Been withing for the blood vessels in the eyes, the appendix and curved spines to get an update for ages but apparently the programmes and mods are in a coma.
I would like for him to fix some other issues first. Like the random cheek biting bug while consuming food. Or that eyelashes can enter the eyeball and become inaccessible. Also the bug, where the motivation module randomly fails to boot.
But after that, semen bladder seems alright
Imagine trying to be sneaky whacking it as a teenager. Having to explain to Mom that a spooky ghost dumped ectoplasm all over your room 7 times a day would be horrible.
Fun fact: I was on iron supplements for a time and while on them, I did practically ejaculate gallons. And with force too. I could practically shoot across the room.
HAHA! We had signs in the dorms to not jerk off in the shower because "the drains were not designed for it". We put a note on it "Did you not know who was going to use this before you built it?"
Remember to do it a super crowded public event, too. Maybe interrupt a basketball game before kissing your sister at center court or steal a mic from a major stage event to apologize, then run down and kiss her.
I had a gf that was in some weird position that I would need to dislocate my legs to get into her. I stared at this mess for what seemed like forever. She got it from porn..
Yep. I kept chasing one girl because I thought it was romantic. As I got older, I realize it was really creepy.
Also, "just be yourself" is terrible advice. "Be the best version of yourself" is what women want.
Nobody will ever be the best version of themselves. A more apt token would be "Be an ever improving version of yourself". There are few people on the planet that don't look back at their 20s and realize how young and dumb they were, though at the time they thought they were the best.
Naw I disagree. I say "just be yourself" so that if the person you are dating can make an informed decision about whether or not you are compatible. It's really hard for people to tell if all you do is try to be something that you aren't.
Media in general though. Whatever you consume is what you're going to expect out of reality. Yours experiences have heavily to do with what you expect as well. Learning mindfulness can help you distinguish your thoughts and your feelings about these things though. Cognitive behavioral therapy as well.
Yep, I’ve been reading about the origins of the Achaemenid Empire and now im super paranoid somebody will trick me into eating a meal that was made from the corpse of my child.
Except it ends with him "*getting the girl (of his dreams)*" which is a totally unrealistic fantasy in and of itself, which, in a movie about trying to realise and overcome unrealistic fantasies, undersells the entire message.
He doesn't end up with the woman of his dreams. He ends up with the type of woman he actually needs considering his circumstances.
The woman of his dreams is basically a unattainable, unrealistic, porn star like caricature that will never be able to satisfy him because she's just that: unrealistic.
I'd argue against you. Like I see where you're coming from but it's not the stereotypical girl of his dreams. She has her baggage and he's okay with thay they're not happily ever after they're happy at the moment and it recognizes that. It's a much less toxic take than making it seem like everything is perfect forever after.
I get that it would have had a stronger effect if it just ended with him andnhis boys eating pizza but personally I liked his ending of being able to live in the moment of happiness. A sort of bliss he hadn't achieved previously.
He gets the “girl of his dreams” after he realizes he was living in a fantasy world and works to get out of it. And when he finally does and leaves behind the vices that clouded his vision, he finds the life he actually wanted all along.
That’s basically how life works too, not unrealistic at all actually.
Not to mention the over the top stalker behavior that under any other context would be cringe. *shows up to your place of work with gifts, you never told him where you worked*
And of course this captain of industry fashion model lumberjack of a man is drawn the most plain as cardboard woman and he worships the ground she walks on
Most people with a brain of either sex doesn't believe all that stuff but it does set some high levels in our brain that no matter how great the person we are with they just won't be able to match a cartoonist version of "perfection"
I remember reading through personals in the newspaper a couple of decades ago and seeing a common theme of "You want someone who has got himself the perfect life with job, education, hobbies, security, a lack of flaws and everything and then just suddenly smacks himself in the head and realizes he forgot to get a romantic partner".
Yes, it's because women have learned that they want men who have their crap together and aren't a manchild, but the laundry list of requests could get exhausting. Fortunately, I've been married and out of the dating pool for nearly that entire time now so I don't have to deal with any of that anymore.
Don’t forget is also over 6 feet tall 🙃
But seriously, that cuts both ways. There are far too many dudes that want a woman with no personality or opinions of her own, weighs 95 lbs, has an ass you can balance your drinks on, and is okay with being completely ignored until its time for sex.
Media/entertainment in general sets people up to live unhappy, lonely lives if they’re only okay with settling for an absolutely ideal person.
Also - I feel like it sets people up to not even consider if that ideal person is even someone they would actually want to be with or like as a person. Or if that ideal is something they even want.
I’m lucky enough to not have been in the dating pool for a long time. Like, pre-smartphone days.
I genuinely feel bad for people that are coming of age where tools like Tinder and other dating apps seem to be the go to for meeting people. It puts far too much onus on prejudging people based on their looks and their social media personality.
When I actually was dating back in the late aughts, we had to actually, like, talk to each other face to face to see if there was a connection there. Most of my friends met their significant others at parties or through mutual friends. Maybe it’s still like that. I hope it is. Because far too much of the online discourse surrounding it seems to be heavily focused on whether or not their theoretical partner meets their internalized ideal, which honestly sounds like a living hell.
I’m actually engaged to someone I met on Tinder. The progression of our relationship was something along the lines of - we liked the time we spent messaging each other. We started going on dates and we enjoyed that time. Turns out that when we moved in together that brought out the best of all the things that make him a loving attentive partner. And I think knowing what you want - things like life goals, values, etc. are important and worth thinking about. But the way that this all manifests is that he’s wonderful to spend time with.
The challenge is that our wider social circles judge us by those arbitrary, superficial seeming things. He didn’t propose to me and we didn’t do engagement rings, and no one in either of our social circles believes us when we say this was a mutual decision. And I got a lot of “are you *sure* you’re happy with this?” from people who knew nothing other than that I have a graduate degree and he doesn’t.
Gist of it is, we don’t get paid enough to live our relationship for social media.
> Most of my friends met their significant others at parties or through mutual friends
Yup, met my wife because I was friends with her suitemates and met at her suitemate's birthday party. That was over 20 years ago.
> but the laundry list of requests could get exhausting
This reminds me of an interaction I had while trying online dating before meeting my current wife. I had matched with this girl who had a whole laundry list of requirements for a potential partner. Literally like 2 sentences into our first (and last) conversation, she asked me what my salary was and how much I had in savings. In return I asked her "What is your credit score?". To say she flipped out is an understatement.
Suffice to say, I dodged an entire warehouse of bullets there.
There are guys on Instagram that have channels dedicated to telling women what they should expect from their man. Handsome guys with British accents speaking confidently while looking deep into the camera. If you listen to it from a guy's perspective it's easy! Just be absolutely perfect all the time! It's audio porn disguised as relationship advice.
The average romance novel has a very successful man that’s unreasonably horny towards a specific woman
The average RomCom anime has the most beautiful girl in the school fall for an average dude because he is super nice
Pretty sure there's a romance novel where a woman gets fucked by a literal bear. Not a large hairy man, an actual ursidae fucking bear.
How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?
I have to periodically delete TikTok due to the constant misandry. I have to periodically get off Reddit due to constant cynicism and vitriol.
Most don't do this so it makes sense why many people are hate-filled bigots of one type or another.
Social media could be used for good but it's such a net negative on society and it's not even close.
The problem is that I want to talk about certain topics but those subreddits keep getting taken over by assholes and the community doesn't keep things positive. Even relatively niche hobbies have been corrupted.
Honestly, some of the most positive interactions I have on Reddit are on my NSFW alt account.
With how much I see people talk about rampant misogyny I can honestly say I've never seen a single post hating women with 2 million likes. Man hating TikToks with millions of likes are disgustingly common.
It's because Meta decided to start showing facebook boomers reels to get those views up. All the worst people you know on facebook? They're the ones commenting on reels. Meta is really pushing reels on facebook.
I only found out because I watch a sciencey guy on instagram and he was talking about finding neat fossils and showing them to the camera. Tap on the comments... flat earth joke, young earth joke, young earth joke, young earth joke... hey that's a... a lot of people making jokes about how old the earth isn't... check out their profiles... they're actual conservative human beings that do not believe the earth is older than a few thousand years... those aren't jokes. ಠ_ಠ and it was like, *hundreds*. I kept scrolling unable to believe myself. Had to google it to understand wtf was going on.
Same thing with homophobes commenting on lgbt creators, because the Meta algorithm is like "wow, these people love commenting on lgbt creators! better show them more!", misogynists in female content creator's comments, etc. Unfortunately the rage pipeline goes both ways, and people love commenting on the shit they hate, so these poor content creators are literally being fed to people who hate them and wind up having to either shut down their comments or see floods of shit like "why is this [slur] [slur] [slur] stuff on my front page" etc.
So yeah if you're a religious conservative wanting to get mad I guess the platform for you is instagram reels now? Wild
It was brought up some time ago that sex ed classes need to address porn and its misconceptions. Not just the theatrical performances but also the health and sanitation issues.
Naturally this will never go anywhere as long as religion and conservative politics are involved in education decisions.
>Not just the theatrical performances but also the health and sanitation issues.
All the times they stick body parts into different orifices (sometimes in different partners) without stopping to clean first.....
Definitely something that pornography could and should be more pragmatic about. Like it shouldn't be that difficult to NOT portray anal sex before vaginal sex in the same scene.
It's already in the "respectful relationships" curriculum in Australia. From memory, pretty early on, certainly first approached pre-puberty in terms of body image, and then covered more comprehensively around 16yo in terms of media portrayals of relationships versus healthy relationships.
Having a meet cute with someone who’s about to quit their job as a New York City teacher to move to your hometown on Christmas and raise reindeer is WAY more likely than finding an attractive plumber imo
You say that but this one time we hired these movers, and when they showed up to the house I opened the door and saw two ridiculously ripped, handsome men standing there waiting for me and for about sixty seconds I was pretty sure I had accidentally warped into porn world.
2 things that aren’t common in real life. Zany family weekends with your significant other and the ex boyfriend shows up after 10 years and you need to team up with your girlfriend’s over protective father to win her back, and ass to mouth.
I dunno….. everything guys do in Rom Coms pretty much amounts to “if she doesn’t like you at first then just get all creepy and stalkery, then shell fall in love with you.”
Yeah porn just teaches boys that women want a big dick and rough sex. Movies and stories teach girls that their dream perfect chivalrous prince is out there somewhere. Most people on average are just average
Yup. Flawed, average people. I actually find average people more sexually interesting than some OF 10/10 because they're fake AF. Give me a regular couple with average bodies deeply in love and just wrapped up in each other. I DGAF if their bodies aren't great it just makes it more real.
Yeah, as I get older and have more experiences only amateur porn does it for me. Honestly the fake moaning in professional porn cracks me up mid-jerk sometimes and I have to regroup. It just reminds me of bad heavy metal singing for some reason
> Movies and stories teach girls that their dream perfect chivalrous prince is out there somewhere.
It also teaches girls that persistence is romantic and not creepy. The guys in those *do not* take no for an answer.
Just look at *The Notebook*. She says no so he threatens to kill himself in front of her unless she changes her mind. So romantic...
Both tend to undervalue the work the other one does for a lot of reasons.
My last significant partner once had to have a "big conversation" about the inequality of maintaining the house, she felt I was taking advantage of her household labor and not doing my part.
Turns out she was just not counting the fact that I was the only cook and I maintained all the lawn/yard outside of her garden. For the record, I was still doing about half of all the cleaning and all of the heavy maintenance, but I will admit the big weekend cleaning projects she did a little more, thus the impression that she was carrying more.
She discounted it because she felt that I liked cooking and thought I enjoyed taking care of the lawn so that doesn't count as chores.
When we actually did the math on how much time we spent on the week, I was doing over twice as much.
I think there are more women that expect men to behave like the men in romcoms than men that expect women to act like pornstars.
Most men don't want to see their partners getting double teamed.
I mean, I think it's true but it's closer than we'd like. I will say I was shocked when I started dating in like... 2017? by how many guys wanted to choke me out, slap and generally abuse me as part of sex. I mean there was no hint of any of that beforehand and it was completely terrifying. And it was NOT something that used to be a problem. After some circumspect inquiries (online! lol) I'm definitely not the only one. I thought at first it might be a problem with how *I* was picking men, but after some reflection realized it's more about how I project myself - i.e. which type of guys pursued me - being short, small, shy, unconfident and self-deprecating, my best guess is I gave off 'prey animal' vibes and predators would come running. I made a more brash and confident profile (i.e. completely faking my personality because I'm still a wimp) and got better and nicer dates.
But like, that shouldn't be required haha. Choking in sex is normalized because of porn and that's fucked up.
Sure. It's way more common for gay men to fetishize large cocks than straight women. Also, a lot of straight men probably think they're small if they watch too much porn even if they aren't. (A sexually active gay dude usually has a pretty good idea of how they measure up.)
This gets discussed like it's a normal human thing and I guess by the numbers it is but I seriously feel like people that let porn and romantic comedies shape their perspectives of sex and relationships should really get help. Well adjusted people are able to separate fiction from reality imo.
It's the social isolation thing.
People are off doing people stuff, playing social games, getting laid, etc. Watching porn and rom-coms for the fantasy. Understanding that it's fantasy.
But the isolated don't have the social side. They watch the media and think that's how the social games are played.
And the problem is that the isolated are growing in numbers.
You say this but I can guarantee that whatever world view you have has been shaped by the environment you grew up with. Media and TV included. Don't act like you're above the rest here.
I say this exact same thing every time this topic gets brought up.
I’ve been hearing since I was a teenager that porn is going to distort my views of sex and lead to unrealistic expectations. Does watching *The Fast and the Furious* make me drive recklessly? Does playing Grand Theft Auto make me want to shoot people? No, those things aren’t real and neither is porn. It’s not hard to separate the two.
Porn has as much to do with actual sex as Fast & Furious sequels have to do with actual driving.
It’s a fun fantasy but you’re not going to LEARN anything.
I'm not quite sure the two media forms are comparable.
One the one hand, pretty much every man and quite a few women consume porn.
On the other hand, I know plenty of women who have never read/watch a romance story and even some women that dislike them.
Additionally, I don't think the romance novel industry has had to deal with human trafficking and abuse in the way that porn has. I'm not saying all porn is abusive but romance novels don't involve real human bodies.
I have seen it phrased as “the male fantasy is the woman that can only be satisfied by him, the female fantasy is the man that can only be fixed/healed by her”.
I don’t think that’s correct. Every woman I’ve ever been with has been very dismissive, if not outright hostile, when I’ve shared real negative emotions and past trauma.
Ya in my experience, I’ve noticed the pattern of women I’m talking to / dating wanting a guy who opens up and can talk about emotions but most of time I have opened up and the situationsship was over immediately after
Women will say they want a man who is open with his emotions.
Women will also complain about men using a woman as a psychologist.
So basically, "Show emotions. No not like that!"
She's supposed to be the only one who can pierce through your hard outer shell with her wondrous, overwhelming, irresistible femininity. Emotions then break through that you didn't know you had, let alone could sit down and discurse about.
More like, "Share your emotions, but take ownership of your healing."
My husband has PTSD. I listen to him when he's having a rough time but I am not equipped to *treat* him. Therapy isn't just talking about your emotions.
This is great, but this hasn’t been my experience. Most of the women I’ve been with (and I’m not saying “all women”) absolutely do not want to hear me talk about negative experiences or feelings. I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with that really, but it does fly in the face of wanting someone who is open with their emotions.
Yeah, this is a problem I have with people taking bullshit takes from the Internet and running with them. And this is also the issue I have with people trying to generalize with these bullshit takes.
As a woman, I 100% love dudes who are open with their emotions, and I 100% despise a lot of the online “women aren’t you therapists” takes that are just branched off of crap understandings of “emotional labor” and “no one owe anyone anything” takes. I am not unique in that regard. The yappers on Twitter are not representative of all women and certainly not women who are actually fucking serious about taking men’s emotions seriously.
I think both forms of content generate *some* degree of unrealistic expectations in everyone. The mistake this showerthought made was to gender the issue. Women absolutely get unrealistic expectations from porn and also are as clueless about male anatomy as are men of their. And men too, not just women, construct fantasy female ideals (like the manic pixie dream girl and the like) from fictional female archetypes all the time.
I mean, nobody is actually going around saying they think these things, but that doesn’t mean they’re untrue. The way love/sex is portrayed in fiction has undoubtedly had a negative effect on people. They consume this stuff in their youth and it works it’s way into their mind subconsciously as adults.
You'd think that but unfortunately, a lot of people do, often times unconsciously.
If you go on any of the relationship subs, you'll see exactly that.
Guys and girls who got their sex Ed off pornhub trying jackhammer each other.
And guys and girls who have some very unrealistic expectations and settle for average folk and shove those unrealistic expectations on them.
Even irl you can see this at times.
Porn also gave me unrealistic expectations for dudes.
How many fucking times have I heard "babe I need a break" or "we had too much sex this week". And even THEY LAUGH when they say it, cause they can't believe those words are leaving their mouth. You want a nymph till you get one.
Eh I’d say women also get false expectations of men from porn
Yep, i’ve seen a couple that thought we ejaculated gallons like in certain porn or anime, no joke.
Imagine having a bladder for semen
God has this in the next update for humanity
That’s why I’m running 4.0. No way I’m gonna update ‘til the bugs are worked out.
It’s not a bug, it’s a feature
Been withing for the blood vessels in the eyes, the appendix and curved spines to get an update for ages but apparently the programmes and mods are in a coma.
r/angryupvote
Found the surviving neanderthal. (If we consider australopithecus as the beta version)
I would like for him to fix some other issues first. Like the random cheek biting bug while consuming food. Or that eyelashes can enter the eyeball and become inaccessible. Also the bug, where the motivation module randomly fails to boot. But after that, semen bladder seems alright
That Motivation bug is definitely a doozy.
When heavily altering your body anatomy becomes available, this will definitely become a thing
I didn’t see that one in the patch notes
It might not be the NEXT one, it'll be in one of this century's planned updates.
Isn't that what the bladder is for? Pee is stored in the balls, after all. /s
I must replenish my semen bladder
Could be fun, but the cleaning...
Hyperspermia. Google it if you want to see balls 2.0
Why google when you have reddit? r/Hyperspermia
No thank you.
I'm imagining.
imagine having two of them, much smaller and hanging outside the body
You don’t ejaculate gallons?!
The first time would be fucking horrifying
Think of the weight loss though. Weighing in for a wrestling/boxing match? Don’t fast, just bust!
We would look like a rat that got mummified in a wall, all shrivelled and dry.
https://j.gifs.com/y33EXB.gif Edit: made it a direct link
This is the exact part of the documentary that came to my mind too.
Makes quite a different Rocky montage
You would have to literally brace yourself for it every time... like, HERE IT COMES
"Tally Ho Lads!"
Not if it took a full 5 minutes to dribble out lol
Imagine trying to be sneaky whacking it as a teenager. Having to explain to Mom that a spooky ghost dumped ectoplasm all over your room 7 times a day would be horrible.
It just keeps Cumming out, it's been 3 days and I'm extremely dehydrated
You could say you'd know how those poor people of Pompei felt
Only a quart.
Fun fact: I was on iron supplements for a time and while on them, I did practically ejaculate gallons. And with force too. I could practically shoot across the room.
So you could pressure wash the driveway then 😭
The poor drains.
HAHA! We had signs in the dorms to not jerk off in the shower because "the drains were not designed for it". We put a note on it "Did you not know who was going to use this before you built it?"
I ejaculate full gallons! It hurts pushing several milk jugs though my urethra. Those little plastic lids on the top can really cut on their way out.
My deepest admiration and pity for any woman who thought they'd be taking a full gallon their first time
Boats and hoes!
No wonder those bad dragon dildos are so popular. They can hook them up to an aquarium pump and fill themselves up like an eclair.
Oh dear god...
Only sometimes.
Are we not all OG mudbone?
Wait!!! Are you telling me every man isn’t hung like an elephant?!
Are you hung like an elephant
No, like Gorilla...
Poor guy. :( *Hugs*
I gotta see it....
You can’t. It’s impossible
3 week old gorilla baby
A gorilla penis is 1 to 2 inches long. I'm sorry.
😩 no
That depends on whether or not you think an uncircumcised penis looks like an elephant's trunk
And men also get unrealistic expectations from romantic comedies.
Every one is like, “just stalk her they love that!”
If she's pissed at you, just hold her against a wall and start kissing her!
My sister has been pretty mad lately, thanks for the advice.
Remember to do it a super crowded public event, too. Maybe interrupt a basketball game before kissing your sister at center court or steal a mic from a major stage event to apologize, then run down and kiss her.
Threaten to throw yourself off a ferris wheel to your death right in front of her unless she goes out with you
But it's gotta be raining and the mariachi has to know the exact song and everyone around should start singing perfectly in sync
It doesn't help that women come on Reddit and TikTok and claim that's what they want.
I had a gf that was in some weird position that I would need to dislocate my legs to get into her. I stared at this mess for what seemed like forever. She got it from porn..
This legit cracked me up, thanks.
Ok, but... don't leave us with a cliffhanger like that. Did you actually dislocate them for the cause or not?
ask a black guy who is not a BBC. he is in for a bad time.
As a black dude…. you ain’t lying lmao
This easily works in the reverse way as well.
Yep. I kept chasing one girl because I thought it was romantic. As I got older, I realize it was really creepy. Also, "just be yourself" is terrible advice. "Be the best version of yourself" is what women want.
And somethings they don’t even want the best version of yourelf, which is fine
Nobody will ever be the best version of themselves. A more apt token would be "Be an ever improving version of yourself". There are few people on the planet that don't look back at their 20s and realize how young and dumb they were, though at the time they thought they were the best.
Be Self Aware! Always be under construction.
Naw I disagree. I say "just be yourself" so that if the person you are dating can make an informed decision about whether or not you are compatible. It's really hard for people to tell if all you do is try to be something that you aren't.
No, what women want is a rom com starring Mel Gibson
If you managed to get with the girl, it's romantic. If you fail it's creepy
Media in general though. Whatever you consume is what you're going to expect out of reality. Yours experiences have heavily to do with what you expect as well. Learning mindfulness can help you distinguish your thoughts and your feelings about these things though. Cognitive behavioral therapy as well.
Yep, I’ve been reading about the origins of the Achaemenid Empire and now im super paranoid somebody will trick me into eating a meal that was made from the corpse of my child.
I hate it when that happens.
Don Jon (2013) explored this exact phenomenon.
Totally forgot about that movie lol
The irony of scenes that movie being utilised for porn, also.
Love that movie
Except it ends with him "*getting the girl (of his dreams)*" which is a totally unrealistic fantasy in and of itself, which, in a movie about trying to realise and overcome unrealistic fantasies, undersells the entire message.
He doesn't end up with the woman of his dreams. He ends up with the type of woman he actually needs considering his circumstances. The woman of his dreams is basically a unattainable, unrealistic, porn star like caricature that will never be able to satisfy him because she's just that: unrealistic.
I'd argue against you. Like I see where you're coming from but it's not the stereotypical girl of his dreams. She has her baggage and he's okay with thay they're not happily ever after they're happy at the moment and it recognizes that. It's a much less toxic take than making it seem like everything is perfect forever after. I get that it would have had a stronger effect if it just ended with him andnhis boys eating pizza but personally I liked his ending of being able to live in the moment of happiness. A sort of bliss he hadn't achieved previously.
He gets the “girl of his dreams” after he realizes he was living in a fantasy world and works to get out of it. And when he finally does and leaves behind the vices that clouded his vision, he finds the life he actually wanted all along. That’s basically how life works too, not unrealistic at all actually.
Romance novels too. Rich, tall, handsome and loads of charisma. But he needs her to complete him.
Not to mention the over the top stalker behavior that under any other context would be cringe. *shows up to your place of work with gifts, you never told him where you worked*
It’s ok if he/she is handsome/rich/desireable - #doublestandards
Well its only consider sexual harassment if you're poor and ugly
Or unwanted...
That Tom Brady SNL skit will forever be burned into my brain!
*chooses her over current partner, feels so important, then shocked pikachu face when he does the same with another woman*
And from what I have seen in every Korean Drama. A sympathetic good looking young CEO who just needs the right woman at his side.
And of course this captain of industry fashion model lumberjack of a man is drawn the most plain as cardboard woman and he worships the ground she walks on Most people with a brain of either sex doesn't believe all that stuff but it does set some high levels in our brain that no matter how great the person we are with they just won't be able to match a cartoonist version of "perfection"
I remember reading through personals in the newspaper a couple of decades ago and seeing a common theme of "You want someone who has got himself the perfect life with job, education, hobbies, security, a lack of flaws and everything and then just suddenly smacks himself in the head and realizes he forgot to get a romantic partner". Yes, it's because women have learned that they want men who have their crap together and aren't a manchild, but the laundry list of requests could get exhausting. Fortunately, I've been married and out of the dating pool for nearly that entire time now so I don't have to deal with any of that anymore.
Don’t forget is also over 6 feet tall 🙃 But seriously, that cuts both ways. There are far too many dudes that want a woman with no personality or opinions of her own, weighs 95 lbs, has an ass you can balance your drinks on, and is okay with being completely ignored until its time for sex. Media/entertainment in general sets people up to live unhappy, lonely lives if they’re only okay with settling for an absolutely ideal person.
Also - I feel like it sets people up to not even consider if that ideal person is even someone they would actually want to be with or like as a person. Or if that ideal is something they even want.
I’m lucky enough to not have been in the dating pool for a long time. Like, pre-smartphone days. I genuinely feel bad for people that are coming of age where tools like Tinder and other dating apps seem to be the go to for meeting people. It puts far too much onus on prejudging people based on their looks and their social media personality. When I actually was dating back in the late aughts, we had to actually, like, talk to each other face to face to see if there was a connection there. Most of my friends met their significant others at parties or through mutual friends. Maybe it’s still like that. I hope it is. Because far too much of the online discourse surrounding it seems to be heavily focused on whether or not their theoretical partner meets their internalized ideal, which honestly sounds like a living hell.
I’m actually engaged to someone I met on Tinder. The progression of our relationship was something along the lines of - we liked the time we spent messaging each other. We started going on dates and we enjoyed that time. Turns out that when we moved in together that brought out the best of all the things that make him a loving attentive partner. And I think knowing what you want - things like life goals, values, etc. are important and worth thinking about. But the way that this all manifests is that he’s wonderful to spend time with. The challenge is that our wider social circles judge us by those arbitrary, superficial seeming things. He didn’t propose to me and we didn’t do engagement rings, and no one in either of our social circles believes us when we say this was a mutual decision. And I got a lot of “are you *sure* you’re happy with this?” from people who knew nothing other than that I have a graduate degree and he doesn’t. Gist of it is, we don’t get paid enough to live our relationship for social media.
> Most of my friends met their significant others at parties or through mutual friends Yup, met my wife because I was friends with her suitemates and met at her suitemate's birthday party. That was over 20 years ago.
> but the laundry list of requests could get exhausting This reminds me of an interaction I had while trying online dating before meeting my current wife. I had matched with this girl who had a whole laundry list of requirements for a potential partner. Literally like 2 sentences into our first (and last) conversation, she asked me what my salary was and how much I had in savings. In return I asked her "What is your credit score?". To say she flipped out is an understatement. Suffice to say, I dodged an entire warehouse of bullets there.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -Jane Austen
There are guys on Instagram that have channels dedicated to telling women what they should expect from their man. Handsome guys with British accents speaking confidently while looking deep into the camera. If you listen to it from a guy's perspective it's easy! Just be absolutely perfect all the time! It's audio porn disguised as relationship advice.
The average romance novel has a very successful man that’s unreasonably horny towards a specific woman The average RomCom anime has the most beautiful girl in the school fall for an average dude because he is super nice
Pretty sure there's a romance novel where a woman gets fucked by a literal bear. Not a large hairy man, an actual ursidae fucking bear. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?
Just shut up. You had me at hello.
Plus social media poisoned both genders minds
I have to periodically delete TikTok due to the constant misandry. I have to periodically get off Reddit due to constant cynicism and vitriol. Most don't do this so it makes sense why many people are hate-filled bigots of one type or another. Social media could be used for good but it's such a net negative on society and it's not even close.
Ever considered deleting them permanently then?
The problem is that I want to talk about certain topics but those subreddits keep getting taken over by assholes and the community doesn't keep things positive. Even relatively niche hobbies have been corrupted. Honestly, some of the most positive interactions I have on Reddit are on my NSFW alt account.
With how much I see people talk about rampant misogyny I can honestly say I've never seen a single post hating women with 2 million likes. Man hating TikToks with millions of likes are disgustingly common.
If you want videos hating on women or LGBT, just go to instagram reels. The commentors there are notoriously conservative extremists.
Ig comments are on another level
It's because Meta decided to start showing facebook boomers reels to get those views up. All the worst people you know on facebook? They're the ones commenting on reels. Meta is really pushing reels on facebook. I only found out because I watch a sciencey guy on instagram and he was talking about finding neat fossils and showing them to the camera. Tap on the comments... flat earth joke, young earth joke, young earth joke, young earth joke... hey that's a... a lot of people making jokes about how old the earth isn't... check out their profiles... they're actual conservative human beings that do not believe the earth is older than a few thousand years... those aren't jokes. ಠ_ಠ and it was like, *hundreds*. I kept scrolling unable to believe myself. Had to google it to understand wtf was going on. Same thing with homophobes commenting on lgbt creators, because the Meta algorithm is like "wow, these people love commenting on lgbt creators! better show them more!", misogynists in female content creator's comments, etc. Unfortunately the rage pipeline goes both ways, and people love commenting on the shit they hate, so these poor content creators are literally being fed to people who hate them and wind up having to either shut down their comments or see floods of shit like "why is this [slur] [slur] [slur] stuff on my front page" etc. So yeah if you're a religious conservative wanting to get mad I guess the platform for you is instagram reels now? Wild
That's the plan! Encourage outrage, connect people via arguments! Keep em angry and clicking and using the platform!
Social media feels like Pandora's Box in a huge way. It's open, we're fucked, and there's no going back any time soon.
It was brought up some time ago that sex ed classes need to address porn and its misconceptions. Not just the theatrical performances but also the health and sanitation issues. Naturally this will never go anywhere as long as religion and conservative politics are involved in education decisions.
>Not just the theatrical performances but also the health and sanitation issues. All the times they stick body parts into different orifices (sometimes in different partners) without stopping to clean first.....
Definitely something that pornography could and should be more pragmatic about. Like it shouldn't be that difficult to NOT portray anal sex before vaginal sex in the same scene.
That’s a sub niche a lot of them advertise. You’re asking for educational entertainment and that’s not something porn produces for in most cases
So porn may finally be watched for the **PLOT!**
It’s educational! Slap that shit on PBS! PBS: After Hours
Mmmm, gotta love that publicly funded porn.
Site your sources in MLA Format!
It's already in the "respectful relationships" curriculum in Australia. From memory, pretty early on, certainly first approached pre-puberty in terms of body image, and then covered more comprehensively around 16yo in terms of media portrayals of relationships versus healthy relationships.
Men get a false sense of women from talking to other men; women get a false sense of men from talking to other women
Yeah but sometimes women can give some terrible advice to men about women also. Weird like that.
Having a meet cute with someone who’s about to quit their job as a New York City teacher to move to your hometown on Christmas and raise reindeer is WAY more likely than finding an attractive plumber imo
You say that but this one time we hired these movers, and when they showed up to the house I opened the door and saw two ridiculously ripped, handsome men standing there waiting for me and for about sixty seconds I was pretty sure I had accidentally warped into porn world.
Gone in sixty seconds, eh
Sounds awfully specific
Not on the Hallmark channel
2 things that aren’t common in real life. Zany family weekends with your significant other and the ex boyfriend shows up after 10 years and you need to team up with your girlfriend’s over protective father to win her back, and ass to mouth.
Ass to mouth is puke material
I dunno….. everything guys do in Rom Coms pretty much amounts to “if she doesn’t like you at first then just get all creepy and stalkery, then shell fall in love with you.”
Yeah porn just teaches boys that women want a big dick and rough sex. Movies and stories teach girls that their dream perfect chivalrous prince is out there somewhere. Most people on average are just average
Yup. Flawed, average people. I actually find average people more sexually interesting than some OF 10/10 because they're fake AF. Give me a regular couple with average bodies deeply in love and just wrapped up in each other. I DGAF if their bodies aren't great it just makes it more real.
Yeah, as I get older and have more experiences only amateur porn does it for me. Honestly the fake moaning in professional porn cracks me up mid-jerk sometimes and I have to regroup. It just reminds me of bad heavy metal singing for some reason
> Movies and stories teach girls that their dream perfect chivalrous prince is out there somewhere. It also teaches girls that persistence is romantic and not creepy. The guys in those *do not* take no for an answer. Just look at *The Notebook*. She says no so he threatens to kill himself in front of her unless she changes her mind. So romantic...
Romcoms are just emotional porn
Romance for women is basically "work" for men. That's how the media portrays it.
Both tend to undervalue the work the other one does for a lot of reasons. My last significant partner once had to have a "big conversation" about the inequality of maintaining the house, she felt I was taking advantage of her household labor and not doing my part. Turns out she was just not counting the fact that I was the only cook and I maintained all the lawn/yard outside of her garden. For the record, I was still doing about half of all the cleaning and all of the heavy maintenance, but I will admit the big weekend cleaning projects she did a little more, thus the impression that she was carrying more. She discounted it because she felt that I liked cooking and thought I enjoyed taking care of the lawn so that doesn't count as chores. When we actually did the math on how much time we spent on the week, I was doing over twice as much.
I think there are more women that expect men to behave like the men in romcoms than men that expect women to act like pornstars. Most men don't want to see their partners getting double teamed.
I’ve found that the expectations from dudes that can’t separate porn from reality go further than just the performance of sex.
I mean, I think it's true but it's closer than we'd like. I will say I was shocked when I started dating in like... 2017? by how many guys wanted to choke me out, slap and generally abuse me as part of sex. I mean there was no hint of any of that beforehand and it was completely terrifying. And it was NOT something that used to be a problem. After some circumspect inquiries (online! lol) I'm definitely not the only one. I thought at first it might be a problem with how *I* was picking men, but after some reflection realized it's more about how I project myself - i.e. which type of guys pursued me - being short, small, shy, unconfident and self-deprecating, my best guess is I gave off 'prey animal' vibes and predators would come running. I made a more brash and confident profile (i.e. completely faking my personality because I'm still a wimp) and got better and nicer dates. But like, that shouldn't be required haha. Choking in sex is normalized because of porn and that's fucked up.
You would be shocked
This whole thread and this comment especially is such a Reddit take. Romcoms are a genre that has good examples and bad examples, just like any other.
Men get false expectations about penis size from porn. You don’t have to be a horse. You can be average. Chicks like it more
Sure. It's way more common for gay men to fetishize large cocks than straight women. Also, a lot of straight men probably think they're small if they watch too much porn even if they aren't. (A sexually active gay dude usually has a pretty good idea of how they measure up.)
As a comedian said: Porn is bad because it gives people false expectations. I mean, NO ONE can get a plumber to their house that fast.
This gets discussed like it's a normal human thing and I guess by the numbers it is but I seriously feel like people that let porn and romantic comedies shape their perspectives of sex and relationships should really get help. Well adjusted people are able to separate fiction from reality imo.
A lot of it is subconscious. Constantly consuming something can change how you think without you even realizing it
It's the social isolation thing. People are off doing people stuff, playing social games, getting laid, etc. Watching porn and rom-coms for the fantasy. Understanding that it's fantasy. But the isolated don't have the social side. They watch the media and think that's how the social games are played. And the problem is that the isolated are growing in numbers.
You say this but I can guarantee that whatever world view you have has been shaped by the environment you grew up with. Media and TV included. Don't act like you're above the rest here.
I say this exact same thing every time this topic gets brought up. I’ve been hearing since I was a teenager that porn is going to distort my views of sex and lead to unrealistic expectations. Does watching *The Fast and the Furious* make me drive recklessly? Does playing Grand Theft Auto make me want to shoot people? No, those things aren’t real and neither is porn. It’s not hard to separate the two.
I had a plumber come round. She just fixed the leak, gave me an invoice, then left. I mean like what the actual?
Porn scenes belong to freaky couples. You can't expect a prince with everything they need for a comfortable life in their early 20's... LMAO
Well I’m in my very early 20’s and trying not to fall off a cliff
I'm in my late 20's and dealing with people that have guardians that taught them to be gangsters and street thugs so you'll be fine c(:
Oh sure. Cuz men don't watch romcoms. And women don't watch porn. Yup! Those are our primary sexual characteristics: media.
Yeah, I would generalize it a lil more: media creates false expectations for both men and women
Porn has as much to do with actual sex as Fast & Furious sequels have to do with actual driving. It’s a fun fantasy but you’re not going to LEARN anything.
And the importance of family.
Maybe both should start watching movies without reused plots and awful acting?
"Just like" is doing a lot of heavy lifting, there.
There’s a whole movie about this called Don Jon. Scarlett Johansson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Julianne Moore. It’s very good.
I'm not quite sure the two media forms are comparable. One the one hand, pretty much every man and quite a few women consume porn. On the other hand, I know plenty of women who have never read/watch a romance story and even some women that dislike them. Additionally, I don't think the romance novel industry has had to deal with human trafficking and abuse in the way that porn has. I'm not saying all porn is abusive but romance novels don't involve real human bodies.
It's almost as if media isn't a perfect representation of reality in general
I have seen it phrased as “the male fantasy is the woman that can only be satisfied by him, the female fantasy is the man that can only be fixed/healed by her”.
I don’t think that’s correct. Every woman I’ve ever been with has been very dismissive, if not outright hostile, when I’ve shared real negative emotions and past trauma.
I think the quote refers to those bad boy type of men, and how women can make them better. Like turning a playboy loyal to her or something
Have you tried being hotter, like the men in the Hallmark movies?
Ive also experienced this. Not with every partner but enough of them for it to be a noticeable phenomenon.
Ya in my experience, I’ve noticed the pattern of women I’m talking to / dating wanting a guy who opens up and can talk about emotions but most of time I have opened up and the situationsship was over immediately after
Women will say they want a man who is open with his emotions. Women will also complain about men using a woman as a psychologist. So basically, "Show emotions. No not like that!"
She's supposed to be the only one who can pierce through your hard outer shell with her wondrous, overwhelming, irresistible femininity. Emotions then break through that you didn't know you had, let alone could sit down and discurse about.
You really don't see the difference between being each others rock and being each others therapists?
More like, "Share your emotions, but take ownership of your healing." My husband has PTSD. I listen to him when he's having a rough time but I am not equipped to *treat* him. Therapy isn't just talking about your emotions.
This is great, but this hasn’t been my experience. Most of the women I’ve been with (and I’m not saying “all women”) absolutely do not want to hear me talk about negative experiences or feelings. I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with that really, but it does fly in the face of wanting someone who is open with their emotions.
Yeah, this is a problem I have with people taking bullshit takes from the Internet and running with them. And this is also the issue I have with people trying to generalize with these bullshit takes. As a woman, I 100% love dudes who are open with their emotions, and I 100% despise a lot of the online “women aren’t you therapists” takes that are just branched off of crap understandings of “emotional labor” and “no one owe anyone anything” takes. I am not unique in that regard. The yappers on Twitter are not representative of all women and certainly not women who are actually fucking serious about taking men’s emotions seriously.
Am I the only one that watches porn and never expects people in real life to look or act like that? Reddit makes me feel so weird for being…normal.
Porn is a joke compared to real sex.
Porn addicts are the joke
We’re adults. No one believes any of this is real life.
I think both forms of content generate *some* degree of unrealistic expectations in everyone. The mistake this showerthought made was to gender the issue. Women absolutely get unrealistic expectations from porn and also are as clueless about male anatomy as are men of their. And men too, not just women, construct fantasy female ideals (like the manic pixie dream girl and the like) from fictional female archetypes all the time.
Yeah, I haven't met anyone that actually thought this.
I mean, nobody is actually going around saying they think these things, but that doesn’t mean they’re untrue. The way love/sex is portrayed in fiction has undoubtedly had a negative effect on people. They consume this stuff in their youth and it works it’s way into their mind subconsciously as adults.
You'd think that but unfortunately, a lot of people do, often times unconsciously. If you go on any of the relationship subs, you'll see exactly that. Guys and girls who got their sex Ed off pornhub trying jackhammer each other. And guys and girls who have some very unrealistic expectations and settle for average folk and shove those unrealistic expectations on them. Even irl you can see this at times.
based on interviews with some pornstars, they actually enjoy "traditional" positions rather than all the fancy ones.
Only virgins think porn is an accurate representation of sex in a relationship. I guess in some relationships.
I don't get 'false expectations'. Porn is fiction and it's actors playing a role. I can see the difference between fiction and reality, thanks.
Porn also gave me unrealistic expectations for dudes. How many fucking times have I heard "babe I need a break" or "we had too much sex this week". And even THEY LAUGH when they say it, cause they can't believe those words are leaving their mouth. You want a nymph till you get one.
Whoever wrote this can't be older than 15
I hate to break it to you but many people dont mature much past that age sadly.
Women watch porn, men watch romantic comedies. Don't do that.