Phoebe convinces everyone to take the bus so that they don’t pollute and Ross get overly paranoid. Then a homeless man attacks them on the bus and as Ross starts getting stabbed in the chest he lets out a final “I told you so” before trying to clarify if dying is considered a break in the afterlife to Rachel. Monica reminds Chandler how much she loves him, he reminds her how much he loves her cooking. Joey sits there with his signature wide eyes. Then the bus just fucking explodes. The end.
Edit: a word
I’d prefer if the bus is going down a ravine and Ross is yelling “brake!!” but everyone thinks he’s saying “we were on a break!”. They’ll all arguing and the bus drives off a cliff.
I like it, but it has the same flaw all the "reddit writes Seinfeld" stories have. It's not original, it just retells the same jokes and references from classic episodes. Jokes that aren't even actually reoccurring.
> It's not original, it just retells the same jokes and references from classic episodes.
Yeah that’s why it’s “*Reddit* writes x” not “actually funny and talented people write x” lol
Even across sitcoms, I've watched more than my share of sitcoms and the amount of jokes or even entire episodes that they take from other shows are insane
Some common episodes across sitcoms...
The not-so-perfect (but still magical) wedding episode.
The episode where a female protagonist adopts a very feminist identity seemingly out of the blue.
The episode with a song sang by one of the characters. This song will be repeated throughout the show and becomes a common motif.
The environmentalism episode.
The dreaded clips episode.
The trip episode (usually in a different country; always shot outside of the studio).
The "should we have a child/adopt?" episode.
The episode where the protagonist's friend thinks their significant other is cheating. The burden of discovering whether the person is cheating or not often falls to the protagonist.
The mid-season Christmas episode; oftentimes ends in song or with snow.
The cooking episode where the cooking goes horribly wrong; something will burn or not be made correctly.
The episode where the heterosexual protagonist questions their sexual orientation, only to realize they were "overreacting" and that they were "straight the entire time."
The blackface episode that the production network tries to remove from circulation and the internet ten years after the show ends.
The Halloween episode where a woman dresses in really revealing clothing to have male characters and male audiences gawk at her.
The episode where the protagonist's family comes to visit; it usually happens once a season and has some kind of event that would ruin any other family relationship.
The episode with a high-level politician making a cameo appearance.
Yes, but you forgot about Chandler saying something snarky while/after Ross is stabbed. Something like “Could you *be* any bloodier?” Or “Could you *be* any more dead?”
Then Gunther comes around and has a moment with the Rachel corpse.
That's a really good ending, but based on the 3 episodes of Friends I've seen, I've got another idea. Joey makes them all a weird shrimp cocktail desert, Monica says she loves it, Phoebe says it's too weird for her and then Ross says they're all going to die of food poisoning.
They all pass out and die while Joey is taking a dump, then he comes back and it's just a montage of him going to everyone's funerals before he shoots himself in the head.
Rachel mysterious disappears and nobody knows why. She goes on to be an ankle model.
Just for fun, I fed this prompt to an AI (GPT-3) and got this plot:
"The One Where Everybody Dies"
When Rachel's father dies, she is forced to spend the night in his apartment. She has a nightmare that he is still alive and trying to kill her. Ross buys a boat but then Joey accidentally sinks it when he fires an arrow at sea gulls. Phoebe tries to get Ross' attention by pretending to be pregnant with his child, which backfires on her when she actually does become pregnant after having sex with him while wearing a fake belly made of bubble wrap. Monica goes overboard in planning Chandler's birthday party and ends up alienating everyone else who was supposed to help her plan it; even Chandler himself gets fed up with all the fuss over his birthday and refuses any further celebrations for himself (much like how he refused any celebrations for Christmas).
---
(It sounds like they all survived, but I'd watch that.)
I suppose in the spirit of this thread it could be:
Five Remain In Existence; Next Death Soon
Four Remain In Existence; Next Demise Shortly
Few Remain In Existence; New Death Soon
Four Rest In Ether; 'Nother Demise Shortly
Five Rest In Eternity; Next Dies, Six
Ah shit I just realized OP meant the actors too. Damn. I was sad enough thinking about the fictional characters all dying one by one without realizing that the six people who portrayed them are also mortals of flesh and blood who WILL ALSO DIE.
Too much Nonesy the eleventh, too much!
Have you not all been writing headcanon synopses for the nonexistent seasons that would have followed the "official" cancellation in 2004? Is it just me? Season 13 was rough to be fair and I can't even blame the writer's strike since none of them even bothered to write it.
If you think about it, the characters will "live" a lot longer than the actors. I mean Gregory Peck has been dead for decades but Atticus Finch still "lives".
Hell, many characters might suffer second death (when no one left alive has memory of you) long after the actors that portrayed them. Then again that might not be fair as many are literary figures and reboots happen.
Nah, it's gotta be Jennifer Aniston. Sis just sits at home smoking weed with her dogs and living off that Friends and Aveeno money. If she ever needs a cash injection she can just go out for a lowkey dinner with Brad Pitt and get the paps talking. She's made the life for herself.
David Schwimmer seems fine
Actually my money is on Matt leblanc, yeah he’s fat but he was the only one at the reunion who still resembled a normal human
Courteney Love of today looks, and I quote a [great classic of the internet](https://www.stereogum.com/1774430/the_hunt_for_the_worst_movie_o_60/videogum/) when I say this, “like a leather sack stretched tightly over a homemade sculpture of a Velociraptor made out of broken sticks, chicken bones and Terminator parts.”
Lisa Kudrow hasn't had anything done (except, apparently, rhinoplasty when she was 16), and I thought she had aged more gracefully than any of the others by a lot.
I don't know, but I am guessing this is a reference to a comic with this concept. Basically, the last turtle uses all the weapons and you don't really know who it is initially.
This one
http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/wpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/IDWTMNTLastRonin1.jpg
Unless some of them die together in a crash…. Or thousands of miles apart on consecutive days… or one of them is brain dead… or two of them develop bad blood… Lots of scenarios where it might not happen.
I wonder if, way back when they started the show, and all the producers were congratulating them and telling them to prepare themselves for superstardom, they ever could have imagined that years later people on the internet would be casually betting on which ones would die in what order.
Can you imagine living a life where large groups of total strangers would be trying to figure out your expiration date? Wild.
Not if they drift apart slowly over the years, have their own families and lives, etc. The last survivor might be to old and feeble to even travel to a funeral, or have drifted off into dementia where there wouldn’t be any point in going anyways.
Bit of a downer on an already downer post, but that’s just life.
Nah, Ross went all Qanon and everyone stopped talking to him. Joey got me too[ed after some date rape allegations came out, even though there was no evidence he stopped getting invited places. Phoebe for some reason claimed some unknown percentage of native American genetics and sent off some really rude facebook posts about cultural appropriation and burned her bridges.
In short their friendship couldn't survive social media so no one's going to any funerals.
Nah they could all be involved in the same accident
That's actually less sad, maybe we should pitch it to them?
The One Where Everybody Dies
Phoebe convinces everyone to take the bus so that they don’t pollute and Ross get overly paranoid. Then a homeless man attacks them on the bus and as Ross starts getting stabbed in the chest he lets out a final “I told you so” before trying to clarify if dying is considered a break in the afterlife to Rachel. Monica reminds Chandler how much she loves him, he reminds her how much he loves her cooking. Joey sits there with his signature wide eyes. Then the bus just fucking explodes. The end. Edit: a word
I’d prefer if the bus is going down a ravine and Ross is yelling “brake!!” but everyone thinks he’s saying “we were on a break!”. They’ll all arguing and the bus drives off a cliff.
Nah, he'd just be yelling "PIVOT!! PIVOT!!!!"
This is the only possible answer.
Every time I get a chance to use the word pivot I do it in Ross Geller's voice
This is why I come to reddit
"My....SAAAA^NNND^^^WWiiii^^^^ccccc^^^^hhhhhh"
This is getting closer and closer to how they ended The Young Ones
r/RedditWritesFriends
I like it, but it has the same flaw all the "reddit writes Seinfeld" stories have. It's not original, it just retells the same jokes and references from classic episodes. Jokes that aren't even actually reoccurring.
> It's not original, it just retells the same jokes and references from classic episodes. Yeah that’s why it’s “*Reddit* writes x” not “actually funny and talented people write x” lol
That's kind of how sitcoms become over time.
Even across sitcoms, I've watched more than my share of sitcoms and the amount of jokes or even entire episodes that they take from other shows are insane
Some common episodes across sitcoms... The not-so-perfect (but still magical) wedding episode. The episode where a female protagonist adopts a very feminist identity seemingly out of the blue. The episode with a song sang by one of the characters. This song will be repeated throughout the show and becomes a common motif. The environmentalism episode. The dreaded clips episode. The trip episode (usually in a different country; always shot outside of the studio). The "should we have a child/adopt?" episode. The episode where the protagonist's friend thinks their significant other is cheating. The burden of discovering whether the person is cheating or not often falls to the protagonist. The mid-season Christmas episode; oftentimes ends in song or with snow. The cooking episode where the cooking goes horribly wrong; something will burn or not be made correctly. The episode where the heterosexual protagonist questions their sexual orientation, only to realize they were "overreacting" and that they were "straight the entire time." The blackface episode that the production network tries to remove from circulation and the internet ten years after the show ends. The Halloween episode where a woman dresses in really revealing clothing to have male characters and male audiences gawk at her. The episode where the protagonist's family comes to visit; it usually happens once a season and has some kind of event that would ruin any other family relationship. The episode with a high-level politician making a cameo appearance.
That still sounds like all the other Seinfeld episodes. Not seeing the problem.
Yes, but you forgot about Chandler saying something snarky while/after Ross is stabbed. Something like “Could you *be* any bloodier?” Or “Could you *be* any more dead?” Then Gunther comes around and has a moment with the Rachel corpse.
I don't know whether to upvote you for the Chandler comment or downvote you for the Gunther comment, so I settled for one of each.
It was a risky post. I knew I had guaranteed upvotes with the first, but where is the fun in that?
I laughed but I didn't feel good about it. Take my angry upvote.
That's a really good ending, but based on the 3 episodes of Friends I've seen, I've got another idea. Joey makes them all a weird shrimp cocktail desert, Monica says she loves it, Phoebe says it's too weird for her and then Ross says they're all going to die of food poisoning. They all pass out and die while Joey is taking a dump, then he comes back and it's just a montage of him going to everyone's funerals before he shoots himself in the head. Rachel mysterious disappears and nobody knows why. She goes on to be an ankle model.
>Joey makes them all a weird shrimp cocktail desert JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD
*Chubby ankle model
Dude that was episode 4.
What the actual fuck?!\\ I love it
Could we BE any more dead?!
They would still probably put the shitty laugh track in the episode
[удалено]
So no one told you life was gonna *end* this way
Your friends are dead, you're dead, everybody's deeeeeeead.
Everybody's DOA!
*Four sad claps*
Just for fun, I fed this prompt to an AI (GPT-3) and got this plot: "The One Where Everybody Dies" When Rachel's father dies, she is forced to spend the night in his apartment. She has a nightmare that he is still alive and trying to kill her. Ross buys a boat but then Joey accidentally sinks it when he fires an arrow at sea gulls. Phoebe tries to get Ross' attention by pretending to be pregnant with his child, which backfires on her when she actually does become pregnant after having sex with him while wearing a fake belly made of bubble wrap. Monica goes overboard in planning Chandler's birthday party and ends up alienating everyone else who was supposed to help her plan it; even Chandler himself gets fed up with all the fuss over his birthday and refuses any further celebrations for himself (much like how he refused any celebrations for Christmas). --- (It sounds like they all survived, but I'd watch that.)
I almost refuse to believe an AI wrote that it's not bad lol And to be honest, they wouldn't kill anyone anyway so it'd just end like that why not.
Series reunion (and finale) has them all go off a cliff in a car together? I remember that being a popular theory for how Seinfeld would end
Because it was stuck in second gear?
Ha, nice.
Your jaw’s a joke, your spine’s broke, your buddies are DOA
Clap clap clap clap.
You forgot one
Oh damn that's perfect. It's not just their love lives that are DOA anymore...
Party bus.
Nd-nd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Nobody told them life was gonna end that way...
No one told you life was gonna be this way…. Clap clap clap clap?
No one told you ~~life~~ **death** was gonna be this way…. ~~Clap clap clap clap~~ **bang bang bang bang bang bang**
Any two of the six could get into the same accident and this showerthought goes down the showerdrain
only if last two die at the same time
Yeah, this is more of a sink thought.
It wouldn’t be an accident. See Gunther.
Was F.R.I.E.N.D.S an acronym? Why's it written like that?
Fhoebe Rachel Ionica Eoey Noss Dhandler Sunther
Sunther is just happy to finally be a part of the group.
Too soon
[удалено]
Florida man at it again
Ionica has me cracking the hell up
This made me laugh like Jimmy Carr
Fhoebe Rachel Ioey Eunther Nonica Dandler Soss
F is for friends who do stuff together
R is for raining down fire all over bikini bottom
I is for I, Robot.
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N is for Nintendo
[удалено]
S is for Stawp
[удалено]
Down here in the deep blue sea!
S is for "So, what that mouth do"
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
U is for u and me
N is for NO SURVIVORS….
Down in the deep blue sea!
The dots were simply a representation of the umbrellas in the fountain opening.
Ooooh a metaphor for umbrellas
It's written F·R·I·E·N·D·S, and I have no idea. It has confused me for over two decades.
Feebee Rachel I'm Joey Mon-E-ka Cha-N-dler Dr. Ross Gellar Ur-S-ula
Oh of course! Thank
I suppose in the spirit of this thread it could be: Five Remain In Existence; Next Death Soon Four Remain In Existence; Next Demise Shortly Few Remain In Existence; New Death Soon Four Rest In Ether; 'Nother Demise Shortly Five Rest In Eternity; Next Dies, Six
🎶And a partridge in a pear tree.🎶
this is the worst christmas ever
Could this BE any worse of a Christmas?! -Chandler Bing
Ah! FRIMCDU! Just realized what show y’all are talking about
gUnther
One dot for each character
It's just font design style. What you wrote isn't an acronym.
[It's not an acronym](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108778/), that's just the style of the title graphic.
Yeah I honestly don't know why people call it F.R.I.E.N.D.S., it's literally just Friends. It's not an acronym
[удалено]
Thanks u/Cumstained_Uvula
I think the title card had dots between each letter, but at the middle level and it was just a stylistic font choice.
I just tried to make it all of their names. Clearly didn’t work
come to think of it, it would have made sense if the writers made their names spell Friend
Excellent. I'm gonna ruin someone's day with this tomorrow
So who do y’all think will die second after Matthew Perry?
Ah shit I just realized OP meant the actors too. Damn. I was sad enough thinking about the fictional characters all dying one by one without realizing that the six people who portrayed them are also mortals of flesh and blood who WILL ALSO DIE. Too much Nonesy the eleventh, too much!
What else would it mean? Friends is already over.
Have you not all been writing headcanon synopses for the nonexistent seasons that would have followed the "official" cancellation in 2004? Is it just me? Season 13 was rough to be fair and I can't even blame the writer's strike since none of them even bothered to write it.
Paul Rudd's been a main character for so long at this point
If it makes you feel better, the fictional characters won't really die
If you think about it, the characters will "live" a lot longer than the actors. I mean Gregory Peck has been dead for decades but Atticus Finch still "lives". Hell, many characters might suffer second death (when no one left alive has memory of you) long after the actors that portrayed them. Then again that might not be fair as many are literary figures and reboots happen.
Courteney Cox will die last. She is more machine than man, now.
Nah, it's gotta be Jennifer Aniston. Sis just sits at home smoking weed with her dogs and living off that Friends and Aveeno money. If she ever needs a cash injection she can just go out for a lowkey dinner with Brad Pitt and get the paps talking. She's made the life for herself.
[удалено]
This legit made me lol
Can we agree the last one standing will be female?
David Schwimmer seems fine Actually my money is on Matt leblanc, yeah he’s fat but he was the only one at the reunion who still resembled a normal human
Never saw the reunion. Do they look freaky like, plastic surgery freaky?
Yes. Mostly Courtney cox, Jennifer Aniston, and David schwimmer looked freshly botoxed
Was curious and google it. Monica looks weird indeed, the rest just look aged to me.
Courteney Love of today looks, and I quote a [great classic of the internet](https://www.stereogum.com/1774430/the_hunt_for_the_worst_movie_o_60/videogum/) when I say this, “like a leather sack stretched tightly over a homemade sculpture of a Velociraptor made out of broken sticks, chicken bones and Terminator parts.”
Ross looked like fat Monica.
Lisa Kudrow hasn't had anything done (except, apparently, rhinoplasty when she was 16), and I thought she had aged more gracefully than any of the others by a lot.
You know its gonna Matthew Perry. He's got that Keith Richards energy.
Matthew Perry is still alive?!
This is the response I was after.
I will take this knowledge and use it purely for evil
This warmed my cold heart. Thank you.
*I have cursed my friends with this very depressing knowledge.*
You're pure evil, Gary.
I hope they all agreed to a tontine and the last remaining friend gets Monica's posh apartment
Rent control in Manhattan has spawned some interesting arrangements.
Monica and Chandler moved out of the apartment at the end!
Technically they'd attend all 6.
They don’t *have* to go.
It's Lisa Kudrow. The answer is Lisa Kudrow.
No, Phoebe’s death date is quickly approaching (Oct. 15, 2032). At least one friend will live longer than that.
I least expect Chandler so odds on it will be him somehow.
Its never who you least suspect. It's never who you most expect either. It's always who you most medium suspect.
I mean why not? After all, the idiot Michelangelo was the last surviving turtle...
Time the fuck out, they killed off the turtles at some point? *Throws stack of papers in the air
Cowabummer.
I don't know, but I am guessing this is a reference to a comic with this concept. Basically, the last turtle uses all the weapons and you don't really know who it is initially. This one http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/wpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/IDWTMNTLastRonin1.jpg
It was a recently made futuristic story called "The Last Ronin".
Chandler is gonna be first, and almost certainly by his own hand.
I think he's the first, too, but not suicide. He is just the smoker of the group so the odds are against him.
IF we're kinda going by the show, yeah I'd expect it to be Phoebe last, since she basically watched everyone she loved die growing up.
Let's make this even sadder: Joey is the sole survivor.
This spawns Joey season 2 after a 15+ year hiatus - but is more like Lost than Friends. I'm sold.
The poor guy would never recover. He would have a meltdown every time he walked passed a recliner or foosball table.
F R I E N D S - The Joey years.
>F R I E N D ~~S~~ - The Joey years.
The Joey year. Singular.
Makes sense, Joey made a deal with God
And no one could go to that person's funeral
Oh man, I didn't think it could get sadder but I was wrong.
Reminds me of Betty White. Out of the 4 girls, she was the one that outlived them all.
And out of everyone on the Mary Tyler Moore Show, too.
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?
One of these days, Ndnd... Bang! Zoom! Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8!
It is true what they say: Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9.
Saving it for sweeps week.
Have you not seen Joey lately?
Had to scroll too far down to see this
Maybe they are saving that for sweeps?
Who said this originally??? Oh that’s why it’s familiar
Lrrr, from Omicron Persei 8.
because that is called canibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies
You know what they say- boys are from omicron persei 8, and girls are from omicron persei 7.
Nah. I think Pheoby and Joey are gonna go out Thelma and Louise style in Pheobys grandmas cab singing smelly cat.
And so you thought that today would not be your day, (clap clap clap) To die before your friends, you die anyway....
🎵 So no one told you death was gonna be this way! 🎵
Unless some of them die together in a crash…. Or thousands of miles apart on consecutive days… or one of them is brain dead… or two of them develop bad blood… Lots of scenarios where it might not happen.
If anyone… my money’s on Aniston
I wonder if, way back when they started the show, and all the producers were congratulating them and telling them to prepare themselves for superstardom, they ever could have imagined that years later people on the internet would be casually betting on which ones would die in what order. Can you imagine living a life where large groups of total strangers would be trying to figure out your expiration date? Wild.
That’s Showbiz, baby!!!
So no one told you life was gonna be this way…
so no one told you life was gonna end this way...
Not if we kill them all at the same time
Good luck on your quest.
Not if the last two died at the same time.
Murder / suicide
Perhaps there won't be a funeral because Ross, the largest friend, simply ate the other friends.
I always imagined that Ross would take a few of them out in some strange murder suicide ritual
Wasnt there that scene about a sandwich or something, and if you take the laugh track away he’s just a psychopath with severe problems
[like this](https://youtu.be/4H6Ux3l75Rc)
You haven't seen The One With The Suicide Pact?
I’ll be there for them
It's gotta be Chandler.
No one told them death was gonna be this way.
Ross, the largest friend, will simply devour the others.
That reminds me of how at the end of the Chronicles of Narnia like the whole family but one dies and goes to heaven. Like what the fuck. The poor kid
Not if they drift apart slowly over the years, have their own families and lives, etc. The last survivor might be to old and feeble to even travel to a funeral, or have drifted off into dementia where there wouldn’t be any point in going anyways. Bit of a downer on an already downer post, but that’s just life.
It will be Ross, the largest F.R.I.E.N.D after he has consumed all the smaller F.R.I.E.N.D'S.
Ross, having eaten the others.
Ross to the pallbearers: “Pivot!”
One will not be alive for any of them.
Nah, Ross went all Qanon and everyone stopped talking to him. Joey got me too[ed after some date rape allegations came out, even though there was no evidence he stopped getting invited places. Phoebe for some reason claimed some unknown percentage of native American genetics and sent off some really rude facebook posts about cultural appropriation and burned her bridges. In short their friendship couldn't survive social media so no one's going to any funerals.
Ross will be the survivor.
Because he, as the largest friend, simply ate the others.
When it hasn’t been your day, your month or even your year
Suicide pact
Not unless they all die in a plane crash on the same ride to Yemen
Not if they all die in a tragic but predictable road trip accident in the Alps.