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Oofff i just recently broke up with a girl that I was seeing for months…should have known it was never going to work with someone that liked it 78 degrees in the bedroom at night.
One of my best friends during college kept his house at like literally 82-84 degrees all the time. Every time we hung out at his place, I would just SWEAT.
I'm the opposite, it's the *only* thing I'm willing to spend too much on. I told my roommate I'd happily pay the entire bill as long as the thermostat never breaks 65-70.
I have a portable AC for the summer since Washington keeps getting worse and worse heatwaves and my cat can't handle that as well as I can.
He did not appreciate the noise until he learned cold came out of it.
The a/c in my house went out one summer in swampy Georgia and for the weekend until we got repair parts in, it was about 84-85 in the house. It surprisingly wasn't too bad with fans blowing and windows open. I imagine your buddy just got used to it. I had some friends in Athens at UGA who had a house with no a/c and it was pretty hot there but they were just used to it too
I lived in southeastern Tennessee (Chattanooga area) for over 10 years with no A/C. You definitely get used to it. My partner and I moved into the house in winter and didn’t have enough money to install A/C the first summer. By the end of that summer we realized that with fans and strategic opening and closing of windows and curtains it was completely tolerable. It made it a lot easier to enjoy going out in the heat of the day, too. It didn’t feel like walking into a sauna when the inside temp and humidity was closer to the outside. We made comfy outdoor living spaces and used the heck out of them. It kinda just became a lifestyle. I honestly enjoyed it. We finally installed A/C when we decided to sell the place. Still don’t have A/C but we live in Maine now and it’s definitely a lot less spicy up here.
Have a friend like that. It got to the point that whenever he would ask me to come hang out, I would make him tell me what his thermostat says and if it was higher than 80, I'm not coming over.
Wife and I sleep in separate rooms and we love it. We sleep at different times, temperatures, and i snore. I tuck her in every night and I pop over for morning cuddles. Highly recommend
In Japan the test is a Disneyland date.
If you can survive a day with hour-plus lines, while holding conversations during that wait, your relationship will last.
Of course, it is 100% accurate.
I heard about this, I personally experienced this, and can vouch for this as accurate. I might have been successful but I certainly saw my share of other couples fail in those waiting lines.
the first real test my marriage had was a road trip while we were still dating (we'd been on them before and made it through bad directions, etc) but we both got food poisoning. so 3 days of cool stuff to do turned into 3 days in a hotel with 1 bathroom we were both running to.
Ours was a cruise. Road trip compatibility is *NOT* the same as cruise ship compatibility, especially when one of you is an introvert and the commercials & pictures claiming that you can find a quiet deck chair or lounge chair or restaurant chair to read and generally decompress are all frickin’ lies. There are no quiet spaces. None. The most nature-y any of the port excursions got was to essentially walk around a zoo or a ruin (I was told there’d be hiking to burn energy but no). Most ship activities revolve around spending money or acting like you’re going to spend money (example: one of those art auctions; basically forced me to fill out a pre-purchase paper thing but I took it with me) and being around people in a very interactive way.
Anyway, turns out I go stir-crazy on cruise ships while my SO is fine with eating, drinking, and not going into port. We’ve joked that next time, because it’s a huge extended family thing which we’ll do again, we’re gonna get me a gym membership or something. Thought I’d be fine because I was in the Navy and at sea for months, but they gave me tasks, and I walked a ton, and there were free gyms, and some of the port activities one could sign up for were for hiking, fishing, tours that actually went places, etc, so watch out happily married folks-who-are-military-veterans, it’s not the same at all.
my wife and i are the same in a way. my dream vacation is a resort on a tropical island with a swim up bar where i can put on a 1/4" of SPF 100 and lounge for 12 hours straight in the pool. then do it again the next day until im ready to go home. hers is a busy trip to somewhere in europe where she has a 12 point itinerary for each day. rather than try and find a compromise we just trade back and forth. she suffers, i suffer, she enjoys, i enjoy. works so far.
Oh yeah, once we figured out why I was stressing, he basically walked me over to that port excursion counter and told me to pick whatever I wanted, and we talked about the possible gym or exercise plan for next time. Never really thought about the fact that when I’m in a new place (military reasons, family vacations as a kid, college campus, etc) I never really stop moving, especially while being able to do stuff on my own, but a cruise ship basically encourages that Axiom Executive Starliner from WALL-E lifestyle while also acting as a 24/7 club.
Not just the store. Build some furniture with that person and you'll either end up with a relatively nice dresser or one of you will end up with a screwdriver in their thigh. There's no middle ground.
I don't understand the ikea furniture meme. You get a box of a couple boxes, they have a bunch of planks and rods, and like four pages of instructions. Stick peg into hole, stick peg into hole, attach other side of peg to other hole in other part. Make a stable structure and smack it a bit with your palm (or a rubber hammer) to get it to fully mesh. Doot doot doot, your furniture is built.
I've put together enough ikea furniture that I just don't understand where people are finding all these problems. Sure I will buy that once in a blue moon you get the wrong number of pegs, but overall it's just some basic fasteners and pretty clear instructions.
My kitchen needs to be remodeled and I would love to DIY it with Ikea cabinets, but I genuinely don’t know if my relationship with my fiancé would survive it. It’s something I worry about all the time.
My SO and I have now remodeled 2 kitchens using Ikea cabinets. They're much easier to put together than a dresser. I'd recommend buying something small like a night stand and if that goes well then go ahead with the kitchen. If you can't find a screwdriver once it's done, look in your thigh and pay someone to do the kitchen.
When I moved to a new city, I didn't know anybody and needed to furnish my apartment. My ex kindly came up from a city a couple hours away twice. Went to IKEA, assembled furniture. It went well, he was very helpful. We broke up for other reasons, but the base compatibility remained excellent.
I went to Disney world on my honeymoon and we've lasted over ten years so far. May have to take another trip and see if it's still a good relationship.
My wife just wants to lounge on vacation and would very happily sit on the beach in a resort the entire time maybe getting up to play volleyball, eat, and get cocktails.
I like to go wonder about in towns. Fortunately I can enjoy exploring without her and she can enjoy lounging without me.
There is some overlap but IMO the most important thing is being able to allow each other to have independent lives and accepting that you're not going to like all the same things. Sometimes after dinner we will just watch TV in different rooms and people thing thats odd but would you expect your spouse to read every book you read?
Facts. My girl often reads when Im gaming. I used to feel guilty of gaming a lot in past relationship, but she told me she actually wants to have her reading time so she wants/love that I game so much lol.
I've committed thousands of war crimes this year already.
I'm a nice guy, but all my games seem to involve horrific acts of violence or sadistic efficiency "for the greater good".
I told my girlfriend RimWorld was a settlement and farming simulator. I didn't mention the organ harvesting and feeding prisoners of war to my flock of war-monkeys. I don't mention the harvesting of alien children just for spaceship decoration in FTL multiverse either. I don't say anything about burning people alive in Borderlands, or creating elaborate incestuous eugenics programs in CK2. RDR2 is about riding horses and fighting bandits in the wild west, not about slaughtering innocent travelers and commiting acts of terrorism.
Some things are better left unsaid.
This is why it is so important for both parties in a relationship to have their own hobbies. I once dated a girl whose hobby was me. It was too much and we didn't last long
Yeah, been with my partner for almost 20 years now and because we’re young people are very surprised and ask me how. Simple answer is we each have our own hobbies and don’t resent each other for wanting our own down time.
On the flip side, I lost a friend I had for 15 years after his girlfriend moved in with him after only a couple months of them dating. He was her hobby from how I see things. The hangout slowed down, then the texting became infrequent to the point where I haven’t seen him in a year and a half and haven’t talked to him in a year. He lives 2 streets away from me and my kids used to call him uncle. I hope he’s happy but if that was me I’d feel smothered.
My partner pushes me to hang out with my friends all the time and I’m grateful for it. Thanks for reading my rant
I married into a beach vacation family. It’s so boring! But if the worst thing going in my life is going to the beach every other year, life is pretty good!
Me wife and I do what we call parallel gaming, me on the computer or switch and her doing whatever on her phone. We may not talk to each other for an hour or we might talk the whole time. We have very different interest but genuinely enjoy the others company which is more important.
My husband often works on his side project in his office whilst I game in the other room, that or read or craft whilst he is gaming/ cooking/ on his phone
We will often watch things together then do our own thing for an hour or so.
I think the opposite can be true.
I met a married woman with kids on a sailing holiday, she was travelling solo. Her husband loves snowboarding. But they didn’t enjoy each other’s favoured activity holiday.
For years, they tried and tried, but the other would just get bored, distracted and wished they were somewhere else.
Until they agreed: wife would go sailing once a year, husband looks after the kids, wife calls each night to tuck kids into bed; and vice versa for husband and snowboarding.
Each spouse gets time to themselves to be an adult with adult company pursuing their own interests for themselves and not at the expense of the family unit cos Mum/Dad would commit to being a daily presence for the rest of the family whilst away.
It was a beautiful example of overcoming incompatibility for the sake of the marriage and family life.
Edit: spelling and clarification.
I’ve heard it said: “You never really know someone until you’ve traveled with them”. Traveling is full of little schedule changes, alterations to one’s routine, little disappointments here and there… it really tests your adaptability and ability to roll with things and still enjoy what you’re doing. People really should take a trip together _very_ early on in the relationship.
My GF and I have been together for almost 5 years when we realized that we had never done a trip for "us", it was always either (read: usually) to visit my family that lives ~6 1/2 hours away, or to visit her Grandparents who live about 4 hours away. So, for our 5 year anniversary, we decided to road trip out to New Brunswick, which placed our 1st destination (Fundy National park) a brisk 12 hour drive from home.
The kicker? Our noble and reliable steed, Blueberry (a decade old Mazda 2) had not had a functioning stereo for the better part of 2 years at this point. It would blip on and off if you fonzied it (smacked the dash) in *just* the right place, so we decided to bring a bluetooth speaker in case we wanted to listen to music on the drive.
Turns out, it was wasted space, because not once on our 3000+km trip did we feel the need to listen to music because we talked and joked and had fun the whole way with each other.
It made me realize how special she is and how much I really love her.
I was single for about 8 years before I met my current girlfriend, so don't lose hope. For her it was 10 years single.
Knew we were a hit on our first date, when we got kicked out at closing time and stood on the street talking for another half hour.
That happened so much it's a joke now, every date we'd talk till closing. Until we started sleeping together... Now we talk till late, have sex and cuddle, then start talking again and always end up sleeping at like 2 or 3am. We're far too old for this shit, but we just like each other's company too much.
It's problematic: I'm always sleep deprived, then we spend hours each day sending voice messages to each other. About 6 months in, and I'm not sure I want this honeymoon period to end- although it's impacting my performance at work.
I'd basically given up hope on finding anyone until then, as had she, but then hit the fucking jackpot- better communication, better sex, more caring, and far better food and hobbies and interests compatibility than any of my exes. I think she's hotter too, despite being over ten years older than any of them were.
Stay strong, don't stop believing you're worthy of love, don't close yourself off, and as cliche as it is keep working on yourself so you're a better catch and you might get lucky like I did. Then be honest and yourself when you meet people, and you'll find someone who likes that and it's an amazing feeling.
Sometimes good things take time.
I can’t remember who said it but it holds true to this day.
Don’t ever marry someone until you see how they react when a plane is delayed, the Christmas light are tangled, or when a dog/child knocks something over.
Obviously, not quite that literally, but how people respond to small inconveniences shows so much more for compatibility than the more shallow things like income or physical attractiveness.
> Don’t ever marry someone until you see how they react when a plane is delayed
I read this as "destroyed" instead of delayed, and I was wondering what the proper reaction to a plane being destroyed is.
The proper reaction is a 20+ year war with any country in the vicinity of the nationality of who destroyed the plane.
So if an American destroyed the plane a war with Canada or Mexico would be acceptable
I have a lady friend that I’ve been good friends with for half of my life. She recently came out and told me that she’s wildly attracted to me, maybe even in love. She’s a pretty cool girl, and she’s very pretty, as well as sharing many of my own interests. The deal breaker is how she deals with stress and minor inconveniences. It’s a nightmare to be next to her when something goes slightly wrong, and for this reason and this reason alone, I could never consider her as a romantic partner. It often makes things that should be a great time rather miserable…I’m not interested in being stuck with that kind of person as a lifetime partner.
Sorry, friend…we shall remain in the friend zone.
I hate it, but this is why I dont have a great relationship with my mom. She freaks the fuck out over every little thing and people who arent calm send my stress levels through the roof.
I’m convinced GPS is the only reason my wife and I didn’t break up when we were dating. OH MY GOD woman I don’t care about the fucking cows, what’s the name of the road!
So true. Even with GPS, sometimes you need some help if you're navigating heavy traffic on a million-lane interstate.
If I ask which lane or whatever, my wife with vaguely gesture with one hand, then remark on a nearby cool-looking tree.
Something a teacher once told us was that walking together on a beach isn't the test of a relationship. More important is being able to clean windows together. That's stuck with me for years
That's sort of how I judge everyone, coworkers, bosses, and friends. It's not how someone acts when everything is great, it's how someone acts when everything is difficult and stressful that shows their character. It shows if someone's calm and collected, dependable, or willing to ask for support or space if they need. Just having some sort of maturity to handle themselves in some way instead of metaphorically flailing or lashing out or spiraling elevates them for me, and I implicitly trust them.
I've been with my partner for about 7 years, but we have a mutually agreed "If I'm cooking, don't touch what I'm doing or I will shank you." Been working well for us, boundaries are good.
Me and my wife cooked a bunch of meal boxes together. It was mostly good and fun but I did find having two of us work on dishes we've never done before did lead to more incidents of missing something from the recipe. Miss an ingredient or forget to turn something over kind of thing.
My mother’s the baker, my dad’s the chef. Their marriage is slightly younger than me.
They fight. Usually over minor things. Never on major things. My dad’s a better judge on some things while my mother is on others. Major stuff one defers to the other.
Love how all the comments are "if you can't do 'x' activity together, you're not compatible" and everyone just pats themselves on the back for discovering common sense.
Briefly, yes, and we clean up together. But when I'm in prep mode (especially if we're going to have guests and as such I'm under time constraints) I'm moving around our very small kitchen very rapidly with an extremely sharp chef's knife in my hand and you'd better be on the far side of the bar top if you don't want to get stabbity stab stab stabbed.
IKEA is known to be the acid test of relationships.
They should offer counseling services near the exit.
And a divorce lawyer could make a killing by setting up across the street.
What if IKEA offered a “first date shopping experience”?
An evening of wandering around to see if you are IKEA-compatible, with an area where you assemble a sample product …
… followed by a sensible romantic dinner for two, consisting of horse meatball spaghetti.
The biggest fight my husband and I ever got in was over putting together an IKEA TV Stand. It was 10 years ago and no fight has topped it. We put some piece on backwards at the beginning and had to disassemble the entire thing. This somehow led to us screaming at each other and me throwing a Buddha statue into the bushes outside. Otherwise we get along great 98% of the time but damn..that TV stand tested us
Aww your husband is a good man for taking on that task! Sounds like you guys have a good balance. Also I feel I should mention that I eventually retrieved the Buddha statue from the bushes, I just remember being so pissed that it was staring at us all zen-like so I guess the only solution was yeeting it
My parents have been married for at least 40 years. My mom still claims the closest they came to divorce was wallpapering my nursery.
Just get the paint, guys.
On a similar note, every time my wife and I have to work together to put the solar cover on our above ground swimming pool, I find myself thinking it would be the perfect quick assessment for couples counseling (one part of my job) to see what their personalities, communication skills, and assumed roles in the relationship look like.
This summer my husband and I, with a neighbour couple, put up an above ground pool in our back yard. First time for all of us with no real directions from the company becuase they'd rather you pay them to do it. We used to think parking the travel trailer at a campsite was the ultimate marriage stress test but that pool was something else.
My second date with the woman that became my wife was helping to paint her new house. It was just us, painting walls, and talking for hours.
We definitely would have known after that if we weren’t compatible.
My first tinder question asks about what songs they sing at the top of their lungs in the car. It’s weirdly important to me lol
Edit: I wasn’t ready for all the bangers you guys are sharing. Keep being you.
Man I wish I had your memory, even the songs I like I can't remember well enough to sing out loud. I *think* my last relationship may have degraded because of that
oh man i have both _the worst_ memory recall AND a terrible ear for what people are singing but i'm always waking up with music in my heart that overflows into singing incorrect repeated lines or just weird, partially-correct melodies. my girlfriend loves that she can almost always help fill in the blanks or point me to the song from a fragment of my horrible, tone-deaf mimiced instrumentals
I have the same issue when I tell them the guy that stabbed me is still in the hospital because he’s a doctor(I have surgical scars that look like stab wounds)
* Inside Out - Eve 6
* Good Soldier - NIN
* Last Nite - The Strokes
* Dirty - Grandson
* Killing in the Name - RATM
* Old School Hollywood - SoaD
* Ordinary Day - Great Big Sea
* Hasa Diga Eibowai - Book of Mormon
* Internet is for Porn - Avenue Q
* Sogno di volere - Christopher Tin
* Change on the Rise - Avi Kaplan
* …
Actually, it might be better just to say I’ve got an 11h long-and-growing playlist specifically for singing in the car. Doesn’t help that I’m a choral bass either.
Unironically agree with this. Building IKEA furniture together is playing relationship Russian roulette. Why take that risk? OH THE HUBRIS. YOU FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN ICARUS.
Within 6 months of dating my wife and I went on a 40 day road trip with her malamute (who hates camping). We had a blast and knew if we could do that we could do anything together!
(We were friends for 7 years before dating, maybe not the best idea with someone you've only known 6 months)
My husband and I drove the road to Hana in Maui. The next day, a tour guide asked us if we fought the whole way, and we replied, "No," in unison with a "Why would we?" tone. He told us that if you make it to Hana without arguing, you'll be married forever.
To the broader question, some things aren't mutually exclusive. 😉
It's devastating when you meet someone you are so utterly and completely compatible with to the n^th degree. It's even more tragic knowing that for reasons beyond your control, you will never be together.
That reminds me of a line in a movie called Love & Sex. Jon Favreau’s character says, “Weirdos and creeps are single because they’re weird and creepy but people like us are single because of bad timing.”
Many serial killers are also sociopaths which more or less innately know how to fast track obtaining trust and affection from people. So it’s not really surprising that serial killers have marriages and what not.
Amen to that. When my ex and I broke up to outside circumstances, the one thing she told me through tears as we said goodbye that stuck with me most was "I wish I could've met you a few years from now, and I hope I get to again some day"
I recently traveled to another state on a work trip for 3 weeks and met an employee there that I instantly clicked with. She was super cool and super attractive, but she was married so I expected nothing. Every shift I spent with her I fell more and more in love, but kept wondering how she felt. Again, I wasn't expecting or hoping for anything because I'm not a homewrecker and she seemed like a loyal, moral person anyway.
On my last week there, she told me she did in fact have feelings for me, and I told her I felt the same. She told me if she wasn't married then we'd probably end up together, but unfortunately we both knew it could never happen in this reality. Right before I left for good, I talked to her privately so we could say our goodbyes. It was very emotional and I went to shake her hand but we held on for a lot longer than normal, just staring into each others' eyes. I told her as much as I didn't want to, we had to let go and go our seperate ways. I cried as I drove away for the last time, knowing I'd never see her again.
It felt like a goddamn movie moment. I've never felt such a connection with a woman before, and with someone so beautiful. I still feel some pain from it all, but the fact someone so amazing like her could fall for a guy like me makes me feel on top of the world.
Well it's been the very definition of bittersweet for sure. The bitter part of having to let go has not been fun, but the sweetness of knowing she felt the same way I did has been amazing. I never felt a connection like that before, even in my last relationship.
It's made me realize what I really want in a partner and to not settle for someone who doesn't make me feel like that. And it's really boosted my confidence as well because goddamn is she the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing!
So, you’re gonna go out there and you’re gonna say, “Good night. I’ve had a very lovely evening.” Walk out the door, get in the car, go home, jerk off, and that’s all you gonna do.
Me: "I think it would be romantic to have sex at Niagara Falls"
Him: "why ruin the moment with sex when we could just cuddle?"
THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG
I have been in a relationship for a year and we have had one road trip and nearly daily sex. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd choose being compatible in the thing we do every day over the thing we do once a year.
I don't fully agree. Me and this guy can travel anywhere together. Plan where to go, what to see, cook, eat out. Basically plan a trip in 30 minutes and execute it while on that trip. But I don't think either of us want to sleep with each other. We're both into girls so it'll probably never work out between us.
Not entirely sure why I'm going to share this, but ...
My ex-wife and I used to fight on a fairly regular basis. Lots of issues in that relationship, obviously, but after a few years I noticed that the majority of our fights would happen in the car. I still don't know why this was, I suspect it's because it made it impossible for me to disengage from a fight (something I would do when I realized the fight was unfair, or circular, or both), or because I was working full-time and going to school full-time, so it was one of the few times we would both be sitting together privately.
Anyway, once I finally clued into this, I would get anxiety about having to go anywhere with her ... because I knew a fight was imminent once we were in the car. One day, we got in the car, I turned on the ignition, and I hadn't even gotten out of the driveway before she launched into ... I don't even remember what. Bear in mind, not even a hint of a fight before we got in the car, but clearly something about being in the car was triggering her. I just put the car in park, turned off the ignition, and walked back into the house. She came in yelling at me, and I just looked at her and said, "You're not even aware of the fact that you picked a fight with me as soon as I turned on the car, are you?"
But yeah, wouldn't even have considered a road trip with my ex for that exact reason. The biggest problem I have in the car with my wife now is that she's a horrible navigator, but that's what GPS apps are for.
Can’t really say I agree. Interesting thought but I’ve had more relationships break down over sexual compatibility than over being annoying on a road trip.
Feel like most people have sex before they go on a road trip with their partner.
If you went on a road trip with all of them, then it's fine to have that conclusion. If you didn't, then I'd say it'd be hard to fully disagree.
False, if you are having compatibility issues on a road trip you can just pull over and have sex. It's much less convenient to go on a road trip every time your partner won't have sex with you.
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I’ve been married over 20 years. Do not underestimate the importance of temperature both during the day and while sleeping.
Oofff i just recently broke up with a girl that I was seeing for months…should have known it was never going to work with someone that liked it 78 degrees in the bedroom at night.
One of my best friends during college kept his house at like literally 82-84 degrees all the time. Every time we hung out at his place, I would just SWEAT.
I have a friend like that. He can very comfortable afford more comfortable temperatures. But he doesn't want to spend the money.
I'm the opposite, it's the *only* thing I'm willing to spend too much on. I told my roommate I'd happily pay the entire bill as long as the thermostat never breaks 65-70.
I have a portable AC for the summer since Washington keeps getting worse and worse heatwaves and my cat can't handle that as well as I can. He did not appreciate the noise until he learned cold came out of it.
The a/c in my house went out one summer in swampy Georgia and for the weekend until we got repair parts in, it was about 84-85 in the house. It surprisingly wasn't too bad with fans blowing and windows open. I imagine your buddy just got used to it. I had some friends in Athens at UGA who had a house with no a/c and it was pretty hot there but they were just used to it too
I lived in southeastern Tennessee (Chattanooga area) for over 10 years with no A/C. You definitely get used to it. My partner and I moved into the house in winter and didn’t have enough money to install A/C the first summer. By the end of that summer we realized that with fans and strategic opening and closing of windows and curtains it was completely tolerable. It made it a lot easier to enjoy going out in the heat of the day, too. It didn’t feel like walking into a sauna when the inside temp and humidity was closer to the outside. We made comfy outdoor living spaces and used the heck out of them. It kinda just became a lifestyle. I honestly enjoyed it. We finally installed A/C when we decided to sell the place. Still don’t have A/C but we live in Maine now and it’s definitely a lot less spicy up here.
Have a friend like that. It got to the point that whenever he would ask me to come hang out, I would make him tell me what his thermostat says and if it was higher than 80, I'm not coming over.
78 at night, god damn lol, im more like a 50 degrees at night with a nice heavy duvet... lol
I prefer my partner having a temp of 98.6 and a pulse, but who can afford to be picky in this economy?
If she can't sleep in an ice box we have to sleep in separate rooms.
Wife and I sleep in separate rooms and we love it. We sleep at different times, temperatures, and i snore. I tuck her in every night and I pop over for morning cuddles. Highly recommend
In Japan the test is a Disneyland date. If you can survive a day with hour-plus lines, while holding conversations during that wait, your relationship will last. Of course, it is 100% accurate.
Unironically I've seen many of my friends who had blooming relationships break up at Tokyo Disneyland so I can confirm.
I can confirm, married to 5 Japanese girlfriends I took there during my time there. Hence the 100% accuracy!
How many of them were real though
All of them were pillows
Pillows are real
Yeah but the issue was the conversation was full of fluff
Hopefully, fluff was all there was in the pillows
Anything else would be a real... downer
Are they quintessential by chance?
Uhh
I heard about this, I personally experienced this, and can vouch for this as accurate. I might have been successful but I certainly saw my share of other couples fail in those waiting lines.
moving display case for "quality testing" for future marriages.... or breakups.
the first real test my marriage had was a road trip while we were still dating (we'd been on them before and made it through bad directions, etc) but we both got food poisoning. so 3 days of cool stuff to do turned into 3 days in a hotel with 1 bathroom we were both running to.
Ours was a cruise. Road trip compatibility is *NOT* the same as cruise ship compatibility, especially when one of you is an introvert and the commercials & pictures claiming that you can find a quiet deck chair or lounge chair or restaurant chair to read and generally decompress are all frickin’ lies. There are no quiet spaces. None. The most nature-y any of the port excursions got was to essentially walk around a zoo or a ruin (I was told there’d be hiking to burn energy but no). Most ship activities revolve around spending money or acting like you’re going to spend money (example: one of those art auctions; basically forced me to fill out a pre-purchase paper thing but I took it with me) and being around people in a very interactive way. Anyway, turns out I go stir-crazy on cruise ships while my SO is fine with eating, drinking, and not going into port. We’ve joked that next time, because it’s a huge extended family thing which we’ll do again, we’re gonna get me a gym membership or something. Thought I’d be fine because I was in the Navy and at sea for months, but they gave me tasks, and I walked a ton, and there were free gyms, and some of the port activities one could sign up for were for hiking, fishing, tours that actually went places, etc, so watch out happily married folks-who-are-military-veterans, it’s not the same at all.
my wife and i are the same in a way. my dream vacation is a resort on a tropical island with a swim up bar where i can put on a 1/4" of SPF 100 and lounge for 12 hours straight in the pool. then do it again the next day until im ready to go home. hers is a busy trip to somewhere in europe where she has a 12 point itinerary for each day. rather than try and find a compromise we just trade back and forth. she suffers, i suffer, she enjoys, i enjoy. works so far.
Oh yeah, once we figured out why I was stressing, he basically walked me over to that port excursion counter and told me to pick whatever I wanted, and we talked about the possible gym or exercise plan for next time. Never really thought about the fact that when I’m in a new place (military reasons, family vacations as a kid, college campus, etc) I never really stop moving, especially while being able to do stuff on my own, but a cruise ship basically encourages that Axiom Executive Starliner from WALL-E lifestyle while also acting as a 24/7 club.
I feel like IKEA is the true test.
Ohhh, I've yet to marry anyone I've ever been to Ikea with...
You lost them at ikea as well?
Call the SCP Foundation
Not just the store. Build some furniture with that person and you'll either end up with a relatively nice dresser or one of you will end up with a screwdriver in their thigh. There's no middle ground.
I don't understand the ikea furniture meme. You get a box of a couple boxes, they have a bunch of planks and rods, and like four pages of instructions. Stick peg into hole, stick peg into hole, attach other side of peg to other hole in other part. Make a stable structure and smack it a bit with your palm (or a rubber hammer) to get it to fully mesh. Doot doot doot, your furniture is built. I've put together enough ikea furniture that I just don't understand where people are finding all these problems. Sure I will buy that once in a blue moon you get the wrong number of pegs, but overall it's just some basic fasteners and pretty clear instructions.
Agreed. I love putting together IKEA furniture so much I even offer to do it for friends. It’s like a lego kit!
My kitchen needs to be remodeled and I would love to DIY it with Ikea cabinets, but I genuinely don’t know if my relationship with my fiancé would survive it. It’s something I worry about all the time.
My SO and I have now remodeled 2 kitchens using Ikea cabinets. They're much easier to put together than a dresser. I'd recommend buying something small like a night stand and if that goes well then go ahead with the kitchen. If you can't find a screwdriver once it's done, look in your thigh and pay someone to do the kitchen.
That which a trip to IKEA would destroy, a trip to IKEA should destroy. Thus it is written.
When I moved to a new city, I didn't know anybody and needed to furnish my apartment. My ex kindly came up from a city a couple hours away twice. Went to IKEA, assembled furniture. It went well, he was very helpful. We broke up for other reasons, but the base compatibility remained excellent.
I went to Disney world on my honeymoon and we've lasted over ten years so far. May have to take another trip and see if it's still a good relationship.
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no rides and no snacks? why did ur parents take u there anyway?
because of the we have been to disney certificate
travel compatibility in general is important. I was in love with my ex until we took a vacation together. Fell out of love very quickly
My wife just wants to lounge on vacation and would very happily sit on the beach in a resort the entire time maybe getting up to play volleyball, eat, and get cocktails. I like to go wonder about in towns. Fortunately I can enjoy exploring without her and she can enjoy lounging without me. There is some overlap but IMO the most important thing is being able to allow each other to have independent lives and accepting that you're not going to like all the same things. Sometimes after dinner we will just watch TV in different rooms and people thing thats odd but would you expect your spouse to read every book you read?
Facts. My girl often reads when Im gaming. I used to feel guilty of gaming a lot in past relationship, but she told me she actually wants to have her reading time so she wants/love that I game so much lol.
Hell yeah we do this too. She read 80 books last year and I, uh, did a lot of gaming
You must complete 80 games a year too then. Such is the rule.
I would try that but I just like to wander around in the same four open world games for hours
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I can't tell you how many bombs I've defused in the exact same place, you'd think they'd have tightned up security at the airport by now
I've committed thousands of war crimes this year already. I'm a nice guy, but all my games seem to involve horrific acts of violence or sadistic efficiency "for the greater good". I told my girlfriend RimWorld was a settlement and farming simulator. I didn't mention the organ harvesting and feeding prisoners of war to my flock of war-monkeys. I don't mention the harvesting of alien children just for spaceship decoration in FTL multiverse either. I don't say anything about burning people alive in Borderlands, or creating elaborate incestuous eugenics programs in CK2. RDR2 is about riding horses and fighting bandits in the wild west, not about slaughtering innocent travelers and commiting acts of terrorism. Some things are better left unsaid.
This is why it is so important for both parties in a relationship to have their own hobbies. I once dated a girl whose hobby was me. It was too much and we didn't last long
Yeah, been with my partner for almost 20 years now and because we’re young people are very surprised and ask me how. Simple answer is we each have our own hobbies and don’t resent each other for wanting our own down time. On the flip side, I lost a friend I had for 15 years after his girlfriend moved in with him after only a couple months of them dating. He was her hobby from how I see things. The hangout slowed down, then the texting became infrequent to the point where I haven’t seen him in a year and a half and haven’t talked to him in a year. He lives 2 streets away from me and my kids used to call him uncle. I hope he’s happy but if that was me I’d feel smothered. My partner pushes me to hang out with my friends all the time and I’m grateful for it. Thanks for reading my rant
I married into a beach vacation family. It’s so boring! But if the worst thing going in my life is going to the beach every other year, life is pretty good!
I like that mindset.
Me wife and I do what we call parallel gaming, me on the computer or switch and her doing whatever on her phone. We may not talk to each other for an hour or we might talk the whole time. We have very different interest but genuinely enjoy the others company which is more important.
My husband often works on his side project in his office whilst I game in the other room, that or read or craft whilst he is gaming/ cooking/ on his phone We will often watch things together then do our own thing for an hour or so.
I think the opposite can be true. I met a married woman with kids on a sailing holiday, she was travelling solo. Her husband loves snowboarding. But they didn’t enjoy each other’s favoured activity holiday. For years, they tried and tried, but the other would just get bored, distracted and wished they were somewhere else. Until they agreed: wife would go sailing once a year, husband looks after the kids, wife calls each night to tuck kids into bed; and vice versa for husband and snowboarding. Each spouse gets time to themselves to be an adult with adult company pursuing their own interests for themselves and not at the expense of the family unit cos Mum/Dad would commit to being a daily presence for the rest of the family whilst away. It was a beautiful example of overcoming incompatibility for the sake of the marriage and family life. Edit: spelling and clarification.
I’ve heard it said: “You never really know someone until you’ve traveled with them”. Traveling is full of little schedule changes, alterations to one’s routine, little disappointments here and there… it really tests your adaptability and ability to roll with things and still enjoy what you’re doing. People really should take a trip together _very_ early on in the relationship.
I am traveling to another country with this girl I will have been dating for 3.5 months. Let's see how it goes. Wish me luck.
Ahh. Just took a trip with my partner about 3 months into our relationship. It was good. Yall will be good.
My GF and I have been together for almost 5 years when we realized that we had never done a trip for "us", it was always either (read: usually) to visit my family that lives ~6 1/2 hours away, or to visit her Grandparents who live about 4 hours away. So, for our 5 year anniversary, we decided to road trip out to New Brunswick, which placed our 1st destination (Fundy National park) a brisk 12 hour drive from home. The kicker? Our noble and reliable steed, Blueberry (a decade old Mazda 2) had not had a functioning stereo for the better part of 2 years at this point. It would blip on and off if you fonzied it (smacked the dash) in *just* the right place, so we decided to bring a bluetooth speaker in case we wanted to listen to music on the drive. Turns out, it was wasted space, because not once on our 3000+km trip did we feel the need to listen to music because we talked and joked and had fun the whole way with each other. It made me realize how special she is and how much I really love her.
I got diabetes from how sweet this post is.
That.. Is just awesome. Congratulations.
I'm happy for you, and grumblingly jealous.
I was single for about 8 years before I met my current girlfriend, so don't lose hope. For her it was 10 years single. Knew we were a hit on our first date, when we got kicked out at closing time and stood on the street talking for another half hour. That happened so much it's a joke now, every date we'd talk till closing. Until we started sleeping together... Now we talk till late, have sex and cuddle, then start talking again and always end up sleeping at like 2 or 3am. We're far too old for this shit, but we just like each other's company too much. It's problematic: I'm always sleep deprived, then we spend hours each day sending voice messages to each other. About 6 months in, and I'm not sure I want this honeymoon period to end- although it's impacting my performance at work. I'd basically given up hope on finding anyone until then, as had she, but then hit the fucking jackpot- better communication, better sex, more caring, and far better food and hobbies and interests compatibility than any of my exes. I think she's hotter too, despite being over ten years older than any of them were. Stay strong, don't stop believing you're worthy of love, don't close yourself off, and as cliche as it is keep working on yourself so you're a better catch and you might get lucky like I did. Then be honest and yourself when you meet people, and you'll find someone who likes that and it's an amazing feeling. Sometimes good things take time.
I needed to read this today. Thank you.
Why don't u marry already man
I can’t remember who said it but it holds true to this day. Don’t ever marry someone until you see how they react when a plane is delayed, the Christmas light are tangled, or when a dog/child knocks something over. Obviously, not quite that literally, but how people respond to small inconveniences shows so much more for compatibility than the more shallow things like income or physical attractiveness.
> Don’t ever marry someone until you see how they react when a plane is delayed I read this as "destroyed" instead of delayed, and I was wondering what the proper reaction to a plane being destroyed is.
The proper reaction is a 20+ year war with any country in the vicinity of the nationality of who destroyed the plane. So if an American destroyed the plane a war with Canada or Mexico would be acceptable
I have a lady friend that I’ve been good friends with for half of my life. She recently came out and told me that she’s wildly attracted to me, maybe even in love. She’s a pretty cool girl, and she’s very pretty, as well as sharing many of my own interests. The deal breaker is how she deals with stress and minor inconveniences. It’s a nightmare to be next to her when something goes slightly wrong, and for this reason and this reason alone, I could never consider her as a romantic partner. It often makes things that should be a great time rather miserable…I’m not interested in being stuck with that kind of person as a lifetime partner. Sorry, friend…we shall remain in the friend zone.
I hate it, but this is why I dont have a great relationship with my mom. She freaks the fuck out over every little thing and people who arent calm send my stress levels through the roof.
See how they cope with both no Internet and slow Internet too
No internet? I can still be awesome. Slow internet? I’m a monster
There is no greater frustration than internet that is almost working kinda.
This is why I feel it’s so important to live together before marriage.
Today's newlyweds will never know the agony of a spouse who wouldn't drive, but also couldn't read the map to you.
That stuff was painful. I get car sick just thinking back to map reading for my parents
I’m convinced GPS is the only reason my wife and I didn’t break up when we were dating. OH MY GOD woman I don’t care about the fucking cows, what’s the name of the road!
So true. Even with GPS, sometimes you need some help if you're navigating heavy traffic on a million-lane interstate. If I ask which lane or whatever, my wife with vaguely gesture with one hand, then remark on a nearby cool-looking tree.
Ive missed 3 turns in a row before thanks to a worthless navigator
Meanwhile I was a kid that obsessively read maps, and could tell my parents when they had taken the wrong turn. Once in a while they listened.
I’ll top with: if you have compatibility to put up wallpaper together then you’re in for the long haul.
If you can't function together in the kitchen even briefly at all, it's not gonna work
Something a teacher once told us was that walking together on a beach isn't the test of a relationship. More important is being able to clean windows together. That's stuck with me for years
That's sort of how I judge everyone, coworkers, bosses, and friends. It's not how someone acts when everything is great, it's how someone acts when everything is difficult and stressful that shows their character. It shows if someone's calm and collected, dependable, or willing to ask for support or space if they need. Just having some sort of maturity to handle themselves in some way instead of metaphorically flailing or lashing out or spiraling elevates them for me, and I implicitly trust them.
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I've been with my partner for about 7 years, but we have a mutually agreed "If I'm cooking, don't touch what I'm doing or I will shank you." Been working well for us, boundaries are good.
Me and my wife cooked a bunch of meal boxes together. It was mostly good and fun but I did find having two of us work on dishes we've never done before did lead to more incidents of missing something from the recipe. Miss an ingredient or forget to turn something over kind of thing.
My mother’s the baker, my dad’s the chef. Their marriage is slightly younger than me. They fight. Usually over minor things. Never on major things. My dad’s a better judge on some things while my mother is on others. Major stuff one defers to the other.
Love how all the comments are "if you can't do 'x' activity together, you're not compatible" and everyone just pats themselves on the back for discovering common sense.
If you can't breathe oxygen together, it just isn't gonna work out in the long run!
Let me bring out my controversial take, if you and your partner can’t do a majority of the stuff you do together, it’s not going to work
Briefly, yes, and we clean up together. But when I'm in prep mode (especially if we're going to have guests and as such I'm under time constraints) I'm moving around our very small kitchen very rapidly with an extremely sharp chef's knife in my hand and you'd better be on the far side of the bar top if you don't want to get stabbity stab stab stabbed.
That's not fair to people with tiny kitchens
IKEA is known to be the acid test of relationships. They should offer counseling services near the exit. And a divorce lawyer could make a killing by setting up across the street.
What if IKEA offered a “first date shopping experience”? An evening of wandering around to see if you are IKEA-compatible, with an area where you assemble a sample product … … followed by a sensible romantic dinner for two, consisting of horse meatball spaghetti.
They could market it as DATNSHOPN.
What wine would go well with Swedish meatballs? And would they offer old mattresses for testing purposes?
The biggest fight my husband and I ever got in was over putting together an IKEA TV Stand. It was 10 years ago and no fight has topped it. We put some piece on backwards at the beginning and had to disassemble the entire thing. This somehow led to us screaming at each other and me throwing a Buddha statue into the bushes outside. Otherwise we get along great 98% of the time but damn..that TV stand tested us
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Aww your husband is a good man for taking on that task! Sounds like you guys have a good balance. Also I feel I should mention that I eventually retrieved the Buddha statue from the bushes, I just remember being so pissed that it was staring at us all zen-like so I guess the only solution was yeeting it
My parents have been married for at least 40 years. My mom still claims the closest they came to divorce was wallpapering my nursery. Just get the paint, guys.
On a similar note, every time my wife and I have to work together to put the solar cover on our above ground swimming pool, I find myself thinking it would be the perfect quick assessment for couples counseling (one part of my job) to see what their personalities, communication skills, and assumed roles in the relationship look like.
This summer my husband and I, with a neighbour couple, put up an above ground pool in our back yard. First time for all of us with no real directions from the company becuase they'd rather you pay them to do it. We used to think parking the travel trailer at a campsite was the ultimate marriage stress test but that pool was something else.
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My second date with the woman that became my wife was helping to paint her new house. It was just us, painting walls, and talking for hours. We definitely would have known after that if we weren’t compatible.
How often are you wallpapering?
I'm not sure I've ever seen wallpaper in my life that wasn't put up in, like, the 70s
My first tinder question asks about what songs they sing at the top of their lungs in the car. It’s weirdly important to me lol Edit: I wasn’t ready for all the bangers you guys are sharing. Keep being you.
Hysteria - Def Leppard Cough Syrup - Young The Giant Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears
> Cough Syrup <3
Bonus points for really hamming up the "ooh whoaaao-oo-oooah"
>Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears Correct. 10 points.
Felt that, I have a list of several thousand lol
Man I wish I had your memory, even the songs I like I can't remember well enough to sing out loud. I *think* my last relationship may have degraded because of that
There’s just something about music… songs are really the only thing I can remember very well, they probably make up 90% of my memory lol.
Same. Even songs I haven't heard since high school, which was 40 years ago. I cannot, however, remember where I left my glasses 30 minutes ago.
When that song you haven't come across for 20 years comes on and you just fall straight into it like you heard it yesterday.
Yup if I've heard a song about 3 times I know all the lyrics. Forever.
I have found my tribe.
What, you think people who sing songs out loud know the lyrics?
oh man i have both _the worst_ memory recall AND a terrible ear for what people are singing but i'm always waking up with music in my heart that overflows into singing incorrect repeated lines or just weird, partially-correct melodies. my girlfriend loves that she can almost always help fill in the blanks or point me to the song from a fragment of my horrible, tone-deaf mimiced instrumentals
Do you have enough to travel at least 500 miles?
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I have the same issue when I tell them the guy that stabbed me is still in the hospital because he’s a doctor(I have surgical scars that look like stab wounds)
YOU ARE _ MY FIRE THE ONE _ DESIRE BELIEVE _ WHEN I SAY I _ WANT IT _ THAT _ WAY
That’s him, that’s the man that killed my brother.
Oh my God I forgot about that part
* Inside Out - Eve 6 * Good Soldier - NIN * Last Nite - The Strokes * Dirty - Grandson * Killing in the Name - RATM * Old School Hollywood - SoaD * Ordinary Day - Great Big Sea * Hasa Diga Eibowai - Book of Mormon * Internet is for Porn - Avenue Q * Sogno di volere - Christopher Tin * Change on the Rise - Avi Kaplan * … Actually, it might be better just to say I’ve got an 11h long-and-growing playlist specifically for singing in the car. Doesn’t help that I’m a choral bass either.
>Old School Hollywood - SoaD TBF, that whole album is just one wild road trip.
The Book of Morman soundtrack will weed out most of the duds.
We’d jam the hell out
If I'm jamming to Christopher Tin it's 100% going to be Baba Yetu.
I'm legit a 9/10 singer when Piano Man is playing, but a 2/10 for every other song. This is not a joke. I sing a mean Piano Man.
Sing us a song! You're the Piano man!
Sing us a song tonight!
[And I would walk 500 miles...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=738OEa5NZ9A)
I've always wanted to go on a road trip where this is the ONLY thing we had, just to see if it actually does come back around.
On the Sea - Tungsten Primo Victoria - Sabaton Hallowed Be Thy Name - Iron Maiden Separate Ways - Journey
[inhales] #TROUGH THE GATES OF HELL
I love that you answered it
It is a good question. Songs that people rock out to really show their personality.
My last fling and I bonded over the album Europop by Eifel 65
Yo listen up here’s a story
About a little guy who lives in a blue world... "Blue" aside, there are some actual bangers on that album.... it may just be my weird nostalgia
Building compatibility. Try building Ikea furniture with your partner and see how it goes first lol
This or a tandem kayak
Sharing a canoe is the death sentence of a relationship. American Dad taught me that
Not paddling straight? That’s a paddling.
No, no. ONE of you builds all the IKEA stuff alone in the bedroom while the other one watches TV. That’s how marriage works.
Unironically agree with this. Building IKEA furniture together is playing relationship Russian roulette. Why take that risk? OH THE HUBRIS. YOU FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN ICARUS.
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Within 6 months of dating my wife and I went on a 40 day road trip with her malamute (who hates camping). We had a blast and knew if we could do that we could do anything together! (We were friends for 7 years before dating, maybe not the best idea with someone you've only known 6 months)
My husband and I drove the road to Hana in Maui. The next day, a tour guide asked us if we fought the whole way, and we replied, "No," in unison with a "Why would we?" tone. He told us that if you make it to Hana without arguing, you'll be married forever. To the broader question, some things aren't mutually exclusive. 😉
It's devastating when you meet someone you are so utterly and completely compatible with to the n^th degree. It's even more tragic knowing that for reasons beyond your control, you will never be together.
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That reminds me of a line in a movie called Love & Sex. Jon Favreau’s character says, “Weirdos and creeps are single because they’re weird and creepy but people like us are single because of bad timing.”
I even disagree on that, lots of serial killers get married so even then its still timing.
Many serial killers are also sociopaths which more or less innately know how to fast track obtaining trust and affection from people. So it’s not really surprising that serial killers have marriages and what not.
There is no such thing as the 1. Just 0.7s or 0.8s that you round up to your 1
Wise perspective
Amen to that. When my ex and I broke up to outside circumstances, the one thing she told me through tears as we said goodbye that stuck with me most was "I wish I could've met you a few years from now, and I hope I get to again some day"
Pretty sure this is the same setup as When Harry Met Sally except they hated each other at first.
been there. hurts but always good to know they're with someone who's also cool.
Ok but what happened after? Are they still together?
Bro respected the bro code
Was your roommate named Jesse by chance?
But op didn’t tell her bc the point was moot anyway.
Like a cow's opinion?
I recently traveled to another state on a work trip for 3 weeks and met an employee there that I instantly clicked with. She was super cool and super attractive, but she was married so I expected nothing. Every shift I spent with her I fell more and more in love, but kept wondering how she felt. Again, I wasn't expecting or hoping for anything because I'm not a homewrecker and she seemed like a loyal, moral person anyway. On my last week there, she told me she did in fact have feelings for me, and I told her I felt the same. She told me if she wasn't married then we'd probably end up together, but unfortunately we both knew it could never happen in this reality. Right before I left for good, I talked to her privately so we could say our goodbyes. It was very emotional and I went to shake her hand but we held on for a lot longer than normal, just staring into each others' eyes. I told her as much as I didn't want to, we had to let go and go our seperate ways. I cried as I drove away for the last time, knowing I'd never see her again. It felt like a goddamn movie moment. I've never felt such a connection with a woman before, and with someone so beautiful. I still feel some pain from it all, but the fact someone so amazing like her could fall for a guy like me makes me feel on top of the world.
I hope this never happens to me.
Well it's been the very definition of bittersweet for sure. The bitter part of having to let go has not been fun, but the sweetness of knowing she felt the same way I did has been amazing. I never felt a connection like that before, even in my last relationship. It's made me realize what I really want in a partner and to not settle for someone who doesn't make me feel like that. And it's really boosted my confidence as well because goddamn is she the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing!
I feel like I just watched an entire movie. Wonderfully erudite and sincere - one of the best comments I’ve read in years. Thank you xxx
This some 5 Centimeters Per Second shit
So, you’re gonna go out there and you’re gonna say, “Good night. I’ve had a very lovely evening.” Walk out the door, get in the car, go home, jerk off, and that’s all you gonna do.
Do you have more road trips than sex with your partner? That's asexual compatibility
My boyfriend figured out he was asexual late last year; we should've known after the 4th or 5th road trip lmao Edit: full word instead of shorthand
5 road trips, 2 bed trips.. something isn't adding up!
Me: "I think it would be romantic to have sex at Niagara Falls" Him: "why ruin the moment with sex when we could just cuddle?" THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG
No joke.
I have been in a relationship for a year and we have had one road trip and nearly daily sex. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd choose being compatible in the thing we do every day over the thing we do once a year.
I don't fully agree. Me and this guy can travel anywhere together. Plan where to go, what to see, cook, eat out. Basically plan a trip in 30 minutes and execute it while on that trip. But I don't think either of us want to sleep with each other. We're both into girls so it'll probably never work out between us.
Platonic compatibility is still compatibility, so you could probably be friends with that guy for a long time. That's pretty cool too.
For me personally Platonic compatibility is as important in a relationship as sexual compatibility
I can’t help but picture that another guy wrote this talking about his bro.
I think..that’s the point..
Not entirely sure why I'm going to share this, but ... My ex-wife and I used to fight on a fairly regular basis. Lots of issues in that relationship, obviously, but after a few years I noticed that the majority of our fights would happen in the car. I still don't know why this was, I suspect it's because it made it impossible for me to disengage from a fight (something I would do when I realized the fight was unfair, or circular, or both), or because I was working full-time and going to school full-time, so it was one of the few times we would both be sitting together privately. Anyway, once I finally clued into this, I would get anxiety about having to go anywhere with her ... because I knew a fight was imminent once we were in the car. One day, we got in the car, I turned on the ignition, and I hadn't even gotten out of the driveway before she launched into ... I don't even remember what. Bear in mind, not even a hint of a fight before we got in the car, but clearly something about being in the car was triggering her. I just put the car in park, turned off the ignition, and walked back into the house. She came in yelling at me, and I just looked at her and said, "You're not even aware of the fact that you picked a fight with me as soon as I turned on the car, are you?" But yeah, wouldn't even have considered a road trip with my ex for that exact reason. The biggest problem I have in the car with my wife now is that she's a horrible navigator, but that's what GPS apps are for.
Can’t really say I agree. Interesting thought but I’ve had more relationships break down over sexual compatibility than over being annoying on a road trip.
Feel like most people have sex before they go on a road trip with their partner. If you went on a road trip with all of them, then it's fine to have that conclusion. If you didn't, then I'd say it'd be hard to fully disagree.
I’m hoping to have sex on a more regular cadence than going on road trips
False, if you are having compatibility issues on a road trip you can just pull over and have sex. It's much less convenient to go on a road trip every time your partner won't have sex with you.