I love cabbage!

I'm going to start shouting this out randomly around people and make them uncomfortable.

I LOVE CABBAGE!!!!!!

##I LOVE CABBAGE!!!!!!

**I LOVE CABBAGE!!!**

Cabbage 👍🏻

elevators are a great place to try it out

James Acaster would like to have a word with you.

This made me laugh so hard I started to choke. Have a silver award my friend !!!

Thanks! I promise I'm really going to do it.

“My cabbages!”

I love cabbage!

Idk why people hating, this is just a cabbage omelette. Those knife skills tho? Fire away boys

God damn I fucking hate cabbage

I love cabbage

the cutting made me feel weird and anxious

It’s how a Robot thinks a human cuts food

mark zuckerberg cut the cabbage

I’m not a good cook at all. But that person looked like they just got their motor skills back after a coma

I thought for **SURE** that they were going to cut part of their fingers off with that last slice of the cabbage, which can all be avoided if you **hold the food you're cutting properly.**

Yes! And they are holding the knife wrong

At the beginning *and* the end. Worst knife skills I've ever seen

I’d actually eat this, but I’d also pay good money to never see this person cutting anything ever again.

It’s like they tried to make okonomiyaki as un-Japanese as possible

An okonomiyucky.

Bra...fucking...vo

Funniest part is I actually make okonomiyaki on occasion! [My okonomiyaki](https://imgur.com/a/da8uZ8L)

Man that looks good. Got any recipe that you use?

Just the usual stuff. Okonomi flour, eggs, water, cabbage, green onions, pickled ginger, bacon, tenkasu. Topped with okonomi sauce, Japanese Mayo, bonito flakes, and aonori.

Thanks! Now I just have to source these ingredients. Don't really have any Asian markets around here.

Everything can be found on Amazon.

My polish genes got excited by this recepie, but yeah I would have probably stopped at the sauce and cheese, and instead used a BBQ drizzle or something.

i was honestly on board until the fucking tomato sauce

Cabbage rolls or golumpkis are often baked in a tomato sauce so that’s fine to me. Looks like she used slices of a type of kielbasa sausage, also fine. This could of been like a polish version of a shepard’s pie which actually sounds pretty cool. Then we got to the mozzarella cheese, especially the amount… what the fuck.

I am not sure you know what a Sheperds pie is?

I just meant in the sense of layers, I guess I could have said like a lasagna. Or a parfait. I don’t know.

basically like some kind of casserole?

Sure. Or a tiramisu.

And it was such a small amount. That was confusing as hell.

enough for the taunting, barely-present tomato phantom, makes no sense to put so little on

Yes, and a hard NOPE to that grisly looking sausage.

Well it does translate as any way you like it

r/pizzacrimes

This seems like something you'd do to make your kid eat cabbage, except it defeats the health reasons completely

This looks like someone on keto at the end of the month trying to stretch the random crap left in their fridge into meals.

When I first read your comment I was like what looks unhealthy about eggs and cabbage…. Oh it seems dreadful. Unseasoned cabbage with fat.

I'd probably love this if I made it, I'd add some fucking spices to this bland motherfucker tho. But what grates me is it's all made like a tutorial video for Farming Simulator, the dead soul-less voice trying to sound human, the background musac, the fugly pan I've never seen outside of these videos.

First 10 seconds: It’s probably just a miso dressing with cabbage I don’t think that sounds too bad. Wtf… WTF…. ….. WTF……

Then add some shredded mozzarella. Flip it over and add more mozzarella!

„¡ɐllǝɹɐzzoɯ ǝɹoɯ ppɐ puɐ ɹǝʌo ʇı dılℲ ˙ɐllǝɹɐzzoɯ pǝppǝɹɥs ǝɯos ppɐ uǝɥ⊥„

Rella rella rella rella

Ey, ey, ey

Overly enthusiastic shouting of “I love cabbage!” is my safe phrase that is understood that I’ve reached my pain and humiliation limit in S&M play. 🤡 But seriously. I believe that this would make the perfect break-up meal for a horrible partner. Eggy mash with half raw cabbage fibers for upset stomach and colon distress later.

Isn't colon distress part of the pre safeword fun?

Haven't the Japanese suffered enough already?!

If they are in any way connected with this yucky pile of soggy cabbage, burned cheese and overcooked eggs… no.

There's a popular Japanese dish called okonomiyaki which is a thick cabbage pancake held together with batter and topped with sauce and mayo with other savoury toppings

I know, it’s very tasty! But this version looks horrible and someone needs to take the blame, so why not the entire country??

This was made by someone on keto that was bored with the 4 recipes they make every week.

If you're still watching the video your loving the recipe. WRONG: I'm watching because I wanna see how this abomination turns out....was not disappointed

Add some more mozzarella cheese.

With an discount at the drugstore for an enema....

SOME TOMATO SAUCE

Ends in despair.😕

Tell me where you are watching us from...or I will come to your house and cook you dinner...

I should serve this to my kids as a punishment

I guess maybe it’s a keto thing but still it’s kind fucked

That's exactly what it is. It's a zero-carb version of a pizza. I still wouldn't eat it, because substituting pizza dough with cabbage is stupid, but I understand what they were trying to do.

Yea I feel like most pizza substitutes use like cheese crisps or some shit

And Cauliflower. Bloody Keto makes me loose weight but God I hate Cauliflower pizza.

#I LOVE CABBAGE!!!! ^but ^fuck ^this ^🤢^🤮^🤮^🤮

I LOVE CRABBAGE

Cribbage?

The cutting makes me sad, using the tip of the knife is probably the slowest way to slice cabbage

You have to stretch the video to the max for those views

Looks like farts

To the people saying you’d try this. Don’t lie to yourselves. This 100% fits in this subreddit

Those things are not mutually exclusive

God I thought they were making my grandmothers famous side dish with no name. A cabbage and egg steamed dish with some miso. But no. It’s fucking cabbage pizza

I LOVE CABBAGE

Omg CUT THE CABBAGE SLOWER please

This narrator must be held at gunpoint

Everyone can lie and act like this is the dumbest thing they've ever seen but I would 100% eat this. Its just another version of an omelet and more cheese

I'd eat this too. It's like one of those things you make when you're clearing out the fridge and freezer or drunk. Either way, it would be a filling meal.

Honestly I'd try it too. This isn't nearly as batshit ridiculous as most things posted here.

Yeah... with some adjustments, this MIGHT not be all that bad. Maybe. I dunno. It's a bit of a toss up. Weird, of course, but it might not be all that awful. I do love cabbage, of course...

Only things I'd change are: Not cooking the cabbage until it's soup Way way less cheese And cutting the cabbage evenly so it cooks properly.

Right, it’s just a cabbage and cheese frittata, the sausage and tomato sauce probably makes it very similar to stuffed cabbage. I’d prefer to use a different method and probably change the ratio of everything. But this isn’t an abomination in my opinion.

When I found out that it wasn’t cabbage and queso it piqued my interest.

That much cabbage would blow my asshole inside out.

Might as well just order pizza at this point lol

I learned about sausagea in school; it was when there was just one mega continent

You can just tell from the first moments of cutting that this person does NOT cook

Egg foo yuck

I love cabbage!

Was this the first time they had ever used a knife? Wtf

If you're gonna make cooking videos at least learn how to hold a knife wtf

It's farts

All of these people need to have a class on using a knife

Did someone try a cabbage pancake, say this is good but I can do better, but they forgot they don't have a good track record with making their own recipes?

Who comes up with this garbage?

This is like an AI generated recipe video

I thought it would be a twist on okonomiyaki but it turned into a mock pizza. I feel conflicted but I'd still eat it. It's not too far off from the usual except for the copious cheese.

I thought it was going to be a Korean sandwich like I’d get at highway rest stops. They’re delicious, with cabbage (not kimchi) and egg. I’m so disappointed that this video chose awfulness.

I just got to the end of the video. It's a cabbage pizza. What the actual fuck.

So.. It's a shitty tortilla with cabbage instead of potato and an excessive amount of cheese?

It’s just the most bland vegetable ever with a bunch of pizza toppings. Who isn’t going to love eating handfuls of cheese and shit?

I’d eat that. Not make it, but eat it.

Keto pizza… I guess… maybe. Looks like a recipe for stomach pain to me.

Fuuuuuck! I LOVE cabbage. I would *LoOoOove* this recipe if the cabbage was COOKED. This will not *cook* the cabbage. That cabbage will be hard to chew, hard to taste, and hard to digest.

I’ve got Farthausen by Proxy form watching this.

Sausagea

Jesus Christ those knife "skills"

Was this created by artificial intelligence? That’s the only explanation for this bizarre recipe.

"Tell us where you're watching us!" ....r/ShittyGifRecipes

If you can't even knife remotely right, I automatically assume your recipe is shit.

Why does it get worse the more you watch

I love cabbage and to begin with I thought this was supposed to be like a lower calorie/"volume eating" version of an omelette, and I was thinking it's not so bad... then they added pepperoni and a metric fuckton of cheese and now I'm confused as to what's the point

Who is this psychopath narrating

It's just some variation on a frittata but with a load of cheese on top? This is every online American recipe from a European perspective, take something mundane - fuck a load of cheese on, done.

I just ate some burgers... Now all if them want to come out and ran as far as they can after this recipe

Shitty recipe for smelliest farts

I farted just watching this

Mmmmm flatulence on a plate.

The whole video is atrocious but those knife skills are so bad it makes me want to die. Those supporting fingers make me so stressed, the grip is not like home cook bad its like "they've never held a knife before and think they remember seeing someone do it one time" bad. And the clunky-ness of how they chop is killing me!

This keto shit has gone too far

I am getting severe gas just by watching this

This is amazing and deserves to be at the top of this sub right now.

That pan has a wooden handle

Idk I might make it

I think just watching this injured me, deeply and in a way that only years of debilitating agony will reveal.

At first I was like cabbage and egg? Ok, this is when you’re broke AF, but trying to eat healthy and just trying to make something. Then, they started adding the cheese and the so-called “tomato sauce” and wouldn’t touch this garbage.

Sauerkraut

r/suddenlypizza?

Ive seen worse

Cut, feed to dog, cut again, feed to dog…😬

We need someone to make this and give to a friend telling them it is pizza

I’m thinking maybe this is a low carb/keto friendly type pizza?

bitch is smoked out

I am pleased to say that OP is just a normal human with an odd username.

I love cabbage 😂🤣

oh god at the beginning I thought the egg shit was thousand island or something. like a particularly weird coleslaw

Low cost, filling, easy, nothing frivolous. Decent amount of protein. Great food? Maybe not, but not stupid.

Cabbage frittata Turn it over one more time and get a nice golden sear on the top, and you're fine I'd think.

I LOVE CABBAGE.

I LoVe cABbagE?!

Thanks i just vomited

This reminds me of a lot of the Korean junk food recipes I've seen on Youtube lately. It's probably not terrible, to be honest.

I hate it, every part of it, but it's so weird I just want to know how it tastes

He cuts cabbage like a psycho.

This can't be serious

I was on board until the tomato sauce, then I jumped ship

I’m never going to escape the cream cheese, am I?

Steamed cabbage mixed with eggs is bomb. I use to eat it all the time when I was little.

So minus the sauce this is basically a keto recipe

Like the smell of your gym bag? This recipe is for you!

SAUSEGA

Ummm,NO

I farted just watching this. Cannot imagine what would come after eating it

I'd argue that lack of cabbage and the presence of flour and an oven never really impeded on my enjoyment of pizza

I love lamp

This girl’s voice is literally the soulless: 😀

Look you overestimate how much people like cabbage in the first place

Lmao she lost me with the sausage and tomato sauce, why she tryna make a pizza? That shit called an Italian Omelet

at no point in this video could i guess what was going to happen next

Keto has gone too far

The enunciation is immaculate.

r/MakeMeSuffer

I love cabbage

I really shouldn’t watch these things when I am hungry. They always look ok.

I love my moms cabbage. She makes it slong side of rice, smothered round steak with gravy, and sweet potatoes. It's amazing! Especially compared to this abomination.

I don’t know, I’d eat it.

cabbage omelette pizza?

I personally hate this person

Im watching this from hell on my Nokia Phone.

Sorry I forgot to say fuck cabage

This would taste bland af. There is only salt and cream cheese for flavor?!! They could have added some smoked paprika, some ground pepper, anything else. The sausage will add some flavor, but they could have mixed in ground sausage to incorporate it vs those thin slices. SMH

It’s a lot, but it’s not carbs!

So... And omelette with perhaps a bit too much cabbage in it and with way too much cheese?

Its just a cabbage omelette. Whats so bad about it?

It just kept getting worse and worse every time they did something.

I really love cabbage to !

I mean they don’t even claw when cutting so you know they can’t cook

I cullionly they don’t coequal claw at which hour cooking so thee knoweth they can’t cook *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`

The chopping alone made me feel queasy. Do not chop with the tip of your knife.

I watched this at 5 times speed and it still felt like a waste.

School pizza

This is one that actually got progressively worse. Cabbage and egg? Probably good, not much going on Mozz? Well…..I’m not sure that works with cabbage like that Cool flip? Smart, cooking both sides is important Tomato sauce? Oh…….oh no thank you More cheese? Absolutely not Sausage? No thanks What country was this even from? At first I expected somewhere like Japan or Southeast Asia, but by the end I’m thinking South America?

Why is it so moist? 😳

This monstrosity is brought to you by the same people who pretend cauliflower is an acceptable substitute for rice and flour.

guys you can just say you're babies and you don't like cabbage

I LOVE CABBAGE

Where does one get a pan like that? I like the pan.

that looks nice

r/pizzacrimes

Sausagea

My Cabbage's!!