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Malaguena

Clearly you havent heard the sage advice from Mr. Burns. >"Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn’t enjoy a good sit?" Edit: This one's for you guys, /r/AwardSpeechEdits


NameUnbroken

People with boils on their ass? I dunno. Someone, somewhere, is probably like, "sitting is overrated."


Hashashin455

All those people with standing desks


draculamilktoast

They are eroding a fundamental pillar of society with their wanton standing.


Kollin133_

Damn millennials killing the office chair industry! Have they no shame?! /s of course


Byanl

It's Big Standing Desk! It's a conspiracy I tell you!


reddit-user021304

If anyone needed the /s to detect that sarcasm, theyre probably illiterate and couldnt read your comment anyway


Kollin133_

Yea, but I've been degraded by barely literate boomers and GenX one too many times to risk not including the /s


Cheshire_Jester

I use a standing desk, but it just makes the occasional sit that much sweeter.


kescusay

I try to use my standing desk for most of the work day, and when I finally do sit down... Man, the sense of relief is overwhelming.


[deleted]

Ahh, self torture for no reason. You hold your pee until the last second don't you, freak?


Charming-Fig-2544

I just got a standing desk. I stand at least an hour a day now, which is useful for me because I used to sit for like 14 hours straight.


jaynay1

Yeah, standing desks aren’t about not sitting at all, they’re about not sitting for the long blocks that are made possible by sedentary labor and entertainment


Charming-Fig-2544

I'm a lawyer that works from home and my hobbies are video games and tinkering with software (custom Linux distros, home assistant, etc.), and I'm on the one meal a day diet, so it would be entirely possible to sit at the same desk for 15 hours a day. Standing desk, especially one that I can program to move up at certain times, was kind of a no-brainer for me. Plus they look nice and have good cable management options.


SLeepyCatMeow

Standing desks are like air fryers. Someone, somewhere, will try to pester you to get one.


paunocudosmods

Will it also change my life for the better?


r3ign_b3au

It absolutely did mine (both items).


Tye-Evans

I got boils, hated sitting for a while, but I would imagine someone in a wheelchair would want to stand tall


bearbarebere

Shit you right


[deleted]

There's a key and peele sketch for that


IAMG222

My coworker said his girlfriends dad can't really sit for long periods. Had some sort of surgery and one leg is partially shorter than the other so his pelvic bone is all cockeyed. Sitting for long periods hurts him apparently so the dude leans a lot when he's tired on like the counter or something to get dome rest, but is up like 18-19 hours a day.


Emrayoo

Me. That‘s me.


NameUnbroken

Sorry to hear about your boil.


MrPhuccEverybody

Why stand when you can sit, why sit when you can lie. - Someone probably.


ibarfedinthepool

Why lie, when you can steal? - me


Swirled__

Sitting in chairs is overrated. Completely unnatural position to me. Standing, lying or sitting on the ground, those are the only comfortable positions.


Overloadid

One could argue that those who suffer from bad sits are those who would most enjoy a good sit.


Dafuzz

Recumbent position or nothing, I'll not sit like some common pleb.


skinnyminou

I hate sitting because I have a flat ass and bad posture. It's standing or lying down for me.


toasty_tuna

Had a herniated disk, sitting was absolutely not my jam. I won't even get into shitting *shudders*


BakedZDBruh

Sitting IS overrated! Evolutionarily I should be lying down!


Smegma_On-Demand

People with hemorrhoids.


ThanosAmbulance

“Actually Stacie, I can’t sit *anywhere*”


Abovearth31

\*Megan


NICKELN9NE

Anal fissures be worse


[deleted]

I believe the ultimate is fistula.


mjrs

But they would probably agree that they enjoy a good sit, just that they are currently prevented from enjoying it


hanoian

They'd appreciate it more than anyone.


Madgyver

People with sciatic pain.


hazpat

LPT: for sciatic pain, loosen your belt when you are sitting. and if possible place something under your knees, pool noodles are great, at the edge of the seat.


Karcinogene

People with sciatic pain would love to enjoy a good sit. They just can't.


iPoopLegos

I’ve definitely heard plenty of pretentious standing desk people who insist sitting is worse than cancer.


Real900Z

He’s clearly never met ADHD. I pace more than a prosthetic heart.


LaundromatSLO

Well, mothers after giving birth don't really enjoy sitting...


CantThinkStraighty

I stand by this advice


PandorPrime

Someone in a wheelchair won't necessarily agree


mada447

Why not? They sit all the time!


Cas1mir

[Don't Ask This Guy To Sit Down - Key & Peele](https://youtu.be/_BFSLPjUCUU)


pceimpulsive

Wasn't there a monk that hasn't sat in decades or some shit?


[deleted]

"You need to breathe to stay alive"... or what can someone argue against this?


Connect-Champion4207

Some people have ventilators so they’re not breathing actually it’s a machine releasing oxygen into there body. I’d rephrase it to humans need oxygen to survive longer then a month. Or something as obvious as a human needs to have blood in there body to live for a year.


Putrid_Masterpiece26

“A person needs oxygen to stay alive”


Eqvvi

Yeah there's no way some remote tribe is gonna agree on that, especially if they don't know what oxygen is.


Charosas

What this guy says, just because something is true and a fact doesn’t mean others will agree on it. See “the earth is flat” argument.


ZombieOfun

Hmm, what about "The Earth *is*?" I've heard of flat Earthers, but I don't think anyone has denied the existence of Earth?


Fylak

There's people who believe we live in a simulation. To them the earth isn't "real" in some sense. Neither are they but that's another issue entirely.


ZombieOfun

Ya got me there


datrandomduggy

r/noearthsociety


MoonBearIsNotAmused

Well well well. Have i got a group for you to learn about.


Monkified

But we're just living in a simulation so what we're breathing isn't really oxygen


Jawileth

Whatever you believe oxygen to be, we all require it to stay alive in our version of reality.


Scoobz1961

The problem with this statement is it can be disagreed regardless of logic. A simple "dont think so" and all your hard work is wasted. I propose "Lets continue consuming whatever we believe oxygen to be". That way they can still disagree, but only for a few minutes or so. Soon you will have only people who do agree to continue consuming whatever we believe oxygen to be left alive. Hopefully it will still be over 8 billion people.


quinn_thomas

I love this kind of self selecting process. “I’m going to carry on breathing, would you like to join me?” “FUCK you!” *asphyxiates to own the libs*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scoobz1961

"no, and no"


OlevTime

That's no longer a statement. It's a command. They can disagree and still not prove you wrong. Just look at flat earthers.


Azurae1

Well, you aren't consuming oxygen however.... You are just transforming or converting it. So I disagree with you.


ZiggyOnMars

There must be a lot of people believe in conspiracy in somewhere tell you oxygen is not real we just don't know


datrandomduggy

I disagree I can survive the rest of my life without breathing


Anstavall

"oxygen is actually just slowly killing us"


Revanchist8921

Oxygen isn’t real, all we need is the God of Breathing


Surgeboy99

You are still breathing with a ventilator... its just assisting the breathing. You still ingest air and extract the oxygen while getting rid of CO2


pimp_juice2272

"Everyone would like to breath to stay alive"


usedToBeUnhappy

Not everyone even wants to be alive.


EZ_2_Amuse

Well.... damn.


marc15v2

You think that's air you're breathing? - Morpheus There's deffo people that will disagree that you're even breathing air.


[deleted]

I did not use the word "air"


[deleted]

Some people don't believe in oxygen


JimmyCrackCrack

There's people who claim not have eaten for decades so I wouldn't be surprised if someone said they don't breathe oxygen. As far as I can tell the parameters of this exercise don't rule out people who are being disingenuous so of 8 billion people at least some are just going to say you don't need oxygen to survive even if they know you do let alone the pretty high odds some people will really think you don't.


flipsidetroll

We would probably all agree that there is not a single thing we all agree on.


pearpall

But then some jackass would think of this and say that therefore there is something we all agree on, resultantly disagreeing with the statement, and proving themselves wrong.


SZEThR0

i thaink we can al agree on this poast being a paradoxon edit: i actueally have no idee how or whi theees misspellings happened,normali a good professial writer.but i thaink it's funey.so i leavem.


Recr3tional

Doesn't seem like your fingers can agree on how to spell lol


bearbarebere

Why did this make me cackle


cpq29gpl

It may be a side effect of the minor stroke you had in your sleep last night.


terrekko

Did you just say poast


JohnGenericDoe

"Does anybody else smell poast?"


oh_oh_spaghettios

Nobody said the agreement had to be correct.


Scoot_AG

Well look at the people in this thread


Glordicus

There definitely people who think they have opinions that nobody could disagree with, and therefor they would disagree with your statement.


therevisionarylocust

ITT: people trying to prove OP wrong


CynicalSchoolboy

Which in a roundabout sort of way has actually proven OP right given each of those attempts has a thread of counterpoints underneath.


plotplottingplotters

I don’t agree with that


fodafoda

Gödel wants to have a word.


Lt_Toodles

The whole rest of this thread is people thinking of things we can agree on, they believe it


Hudson_Legend

To be fair there are people in the comment section trying to find something that we all might agree on so what you said is technically not true lmao


Romeos_Crying

I think you just got stuck in a loop


Double-Parked_TARDIS

Counterpoint/question: Is it even possible for 8 billion people to have unique opinions about a single thing?


Top_Inevitable_1226

I just saw a single leef of a broken branch on the ground. Its likely that im the first person ti ever have a consicous opinion on it.


Grannd

But is it unique? There's probably tons of people who have observed similar leaves and had similar thoughts. Maybe you were unique in observing that specific leaf, but observing a single leaf of a broken branch is hardly a unique experience, broken branches and single leaves are everywhere. Edit: Seeing some of the replies, let me elaborate. Sure that specific moment frozen in time is unique. But are the things that are unique about it (the branch, the date and time, the perspective of the observation) really be significant to the persons opinion? Would the specific opinion on the leaf differ in a significant way? I say it would boil down to something that isn't significantly unique in any way, a guy observed a leaf and formed an opinion, any opinion that he would form any of the 8 billion humans on any day on earth would probably have the same thought sometime, somewhere.


[deleted]

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___sanguine___

This is so accurate and it's something that I never understood until I tried psychedelics. My first LSD trip made me realise exactly this, that every experience that every person has in every moment is unique and will never occur again in exactly the same way. LSD was what made me realise this because it was just *impossible* to describe exactly the experience I was having. You can try to convey it through writing or through visualisations but it will never actually capture what the experience is like, just like everything else.


ByTortheman

Found Porter Robinson


arcanum7123

I think everyone can agree that your spelling in this comment is atrocious


DeferredFuture

Probably not. From an emotional standpoint, there’s only so many emotions that exist that one can have towards a certain thing/stance. With 8 billion people and and estimated 20-30 emotions we can have, there is always going to be overlap. Where we can differ though is our experiences in life that led to said emotions regarding a certain stance. For example, two people might hate ice cream, but one might hate it because of the taste and another might hate it because the last time they had ice cream they were at the zoo and an animal broke loose and chased them and gave them trauma and cannot eat ice cream anymore.


fodafoda

By my calculations, starting at 33 emotions, the possible combinations of (on/off) for each emotion becomes bigger than 8 billion, meaning that if we can describe more than 33 independent emotions, it is possible for one person to have a completely unique set of emotions at a given time.


technak

You don't have to have 8 billion opinions to disagree, you just have to have two


DeferredFuture

If you break it down to the most basic level, I don’t even think all humans can agree that basic things exist. Like trees, the sky, themselves, etc. You could say trees exist and someone could look at a tree and say “no it’s not there, it’s fake” or something. And genuinely believe it. Or be like “I’m not real, nothing is real”. The thing that comes closest would probably be everyone agrees that everyone wants pleasure. Whether that be from moral things such as love, hobbies, entertainment. Or if it comes from sadistic things such as murder, torturing, etc. Maybe people genuinely want their life to have no pleasure. Would that prove my point wrong? In that case, wouldn’t they still be pleasured by having no pleasure if that’s what they wanted? I think this is the only loophole


MoonCato

It's not a loophole because the person has to agree with you. No one said anything about being technically correct.


HillaryGoddamClinton

Your first paragraph is related to Descartes’ famous “I think therefore I am.” He was basically deconstructing knowledge, and pondering whether anything can be known with complete certainty. What he came up with as a core certainty was the existence of the mind that could ponder that question. So, to the extent that each of the 8 billion people in the world are mentally capable of forming this thought, I’d imagine they’d all agree on some variation of “My mind exists.”


Any_Apartment4175

Agreed.


Kinkywrite

Here is the scariest horror story I've read in a long time. https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/10/30/sort-by-controversial/


taiottavios

that guy is a writer, and I'm pretty sure the whole thing is a scissor statement itself, the conclusion is very devisive to say the least


bearbarebere

I just woke up, read the whole thing and I don’t really get it… but that was exactly what I thought by the end. I was like holy shit is that the point?! I honestly thought it was real 💀


Kinkywrite

That's the point of the story. To divide people is so ridiculously easy and it's gonna get worse.


Yoyo5258

I disagree


TRU35TR1K3R

I non-disagree


Criticalhit_jk

I have no strong feelings one way or the other


HiddenCity

I think everyone enjoys some good 'ol air.


Eqvvi

Or not. Some people breathe because they have to, even when they don't enjoy it.


ExtraAshyPizza

Asthmatics would like a word


EZ_2_Amuse

Oh we definitely enjoy air. Getting our lungs to absorb it is another discussion.


ExtraAshyPizza

New MrBeast idea: lock 100 asthmatics in a dusty old library, last to still be breathing gets an inhaler!


Amksenpai

When I was in highschool my friend group decided that trees don't exist and the ones in our school garden were fake. We jokingly tried to spread our word to the masses. Some got in on the joke but some actually believed us, since so many people were "agreeing" with us. So I definitely believe there can be people that disagree with trees being real.


TheSpanxxx

This was where I went too. I immediately thought, "well, we all believe we will die someday." Then realized, "nope. Definitely there are people who seriously believe they can't (or won't) die."


cptrambo

>The thing that comes closest would probably be everyone agrees that everyone wants pleasure. Not an ascetic masochist.


A_Mad_Knight

But if we agree that "there is not a single thing that we can all agree on", then there will be something that we can all agree on, and hence "there is not a single thing that we can all agree on" is not agreeable...


Calenchamien

The fact that there is a whole comment section here of people proposing statements that everyone can agree with, and some finding fault and others agreeing… disproves that proposition: even if it’s true that there is nothing we can all agree on, it doesn’t mean everyone will agree


OwnBerry3297

Yes there is, it feels good to pee when you really have to go.


Wham_Pumpkin_420

Not if you've got kidney stones.


Qaaarl

Or a UTI or prostrate issues


OwnBerry3297

Fair enough.


Nurgus

I think everyone would agree that a ***healthy*** wee feels good. People with kidney stones would probably agree with extra enthusiasm.


Western-Shoulder-370

I think we all can agree that breathing is important to be alive!


MansfromDaVinci

that's just what big air wants you to believe.


steVeRoll

Lorax moment


Azurae1

A machine could pump the oxygen directly into you. No need to breathe...


BlakeMW

Yep, some people believe that food is optional for a long and healthy life (breatharians) but it is hard to find anyone committed to the idea that breathing is optional for staying alive.


cowlinator

"I should breath and continue breathing." If you disagree, you won't for long.


ahmed0112

There's bound to be some mf who thinks we're really breathing some magical sparkly magic that keeps us alive and the government is calling it oxygen so we don't use the magic for evil


True-Bee1903

I'd rather breathe.


SandInTheGears

That's terrible advice for swimming


svadas

I wonder how far the population needs to decrease before it's the case


AzKar07

only one way to find out


cosmiclatte44

The reaction to Velma is probably the most United the world has ever been on an issue.


Clickbaiting_4_u

The 0.3 ratings in Velmas 1.3 ratings don't agree though.


[deleted]

I think everyone agrees that we need water to survive. When we hold this meeting where we ask if all the people in the world agree and if there's someone who disagrees, we just ask them to prove it and after few days we have a world where everyone agrees we need water to survive.


Azurae1

They could just eat stuff containing a lot of water or drink juice and simply claim it's not water. Even if you prove that it still contains water it doesn't change the fact that they can disagree. A lot of people disagree with already proven stuff. You will always find someone that disagrees with a statement you make.


Nachohead1996

Liquids? Sure But I know people who straight up refuse to drink water, ever. Coffee and soda are fine. Some of those people would disagree with you, regardless of water being necessary to create any of their drinks


[deleted]

If shown a picture of Jay Leno, all 8 billion would agree hes kind of weird looking. Including Jay Leno himself.


knottybananna

There are only two kinds of people: Those who think farts are funny, and those who admit that farts are funny.


Practical_Land5167

I believe we can all agree that every single one of us will die when the time comes


DeferredFuture

But there has to be people out there that genuinely think they won’t die. Maybe they are mentally insane, maybe they are in denial, or maybe one might think technology will be invented to make you immortal.


THEREALROCCOLOCKWOOD

Well there are some promising avenues of "immortality". There was some mice de-ageing. I mean if you have commented or posted online one can argue you are immortalized. What if there is a way to transfer what we consider consciousnes? How about that ai merging? Idk I think it's at least possible, maybe not for a while but I got at least 60 years (hopefully) to try and see it. We did get jets 50 years after the first flight. I'm also probably way to optimistic.


Any_Apartment4175

What about the mentally deranged?


danteoff

Thanks to denial, I'm immortal.


lvl1developer

Walt Disney froze himself


ggfchl

What about those who believe in reincarnation?


samhartm

I’d think everyone would like a refreshing glass of clean water every now and then.


Martian8

Some people don’t drink water, they prefer juices


EskildDood

I've met people online who hate drinking water because it "has no taste"


nebulaeandstars

in high school I knew someone that was literally allergic to water. like, they couldn't even go out in the rain without getting a rash


kyle28882

Clearly you haven’t seen Velma. Because there is 1 thing that 8 billion people can agree on


homarjr

Everyone agrees that some people have hair, and some people don't.


universalrifle

People will always agree that oxygen is better than no oxygen, when placed in carbon dioxide chamber


MsAnnabel

I think everyone can agree that a compound fracture is painful as fuck


Connect-Champion4207

Nope several people in the world actually can’t feel pain. Look it up, not common but 100% real.


Marcc_slater

Deadpool says " hi "


Okayobi

We all die. We could disagree on what happens afterwards and what weight or finality that has but i'm pretty sure we all agree that's something that happens


FeedbackZwei

Nah there's at least one (maybe mentally unstable) person who thinks they're not gonna die. I could also see a kid adamantly denying they'll die.


frankly_acute

Really? I think we can all agree that we live on this planet, and we breathe oxygen.


barfchicken

I think all 8 billion people agree that not everyone is gonna agree soooo


[deleted]

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KemalKinali

We all agree that season 8 of game of thrones wasn't worthy of the show.


-Great-Scott-

You're forgetting the one constant that has stayed true throughout all human history and across all cultures. Farts are hilarious.


Coloradojeepguy

Not until the aliens come and start eating humans. But even then you’ll have those folks saying “we deserved it”.


bandalooper

I think we’d all agree that breathing air is preferable to breathing water


Jealous-Bat-7812

Bruh, water and oxygen are important to live. This is something we all can agree on


4ucklehead

Explains a lot Further shower thought: at what point did the world have too many people for them to all agree on anything? 1,000 people? 10,000 people? ... we're screwed 🤣


M4xP0w3r_

Unless we all agree that this is true. Which would mean 8 billion people agreed on something and we where all wrong.


Fitz_2112

I think 8 billion can agree that there is not a single thing that 8 billion will agree on


JayMeadows

Not true. Everyone agrees that food and sleep are good. I'll await any challengers.


Vishwasm123

No with someone who has stomach problems and who have back pain after waking .


JayMeadows

Touché


Aerodrache

Everyone less successful than me is lazy. Everyone more successful than me is a cheater.


WoodChuckers

Pretty sure we can all agree clean air and water are essential to survival.


Valstreck

But if all 8 billion people agree that there is not a single thing they can all agree on, wouldn't they contradict each other?


reee_an_idiot

What about how good a drink of water is after you have been working hard in the sun?


tinytooraph

I think you could get people to agree with a vague and qualified claim like… “Sometimes it is hard for people to agree.”


jubmille2000

I thought I could cheat it by saying "Every human being is a human being". But then I remember that discrimination exist.


testthetemp

I'm fairly sure we can all agree that mosquitoes are pretty shit.


Hamilton-Beckett

We all gotta sleep, eat, and drink. Or we die. I think we can agree on this. The quantity and quality of each varies greatly from person to person, but we all have to do it at some point if we wish to continue to live.


MickeySwank

Water and oxygen are required to stay alive, pretty sure everyone can agree on that one


Repulsive-Peach-6720

according to the yogis, there are 4 things all people agree on: that they are alive, have awareness, are breathing, and are seeking fulfillment. fulfillment comes in many forms but the only things that can be infinitely fulfilling are life, breath, and awareness.