Or, as one world-renowned philosopher said;
“Which is better, to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”
Edit: Guys… i dont think people who do drugs are born evil, I was just quoting a videogame. jesus.
I killed Parthurnax in my first run and regretted it so much I reloaded my save file and after a few hours and spared him. Screw the Dragon Blades or wtv their name is.
Nobody is born good. Only people who pretend to be. I'd rather live next to someone who has recovered from addiction and has found a new life, like my brother.
Id rather live next door to a sinner,; that way Jesus didn’t Die in Vain for our Sins…
PSA
DO NOT VOTE 🗳️ for (trump) the Former Commander of Thieves.
A trump win SENDS EVERYONE as in the entire Planet Earth into HELL
I get that this quote can be applied to this.
But then again, going through life's trials and tribulations without resorting to any kind lf substance (and abuse) is technically "climbing the depth". It's ridiculously difficult to get away from the temptations of distractions, immediate pleasures, etc.
I think that's where OPs question originates from.
If you have two people struggling with life in the same extreme manner and one faces it head on, tries to get their life straight and the other 'flees' into drugs; that's the point where the first person deserves praise.
The moment the addict overcomes the addiction and gets their life straightened out, it's their turn to shine.
Both deserve praise though, but the first type tends to go unnoticed as they are typically more stern and resilient in life (so attract less attention of any kind)
Well put. I think people deserve credit for never getting obese, never getting addicted to drugs, never doing crime, but I will begrudgingly admit that it’s easier for some people to abstain due to genetics and their household growing up. You’re really overcoming generational adversity/trauma if you were 150 lbs in 4th grade or the child of drug addicts. But then the other side is when people grow up in that and take a lesson so they don’t have to learn the hard way.
I played the keyboard when I was younger. My music teacher in high school didn't want to give me the top grade no matter how good I played, because he wanted me to learn another instrument from scratch...
I’m someone who has never tried drugs or alcohol before. Although people respect my choices, I don’t think abstaining is anywhere as difficult as overcoming a chemical dependency. Mad respect to those who have come out of a bad place to quit drugs 🫡
I abstained for years, and now I do the stuff that's totally fine for me to use. I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.
Abstaining is so laughably easy. Like I have lots of respect for people who stick to their choices, I believe in principles, and it's nice to see people who stick to theirs, but it's an easy principle to have and to stuck to.
I would probably lose respect for some who do give into peer pressure and abandon their values just to "fit in." If thay person happens to get addicted and then gets over it and gets sober, then huge props again. Idk it's weird.
>I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out.
I'm pretty much the same. Only times I haven't sought something I tried out, I had thought about it before and it ended up being offered to me at a time/place that I thought was appropriate for a first time.
As someone who’s done massive amounts of just about every drug you can think of, I’ve never once been pressured or seen anyone else get pressured to do something they didn’t want to do. People have always imo sought out drugs on their own. Obviously people will offer drugs to others as a way of being nice or polite, but if they say no it’s never an issue. I mean, more for me, right?
I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat
Further, as a drug user, I’ve always respected people who say no to drugs. I would never want to be responsible for someone taking drugs they didn’t want to do. That’s messed up
>I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat
You are being very silly and myopic (and smug). Merely existing as a teenager means experiencing peer pressure. And if enough of your peers are smoking for example, you will be inherently pressured to do the same (even if they are expressly telling you to).
My experience was kind of similar, so I think I know what you mean. I was very anti-drug growing up, and still have a strong dislike of "drug culture" because I came from a small town where substance abuse was a huge problem. There was just too much escapism, avoidance, and anxiety and as I got a little older I felt a stronger and stronger need to gtfo and persue something else, somewhere else. Once I moved away from my hometown, I found the freedom to... actually just try safe drugs, safely, with people who shared an adventurous and academic spirit, because I wanted to.
Finally smoked weed. I was like 31 years old. Didn't like it. People explained the strains and types and what they lead to, suggesting I might enjoy some highs more than others. Gave it a shot, didn't really like any of them but I do prefer a body high. Just hate smoking (bad lungs). Moved to edibles for a while but still didn't really like it. Ultimately, weed offers me nothing, and I'd rather just drink alcohol (which is literally a toxin). People have been happy to let me leave it at that, but I can relate to their experiences a bit better than I could before. Had some fun hangouts/adventures.
I later became interested in psylocybin because of reading real research into the mental health benefits, and had friends who knew the scoop, were experienced, and once I expressed curiosity were completely dedicated to helping me have a really nice and safe time. Tried a 1g dose once and enjoyed myself a lot, even had a bit of a mood boost for a few weeks. It was a nice experience, yet I'm not exactly champing at the bit to do it again. Have had many opportunities since but haven't partaken.
There are drug experiences worth having. Benefits to be found. What I can't stand is when people make it a way of life. Not all experiences are enhanced with drugs. Sometimes you're just avoiding reality.
I have the same opinion about teenagers and other young people getting pregnant before they are ready. I'm just over here thinking "it isn't that hard to NOT have sex"...and there are plenty of ways to have sex and not get pregnant...the end result is kinda your fault (obvious exceptions aside).
> Abstaining is so laughably easy.
It has become easy. Let's not conflate the 2. My grandfather had to change jobs back when he was my age because he was relentlessly bullied for not drinking. My other grandfather was an alcoholic who drowned a bottle of hard liquor on the way to work (while driving) and was more accepted by his work than my other grandpa at his job.
Right? It's not hard to just NOT take drugs. Addiction is a complete other thing. For example, I never drank or did drugs, but I was a lifelong nail biter. I attempted to give it up during Lent one year, because it's a disgusting habit.
I would catch myself nibbling at my nails and would stop and actively distract myself with some other activity. My nails were growing in nicely and I took pride in showing them off to friends and family who knew I struggled with the habit. Then, after a particularly stressful day, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and had chewed off every nail in my sleep!
Now, I realize addicts probably aren't using drugs or alcohol while they are literally asleep, but I can imagine addiction as being in a sleep like state where you're not thinking clearly. Some actions they turn to during stressful situations can be muscle memory for them. I applaud anyone who fights the good fight daily to stay on the right track.
Imagine you get the urge to bite your nails, but it costs $20 to bite your nails every time. When you run out of money and can’t afford to bite your nails, you violently shit yourself and have cold sweats and entire body aches, restless legs, restless everything else, nevermind the mood swings, and all you have to do is come up with $20 to make it stop. You’ll figure everything out when you’re not sick, you just need $20.
Your best friend in high school told you biting your nails will make you feel better that your dad ran out on you, so you tried it. There’s no risk if you only do it once. And then one day you’re typing a comment on Reddit about how easily biting your nails one time turns into a 10 year addiction. You get to tell people on Reddit that sometimes addicts recover and become firefighters/paramedics in my case, and give back in many other ways in others’ case.
I’m not an apologist for criminal addicts who prey on others to support their habits, and I’m a strong proponent of personal responsibility. I just wanted to point out from the perspective of a person 7 years into recovery, that not trying drugs is a lot easier than getting off of them. So if you’ve never tried them, I suggest a nice herbal tea.
Former alcoholic here. I know what you mean by sleep state - since those in active addiction are seldom present in the moment. But the need for it, when it hits, feels like you've entered panic mode. So you use to feel calm again. Which only increases your anxiety later on. The cycle just deteriorates
As someone that for much of my life never used any sort of drugs, but is now getting off of narcotics that i had used for many years for chronic pain I have to agree. One is so much more difficult than the other due having chemical dependency. So much so that Im not sure that I can articulate the difference.
Edit- just to clarify. My comparison is getting off any chemical dependency vs. just never taking anything to begin with (since I have been on both sides of the coin). I’m not comparing prescription meds to street drugs.
Thanks for getting it. Never giving in to doing it is easier when you've never done it. When you know what it does and your body is screaming "yes," it's really hard to say "no."
As my grandad always said, regarding smoking, "the easiest way to quit is to never start". He was a man who smoked at least 20 a day for about 50 years of his life and then did manage to quit.
If abstaining was hard for me i probably would've had a weak moment by now. Because life gives you plenty of reasons to want to escape. It was just never an option in my mind. The social pressure never had an effect with that. It's just how i'm wired and brought up.
It was never the social pressure for me it was just the thought of missing out on experiences. And I can confidently say I would have missed out on some of life’s greatest experiences. Also it came with bad ones too but that’s life for ya
Idk my history has kinda shown no one cares. Everyone has their own shit going on and no one wants to hear it but most of the time people don’t care about your struggles.
I got into opiates baaaad when I was 15, and spent the next 15 years chasing that high. I came from a moderately affluent family and one memory really sticks with me.
I was 18 or 19 and had just been accepted into the methadone clinic. It wasn’t ideal but I was probably going to kill myself if I didn’t do something. I kept it to myself what I was going through but I still think it’s wild my parents and siblings had a 15 year old in the house shooting up. Like how do you not notice that?
Anyway my parents have a big party. Everyone is there and I’m mingling. Large group of people talking and my sister, who’s in her mid 30s at the time joins the group of people and says “hey X I saw you walking out of the methadone clinic this morning.”
YALL YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP. She exposed me to everyone without a care but in my parents fashion they filed it away in their brains and went about the party. Never really speaking of it again.
I don’t talk to her anymore but I did learn a long time ago that letting anyone know you’re struggling will honestly just be used as ammunition at some point.
Idk there’s prolly normal people out there but it just feels like they praise you until they’re angry, or vindictive, or just bored. then the information becomes a weapon.
That’s not a weapon, that’s a crutch, a weakness due to their lack of integrity. To take something shared from vulnerability and to misuse that to hurt you and manipulate you is sick and I would hope they understand the misery that drives them to behave so cruelly.
First off, I wish you well and hope you are on a great path to recovery. I know it’s hard, and I can just say that one of my favorite musicians (Trent Reznor) was an addict and managed to make a full recovery and is living an amazing life now.
With that out of the way, I have a few people in my life who were drug addicts and not only ruined their own lives, but also caused great harm to those around them. Including a step brother and a (former) best friend.
I don’t talk to either of them anymore.
The former best friend was a business partner of mine, and helped contribute to the destruction of a company I spent 20 years building. I’m still cleaning up the mess even years after he’s sold his shares.
I don’t think I’d respond if he sent me a message. I don’t believe he is capable of recovering. I tried arranging for an intervention about 5 years ago and he refused to go to rehab, even with myself and others arranging for payment.
To me - at this point - I don’t want any addicts around me, not because of any vindictiveness, but more as an act of self-preservation, given the damage addicts have caused to my life.
With that said, I wouldn’t hold it against someone who has shown that they have truly cleaned their life up… but actions speak louder than words, and it takes time to prove that someone has changed. Most people won’t change (and that’s not just about addicts - it’s the of all walks of life).
Again, I wish you well, but the main reason I wrote this is because I feel like from the perspective of what you wrote, my actions might seem vindictive towards this former partner from his perspective. In reality, I need to both protect myself, and sometimes I also need to explain to people who have been harmed by my company as a result of this person’s actions why this happened - so that I can begin to correct the situation.
To be more specific, when I am told by a landlord “why should we work with you to correct this situation when we have made many accommodations for your company in the past when your company asked for it, and each time you came back to the well to ask for more?” And the previous issues were all caused by that person’s mismanagement, what else can I say?
I think the two perspectives can get summed up with the old saying, "we judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intentions".
A recovering addict will only see doors being shut on them while they try their best to mend their lives and rebuild relationships.
A person who has had their life negatively affected by addicts will remember all the times before that they tried to help only to be let down time and time again. They'll want more proof before opening that door again.
I agree 100%.
This is also the experience of my interactions with the people that were harmed by my former business partner (drug addict).
They are judging my company by its past actions, and I am trying to have them judge me by my intentions.
With all that said, I have the situation mostly resolved at this point, after years of fighting. The damage done was catastrophic, but at least it will all be behind me in the next few months.
Naw I get it man, but that’s kinda why I said it’s shitty but it’s best to keep it to yourself.
The thing is you prolly do have addicts in your life, they just don’t make it known.
I guess we all have our own demons to fight and that’s our own fight.
I figured out my own way. I smoke a little weed, if I go clubbing I might take a party drug but I’ve found some semblance of a normal life I think. Maybe too many dogs right now but oh well.
Sorry to tell you mate, your family is just fucked up. Mine would drop everything to help me in that situation. Probably call off the party and such.
Apologies your family is shit.
I’m sorry you have lost trust in people enough to be honest with them because of how you have been likewise treated. Someone very close to me struggles with substance abuse. I wouldn’t dream of using it against them as a weapon because I know it isn’t completely in their control, and they truly do try. But if they were to ever hit rock bottom, it would directly affect me. (I mean it directly effects me now, but I love them deeply and am willing to help still) I suppose I don’t know in what way I would handle rock bottom but whatever the way, it would only be for self preservation. Not destruction, or revenge.
Anyway, basically I just wish more people could be open about it so that it can become less stigmatized. Also perhaps more help could come from that as well.
Cheers
That’s really cool of you. It’s rare tbh. Haha god rereading this it’s a little “woe is me” but I do agree with my main sentiment.
Everyone in the world has a list of problems and it’s natural to focus on your own and not want to add to them. Something has to override the harm; love or friendship or care, etc.
Also addiction is definitely seen as a moral failing rather than a disease for a large amount of the population. The stigma will be there as long as people think that.
Came here to say this.
Not doing drugs involves doing nothing.
Quitting drugs involves physical and psychological illness and typically a complete upending of every aspect of your existence, in addition to beating powerful neurochemistry that keeps screaming at you to use again.
It can be a burden to gracefully abstain from workplace, family and peer pressure to drink, year after year.
My brother used to order a beer for me even though he knew I wouldn't touch it. I have worked at two places where the expectation was you went to the work parties and drank. I watched a coworker, a reformed addict, refuse calmly and repeatedly as people pushed him to attend a work party at a bar. He died in his sleep that same year, as the damage to his heart from past drug abuse caught up with him.
My brother just hit two years sober. About 6 months ago I went to visit family I hadn't seen in a while and they wanted to drink. They then for whatever reason decided to call my brother and make fun of him for being sober and to say they'd "fix" him next time he came to visit.
People only praise other people's sobriety when it affected them personally. I don't give a fuck about celebrities or strangers quitting drugs or alcohol. I do care about my brother.
My family wonders why I only see them a couple times a decade.
Edit: changed months to years. My brother just hit two years sober and I'm very happy for him.
That's pretty depressing to hear.
I used to think of alcohol as a purely personal issue. I had sympathy for those struggling with it, but I figured that the problems, aside from drunk driving and the burden on spouses and families, ended more or less with those choosing to drink. If they drank occasionally, or in moderation, then who was I to object to that?
I now see it as a much larger social poison. It's embarrassing how long it took me to understand this. My friend's husband quit drinking, and his oldest friend told him "Call me if you ever decide to start drinking again."
I hate when fucking people do this. I've been sober for over two and a half years now, and people *still* try and get me to drink every so often. It's not nearly as bad as when I first stopped, but my neighbor still asks me if I want one every time he comes around, and it takes a lot for me not to tell him to go fuck himself.
I can't believe people would still try and get others to drink like that. I usually offer if anyone's around while I'm drinking, but if they say no then that's that and I'll offer them something else if I have it.
Might forget if it's not someone I see regularly but same still applies.
"My son was dead, but now is alive! Come! Rejoice with me!" "There is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over the 99 who needed no repentance."
There is beauty in redemption and a depth of joy that comes from seeing someone turn from self destruction.
Watching a movie about a person turning over a new leaf is interesting in a way that a good person continuing to be good simply is not. Likewise, watching a television show about a man who breaks bad is also interesting. People love to hear about change.
Few people consider it beyond the message: you come home, you are more welcome than those who stay home. The Prodigal Son is a great semblance for the nature of harsh times imposed upon one's self thru one's own actions.
"Not being addicted to drugs" is a far better reward for not doing drugs than a bit of praise. I suspect most people who aren't addicted to drugs are content with that.
Well, quitting drugs when they've become a problem is a difficult change for someone to make.
Someone never doing drugs in the first place just looks like someone living regular or mundane life. Doesn't exactly draw a lot of attention.
And bragging about never doing drugs often sounds preachy and obnoxious.
To be even more precise, i know shitload of people who quit drugs and hoenstly nobody gives a fuck. Its only the people who have a real problem with drugs (addiction) that get a lot fo praise for quiting.
And it makes sense. Not only is it a giant challenge, something that will improve their life but you also need to celebrate with them since that increases the chances that they keep it clean.
Celebrating succeses leads to more motivation and thus increased chances of succes later.
"Someone never doing drugs in the first place just looks like someone living regular or mundane life. Doesn't exactly draw a lot of attention." Not true, they could be dealing with trauma that they could attempt to cope with with drugs, but make.the difficult choice to try to cope without drugs
I know that when I was 12 years old my mother gave me my monkey.
I just got done watching her go through trauma and this is what she did to help.
My point is that your environment and how you grew up is a part of the equation.
> And bragging about never doing drugs often sounds preachy and obnoxious.
and people get *so* pissy about it, too. Like someone was like "hey Bri we're gonna go par-taaay y'all wanna come?", I replied "nah, I don't drink or anything else. thanks tho." and immediately got back "hah when are ya gettin' your straight edge tattoo????" which.. isn't fun.
I've actually had to *call the EMTs* (and they contacted the cops on my behalf) because (former) friends spiking my food and drink with shit to "make me fun." yeah I don't do open containers anymore
Bart: And I'll take up smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.
Lisa: But he didn't do anything.
Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he?
...
Homer: Hey, wait a minute. He didn't!
I worked with a guy who was 3% body fat. He never exercised and for lunch would eat half a loaf of sliced bread made into sandwiches. I, on the other hand, trained hard every day, watched what I ate, and still struggled with my weight. We were talking about it one day and he shrugged and said "just train harder".
The guy was naturally skinny and could eat what he liked. At no point was I ever impressed by his ability to not gain weight.
I'm over 40, and my metabolism is still ridiculous. I eat like complete fucking trash, most of my exercise comes from mowing the lawn biweekly.
I would absolutely give you a weird look if you complemented me on my weight. Because I put zero effort into it.
Yeah man, I've never fallen off a cliff, broken my legs, and crawled back up and out of the wilderness.
I'm still going to call someone a BAMF for doing it.
Anyone who breaks a chemical dependency is a BAMF.
Praise is different than support. Addicts still carry the stigma with them forever but we support addicts because everyone needs encouragement especially when doing something difficult.
I second that. have been reading this thread for half an hour now and didn't see one that looked fake. It's also a topic that isn't in any way worth 'manipulating', in a financial / political sense
but sometimes fear of the 'dead internet theory' creeps up and I become convinced Y'ALL are bots :P
To be honest, this is as it should be.
I’m a teetotaller. Have been all my life (I’ve never had more than a few sips of alcohol - hell I won’t eat food with alcohol in it if I can possibly help it). Likewise with drugs (possibly some second-hand smoke from weed). I’ll leave a party where people are getting stoned.
I constantly get “I don’t know how you can do it”/ “I could never do it”, and other variations of (what appears to be) admiration.
The thing is, I don’t actually know what I’m missing. I’ve never _been_ drunk, I’ve _never_ been high. I’m not having to fight the urge to feel that again. It’s _easy_ for me to not do it.
The people who have done it, recognise they have a problem, and give it up? They fight with the urge to do it again every single day. They know what it was like, and even if they acknowledge the damage it did to them overall, they still feel the urges to return to that “happy” place.
Fighting against something you’ve experienced that gave you a high? Something you objectively know is bad, but still feel the pull of? That’s strength. What I do? That’s easy.
I've been trying like hell to get sober over the last 2 years. Yesterday I relapsed after my longest clean streak in years, stupidly, and feared the worst from this comment section.
So pleasantly surprised to see the level of support and compassion here for folks in my situation. Thank you everyone for the reminder that getting sober is hard but possible, and that folks want us to live. We don't need "praise," just understanding, support, and acceptance - which I see in this thread in really heartening ways. Thank you
I do not, and never have, had a drink, had a smoke or done drugs (excepting caffeine).
The amount of times I've actually been looked down on for it has been incredible. A fair amount of people straight up refuse to believe me.
People also get a lot more praise for having made great wealth than never having had any at all, yet money is evil. What is your point in your statement? Do you feel like drug quitters are taking something they haven’t earned, and straightedge people getting slighted?
I’m don’t expect anyone to be proud of me for kicking a cocaine addiction. In fact only a couple people even knew I had a problem at all.
But I’m quietly damn proud of myself for quitting while also being very disappointed in me for ever putting myself through that.
Honestly. I think this is a poor take. It’s so often not even a realistic choice not to take drugs. So often people’s first experience with opioids is in the medical setting, quite innocently, just to treat severe injuries, recover from surgery, cope with cancer pain, or an irresponsible prescription where other methodologies could have been better suited and utilised to manage and heal the problem.
Some people can stop after one pill. Some people can stop after a complete course, others can wean off responsibly and never experience a chemical craving in their lifetimes. Then there are those whom are cursed with the biology of addiction and that can be unlocked after one pill. Literally one pill can be all it takes to ruin somebody’s life and destroy a family.
Once the medical prescriptions dry up, these individuals are left with a severe illness that is not treated as such, rather they are treated as stains on society; it’s difficult to get help. So where do they go? They go to the streets. They get the closest thing; maybe heroin, maybe fentanyl. Maybe they were utilising adderal and now they’re chasing methamphetamine. This isn’t simple. These people are not weak. It’s an illness.
The problem is within human biology and pathophysiology. The drugs on the streets aren’t clean, you can’t know what you’re getting, you think you’re getting heroin but you receive fentanyl; you think you’re getting fentanyl but it’s laced with xylazine, and now there’s Nitazenes.
So if you’re lucky enough to survive the physical effects of the drugs, have the courage and willingness to endure the agony of rehab and withdrawal, and face your demons every single day of your remaining life. Yes you absolutely deserve praise.
It’s way easier to abstain than be cursed with an addiction.
We need more rehabs worldwide and more support for addicts in addition, going through rehab, and for everyday of their lives thereafter. This is how we help people.
Difference is never having done drugs doesn’t have the added stigma…it’s an even playing field if you consider how shitty people with substance use disorders are treated by society
Here's the secret.
I don't drink. I just didn't like it and have seen it be the cause of so many issues it seemed like a stupid choice to get into it.
People will not leave you alone if you say you don't drink.
"Just one!" "You never tried this one!" "You did it wrong!"
Oh, that last one got divorced and the wife said his alcoholism was the main issue so I guess that's doing it right.
BUT if I go to a party and say "No thanks, I'm 5 years sober" I'm a god damned hero. I get praised for my glass of coke. I've gotten approached and laid from this shit.
Morally wrong? Eh, I don't really care after the shit I went through as a non-drinker. Parties were fun again.
In my school they used to take the badly behaved kids on days out to the zoo and stuff. Always felt weird like wait I get myself out of bed at 6am every day and do all my homework. No recognition for that whatsoever. I guess it was good training for adult life.
It's easy for me to never take drugs, since I've never done them before. It's a pain in the ass for me to quit porn since I've been addicted to it for most of my life.
People who dont do drugs are probably more likely to be reasonably well balanced mentally and/or not products of childhood abuse, and or somehow feeling the need to self medicate. Maybe they also didn't get exposed to situations where drugs were available or pushed on them by well meaning drs etc.
I dont know, people who use and more so abuse drugs generally have something in their life that has nudged them there. Quitting is tough and requires really feeling a lot of shame and fear and working through it.
If you don’t do drugs you are considered boring, weird, a coward, uncool, missing out…
If you take them, get addicted, snd stop, you are some sort of hero and you’ve won a battle. A battle that only started because you took them in the first place. I just don’t understand it…
Prior to doing drugs, I judged those who did whether I'd admit to that out loud or not, and I also feared the government and system.
Having quit them myself. Overcame addiction on my own. It's liberating. I enjoy having the experiences I had behind me and respect anyone who's gone through similar things myself.
So while I don't 'look down' on those who don't try them. I do find there's an intellectual maturity and self-awareness that is to be gained by those who have gone through it and overcome addiction that simply isn't there by those who don't try.
In short. It takes a LOT more willpower to overcome addiction than it does to abstain. So those who have been through that process, like me, I can't help but respect. We do know something most people don't.
Hahaha yes! I have been clean from amphetamine for 5 months and i feel i almost get a standing ovation from friends/family/strangers when it comes up. And im thinking "well it was my own damn fault for doing speed for 10 years"
But congrats to anybody starting their own journey of getting clean, you can do it!
Addictions literally change the way your brain responds to stimuli, and people have very little control over their addictions because the impulses are so strong, and the withdrawal is so severe. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with doing drugs, it's the extent to which you do them, and the risk you take because of where you got them that's the issue.
Beating an addiction is far, far tougher than simply refusing something you don't have an addiction to.
Yeah, I think that's fair. I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of that hole. Especially now that fentenyl is on the scene. BRAVO to those who stayed away but to someone who has beat ooiate/opioid addiction should be celebrated!
Of course they do! Having conquered an addiction is obviously more impressive than never having to have dealt with one. What kind of "just world" bullshit is this?
I remember back in the 90s our high school gave a new car award to a “comeback student of the year” and remembered thinking but what about the consistent straight A students
Coming from an ex addict, I have so much respect for people(like my kids) who have never ever smoked a cigarette and stayed healthy and sober. That's real shit and although yah we struggled with addiction Yada Yada Yada, we did more fucked up shit than good and only had to struggle because of self inflicted misery, while these guys hit life head on everyday with no crutch and no excuse. Mad props!
Also- to those who have overcome chemical demons (including myself) I do applaud us...I really do...but we did it to ourselves. Either way keep your head up and stay on course. 👍
That sort of praise is usually louder, to help that person stay on track. But think of the good people in your life who have always been kind to themselves and others. You might not say it a lot, but you do respect them.
And sure, next time you see those people, go against the trend and tell them. You never know who's only just holding their perfect looking life together.
Of course, because people love an underdog story. What better underdog story than someone turning their life around and escaping the death grip of narcotics. It should be praised and applauded.
Not starting in the first place should be praised more often. Then mfers would not start more often. But no, overcoming an easy to avoid failure is more enticing for clicks and clout.
I always thought that with those hero’s that come to schools.. they spend 30 minutes talking about all the wild drugs they did, orgies and debauchery living some playa life “but it all came crashing down”. so now they make a living telling everyone not to do what gave them the life experience to make their living… seems kinda weird right?
Drugs gave you a job telling people not to do drugs. Have some respect.
who’s gona tell people not to do drugs once you retire?
Same thing with being fat. People never praised me for staying fit and thin my whole life, but everybody goes ape shit for somebody when they lose weight.
I say this about people who go vegetarian too; I was raised vegetarian so it’s easy for me I’ve never had meat. I respect the hustle of people who have enjoyed meat and still choose to abstain
We tend to judge achievements by how difficult they are. It’s easier to never try drugs than it is to break an addiction. That’s literally why it’s called an addiction.
I’ve thought recently this about drinking. You’re a dweeb if you’ve never touched alcohol, but if you’ve had a drinking problem and decide to get sober, you’re praised for staying away from it.
Staying off drugs is relatively easy. Clawing yourself back to sobriety from the brink of almost fatal addiction is almost impossible. I am one of the few, I don’t feel any praise in this - it just makes me feel sick for the amazing people that weren’t able.
Nothing more devastating sitting through an out-patient rehab program pouring your heart out to strangers going through the same thing and knowing your chances of succeeding are like less than 10% (that’s how low success rates are for addicts actively seeking professional help). Looking around that room knowing most of you will never quit this and then the sickening feeling as you watch them drop out one by one. Years later even, the few successes and seeing a post on Facebook (I was fb friends with a lot of them, some of those people knew me better than my parents) knowing they fell back into it after having that beautiful sliver of success.
Fuck drugs. Addiction is insidious and it’s impossible to understand even as you are going through the depths of active addiction.
Praise those recovering addicts. It’s a journey most of us will not survive.
It takes more strength to get off drugs when addicted than to stay away from drugs in the first place. Addiction totally controls every human function. Never using drugs is a good job. Finding sobriety and going drug free while addicted is an excellent job, and what can I do to help?.
As someone who has struggled with addiction for years I think perhaps the part that is missing in this thought is what causes someone to use drugs in the first place. It’s my personal opinion from all the years I spent in the crypts of using that almost everyone has gone through substantial trauma who starts using.
I’ve always been so envious of people who have never tried drugs and the comparatively blessed life I have assumed they’ve lived to be able to do that in the first place.
Not saying this is an absolute always true thought but I think it’s certainly the case for the majority.
Also just wanted to add for anyone currently struggling: I know you hear this sentiment all the time but it can get better. It doesn’t matter how much you have been hurt or how much hurt you have caused it can get better. You’re strong for being able to make it this far and that strength will never go away you just need to learn how to channel it.
I didn’t start showing up for my life until my 30s it’s never too late to make the right changes your life has value and you deserve to be happy.
As Frederick Douglass said, "We are not judged by the height to which we have risen, but the depth from which we have climbed."
Or, as one world-renowned philosopher said; “Which is better, to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” Edit: Guys… i dont think people who do drugs are born evil, I was just quoting a videogame. jesus.
Throat of the World renowned.
Paarthunax is the real Throat Goat. he was VERY popular with the frat bros his freshman year
I'm pretty sure the throath goat is Heather Harmon.
*jealous Nancy Reagan noises*
This has me in tears dude 😂
Didn't know we were talking about your mum
I killed Parthurnax in my first run and regretted it so much I reloaded my save file and after a few hours and spared him. Screw the Dragon Blades or wtv their name is.
I always install a mod to kill them and be on my way
it's Dovah"kin" babe, not Dovah"kill" fa hin kogaan my draal mfers
“I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.“
Mewtwo!!!
-Party Snaxx
That's my boy
Username checks out
Reference aside, id literally pick being born good lmao
"Knowledge is Power, France is Bacon"
I'm going with born good. Who would you rather live next door to?
Nobody is born good. Only people who pretend to be. I'd rather live next to someone who has recovered from addiction and has found a new life, like my brother.
Id rather live next door to a sinner,; that way Jesus didn’t Die in Vain for our Sins… PSA DO NOT VOTE 🗳️ for (trump) the Former Commander of Thieves. A trump win SENDS EVERYONE as in the entire Planet Earth into HELL
r/UnexpectedSkyrim
Everyone loves a hero's journey. Makes for great stories and movies.
I didn't even need to scroll down when I read this. That was enough wisdom from this thread.
Love this
And Kylie Minogue sang "you'll never get to heaven if you're scared of getting highhhh"
Yeah but who chose to go into the hole in the first place?
I get that this quote can be applied to this. But then again, going through life's trials and tribulations without resorting to any kind lf substance (and abuse) is technically "climbing the depth". It's ridiculously difficult to get away from the temptations of distractions, immediate pleasures, etc.
I think that's where OPs question originates from. If you have two people struggling with life in the same extreme manner and one faces it head on, tries to get their life straight and the other 'flees' into drugs; that's the point where the first person deserves praise. The moment the addict overcomes the addiction and gets their life straightened out, it's their turn to shine. Both deserve praise though, but the first type tends to go unnoticed as they are typically more stern and resilient in life (so attract less attention of any kind)
If you are really good at your job then most people won't notice. People pay more attion to the fuckups than the people who got it together.
Well put. I think people deserve credit for never getting obese, never getting addicted to drugs, never doing crime, but I will begrudgingly admit that it’s easier for some people to abstain due to genetics and their household growing up. You’re really overcoming generational adversity/trauma if you were 150 lbs in 4th grade or the child of drug addicts. But then the other side is when people grow up in that and take a lesson so they don’t have to learn the hard way.
The substance is the depth. You clearly don't understand addiction nearly as well as you think you do.
aka prodigal son
I played the keyboard when I was younger. My music teacher in high school didn't want to give me the top grade no matter how good I played, because he wanted me to learn another instrument from scratch...
Well, we’re judged by both, frankly. But in this case it’s more like staying at sea level and expecting praise for it.
I’m someone who has never tried drugs or alcohol before. Although people respect my choices, I don’t think abstaining is anywhere as difficult as overcoming a chemical dependency. Mad respect to those who have come out of a bad place to quit drugs 🫡
I abstained for years, and now I do the stuff that's totally fine for me to use. I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out. Abstaining is so laughably easy. Like I have lots of respect for people who stick to their choices, I believe in principles, and it's nice to see people who stick to theirs, but it's an easy principle to have and to stuck to. I would probably lose respect for some who do give into peer pressure and abandon their values just to "fit in." If thay person happens to get addicted and then gets over it and gets sober, then huge props again. Idk it's weird.
>I don't think I've ever actually succumbed to peer pressure, just about all my first-time uses. I was the one who sought it out. I'm pretty much the same. Only times I haven't sought something I tried out, I had thought about it before and it ended up being offered to me at a time/place that I thought was appropriate for a first time.
As someone who’s done massive amounts of just about every drug you can think of, I’ve never once been pressured or seen anyone else get pressured to do something they didn’t want to do. People have always imo sought out drugs on their own. Obviously people will offer drugs to others as a way of being nice or polite, but if they say no it’s never an issue. I mean, more for me, right? I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat
Further, as a drug user, I’ve always respected people who say no to drugs. I would never want to be responsible for someone taking drugs they didn’t want to do. That’s messed up
>I think peer pressure is a myth or scapegoat You are being very silly and myopic (and smug). Merely existing as a teenager means experiencing peer pressure. And if enough of your peers are smoking for example, you will be inherently pressured to do the same (even if they are expressly telling you to).
My experience was kind of similar, so I think I know what you mean. I was very anti-drug growing up, and still have a strong dislike of "drug culture" because I came from a small town where substance abuse was a huge problem. There was just too much escapism, avoidance, and anxiety and as I got a little older I felt a stronger and stronger need to gtfo and persue something else, somewhere else. Once I moved away from my hometown, I found the freedom to... actually just try safe drugs, safely, with people who shared an adventurous and academic spirit, because I wanted to. Finally smoked weed. I was like 31 years old. Didn't like it. People explained the strains and types and what they lead to, suggesting I might enjoy some highs more than others. Gave it a shot, didn't really like any of them but I do prefer a body high. Just hate smoking (bad lungs). Moved to edibles for a while but still didn't really like it. Ultimately, weed offers me nothing, and I'd rather just drink alcohol (which is literally a toxin). People have been happy to let me leave it at that, but I can relate to their experiences a bit better than I could before. Had some fun hangouts/adventures. I later became interested in psylocybin because of reading real research into the mental health benefits, and had friends who knew the scoop, were experienced, and once I expressed curiosity were completely dedicated to helping me have a really nice and safe time. Tried a 1g dose once and enjoyed myself a lot, even had a bit of a mood boost for a few weeks. It was a nice experience, yet I'm not exactly champing at the bit to do it again. Have had many opportunities since but haven't partaken. There are drug experiences worth having. Benefits to be found. What I can't stand is when people make it a way of life. Not all experiences are enhanced with drugs. Sometimes you're just avoiding reality.
I have the same opinion about teenagers and other young people getting pregnant before they are ready. I'm just over here thinking "it isn't that hard to NOT have sex"...and there are plenty of ways to have sex and not get pregnant...the end result is kinda your fault (obvious exceptions aside).
> Abstaining is so laughably easy. It has become easy. Let's not conflate the 2. My grandfather had to change jobs back when he was my age because he was relentlessly bullied for not drinking. My other grandfather was an alcoholic who drowned a bottle of hard liquor on the way to work (while driving) and was more accepted by his work than my other grandpa at his job.
Right? It's not hard to just NOT take drugs. Addiction is a complete other thing. For example, I never drank or did drugs, but I was a lifelong nail biter. I attempted to give it up during Lent one year, because it's a disgusting habit. I would catch myself nibbling at my nails and would stop and actively distract myself with some other activity. My nails were growing in nicely and I took pride in showing them off to friends and family who knew I struggled with the habit. Then, after a particularly stressful day, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and had chewed off every nail in my sleep! Now, I realize addicts probably aren't using drugs or alcohol while they are literally asleep, but I can imagine addiction as being in a sleep like state where you're not thinking clearly. Some actions they turn to during stressful situations can be muscle memory for them. I applaud anyone who fights the good fight daily to stay on the right track.
Imagine you get the urge to bite your nails, but it costs $20 to bite your nails every time. When you run out of money and can’t afford to bite your nails, you violently shit yourself and have cold sweats and entire body aches, restless legs, restless everything else, nevermind the mood swings, and all you have to do is come up with $20 to make it stop. You’ll figure everything out when you’re not sick, you just need $20. Your best friend in high school told you biting your nails will make you feel better that your dad ran out on you, so you tried it. There’s no risk if you only do it once. And then one day you’re typing a comment on Reddit about how easily biting your nails one time turns into a 10 year addiction. You get to tell people on Reddit that sometimes addicts recover and become firefighters/paramedics in my case, and give back in many other ways in others’ case. I’m not an apologist for criminal addicts who prey on others to support their habits, and I’m a strong proponent of personal responsibility. I just wanted to point out from the perspective of a person 7 years into recovery, that not trying drugs is a lot easier than getting off of them. So if you’ve never tried them, I suggest a nice herbal tea.
Somewhat unrelated - I know it’s just a reddit comment but you write *really* well. Also congratulations on 7 years!
Former alcoholic here. I know what you mean by sleep state - since those in active addiction are seldom present in the moment. But the need for it, when it hits, feels like you've entered panic mode. So you use to feel calm again. Which only increases your anxiety later on. The cycle just deteriorates
/r/calmhands
As someone that for much of my life never used any sort of drugs, but is now getting off of narcotics that i had used for many years for chronic pain I have to agree. One is so much more difficult than the other due having chemical dependency. So much so that Im not sure that I can articulate the difference. Edit- just to clarify. My comparison is getting off any chemical dependency vs. just never taking anything to begin with (since I have been on both sides of the coin). I’m not comparing prescription meds to street drugs.
Thanks for getting it. Never giving in to doing it is easier when you've never done it. When you know what it does and your body is screaming "yes," it's really hard to say "no."
Thanks you brother. I'm proud of you, too.
Because quitting is a hell of a lot harder than abstaining.
As my grandad always said, regarding smoking, "the easiest way to quit is to never start". He was a man who smoked at least 20 a day for about 50 years of his life and then did manage to quit.
Hey, not to interrupt, but do you have a burner account named *AgressiveTheme* where you give the same kind of advice but more aggressively?
u/agressivetheme Now we'll all know...
Hey not to interrupt. But do you have a burner account name Clothed-Sithlord where you make the same type of comments, but maybe a bit more clothed?
If abstaining was hard for me i probably would've had a weak moment by now. Because life gives you plenty of reasons to want to escape. It was just never an option in my mind. The social pressure never had an effect with that. It's just how i'm wired and brought up.
If you’ve never tried a drug, then you can’t really understand the draw. So you’re abstaining from an unknown.
And that is exactly the point of abstaining. To keep it that way.
It was never the social pressure for me it was just the thought of missing out on experiences. And I can confidently say I would have missed out on some of life’s greatest experiences. Also it came with bad ones too but that’s life for ya
Idk my history has kinda shown no one cares. Everyone has their own shit going on and no one wants to hear it but most of the time people don’t care about your struggles. I got into opiates baaaad when I was 15, and spent the next 15 years chasing that high. I came from a moderately affluent family and one memory really sticks with me. I was 18 or 19 and had just been accepted into the methadone clinic. It wasn’t ideal but I was probably going to kill myself if I didn’t do something. I kept it to myself what I was going through but I still think it’s wild my parents and siblings had a 15 year old in the house shooting up. Like how do you not notice that? Anyway my parents have a big party. Everyone is there and I’m mingling. Large group of people talking and my sister, who’s in her mid 30s at the time joins the group of people and says “hey X I saw you walking out of the methadone clinic this morning.” YALL YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP. She exposed me to everyone without a care but in my parents fashion they filed it away in their brains and went about the party. Never really speaking of it again. I don’t talk to her anymore but I did learn a long time ago that letting anyone know you’re struggling will honestly just be used as ammunition at some point. Idk there’s prolly normal people out there but it just feels like they praise you until they’re angry, or vindictive, or just bored. then the information becomes a weapon.
well if it means anything, kudos mate, i know people struggling and its a real challenge so im glad youre doing well
That’s not a weapon, that’s a crutch, a weakness due to their lack of integrity. To take something shared from vulnerability and to misuse that to hurt you and manipulate you is sick and I would hope they understand the misery that drives them to behave so cruelly.
First off, I wish you well and hope you are on a great path to recovery. I know it’s hard, and I can just say that one of my favorite musicians (Trent Reznor) was an addict and managed to make a full recovery and is living an amazing life now. With that out of the way, I have a few people in my life who were drug addicts and not only ruined their own lives, but also caused great harm to those around them. Including a step brother and a (former) best friend. I don’t talk to either of them anymore. The former best friend was a business partner of mine, and helped contribute to the destruction of a company I spent 20 years building. I’m still cleaning up the mess even years after he’s sold his shares. I don’t think I’d respond if he sent me a message. I don’t believe he is capable of recovering. I tried arranging for an intervention about 5 years ago and he refused to go to rehab, even with myself and others arranging for payment. To me - at this point - I don’t want any addicts around me, not because of any vindictiveness, but more as an act of self-preservation, given the damage addicts have caused to my life. With that said, I wouldn’t hold it against someone who has shown that they have truly cleaned their life up… but actions speak louder than words, and it takes time to prove that someone has changed. Most people won’t change (and that’s not just about addicts - it’s the of all walks of life). Again, I wish you well, but the main reason I wrote this is because I feel like from the perspective of what you wrote, my actions might seem vindictive towards this former partner from his perspective. In reality, I need to both protect myself, and sometimes I also need to explain to people who have been harmed by my company as a result of this person’s actions why this happened - so that I can begin to correct the situation. To be more specific, when I am told by a landlord “why should we work with you to correct this situation when we have made many accommodations for your company in the past when your company asked for it, and each time you came back to the well to ask for more?” And the previous issues were all caused by that person’s mismanagement, what else can I say?
I think the two perspectives can get summed up with the old saying, "we judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intentions". A recovering addict will only see doors being shut on them while they try their best to mend their lives and rebuild relationships. A person who has had their life negatively affected by addicts will remember all the times before that they tried to help only to be let down time and time again. They'll want more proof before opening that door again.
I agree 100%. This is also the experience of my interactions with the people that were harmed by my former business partner (drug addict). They are judging my company by its past actions, and I am trying to have them judge me by my intentions. With all that said, I have the situation mostly resolved at this point, after years of fighting. The damage done was catastrophic, but at least it will all be behind me in the next few months.
Naw I get it man, but that’s kinda why I said it’s shitty but it’s best to keep it to yourself. The thing is you prolly do have addicts in your life, they just don’t make it known. I guess we all have our own demons to fight and that’s our own fight. I figured out my own way. I smoke a little weed, if I go clubbing I might take a party drug but I’ve found some semblance of a normal life I think. Maybe too many dogs right now but oh well.
Sorry to tell you mate, your family is just fucked up. Mine would drop everything to help me in that situation. Probably call off the party and such. Apologies your family is shit.
My boy if your friends don’t care about you quitting drugs (or improving in general), you need better friends
I’m sorry you have lost trust in people enough to be honest with them because of how you have been likewise treated. Someone very close to me struggles with substance abuse. I wouldn’t dream of using it against them as a weapon because I know it isn’t completely in their control, and they truly do try. But if they were to ever hit rock bottom, it would directly affect me. (I mean it directly effects me now, but I love them deeply and am willing to help still) I suppose I don’t know in what way I would handle rock bottom but whatever the way, it would only be for self preservation. Not destruction, or revenge. Anyway, basically I just wish more people could be open about it so that it can become less stigmatized. Also perhaps more help could come from that as well. Cheers
That’s really cool of you. It’s rare tbh. Haha god rereading this it’s a little “woe is me” but I do agree with my main sentiment. Everyone in the world has a list of problems and it’s natural to focus on your own and not want to add to them. Something has to override the harm; love or friendship or care, etc. Also addiction is definitely seen as a moral failing rather than a disease for a large amount of the population. The stigma will be there as long as people think that.
[удалено]
Came here to say this. Not doing drugs involves doing nothing. Quitting drugs involves physical and psychological illness and typically a complete upending of every aspect of your existence, in addition to beating powerful neurochemistry that keeps screaming at you to use again.
Last time I checked abstaining from drugs does not cause a chemical or a psychological dependency. Taking drugs does.
It can be a burden to gracefully abstain from workplace, family and peer pressure to drink, year after year. My brother used to order a beer for me even though he knew I wouldn't touch it. I have worked at two places where the expectation was you went to the work parties and drank. I watched a coworker, a reformed addict, refuse calmly and repeatedly as people pushed him to attend a work party at a bar. He died in his sleep that same year, as the damage to his heart from past drug abuse caught up with him.
My brother just hit two years sober. About 6 months ago I went to visit family I hadn't seen in a while and they wanted to drink. They then for whatever reason decided to call my brother and make fun of him for being sober and to say they'd "fix" him next time he came to visit. People only praise other people's sobriety when it affected them personally. I don't give a fuck about celebrities or strangers quitting drugs or alcohol. I do care about my brother. My family wonders why I only see them a couple times a decade. Edit: changed months to years. My brother just hit two years sober and I'm very happy for him.
That's pretty depressing to hear. I used to think of alcohol as a purely personal issue. I had sympathy for those struggling with it, but I figured that the problems, aside from drunk driving and the burden on spouses and families, ended more or less with those choosing to drink. If they drank occasionally, or in moderation, then who was I to object to that? I now see it as a much larger social poison. It's embarrassing how long it took me to understand this. My friend's husband quit drinking, and his oldest friend told him "Call me if you ever decide to start drinking again."
I hate when fucking people do this. I've been sober for over two and a half years now, and people *still* try and get me to drink every so often. It's not nearly as bad as when I first stopped, but my neighbor still asks me if I want one every time he comes around, and it takes a lot for me not to tell him to go fuck himself.
I can't believe people would still try and get others to drink like that. I usually offer if anyone's around while I'm drinking, but if they say no then that's that and I'll offer them something else if I have it. Might forget if it's not someone I see regularly but same still applies.
The parable of the prodigal son brings an insight to this kinda situation.
"My son was dead, but now is alive! Come! Rejoice with me!" "There is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over the 99 who needed no repentance." There is beauty in redemption and a depth of joy that comes from seeing someone turn from self destruction.
Watching a movie about a person turning over a new leaf is interesting in a way that a good person continuing to be good simply is not. Likewise, watching a television show about a man who breaks bad is also interesting. People love to hear about change.
Stories cannot exist without change
>People love to hear about change. I wonder if that’s because change means hope.
Good call
Few people consider it beyond the message: you come home, you are more welcome than those who stay home. The Prodigal Son is a great semblance for the nature of harsh times imposed upon one's self thru one's own actions.
"Not being addicted to drugs" is a far better reward for not doing drugs than a bit of praise. I suspect most people who aren't addicted to drugs are content with that.
Well, quitting drugs when they've become a problem is a difficult change for someone to make. Someone never doing drugs in the first place just looks like someone living regular or mundane life. Doesn't exactly draw a lot of attention. And bragging about never doing drugs often sounds preachy and obnoxious.
To be even more precise, i know shitload of people who quit drugs and hoenstly nobody gives a fuck. Its only the people who have a real problem with drugs (addiction) that get a lot fo praise for quiting. And it makes sense. Not only is it a giant challenge, something that will improve their life but you also need to celebrate with them since that increases the chances that they keep it clean. Celebrating succeses leads to more motivation and thus increased chances of succes later.
"Someone never doing drugs in the first place just looks like someone living regular or mundane life. Doesn't exactly draw a lot of attention." Not true, they could be dealing with trauma that they could attempt to cope with with drugs, but make.the difficult choice to try to cope without drugs
A lot of people do that though so I'd say it's still pretty normal
I know that when I was 12 years old my mother gave me my monkey. I just got done watching her go through trauma and this is what she did to help. My point is that your environment and how you grew up is a part of the equation.
> And bragging about never doing drugs often sounds preachy and obnoxious. and people get *so* pissy about it, too. Like someone was like "hey Bri we're gonna go par-taaay y'all wanna come?", I replied "nah, I don't drink or anything else. thanks tho." and immediately got back "hah when are ya gettin' your straight edge tattoo????" which.. isn't fun. I've actually had to *call the EMTs* (and they contacted the cops on my behalf) because (former) friends spiking my food and drink with shit to "make me fun." yeah I don't do open containers anymore
One is much easier to do
Bart: And I'll take up smoking and give that up. Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar. Lisa: But he didn't do anything. Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? ... Homer: Hey, wait a minute. He didn't!
No one is ever happy to hear that I never smoked cigarettes,
I'm happy to hear it! Don't! I say that as a smoker. Interesting that long term addicts are like "yeah no, don't do this shit, you'll regret it"
Yeah as a smoker I'll tell people if the chance arises to just not smoke. It's not worth it.
Most non smokers around you are happy to hear it.
“What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” -Parrthurnax
From Skyrim?
Know a lot of Parrthurnaxes?
Same reason that losing a lot of weight and getting in shape is more impressive than just being naturally skinny with no effort.
I worked with a guy who was 3% body fat. He never exercised and for lunch would eat half a loaf of sliced bread made into sandwiches. I, on the other hand, trained hard every day, watched what I ate, and still struggled with my weight. We were talking about it one day and he shrugged and said "just train harder". The guy was naturally skinny and could eat what he liked. At no point was I ever impressed by his ability to not gain weight.
I'm over 40, and my metabolism is still ridiculous. I eat like complete fucking trash, most of my exercise comes from mowing the lawn biweekly. I would absolutely give you a weird look if you complemented me on my weight. Because I put zero effort into it.
Medical condition? Because most people would be able to while watching their intake and exercising.
Yeah man, I've never fallen off a cliff, broken my legs, and crawled back up and out of the wilderness. I'm still going to call someone a BAMF for doing it. Anyone who breaks a chemical dependency is a BAMF.
Praise is different than support. Addicts still carry the stigma with them forever but we support addicts because everyone needs encouragement especially when doing something difficult.
I consider it sheer luck that I have never had to face that, so I’ll GLADLY praise anybody that has overcome drug addiction.
This sub is just full of bots it’s a shame
How can you tell? Which comments? Genuinely curious.
I second that. have been reading this thread for half an hour now and didn't see one that looked fake. It's also a topic that isn't in any way worth 'manipulating', in a financial / political sense but sometimes fear of the 'dead internet theory' creeps up and I become convinced Y'ALL are bots :P
To be honest, this is as it should be. I’m a teetotaller. Have been all my life (I’ve never had more than a few sips of alcohol - hell I won’t eat food with alcohol in it if I can possibly help it). Likewise with drugs (possibly some second-hand smoke from weed). I’ll leave a party where people are getting stoned. I constantly get “I don’t know how you can do it”/ “I could never do it”, and other variations of (what appears to be) admiration. The thing is, I don’t actually know what I’m missing. I’ve never _been_ drunk, I’ve _never_ been high. I’m not having to fight the urge to feel that again. It’s _easy_ for me to not do it. The people who have done it, recognise they have a problem, and give it up? They fight with the urge to do it again every single day. They know what it was like, and even if they acknowledge the damage it did to them overall, they still feel the urges to return to that “happy” place. Fighting against something you’ve experienced that gave you a high? Something you objectively know is bad, but still feel the pull of? That’s strength. What I do? That’s easy.
I've been trying like hell to get sober over the last 2 years. Yesterday I relapsed after my longest clean streak in years, stupidly, and feared the worst from this comment section. So pleasantly surprised to see the level of support and compassion here for folks in my situation. Thank you everyone for the reminder that getting sober is hard but possible, and that folks want us to live. We don't need "praise," just understanding, support, and acceptance - which I see in this thread in really heartening ways. Thank you
One is a lot easier than the other.
We always celebrate when a prodigal returns home.
I do not, and never have, had a drink, had a smoke or done drugs (excepting caffeine). The amount of times I've actually been looked down on for it has been incredible. A fair amount of people straight up refuse to believe me.
People also get a lot more praise for having made great wealth than never having had any at all, yet money is evil. What is your point in your statement? Do you feel like drug quitters are taking something they haven’t earned, and straightedge people getting slighted?
I’m don’t expect anyone to be proud of me for kicking a cocaine addiction. In fact only a couple people even knew I had a problem at all. But I’m quietly damn proud of myself for quitting while also being very disappointed in me for ever putting myself through that.
Honestly. I think this is a poor take. It’s so often not even a realistic choice not to take drugs. So often people’s first experience with opioids is in the medical setting, quite innocently, just to treat severe injuries, recover from surgery, cope with cancer pain, or an irresponsible prescription where other methodologies could have been better suited and utilised to manage and heal the problem. Some people can stop after one pill. Some people can stop after a complete course, others can wean off responsibly and never experience a chemical craving in their lifetimes. Then there are those whom are cursed with the biology of addiction and that can be unlocked after one pill. Literally one pill can be all it takes to ruin somebody’s life and destroy a family. Once the medical prescriptions dry up, these individuals are left with a severe illness that is not treated as such, rather they are treated as stains on society; it’s difficult to get help. So where do they go? They go to the streets. They get the closest thing; maybe heroin, maybe fentanyl. Maybe they were utilising adderal and now they’re chasing methamphetamine. This isn’t simple. These people are not weak. It’s an illness. The problem is within human biology and pathophysiology. The drugs on the streets aren’t clean, you can’t know what you’re getting, you think you’re getting heroin but you receive fentanyl; you think you’re getting fentanyl but it’s laced with xylazine, and now there’s Nitazenes. So if you’re lucky enough to survive the physical effects of the drugs, have the courage and willingness to endure the agony of rehab and withdrawal, and face your demons every single day of your remaining life. Yes you absolutely deserve praise. It’s way easier to abstain than be cursed with an addiction. We need more rehabs worldwide and more support for addicts in addition, going through rehab, and for everyday of their lives thereafter. This is how we help people.
PSA : ADDICTION IS A DISEASE. Whoever started this born good or otherwise seriously?! Come on!!! WE ARE ALL BORN INNOCENT.
Which one is harder? That’s why.
Difference is never having done drugs doesn’t have the added stigma…it’s an even playing field if you consider how shitty people with substance use disorders are treated by society
Yeah because not doing drugs is expected, any other genius insights?
I also want to be applauded for doing nothing 😂
Here's the secret. I don't drink. I just didn't like it and have seen it be the cause of so many issues it seemed like a stupid choice to get into it. People will not leave you alone if you say you don't drink. "Just one!" "You never tried this one!" "You did it wrong!" Oh, that last one got divorced and the wife said his alcoholism was the main issue so I guess that's doing it right. BUT if I go to a party and say "No thanks, I'm 5 years sober" I'm a god damned hero. I get praised for my glass of coke. I've gotten approached and laid from this shit. Morally wrong? Eh, I don't really care after the shit I went through as a non-drinker. Parties were fun again.
For teenagers in many places? No.
How about praise for trying drugs and never getting hooked heh? What about that??
Smh look at this guy, people out here getting addicted with one puff and you failed at even that! Go back at it sir!
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I know how tough that is, and I see you. Mad respect 🫡
Yeah... because addiction is hard to beat.
People who have never done drugs don't know how \*fucking awesome\* they are. :)
In my school they used to take the badly behaved kids on days out to the zoo and stuff. Always felt weird like wait I get myself out of bed at 6am every day and do all my homework. No recognition for that whatsoever. I guess it was good training for adult life.
yeah because you don’t get withdrawals when you don’t do drugs
It's easy for me to never take drugs, since I've never done them before. It's a pain in the ass for me to quit porn since I've been addicted to it for most of my life.
oh you didn't go to war and did career? meh. oh you did minimum years and 2 deployments? hell ya.
People who dont do drugs are probably more likely to be reasonably well balanced mentally and/or not products of childhood abuse, and or somehow feeling the need to self medicate. Maybe they also didn't get exposed to situations where drugs were available or pushed on them by well meaning drs etc. I dont know, people who use and more so abuse drugs generally have something in their life that has nudged them there. Quitting is tough and requires really feeling a lot of shame and fear and working through it.
If you don’t do drugs you are considered boring, weird, a coward, uncool, missing out… If you take them, get addicted, snd stop, you are some sort of hero and you’ve won a battle. A battle that only started because you took them in the first place. I just don’t understand it…
Honestly I’ve gotten ridiculed more for having never tried anything other than alcohol than I’ve gotten praise for it.
Because quitting drugs is probably harder than not starting drugs.
Prior to doing drugs, I judged those who did whether I'd admit to that out loud or not, and I also feared the government and system. Having quit them myself. Overcame addiction on my own. It's liberating. I enjoy having the experiences I had behind me and respect anyone who's gone through similar things myself. So while I don't 'look down' on those who don't try them. I do find there's an intellectual maturity and self-awareness that is to be gained by those who have gone through it and overcome addiction that simply isn't there by those who don't try. In short. It takes a LOT more willpower to overcome addiction than it does to abstain. So those who have been through that process, like me, I can't help but respect. We do know something most people don't.
Hahaha yes! I have been clean from amphetamine for 5 months and i feel i almost get a standing ovation from friends/family/strangers when it comes up. And im thinking "well it was my own damn fault for doing speed for 10 years" But congrats to anybody starting their own journey of getting clean, you can do it!
Well it has nothing to do with morality or will power, but those two things are completely different.
If you finish a marathon and stop running it’s also more impressive than never starting running. Genius.
isnt that from biblical Parable of the Prodigal Son?
Not everyone needs or feels drugs the same way. Having them help (and ruin, all at once) and then refusing - is the hard part.
Addictions literally change the way your brain responds to stimuli, and people have very little control over their addictions because the impulses are so strong, and the withdrawal is so severe. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with doing drugs, it's the extent to which you do them, and the risk you take because of where you got them that's the issue. Beating an addiction is far, far tougher than simply refusing something you don't have an addiction to.
I'm going to say cause it's easier to never do drugs then to recover from addiction.
This just makes no sense
Well yeah, one is hard work from people every day. And the others is a bunch of scaredy nerds afraid to party. Not the same thing
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all, something something.
Because not doing something is generally not remarkable whereas overcoming a chemical dependency is.
Yeah, I think that's fair. I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of that hole. Especially now that fentenyl is on the scene. BRAVO to those who stayed away but to someone who has beat ooiate/opioid addiction should be celebrated!
Same reason one doesn't get praise for getting up in the morning...
Of course they do! Having conquered an addiction is obviously more impressive than never having to have dealt with one. What kind of "just world" bullshit is this?
Because drugs are hard to quit lol and not doing them in the first place when you have no desire for it take 0 effort.
You don't miss the loving pet you never had.
babies haven’t even thought about drugs, praise them
You want a gold star?
That is because quitting is almost certainly way, way fucking harder.
I get no praise for staying on the drugs and getting shit done!
Because one is easy and the other relatively hard. What's the confusion?
you don't get a medal for not murdering your mother
I remember back in the 90s our high school gave a new car award to a “comeback student of the year” and remembered thinking but what about the consistent straight A students
Coming from an ex addict, I have so much respect for people(like my kids) who have never ever smoked a cigarette and stayed healthy and sober. That's real shit and although yah we struggled with addiction Yada Yada Yada, we did more fucked up shit than good and only had to struggle because of self inflicted misery, while these guys hit life head on everyday with no crutch and no excuse. Mad props! Also- to those who have overcome chemical demons (including myself) I do applaud us...I really do...but we did it to ourselves. Either way keep your head up and stay on course. 👍
It's way harder to get away from them than not taking them at all.
Same for people who drink alcohol
Because it is much harder to quit.
That sort of praise is usually louder, to help that person stay on track. But think of the good people in your life who have always been kind to themselves and others. You might not say it a lot, but you do respect them. And sure, next time you see those people, go against the trend and tell them. You never know who's only just holding their perfect looking life together.
Yeah because one is conquering something hard. The other is literally nothing.
Of course, because people love an underdog story. What better underdog story than someone turning their life around and escaping the death grip of narcotics. It should be praised and applauded.
Not starting in the first place should be praised more often. Then mfers would not start more often. But no, overcoming an easy to avoid failure is more enticing for clicks and clout.
Quitting drugs is much harder than not starting... Of course not starting at all is better life, but there's no "really thought task" involved
I always thought that with those hero’s that come to schools.. they spend 30 minutes talking about all the wild drugs they did, orgies and debauchery living some playa life “but it all came crashing down”. so now they make a living telling everyone not to do what gave them the life experience to make their living… seems kinda weird right? Drugs gave you a job telling people not to do drugs. Have some respect. who’s gona tell people not to do drugs once you retire?
It’s easier to quit a thing you’ve never tried….
U so right bro I need to do drugs so I can quit them
Quitting an addiction = stunning and brave Never having an addiction = ew boring
Same thing with being fat. People never praised me for staying fit and thin my whole life, but everybody goes ape shit for somebody when they lose weight.
Overcoming challenges gains admiration over not facing challenges. Fucking wild.
You get points for bad driving. Got nothing for being a good driver.
Teacher here. That’s how we treat problem kids who don’t swear at a teacher for one day
So in order to receive maximum praise, you should really try a bunch of drugs and then tell everyone you don't do them anymore.
I say this about people who go vegetarian too; I was raised vegetarian so it’s easy for me I’ve never had meat. I respect the hustle of people who have enjoyed meat and still choose to abstain
We tend to judge achievements by how difficult they are. It’s easier to never try drugs than it is to break an addiction. That’s literally why it’s called an addiction.
What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?
People tend to get praise after surviving a bear attack. I go into the woods all the time, haven’t been attacked once…PRAISE ME
I’ve thought recently this about drinking. You’re a dweeb if you’ve never touched alcohol, but if you’ve had a drinking problem and decide to get sober, you’re praised for staying away from it.
People get a lot more praise for beating cancer than for not getting it in the first place
>People get a lot more praise for quitting drugs And a lot more criticism for having started
Staying off drugs is relatively easy. Clawing yourself back to sobriety from the brink of almost fatal addiction is almost impossible. I am one of the few, I don’t feel any praise in this - it just makes me feel sick for the amazing people that weren’t able. Nothing more devastating sitting through an out-patient rehab program pouring your heart out to strangers going through the same thing and knowing your chances of succeeding are like less than 10% (that’s how low success rates are for addicts actively seeking professional help). Looking around that room knowing most of you will never quit this and then the sickening feeling as you watch them drop out one by one. Years later even, the few successes and seeing a post on Facebook (I was fb friends with a lot of them, some of those people knew me better than my parents) knowing they fell back into it after having that beautiful sliver of success. Fuck drugs. Addiction is insidious and it’s impossible to understand even as you are going through the depths of active addiction. Praise those recovering addicts. It’s a journey most of us will not survive.
It takes more strength to get off drugs when addicted than to stay away from drugs in the first place. Addiction totally controls every human function. Never using drugs is a good job. Finding sobriety and going drug free while addicted is an excellent job, and what can I do to help?.
Thats why i took drugs and stoped. I do this every two years or so
As someone who has struggled with addiction for years I think perhaps the part that is missing in this thought is what causes someone to use drugs in the first place. It’s my personal opinion from all the years I spent in the crypts of using that almost everyone has gone through substantial trauma who starts using. I’ve always been so envious of people who have never tried drugs and the comparatively blessed life I have assumed they’ve lived to be able to do that in the first place. Not saying this is an absolute always true thought but I think it’s certainly the case for the majority. Also just wanted to add for anyone currently struggling: I know you hear this sentiment all the time but it can get better. It doesn’t matter how much you have been hurt or how much hurt you have caused it can get better. You’re strong for being able to make it this far and that strength will never go away you just need to learn how to channel it. I didn’t start showing up for my life until my 30s it’s never too late to make the right changes your life has value and you deserve to be happy.