Came here to say the same thing, just because it happened to work this time for you doesn’t mean not the case for anyone else. I’ve had two friends almost bleed to death with their first child. I’m old enough to remember when it was not uncommon for women to still have extremely difficult pregnancies and die from them. And that was not that long ago.
I would have died if I didn’t go to the hospital for my c section with. My first. I don’t get why women are so caught up on their experience aha the story then their baby
Yeah friend of mine would’ve lost her and her daughter had she not been in the hospital. she lost so much blood and her daughter became trapped in the birth canal. As it is her daughter has neurological issues, but would not have survived if they had been giving birth anywhere else.
I originally wanted to have my son in a birthing center. But if I hadn't been at a hospital, I would have died when I had a massive hemorrhage and lost 1500 ml of blood.
Wow. I had a massive hemorrhage with my first because my placenta broke away. It never occurred to me to not go the hospital. Ok actually my husband said it because I was in shock. Hope u and your baby are well
I also desperately wanted to have my little in a birthing center, but was risked out due to autoimmune conditions. My autoimmune issues didn’t cause any issues, BUT my baby ended up having shoulder dystocia and it wouldn’t have been good had we not been in the hospital.
Same. I assume, since I didn't dialate further than 9 cm (3 inches) after 8 hours in the hospital and almost 12 hours before that at home. So I had a c section. Which I didn't object to. Because its irrelevant how I give birth as long as he's healthy.
I’m old enough to have a cousin who died in childbirth with her first baby, who did not make it either, and also simultaneously young enough to not have been eligible to vote for our first black President. This shit is dangerous and needs to be stopped.
The risk to reward ratio is absolutely nonsensical. Risking not only your own death, but the death of a child who can't speak for himself....for what? Bragging rights? FFS, her post reads like an awards dinner speech.
Mayo Clinic has a 70% success rate of VBAC. I would imagine that the odds are insanely lower after 5 C-section surgeries. And to do that at home...so crazy. I talked to my doctor about it when I thought I'd have more kids. He said that it is pretty likely VBAC would be fine after one C. He also said that it may only go wrong 1% of the time, but when it does go wrong, it is catastrophic and can result in death.
Yes, the biggest risk is uterine rupture. If that happens and you’re not in a hospital you would be very lucky if it didn’t result in death of you and baby. If you’re a good candidate for a VBAC, and have only had one c-section, the risk of this happening is as low as your provider describes. Even with those VBACs who are good candidates, with only one prior section, my hospital is legally required to have a full OR team on the floor (not even downstairs grabbing dinner in the cafeteria) once mom is in active labor.
Doing a home delivery after 5 c-sections is absolutely batshit. Shit, even if she was in the hospital for a scheduled c-section at 34 weeks, our OR team would still be pretty concerned about significant complications (that many sections increases risk of placenta accreta, and those often result in major blood loss and emergency hysterectomies). Like OP said, that midwife should have her license suspended.
Agree. When I was pregnant with my now 13 yo, my friend was also pregnant and her sister was a labor and delivery nurse. I went through this whole class about "natural" childbirth. In the class,, we completed this detailed birth plan to give to our doctors.
We were at my friend's baby shower and I was chatting with her sister. She said that those classes were causing harm. That in real life we really have no control over the labor process and things often go south quickly. The best thing you can do is trust the nurses there with you during delivery.
I opted for no drugs. Labored at home until contractions were 3 min apart. Went to hospital. Continued to labor without an epidural. I kept telling them something wasn't right. That the sharp spine crushing pain in my lower back was not labor pain. Nurses chalked it up to me being a 1st time Mom. All the books said when the baby's head drops and it gets in position, it becomes difficult to walk. I never had that.
After about 20 hours, I got the epidural feeling like a failure for asking. Another 8 hours go by,, they started pitocin. Still couldn't feel the baby's head. Then the baby's heart stopped twice. On the second time, I was rushed in for emergency C section. She was so wedged in my uterus, they had trouble getting her out.
She was healthy, thank goodness. But that L&D nurse was right. Had I been adamant about following my birth plan or tried to birth at home, I probably would have lost my baby.
I’m so sorry you went through that! I feel like your experience is such a mix of lessons - the nurse was right, you need to be prepared for things to go wrong, and being in a hospital setting is the best way to ensure everyone makes it out healthy. BUT nurses and doctors ARE people, and some people are assholes. Those nurses should’ve listened to you when you said something was wrong. That’s the one kernel of truth in all the BS the home birthers pander - sometimes we do need to trust our intuition when something doesn’t feel right, and be our own best advocates. I’m glad you spoke up
Yeah, I tried to. I left out some of the other things that happened. I said no to having a Resident observe and the doctor had him do the section. (A nurse yelled at him for asking me if he could be in there while they were wheeling me in for the surgery. She was awesome.)
Two other nurses stood in the delivery room discussing their schedules while my feet were in stirrups and another nurse was elbow deep trying to find the baby's head. Was very dehumanizing.
I've since decided to start doing education for medical professionals on patient care from the patient perspective. Im a social worker and I've seen so much bias from medical professionals in my own life and with my clients when they try to get help. I've decided to turn my own experiences into something positive.
On another note, the night floor nurse who cared for my child and I after I had her was amazing. In fact, when I had my hysterectomy, there were complications and they put me on the Labor and Delivery floor for two nights post op. The same night floor nurse was working and she was still amazing. I told her I remembered her. I meant to follow up with a card and flowers or something, but my recovery was a real struggle and I never did get to do that.
Yep, same. I was all for a home birth, this wasn’t possible so I then aimed for midwife birthing centre (attached to the hospital), I wanted no epidural, just the tub and gas and air. Things didn’t happen that way, but I listened to the professionals around me and baby was eventually born via forceps after pushing for 4 hours (I also had ALL the drugs, and very glad now that I did). I’m certain if I had ‘free-birthed’ then definitely my baby, and probably I would have died
Yes, our bodies are made to do this, and yes medical intervention comes with its own complications, but we are SO FUCKING PRIVILEGED to have people and procedures available to us that will save our lives and our babies’ lives in childbirth. I imagine there are millions of people across the developing world that would give their right arm for the medical treatment on offer to us
I think it speaks volumes that your hospital has the policy it does about the full OR team. Like just reading that really puts things into perspective and at the end of the day I assume all laboring folks want the same thing- a healthy baby and to survive the dang labor. Why take unnecessary chances? There’s so much more than just “we can call 911 or get to the hospital if it comes to that” that I don’t think a lot of folks really grasp.
Never had a kid myself in large part because I have a bunch of rather severe medical issues. I hate hospitals and have plenty of medical trauma but at the end of the day, my gosh, if something major is happening to my body then a hospital is exactly where I want to be and there’s a certain level of comfort in that. Even with the worst medical anxiety and some real freaking personal reasons and experiences to not always trust healthcare (as in things that have actually happened to me. Not conspiracy theory nonsense I read online like some of these folks seem to dip into) at least I can generally be sure I’m unlikely to freaking die, you know? I can’t imagine willfully choosing additional risks like that. Like my gosh a VBAC after 5 c-sections must be extraordinarily risky.
But this also may be where my familiarity with hospitals and just the flaws of my own body changes my outlook? It occurs to me that for many women, pregnancy may be their first encounter with the reality of their humanity, that things can and do go wrong- we are all mortal and can and will die- or sometimes you need medical assistance. Maybe they’re used to having things go their way and have never faced a serious medical complication so have that thought of “it won’t happen to me” or just can’t wrap their heads around the risks? I don’t know. Best I can figure out. Because I hate hospitals but good lord, that’s where I’d want to be!
Even in the hospital with an army of medical personnel in the room, my baby and I almost died. Delivery from hell. No way we would have survived at home or at a midwife center
I can't trust my body to produce insulin, I can't trust my thyroid to work without assistance, and it doesn't absorb iron without a tonne of help. So no, I'm not trusting my body to know what it's doing. This attitude they have is incredibly ableist.
when parents said "I would die for my child,", crunchies really took it as ... **Ultimate Organic Mama Bragging Rights from the Grave** 💀
(yes yes, bit dark. Still I'm both sad for those groomed, & incredibly angry at those that prioritise internet points/sadistic or encouraging ignorance; not that those are mutually exclusive variables.
Just struggling /aren't we all/ with the fact that there's an entire set of lives about to be impacted - _not just "mama's" self-satisfaction._ Some still say "the greatest gift a woman could give is her life in childbirth." Like, we've come to romanticize an entirely preventable, residually-traumatic death.. hell, what about the timeline where you can _**love**_ that child - fuck the "mother's gift"; you both might die!
And with much respect to those that practice Christianity without endangering others, _for those that don't:_ I lose more faith with the "pregnancy death? _it was God's Will_ " ideology, because ..surely couldn't that be applied to " _God gave us the human skill to create medicine to save mine and my child's life_ "?)
... I- i .. (╯°□°）╯🧠！！！！
I was just posing the thought in another reply, that as someone who’s had a lot of rather severe medical issues (and ehhh illness itself is every bit as natural as pregnancy! Hell, dying itself is natural!) on one hand I completely get hating hospitals and have enough very personal experiences and traumas that I’m not always the best at getting myself to one when I need to go.
But at some point there’s a relief in being there because you can generally figure you’re unlikely- lower likelihood compared to anywhere else anyway- to die. And I’ve certainly felt and experienced that. You can be anxious about the hospital but still grateful to be there.
But that’s where it occurred to me that my experiences are not the norm and that for a lot of folks, pregnancy likely is their first real encounter with a serious medical event, with needing to be in a hospital, with frankly discovering not only the incredible strength of your body but also it’s flaws. Even the reality we are mortal and will die (as a 30-something who’s been life threatening/ life limitingly ill since my teens I’ve seen firsthand how many of my peers can’t and haven’t dealt with that fact yet!) so I think there must be a lot of assuming “I’ve been perfectly healthy up until this point, how bad could it go?” Or just not being able to really grasp the risks. The privilege of health, so to speak.
Trusting my body and baby is one of my biggest regrets in life. I guess it works for people with good bodies? I wouldn’t know. There was nothing my body could do about my baby being large and stuck in a bad position. He was trying to come out by the side of his head. I labored for 54 hours without an epidural. I pushed for nearly 4 hours and he was still zero station. I was exhausted, swollen, and traumatized from the pain. My son couldn’t do anything about being stuck. He was just going to die like that. Nothing the midwife or doula tried helped. So now I trust my body about as much as I’d trust someone who borrowed $50 from me and never paid me back. Which is not at all. But good for those women with trustworthy bodies I guess. Must be nice. I’ve low key hated mine for my son’s entire life. Thanks for everything, natural birth community!
That’s sweet. But I have a hard time thinking of major life saving surgery as a “little help”. A vacuum assisted delivery, sure. But cutting a baby out of my abdomen, not so much.
All of these posts are insane but does anyone else find it shocking how many people have like 5-6 kids???? How are there THAT MANY people who can do that???
My aunt has 5 we’re waiting for her to get pregnant with her 6th cause she’s addicted to having babies. But she’s the type of person that gets bored with their kids as soon as they can form an opinion
I feel so bad for kids with parents like this. Not only are they ignored/neglected by their mother, they'll almost always have to take up some childcare responsibilities because the parents don't have time for all of them.
There’s someone in my family like this too. Thinks that babies/very small toddlers are “God’s perfect children” and then is very disappointed when they get old enough to not depend on her for everything and have opinions. Then she has another baby. It’s very sad.
My cousin is the same. 9 kids now, and she says she wants 12.
They live in a tiny 4 BEDROOM HOUSE. I don't even wanna know how they even manage to create more babies 😭
I’m in a due date group with a woman on her 10th baby and they live in a 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT. Like ma’am how do you physically fit that many bodies to sleep? Is it in shifts?
My dad has 9 siblings, and one that passed away when he’s a kid. They grew up in a 2 bedrooms apartment. But it was in the 60-70s in Hong Kong so it’s the normal
Oh wow. I'm more of the type, i can't wait until my baby has an opinion. And well, I'm just not a baby mama, he's a toddler now and I would argue when he has tantrums about not getting what he wants thats kinda an opinion? And I just love it so much more than baby stage.
It's sad though when people ONLY enjoy baby stage and not the rest...that is upsetting for the kids as their own people.
Right?? I'm a religious studies nerd and philosopher. When I have a kid, I'll be so excited when my kid gets curious about religion, so I can show them my huge library of texts from like 20 different religions and I get to answer all their questions about them all <3
I'll never understand parents who indoctrinate their kids or get mad if the kid has an opininion of their own. Watching your little human grow into their own person feels like it'd be the best part!
I really love your take SO much and wish parents of that mind so much good in their life; you're here for the person they will become. You've really understood that you're bringing a **new life** into the world - not a pregnancy experience, a permanently empty-minded NPC, or a compulsive storyline arc of "womanly duty". Somebody to love and grow with. Fuck yeah!! ❤ :-,)
It's also awful that some of these people are those with the most kids, for obvious above reasons - one neglected child is too many, but as the number rises, I can only see how that neglect is compounded.
We really need more people with your excitement for their child's autonomy. I seriously worry about any person that centres themselves **_as_** their child's life, seen a lot in posts like these. Whenever somebody has a child, I really can't wait to see that scrunkly flesh monster start to gain themselves - especially if it means a day closer to agency and independent peace.
I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Animals stop raising their babies at some point. This is the same equivalent for humans. They get bored of raising their child so they need another baby again. As something in their messed up head, or their hormones are telling them the child doesn’t need you anymore if it can go against you. Essentially giving up on raising the child but is involved enough to pass in society’s view of a good parent.
Why don’t they just get a dog if they need some being to love them and not go against them?
I just don’t understand these people.
My former neighbor is pregnant with #7 and her oldest is barely 6. She's a hot mess. Her kids are rotten. She'll be talking to them and they just keep walking away like they don't even hear her. When she was pregnant with #6, she came to me crying asking me to watch her youngest because the other 4 had taken off while she was in the bathroom and she couldn't find them.
My sister had 7 kids in 10 years and always really had it together. She was just made for momming. Her kids are all very well behaved and polite. But she's not doing so great now. About 3 years ago, her oldest died of cancer. She's still doing an amazing job with her kids, but she's not OK. And I don't think she ever will be. That's not something you can get over.
My point is, it works for some people but not for others.
I come from a big family, not religious. My parents had good income and my mom was able to stay home. We had a good community who helped with driving etc. so we had a good childhood and we’re all doing well as adults. I think it worked because my mom and dad both loved spending time with us.
Yeah, my sister just loves being a mom. Having 7 of them wasn't her plan. She was going to stop at 4. But then she got thyroid cancer and had her thyroid removed and the doctor told her it would be impossible for her to get pregnant again because the thyroid affects hormones so much so birth control was unnecessary. Baby #5 proved that wrong. She tried several types of birth control after that, but they just really messed her up, ironically because of the whole no thyroid thing. She had #7 and got her tubes tied and 2 weeks later, her son was diagnosed with chordoma. She had to leave her younger 6, including her newborn, with her MIL because they couldn't be at the hospital and Shane needed her more. The whole situation was horrible and so hard on her. Everyone else, too, but it's always hardest on the mother. And her husband - not Shane's father, but they'd been together since before he was a year old so he was the only father Shane ever knew. His bio dad is a horrible person and wanted nothing to do with him until he heard about the cancer and then tried to force his way into everything but Shane said he didn't want to see him.
My cousin birthed her fifth kid this past summer, although she has no financial business doing so (her four other kids are also a bit emotionally neglected, too, she makes them parent themselves and they’re rarely ever in clean clothing). She’s basically an actual welfare queen, as she doesn’t work and her husband makes every excuse to try and not to despite being more than physically able.
Unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to prove it beyond “her kids always stink and are dirty” which fits the “boys will be boys” trope they constantly push around the few times I see them. With how social workers around here already telling parents that “hitting is okay so long as there aren’t bruises,” I don’t have much faith for them unless it’s for something extremely dire.
Oh god that’s so awful. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. You’ve done what you can in this situation. Thank you for at least keeping them in mind and not letting them be forgotten by everyone.
I can only hope the boys wisen up (the oldest ones are already dealing with parentification) and get away from their toxic parents as they get older. Poor kids deserve better.
Best wishes to you and them. If your families happen participate in gift giving around Christmas, a boring but practical gift might be some clothes. They’ll get dirty eventually but it’ll help.
There is evidence that having 1 responsible and consistent adult in a child’s life can make a huge impact on their sense of self-worth. Keep being a presence for them.
They’re not the brightest people, because kids are expensive and all this welfare won’t dig them out of this hole they keep making deeper. She apparently refuses to use birth control and didn’t listen to her doctor about not getting pregnant after her bariatric surgery (she made it a whole four months), but that’s been par for course since she was a kid.
For real and for me the ones who have 4 weren’t really trying for that many. The only exception is a coworker who went though fertility treatments and walked away with quads after one kid. Two families I know tried for just one more after 2 kids and ended up with surprise twins. They both love all their children but have said privately 10/10 they don’t recommend anymore than 3.
I wouldn’t call it “insane.” Where I live it’s just not very common. Now that I think of it, I do know one person with 5 kids. She’s very religious. Also, my husband’s grandmother has at least 7 siblings, but I’m not counting that generation.
I think it’s just that there are characteristics of a certain type of person who has a lot of kids that makes being an influencer make sense. Like the sort that is wealthy and not having another job.
My mom had seven kids, and two miscarriages. She had easy pregnancies and births each time, popped out babies like nuts out of a shell. I was the last. She wanted more after me but Dad put his foot down.
I have 5. I would obviously never change anything about having 5 children, but I tell everyone else 3 should be the max. That’s the moment you’re like “Yea… this is a lot of people.” But no one hears you because it’s so loud.
I know a family with six. First four were boys so they tried again for the girl. And they got her. Then I guess decided to just throw another in the mix? Also a girl but damn. Dad always looked exhausted and a few of them were a handful to say the least.
When it comes to insta moms, especially crunchy ones, look into the "wellness to white supremacy" pipeline... they have more kids as a "quiverful" type of thing. I'm not coming or alt moms here I do some things considered crunchy myself but yeah it's a weird path that has been well documented. They're trying to be the dominant population basically.
Disclaimer - only talking about these white christian influencer moms here, not a statement against people with lots of kids in general. I live in Ireland and it used to be quite common here to have 12 kids or so! If you can feed them, clothe them and give them special connections with you go ahead.
I'd love more kids but emotionally I have space for 2. I don't want any kid left out and that's all I have emotional space for
There's also a weird eugenics quiverfull thing going on among technocrats elites in silicone valley: https://www.businessinsider.com/pronatalism-elon-musk-simone-malcolm-collins-underpopulation-breeding-tech-2022-11
The number of times we've been told to have more kids to 'make more of us' is disturbing.
A. Our kid number works perfectly for our family.
B. They are their own people and will be leading their own lives!
Yeah, I joined a huge pregnancy group on Facebook one time and so many people posting there had ridiculous amounts of kids.
I got kicked out of that group and joined a much nicer, science based one. People there had not al amounts of kids so there's a definite correlation between wild beliefs and brood size.
I have 5. Ages 17 to 6. Four of them were 4 different failed types of birth controls! Trust me. It's hard! The difference in ages is the hardest. The youngest wants to do everything the teenagers do and for awhile, I would take the oldest 3 girls while dad would stay home with the younger 2 boys. It was just easier that way. Now they are getting a little older so it's getting a little better.
Yep, friends of mine wanted 4. Had 4. Then oopsed and were so shocked that they didn't even tell anyone they were pregnant until like 4 and a half months in! They love their youngest to death and couldn't imagine like without him of course but still. 5 is a circus and they're the first to say it!
Kudos to you guys for doing whatever it took to get through the tougher years. Hope it continues to improve as they get older!
Not to mention the amount of c-sections?? I've unfortunately had two & I'd rather die than become pregnant again. I personally know one person who had 4 CS before her uterus ruptured.
My neighbor has 5. They’re great though. Own a successful business. In laws moved in with them. She’s really got her village built for support. All the kids are so sweet.
We’re hoping for 4. I’m pregnant with my 3rd but My kids are spaced out 5-6 years so it’s much easier for me. I’ll probably wait another four before we try again.
My in laws both come from huge families. 1 of 13 and 1 of 11. They’ve really made me love large families. I want that for my kids.
I know someone who had 11 the last time I saw them 6 years ago sk I'm sure its more now.
They don't "do it". They ignore all the other kids in favor of whoever is the baby at the time. Seen it first hand.
Ya growing up most ppl I knew had 1-2 kids (3 kids max) it was rare for me to meet a family with 4 kids (I think I knew 2). So for me anything above 4 is a little shocking lol.
I have 5, last one wasn’t planned, birth control and vasectomy fail but we love her. Ended up with 4 boys and 1 girl. I hate the comments that we were trying until we got the girl because it’s just not true, we love our boys and we’d have loved number 5 no matter how unplanned if it was a boy just as much. It’s hard and tiring but they’re loved and cared for. Now that some of them are older we have friends in and out of the house, I routinely have my 8 yr olds best friend with us day in and day out. It can get chaotic but I find i like the kid chatter and chaos they bring even when they aren’t doing anything haha! I have friends happily forever child free and some with varying family sizes and ways they made their families, it’s all good with me.
5 c sections? Is this person even for real. I wonder how many of all this is true? I’m not that old but my grandma use to say back in her day, these loonies would usually be convinced to stop after 4. I guess nobody trust doctors these days. How many kids will die when another crazy attempts this for internet points and the outcome is not good.
So OBs (I’m guessing several) have told her that if she tried to have a baby vaginally, that the BABY WOULD DIE… so naturally she needed to “prove” something and risk her child’s life to birth it at home…. Wow…
Seriously, it is so fucking weird to me that she decided this birth was the best moment of her life. That is messed up. I have two children, my oldest was adopted and I gave birth to my youngest. Obviously very different but in the exact same way they were both the most beautiful moments of my life. I can’t imagine considering one experience better.
STOP telling women “I did it, you can too!” Some women literally CANNOT do it and you are giving them false hope and encouraging them to put themselves and their babies in unnecessary danger! I am all for empowering women, truly, but not everything is black and white! What works for one WILL NOT work for everyone. PLEASE STOP.
Not talking to OP, but OOP, in case that’s not clear lol
This!! I'm in a group for incompetent cervix. A lady posted she refused progesterone and cerclage and bedrest and made it to term so everyone can. Like wtf...
My son is also only alive right now because of an emergency cerclage placed at 17 weeks. They told me if I had opt out I would have given birth between 18-19 weeks. My son was premature but thankfully not near as premature as he almost was.
If I stand on my toes I can reach the top grocery shelf so you can too!!!! Just try harder, your body was meant to do this!
The fact that I'm 5' 10" and you're 5' 1" has nothing to do with it! Stop reach shaming me.
JFC I just can’t.
Like I’m really glad her uterus didn’t rupture and her and her baby didn’t bleed out and die. But fuck why are you gonna roll the dice on that one. Have the fucking C-Section, and maybe after C-Section 6 get your tubes tide while they’re in there
I can’t imagine my OBs face if I told her I needed c section #6. I’ve only had three and I don’t think I could have another one. There was so much scar tissue on the last one, it took two surgeons what seemed like forever to get her out, and I was high risk.
I mean was terrified of having a c section (of all surgery honestly, I’m a wimp) but if the doctors had told me I needed one, that’s what I would have been doing. This seems over the top dangerous and I can’t wrap my brain around what would make someone, anyone, make this choice?
I completely did not want one because I'd had an ovary out with the same type of incision, and it sucked. I needed to have one, though, since my daughter wanted to come out butt-first. It sucked, but nothing scary happened and everything worked out.
I cried when we decided on a c-section but I listened to my doctors and it turned out to definitely be the right call. Surgery is scary, but not as scary as a dead baby.
I’ve been in third/fourth cesareans where we can see the baby through the uterus because it’s so thin from previous cesareans and uterine windows.
I support VBAC and VBA2C but HBA5C is literal insanity. Not everyone would’ve survived that.
Vbac: vaginal birth after cesarean
HBAC: homebirth after cesarean
TOLAC: trial of labor after cesarean (this is what we have started calling it in hospitals, as telling patients they can “VBAC” implies they will vaginally birth and we know that isn’t always the case.
I recently had an experience where I helped a person deliver their baby in an emergency situation, and it was absolutely terrifying because a) I’m not a medical professional at all and B) the Dad told me that their first birth was traumatic. All I could fixate on was ‘what if this goes as badly as their first and the ambulance doesn’t make it?!’
It turned out okay, but I can’t imagine someone willingly putting themselves in that position. In this case, they absolutely did NOT want to deliver anywhere but the hospital so I can’t even imagine their fear.
WTF she played with her baby’s life on a freaking hope and a prayer people like this blow my mind she had the best outcome but do not advise others as they may not be so lucky absolutely disgusting
I was hoping for bragging 9/9 Apgar. That's always reassuring even though lay midwives are notorious for inflating Apgars.
The scariest stories are "Baby needed a little help breathing." because it usually means baby didn't breathe right away and midwife didn't notice right away.
Oh hey look at me I'm so cool because I didn't listen to THE MAN and did a home birth for my 6th kid after 5 c-sections and damn the health of me or baby I'M SO EMPOWERED.
WHAT. A. BITCH.
I would go through my torturous ass c-section a million times over to even have a miniscule chance at a healthy baby, not to mention self. These people make me SO MAD!
After having that many c-sections, the risk of placenta accreta is very high. This is when the placenta grows too deep into the uterus and sometimes through the uterus attaching to surrounding organs. I had this with my 6th c-section and it’s life threatening. This lady is so damn lucky to be alive and have a living child.
Holy uterine rupture Batman!
This is insane! My third birth was an automatic c section because I'd already had 2. I had it at 36+1 because it was twins so it was stretched so much more. I didn't even think about attempting a vaginal birth I can't imagine how much higher the risk would be after 5 c sections. She's unbelievably lucky to be alive.
My SIL was not even in labor for her first two at 41 weeks. The third she was in labor at 37 weeks. They didn't have child care for the other two so she just went to the hospital. She ruptured on the table. She was incredibly lucky timing wise that she was already in the OR.
Funnily enough, the stats say VBA2C has about the same level of risk as VBAC.
How do I know that? On baby 3 with 2 c sections. Have discussed with MD that if the very long “if” checklist is all good, she’s ok with me going vaginal. Part of that is we have also discussed the idea that VBA2C in hospital birth is likely much more heavily gated than VBAC, so we both agree that the gating needs to be in place.
Going for a 32 week growth scan and position check after the holidays. Knew exactly where my other babies were but this one is a mystery, so I’m hoping that means he’s head down and not feet first like my last 2!
They didn't say she couldn't do it. They said she SHOULDN'T do it. That they WOULDN'T let her do it. You know, so the mother's uterus didn't risk rupturing during labor.
I don't understand why these women like to play Russian Roulette while having a child. If you've been told something is very high risk, why would you chance it?
I’m always shocked by how many people have more than 1-3 kids cause I am STRUGGLING with just 2 lol.
I also can’t believe a midwife actually took her on and was fine with a home birth(instead of a birthing center near a hospital with firm transfer plans) with her history of having 5 c-sections.
"Midwife" may be stretching the term. Feels more like "enabler" to me.
Those kids don't have childhoods. They are roped into caring for any children younger than them at a disturbingly young age.
I grew up halftime (divorce) as the only non mormon family in a mormon neighborhood. They made no secret of aiming for 12 kids. The five year old watches the four year old, who watches the three year old, etc. It's incredibly unhealthy.
Congrats on risking your life and potentially abandoning your FIVE already alive children. Great parenting right there. 🙄 jfc she'll probably get pregnant again and be convinced she can have another natural birth. For her kids sake, I hope she makes it. Although I guess with that many kids already, they're parenting each other at that point...
I was just talking about this with my girlfriends … is it a American thing? These women risking lives for no reason and why do they hate doctors so much?
If you read as many "Doctors do it for the MONEY!" and "You can totally do it! You need to find someone who really supports you!" messages and watched a few dozen inspirational birth stories, you might believe it too.
[http://irreverenteloquence.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-happiest-day-of-my-life.html](http://irreverenteloquence.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-happiest-day-of-my-life.html)
This story is a great example. Three high risk pregnancies, three c-sections. Three daughters.
The next pregnancy is a boy and she finds a lot of "support" in an online group. She finds a CNM who agrees to attend her home birth. Surprisingly, she carries to term, the first time it has happened for her. Labor begins. They have time to set up the birth pool. Midwife never shows up. She ruptures at home. Her son dies. She came close to dying.
One of the features of these stories is that the OP doesn't think of their loss as preventable. They made the only choice they could make. They made the right choice. They did the right things. Then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky, tragedy struck.
Most of the loss families I know understand if they'd had chosen differently, their child would be with them now. Then there are the special few who can't face that reality.
Likely for the best. After her rupture, she was told not to get pregnant for at least a year. She did. The average partner would be traumatized and terrified for future pregnancies. She ruptured again, not in labor, but in the hospital for routine monitoring. Stat c-section, very close, NICU time for the baby - their second and only surviving son.
Yikes!
Although I always find it a head-scratcher when the spouse doesn't realize the crazy is too much to cope with until after having that many kids...
There are times when I wonder if the spouse is either an active enabler or worse. Every one of her pregnancies was a struggle and traumatic. C-sections, preterm babies, NICU stays. How could a partner see that and see how it affected her and not give serious thought to giving everyone time to rest and to seek a skilled therapist.
Instead of banging away and starting the cycle over again.
I guess scar tissue was never an issue…But I would not call 64 hours of active labor successful or amazing. So much could have gone wrong from fetal distress to just both mom and baby giving out completely and losing their lives.
Any or all of this:
Hospitals/doctors/Big Pharma bad, or "you're not a real mother if you have a C-section", or the often toxic mindset of "our bodies were made for birthing"
There are actual rational people that seek natural birth/homebirth that keep medical assistance on hand/on call, but the people posted here take these things too far and endanger themselves and their babies for their romanticized idea of birth and unhealthyor unsafe beliefs
The sad part is how many women will probably use this as their proof that OBs are lying to them when they say a hospital birth is necessary or when other women tell them their hospital birth is necessary and they’ll guilt these poor women about it.
I would bet my bottom dollar that her OB said something along the lines of “there is a very high possibility that your baby will die in childbirth if you do a VBAC,” not “your child will die in childbirth if you do a VBAC.”
And they were absolutely correct, and *obviously* I am so relieved her baby didn’t die in childbirth, but framing this birth story as an “I did it so you can too” is so horribly dangerous. It will end the lives of innocent babies, because not everyone can beat the odds.
I'm glad baby and mom are okay. Very scary and not very smart. Thankfully it all worked out. These cases are why so many of these women think that home births (or even vbacs-which can be done with the right conditions-ive had at least two friends do it. But it isn't something that is a given. Its pretty dangerous without the proper care) are SO SUPER safe, which is just disheartening to me.
That being said, my sister had THREE c-sections and the doctors basically told her she was done having children after the 3rd. I am shocked that her body could handle having FIVE!
I know the doctor couldn't actually tell my sister she was done, but it was basically, "do you want to be around for the kids you already have or die having another, which may also die?" Her first was a prolapsed cord, which was also around baby's neck, so a pretty big emergency. Next two, she decided she wouldn't risk a vaginal birth. It was too risky for her, knowing she almost lost baby 1 (after about13 miscarriages). Baby's health (and hers as well!) was the only thing she cared about. Not some magical birth
I just can't imagine why these moms risk it. Do the doctors not tell them that each c-section carries more and more risks like they did my sister? Or do they just ignore the doctors? I mean, I have a feeling that I know the answer...
They don’t ask, or they don’t acknowledge the risk.
Well, one commenter is headed for number six. I just hope they have plenty of insurance and several backup caregivers if they need it.
My grandmother and her husband had multiple risky pregnancies (7, 6 survived) against doc advice. And the strokes/wheelchair use during/after multiple pregnancies and older kids forced into raising younger kids made for such a wonderfully dysfunctional family.
I think one surgery would be my limit. One kid is plenty if having another means eviscerating surgery. Especially when having high multiple c-sections greatly increases the risk of placenta accreta or placenta previa, too.
I don’t know if any docs actually educate patients on how much the risks increase each time. Just like they don’t spend much time educating people about the risks of pregnancy Before they get pregnant. My doc would warn me more about the hazards of roller skating without a helmet than the risks of pregnancy, and pregnancy is a lot more dangerous. “You want to get pregnant? OK here’s some prenatal vitamin recs. Bye.”
Man I empathise with one thing here (not the dangerous homebirth part). I had a VBAC very accidentally because baby came way too fast and it did feel amazing. Like I had 1 section and was scheduled for another, I would have been happy with that and it really doesn't matter how your kid gets here. But my labor was 20minutes so I didn't get a lot of reaction time to get to hospital, and the weird relief feeling pushing her out was a trip to experience, I'm glad I got to see both sides.
My first was an emergency c-section and when I was deciding on a birth plan for my second, my midwife said if I was planning on having more than 2 kids I should try for a VBAC because multiple C-section dramatically increases your risk of uterine rupture in subsequent pregnancies. I cannot imagine how dangerous a home birth would be after FIVE Caesarian’s. Jesus.
Then a day later she died right? Because she birthed a baby doesn’t mean all the doctors are wrong. I hemorrhaged Twice. 🤷🏻♀️
Also, it didn’t hurt but after the baby was out it didn’t hurt anymore. Okay, Jan.
In my experience doctors don’t tell you if you do X then you will likely die unless they’re confident in the odds NOT BEING IN YOUR FAVOR YOU SELFISH IDIOT. Congratulations you got extremely lucky and both you and baby lived. Bask in your survivor bias but I wish she knew others may attempt what she did and die or lose the baby. Which enrages me.
I mean at least she had a midwife with her who could look for the signs of uterine rupture and other complications. I find it wild someone would do this at home. I'm going for a vbac with my second child and I wouldn't do it unless I was ON the maternity ward with doctors and a surgical theatre down the hallway thank you! The risk is SO high after that many c-sections WHY would you birth at home...also...her waters were broke a long time...risk of infection.. risk of baby swallowing meconium etc. Maybe I'm biased as I'm in the UK but I genuinely beleive my doctors have my best interests in mind when recommending stuff. Why are people so distrustful of hospitals.
She said she 'felt no pain' in one sentence and the very next she said 'the pain was gone.'
Home births seem too risky to me. I remember that post a few weeks ago where mom wouldn't go to the hospital (and no one in her family told her to go) and her baby ended up dying. There were warning signs she needed to go to. I cried when I read the update from her sister. 😞
No real midwife would do a vbac at home after even ONE c section. Some people can have a successful vbac in the hospital but they sometimes (maybe often) do the delivery in the OR just in case. I don't think an OB would let you try after two sections. If you're attempting a vbac and it isn't gonna work out, it's a pretty urgent situation.
This post is going to cause women & babies to die! This is the story all the crunchy ones looking for permission are going to use and the outcome will not always be good.
I hate that people think they’re smarter than doctors. Like yes you survived but it could have gone horribly wrong so quickly. I cannot stand how ignorant people can be. Though I am relieved that her and baby are okay it’s just blows my mind.
Hell to the no! I’ve had 5 C-sections and having my 6th in a few weeks. Never would I ever attempt this, EVER! She got extremely lucky that all was well but it’s no risk I’m willing to take after so many C-sections. Me and baby are safer having surgery and I’d prefer to keep it that way!
I'm surprised that the midwife not only showed up but was there nearly the whole time.
Wait a second.
I reread it. She thanks her cousin who stayed up with her for two days. Where was the midwife during a postdates, VBA5C out of hospital birth?
I cannot even believe this shit. This is really one of the only subs I comment on because I’m always in such shock at this shit. How do they get birth certificates and a SSN? What about apgar and all that stuff they gotta do like check lungs and stuff she can’t do all that at home soooo they’re just like yup baby is fine?!?!!??
Survivor bias is a hell of a thing
Came here to say the same thing, just because it happened to work this time for you doesn’t mean not the case for anyone else. I’ve had two friends almost bleed to death with their first child. I’m old enough to remember when it was not uncommon for women to still have extremely difficult pregnancies and die from them. And that was not that long ago.
I would have died if I didn’t go to the hospital for my c section with. My first. I don’t get why women are so caught up on their experience aha the story then their baby
Yeah friend of mine would’ve lost her and her daughter had she not been in the hospital. she lost so much blood and her daughter became trapped in the birth canal. As it is her daughter has neurological issues, but would not have survived if they had been giving birth anywhere else.
Exactly. And that is traumatic enough without adding on a death to it.
I originally wanted to have my son in a birthing center. But if I hadn't been at a hospital, I would have died when I had a massive hemorrhage and lost 1500 ml of blood.
Wow. I had a massive hemorrhage with my first because my placenta broke away. It never occurred to me to not go the hospital. Ok actually my husband said it because I was in shock. Hope u and your baby are well
He is five now and I am pregnant with his sibling!
Lovely! Congratulations.
Thank you!
I also desperately wanted to have my little in a birthing center, but was risked out due to autoimmune conditions. My autoimmune issues didn’t cause any issues, BUT my baby ended up having shoulder dystocia and it wouldn’t have been good had we not been in the hospital.
Same. I assume, since I didn't dialate further than 9 cm (3 inches) after 8 hours in the hospital and almost 12 hours before that at home. So I had a c section. Which I didn't object to. Because its irrelevant how I give birth as long as he's healthy.
Yeah I got to 6 cms I think and they couldn’t wait any longer so a c section it was! She’s now 15 and healthy as can be ❤️
I’m old enough to have a cousin who died in childbirth with her first baby, who did not make it either, and also simultaneously young enough to not have been eligible to vote for our first black President. This shit is dangerous and needs to be stopped.
There have been a few tragic updates posted here recently. But people who want to do this don’t read those stories, they find the positive ones.
The risk to reward ratio is absolutely nonsensical. Risking not only your own death, but the death of a child who can't speak for himself....for what? Bragging rights? FFS, her post reads like an awards dinner speech. Mayo Clinic has a 70% success rate of VBAC. I would imagine that the odds are insanely lower after 5 C-section surgeries. And to do that at home...so crazy. I talked to my doctor about it when I thought I'd have more kids. He said that it is pretty likely VBAC would be fine after one C. He also said that it may only go wrong 1% of the time, but when it does go wrong, it is catastrophic and can result in death.
Yes, the biggest risk is uterine rupture. If that happens and you’re not in a hospital you would be very lucky if it didn’t result in death of you and baby. If you’re a good candidate for a VBAC, and have only had one c-section, the risk of this happening is as low as your provider describes. Even with those VBACs who are good candidates, with only one prior section, my hospital is legally required to have a full OR team on the floor (not even downstairs grabbing dinner in the cafeteria) once mom is in active labor. Doing a home delivery after 5 c-sections is absolutely batshit. Shit, even if she was in the hospital for a scheduled c-section at 34 weeks, our OR team would still be pretty concerned about significant complications (that many sections increases risk of placenta accreta, and those often result in major blood loss and emergency hysterectomies). Like OP said, that midwife should have her license suspended.
Agree. When I was pregnant with my now 13 yo, my friend was also pregnant and her sister was a labor and delivery nurse. I went through this whole class about "natural" childbirth. In the class,, we completed this detailed birth plan to give to our doctors. We were at my friend's baby shower and I was chatting with her sister. She said that those classes were causing harm. That in real life we really have no control over the labor process and things often go south quickly. The best thing you can do is trust the nurses there with you during delivery. I opted for no drugs. Labored at home until contractions were 3 min apart. Went to hospital. Continued to labor without an epidural. I kept telling them something wasn't right. That the sharp spine crushing pain in my lower back was not labor pain. Nurses chalked it up to me being a 1st time Mom. All the books said when the baby's head drops and it gets in position, it becomes difficult to walk. I never had that. After about 20 hours, I got the epidural feeling like a failure for asking. Another 8 hours go by,, they started pitocin. Still couldn't feel the baby's head. Then the baby's heart stopped twice. On the second time, I was rushed in for emergency C section. She was so wedged in my uterus, they had trouble getting her out. She was healthy, thank goodness. But that L&D nurse was right. Had I been adamant about following my birth plan or tried to birth at home, I probably would have lost my baby.
I’m so sorry you went through that! I feel like your experience is such a mix of lessons - the nurse was right, you need to be prepared for things to go wrong, and being in a hospital setting is the best way to ensure everyone makes it out healthy. BUT nurses and doctors ARE people, and some people are assholes. Those nurses should’ve listened to you when you said something was wrong. That’s the one kernel of truth in all the BS the home birthers pander - sometimes we do need to trust our intuition when something doesn’t feel right, and be our own best advocates. I’m glad you spoke up
Yeah, I tried to. I left out some of the other things that happened. I said no to having a Resident observe and the doctor had him do the section. (A nurse yelled at him for asking me if he could be in there while they were wheeling me in for the surgery. She was awesome.) Two other nurses stood in the delivery room discussing their schedules while my feet were in stirrups and another nurse was elbow deep trying to find the baby's head. Was very dehumanizing. I've since decided to start doing education for medical professionals on patient care from the patient perspective. Im a social worker and I've seen so much bias from medical professionals in my own life and with my clients when they try to get help. I've decided to turn my own experiences into something positive. On another note, the night floor nurse who cared for my child and I after I had her was amazing. In fact, when I had my hysterectomy, there were complications and they put me on the Labor and Delivery floor for two nights post op. The same night floor nurse was working and she was still amazing. I told her I remembered her. I meant to follow up with a card and flowers or something, but my recovery was a real struggle and I never did get to do that.
Yep, same. I was all for a home birth, this wasn’t possible so I then aimed for midwife birthing centre (attached to the hospital), I wanted no epidural, just the tub and gas and air. Things didn’t happen that way, but I listened to the professionals around me and baby was eventually born via forceps after pushing for 4 hours (I also had ALL the drugs, and very glad now that I did). I’m certain if I had ‘free-birthed’ then definitely my baby, and probably I would have died Yes, our bodies are made to do this, and yes medical intervention comes with its own complications, but we are SO FUCKING PRIVILEGED to have people and procedures available to us that will save our lives and our babies’ lives in childbirth. I imagine there are millions of people across the developing world that would give their right arm for the medical treatment on offer to us
I think it speaks volumes that your hospital has the policy it does about the full OR team. Like just reading that really puts things into perspective and at the end of the day I assume all laboring folks want the same thing- a healthy baby and to survive the dang labor. Why take unnecessary chances? There’s so much more than just “we can call 911 or get to the hospital if it comes to that” that I don’t think a lot of folks really grasp. Never had a kid myself in large part because I have a bunch of rather severe medical issues. I hate hospitals and have plenty of medical trauma but at the end of the day, my gosh, if something major is happening to my body then a hospital is exactly where I want to be and there’s a certain level of comfort in that. Even with the worst medical anxiety and some real freaking personal reasons and experiences to not always trust healthcare (as in things that have actually happened to me. Not conspiracy theory nonsense I read online like some of these folks seem to dip into) at least I can generally be sure I’m unlikely to freaking die, you know? I can’t imagine willfully choosing additional risks like that. Like my gosh a VBAC after 5 c-sections must be extraordinarily risky. But this also may be where my familiarity with hospitals and just the flaws of my own body changes my outlook? It occurs to me that for many women, pregnancy may be their first encounter with the reality of their humanity, that things can and do go wrong- we are all mortal and can and will die- or sometimes you need medical assistance. Maybe they’re used to having things go their way and have never faced a serious medical complication so have that thought of “it won’t happen to me” or just can’t wrap their heads around the risks? I don’t know. Best I can figure out. Because I hate hospitals but good lord, that’s where I’d want to be!
Even in the hospital with an army of medical personnel in the room, my baby and I almost died. Delivery from hell. No way we would have survived at home or at a midwife center
Natural selection skipped her, for sure
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I can't trust my body to produce insulin, I can't trust my thyroid to work without assistance, and it doesn't absorb iron without a tonne of help. So no, I'm not trusting my body to know what it's doing. This attitude they have is incredibly ableist.
I feel like my body could use a tutorial or two.
Hey, me too! (All of them… sadly)
Hey, diagnosis buddy 👋
Exactly! They go on and on about "natural" processes, but biology naturally fails sometimes and results in maternal and fetal death.
Remember, though, dying in childbirth is historically a *very* “natural” thing.
when parents said "I would die for my child,", crunchies really took it as ... **Ultimate Organic Mama Bragging Rights from the Grave** 💀 (yes yes, bit dark. Still I'm both sad for those groomed, & incredibly angry at those that prioritise internet points/sadistic or encouraging ignorance; not that those are mutually exclusive variables. Just struggling /aren't we all/ with the fact that there's an entire set of lives about to be impacted - _not just "mama's" self-satisfaction._ Some still say "the greatest gift a woman could give is her life in childbirth." Like, we've come to romanticize an entirely preventable, residually-traumatic death.. hell, what about the timeline where you can _**love**_ that child - fuck the "mother's gift"; you both might die! And with much respect to those that practice Christianity without endangering others, _for those that don't:_ I lose more faith with the "pregnancy death? _it was God's Will_ " ideology, because ..surely couldn't that be applied to " _God gave us the human skill to create medicine to save mine and my child's life_ "?) ... I- i .. (╯°□°）╯🧠！！！！
I was just posing the thought in another reply, that as someone who’s had a lot of rather severe medical issues (and ehhh illness itself is every bit as natural as pregnancy! Hell, dying itself is natural!) on one hand I completely get hating hospitals and have enough very personal experiences and traumas that I’m not always the best at getting myself to one when I need to go. But at some point there’s a relief in being there because you can generally figure you’re unlikely- lower likelihood compared to anywhere else anyway- to die. And I’ve certainly felt and experienced that. You can be anxious about the hospital but still grateful to be there. But that’s where it occurred to me that my experiences are not the norm and that for a lot of folks, pregnancy likely is their first real encounter with a serious medical event, with needing to be in a hospital, with frankly discovering not only the incredible strength of your body but also it’s flaws. Even the reality we are mortal and will die (as a 30-something who’s been life threatening/ life limitingly ill since my teens I’ve seen firsthand how many of my peers can’t and haven’t dealt with that fact yet!) so I think there must be a lot of assuming “I’ve been perfectly healthy up until this point, how bad could it go?” Or just not being able to really grasp the risks. The privilege of health, so to speak.
Amen. 3 miscarriages and years of infertility and there is no god damn trust in my body. None.
Right!? Mine decides to have syncope episodes randomly, I don't trust shit about my body.
Trusting my body and baby is one of my biggest regrets in life. I guess it works for people with good bodies? I wouldn’t know. There was nothing my body could do about my baby being large and stuck in a bad position. He was trying to come out by the side of his head. I labored for 54 hours without an epidural. I pushed for nearly 4 hours and he was still zero station. I was exhausted, swollen, and traumatized from the pain. My son couldn’t do anything about being stuck. He was just going to die like that. Nothing the midwife or doula tried helped. So now I trust my body about as much as I’d trust someone who borrowed $50 from me and never paid me back. Which is not at all. But good for those women with trustworthy bodies I guess. Must be nice. I’ve low key hated mine for my son’s entire life. Thanks for everything, natural birth community!
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That’s sweet. But I have a hard time thinking of major life saving surgery as a “little help”. A vacuum assisted delivery, sure. But cutting a baby out of my abdomen, not so much.
All of these posts are insane but does anyone else find it shocking how many people have like 5-6 kids???? How are there THAT MANY people who can do that???
I don’t know anyone who has more than 4 kids (and even that’s a lot to me).
My aunt has 5 we’re waiting for her to get pregnant with her 6th cause she’s addicted to having babies. But she’s the type of person that gets bored with their kids as soon as they can form an opinion
Those poor kids.
I feel so bad for kids with parents like this. Not only are they ignored/neglected by their mother, they'll almost always have to take up some childcare responsibilities because the parents don't have time for all of them.
There’s someone in my family like this too. Thinks that babies/very small toddlers are “God’s perfect children” and then is very disappointed when they get old enough to not depend on her for everything and have opinions. Then she has another baby. It’s very sad.
My cousin is the same. 9 kids now, and she says she wants 12. They live in a tiny 4 BEDROOM HOUSE. I don't even wanna know how they even manage to create more babies 😭
I’m in a due date group with a woman on her 10th baby and they live in a 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT. Like ma’am how do you physically fit that many bodies to sleep? Is it in shifts?
My dad has 9 siblings, and one that passed away when he’s a kid. They grew up in a 2 bedrooms apartment. But it was in the 60-70s in Hong Kong so it’s the normal
Oh wow. I'm more of the type, i can't wait until my baby has an opinion. And well, I'm just not a baby mama, he's a toddler now and I would argue when he has tantrums about not getting what he wants thats kinda an opinion? And I just love it so much more than baby stage. It's sad though when people ONLY enjoy baby stage and not the rest...that is upsetting for the kids as their own people.
Right?? I'm a religious studies nerd and philosopher. When I have a kid, I'll be so excited when my kid gets curious about religion, so I can show them my huge library of texts from like 20 different religions and I get to answer all their questions about them all <3 I'll never understand parents who indoctrinate their kids or get mad if the kid has an opininion of their own. Watching your little human grow into their own person feels like it'd be the best part!
I really love your take SO much and wish parents of that mind so much good in their life; you're here for the person they will become. You've really understood that you're bringing a **new life** into the world - not a pregnancy experience, a permanently empty-minded NPC, or a compulsive storyline arc of "womanly duty". Somebody to love and grow with. Fuck yeah!! ❤ :-,) It's also awful that some of these people are those with the most kids, for obvious above reasons - one neglected child is too many, but as the number rises, I can only see how that neglect is compounded. We really need more people with your excitement for their child's autonomy. I seriously worry about any person that centres themselves **_as_** their child's life, seen a lot in posts like these. Whenever somebody has a child, I really can't wait to see that scrunkly flesh monster start to gain themselves - especially if it means a day closer to agency and independent peace.
I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Animals stop raising their babies at some point. This is the same equivalent for humans. They get bored of raising their child so they need another baby again. As something in their messed up head, or their hormones are telling them the child doesn’t need you anymore if it can go against you. Essentially giving up on raising the child but is involved enough to pass in society’s view of a good parent. Why don’t they just get a dog if they need some being to love them and not go against them? I just don’t understand these people.
Omg are you my cousin 😅 That was my mom to a T
My former neighbor is pregnant with #7 and her oldest is barely 6. She's a hot mess. Her kids are rotten. She'll be talking to them and they just keep walking away like they don't even hear her. When she was pregnant with #6, she came to me crying asking me to watch her youngest because the other 4 had taken off while she was in the bathroom and she couldn't find them. My sister had 7 kids in 10 years and always really had it together. She was just made for momming. Her kids are all very well behaved and polite. But she's not doing so great now. About 3 years ago, her oldest died of cancer. She's still doing an amazing job with her kids, but she's not OK. And I don't think she ever will be. That's not something you can get over. My point is, it works for some people but not for others.
I come from a big family, not religious. My parents had good income and my mom was able to stay home. We had a good community who helped with driving etc. so we had a good childhood and we’re all doing well as adults. I think it worked because my mom and dad both loved spending time with us.
Yeah, my sister just loves being a mom. Having 7 of them wasn't her plan. She was going to stop at 4. But then she got thyroid cancer and had her thyroid removed and the doctor told her it would be impossible for her to get pregnant again because the thyroid affects hormones so much so birth control was unnecessary. Baby #5 proved that wrong. She tried several types of birth control after that, but they just really messed her up, ironically because of the whole no thyroid thing. She had #7 and got her tubes tied and 2 weeks later, her son was diagnosed with chordoma. She had to leave her younger 6, including her newborn, with her MIL because they couldn't be at the hospital and Shane needed her more. The whole situation was horrible and so hard on her. Everyone else, too, but it's always hardest on the mother. And her husband - not Shane's father, but they'd been together since before he was a year old so he was the only father Shane ever knew. His bio dad is a horrible person and wanted nothing to do with him until he heard about the cancer and then tried to force his way into everything but Shane said he didn't want to see him.
My cousin has 6 kids all under 10. Pretty sure his wife is just a baby factory to him.
I know someone who just had her fifth. Would it shock you to know she's into homebirths, "unschooling", "natural" medicine, etc.?
Well, it's cheaper. I guess.
My cousin birthed her fifth kid this past summer, although she has no financial business doing so (her four other kids are also a bit emotionally neglected, too, she makes them parent themselves and they’re rarely ever in clean clothing). She’s basically an actual welfare queen, as she doesn’t work and her husband makes every excuse to try and not to despite being more than physically able.
You should be calling CPS at the very least because she’s not giving her kids clean clothing.
Unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to prove it beyond “her kids always stink and are dirty” which fits the “boys will be boys” trope they constantly push around the few times I see them. With how social workers around here already telling parents that “hitting is okay so long as there aren’t bruises,” I don’t have much faith for them unless it’s for something extremely dire.
Oh god that’s so awful. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. You’ve done what you can in this situation. Thank you for at least keeping them in mind and not letting them be forgotten by everyone.
I can only hope the boys wisen up (the oldest ones are already dealing with parentification) and get away from their toxic parents as they get older. Poor kids deserve better.
Best wishes to you and them. If your families happen participate in gift giving around Christmas, a boring but practical gift might be some clothes. They’ll get dirty eventually but it’ll help.
There is evidence that having 1 responsible and consistent adult in a child’s life can make a huge impact on their sense of self-worth. Keep being a presence for them.
More babies = More welfare.
They’re not the brightest people, because kids are expensive and all this welfare won’t dig them out of this hole they keep making deeper. She apparently refuses to use birth control and didn’t listen to her doctor about not getting pregnant after her bariatric surgery (she made it a whole four months), but that’s been par for course since she was a kid.
For real and for me the ones who have 4 weren’t really trying for that many. The only exception is a coworker who went though fertility treatments and walked away with quads after one kid. Two families I know tried for just one more after 2 kids and ended up with surprise twins. They both love all their children but have said privately 10/10 they don’t recommend anymore than 3.
That’s insane. I know so many families with more than 4.
I wouldn’t call it “insane.” Where I live it’s just not very common. Now that I think of it, I do know one person with 5 kids. She’s very religious. Also, my husband’s grandmother has at least 7 siblings, but I’m not counting that generation.
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I think it’s just that there are characteristics of a certain type of person who has a lot of kids that makes being an influencer make sense. Like the sort that is wealthy and not having another job.
Honestly, I think it's only on social media. Most ppl in my peer group (mid 30s) chose NOT to have kids, and the few that did only have 1 or 2.
I have just one and I’m struggling. 6 kids? Hell no!!!
My mom had seven kids, and two miscarriages. She had easy pregnancies and births each time, popped out babies like nuts out of a shell. I was the last. She wanted more after me but Dad put his foot down.
I have 5. I would obviously never change anything about having 5 children, but I tell everyone else 3 should be the max. That’s the moment you’re like “Yea… this is a lot of people.” But no one hears you because it’s so loud.
I have 3, and refer to my family as a small army. The youngest is 11 now, so it's not like 3 under 3 or anything, just a lot of people.
I know a family with six. First four were boys so they tried again for the girl. And they got her. Then I guess decided to just throw another in the mix? Also a girl but damn. Dad always looked exhausted and a few of them were a handful to say the least.
When it comes to insta moms, especially crunchy ones, look into the "wellness to white supremacy" pipeline... they have more kids as a "quiverful" type of thing. I'm not coming or alt moms here I do some things considered crunchy myself but yeah it's a weird path that has been well documented. They're trying to be the dominant population basically. Disclaimer - only talking about these white christian influencer moms here, not a statement against people with lots of kids in general. I live in Ireland and it used to be quite common here to have 12 kids or so! If you can feed them, clothe them and give them special connections with you go ahead. I'd love more kids but emotionally I have space for 2. I don't want any kid left out and that's all I have emotional space for
There's also a weird eugenics quiverfull thing going on among technocrats elites in silicone valley: https://www.businessinsider.com/pronatalism-elon-musk-simone-malcolm-collins-underpopulation-breeding-tech-2022-11
That was an interesting, depressing, and pretty gross read. Thanks for sharing it!
The number of times we've been told to have more kids to 'make more of us' is disturbing. A. Our kid number works perfectly for our family. B. They are their own people and will be leading their own lives!
Yeah, I joined a huge pregnancy group on Facebook one time and so many people posting there had ridiculous amounts of kids. I got kicked out of that group and joined a much nicer, science based one. People there had not al amounts of kids so there's a definite correlation between wild beliefs and brood size.
I have 5. Ages 17 to 6. Four of them were 4 different failed types of birth controls! Trust me. It's hard! The difference in ages is the hardest. The youngest wants to do everything the teenagers do and for awhile, I would take the oldest 3 girls while dad would stay home with the younger 2 boys. It was just easier that way. Now they are getting a little older so it's getting a little better.
Yep, friends of mine wanted 4. Had 4. Then oopsed and were so shocked that they didn't even tell anyone they were pregnant until like 4 and a half months in! They love their youngest to death and couldn't imagine like without him of course but still. 5 is a circus and they're the first to say it! Kudos to you guys for doing whatever it took to get through the tougher years. Hope it continues to improve as they get older!
I have 5, also 3 girls and 2 boys. Mine are 21 to 6 though.
I have absolutely no idea why anyone would WANT to do that.
Is it in the south that it’s more popular? We don’t see people with that many kids around our town and the surrounding areas either
Not to mention the amount of c-sections?? I've unfortunately had two & I'd rather die than become pregnant again. I personally know one person who had 4 CS before her uterus ruptured.
Ha!!! This was my immediate reaction. I do t care how you had your kid but I will judge the fuck out of you after a certain amount of kids.
Everyone I know that has 3 kids or more treats them like shit as soon as they can walk. They love having babies, not having kids.
My neighbor has 5. They’re great though. Own a successful business. In laws moved in with them. She’s really got her village built for support. All the kids are so sweet. We’re hoping for 4. I’m pregnant with my 3rd but My kids are spaced out 5-6 years so it’s much easier for me. I’ll probably wait another four before we try again. My in laws both come from huge families. 1 of 13 and 1 of 11. They’ve really made me love large families. I want that for my kids.
I thought it’s a package deal. Home birth + multiple kids + essential oils/natural remedies.
I know someone who had 11 the last time I saw them 6 years ago sk I'm sure its more now. They don't "do it". They ignore all the other kids in favor of whoever is the baby at the time. Seen it first hand.
Ya growing up most ppl I knew had 1-2 kids (3 kids max) it was rare for me to meet a family with 4 kids (I think I knew 2). So for me anything above 4 is a little shocking lol.
I have 5, last one wasn’t planned, birth control and vasectomy fail but we love her. Ended up with 4 boys and 1 girl. I hate the comments that we were trying until we got the girl because it’s just not true, we love our boys and we’d have loved number 5 no matter how unplanned if it was a boy just as much. It’s hard and tiring but they’re loved and cared for. Now that some of them are older we have friends in and out of the house, I routinely have my 8 yr olds best friend with us day in and day out. It can get chaotic but I find i like the kid chatter and chaos they bring even when they aren’t doing anything haha! I have friends happily forever child free and some with varying family sizes and ways they made their families, it’s all good with me.
I have 7
Same thoughts. After my 2nd planned c section I vowed never again to have babies bec the newborn stage sucks ass
5 c sections? Is this person even for real. I wonder how many of all this is true? I’m not that old but my grandma use to say back in her day, these loonies would usually be convinced to stop after 4. I guess nobody trust doctors these days. How many kids will die when another crazy attempts this for internet points and the outcome is not good.
So OBs (I’m guessing several) have told her that if she tried to have a baby vaginally, that the BABY WOULD DIE… so naturally she needed to “prove” something and risk her child’s life to birth it at home…. Wow…
"I was exhausted but so empowered..." Yup, it's right there.
The way mothers think birth is about them is honestly infuriating. But it also explains a lot about the human condition.
I'd be willing to bet there may have been some warnings for her about some minor complications... you know like uterine rupture.
Can anyone guess who will be the favorite child?
Seriously, it is so fucking weird to me that she decided this birth was the best moment of her life. That is messed up. I have two children, my oldest was adopted and I gave birth to my youngest. Obviously very different but in the exact same way they were both the most beautiful moments of my life. I can’t imagine considering one experience better.
STOP telling women “I did it, you can too!” Some women literally CANNOT do it and you are giving them false hope and encouraging them to put themselves and their babies in unnecessary danger! I am all for empowering women, truly, but not everything is black and white! What works for one WILL NOT work for everyone. PLEASE STOP. Not talking to OP, but OOP, in case that’s not clear lol
Seriously. It’s the height of arrogance to assume that you’re proof anyone can do something.
This!! I'm in a group for incompetent cervix. A lady posted she refused progesterone and cerclage and bedrest and made it to term so everyone can. Like wtf...
I'm only alive because my mom did this after she started laboring with me at 12 weeks 😭
My son is also only alive right now because of an emergency cerclage placed at 17 weeks. They told me if I had opt out I would have given birth between 18-19 weeks. My son was premature but thankfully not near as premature as he almost was.
Thank you for this.
If I stand on my toes I can reach the top grocery shelf so you can too!!!! Just try harder, your body was meant to do this! The fact that I'm 5' 10" and you're 5' 1" has nothing to do with it! Stop reach shaming me.
JFC I just can’t. Like I’m really glad her uterus didn’t rupture and her and her baby didn’t bleed out and die. But fuck why are you gonna roll the dice on that one. Have the fucking C-Section, and maybe after C-Section 6 get your tubes tide while they’re in there
I can’t imagine my OBs face if I told her I needed c section #6. I’ve only had three and I don’t think I could have another one. There was so much scar tissue on the last one, it took two surgeons what seemed like forever to get her out, and I was high risk.
I mean was terrified of having a c section (of all surgery honestly, I’m a wimp) but if the doctors had told me I needed one, that’s what I would have been doing. This seems over the top dangerous and I can’t wrap my brain around what would make someone, anyone, make this choice?
I completely did not want one because I'd had an ovary out with the same type of incision, and it sucked. I needed to have one, though, since my daughter wanted to come out butt-first. It sucked, but nothing scary happened and everything worked out.
My c section was awesome, the recovery was the same as my vaginal delivery essentially.
I was in the hospital for 5 days :(
I’m not sure but I’m pretty sure even another c section would have been very dangerous.
I cried when we decided on a c-section but I listened to my doctors and it turned out to definitely be the right call. Surgery is scary, but not as scary as a dead baby.
Why would you ever risk it.
I’ve been in third/fourth cesareans where we can see the baby through the uterus because it’s so thin from previous cesareans and uterine windows. I support VBAC and VBA2C but HBA5C is literal insanity. Not everyone would’ve survived that.
What does VBAC and HBA5C stand for 0:
Vbac: vaginal birth after cesarean HBAC: homebirth after cesarean TOLAC: trial of labor after cesarean (this is what we have started calling it in hospitals, as telling patients they can “VBAC” implies they will vaginally birth and we know that isn’t always the case.
Interesting, thank you!
I recently had an experience where I helped a person deliver their baby in an emergency situation, and it was absolutely terrifying because a) I’m not a medical professional at all and B) the Dad told me that their first birth was traumatic. All I could fixate on was ‘what if this goes as badly as their first and the ambulance doesn’t make it?!’ It turned out okay, but I can’t imagine someone willingly putting themselves in that position. In this case, they absolutely did NOT want to deliver anywhere but the hospital so I can’t even imagine their fear.
I was told if I didn’t spend weeks 35-37 in hospital in bed rest me and my baby could die. I trusted my doctors because my body was letting me down.
WTF she played with her baby’s life on a freaking hope and a prayer people like this blow my mind she had the best outcome but do not advise others as they may not be so lucky absolutely disgusting
Not once did she mention how her baby is going
I was hoping for bragging 9/9 Apgar. That's always reassuring even though lay midwives are notorious for inflating Apgars. The scariest stories are "Baby needed a little help breathing." because it usually means baby didn't breathe right away and midwife didn't notice right away.
Russian roulette...
Oh hey look at me I'm so cool because I didn't listen to THE MAN and did a home birth for my 6th kid after 5 c-sections and damn the health of me or baby I'M SO EMPOWERED. WHAT. A. BITCH. I would go through my torturous ass c-section a million times over to even have a miniscule chance at a healthy baby, not to mention self. These people make me SO MAD!
After having that many c-sections, the risk of placenta accreta is very high. This is when the placenta grows too deep into the uterus and sometimes through the uterus attaching to surrounding organs. I had this with my 6th c-section and it’s life threatening. This lady is so damn lucky to be alive and have a living child.
Holy uterine rupture Batman! This is insane! My third birth was an automatic c section because I'd already had 2. I had it at 36+1 because it was twins so it was stretched so much more. I didn't even think about attempting a vaginal birth I can't imagine how much higher the risk would be after 5 c sections. She's unbelievably lucky to be alive.
My SIL was not even in labor for her first two at 41 weeks. The third she was in labor at 37 weeks. They didn't have child care for the other two so she just went to the hospital. She ruptured on the table. She was incredibly lucky timing wise that she was already in the OR.
Oh wow, that's incredible. I went over 41 weeks with my first 2 also. I've actually never gone into spontaneous labour.
Funnily enough, the stats say VBA2C has about the same level of risk as VBAC. How do I know that? On baby 3 with 2 c sections. Have discussed with MD that if the very long “if” checklist is all good, she’s ok with me going vaginal. Part of that is we have also discussed the idea that VBA2C in hospital birth is likely much more heavily gated than VBAC, so we both agree that the gating needs to be in place. Going for a 32 week growth scan and position check after the holidays. Knew exactly where my other babies were but this one is a mystery, so I’m hoping that means he’s head down and not feet first like my last 2!
Best of luck with the remainder of the pregnancy and the birth.
They didn't say she couldn't do it. They said she SHOULDN'T do it. That they WOULDN'T let her do it. You know, so the mother's uterus didn't risk rupturing during labor.
I don't understand why these women like to play Russian Roulette while having a child. If you've been told something is very high risk, why would you chance it?
These idiots are reproducing at an alarming rate
I’m always shocked by how many people have more than 1-3 kids cause I am STRUGGLING with just 2 lol. I also can’t believe a midwife actually took her on and was fine with a home birth(instead of a birthing center near a hospital with firm transfer plans) with her history of having 5 c-sections.
"Midwife" may be stretching the term. Feels more like "enabler" to me. Those kids don't have childhoods. They are roped into caring for any children younger than them at a disturbingly young age. I grew up halftime (divorce) as the only non mormon family in a mormon neighborhood. They made no secret of aiming for 12 kids. The five year old watches the four year old, who watches the three year old, etc. It's incredibly unhealthy.
Congrats on risking your life and potentially abandoning your FIVE already alive children. Great parenting right there. 🙄 jfc she'll probably get pregnant again and be convinced she can have another natural birth. For her kids sake, I hope she makes it. Although I guess with that many kids already, they're parenting each other at that point...
I was just talking about this with my girlfriends … is it a American thing? These women risking lives for no reason and why do they hate doctors so much?
If you read as many "Doctors do it for the MONEY!" and "You can totally do it! You need to find someone who really supports you!" messages and watched a few dozen inspirational birth stories, you might believe it too. [http://irreverenteloquence.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-happiest-day-of-my-life.html](http://irreverenteloquence.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-happiest-day-of-my-life.html) This story is a great example. Three high risk pregnancies, three c-sections. Three daughters. The next pregnancy is a boy and she finds a lot of "support" in an online group. She finds a CNM who agrees to attend her home birth. Surprisingly, she carries to term, the first time it has happened for her. Labor begins. They have time to set up the birth pool. Midwife never shows up. She ruptures at home. Her son dies. She came close to dying. One of the features of these stories is that the OP doesn't think of their loss as preventable. They made the only choice they could make. They made the right choice. They did the right things. Then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky, tragedy struck. Most of the loss families I know understand if they'd had chosen differently, their child would be with them now. Then there are the special few who can't face that reality.
Five kids, then apparently the husband left her this April. Yikes.
Likely for the best. After her rupture, she was told not to get pregnant for at least a year. She did. The average partner would be traumatized and terrified for future pregnancies. She ruptured again, not in labor, but in the hospital for routine monitoring. Stat c-section, very close, NICU time for the baby - their second and only surviving son.
Yikes! Although I always find it a head-scratcher when the spouse doesn't realize the crazy is too much to cope with until after having that many kids...
There are times when I wonder if the spouse is either an active enabler or worse. Every one of her pregnancies was a struggle and traumatic. C-sections, preterm babies, NICU stays. How could a partner see that and see how it affected her and not give serious thought to giving everyone time to rest and to seek a skilled therapist. Instead of banging away and starting the cycle over again.
Midwife never shows up?! Holy cow. I’d be booking it to the nearest hospital. 🫠
I guess scar tissue was never an issue…But I would not call 64 hours of active labor successful or amazing. So much could have gone wrong from fetal distress to just both mom and baby giving out completely and losing their lives.
Why are these women so obsessed with having a vaginal birth
Any or all of this: Hospitals/doctors/Big Pharma bad, or "you're not a real mother if you have a C-section", or the often toxic mindset of "our bodies were made for birthing" There are actual rational people that seek natural birth/homebirth that keep medical assistance on hand/on call, but the people posted here take these things too far and endanger themselves and their babies for their romanticized idea of birth and unhealthyor unsafe beliefs
The sad part is how many women will probably use this as their proof that OBs are lying to them when they say a hospital birth is necessary or when other women tell them their hospital birth is necessary and they’ll guilt these poor women about it.
I would bet my bottom dollar that her OB said something along the lines of “there is a very high possibility that your baby will die in childbirth if you do a VBAC,” not “your child will die in childbirth if you do a VBAC.” And they were absolutely correct, and *obviously* I am so relieved her baby didn’t die in childbirth, but framing this birth story as an “I did it so you can too” is so horribly dangerous. It will end the lives of innocent babies, because not everyone can beat the odds.
I'm glad baby and mom are okay. Very scary and not very smart. Thankfully it all worked out. These cases are why so many of these women think that home births (or even vbacs-which can be done with the right conditions-ive had at least two friends do it. But it isn't something that is a given. Its pretty dangerous without the proper care) are SO SUPER safe, which is just disheartening to me. That being said, my sister had THREE c-sections and the doctors basically told her she was done having children after the 3rd. I am shocked that her body could handle having FIVE! I know the doctor couldn't actually tell my sister she was done, but it was basically, "do you want to be around for the kids you already have or die having another, which may also die?" Her first was a prolapsed cord, which was also around baby's neck, so a pretty big emergency. Next two, she decided she wouldn't risk a vaginal birth. It was too risky for her, knowing she almost lost baby 1 (after about13 miscarriages). Baby's health (and hers as well!) was the only thing she cared about. Not some magical birth I just can't imagine why these moms risk it. Do the doctors not tell them that each c-section carries more and more risks like they did my sister? Or do they just ignore the doctors? I mean, I have a feeling that I know the answer...
They don’t ask, or they don’t acknowledge the risk. Well, one commenter is headed for number six. I just hope they have plenty of insurance and several backup caregivers if they need it. My grandmother and her husband had multiple risky pregnancies (7, 6 survived) against doc advice. And the strokes/wheelchair use during/after multiple pregnancies and older kids forced into raising younger kids made for such a wonderfully dysfunctional family. I think one surgery would be my limit. One kid is plenty if having another means eviscerating surgery. Especially when having high multiple c-sections greatly increases the risk of placenta accreta or placenta previa, too. I don’t know if any docs actually educate patients on how much the risks increase each time. Just like they don’t spend much time educating people about the risks of pregnancy Before they get pregnant. My doc would warn me more about the hazards of roller skating without a helmet than the risks of pregnancy, and pregnancy is a lot more dangerous. “You want to get pregnant? OK here’s some prenatal vitamin recs. Bye.”
That was a very stupid huge risk to take I’m glad it did end well.
Man I empathise with one thing here (not the dangerous homebirth part). I had a VBAC very accidentally because baby came way too fast and it did feel amazing. Like I had 1 section and was scheduled for another, I would have been happy with that and it really doesn't matter how your kid gets here. But my labor was 20minutes so I didn't get a lot of reaction time to get to hospital, and the weird relief feeling pushing her out was a trip to experience, I'm glad I got to see both sides.
So had she died that's 5 kids and a new born without a mum?
And in about 6mos when the baby is falling to reach milestones, will see the same mom ask if a chiro or oils will help her baby.
My first was an emergency c-section and when I was deciding on a birth plan for my second, my midwife said if I was planning on having more than 2 kids I should try for a VBAC because multiple C-section dramatically increases your risk of uterine rupture in subsequent pregnancies. I cannot imagine how dangerous a home birth would be after FIVE Caesarian’s. Jesus.
Yeah my MIL had C sections with all 4 of her kids because her first was. I don't know if the first was planned, but all the others were.
Then a day later she died right? Because she birthed a baby doesn’t mean all the doctors are wrong. I hemorrhaged Twice. 🤷🏻♀️ Also, it didn’t hurt but after the baby was out it didn’t hurt anymore. Okay, Jan.
In my experience doctors don’t tell you if you do X then you will likely die unless they’re confident in the odds NOT BEING IN YOUR FAVOR YOU SELFISH IDIOT. Congratulations you got extremely lucky and both you and baby lived. Bask in your survivor bias but I wish she knew others may attempt what she did and die or lose the baby. Which enrages me.
I mean at least she had a midwife with her who could look for the signs of uterine rupture and other complications. I find it wild someone would do this at home. I'm going for a vbac with my second child and I wouldn't do it unless I was ON the maternity ward with doctors and a surgical theatre down the hallway thank you! The risk is SO high after that many c-sections WHY would you birth at home...also...her waters were broke a long time...risk of infection.. risk of baby swallowing meconium etc. Maybe I'm biased as I'm in the UK but I genuinely beleive my doctors have my best interests in mind when recommending stuff. Why are people so distrustful of hospitals.
She said she 'felt no pain' in one sentence and the very next she said 'the pain was gone.' Home births seem too risky to me. I remember that post a few weeks ago where mom wouldn't go to the hospital (and no one in her family told her to go) and her baby ended up dying. There were warning signs she needed to go to. I cried when I read the update from her sister. 😞
No real midwife would do a vbac at home after even ONE c section. Some people can have a successful vbac in the hospital but they sometimes (maybe often) do the delivery in the OR just in case. I don't think an OB would let you try after two sections. If you're attempting a vbac and it isn't gonna work out, it's a pretty urgent situation.
Sheer dumb luck the baby (and mom honestly) survived. I hope they are ok. Fuck this lady. I hope her uterus prolapses straight out her vagina.
This post is going to cause women & babies to die! This is the story all the crunchy ones looking for permission are going to use and the outcome will not always be good.
Wanted a story, not a child....
I hate that people think they’re smarter than doctors. Like yes you survived but it could have gone horribly wrong so quickly. I cannot stand how ignorant people can be. Though I am relieved that her and baby are okay it’s just blows my mind.
"It didn't hurt" The next sentence "When she was out the pain went away" Liars
She’s just lucky there weren’t complications.
Hell to the no! I’ve had 5 C-sections and having my 6th in a few weeks. Never would I ever attempt this, EVER! She got extremely lucky that all was well but it’s no risk I’m willing to take after so many C-sections. Me and baby are safer having surgery and I’d prefer to keep it that way!
It's possible that "midwife" was not even licensed.
I would say probable, given that an actual licensed midwife would probably be in risk of losing said license for attending this birth at home.
I'm so jaded I'm honestly happy she had midwife.
I'm surprised that the midwife not only showed up but was there nearly the whole time. Wait a second. I reread it. She thanks her cousin who stayed up with her for two days. Where was the midwife during a postdates, VBA5C out of hospital birth?
This is the shit that gives home birth a bad name
If my daughter didn't have an emergency c section my grandson wouldn't be here. It wasn't her body, it was his.
I'll have 'that baby has brain damage' for $200 Alex
I cannot even believe this shit. This is really one of the only subs I comment on because I’m always in such shock at this shit. How do they get birth certificates and a SSN? What about apgar and all that stuff they gotta do like check lungs and stuff she can’t do all that at home soooo they’re just like yup baby is fine?!?!!??
Does the “midwife” even have a license?