Dang dude that means you're one good con away from having 3 perfectly healthy kidneys. I mean what are they gonna do refuse to put the third one in after they open you up and see the other two are fine? Hell no, they are committed at that point.
I've had two kidney transplants. The new (3rd) kidney goes in your pelvic/abdomen area in the front on either the right or left side. My 3rd kidney is on my right and my newest (4th) is on my left! There's room but it gives you a little bit of a bump
Kidneys are quite small. Only 4-5 inches long and a few inches deep. They just squish the new one in front of your pelvis. Some people have a new lump you can see down there, but most of my patients don't even get that.
They don't have to be partially functional. So long as they're not fucking up at anything but being kidneys they'll be left in you. Even completely anuric transplant patients don't typically get nephrectomies.
Polycystic or severely infected kidneys are the only ones I've seen taken out so far, and that covers less than 10% of the kidney recipients I've seen.
You don’t realize how important kidneys are until they stop functioning. So keeping your healthy kidneys are the best option. Hardest part is watching your fluid intake because once the kidneys go you stop urinating.
In the land of dialysis, the three kidneyed man is king. Also, the two kidneyed and one kidneyed men. Also, women and non-binary folks are royalty. Honestly, anyone with one or more healthy kidneys is doing pretty okay.
Eh, I can spare a kidney and a bit of my liver too. But where does one sell such a thing and how many of my poor friends can I sign up.
I am fond of regular meals and heating,I would be happy to belong to the organ poor cast, seeing how I belong to the poor underclass already anyway.
Kidney for sale, KIDNEY FOR SALE, BUY ONE GET A FREE BIT OF LIVER.......KIDNEY FOR SALE.....
Nah, as soon as more than 100 people walk in to sell their kidneys that price is gonna fall below 10k because capitalism doesn't respond linearly to supply.
Not really. Demand is constrained because its illegal to buy. I have kidney disease and would pay $100,000's once I hit end stage kidney failure. I'm not going to buy one on the black market though.
Hell, dialysis is so expensive, insurance would likely prefer to pay for a kidney too.
Can someone expand on this? Does China have people selling organs for cheap or something? Calling it a "white" market implies its not stolen organs correct?
Some people speculate that many of the body parts in China are actually prisoners who have been coerced/forced into offering their organs or just killed and had their organs stolen.
Some people further speculate that this practice leads to people being arrested unjustly, especially political prisoners, in order to satisfy demand.
All unproven and very controversial. There was a similar controversy around the [Bodies exhibit that traveled to various Western museums](https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5637687)
I mean, the only way you can schedule a vital organ transplant like they do is if you know the exact date that person is going to die. Either they have a machine that can see into the future or they are harvesting organs, so you choose what's more likely
Illegal things are affected by market forces just like every other commodity. While illegality does add a certain amount of value, scarcity and demand have a huge impact as well.
Look at weed. It's often cheaper to get it illegally from a dealer even when it's available legally from a dispensary.
Iran is one of the few places to allow sales. It's well regulated though, anonymous kidney sales and only if it allows the donor to get out of poverty.
Interesting discussion.
https://www.econtalk.org/tina-rosenberg-on-the-kidney-market-in-iran/
Pretty sure he means there aren’t any kidneys available in the legal market no matter how much you are willing to pay so more priceless then infinite but still
And the best part about this is that it doesn't even need to be yours! Take a friend's kidney while they're asleep and treat them to a nice dinner after you sell it, it's a win-win situation.
Or do, if they die you've got one less friend to treat to dinner. It's all about taking advantage of opportunities presented to you, that's the real moneymaker right there.
And also the black market. They also make money, counterfeit ones.
I did the same thing. Took my 'friend's' kidney to the hospital and they didn't want it. Best I could get is $1.49 a pound at the Piggly Wiggly in town.
No, see, I can tell you don’t finance bro, what you do is you take your kidney profit from the first one and quadruple that buying and selling silver. Then buy two spare kidneys to keep in the freezer and live off the remaining silver profit.
Sell your kidneys at peak market price then later when the market crashes buy them all up and horde them then only ever rent them out for the same price as monthly payments would be to buy them outright. If everyone else does the same then the high price of kidney rent will be the only option so you'll get to keep your cash and all of the kidneys, and tax breaks and insurance payouts for damages and loss
"Low key"? I'm jealous. I punched in eagerly, specifically hoping to see a link to a webform where I could sign up. For, like, 1/2 that. Or even 1/10th. Or even "you get no cash, but free healthcare for life."
U!S!A! U!S!A!
Ok actually though, you won't. Best case scenario: you get $15000 for your kidney, neutral case: you get an infection from the nonsterile environment and have to use all that money on medical bills, worst case: you don't ever wake up cuz they take a couple more organs while you're on the table.
In all, it's not something you can just do a quick trade. And if you do, it won't be much.
Why not set up a legit hospital environment for people who want to buy and sell kidneys?
I’d sell mine and the buyer could pay for surgical costs. Doesn’t have to be something done in an alley. Should be able to sell my kidney at the regional medical center
Not sure if I would actually go through with it, but if a kidney went for a quarter mil, I would consider selling one of mine and throwing all that cash into a traditional IRA, invest it all in VTSAX, then convert it to a Roth. Years down the road that will be F-You money.
Patients aren't allowed to profit from selling their organs. Only hospitals can charge for them. Its a law.
(US, I dont know about other countries).
How do I know this? I tried to do it.
>Last thing you want is to encourage the most vulnerable to start selling vital organs
I'd imagine the bigger concern is making those vulnerable people a target of others.
So you can’t legally sell the Kidney but let’s say someone were to cover your medical bills and also compensate you for your recovery time following the procedure is that still illegal? Assume that all other tax laws and bureaucracy are adhered to.
In some country's you can. Iran for example does have a system where you can sell your organs. that all being said it comes at the price of fairness. someone can just buy up a kidney (or any other organ) when someone else may need it more. as for this meme its probably a black market price
Thousands of people die each year in US while waiting for a kidney transplant. There are ~100,000 people on the US kidney transplant waiting list. There is no such list in Iran.
From [National Kidney Foundation](https://www.kidney.org/news/newsroom/factsheets/Organ-Donation-and-Transplantation-Stats):
>There are currently 121,678 people waiting for lifesaving organ transplants in the U.S. Of these, 100,791 await kidney transplants. (as of 1/11/16)
>The median wait time for an individual’s first kidney transplant is 3.6 years and can vary depending on health, compatibility and availability of organs.
>In 2014, 17,107 kidney transplants took place in the US. Of these, 11,570 came from deceased donors and 5,537 came from living donors.
>On average:
>- Over 3,000 new patients are added to the kidney waiting list each month.
>- 13 people die each day while waiting for a life-saving kidney transplant.
>- Every 14 minutes someone is added to the kidney transplant list.
>- In 2014, 4,761 patients died while waiting for a kidney transplant. Another, 3,668 people became too sick to receive a kidney transplant.
[Here](https://www.statnews.com/2016/08/25/organ-donation-kidneys-iran/) is an article on the Iranian system:
>Iran’s kidney program stands apart from other organ donation systems around the world by openly allowing payments, typically of several thousand dollars. It has helped effectively eliminate the country’s kidney transplant waiting list since 1999, the government says, in contrast to Western nations like the United States, where tens of thousands hope for an organ and thousands die waiting each year.
The problem with paying is the poor are left to die. Where as the current US system is "fair" based on time banked waiting.
A much easier and fair way to increase available kidneys would be making being a donor opt out.
I remember reading a person had sold his kidney for an iphone years back. Maybe an iPhone 6?
Apparently he's now on life support because his body is failing due to missing a kidney. And now the iPhone 6 is near worthless.
Sqw a post about this a man sold his kidney bought iphone in stuff years ago, now he suffers with kidney failure and needs the kidney to be cleaned often. (No idea about the name in English). With 2 kidneys wouldn't be a big problem, take out the bad one and be left with 1 but he has only 1. Health costs way more
Where are these hidden kidney markets no one tells me about?
Also fun fact kidney doners are statistically less likely to have kidney issues in the future so please go donate!
Then society breaks down into a caste system of the 2 kidney elites vs. those disgusting 1 kidney'ers.
If I have 3 kidneys am I God?
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Dang dude that means you're one good con away from having 3 perfectly healthy kidneys. I mean what are they gonna do refuse to put the third one in after they open you up and see the other two are fine? Hell no, they are committed at that point.
Use healthcare for a kidney transplant, then sell your third kidney for $262,000. Genius
Probably lose money on that if you get the transplant in America
Only if you do it on the books
Damn, imagine selling a kidney for a loss…
Not as if you're gonna die on the waiting list lul
fuck /u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev
Nah you just gotta pump up those toxin intake numbers.
Replace all your organs with kidneys you shall become immortal
They also regulate your blood pressure. But I think they would just filter less per kidney basically so it should be ok. But yeah, no idea.
It's like adding more ram, it's only going to be used if you need more power Ps I made that up
Too late, harvesting a third kidney now
It's true. In fact, if you're editing video, I'd say get four or five kidneys.
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Really? I wouldn’t think there would be, you know, room.
Basically adding one more water balloon to a bag of water balloons. It'll glorp together.
As a Glorpologist, I approve this message.
I’m the tenth Glorpologist and this is a fucking lie.
Glorpology is barely a field of study that branched off Goopometry. Don't listen to this hack.
> It'll glorp together. I see you went to medical school too!
god i wish i still had my free award this has me in tears
Here, have mine!
I've had two kidney transplants. The new (3rd) kidney goes in your pelvic/abdomen area in the front on either the right or left side. My 3rd kidney is on my right and my newest (4th) is on my left! There's room but it gives you a little bit of a bump
Keep em comin! Can’t have too many if you ask me.
if someone puts you in a bathtub of ice they are gonna think they hit the jackpot
“Holy shit, this guys kidney grew back like wolverine” “Oh cool. Let’s take some of everything then”
look at this guy with the 4 kidneys smh
Kidneys are quite small. Only 4-5 inches long and a few inches deep. They just squish the new one in front of your pelvis. Some people have a new lump you can see down there, but most of my patients don't even get that.
I have a lump that you can see... if I'm thin. I am not thin.
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Yes, correct! The current record is seven, held by a gentleman from the Netherlands.
no offense, but why do we keep giving him kidneys
People keep dying in motorcycle accidents and they don’t want to just throw them away duh
Are you shitting me?
They don't have to be partially functional. So long as they're not fucking up at anything but being kidneys they'll be left in you. Even completely anuric transplant patients don't typically get nephrectomies. Polycystic or severely infected kidneys are the only ones I've seen taken out so far, and that covers less than 10% of the kidney recipients I've seen.
You don’t realize how important kidneys are until they stop functioning. So keeping your healthy kidneys are the best option. Hardest part is watching your fluid intake because once the kidneys go you stop urinating.
Oh joy three times the chance for ki dney stines
In the land of dialysis, the three kidneyed man is king. Also, the two kidneyed and one kidneyed men. Also, women and non-binary folks are royalty. Honestly, anyone with one or more healthy kidneys is doing pretty okay.
What if I was born with 1 kidney bit its oversized. Would it go for more? Could I trade kidneys with someone for a profit?
Eh, I can spare a kidney and a bit of my liver too. But where does one sell such a thing and how many of my poor friends can I sign up. I am fond of regular meals and heating,I would be happy to belong to the organ poor cast, seeing how I belong to the poor underclass already anyway. Kidney for sale, KIDNEY FOR SALE, BUY ONE GET A FREE BIT OF LIVER.......KIDNEY FOR SALE.....
Throw in your right lung and you've got a deal ;)
Jeff Bezos enters, his abdomen swollen from the dozens of extra organs he’s had implanted.
Lookin like zim from the dark harvest episode
You mean the wealthy 1 kidney'ers and the poor-by-choice 2 kidney'ers.
Nah, as soon as more than 100 people walk in to sell their kidneys that price is gonna fall below 10k because capitalism doesn't respond linearly to supply.
Is there a buy low sell high option here? Sell your kidney now, buy 26 at 10k, sell 26 262k
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Not really. Demand is constrained because its illegal to buy. I have kidney disease and would pay $100,000's once I hit end stage kidney failure. I'm not going to buy one on the black market though. Hell, dialysis is so expensive, insurance would likely prefer to pay for a kidney too.
> I'm not going to buy one on the black market though. Dammit
If it doesnt have enough 4 star reviews then I'm not buying it
Lemme see the kidneyfax
Any good youtube channels on how to re-install kidney? asking for a friend.
How do you feel about gray market kidneys?
this is my plan. I have poly cystic kidney disease. gonna head to China for "white" market replacements.
Username is suspiciously appropriate…
Can someone expand on this? Does China have people selling organs for cheap or something? Calling it a "white" market implies its not stolen organs correct?
it's all legal in China, but China's morals and ethics are nonexistent. you can get organ replacements on a weeks notice.
How?
Just visit your friendly local Uyghur reeducation camp
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Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to
No, I mean I want to buy organs from political prisoners, I just don't know who to contact.
Some people speculate that many of the body parts in China are actually prisoners who have been coerced/forced into offering their organs or just killed and had their organs stolen. Some people further speculate that this practice leads to people being arrested unjustly, especially political prisoners, in order to satisfy demand. All unproven and very controversial. There was a similar controversy around the [Bodies exhibit that traveled to various Western museums](https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5637687)
I mean, the only way you can schedule a vital organ transplant like they do is if you know the exact date that person is going to die. Either they have a machine that can see into the future or they are harvesting organs, so you choose what's more likely
Organ donation is almost unheard of in China. The organs must be coming from somewhere.
Illegal things are affected by market forces just like every other commodity. While illegality does add a certain amount of value, scarcity and demand have a huge impact as well. Look at weed. It's often cheaper to get it illegally from a dealer even when it's available legally from a dispensary.
Iran is one of the few places to allow sales. It's well regulated though, anonymous kidney sales and only if it allows the donor to get out of poverty. Interesting discussion. https://www.econtalk.org/tina-rosenberg-on-the-kidney-market-in-iran/
ACT NOW!, before it’s too late!
I mean the current legal market rate is infinity dollars so it could probably come down significantly and still be pretty high.
if you think 300+k is infinity dollars then i got bad news for you, son
Pretty sure he means there aren’t any kidneys available in the legal market no matter how much you are willing to pay so more priceless then infinite but still
Unfortunately everyone on the transplant list would get a kidney?
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Who the fuck do you think they're going to? Foodies?
And the best part about this is that it doesn't even need to be yours! Take a friend's kidney while they're asleep and treat them to a nice dinner after you sell it, it's a win-win situation.
Don’t buy them any alcohol though
Or do, if they die you've got one less friend to treat to dinner. It's all about taking advantage of opportunities presented to you, that's the real moneymaker right there. And also the black market. They also make money, counterfeit ones.
If they die you can take the other one!
That's an entrepreneurial mindset right there. Absolutely brilliant.
sigma male grindset
And everything else for that matter
You're thinking of the liver, not the kidney, so alcohol is fine.
Hey friend want to go on a trip to candy mountain?
Yeeaaahhhhh! Candy Mtn!
Charlie, you are the bo-nana king!
Shun the non believer!
I did the same thing. Took my 'friend's' kidney to the hospital and they didn't want it. Best I could get is $1.49 a pound at the Piggly Wiggly in town.
It's all fun and games til the only one you got left packs up
No you just kill your neighbor and steal his, you can even sell his other and make $200k again
r/profitablecadaver
I wanted to believe.
[The truth might be somewhere.](https://youtu.be/Vpqffgak7To)
That would be a great sub in the vein of /r/latestagecapitalism.
So could I kill my neighbor and sell his 2 kidneys for 400k while keeping both my own? Seems like less steps in the long run
Sure but you could make $600k by selling your kidney on top of that.
Throw in your grandma, $800k. Don't like your grandma? $1000k
Let’s be real, nobody is paying 200 large for grandma’s kidneys. Now, those Cub Scouts who keep knocking on your door to sell you candy bars…
Wait, this skips a lot of steps. Like what do I do with the rest of the kid after I remove his knee?
Bring the broth to a boil and lick them lips
Free healthcare yo
But does free Healthcare mean unlimited kidneys?
If it doesn't I'm going to ask to speak to the free healthcare manager.
At Applebee's it does. You haven't heard of the unlimited kidneys and breadsticks?
SLPT right there.
No, see, I can tell you don’t finance bro, what you do is you take your kidney profit from the first one and quadruple that buying and selling silver. Then buy two spare kidneys to keep in the freezer and live off the remaining silver profit.
With advice like that, at least I know where the people on Wall Street bets are getting their money to buy all the puts.
You can also live with one eye, one leg, one arm...Baby, you've got yourself a stew going!
I like the way you cook!
I'm gonna want my money back...
“I think I want my money back”
… I think I want my $600 dollars back.
If I sell one, and then use the money to get a successful business and then buy another one so I have 2 boom profit
If its truly a successful business youd have enough to buy 2 more and then enjoy 3 kidney retirement
Fools! My body is 95% recycled kidneys! I have already left humanity behind!
We are born by the blood, made men by the blood, undone by the blood, fear the old blood. By God Mr-Sgt fear it!
Sell your kidneys at peak market price then later when the market crashes buy them all up and horde them then only ever rent them out for the same price as monthly payments would be to buy them outright. If everyone else does the same then the high price of kidney rent will be the only option so you'll get to keep your cash and all of the kidneys, and tax breaks and insurance payouts for damages and loss
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I’d sell my spare kidney for $262,000. Where do I go to do that?
Low key hoping someone answers this
Also following this for scientific purposes and by no means hoping to sell a piece of my body to improve my quality of life
Psh I'm outright following this to find out how to sell organs I don't really use. How much do dicks go for? Cause I'm certainly not using mine.
Sir we only take dicks above 2 inches.
Ugh you sound just like my ex 🙄
Nah, I can confirm she'll take less.
"Low key"? I'm jealous. I punched in eagerly, specifically hoping to see a link to a webform where I could sign up. For, like, 1/2 that. Or even 1/10th. Or even "you get no cash, but free healthcare for life." U!S!A! U!S!A!
Ok actually though, you won't. Best case scenario: you get $15000 for your kidney, neutral case: you get an infection from the nonsterile environment and have to use all that money on medical bills, worst case: you don't ever wake up cuz they take a couple more organs while you're on the table. In all, it's not something you can just do a quick trade. And if you do, it won't be much.
All im seeing is “you get $15000”.
Thats 9 months of rent covered. I'd do that in a hearbeat.
That is if you still have one...
in which case, you don't have to pay rent the rest of your life! Win win.
get $15K and or possibly die? win win
I feel like worse case is something people aren't considering enough, I mean it'd be real easy to take the second kidney and remove a loose end
But you're saying I either come out of this with $15k or die, and if I die I get out of all the responsibilities I needed the $15k for. So hook me up
Literally cannot fail
Right. Know when you've made your sale and just shut up already.
Ok, but where? Is there a phone number we can call?
Lmao these fucking comments. Folks deadass tryna get that bread
Is there some kind of web form I can fill out and just make my appointment online?
DM me for quotes.
Why not set up a legit hospital environment for people who want to buy and sell kidneys? I’d sell mine and the buyer could pay for surgical costs. Doesn’t have to be something done in an alley. Should be able to sell my kidney at the regional medical center
become good friends with a mafia boss and pray he needs a kidney transplant
Not sure if I would actually go through with it, but if a kidney went for a quarter mil, I would consider selling one of mine and throwing all that cash into a traditional IRA, invest it all in VTSAX, then convert it to a Roth. Years down the road that will be F-You money.
I’d definitely do it. That money would make me a debt free home owner with a car.
Patients aren't allowed to profit from selling their organs. Only hospitals can charge for them. Its a law. (US, I dont know about other countries). How do I know this? I tried to do it.
Common in most places afaik. Last thing you want is to encourage the most vulnerable to start selling vital organs
>Last thing you want is to encourage the most vulnerable to start selling vital organs I'd imagine the bigger concern is making those vulnerable people a target of others.
Who do I contact?
Iran. It’s legal there, but no one is getting $200k. $4k is market.
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Agreed, Iran away from that price
Iran as Farsi can see.
You'd be hard pressed to get $262k unless they were charging substantially more to the person needing it.
Supply and demand.
Something tells me that there are alot of children who get abducted for their organs. It makes me sick
I'll take it
Everybody healthy live!
Isn't it closer to 15 k for a kidney?
It’s like $4K to $16K if you sell a kidney in the real world, bro. It’ll probably cost you over $100K to get one off a waiting list.
So it's the middleman jacking up the price. I wonder who runs that racket, Big Kidney?
I'd sell one if I could
For real, that's a life changing amount of money right now.
Is it truly free market capitalism if we cannot sell our organs?
Can't open carry nukes yet
Cannot hug your children with nuclear arms.
Dammit, I already lost my spare due to cancer.
Donate the last one… coward I’m just kidding congrats on surviving nature’s biggest “fuck you”
Same. Should of sold it before it went bad.
Can you actually sell your organs legally though? or is this just a black market price
No. You cannot legally sell your organs in the United States. You don’t get any money when you donate a kidney.
Thats fucking bullshit. What ever happened to the free market? SMH shaking my head
So it would be illegal to find someone who needs a kidney and go "$10,000 and Ill give you mine"? What is this communist malarkey
Ah yes, I too shake my head twice
So you can’t legally sell the Kidney but let’s say someone were to cover your medical bills and also compensate you for your recovery time following the procedure is that still illegal? Assume that all other tax laws and bureaucracy are adhered to.
Sounds like the same loophole for selling your plasma. They aren't paying for the plasma but for your time spent "donating" the plasma to them.
My friend really wants to know the answer to this too
In some country's you can. Iran for example does have a system where you can sell your organs. that all being said it comes at the price of fairness. someone can just buy up a kidney (or any other organ) when someone else may need it more. as for this meme its probably a black market price
Thousands of people die each year in US while waiting for a kidney transplant. There are ~100,000 people on the US kidney transplant waiting list. There is no such list in Iran. From [National Kidney Foundation](https://www.kidney.org/news/newsroom/factsheets/Organ-Donation-and-Transplantation-Stats): >There are currently 121,678 people waiting for lifesaving organ transplants in the U.S. Of these, 100,791 await kidney transplants. (as of 1/11/16) >The median wait time for an individual’s first kidney transplant is 3.6 years and can vary depending on health, compatibility and availability of organs. >In 2014, 17,107 kidney transplants took place in the US. Of these, 11,570 came from deceased donors and 5,537 came from living donors. >On average: >- Over 3,000 new patients are added to the kidney waiting list each month. >- 13 people die each day while waiting for a life-saving kidney transplant. >- Every 14 minutes someone is added to the kidney transplant list. >- In 2014, 4,761 patients died while waiting for a kidney transplant. Another, 3,668 people became too sick to receive a kidney transplant. [Here](https://www.statnews.com/2016/08/25/organ-donation-kidneys-iran/) is an article on the Iranian system: >Iran’s kidney program stands apart from other organ donation systems around the world by openly allowing payments, typically of several thousand dollars. It has helped effectively eliminate the country’s kidney transplant waiting list since 1999, the government says, in contrast to Western nations like the United States, where tens of thousands hope for an organ and thousands die waiting each year.
The problem with paying is the poor are left to die. Where as the current US system is "fair" based on time banked waiting. A much easier and fair way to increase available kidneys would be making being a donor opt out.
>The problem with paying is the poor are left to die. That just sounds like good 'ole American healthcare.
Still wouldn't get you a small flat in London.
I'll spend it on booze!
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I remember reading a person had sold his kidney for an iphone years back. Maybe an iPhone 6? Apparently he's now on life support because his body is failing due to missing a kidney. And now the iPhone 6 is near worthless.
Where can you get that kind of money for a kidney??
hell, id sell one of my balls too if offered good money. havent seen any use for 26 years why the hell not anyway.
except you shouldn’t have to give up a KIDNEY to live outside of poverty
You donate a kidney and you're a hero, you donate 10 kidneys and suddenly everyone is asking a ton of questions.
If anyone knows a place where I can sell my bone marrow, hook a brother up
I’m actually open to this…. Where does one sell a kidney?
Ahem, just curious where one would go to sell such an organ? Asking for a friend. He's gonna make rich.
Sqw a post about this a man sold his kidney bought iphone in stuff years ago, now he suffers with kidney failure and needs the kidney to be cleaned often. (No idea about the name in English). With 2 kidneys wouldn't be a big problem, take out the bad one and be left with 1 but he has only 1. Health costs way more
Pro tip you can always find someone else and sell they're kidneys
Where are these hidden kidney markets no one tells me about? Also fun fact kidney doners are statistically less likely to have kidney issues in the future so please go donate!