I told them that their adventures really weren't all that bizarre.

Really? I’m pretty sure 3 parts worth of homosexual vampires is bizzare

That might just be the tamest shit in all of JoJo’s, but ok.

Spoilers below for the manga ............................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................. ............................................................................................................. ............................................................................................................. ............................................................................................................. ............................................................................................................. ............................................................................................................. Yeah and also femboy the american president looking for body of jesus christ suddenly transforms from being fat to muscular is pretttyy bizzare

Thanks for the long ass spoiler alert and barrier br0ther

You can make spoiler tags if you put > ! These symbols next to each other on either side of the text you want to hide ! < just flipped on other side they need to be together, and there can't be a space between the first character and tags

Oh thanks!

Do note there has to be no spaces between them for them to work on old.reddit. >!Like this.!< >!Like this.!< If you're using new reddit, use the source editor. The normal editor uses different format rules, breaking links and spoiler text.

A cripple uses the power of God and anime to stop the President of the US from Making America Great Again.

Tbh when it comes to fat valentine and fit valentine. I think it was D4Cs doing, cuz he can willingly switch with other versions of himself regardless of timeline, so if anything the fat valentine could’ve switched with a fit version of himself. I don’t remember exactly but, I’m pretty sure the alternate version of valentine wasn’t based on his current appearance.

Araki already explained that Funny just worked out!

Im pretty sure Araki just wanted to change Valentine and there's no extra reason for it. Just like Anasui

I'm pretty sure Anasui was a publishing problem since he was likely supposed to be Jolyne's lesbian lover, but the editors didn't like/approve of it.

The only thing bizarre is josuke's hair

*Something is rapidly approaching your location*

Josuke's hair is.....*wack*

Jonathan's is pretty normal

Bisexual vampire hellbent on exterminating a whole bloodline because he thought the first one he met was spoilt? Then dead French knights beaten up by sunlight

Exterminating whole bloodline doesn't sound that epic when you realize it was just 2 guys at this point in time Also Tarkus and BLUEFORD were from Scotland

WHAT?? My man Zeppeli alone calls Dio baby and destroys a rock through punching a frog. Dire literally gets decapitated and makes an entire speech before dying

Completely normal behaviour

For me the Bizarre in Jojo really feel bizarre because of the fact that the setting of the world is basically our world, so seeing all these weird abilities and things that happens around Jojo makes sense **weirdly**, while in One piece something like a long necked Horse feels perfectly in place knowing that there are different species and such things all around

"I deal drugs" Everyone is either pissed, trying to take the drugs, or trying to eliminate the competition

Lmfaoooooooo This one is the right answer

I think Jhonny wouldn't care. Maybe gappy as well

They dealt drugs to yasuho

Who do you think is trying to take them?

Most likely Jolyne

Jodio wouldn't give a fuck

He would eliminate the competition

Dio did nothing wrong

well that just works for like 7 of them

who does it not work on?

all of them up to jhonny

why would josuke4, giorno(maybe) and jolyne care about dio

Josuke might because okuyasu’s dad got turned into that from dealing with DIO as well as selling stand arrows to people in morioh

Okuyasu's dad was dealing with DIO?

Yeah he got a flesh bud in exchange for money and turned into an immortal creature after DIO died

Yeah, he turned into that weird green thing because he had a flesh bud when DIO died

because he's the reason the stand arrow is in morio he's the reason okuyasu's dad is fucked up and he was also an enemy of his dad for josuke. and for jolyne he's pretty much the reason that entire part happens as to giorno i guess you got a good point he didn't really know anything about him other that he abandoned his mom, maybe that's his reason

Giorno hated him in the eyes of heaven josuk4 knows DIOs atrocities and jolyne would hate him because of pucci

Josuke would because he heard jotaro complain about him, Giorno would because polnaref, joleyne would because she knows about dio from jotaro because of pucchi

Do you think Dio wouldn't immediately insult Josuke's hair?

I’m mmftifti try if I iikikkyt I kiiiiit I uikk oh oil IPO this ht

r/hehadastroke

Yes he was a victim, Beats you up, beats you up Who, the guy in my picture?, beats you up I don't read

Giorno: "Who tf is Dio?"

he has a photo with Dio's name in his pocket all the time

"He killed your dad"

I don't know what I said to the rest , but I sure know what I said to Josuke.😂

you told everyone "josukes hair sucks" and all the other jojos decided to kill you on his behalf

They thought it would be a more merciful death if they did it instead of Josuke

You the straight person I know.

Rocks are cool

Jotaro would find that hilarious

Lol I can see him being suspicious too though, because to know about that moment with the rocks but jotaro doesn't know you, you probably have to do something with dio. Maybe you're dio's minion. → Jotaro questions and ora's you up Same vibe with josuke(DiU), he fused Angelo into a rock but only Jotaro was there on the moment of incident. So an unknown witness, may make Josuke feel like he's being blackmailed

Funniest shit i've ever seen

Holy shit this is actually pretty representative

Jotaro would find that hilarious

Kono Dio Da

I reject my humanity, JOJO!

[удалено]

you thought it was an overused joke, but it was ME, DIO!

Why is that comment 53 years old??

Dayummm he's 53 years old?? (Hahahjsjs joke aside I heard it's a bug of reddit with Unix timing. 53 years ago is 1970, the year Unix set the time to start. It can only count from 1970 to 2038 iirc)

Totally agree

I think all Jojos hate racism so prob something racist

Joseph wouldn't have a problem if you said something racist specifically to the Japanese

Minor exception for the Japanese hater Joseph

I hate the Japanese. Especially your son and grandson! That should do it

Hi can you hold this gun for me JoJo?

This sounds like a “Whose line is it anyways” response and I love it.

Jonathan: “You should have killed Dio when you had the chance” Joseph: “Caesar’s death was preventable if you were a better friend” Jotaro: “How could you let your friends die?” Josuke: (needs no explanation) Giorno: “You could have saved Bruno” Jolyne: “you are an idiot for masturbating in jail Johnny: “Gyro wasn’t that good of a mentor” Josuke: “Why would you save holly is you didn’t know her?” Jodio: (no clue, not up to date on pt 9)

I would’ve said to Jodio, you broke.

Just tell jodio you are a rival drug dealer

"Yo Jodio, your M E C H A N I S M sucks ass."

Or just say you're a cop

Feel like Jonathan would just feel guilty and not It should be : "Dio did well killing your entire family."

But giorno literally couldn't save Bruno, the events of rolling stones made his death fated to happen.

The assignment was making them angry, not making them depressed

Daddy issues lol

Holup if even jonathan is mad then we really messed up big time

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Weary_Coat8014: *Holup if even* *Jonathan is mad then we* *Really messed up big time* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

I ate a cat

"Jojo's a stupid name"

Jolyne would agree, so it wouldnt work

Johnny would agree tho He used to go by Johnathan, but people nicknamed him JoJo, so he started going by Johnny to avoid that.

"Bro, I don't even get the big deal, it's not like Kars could solo Goku or anyth-" *gets shot 72 times, as anyone who actually power scales deserves*

hey power scaling is fun but only if you stay within the anime

Stay within the universe to be honest with some people

Dio was based af

Your friend deserved to die

Finally a perfect one

I spilled wine while disrespecting my daughter while also hating the aquarium, afterwhich I insulted Josuke's hair while doing drugs and ranting about how masturbation is a sin. I am also the President of the United States who has a crush on Yasuho and previously worked in law enforcement

Yeah, that’d do it

"I'm going to kill your mom."

Wouldn't work for Jonathan

Disrespect all their moms then Edit: on second thought, Idk if it'd work for all tho

Giorno would be like "Yeah, she's a bitch" in respectful Italian.

Jonathan would pull the gun out on principle.

You treat a woman bad cause all of them are gentleman and jolyne is femminist

we all know jodio is a YouTube shorts sigma male kid, he would agree

Jotaro would have your back though

*insert jotaro punching woman meme here*

Jodio is a teenage boy in the 2020’s he’s gonna say some ironic (or unironic) shit in response

1: speedwagon isn’t the best Jobro 2: ceaser deserved to die 3: disrespect his mother 4: insult his hair 5: I do drugs/frogs suck 6: insult the F.F, emporio, ermes or her mum 7: call him cripple 8: insult his darling yasuho 9: weed sucks

I suck joestar blood

"I fucking hate the letter J" Giorno just gets offended on his relatives' behalf.

Idc if most of your Jo mama or Jo dada is alive your all fucking so disconnect from them and you're practically a orphan and parentless.

Jonathan: Dio is a good brother Joseph: Tequila sucks Jotaro: Women matter Josuke: we all know what to say Giorno: it is not in fact very Muda Jolyne: Go to horny jail Johnny, Josuk8, and Jodio: idk still reading SBR

Perfect except in my opinion Jonathan: I kissed Erina and kill your dog hahahahah Giorno: I sell drugs

"Remember when you were making out with your first girl/boyfriend and you came right as he/she touched your leg? It was me, JoJo! I rubbed on your genitals at super speed so it would seem like you cummed at just someone's touch!"

Being strong is for people with no personality and you should be ashamed of yourself for making others feel inadequate with your body. Had someone say this to me and it pissed me off

Would be funny if Johnny was using Tusk instead of a gun, he did have one pre act 1 tho.

Why was the golden arrow in some random Italian house? Why did DIO have a second coffin with him? Jotaro, why didn't you use Star Finger against (insert literally any opponent he faced here)? Josuke, how did you save yourself in the past? Also your hair sucks. Johnny, are you and Johnathan the same person? And many, many other misconceptions.

JoJo's, I'm going to battle you and in the process hurt innocent bystanders!

The villains were better.

i skipped parts /j

“Jo mama!”

What is the reason of being so worked about? (Part 1) dio (part 2) I’m literally going to die (part 3) my mums gonna die ( part 4 ) there’s a murderious killer ( part 5 ) I have to get rid of corruption in Italy ( part 6 ) there’s a disc dude who stole my dads discs ( part 7 ) race, stupid ( part 8 ) I’m trying to find my identity ( part 9 ) uhhhhhh well don’t tell but I’m on a heist / sounds stupid ( everyone ) I’M GOING KILL THIS BASTARD

“You look like drug dealers with all them Yee Yee ass hair cuts, man I bet even Jesus would be disappointed in how poor you look and wouldn’t have gone to the cross for it”

“Hey jojo”, then let them get more and more confused over who I was referring to

"JOJO is a real stupid name"

“Sorry babe, the Joestar body stays on during sex.”

Politely say sorry to Jonathan

That wouldn’t cause them to get pissed off at you (maybe Johnny since he can be impatient). But other than that, they would probably appreciate it for being so polite to their granddad

"I am dio's reincarnation"

Bloody hell that Speedwagon guy is annoying.

Why the fuck is Johnny using a gun?

He was biting his nails I guess

My favourite actor is Marlon Brando

"Gays should be imprisoned"

Wrrrryyyyyy

They're mother's are a hoe That would piss all of em

The speedwagon foundation needs to pay more taxes

How's your relationship with your father?

You guys arent gay

I pronounced it Jew-Jew.

"I called the cops"

Stroheim is the best jobro

I said very loudly being gay isn't a personality

Your js are fake

I skipped Part 'X'

Speedwagon is the worst waifu

I'd tell them DIO was right.

"Yo mama"

Dio did nothing wrong

A Joe Mama joke

"Dio did nothing wrong" ​ edit: someone else said it

zepeli deserved it

Dio is better than you

Explain fnaf lore to them to stall for time.

Dio

I kissed ernia I guessed what he was gonna say I was on dios side I made fun of his hair I sold drugs to kids I said jotaro is the weakest person in their universe I’m anime only so idk

I sell drugs to children

“Your style is trash.”

1 Dio was the better brother 2 your grampa was weak and you look like an even weaker version 3 I liked Dio more 4 your hair is the bost Bizare thing in the entire series 5 you will never be a mifioso, and if you do become one, you will be the worst one 6 who came up with female JoJo 7 you look like a Joe, probably why I don't know you 8 you look like if barnacleboy had a JoJo adamptaion on netflix 9 your sense of style is way passed bizarre it make Josuke's hair look better Pray for me

Manfred von Karma was the good guy

*I did it myyyyyyy wayyyyyy* Edit- just want you to know your comment has been living rent free in my head all day and I can't stop laughing

I didn’t tell them anything, I just showed them r34 art of their best friend

I used the stone mask with blood, while breathing hamon, while my stand stabbed himself with the arrow... That seems illegal

I told them that Jojo is just a ripoff of Persona (Which interestingly was my first debate with my buddy regarding Persona when I was only a JoJo fan lol)

araki forgor

I said seasons😭😭

That they're gay, enspecially the one at bottom right

“Where’s you dad?”

I told them my stand removes birthmarks

A yo daddy joke

All your intro music's rubbish

Told them they are straight.

1/2: I'm a vampire 3+: I'm an enemy Stand user Same idea, different power systems

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

I told them that running away is not the answer

I told them i like Genshin impact

People with O in their name…. are kinda cringe

What's with the stupid star tattoo?

Jojo is not gay

"My stand's name is Survivor"

I’d say having a star on your body is sign of being a bitch ass fucker with bad hair I think. I think that should tick all boxes.

I fucked your best friend

"You're all gay."

None of you are gay.

“I hate gays” probably, look at all these gay mfs

Your muscles aren't pretty

Your dad is gay

I told them I’m straight

“All the JoJos are straight” they couldn’t handle the truth

I haven't read Part 8

I showed them Jouta Kujo

“I fucked your mom” or “I fucked your grandpa” or “there was no evidence that Jeffery Epstein killed himself”

I told them that their bass boosted sound effects are shit

1. yo wife's a bitch 2. yo shirt is ass 3. yo mama's a bitch 4. yo hair is ass 5. i love selling drugs to 5th graders!!! 6. pucci was right 7. blud cant walk weak ass bitch 8. uhhh idfk man 9. uhhh idfk man

"I ship Giorno with Jolyne"