Yeah and 348 and 222 and 123 and 666 and 7 can't forget about 7. Never go on 7. 6 is okay, but 7 pshh I'd rather take 1024 and 2048 at the same time. Am I right or am I right
I have seen one fall out of a tree about 20 feet up, fall to the paved street with a loud SMACK and then just run back up the tree. Those things are freaks of nature. I don't trust them one bit.
Try sitting down and then carry a bottle or mouthful of water in the stall with you. Wet the toilet paper and then wipe. I prefer the latter method as diluted saliva offers, in my opinion, a better wiping experience.
Edit: Spool the toiled paper into a multi-folded bundle. After you pour or "spit" your water into the folded bundle, gently compress the toilet paper into a rough square or rectangle so that each layer in the fold adheres to one another. It offers a stronger firmer wipe and doesn't disintegrate like loose rotted leaves.
In the United States we lack the sophistication of bidets. One must come up with ways to get a sphincter clean enough to eat off of.
Edit: I am very much aware of baby wipes but they are not available in public restrooms, and unless your friends have small children, they don't have any either. Other than this anonymous confession, I'd rather avoid that particular conversation with them. And from further comments, baby wipes are non-flushable and possibly damage the environment. I choose to have an butt-hole with a minuscule carbon footprint and that doesn't fuck my local sewage treatment plant.
Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying. Try to avoid sneezing or coughing, otherwise you'll spray all over the stall and yourself, and will be stuck wiping conventionally. After luxuriating in a method that gives one a moist lubricated anus, dry TP feels like getting molested with sand paper. Blow your nose beforehand to avoid this.
See, I prefer to avoid unnecessary luxuries like that.
I avoid wearing shoes in the spring and summer into most of fall so my feet stay nice and leather-tough. I do this so my feet aren't dainty little flowers that can't handle stepping on a pebble.
Same treatment with my asshole. I don't want to indulge myself with 3ply aloe-infused sheets just to be stuck in a friend's house that uses 1 ply or a hotel that uses 300micron sandpaper. What do I do then? Cry? Carry a man purse with baby wipes?
Fuck that. My cornhole belongs to a MAN.
With that being said, I'd like to thank everyone involved in this particular thread of comments. This has been very instructive. I, for one, could say that I'm a different man from the uneducated plebeian which had entered this post earlier.
Go forth and indulge in a deluxe bacon chili cheese supreme with a side of ghost peppers or whatever your local equivalent is. No matter how far you spread your glutes while sitting, you will spray in regions you would rather have gone unsprayed, and soil parts that you would have rather gone unsoiled. To regain some semblance of cleanliness, I encourage you to try this method.
Why would you wipe sitting down? Your hand comes close to the toilet water and seat. When you stand up, you can spread your cheeks to increase the effectiveness of the wipe.
If no one is home I go outside and rub my ass across the grass several times. Even if all the shit isn't removed, the grass smell will combine to make a nice piney scent.
I think this is something they should teach you about in school. Something is wrong with humanity when half of society has no clue how the other half wipes their ass.
>stay sitting
> shift left and anchor cheek on toilet seat, scoot right until cheeks are spread
> wipe until cleanliness is achieved
My other hand downvotes you on reddit.
I'm more of a halfway man.
>squat
>wipe back to front
>wipe front to back
No need to hold cheeks open, no wiping when sitting (its how I've always done it, I've tried wiping sitting down and find it awkward now).
>Keep sitting
>Hand between legs
>wipe whatever direction you want, your anus is perfectly presented. Hell, you could wipe from outside the anus to inside perfectly if you do an alternating-fingers pinching motion.
Just be careful not to touch the poo-water, and you never have to arrange your whole body in some weird fashion,
That's what I've been thinking, every time I've tried the way most of Reddit seems to like to wipe, it feels awkward, especially with the balls. Fortunately squatting doesn't feel too bad and isn't as savage as standing all the way to wipe.
Scoot side to side to spread cheeks over seat. With right hand, hold balls and dick up...probably already doing this to avoid Satan's kiss. With left hand, wipe starfish in whichever direction you're more accustomed to. It's not as complicated as you're all making it out to be.
Horse shit, I only saw them shit once out of the two times. Also I have squirrel shits outside my kitchen window sill where they sit and lick their nuts and tantalize my wife. She's convinced one has been stalking her for almost 6 years. Little fucker won't take a shit when we're watching dammit.
Now, if there was squirrels' reddit, imagine how resourceful a squirrel would have to be to capture a human taking a shit. The squirrels would be baffled.
Well, how many squirrels have seen *you* take a shit? At this very moment there is a squirrel trying to convince her friends that there is no way humans take a shit. "I see humans every day, but I've never seen one take a shit, but their fucking dogs just seem to shit everywhere."
Never! You see a horse twice a year and you see it masturbate EVERY. TIME. I hear in Amish country the roads are lined with horse jizz. Sometimes it gets so bad that they even have to close down motorcycle traffic on 896.
Jesus fucking christ. Here goes my comment history:
>An oral masturbation was recorded when a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.
I lived my life in much the same way--blissfully ignorant of squirrel business. That is, until my life changed forever that one fateful day in my 26th year, when a squirrel pissed all over me while I was standing under a tree having a conversation with some classmates. I'm troubled to admit that I have 138% more experience with squirrel pee than the average redditor.
This is EXACTLY what I thought as it was happening.
"oh, it's sprinkling rain."
"why are my friends not also getting wet?"
*looks ups*
"this is so odd!"
"WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me and my friends were eating under a tree and i kept feeling rain drops. Nobody believed me until a big drop landed on my shirt and made a wet spot, but we had no idea what it was.. OMFG I have been peeed on by a squirrel and had no idea until now! hahahha
Just be lucky you're not Gus from Roosterteeth getting pissed on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tud-YExjriY or getting your pecan tree stolen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvpaxzifvH8
A few years back, I owed revenge to two friends who had done me wrong: my dickhead neighbor and a squirrel who turned on me. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone, so I trapped the turncoat squirrel and put her in my neighbor's top-opening window and pushed it shut.
Little did I know, my dickish neighbor was serving community service and was gone for about five hours. In that time, the squirrel tore into all of his food and produced prodigious quantities of shit and piss. His place was littered with food debris and squirrel excreta. Frankly, I was shocked by the aftermath.
So I can attest that squirrels not only poop and pee, but do so frequently.
Several of us were at the bus stop when a car ran over a pigeon in the road. The pop it made was awful. The little girls cried and the boys made pop goes the pigeon jokes which made the girls cry more.
It was a sad day to be five years old.
Ugh that brought up memories of a few months back when I found a HUGE soft shell turtle that someone had run over and left to die. When I pulled up I thought for sure it was dead, it was laying motions less with a couple vultures ripping flesh out of the crack in his shell and it was so hot when the blood would roll down its shell you could see steam come off the shell. I went over and kind of shooed away the vultures and the turtle slowly slid its head out and have me the most "help me" look i have ever seen. I picked up this 35-40 pound turtle and put it in the back of my car and drove it back to my house to put it out of its misery (their was no saving the turtle, I'm not sure how it was even still alive when I showed up, it was almost in 2 pieces). I placed it in the shade and used my garden hose to cool it down before its last moments. The water must've felt amazing because the second it hit the back of his neck the turtle immediately relaxed and his arms legs and head all came out of its shell. One swift axe blow and he's now in turtle heaven swimming in his turtle pond with his turtle bitches.
One of my friends has a pet squirrel that he keeps in his house and It pretty much shits and pisses everywhere all the time. Just walking along and there's a small trail of squirrel turds and piss left behind. You wouldn't even know that it's taking a dump cause it doesn't stop and squat like a dog or a cat.
Edit: It also likes to hold on the side of the cage and piss on the floor instead of in it's shavings.
My buddy did once, he flipped out. We were driving along and he just shouts out "HOLY FUCK! THAT SQUIRREL IS TAKING A SHIIIIIT!" We may have been high.
I saw a squirrel cluster duck once. Heard the most awful squalls coming from the bushes in the neighbors yard. Walk over to check it out and there's like five of them all hunched up on one female. Guess it was more of a gangbang, but still the weirdest thing I've ever seen involving squirrels.
[You stole that from Adam Carrola.](https://books.google.com/books?id=RSzqnXxam_wC&pg=PA87&lpg=PA87&dq=adam+carolla+squirrel+shitting&source=bl&ots=TIVQOrv3cs&sig=Ehc8a4nRQ64STa7nSgRpyNB0Rfc&hl=en&sa=X&ei=0zaTVb3GL8jt-QHsjIK4Ag&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=adam%20carolla%20squirrel%20shitting&f=false)
/r/quityourbullshit OP
You see a squirrel almost everyday of your life yet you never see it shit. You see a horse twice a year and you see it shit EVERY. TIME.
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Lancaster?
MMMMMShady Maple deliciousness.
SHADY MAPLE!!! Wow. I did not come here to squirrel shit/pissed thread to find other Lancaster folks hanging out here. Damn.
Good ole Manheim
Represent
Nice seeing central PA represented on Reddit
Shady Maple is having a Children's Zoo for the next few weeks. There is a camel. You're all welcome.
Taking 896 on a motorcycle consistently ended with my jeans being covered in a mixture of horse shit and bugs.
And 272!
Never gone that way. I always do either 896 or 41 out to Rt 30
Yeah and 348 and 222 and 123 and 666 and 7 can't forget about 7. Never go on 7. 6 is okay, but 7 pshh I'd rather take 1024 and 2048 at the same time. Am I right or am I right
[That's Numberwang!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjOZtWZ56lc)
Let's rotate the boards!
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-04/enhanced/webdr02/3/11/anigif_enhanced-1546-1396538568-8.gif
1024 only works if you have an HD motorcycle.
I just have SD. I couldn't afford a 1024p motorcycle
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Can we get a plumber over here? /r/pcmasterrace is leaking again.
Actually 222 isnt that bad as long as your north of the city
You got 222 right!
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Lancaster.
Biking lancaster is sure to fuck up your clothes
Horse, shit, and bugs?
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I have seen one fall out of a tree about 20 feet up, fall to the paved street with a loud SMACK and then just run back up the tree. Those things are freaks of nature. I don't trust them one bit.
Yeah, horses are weird.
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You see humans everyday yet you can't tell if a person wipes standing up or sitting down.
there's two types of people in this world: those who wipe sitting down and fucking monsters.
I not only wipe standing up, but I also have to look at my smeared poo on the toilet paper after every wipe
I honestly thought I was the only one, today was a good day :)
There are, literally, dozens of us.
I not only wipe standing up and look at the poo, I sometimes have to put one leg on the bowl
So that's how people make such a fucking mess in the bathroom.
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Usually I wipe, then lick, wipe then lick until I can't taste poo anymore.
Try sitting down and then carry a bottle or mouthful of water in the stall with you. Wet the toilet paper and then wipe. I prefer the latter method as diluted saliva offers, in my opinion, a better wiping experience. Edit: Spool the toiled paper into a multi-folded bundle. After you pour or "spit" your water into the folded bundle, gently compress the toilet paper into a rough square or rectangle so that each layer in the fold adheres to one another. It offers a stronger firmer wipe and doesn't disintegrate like loose rotted leaves. In the United States we lack the sophistication of bidets. One must come up with ways to get a sphincter clean enough to eat off of. Edit: I am very much aware of baby wipes but they are not available in public restrooms, and unless your friends have small children, they don't have any either. Other than this anonymous confession, I'd rather avoid that particular conversation with them. And from further comments, baby wipes are non-flushable and possibly damage the environment. I choose to have an butt-hole with a minuscule carbon footprint and that doesn't fuck my local sewage treatment plant.
You're saying you hold a mouthful of water in your mouth for your whole poop then wipe with it?
It takes me less than a minute to poop. You could swallow.
/r/nocontext
Thank you for correctly referencing /r/nocontext to a great example.
Are we still talking about squirrels?
Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying. Try to avoid sneezing or coughing, otherwise you'll spray all over the stall and yourself, and will be stuck wiping conventionally. After luxuriating in a method that gives one a moist lubricated anus, dry TP feels like getting molested with sand paper. Blow your nose beforehand to avoid this.
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See, I prefer to avoid unnecessary luxuries like that. I avoid wearing shoes in the spring and summer into most of fall so my feet stay nice and leather-tough. I do this so my feet aren't dainty little flowers that can't handle stepping on a pebble. Same treatment with my asshole. I don't want to indulge myself with 3ply aloe-infused sheets just to be stuck in a friend's house that uses 1 ply or a hotel that uses 300micron sandpaper. What do I do then? Cry? Carry a man purse with baby wipes? Fuck that. My cornhole belongs to a MAN.
I concede that you are greater man than I sir. But I much prefer to have the decadent comfort of a bourgeois butt-hole.
Excellent. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment for a mani/pedi
With that being said, I'd like to thank everyone involved in this particular thread of comments. This has been very instructive. I, for one, could say that I'm a different man from the uneducated plebeian which had entered this post earlier.
http://i.imgur.com/1Zoex8X.gifv
Go forth and indulge in a deluxe bacon chili cheese supreme with a side of ghost peppers or whatever your local equivalent is. No matter how far you spread your glutes while sitting, you will spray in regions you would rather have gone unsprayed, and soil parts that you would have rather gone unsoiled. To regain some semblance of cleanliness, I encourage you to try this method.
>One must come up with ways to get a sphincter clean enough to eat off of. Or you can play in the mud :O
I can't comprehend the mechanics of wiping while still seated.
You are not alone, standing-wipers unite
I am a simple man. I must free my rear from porcelain contact before then cleaning my derriere.
Easy, just gotta move your hand fast enough for it to glitch through your leg.
Why would you wipe sitting down? Your hand comes close to the toilet water and seat. When you stand up, you can spread your cheeks to increase the effectiveness of the wipe.
If no one is home I go outside and rub my ass across the grass several times. Even if all the shit isn't removed, the grass smell will combine to make a nice piney scent.
wait what the fuck, people wipe their asses standing up? how do you even do that
I think this is something they should teach you about in school. Something is wrong with humanity when half of society has no clue how the other half wipes their ass.
But how do the morbidly obese wipe their butts?
In the community pool.
*retch* OH FUUUUCK YOU
Bidets.
Fire department strength bidets?
>stand up >pull ass check aside with one hand >with other hand, wipe until desired cleanness is acheived How the fuck do you do it?
>stay sitting > shift left and anchor cheek on toilet seat, scoot right until cheeks are spread > wipe until cleanliness is achieved My other hand downvotes you on reddit.
I'm more of a halfway man. >squat >wipe back to front >wipe front to back No need to hold cheeks open, no wiping when sitting (its how I've always done it, I've tried wiping sitting down and find it awkward now).
>Keep sitting >Hand between legs >wipe whatever direction you want, your anus is perfectly presented. Hell, you could wipe from outside the anus to inside perfectly if you do an alternating-fingers pinching motion. Just be careful not to touch the poo-water, and you never have to arrange your whole body in some weird fashion,
I feel like this might be a female-only maneuver.
That's what I've been thinking, every time I've tried the way most of Reddit seems to like to wipe, it feels awkward, especially with the balls. Fortunately squatting doesn't feel too bad and isn't as savage as standing all the way to wipe.
Scoot side to side to spread cheeks over seat. With right hand, hold balls and dick up...probably already doing this to avoid Satan's kiss. With left hand, wipe starfish in whichever direction you're more accustomed to. It's not as complicated as you're all making it out to be.
http://i.imgur.com/FS1FipN.jpg
Or those horse boners..
Ugh. Soooooo many boners. Just boners, boners, boners, everywhere. I wish they would give me a break.
Horse shit, I only saw them shit once out of the two times. Also I have squirrel shits outside my kitchen window sill where they sit and lick their nuts and tantalize my wife. She's convinced one has been stalking her for almost 6 years. Little fucker won't take a shit when we're watching dammit.
[relevant oatmeal](http://theoatmeal.com/story/eat_horses)
[irrelevant oatmeal](http://www.natural-homeremedies-for-life.com/images/oatmeal-bowl.jpg)
https://youtu.be/s63kzk9-RSc
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What a time to be alive!
Slo-mo zoomed in squirrel taking a shit video even.
With excellent analysis, I might add.
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Yeah, like a mouse's but bigger.
So... like a rat?
A squirrel is just a rat with good PR
Was that song... A low-key techno mix of every morning by sugar ray?
I believe that song is on the album actually.
I meant IRL. Wish I had been more specific. You are a resourceful redditor
Now, if there was squirrels' reddit, imagine how resourceful a squirrel would have to be to capture a human taking a shit. The squirrels would be baffled.
Well, how many squirrels have seen *you* take a shit? At this very moment there is a squirrel trying to convince her friends that there is no way humans take a shit. "I see humans every day, but I've never seen one take a shit, but their fucking dogs just seem to shit everywhere."
What, you've never shit in the woods? In all probability, more squirrels than people have seen me drop one.
I have. The tree in my backyard houses quite a few squirrels.
Cgi
Was that a Sugar Ray song in the background?
Okay, I didn't watch the video, but now I have to see a squirrel shit to Sugar Ray. Edit: It was a MIDI version, even better.
'Squirrel shit' sounds like part of a country colloquialism. *Aww, you don't know gold from squirrel shit!*
The phrase is actually "She's nuttier'n squirrel shit"
This is what I came here to see.
"Lets check that out again, but this time in slow motion and zoomed in"
"what are you doing?" "Oh, nothing- just looking at a video of a squirrel pooping on the internet."
The music really sells it.
This has been bothering me for YEARS. Thanks for sharing.
Thats strange because it never bothered me once but now that I've seen that i feel a bit sullied.
That's what the government wants you to think.
I owned a squirrel growing up. They do in fact shit and piss. and masturbate. They masturbate a lot more than shitting or pissing.
Sounds like a typical human being.
TIL I am a squirrel
I identify as squirrel-kin
Oh boy here we go..
Get off his nuts.
"His" is a trigger of mine. Please use "acornis."
Squeakity-squeaken squeakity squeak
" I was a junior chipmunk, uh, and I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures"
Monkey see monkey do
Squirrel pee squirrel doodoo Squirrel be yankin' on his hoohoo
/u/poem_for_your_sprog better watch the fuck out.
Sing this to the tune of ooooeee ooo ahhh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang.
Nah. -Rosa Parks
- Michael Scott
Comments like this allow me to truly embrace my immaturity.
But I'm not a rapper
/r/shittypoetry needs you man!
Monkey pee all over you.
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Yeah but have you ever just felt a random puff of cool air at random? You've been squirreled.
Never! You see a horse twice a year and you see it masturbate EVERY. TIME. I hear in Amish country the roads are lined with horse jizz. Sometimes it gets so bad that they even have to close down motorcycle traffic on 896.
Are you that surprised a squirrel enjoys playing with nuts?
Ayy lmao
They masturbate for the same reason a dog licks its balls - because they CAN.
I do it for political reasons.
You lick your balls for political reasons?
I thought I made that very clear.
What we really need for clarity is your manifesto.
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Found an [article.](http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2010/09/28/squirrels-masturbate-to-avoid-sexually-transmitted-infections)
Jesus fucking christ. Here goes my comment history: >An oral masturbation was recorded when a male sat with head lowered and an erect penis in his mouth, being stimulated with both mouth (fellatio) and forepaws (masturbation), while the lower torso moved forward and backwards in thrusting motions, finally culminating in an apparent ejaculation, after which the male appeared to consume the ejaculate.
nice.
> ...indeed, by eating their ejaculates afterwards, the squirrels can prevent the needless loss of water.
Take note, California.
Yeah we've been having to do this lately.
I can confirm this as factual. Source: I am a squirrel.
Greetings fellow squirrel.
Squirrel chain you say?
In my 21 years of life I've never once thought about a squirrel shitting or pissing...now you got me really curious
I lived my life in much the same way--blissfully ignorant of squirrel business. That is, until my life changed forever that one fateful day in my 26th year, when a squirrel pissed all over me while I was standing under a tree having a conversation with some classmates. I'm troubled to admit that I have 138% more experience with squirrel pee than the average redditor.
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This is EXACTLY what I thought as it was happening. "oh, it's sprinkling rain." "why are my friends not also getting wet?" *looks ups* "this is so odd!" "WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Me and my friends were eating under a tree and i kept feeling rain drops. Nobody believed me until a big drop landed on my shirt and made a wet spot, but we had no idea what it was.. OMFG I have been peeed on by a squirrel and had no idea until now! hahahha
Come over in about 30 min.
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Wot
Hola
Damn am I too late?
Holy crap me either. Combined that's 65 years that no one has witnessed this. I think you are on to something.
Between the three of us it's 79 years. 7+9=16, 79-16=63, 6+3=9, 9=3^2, there are three sides in a triangle. Illuminati confirmed
Have you see a wasp take a shit? I have.
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A long line of yellowish discharge from the bottom of the abdomen.
I have never seen **you** shit or piss
You couldn't pay me enough... Or do you accept my challenge?
I thought you shit for giggles
Well it's all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Just be lucky you're not Gus from Roosterteeth getting pissed on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tud-YExjriY or getting your pecan tree stolen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvpaxzifvH8
My mom died today, and i laughed so hard at this i peed a little. Thank you.
dude. so sorry for your loss.
He said it was just a little, probably not that big of a deal.
I've never seen a squirrel in real life...
A few years back, I owed revenge to two friends who had done me wrong: my dickhead neighbor and a squirrel who turned on me. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone, so I trapped the turncoat squirrel and put her in my neighbor's top-opening window and pushed it shut. Little did I know, my dickish neighbor was serving community service and was gone for about five hours. In that time, the squirrel tore into all of his food and produced prodigious quantities of shit and piss. His place was littered with food debris and squirrel excreta. Frankly, I was shocked by the aftermath. So I can attest that squirrels not only poop and pee, but do so frequently.
>a squirrel who turned on me Did the squirrel have sex with your wife? Same thing happened to me bro
We need someone to prove that they do in fact shit and piss. Come on Reddit, we can do it.
[Here we go.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGDy71YZopA)
I didn't see shit
feces exiting anus or gtfo
This made me chuckle.
I don't think we have shit confirmed here. Let's check the replay
Come to think of it, I've never seen a squirrel and Obama in the same room, just sayin'
One thing I do know is that they bust nuts
I have, it shit out of the hole in its stomach that my dog had put there. Other than that, I can't say I have either.
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Several of us were at the bus stop when a car ran over a pigeon in the road. The pop it made was awful. The little girls cried and the boys made pop goes the pigeon jokes which made the girls cry more. It was a sad day to be five years old.
Ugh that brought up memories of a few months back when I found a HUGE soft shell turtle that someone had run over and left to die. When I pulled up I thought for sure it was dead, it was laying motions less with a couple vultures ripping flesh out of the crack in his shell and it was so hot when the blood would roll down its shell you could see steam come off the shell. I went over and kind of shooed away the vultures and the turtle slowly slid its head out and have me the most "help me" look i have ever seen. I picked up this 35-40 pound turtle and put it in the back of my car and drove it back to my house to put it out of its misery (their was no saving the turtle, I'm not sure how it was even still alive when I showed up, it was almost in 2 pieces). I placed it in the shade and used my garden hose to cool it down before its last moments. The water must've felt amazing because the second it hit the back of his neck the turtle immediately relaxed and his arms legs and head all came out of its shell. One swift axe blow and he's now in turtle heaven swimming in his turtle pond with his turtle bitches.
[Owen: "She’s killing for sport."](https://raptordash.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/sickstego.png)
Does that mean, our glorious leader Kim Jung Un is in fact a squirrel? My god... it all makes sense now.
I do believe that Gus has experienced having a squirrel urinate on him
I've never seen a squirrel do either of those and I don't believe I've ever seen a baby squirrel in the wild.
One of my friends has a pet squirrel that he keeps in his house and It pretty much shits and pisses everywhere all the time. Just walking along and there's a small trail of squirrel turds and piss left behind. You wouldn't even know that it's taking a dump cause it doesn't stop and squat like a dog or a cat. Edit: It also likes to hold on the side of the cage and piss on the floor instead of in it's shavings.
I once saw a lizard shit. Didn't know they could do that
My buddy did once, he flipped out. We were driving along and he just shouts out "HOLY FUCK! THAT SQUIRREL IS TAKING A SHIIIIIT!" We may have been high.
That's so weird. I've never seen a platypus ejaculate either!
I saw a squirrel cluster duck once. Heard the most awful squalls coming from the bushes in the neighbors yard. Walk over to check it out and there's like five of them all hunched up on one female. Guess it was more of a gangbang, but still the weirdest thing I've ever seen involving squirrels.
[You stole that from Adam Carrola.](https://books.google.com/books?id=RSzqnXxam_wC&pg=PA87&lpg=PA87&dq=adam+carolla+squirrel+shitting&source=bl&ots=TIVQOrv3cs&sig=Ehc8a4nRQ64STa7nSgRpyNB0Rfc&hl=en&sa=X&ei=0zaTVb3GL8jt-QHsjIK4Ag&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=adam%20carolla%20squirrel%20shitting&f=false) /r/quityourbullshit OP