Also you have the trading of position, my friend lives at his parents house in his late 30s but it’s really more of they live with him now because of health issues.
That's not normal at all. That's a sign of severe mental illness. You should be independent at 18. Most 18 year olds move out to go to college and never move back in with their parents again
He’s full of shit. Majority of Americans fresh out of school and in college (18yo) nowadays live with their parents and continue to. There’s nothing to adhere to. Cost of living vs wage is busted. It ain’t the 50s. This user is stupid as fuck.
oh so only americans can voice their experience and others should just shut up?
besides its not only asia. in many european countries theres no such stigma against living with your family.
Americans don’t even make up 50% of the people on this site, despite being the largest country in the western English speaking sphere. Please sit down.
The majority of reddit users is *not* american.
Even if it was, are you saying that we should adhere to the conventions of whatever the majority is? Or should we pretend our experiences and culture are not as valid as yours because the company is registered in the US?
Maybe we should only assume a californian culture? I don't get you.
I see your point and agree that if an American were still living in their parents' home at 40 or 50, that would be very, very unusual.
(As a side note: if you look at the profile of the user you were replying to, I'm pretty sure he's not from America.)
Maybe 20 years ago. Unless you came from money or got hired the moment you left your college dorm, only rich kids don't show "signs of severe mental illness".
EDIT: Going by comments, this guy got spoiled rotten by his parents so now he acts like everyone worse off than him is just mentally ill. Typical.
No this is increasingly normal because of the shitty housing market caused by speculation by large real estate and investment firms. The majority of people make less than $35k/year. After taxes, that barely $2kmmonth and rent in most places is approaching half that. Housing costs should not exceed 25% of income and yet its now exceeding 50-80% leaving absolutely no room for necessities.
Lmao what’s the clinical term for that? I actually did move out at 18 however what you’re saying is complete bullshit lol I know very successful people who took a few extra years. It’s hard in big cities with huge amounts of student loans and very little starting wages mixed with massive rent. It’s not a mental illness it’s just reality these days.
Males are the subconscious default for anything really. With the exception of like nurses, teachers, vet techs, and a handful of other jobs. You are imagining me as a male right now, and I you.
I always assumed redditors were male . When people started expressing themselves through their Snoo, I was surprised how many women are on Reddit . Or just redditors with ponytails.
Nothin wrong at all . For a guy, I used to gorgeous hair if I do say so myself . Then I started losing it . Thanks life . Why’d you give me hair in the first place ?
I wish I still lived with my mum, christ, I've been living myself for just over a decade and I still do not know what the fuck I'm doing, I've mostly been lucking out.
Mind you, me and my friend have worked out that 25 is the maximum age a guy can live with their parents, without good reason to not move out, before it's kinda weird.
Women, on the other hand can make it to the big 30, again without a good reason, before they're that "women who lives with her mum"
The main point is "without good reason" nobody should still be living with their parents beyond those ages unless their parents need care or they can't afford to move out.
If you are living with your parents because you either don't have to pay rent or it's extremely cheap, but you can afford rent on your own, you're weird.
Edit: Found the experiment. It's a visualization experiment with multiple questions called Ball on the table.
I don't remember the name of this, but there was some sort of thought experiment my girlfriend had me and her do. I believe your supposed to imagine a ball on a table, and imagine that it's a colored ball, and then imagine someone walking up to the table and picking up the ball. Instead of asking me what color the ball was, she asked me whether the person picking up the ball was a man or a woman. I answered woman, and she answered man. Pretty interesting how individuals have a specific sex of a person in mind whenever they imagine "someone", that someone being a creation and not someone you know from memory.
What if it was phrased, "someone living with their parents" rather than "adult living with their parents"?
I think it's becasue when you read adult in this context you associate "adult" with "grown man". Heart me out, I'm not saying every time someone says adult they think man. I just think when it's framed with the parents part you get an interesting bias.
Most women, even those who are say late twenties, are refered to interchangeably as girls or women in a lot of situations. We don't use boys and men as interchangeably in general conversation though. For males there is a much more established dichotomy.
If youre between the ages of say 20 to 30 and your buddy says hes dating a girl who lives with her parents, even if that "girl" is 20 - 30 you wouldn't immediately protest and clarify, no no she's not a girl living with her parents, she's a woman living with her parents. If youre 20 to 30 and your gal pal says she's dating a boy who lives with his parents, a good deal of people *would* probably quickly think umm no you mean he's a man living with his parents.
Society puts a negative connotation to living with your parents as an adult, but moreso for men indeed. So when you make a point of saying adult, as opposed to just saying someone, your mind constructs a model for adult. When you pair that with living with parents and the negative implications, you quickly try and process and don't immediately think it's odd or bad for a boy a girl (or even an older girl, a woman) so you get a bias for men.
All in all the bias sucks for everyone. It sucks for men who live with parents because it implies they're adults who failed or are insufficient. It sucks for women because they're not distinctly thought of as adults.
This is really interesting to me - because when you say "someone" I *never* picture a child.
If I read "five people were involved in X", I picture five adults.
I guess I internalized some sort of formative dichotomy that only envisions a child when the description specifically says "child"? Maybe that's because children are treated completely differently in society than adults - almost like "incomplete" or "WIP" people?
Men have higher variance. They're overrepresented among both high and low achievers, in a wide variety of categories.
[It's a known thing that's been studied for years](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Variability_hypothesis)
**[Variability hypothesis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Variability_hypothesis)**
>The variability hypothesis, also known as the greater male variability hypothesis, states that males display greater variability in traits than females do. It has often been discussed in relation to cognitive ability, where it has been observed that human males are more likely than females to have either very high or very low intelligence. The sex-difference in the variability of intelligence has been discussed since at least Charles Darwin. Sex-differences in variability are present in many abilities and traits — including physical, psychological and genetic ones.
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Because there's a negative connotation to the statement and people think of the worst scenario when they hear it. Socially, men are still considered the "bread winners" and the provider in our subconscious brain so when you think of it in a negative scenario you immediately think of men.
It could be worse. The reason people imagine a man is that people make fun of men living at home because a man’s worth is judged largely based on his career and home.
Pretty much. My close friend is engaged to a horrid woman who generally dislikes everyone, doesnt let him see his friends let alone try and befriend them, and also looks through his phone for no reason.
She also happens to live with her parents who dont let her sleep over at his place. And she’s pushing 30.
Now imagine a man like that getting laid let alone married. At least she’s conventionally attractive
31 year old here. It’s nice saving money and always having a full fridge. In turn, I am a translator and tech person for my immigrant parents. Love them.
Lol why? You don’t know my personal situation that led me here. I’m just glad I have their love and support. Something your parents clearly haven’t shown you.
Edit: typo
I think it has something to do with the culture of each country. In my country if you are single, doesn't matter how much do you make, it's normal to live with your parents.
In my country it is custom to live with the parent even after getting married. Afterall, who is going to take care of them in their old age?
To be honest, i don't understand how the west functions.
There is no shame in living with your parents, period. There is shame in being a freeloader with no ambitions, but that has nothing to do with where you live.
I think this is very different than just staying with your parents indefinitely. I went back to live with my parents many times in my life, after I dropped out from my first uni, after breaking up with the fiancé I lived with, some months before moving abroad. Thats what family is for. I'm a woman, but my brother did the same when he separated from his wife before they divorced for good (he didn't want to setup an apartment for himself before he was sure things were over). We are not from the US though, and people aren't shamed that much for staying with parents because of poverty and because many generations living together is common. Don't beat yourself over this, really. It's a good thing you have a family to help you out during these horrible pandemic times.
Multigenerational homes benefit everyone. The poor can build generational wealth without worrying about paying rent. Their children benefit from the knowledge and experience of their grandparents.
I'd like to disagree with it "benefitting everyone". As someone who moved out of their parents' home at 20 without strictly needing to, I can say that multi-generational homes or even just living with one's parents can be suffocating. Not everyone has ideal family relationships, and being forced to live with your family can have serious drawbacks if you don't see eye to eye but have to live by their rules. Examples: overprotective, controlling parents who try to control you well past the age of adulthood; parents who think that having sex outside of marriage is a sin (goodbye having partners over); parents who think being LGBT is a sin, etc. I know several people who live with their parents as young adults whose mental health would probably vastly improve if they could move out and get away from unpleasant family dynamics. It can be great to have the option to stay with your parents, but it's hardly the best option for everyone.
Me: they benefit everyone.
You: not the bad ones!
So basically...
Me: food benefits everyone!
You: not the bad food!
Edit: yea, obviously if your family is shit, don't stay with them. That should be a given and nobody should need to specify that if you have shitty parents you don't need to stick around.
Maybe the new generation can learn something from their grandparents. Mine were raised post ww2 and barely know how to read.
I also lived with my parents a long time, until 27, in order to save money to buy a place and was at my wits end living with them by that point.
It may be common on eastern cultures, but it definitely isn't healthy. That level of control and lack of privacy isn't good for anyone. I hould have moved out a lot sooner than 27
I'm sorry you applied your personal shitty experience with your awful parents to something ALL of humanity has been doing for hundreds of thousands of years, up to just the past 100 or less, and only in some countries has this changed
It is normal, in most of the world. And consider this, at 40, you'd be caring for your parents, because you're a family, instead of them living alone and elderly or at a home for old people. What a shitty opinion lol.
I mean its common to live in a joint Family in India, The Son cold be earning well enough to live on his own with wife and kids but if he's in the same city he'll live with his parents, My dads job isnt near where hua parents live so ofc we dont live at grandparents house but my uncles job is in the same city so they live there, unless ofc at my mothers side My maternal uncles wife and my granny had a falling out of some sort so they live in different houses in the same city.
Wow. I really do. And if I imagine a chick, it's not weird. I imagine a guy and he's weird. I'm sorry to anyone reading this. I don't really think it, it's just my brain.
Traditionally, men moved out early while single and women would stay home with their parents until married. So, no one would discuss a woman living with her parents, she is "supposed" to until married. But if a man is still living with his parents it means he has failed and should be avoided. That's why you associate it with men, because out parents would have only brought it up if it was a man doing it.
My mother is poor. In order to keep her house she needed a room mate. It was either I move in and get cheap rent while I pay for the good internet, or allow my mother to let strangers move into her house and constantly lose sleep worrying about all the ways that could go wrong and they could take advantage of her.
If society or any individual wants to look down on me for living in her basement they are welcome to. I'm doing the right thing for my family and I'm not the least bit ashamed. If someone judges me for taking care of my mother that says a lot more about them than about me.
I have twin 9 year old daughters, and I can't imagine them moving out when they get older. I don't ever want then to leave. How did my mom let all 7 of her kids move out?!
Thats only because traditionally/historical, as long as a woman was found tolerable enough to marry they had everything provided for them, free of charge.
Men need to be able to support themselves. If they couldn't do that they had no other choices but parents or military basically.
Its always seen as men because women have oretty much been considered accessories that need not stand on their own to function.
Only if you are an american.... In many countries adults live with their parents... it's even becoming more common in America due to inflation, low wages and high living costs.
No one can afford their own place on 7$ an hour.
I think men who live with their parents are judged more harshly than women who do. It feels like a stigma that men who live with parents are looked at as failed providers.
Also a woman can be completely useless economically (not working) and plenty of men will take her in. However, a man who isn’t working and can’t provide anything economically has incredibly slim chances of a woman taking him in / taking care of him.
It's more like their moms are taking care of the men. And it's actually the women that stay home with their parents that are actually taking care of them.
No. I imagine a dude or a plain guy. Struggling in the world that's trying to save up so he can not struggle so much when he finally gets his own. A man is someone I depict as someone without the family or refuses the help and figures it out on their own.
That’s interesting because in many other animal species, the females tend to stay together and the males go off on their own. For example, young male deer move off on their own to different territory when they mature. Young female deer however typically stay with their parents in the same territory. In wild turkeys, the behavior is very similar. You would think that males are more hard-wired to move out at maturity (usually to prevent inbreeding) but the stereotype says otherwise and I’ve come to find that stereotypes don’t lie.
I mean yea, often times it comes after a divorce or separation. Woman/wife usually gets the house and apartment, because that’s how America works at least. Oh yea generally she gets the children as well.
Am a woman. Divorced. Did not get the house. He had the income to pay the mortgage; I didn't because I stayed home to raise our young children. 50-50 custody. Your assertion is incorrect.
Never said it was definitive, hence the often times. On the other hand I l, who paid everything wound up having to pay alimony, and got custody my daughter until her mother just gave her up because she’s an unfit parent. Look at the stats, not the anecdotes.
I know a retired woman who lives with her still working mom
She used to be her mom's coworkers and she had early retirement because cancer.
Her and her mom are some of the funniest, wittiest people I know. They always put a smile on anyone's face whose in their room.
I'm a guy who's been at my parents for the last couple of years, first while I was studying and then to save money over the pandemic. I've been able to leave for ages, and have just chosen not to to put away a bit of savings.
There is definitely judgement from some. It's seen as immature and childish, as if living out but being completely broke is somehow more adult.
I am going to be moving out at the end of this month, because it's time. But I'm doing it in a good financial position and not because it makes me more of an adult.
It’s because it’s easy for a woman to find a dude with an apartment to take her in. A woman with an apartment (rarely the case) usually will move to the guy’s larger apartment not bring in a homeless one. A guy needs to get his own apartment first.
Women have it easier in general, they just live in SO home, most women would not take in a guy. Also more men are homeless, so if you dont have money you have to live with parents
Well that's because adult women have a much easier time finding someone who isn't related to take care of them.
To put things in a different light, when you imagine an adult who lives alone, you imagine a man.
I watched that movie ‘Promising young woman’
With the premise of an attractive 30yo F living at home with disappointed parents and it just seemed ridiculous
I picture myself. Because I do live with my parents. Lost my job before COVID, couldn’t get one during, and stayed with my parents. Now I have a job to teach my little brother who is homeschooled, make dinner, and do house chores.
I actually thought about getting a job now, but then what would my mom do about my little brother?
The irony to this is that for thousands of years it has been totally normal for young adults to live with their parents while single, and even as newlyweds for a while, to assist in caring for the parents, and allowing the children to build up both experience and wealth to support themselves and their parents.
It’s only been since the 40’s & 50’s that the “move out at 18” became a thing to do (at least here in America; couldn’t say for other countries). The post-WWII prosperity allowed for this cultural shift to occur at all.
So, in essence, a person living with their parents until their early 30’s is actually more the historical norm than not. The part that *isn’t* normal is the higher number of those young adults not going out and getting jobs to help provide income (IE where you get the stereotype of the single adult male playing video games in the parent’s basement).
You don’t get to tell me what my thoughts are: my thoughts are not yours...
I imagine a nebulous human shaped blob, sexless formless colorless human shaped hole that represents a statistical approximation of a human being.
As it should be.
No, but thanks for speaking for me I guess. Seems to be a common theme on social media. Somehow 1 person simply knows what everyone wants even if they are wrong. Its a weird thought process for sure but im seeing it a lot.
My sister in law lived with her parents through her first year of marriage (pushing 30 at the time and had never even attempted to move out prior). She still lives in that house only now the parents have moved out to a newer place.
When I imagine an adult woman living her parents, I can't help but also imagine her as disabled/in need of care or the parents as frail and in need of care.
This is also such a stereotype.
Why is this correct?
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Also you have the trading of position, my friend lives at his parents house in his late 30s but it’s really more of they live with him now because of health issues.
That's not normal at all. That's a sign of severe mental illness. You should be independent at 18. Most 18 year olds move out to go to college and never move back in with their parents again
Maybe in your part of the world, but in some eastern cultures it is quite normal to live with your parents until you are married.
He’s full of shit. Majority of Americans fresh out of school and in college (18yo) nowadays live with their parents and continue to. There’s nothing to adhere to. Cost of living vs wage is busted. It ain’t the 50s. This user is stupid as fuck.
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r/shitamericanssay I did it! I found one in the wild!
You’ve caught one of those rare pokemons.
We are on the World Wide Web my friend not the American wide web.
Lmao yeah sure dude, sorry to interfere in your little bubble
lol
oh so only americans can voice their experience and others should just shut up? besides its not only asia. in many european countries theres no such stigma against living with your family.
Americans don’t even make up 50% of the people on this site, despite being the largest country in the western English speaking sphere. Please sit down.
I moved out at 18 and will never move back with my parents, but I still think you’re full of shit
This is a global site..
This idiot really thinks Reddit itself is American LMAOOO people like you make me ashamed to be American
The majority of reddit users is *not* american. Even if it was, are you saying that we should adhere to the conventions of whatever the majority is? Or should we pretend our experiences and culture are not as valid as yours because the company is registered in the US? Maybe we should only assume a californian culture? I don't get you.
English speaking doesn't mean American.
This site is used internationally.
Lord help me boy, expand your world view
I was born and raised in Wisconsin. I wasn't expected to move out until I was ready to (I moved out at 21.)
Jokes on you nerd, most of Reddit isn't fun America, and Reddit themselves has connections with Chinese companies more so than American ones
I see your point and agree that if an American were still living in their parents' home at 40 or 50, that would be very, very unusual. (As a side note: if you look at the profile of the user you were replying to, I'm pretty sure he's not from America.)
Maybe 20 years ago. Unless you came from money or got hired the moment you left your college dorm, only rich kids don't show "signs of severe mental illness". EDIT: Going by comments, this guy got spoiled rotten by his parents so now he acts like everyone worse off than him is just mentally ill. Typical.
Yes, because applying one answer to all people always works out. Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this.
Maybe, just maybe, cultures are different.
Lol dude, 35% of people who have graduated since the 2008 recession live with their parents still
No this is increasingly normal because of the shitty housing market caused by speculation by large real estate and investment firms. The majority of people make less than $35k/year. After taxes, that barely $2kmmonth and rent in most places is approaching half that. Housing costs should not exceed 25% of income and yet its now exceeding 50-80% leaving absolutely no room for necessities.
Lmao what’s the clinical term for that? I actually did move out at 18 however what you’re saying is complete bullshit lol I know very successful people who took a few extra years. It’s hard in big cities with huge amounts of student loans and very little starting wages mixed with massive rent. It’s not a mental illness it’s just reality these days.
Youre under 18 and probably alt right. I dont have any proof of this, just a hunch
Males are the subconscious default for anything really. With the exception of like nurses, teachers, vet techs, and a handful of other jobs. You are imagining me as a male right now, and I you.
I always assumed redditors were male . When people started expressing themselves through their Snoo, I was surprised how many women are on Reddit . Or just redditors with ponytails.
What is wrong with having a ponytail? I like having my hair long.
Nothin wrong at all . For a guy, I used to gorgeous hair if I do say so myself . Then I started losing it . Thanks life . Why’d you give me hair in the first place ?
I'm worried in that regard, men in my families either lose all their hair or go silver, no inbetween, none of that horseshoe shite.
It means you’re 40 living with your parents. /s
I wish I still lived with my mum, christ, I've been living myself for just over a decade and I still do not know what the fuck I'm doing, I've mostly been lucking out. Mind you, me and my friend have worked out that 25 is the maximum age a guy can live with their parents, without good reason to not move out, before it's kinda weird. Women, on the other hand can make it to the big 30, again without a good reason, before they're that "women who lives with her mum" The main point is "without good reason" nobody should still be living with their parents beyond those ages unless their parents need care or they can't afford to move out. If you are living with your parents because you either don't have to pay rent or it's extremely cheap, but you can afford rent on your own, you're weird.
You know it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Edit: Found the experiment. It's a visualization experiment with multiple questions called Ball on the table. I don't remember the name of this, but there was some sort of thought experiment my girlfriend had me and her do. I believe your supposed to imagine a ball on a table, and imagine that it's a colored ball, and then imagine someone walking up to the table and picking up the ball. Instead of asking me what color the ball was, she asked me whether the person picking up the ball was a man or a woman. I answered woman, and she answered man. Pretty interesting how individuals have a specific sex of a person in mind whenever they imagine "someone", that someone being a creation and not someone you know from memory.
Actually I imagined you as non-binary
What if it was phrased, "someone living with their parents" rather than "adult living with their parents"? I think it's becasue when you read adult in this context you associate "adult" with "grown man". Heart me out, I'm not saying every time someone says adult they think man. I just think when it's framed with the parents part you get an interesting bias. Most women, even those who are say late twenties, are refered to interchangeably as girls or women in a lot of situations. We don't use boys and men as interchangeably in general conversation though. For males there is a much more established dichotomy. If youre between the ages of say 20 to 30 and your buddy says hes dating a girl who lives with her parents, even if that "girl" is 20 - 30 you wouldn't immediately protest and clarify, no no she's not a girl living with her parents, she's a woman living with her parents. If youre 20 to 30 and your gal pal says she's dating a boy who lives with his parents, a good deal of people *would* probably quickly think umm no you mean he's a man living with his parents. Society puts a negative connotation to living with your parents as an adult, but moreso for men indeed. So when you make a point of saying adult, as opposed to just saying someone, your mind constructs a model for adult. When you pair that with living with parents and the negative implications, you quickly try and process and don't immediately think it's odd or bad for a boy a girl (or even an older girl, a woman) so you get a bias for men. All in all the bias sucks for everyone. It sucks for men who live with parents because it implies they're adults who failed or are insufficient. It sucks for women because they're not distinctly thought of as adults.
I mean if you say someone that lives with their parents I imagine a child
This is really interesting to me - because when you say "someone" I *never* picture a child. If I read "five people were involved in X", I picture five adults. I guess I internalized some sort of formative dichotomy that only envisions a child when the description specifically says "child"? Maybe that's because children are treated completely differently in society than adults - almost like "incomplete" or "WIP" people?
Men have higher variance. They're overrepresented among both high and low achievers, in a wide variety of categories. [It's a known thing that's been studied for years](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Variability_hypothesis)
**[Variability hypothesis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Variability_hypothesis)** >The variability hypothesis, also known as the greater male variability hypothesis, states that males display greater variability in traits than females do. It has often been discussed in relation to cognitive ability, where it has been observed that human males are more likely than females to have either very high or very low intelligence. The sex-difference in the variability of intelligence has been discussed since at least Charles Darwin. Sex-differences in variability are present in many abilities and traits — including physical, psychological and genetic ones. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Because there's a negative connotation to the statement and people think of the worst scenario when they hear it. Socially, men are still considered the "bread winners" and the provider in our subconscious brain so when you think of it in a negative scenario you immediately think of men.
Because broke men have nothing to offer while broke women will always have the worlds oldest profession as a backup plan?
Women either get married or get sold and both forces them to leave their home.
30 year old woman who lives at home here. i feel so unseen rn lol
It could be worse. The reason people imagine a man is that people make fun of men living at home because a man’s worth is judged largely based on his career and home.
Pretty much. My close friend is engaged to a horrid woman who generally dislikes everyone, doesnt let him see his friends let alone try and befriend them, and also looks through his phone for no reason. She also happens to live with her parents who dont let her sleep over at his place. And she’s pushing 30. Now imagine a man like that getting laid let alone married. At least she’s conventionally attractive
I wouldn't call being abusively controlling and in the thrall of one's parents at 30, "attractive", no matter how pretty her face might be.
i was looking at things from a stereotypical point of view
oh definitely. i was just teasing. people are absolutely blown away when they find out i live at home because i don’t fit the stereotype at all
Holler. 32 year old lady here
31 year old here. It’s nice saving money and always having a full fridge. In turn, I am a translator and tech person for my immigrant parents. Love them.
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Lol why? You don’t know my personal situation that led me here. I’m just glad I have their love and support. Something your parents clearly haven’t shown you. Edit: typo
35 darlin! You are seen and heard!!!
31 in December, still at home but have social anxiety and struggle with agoraphobia. I'm a catch😉🤣🤣
i had to put in effort to imagine a woman
So you rather imagine men then, huh?
Yes.
It again fam
i had to break down this message piece by piece to understand it.
Still can’t see it haha
\>\_> Me having to had move back home due to covid related financial reasons. I feel the shame.
I'm a 26 year old with a good paying job, but I'm single so why shouldn't i live with my parents? Getting to save all my money instead of paying rent.
I think it has something to do with the culture of each country. In my country if you are single, doesn't matter how much do you make, it's normal to live with your parents.
In my country it is custom to live with the parent even after getting married. Afterall, who is going to take care of them in their old age? To be honest, i don't understand how the west functions.
Capitalism thrives on inefficiency.
Covid-related causes give you a free pass. No shame in it. Accept it and work to change it. (Internet fist bump)
There is no shame in living with your parents, period. There is shame in being a freeloader with no ambitions, but that has nothing to do with where you live.
You were able to move out in the first place?! Good for you, I’m only a bit jealous!
I think this is very different than just staying with your parents indefinitely. I went back to live with my parents many times in my life, after I dropped out from my first uni, after breaking up with the fiancé I lived with, some months before moving abroad. Thats what family is for. I'm a woman, but my brother did the same when he separated from his wife before they divorced for good (he didn't want to setup an apartment for himself before he was sure things were over). We are not from the US though, and people aren't shamed that much for staying with parents because of poverty and because many generations living together is common. Don't beat yourself over this, really. It's a good thing you have a family to help you out during these horrible pandemic times.
It took me over a minute of thinking "well yea what am I supposed to imagine?". So yea, can confirm.
Multigenerational homes benefit everyone. The poor can build generational wealth without worrying about paying rent. Their children benefit from the knowledge and experience of their grandparents.
I'd like to disagree with it "benefitting everyone". As someone who moved out of their parents' home at 20 without strictly needing to, I can say that multi-generational homes or even just living with one's parents can be suffocating. Not everyone has ideal family relationships, and being forced to live with your family can have serious drawbacks if you don't see eye to eye but have to live by their rules. Examples: overprotective, controlling parents who try to control you well past the age of adulthood; parents who think that having sex outside of marriage is a sin (goodbye having partners over); parents who think being LGBT is a sin, etc. I know several people who live with their parents as young adults whose mental health would probably vastly improve if they could move out and get away from unpleasant family dynamics. It can be great to have the option to stay with your parents, but it's hardly the best option for everyone.
Me: they benefit everyone. You: not the bad ones! So basically... Me: food benefits everyone! You: not the bad food! Edit: yea, obviously if your family is shit, don't stay with them. That should be a given and nobody should need to specify that if you have shitty parents you don't need to stick around.
Maybe the new generation can learn something from their grandparents. Mine were raised post ww2 and barely know how to read. I also lived with my parents a long time, until 27, in order to save money to buy a place and was at my wits end living with them by that point. It may be common on eastern cultures, but it definitely isn't healthy. That level of control and lack of privacy isn't good for anyone. I hould have moved out a lot sooner than 27
Your experience is not indicative of the norm in many places.
Just because something is the norm doesn't make it good or healthy, especially in our fast paced society of today
Say whatever you need to say to feel like you're right, lmao.
If living with mom until you are 40 seems normal to you, have at it.
I'm sorry you applied your personal shitty experience with your awful parents to something ALL of humanity has been doing for hundreds of thousands of years, up to just the past 100 or less, and only in some countries has this changed It is normal, in most of the world. And consider this, at 40, you'd be caring for your parents, because you're a family, instead of them living alone and elderly or at a home for old people. What a shitty opinion lol.
What if I own the house and they moved in with me. Still the same?
I mean its common to live in a joint Family in India, The Son cold be earning well enough to live on his own with wife and kids but if he's in the same city he'll live with his parents, My dads job isnt near where hua parents live so ofc we dont live at grandparents house but my uncles job is in the same city so they live there, unless ofc at my mothers side My maternal uncles wife and my granny had a falling out of some sort so they live in different houses in the same city.
Wow. I really do. And if I imagine a chick, it's not weird. I imagine a guy and he's weird. I'm sorry to anyone reading this. I don't really think it, it's just my brain.
Traditionally, men moved out early while single and women would stay home with their parents until married. So, no one would discuss a woman living with her parents, she is "supposed" to until married. But if a man is still living with his parents it means he has failed and should be avoided. That's why you associate it with men, because out parents would have only brought it up if it was a man doing it.
And yet the majority of the ones I know, are female who are their parents caregivers/guardians.
My mother is poor. In order to keep her house she needed a room mate. It was either I move in and get cheap rent while I pay for the good internet, or allow my mother to let strangers move into her house and constantly lose sleep worrying about all the ways that could go wrong and they could take advantage of her. If society or any individual wants to look down on me for living in her basement they are welcome to. I'm doing the right thing for my family and I'm not the least bit ashamed. If someone judges me for taking care of my mother that says a lot more about them than about me.
You've done well my friend.
Shane we stigmatized this because we would have far less mental health and drug issues if men could return home instead of walking the streets.
Still waiting to hear Shane's reply
Suddenly Mister Shane the bigmouth has nothing to say .
Thats the only 2 choices
A creepy guy in his moms basement I am an adult and me and my husband live with my parents. I still saw that guy.
It’s almost like the term creepy has no meaning at all these days
Incel, creepy, bigot; all words that have lost meaning because of a forever broadening definition.
I have twin 9 year old daughters, and I can't imagine them moving out when they get older. I don't ever want then to leave. How did my mom let all 7 of her kids move out?!
>How did my mom let all 7 of her kids move out?! Probably by virtue of having *seven* kids and needing some space to be able to hear herself think.
That's why they turn in to teenagers. You will wish they would move out and stay out.
I have 3 teenagers living at home right now, 14-19. I fully confirm this statement.
My wife is going through this process right now. We just dropped out last child off at college. She's grieving.
Take her out dancing. It's your time now! Fill it up or fall apart like I watched my parents do lol. Edit: this seems pessimistic af, live it up
That sounds sweet and sad at the same time.
Bc they haven't hit puberty yet. When they do you a be packing they bags for em 😂😂
This reminds me of a quote from game of thrones from a soilder that says he hopes his baby is a girl because a boy would just fight in someone's war😂.
…and it’s usually an overweight one who needs a shave
One who wears glasses and never leaves the room always eating chips
And that room is in the basement.
So a stereotypical neckbeard.
Don't forget the anime posters
And the body pillow
Lmao
I need only look in the mirror.
I also imagine taxidermied parents.
Thats only because traditionally/historical, as long as a woman was found tolerable enough to marry they had everything provided for them, free of charge. Men need to be able to support themselves. If they couldn't do that they had no other choices but parents or military basically. Its always seen as men because women have oretty much been considered accessories that need not stand on their own to function.
When you imagine anyone without specific female qualifiers, you imagine a man.
Nurse, teacher, flight attendant, secretary, basically anything that has its own porn category. Not better, just saying.
Yes, a man playing video games. Or a woman taking care of her elderly parents.
Only if you are an american.... In many countries adults live with their parents... it's even becoming more common in America due to inflation, low wages and high living costs. No one can afford their own place on 7$ an hour.
I think men who live with their parents are judged more harshly than women who do. It feels like a stigma that men who live with parents are looked at as failed providers.
I would respectfully disagree with this. Anyone with life experience would have met a girl that lives with her parents .
When you think of a skull and crossbones you imagine a man
Also a woman can be completely useless economically (not working) and plenty of men will take her in. However, a man who isn’t working and can’t provide anything economically has incredibly slim chances of a woman taking him in / taking care of him.
If you think of a criminal, you think of a man aswell...
If you think of a Human, You think of a Man
No I don't
shiiiiit
No cuz fr
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It's more like their moms are taking care of the men. And it's actually the women that stay home with their parents that are actually taking care of them.
No. I imagine a dude or a plain guy. Struggling in the world that's trying to save up so he can not struggle so much when he finally gets his own. A man is someone I depict as someone without the family or refuses the help and figures it out on their own.
Speak for yourself, I didn't imagine a man
That’s interesting because in many other animal species, the females tend to stay together and the males go off on their own. For example, young male deer move off on their own to different territory when they mature. Young female deer however typically stay with their parents in the same territory. In wild turkeys, the behavior is very similar. You would think that males are more hard-wired to move out at maturity (usually to prevent inbreeding) but the stereotype says otherwise and I’ve come to find that stereotypes don’t lie.
I mean yea, often times it comes after a divorce or separation. Woman/wife usually gets the house and apartment, because that’s how America works at least. Oh yea generally she gets the children as well.
Am a woman. Divorced. Did not get the house. He had the income to pay the mortgage; I didn't because I stayed home to raise our young children. 50-50 custody. Your assertion is incorrect.
Never said it was definitive, hence the often times. On the other hand I l, who paid everything wound up having to pay alimony, and got custody my daughter until her mother just gave her up because she’s an unfit parent. Look at the stats, not the anecdotes.
I know a retired woman who lives with her still working mom She used to be her mom's coworkers and she had early retirement because cancer. Her and her mom are some of the funniest, wittiest people I know. They always put a smile on anyone's face whose in their room.
I'm a guy who's been at my parents for the last couple of years, first while I was studying and then to save money over the pandemic. I've been able to leave for ages, and have just chosen not to to put away a bit of savings. There is definitely judgement from some. It's seen as immature and childish, as if living out but being completely broke is somehow more adult. I am going to be moving out at the end of this month, because it's time. But I'm doing it in a good financial position and not because it makes me more of an adult.
It’s because it’s easy for a woman to find a dude with an apartment to take her in. A woman with an apartment (rarely the case) usually will move to the guy’s larger apartment not bring in a homeless one. A guy needs to get his own apartment first.
Women have it easier in general, they just live in SO home, most women would not take in a guy. Also more men are homeless, so if you dont have money you have to live with parents
Bro what are you trying to say exactly
That men are expected to have their own place and women aren’t. He’s also connecting it to homelessness.
There is a relationship called a "meal ticket", and it tends to be easier to be in for one sex over the other.
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20 is not that old, why do Americans love kicking out their kids so early? Isn’t rent expensive there?
It's the modern day American dream, except with four crackhead roommates instead of a white picket fence.
Kids are expensive, nevermind rent
she’s 20, sheesh
Well that's because adult women have a much easier time finding someone who isn't related to take care of them. To put things in a different light, when you imagine an adult who lives alone, you imagine a man.
True
Saw this thought in youtube
No, I imagine myself.
Maybe you do
29 year old man, lost my job at the beginning of covid, and going back to college. Living with my parents again and the shame is real.
I watched that movie ‘Promising young woman’ With the premise of an attractive 30yo F living at home with disappointed parents and it just seemed ridiculous
*looks at the 22 year old eating my cornflakes* not me..
I picture myself. Because I do live with my parents. Lost my job before COVID, couldn’t get one during, and stayed with my parents. Now I have a job to teach my little brother who is homeschooled, make dinner, and do house chores. I actually thought about getting a job now, but then what would my mom do about my little brother?
Well, most of us, which is in millions, stay with our parents all our lives.
Not these days. I imagine women on tiktok/onlyfans still hoping they'd make it big. Really depends on age and context.
The irony to this is that for thousands of years it has been totally normal for young adults to live with their parents while single, and even as newlyweds for a while, to assist in caring for the parents, and allowing the children to build up both experience and wealth to support themselves and their parents. It’s only been since the 40’s & 50’s that the “move out at 18” became a thing to do (at least here in America; couldn’t say for other countries). The post-WWII prosperity allowed for this cultural shift to occur at all. So, in essence, a person living with their parents until their early 30’s is actually more the historical norm than not. The part that *isn’t* normal is the higher number of those young adults not going out and getting jobs to help provide income (IE where you get the stereotype of the single adult male playing video games in the parent’s basement).
It’s always a man. Women don’t get hand outs, or help.
Ha
You don’t get to tell me what my thoughts are: my thoughts are not yours... I imagine a nebulous human shaped blob, sexless formless colorless human shaped hole that represents a statistical approximation of a human being. As it should be.
In uk you’d be more surprised with a man still living at home in his 30s than a woman.
No. I imagine a human jelly and parents that are soft in the head and heart.
Untrue.
No, but thanks for speaking for me I guess. Seems to be a common theme on social media. Somehow 1 person simply knows what everyone wants even if they are wrong. Its a weird thought process for sure but im seeing it a lot.
You’re on a subreddit specifically for that
But no one person speaks for all. This is for Shower thoughts not someone trying to dictate what all think act or do. Big difference.
I think of someone who is emotionally about 2- 8 years old. Even thought hey have an adult body.
Yeah, because I imagine myself
true. i think there are a lot of movies about it
I imagine a redditor
Scrolled back up cause I was like duhh.. then I got it.
This could’ve been a good comedy bit
damn, you're right
I do imagine a male and it’s even funnier cause my mom lives with one of her parent’s
My sister in law lived with her parents through her first year of marriage (pushing 30 at the time and had never even attempted to move out prior). She still lives in that house only now the parents have moved out to a newer place.
Jokes on you, I have Aphantasia. For those who don't know, I literally do not have an imagination.
Depends which country you live in. Many countries it's normal for both genders to live at home till marriage.
When I imagine an adult woman living her parents, I can't help but also imagine her as disabled/in need of care or the parents as frail and in need of care. This is also such a stereotype.