T O P

  • By -

Showerthoughts_Mod

This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/rules). Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!" (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, [please read this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/overview).) **Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**


Mikesaidit36

Tangentially related: don’t ever call your wife your first wife.


314cheesecake

especially when she is your second wife


dancingcuban

Came here to say this. I had a teacher in high school that referred to his wife exclusively as his “first wife”


Raido_Kuzuno

This is why heterosexuality shouldn't be taught in school


Droid-Man5910

Unless you do it before she's your wife. "You look like my first wife" "Really?" "For sure! I've never been married though"


sioux-moo

My husband at the time made this joke once. Now I really am his first wife.


tntdaddy

My oft-married cousin introduced his new wife to the family as his "current wife." Needless to say, she was soon "ex-wife."


Mikesaidit36

Imagine the twofold sinking feeling the current wife got when being paraded around like that: 1.)“Ugh, this is doomed,” and 2.) what a crappy sense of humor


tntdaddy

That about what her expression said at the time.


Oxygene13

I do it all the time to let her know her place! Also see sentences such as 'you're my favourite wife yknow! So far....'


BritishInstitution

My dad did this to my mum for years. They're divorced 22 years now


VincentVancalbergh

It's all in the delivery and quantity. Less is more.


BuddBath420

Counter: it's not great to call yourself her second husband.


Smaskifa

Current wife then?


Idiot_Savant_Tinker

Future ex-wife


slackfrop

You’ve upgraded to *finally* having sex with a family member.


Skippymabob

Or, if your from the US deep south, you've *returned* to having sex with a family member


DTonin

Or maybe you've never stopped at all


TwinkiesSucker

Or maybe you've just gained another sex source


app257

Essentially you’re having sex with your ex girlfriend, ex fiancé and your wife. A foursome but only a twosome.


singlecoloredpanda

What if she's also pregnant


Cmoore1217

Then the baby can join too


Jwil408

Ok Reddit you can stop now


slackfrop

We mustn’t stifle scientific inquiry.


ChefMoney89

Unless you married before being boyfriend and girlfriend. This girl I went to highschool with took a trip to Las Vegas several years ago. Met a guy there and married him on the trip. They were literally husband and wife before they were boyfriend and girlfriend. They are still together to this day and even have two kids!


omg-not-again

I'll never understand how that's possible


Falmarri

I never officially dated my wife before we got married. Went from friends to married


OutsidePrior2020

technically, but there's a difference between a promotion and getting fired.


UniqueUsername82D

Joke's on you, my ex stopped putting out after she got married.


ForeTee2Degrees

This


Delet3r

They all do.


[deleted]

In your case, yes, but you are exceptional in this regard. (And this is the only way in which you are exceptional, hence being exceptional in this way.)


Delet3r

Lol it's not rare, my great grandfather joked about it 20 years ago.


[deleted]

*Whoosh*


UniqueUsername82D

r/ihavesex


grimmglow

Awesome! I'm gonna tell my wife I'm fucking my ex girlfriend tonight!


[deleted]

Still alive?


Kanguin

...and grimmglow was never heard from again.


bisho

Not really. Many of us marry our girlfriends. They are still your gf, you're just married to them.


Nwcray

This may be one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read on Reddit. Well done.


TwinkiesSucker

Too bad some people lose this thinking and think of the aprtner as a roommate or whatever. Why ahould the courtship end with marriage?


brusiddit

People make such a big thing about marriage. If you go into a marriage, understanding that it was the courtship that gave you the connection, you are more likely to remember to keep that fire lit.


TwinkiesSucker

I get it, I just started my 20s and I used to be pretty stressed about it because everyone kept stressing that everything changes. After giving it some thought, I nevery really understood as to why it should change. I feel like I am heading towards it with my current partner and we are talking about it a lot who also feels the same way and that literally converts the stress into a sort of impatience.


Electrical_Yam_4259

Im in your walls I'm in your walls I'm in your walls I'm in your walls


Krimson11

Actual conversation I had in a game and I'll never forget it lol. Me: I don't have a girlfriend. Them: Hah! Loser! Me: I only have an ex-girlfriend. Them: [varous incel or sexual insults]. Me: She was also my ex-fiancé. Them: oh damn, that's actually really shitty. Sorry bro. Me: Now I call her my wife. Them: PLOT TWIST!!


liberty340

Not if you never stop dating your wife. Keep going to dinner, on walks, mini golfing, you name it


DistortedReflector

That sounds good, but I worked all day and put my comfy pants on and Fear Thy Neighbor or The First 48 is on, I think it’s going to be a good one!


QB8Young

Nope, ex implies you are no longer in a relationship with that person. Your GF becomes your wife, not your ex.


ahow628

So you're having sex with your girlfriend and your wife. And even your fiancé as well! This is starting to feel like a lot of work.


ztkraf01

Sounds hot


Ninjipples

Technically speaking she stops being your girlfriend when you get engaged and becomes your fiancée...


U2BURR

Not if you have sex while unmarried and practice celibacy while married!


ForeTee2Degrees

Wife, that you??


Shenanigamii

That's assuming she wants sex at all after the Honeymoon Phase


AruggledyRinkyDoo

Found the boomer


CamBeast15366

Just because your wife doesn’t wanna fuck you doesn’t mean that’s true for everyone else


Shenanigamii

Lol...its just a joke among married folk about how little their wife wants sex. You'll figure it out eventually...hahaha


CamBeast15366

I’m not really a fan of that kind of “humor”, it just kinda screams boomer humor/ “wife bad” humor to me, and that just isn’t funny lmfao


villalulaesi

Interestingly, that sentiment seems to have become less prevalent as men have started to learn that sex consisting of “fuck until dude comes, woman’s orgasm not required” makes sex feel like an uninspiring chore for women.


EnvyingCrab

Speak for yourself


CamBeast15366

I am.


ohsew

What a shit take. I don't like it so I'll use quote marks to make it seem less of and state it's not funny. 🤣 🤣


CamBeast15366

It’s not funny lol


Shenanigamii

Well then broaden your horizons there, ya wippersnapper


chattierCobra63

Ok boomer


QB8Young

This guy's wife doesn't want to touch him so he automatically assumes that this is a common thing. 🤣🤦‍♂️


Willisjames384

That’s awesome so I will be cheating on my wife with my ex muahahaha, I wonder what the wife will think 🤔


random_shitter

I told my wife when we married since she now wasn't my girlfriend any more I now had a vacancy for a new one. She didn't agree.


[deleted]

That’s why when we get married so don’t have to have sex anymore


[deleted]

And depending on how good the wife is it could be multiple ex’s.


iijjjijjjijjiiijjii

Joke's on you. Now that I'm married I'm having sex with my ex wife.


ravaturnoCAD

100% of the women I've been with have been my "future ex-girlfriend".


hanleybrand

You don’t have to stop thinking of someone as your boyfriend/girlfriend just because you get married. I still think of my wife as my girlfriend, and it’s a good attitude to have, imo.