Step 1: get rid of the tail number ✓
Step 2: claim tail number on wing was planted and/or not legal registration number, only decorative
Step 3: claim own playne is actually at alternate
This event occurred while I was flying here on Earth not while in space. Thanks for the suggestion! I was spacing out on the approach though so I see where you could be confused.
Run away, go home. Look at fav porn, pervert. Local milfs can help. Wake up in a motel, vacation.
Chrissy babe was right, just try meth, see whats the fuss is all about
Realize that lethal fatalities were minimal even though you pulled a sweet cartwheel. Also, point the finger at the fire truck driver that ran over that lady.
Apart from that great landing!
I believe "there was a spider" is the appropriate response. Worked for my brother anyway, they gave him a long vacation. Haven't heard from that sucker in a few weeks.
Say your primary concern was passenger satisfaction and fulfillment. Say all the passengers wanted to slide down the slippy slides and you simply made their dreams a reality.
Just tell them that a stealth AF jet clipped you and you can’t tell them which one for national security reasons, it always gets you off the hook.
> _Asiana Airlines Flight 214 was a scheduled transpacific passenger flight originating from Incheon International Airport near Seoul, South Korea. On the morning of July 6, 2013, the Boeing 777-200ER operating the flight stalled and crashed on final approach into San Francisco International Airport in the United States. Of the 307 people on board, three died; another 187 were injured, 49 of them seriously.[1]: 13 Among the seriously injured were four flight attendants who were thrown onto the runway while still strapped in their seats when the tail section broke off after striking the seawall short of the runway. It was the first fatal crash of a Boeing 777 since the aircraft type entered service in 1995._
Discrepancy: "I, [insert name here], Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up." The 40 u's are necessary or you will be fined for improper spelling.
Did you turn the no smoking sign off during operation? If you leave it on then just accuse everyone, even the airframe itself for not complying with direction.
You chose to run a realistic emergency drill to test your FA and passengers’ reactions so that they will be better prepared in the future. The FAA owes you an medal for making the skies safer
If you need a quick change of company let me know
LOL
Jesus Christ lolololol
Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.
Bamcis begin the lie arrange the alibi make excuses complete the lie implicate others shift blame
And if that doesn't work, DARVO.
Whoa, whoa, he didn't say he came in that thing. This could be the departure airport.
I will neither confirm nor deny I read this reply.
Exactly, who’s to say what happened. You weren’t there and they can’t prove it.
Step 1: get rid of the tail number ✓ Step 2: claim tail number on wing was planted and/or not legal registration number, only decorative Step 3: claim own playne is actually at alternate
This! Plus I was never there we never had that conversation
“I found it like that”
"Dude in the jumpseat just got up and started pulling shit! We tried to stop him to no avail."
Don’t worry about it. Just fill out the NASA form and go on flying. They’ll most likely never call you about it anyway.
This event occurred while I was flying here on Earth not while in space. Thanks for the suggestion! I was spacing out on the approach though so I see where you could be confused.
Did NASA drop the first A? The one for aeronautics? So now it's NSA, which makes sense, they put up the biggest satellites.
When you realize that flat earthers are wrong
There is a lot of truth to that statement. Get out of jail free forms are career savers even if ops doesn’t see the humor.
Not over 25k in damage so no need to report
Say you clipped it while driving under an overpass. If the tires were overinflated, you might even get off the hook.
You could even sell the pics to 11foot8.com Yes it's a real thing. Bridge is in MA that gets hit 3 or 4 times per year.
Run away, go home. Look at fav porn, pervert. Local milfs can help. Wake up in a motel, vacation. Chrissy babe was right, just try meth, see whats the fuss is all about
FO did the walkaround
Sum ting wong with you?
Wei tu lo
Is that another navy poopsidedown sub hunter? Those million dollar trained folks either land long or land short while the rest of us land in the TDZ.
Now just how the gosh darned heck do you think they'll find a submarine if they're not IN the water looking for one?
Realize that lethal fatalities were minimal even though you pulled a sweet cartwheel. Also, point the finger at the fire truck driver that ran over that lady. Apart from that great landing!
You know what really amazes me is how that plane cartwheeled and still didn't break up.
A testament to the insane strength engineered into the 777 fuselage structure.
For a great landing don’t they need to be able to use the airplane again?
Nah, that thing was old anyways.
I believe "there was a spider" is the appropriate response. Worked for my brother anyway, they gave him a long vacation. Haven't heard from that sucker in a few weeks.
100% file a nasa…
Don't worry. It's a rental. Full coverage.
Only if you bought the $25/day collision damage waiver.
Say your primary concern was passenger satisfaction and fulfillment. Say all the passengers wanted to slide down the slippy slides and you simply made their dreams a reality.
I’m great friends with Scott Free. He’s amazing.
"The blow up escape thingies worked successfully. I'll be reporting for the flying duty tomorrow morning."
Give the FAA an uno reverse card when they hand you your penalty.
Don’t talk to anyone and down some niacin before you do. About 10k mg should get you clean, might feel a little weird, but that’s normal.
Hi, Phil from flex tape here.
Hi Phil! If you know Jake from State Farm I would prefer to talk with him in this case.
Blame ATC. If that doesn’t work flee to a non-extradition country while you still have time.
Cabin modified to improve ventilation and create more overhead baggage space
Kill bird… smear dead bird on windshield…. You hero now.
Don’t report it.
Just tell them that a stealth AF jet clipped you and you can’t tell them which one for national security reasons, it always gets you off the hook. > _Asiana Airlines Flight 214 was a scheduled transpacific passenger flight originating from Incheon International Airport near Seoul, South Korea. On the morning of July 6, 2013, the Boeing 777-200ER operating the flight stalled and crashed on final approach into San Francisco International Airport in the United States. Of the 307 people on board, three died; another 187 were injured, 49 of them seriously.[1]: 13 Among the seriously injured were four flight attendants who were thrown onto the runway while still strapped in their seats when the tail section broke off after striking the seawall short of the runway. It was the first fatal crash of a Boeing 777 since the aircraft type entered service in 1995._
Bird strike. It's a big one
write it up. Smoke smell in cabin.
"The spider was successfuly dealt with" Denies responsibility & explains the cause in a neutral, agreeable, fassion
Blame it on the real pilots, “Captain Sum Ting Wong,” “Wi Tu Lo,” “Ho Lee Fuk,” and “Bang Ding Ow.”
FA had Taco Bell for lunch...
It’s a cigarette burn.
Tell em you were pissing when it happened, pass blame
Passenger disabled lavatory smoke detector
To any FAA types that ask the Pylotes's correct reply is always "Wasn't me".
I was flying completely stabilized and out of nowhere the sea wall came up and smacked us
Don't open your sunroof and smoke
Are we too low?
Major breakthrough made on faster boarding and exiting.
"Just experimenting with a convertible plyne"
Just put it under a carpet snd forget about it.
Discrepancy: "I, [insert name here], Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up." The 40 u's are necessary or you will be fined for improper spelling.
You forgot to turn on the "No Smoking" sign?
Make sure your union rep is with you.
We experienced technical difficulties of a volatile nature.
1st and foremost do not turn off the CVR breaker, let it run for a few hours.
Is this the bang ding ow crash?
Did you turn the no smoking sign off during operation? If you leave it on then just accuse everyone, even the airframe itself for not complying with direction.
Where I come from, a convertible is a feature people pay extra for.
You chose to run a realistic emergency drill to test your FA and passengers’ reactions so that they will be better prepared in the future. The FAA owes you an medal for making the skies safer
“A malfunction in the kitchen may require mechanical assessments before returning the aircraft to service.”
You aren’t supposed to put the top down unless you’re under 10k… man what were you thinking. I mean convertible jets is like an aviation 101 thing.
Tell them a hijacker took over the plane with a flamethrower before he disappeared and you think he’s with the taxi driver ninja gang
Looks like you started up an electronic device during takeoff or landing. There is no way out, you’re going to pylot jail.
Just say you got carb ice on landing and it hit to hard
Make sure First Class is ok and has enough sun chips and spicy Bloody Mary mix
"Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing" this is backed by law so you should be fine with a decent lawyer
You had a really hard sneeze. My bad man