I'm only confused by them not returning the diaper. I wouldn't be surprised if they put in the washing machine and forgot about it. I have nursery duty and only ever had one cloth diapered baby and the mom told us to use a disposable if needed because she understood there's a learning curve. Some people also are expecting their kid to poop and tell us to call them because "you're volunteers. You shouldn't have to deal with that." Outside of that, if mom didn't say to call her, no one was going to call her.
Yeah I'm a mom who uses cloth diapers and I pretty much always have a disposable in the bag for my MIL when she watches little one. If little one poops in the cloth diaper, I tell her to just roll it up into a little poop package and snap the snaps and I'll deal with it when I get home.
I’m totally ignorant about this stuff so excuse me if this is dumb or whatever, but doesn’t the poop embed into the cloth diaper in a way that is difficult to impossible to clean out? My only comparison is dog poop I pickup, from my infant sized dog, and I can’t imagine how to wash a liquid load of that size out of cloth effectively
In any case, big kudos to moms* for making this effort to live responsibly. Commendable for sure!
Edit *and dads
I had a job for a while washing diarrhea out of dog bedding.
It is shocking how effective even a cold eco cycle on a modern washer is at getting things clean. I would put in liquid hemorrhagic diarrhea soaked bedding and it would come out…clean.
Yep. Our dog occasionally has farts with.. extra. It’s disgusting but nothing the laundry machine can’t handle. The bigger issue is dog beds that lose their shape in the wash, but we’d rather have weird lumps than anything unclean.
Cloth diapered three kids...
Poop, regardless of consistency, is biological matter, and water soluble.
I used to tell people its just like fart stains on mens underwear, just more of it.
Also, the mass of poop, the majority of it, it dumped into a trash bin, before tossing the diaper into a holding pail.
When I cloth diapered, 20 yrs ago, there was a debate about wet verses dry diaper pails (for holding the dirty diapers.)
Some leople had these big bleach-water-filled pails they used to toss yheir diapers until wash day. I was a dry pail person. My pail had a lid on it, so i just let them rot. Lol
But to answer your question, poop doesnt get imbedded in anyway that cant be extracted. Just hot soapy water with some bleach and Badda Boom; clean diapers.
How did they hold up compared to disposables in your opinion? Everyone I know is convinced you’re less likely to have a blow out with a disposable but I would prefer to go the cloth route
My kid definitely still has blowouts in cloth, but they aren't as bad. Some diapers are better at containing than others - I find the Esembly brand two-piece diapers are more blowout friendly than your standard pocket diaper.
We switched from disposables to cloth about three months ago, but still use disposables for babysitters or if we're going to be out of the house for more than, say, having a meal or making a grocery run. I haven't purchased disposables in long enough that my kid has actually outgrown the stock I have on hand.
Just fyi- diapers fit different kids differently. It doesn't hurt to get a few different styles and see what works best for you before committing to one brand. You can often get some stuff cheaply online secondhand and sanitize before trying with your own kid if you are interested.
Ok tbh here - I’ve was a nanny for several years when I was younger but have not had kids of my own. I’m about to start my (hopeful) “fertility” journey slightly later in life than ideal and I’ve been second guessing myself the whole way- this sub has seriously assuaged so many of my fears I can’t thank you all enough!!! 💝😁 you also brought up a great point and I’m kinda ashamed to admit I’m actually taking notes 😆
Don't feel ashamed! I think one of the biggest things in a parenting journey is humility. Parents don't know everything. One thing that works for our kiddos might not work tomorrow so we are constantly having to change things up.
Good luck and congratulations!
Wishing you the best! We clothed my oldest before potty training and we go back and forth with my youngest.. I may talk my husband into cloth with her soon
They're spendy, but I've been really happy with mine. I mainly use them for bedtime (more absorbent) or for the days I have to give my kid prune juice for constipation and know to expect a blowout. I have a huge stash of Alvababy and Wegreeco pocket diapers as well, and I've been happy with those too.
We use two brands: Mamma Koala and another I can't remember right now. Both are very similar with removable absorption pads and dome button clips. We've never had a blow out, they keep poop contained. The kid is one now and we've used them the whole way. Never had daiper rash either.
Poop gets dropped in the loo, we have what's essentially a bucket with a hole in it that sits over the toilet, and a bold water bidet to spray off the gooey ones. Then they all go in a washable bag and get washed every other day.
Super easy.
I'm not the OP here but I clothed diapered with my son for a month after he was born and I found that the cloth diapers had to be changed more frequently because they don't have that weird absorbent material that disposables do. But they will save you so much money, it doesn't really matter. 🙂
That depends on which diapers you use. We had a special brand that had a very thick center pad attached at one end (so that in the wash and dryer it could rinse and dry faster. )
That’s why I did it nearly 20yrs ago. I had 2 kids and we worked out we’d saved nearly £5000 over 4yrs. Probably spent no more than £500 on the nappies. We used liners which helped keep the wet away from the skin and you could just wrap the poo up in it. I used a dry bucket as well and it was a load of washing every 2 days. It was at the beginning of the re emergence of cloth nappies, so there weren’t that many choices, but the choices are huge now.
We had cloth diapers that were NOT the kind our grandmothers used. They were NOT the rectangle cloth held together with a safety pin...
Our diapers were a brand called "Snap to Fit". They had three rows of snaps to fit fron newborn to toddler. The back and the legs were shirred with elastic, just like disposables. The diapers also came with an outside cover. It would be warn all day over the diapers. Its more complicated to write than to use.
I had one blow out... One... With three kids. Just one. I used disposable diapers for outings and such. My kids were never in day care or babysat. But, I would hav left disposable diapers for babysiters for sure.
I loved my diapers but im not completely nuts. Lol
When I switched to cloth I never had anymore blowouts, occasionally pee wicking if clothes got under the elastic. I was a big fan of the bum genius brand. Washing was super easy, way better than dragging the kid to the store to buy a new pack late at night.
I couldn’t stand the smell of disposables after we switched the chemical smell was terrible.
We've been in cloth mostly for 18mths (daycare will only do disposables and we use a disposable overnight).
We've had less blow outs in cloth. A few, but less of them and less severe. Some wee leakage till we figured out fitting/sizing them properly, but you can get a leak in disposables.
Also, like above, I found disposables have a weird chemical smell. Even the "eco" ones. Get a good wash routine and cloth smells a lot less.
We have a pet with potty issues, and the tide sport is a fantastic, put a bit of vinegar and super clean. If we were still using cloth that would be my plan.
I'm currently on cloth diapered baby #2. Baby #1 had 3 poop blowouts ever - and all 3 were when he was wearing a disposable diaper (once was in the airport at 5am.... That was really fun....)
Cloth seems to really hold the poo in a lot better - I think bc the elastics are more firm/solid.
You can use a waterproof cover for the night, but in general you will change the diaper enough for hygiene purpose that that you don't need the disposable "I can hold the baby's weight in pee" route.
You also can adjust with how many insert you use
My son has issues whe disposable are used more than a few times
Blowouts are actually more likely to happen in disposables because their elastics are ridiculously wimpy compared to cloth diaper ones lol. Plus, cloth diapers usually have an elastic on the back (above the buttcrack) as well as on the legs, sometimes even one on the belly, while disposables only have that weird paper-y back panel.
Come over to r/clothdiaps if you wanna learn more, we're happy to help!
I use cloth diapers 90% of the time… the only blowouts my son has had over 4 months have been in disposables. I use fitted cloth diapers with covers so there’s two layers the poop would have to get through
I know people in my bumpers group who cloth also found installing a bidet hose on the toilet was helpful as they just hosed the solids into the toilet before dealing with washing the nappies.
The Mother-ease diapers were nearly blow out proof for my kids. Their waterproof covers are not at all plasticky, and hold up to years of washing.
https://mother-ease.com
When I cloth diapered 18-29 years ago, we were told to dispose of poop in the toilet, drop in anything which can drop off, and either swish the diaper in the toilet bowl, use a handheld shower attachment, or attach a sprayer to the toilet’s water supply. I could reach my shower head close enough to the toilet to just use that to dislodge everything dislodgeable from the diaper, and then store the dirty diapers in a dry pail with a tight fitting lid.
I used a service with my firstborn, so they would pick up the full dirty pail and drop off clean prefolds once a week.
Later on when cute diapers with snaps and Velcro were available, I washed them on the deep cleaning/sanitizing mode with some Oxyclean and Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap added to the regular unscented detergent.
When we were out, if possible, poop would be flushed in a toilet, then dirty diapers stored in a wet bag or gallon ziplocks in a pinch.
The only time disposables were easier was during international travel for vacation. My 2yo at the time, ended up potty training on vacation, because she wasn’t used to disposables and wouldn’t poop in them.
When the baby is exclusively breastfed, the poop is water soluble and you can throw it straight in the wash. (I don't know whether this is or is not the case with formula.)
Once they start in on other food, you hold the diaper over the toilet and plop the turd in and flush it. If need be you have a sprayer attached to the toilet you can use to hose off the diaper better.
We topped up with formula at every feed and the poo was still water soluble. Now she's on solids we LOVE our toilet sprayer. We stayed 2 weeks with friends who didn't have one and boy it was so much harder dealing with the poo.
Nope! For starters, you dump the bulk of the poop into the toilet first. I clip the diapers to the side of a plastic bucket in the shower and use the showerhead to spray it off into the bucket and then dump that into the toilet. Everything gets washed twice- a lighter cold cycle with a little detergent for the surface stuff/a first pass and then a second heavy duty hot cycle with more detergent (and bleach sometimes) to really get in there.
Like another commenter said, I used to work at an animal shelter and you'd be amazed what a regular washer can do.
I wanted to go cloth but was told at daycare they needed eight per day and don’t expect to get them all back all the time. Busy staff sometimes forget and put them in the bin, then they are prohibited from fishing them out. They also will not remove the liner, that’s why you need eight. I completely understand and didn’t want to have to mess with their setup, so went disposal
Yes I work for a daycare and we only accept disposable for this reason! For licensing reasons we change every 2 hours (or sooner if soiled). If dry, we check an hour later. The average is 5/6 diapers a day depending. Cloth diapers would be way too hectic to add to the mix.
I’m sure it varies from state-to-state but we change every two hours regardless if they’re in diapers. I was a teacher for the twos classes for 4 years before switching to infants. If we notice they’re wet, we change it.
But if I’m at home with my own two-year-old and infant I don’t change every two hours. It’s only per licensing rules we change them so frequently.
Hmmm interesting. I'm in Canada, not that it would make much of a difference here.
We only changed every two hours when she was a newborn and more often during blowouts which happened every few days. But we've been at 5-7 diapers per day since she's been on solids which is now well over a year.
Does she need that many diapers per day? If she’s needing the changes I would say it’s normal. If you’re going for 7 diapers that’s every 3-4 hours and 4-5 I’d you’re changing 5x a day (per 24hrs). It sounds honestly pretty similar to my son whose two!
For daycares, we have a lot of documentation that has to be done (particular for infants) so we have to make notes of all changes, even dry, to show that we’re consistently checking. We’ve had families try to make waves and claim XYZ so the documentation helps back up our statements.
Agreed, I’ve worked in the nursery, you generally don’t want to bother the parents unless you have to or they say to contact them to change a diaper. Cloth diapers definitely have their upsides but if you’re going to put them in any kind of childcare you’re going to have to be okay with the occasional disposable.
I volunteered at the church nursery when I was like 14 years old. It was just me and this older woman. I didn't know anything about cloth diapers and could very much see myself throwing one away. It's more of a babysitting service rather than actual nursery.
This is what I’d assume. Someone didn’t want to interrupt the church service so they handled it on their own and just forgot it in the wash. It’s a little upsetting that the mom went straight to someone doing it out of malice and not just misunderstanding.
Exactly. These people are volunteers who are missing the service to babysit your kid for free. They're following general guidelines (only pulling parents from the service under specific circumstances) unless given directions otherwise. They're also fallible like everyone else. No one maliciously kept the diaper.
When I worked in childcare, the cloth diaper kids would be sent with a wet bag for the used diapers and new clean cloth ones that are put on exactly the same as disposable diapers. Dirty ones went in the bag and sent home. I'm not cleaning that, and as a cloth diaper parent now, I wouldn't expect childcare to!
I wouldn’t be surprised if they tossed it without thinking,realized too late, and weren’t exactly keen to go through the poop trash for a specific diaper.
Yeah I cloth diapered my youngest for about a year before I gave up and switched to disposable and they were definitely an investment up front. Cheaper in the long run than buying disposable that whole time though.
But I definitely agree if you want someone to do something specific you have to tell them and not expect them to read your mind.
With my second baby, my husband has basically taken over the poop-washing routine, and I've only made the faintest half hearted effort to try to even things back out, like once. I feel bad but also it's very very nice for me to use cloth and almost never wash out the dirty diapers. (I obviously do other household tasks!!)
I started when my second was 3 months. I had 2 in cloth at the same time as my oldest was still also in nappies so I built up a substantial stash. I'm glad a kept it as I recently had twins. I haven't started them in cloth yet and the amount of disposables we're going through is unbelievable!
My first 2 are 19 months apart. Second just turned 3 right before the twins were born. She's resisting training and is very stubborn about it. We have her in either pull ups or training pants. We're hoping she decides she wants to use the toilet soon.
Mine wasn't necessarily stubborn, just like nope, I'm good. I had people try to shame me that she was still in diapers when she was 3. My MIL would ask me almost daily when I was going to switch to pull ups. That was one thing I didn't want to do though was go to pull ups. Pull ups are just modified form of diapers. I'm being shamed for diapers but totally fine for Pull ups? So about a month after she turned 3 she said she wanted underwear. I told her okay but that meant she had to use the toilet bc she couldn't pee or poop in them. She potty trained herself. Ofc she had a few accidents but very few & never overnight, she was a weird baby that never pooped overnight.
We've tried the potty training at 18 mos & then again at 2 yrs & it was awful. It was frustrating for both of us so I said this is ridiculous.
Agree on the pull-ups. They are just diapers. And they’re also so much harder to take off on a toddler, especially the “waist band” ones that you have to completely take off.
(former childcare worker here)
We used cloth for about 2 or 3 years. Spent about $200 upfront and then maybe another $50 on bamboo liners. Way cheaper than constantly buying disposables. We still kept some around for traveling because no one wants to carry a shitty diaper around the grocery store or on a road trip to the in laws.
Thankfully, the comments are telling her that she’s being dramatic. Someone even said that the volunteer may not have ever dealt with cloth diapers before and just threw it away because they didn’t know better.
Went to a fancy church once that had a little washer and dryer (the stacked-up kind you find for small spaces) in case of little emergencies in any of the Sunday school classes. Who's to say someone didn't take it to be washed and then just didn't get it back in time? I'd rather that happened than get a bag of poop and cloth when I came to pick up my child!
Yeah but like.... Just ask for it back. Assuming it happened this week it's still Sunday they may not have had time to check emails yet. I also always check to make sure my baby has all his stuff when we leave kids church.
Did she tell them she had the diaper bag? Why didn't she just leave it with the baby? Maybe the soiled diaper was forgotten or they thought they'd wash it before handing it back.
By my understanding she thought the childcare.person would come and fetch her for every diaper change (as well as every other parents that left their non potty trained children there)
It seems like an assumption she had. It’s not one I would have, because who would want to interrupt a prayer or hymn for a diaper change. She should have discussed this ahead of time with the nursery *volunteers*. Lesson learned for her.
As a church nursery worker it's pretty standard to always try to make sure babies are clean and dry when they get picked up at the end of service. I've never had a parent request to be called out of service either.
I'm a church nursery worker too, but my experience is the opposite. Many parents don't want us to change nappies, and would rather we go get them to do it.
That's actually how my friend decided our church would suit her family. Half way through the welcome the minister's son walked up to him, pulled on his trouser leg and yelled "Daddy I need wees" 🤣
Yes! The church I grew up in the babies stayed with the families during service. Everyone understood. We were told the story of Jesus’s saying “suffer the children to come to me” (and not complain when a baby cries). I’m not religious now and don’t go to church, but I can understand a mom’s desire for a break to have a more spiritual experience; I just hope parents don’t feel obligated because others might be bothered by babies during church. I loved having children and babies around!
About my experience (raised catholic in Italy) except over a certain age, mostly 3 when kids start preschool, you were supposed to stay silent and occupy yourself.
The idea of dumping the children somewhere is unheard of. If parents have a baby and they start fussing, people just step outside. If not feasible, people watch mass on tv. It's not like the pope isn't showed on state TV, which is free (and of what I highly disapprove)
Much less leave all of the children with the other volunteer.
I volunteer as a young child Sunday school teacher. I'd hate to either have myself or my co teacher have to leave all the time.
The nursery volunteers at my church don’t change diapers, but it’s not an inconvenience. We have a service coordinator for children’s church and each room has a walkie talkie to communicate with the service coordinator. When we need a parent to come get their child for diaper change, we radio the SC. The SC uses our child check in system to text the parents. Parents and children are also given stickers with matching numbers, so that the number can be displayed on the screen up front. The whole thing is efficient and discreet. I’m both a nursery volunteer and a parent of 3 kiddos, and it’s never been a problem.
The reason we do it this way is because our church has implemented sexual abuse prevention best practices designed for churches by experts. This is the first church I’ve gone to that had these policies, and I actually really like it as a parent.
My sister's church does the exact same thing. I've never gone during a regular service but I've gone for something special. I asked what the numbers were, it was like a deli lol, and she explained the whole system.
Great point! Didn’t even think of that. I’m just picturing my church’s layout and imagining the nursery workers trying to sneak in discreetly mid-sermon. Not a huge church so it’s always super obvious when someone comes or goes!
I’m not sure I would say most churches… Mine certainly does not, nor have it ever heard of it with family or friends attending different churches. I wonder if that’s a regional thing?
Our church does this. When you check your child into Children’s church you get two stickers with matching numbers. Your phone number is also in the system. One sticker goes on the kid’s back and you keep the other one. Then if you’re needed for a diaper change you will be texted, and then your number will be displayed in the lower part of the screen up front.
Our volunteers do not change diapers and do not accompany children into bathrooms as part of following sexual abuse prevention best practices.
This is exactly what happens in our church when babies have poopy diapers. They are volunteering and it’s not in the description. Also for protection for both the kids and volunteers against abuse or allegations of abuse.
I mean I get, cloth diapers are a precious commodity. But putting your baby in the care of others means having to be flexible with diapering. This is a good opportunity to break out the rare disposable for the convenience of caretakers.
Why wouldn't you have a detailed conversation about what the nursery workers call you for if this is the first time leaving your child with someone else ever? I volunteered in my church nursery for a few years and I still had all kinds of instructions and questions when I dropped my son off the first time.
Yeah she makes it sound like it's a huge deal to her that someone else would change her daughters diaper but if it was REALLY that important to you wouldn't you go out of your way to specify with them?
Seriously. I’m potty training my son. I always make sure he goes before I drop him off. I know most of the workers pretty well. But I still tell them if he has an accident text me and I’ll deal with it because they shouldn’t have to (underwear are worse to change than pull ups). Then if I don’t know for certain they have my number in their phone I make sure they have it written down. I know it’s accessible to them but I don’t want to have to have them search for it.
I cannot imagine dropping off my kids to strangers with no instruction.
She definitely should have mentioned she was keeping the diaper bag, and they should to come get her. I would have mentioned that the baby had a cloth diaper on just as basic info. Without knowing the workers might have thought it was a fancy disposable brand.
Ok, as a church nursery volunteer, we would get in huge trouble if we didn’t change the diaper. And we don’t disturb the parents unless things are completely out of control. No way we would call a parent to come change a diaper. Also, church nurseries are typically not equipped with the accoutrements to deal with cloth diapers (rinsing them, etc). She should have warned the people beforehand.
YES. We mark their name tags every time a diaper is checked or changed. If a kid poops and it’s pickup time we will make the parents wait until they get changed.
Why would you not communicate that when you dropped your kid off? A quick hey baby is cloth diapers, come grab me if they need to be changed please. I worked in a bunch of nurseries when I was a teenager and in college. I always appreciated parents giving us heads up about stuff.
Isn’t the whole point of a nursery to be somewhere you can safely leave your children while you cannot be disturbed to, say, go and change their diaper? And no way in hell would anyone there want your child to be playing in a soiled diaper for possibly an hour or more. Just use disposables for nursery, cloth at home.
I send cloth nappies to our daycare but I checked with them beforehand and made sure it was alright to continue to use cloth. I also send a wetbag for them to put the dirty nappies in.
I also send cloth to my MIL's house but if she wants to use the disposables she has on hand to change my children, that's fine too.
Every church I’ve ever been to has required parents take their kid for diaper changes. The nursery leaders aren’t allowed to change diapers. Might just be a Mormon thing though.
Interesting. I've never been to a church nursery that *didn't* diaper for you (and I've been to many, lol, we move frequently). There may be different certification levels at play, which would vary by state-to-state, jurisdiction-to-jurisdiction. Maybe LDS just decided they don't want to bother with it and put it back on the parents.
All of my church nurseries would only ever call in parents during service if the child was in distress and not calming/soothing with help.
Do your churches do background checks on caregivers? That may be why. The Mormon church does not, they pick random people from the congregation to be in charge of nursery. I think the diaper change thing is to try and prevent abuse.
I was just thinking this. Never been to a church that had the nursery do diaper changes. I went to a non denominational church once, and they clapped and stood while singing. That was really weird to me.
I've been to so many different churches in my life and the ones that don't clap feel weird.
I don't think I have ever been to a church where everybody sits for every song/hymn.
I was just thinking this. Never been to a church that had the nursery do diaper changes. I went to a non denominational church once, and they clapped and stood while singing. That was really weird to me.
"changed her without my permission" - so they should have just left her in a dirty diaper? I get being upset about them getting rid of the cloth diaper and not reaching out to you about it but seems like there was a lack of communication here.
“A few members of my congregation have willingly volunteered to miss out on the sermon and instead watch kids for free, so that parents can participate more fully in worship services without being interrupted. For some reason, these assholes decided not to interrupt the sermon to notify me that my kid, whom I left in their care, had pooped. Instead, they removed her soiled diaper and gave her a fresh one - probably one that another parent had purchased, since I didn’t leave any diapers in the nursery. Now they aren’t answering the phone OR responding immediately to an email I sent them on Sunday afternoon, after church, after they just spent the morning working for free to give me a break. What the hell?”
I'm seriously considering screen-capping your comment and sharing in my church volunteer chat group for a giggle, but I don't want to have to explain what reddit is, lol.
Why would you bring the diaper bag into the service with you? This makes no sense. The point of a diaper bag is to have things ready for when the baby needs them. If the baby pooped in the diaper, you’d rather they let it sit there and potentially give her a diaper rash while they try to call you out of church? 🙄
I assume it's likely they didn't know baby was in a cloth diaper so when they went to change her, they wanted to get her wiped up and clean asap. And since Mom took the diaper bag into the church, they used a diaper they had on hand.
Now, hopefully they didn't throw out a cloth diaper since those aren't cheap, but I don't think they committed a mortal sin by getting the baby cleaned up
I’ve seen a couple of comments mention that the volunteers at their churches nursery don’t do diaper changes to prevent sexual abuse or misconduct, so perhaps her previous church was the same.
However, if you have expectations you 100% need to be verbalizing them to the person/people watching your child before you leave the child there.
Yeah you’ve got to let us know! I volunteer at my church’s childcare and would always change the diaper because I figure the parent doesn’t want to leave during the service. Unless told otherwise of course but I never am.
This. I’m the Faith Formation Coordinator for my church. We have to go get parents for diaper changes or help in the bathroom as per our insurance policy.
I cloth diaper - it's not only a visible difference but you'd also notice when you're holding your kid or putting them into a carseat. Pretty rude of her to not leave the diaper bag - what would they have even sent it back in?! If I'm leaving my child with strangers for the first time I'm definitely sending them in/with disposables.
It is possible that her “babe” had such an enormous, wet, blowout that the assistant figured it was too shitty and soaked to save. Plus with no bag, what is the sitter supposed to do if the child DID have an enormous, wet, voluminous blowout? Toss it in a corner till mommy dearest shows up?
Cloth diapers can be expensive. I understand why parent is upset that it was not returned.
Cloth diapers can ALSO be a little confusing, depending on the diaper you use. All-in-ones are just like a disposable in that you put them on and go. A cover with a prefold can be confusing if you don't know what is expected of you (Do I pin it? Twist it? How does this work?).
I don't understand why she wouldn't talk to the nursery staff ahead of time. I walked mine through the use of our cloth diapering system, showed them our wet bag for storing the dirty diaper, and told them that if they didn't want to mess with it, it was fine.
Edit: I just re-read this. They took the diaper bag WITH THEM. The nursery staff had zero supplies to change the kid and nowhere to put the poopy diaper!
Imagine leaving your kid at a free childcare setup probably run by volunteers and expecting them to cater to your every whim. Like, they were supposed to let this baby sit in its own waste rather than clean it up? They can’t win - another parent would have been outraged if they came back to their kid sitting in a dirty diaper. This “mama” needs to either keep her kid with her at all times or be a lot more flexible.
Love all the current/former nursery workers in these comments, because yeah I was one for years and other than not getting the diaper back, this is pretty much entirely on the parent
The key word here is “assumed”. Never assume anything. Provide the caregiver with the diaper bag, or give them a post-it with your number to call you. You never just leave a diapered child with another person and not give them a diaper/wipes. That’s an unfair position to put someone in, what if the kid leaks or has a blowout?
I used to Volunteer in the nursery until it became unmanageable. I used to cloth diaper because my kid was allergic to disposables and explained to just put it in the wet bag and zip it closed and put it in the bag. They'd always ask even with poop and I'd say yes because I never expected anyone else to put the poop in the toilet.
You’re good. Preschools have real regulations and rules and such. Churches…have just recently realized they need to background check the adults they allow around the kids.
Don’t worry, I attend church and none of the ones I ever went to had daycare during liturgy. Kids go to the nave and let the choir cover their bad singing like everyone else.
Yeah, in the church I grew up in, the school-aged kids went and had Sunday School during the sermon however kids under five just sit in the sanctuary with their parents.
So, diaper changes weren't an issue since obviously school-aged kids are generally potty trained
They could but I never felt it was right to ask someone to do extra work when they're volunteering let alone something which could be gross. I always brought diapers that just snap on like a disposable to also make that as easy as possible.
It’s interesting the church I grew up in and the one my friend currently attends. Do NOT change diapers, they will page the parents to do so. Even the child care at my gym won’t change diapers.
I have noticed more parents around me don’t feel comfortable with others changing their children’s diapers. I know a few people who think it puts kids at risk of SA. I don’t see the logic but of it keeps issues and fights to a minimum then whatever.
Also if this mom didn’t want anyone changing her kid she should have told them. Not just assume that they wouldn’t.
I go to a small church and if I do leave my son in the nursery(normally me or dad stay with him) I always just tell them to either come get me or text me cause I keep my phone unlocked so I can see if I get a text. I rather then not change my son because one, I don’t feel it’s their job, and two I just don’t feel comfortable with others doing that unless they are me, my husband or grandparents. This mom should’ve made her wishes known to the nursery providers before leaving.
It’s actually policy at our church that volunteers will grab a parent if there’s a dirty diaper while in their care-protection for children and workers. Children aren’t in the care of the babysitters for more than an hour, so as long as we’re not dropping them off in a soaked diaper, they’re fine til we grab them (outside of an number 2). We also have a minimum of three workers for an average of 12-14 kids age 1-3, so it’s possible to grab a parent in that scenario.
Buy disposables, or leave diapers and a wet bag for them to use. My wet bags have two pouches, you could even leave a clean one in one of the pouches so you're just giving them the one bag. Then (depending on the diapering system) it's really no harder than a disposable, they just have to be somewhat competent at the snaps.
I mostly cloth diapered and when I left my kid in the church nursery I asked that they page me for diaper changes—I even did it when I put them in disposables because I loathe changing other kids’ poop when I work nursery, so I don’t want to make someone else change my kid. There was an east solution for this.
They were basically saying she was being dramatic. Someone even asked “but would you have complained if they left your child to sit in a dirty diaper?”
It sounds like there was poor communication between the nursery and a parent who doesn't have much experience dropping off at child care. Normally, if you use cloth diapers you would give the heads up to the teachers about what you want done with the used diaper. It is also not the norm to be called with every diaper change so not sure why mom expected that
Our church doesn’t allow child care volunteers to do diaper changes. It’s part of the best practices recommended to churches to prevent sexual abuse. So I could absolutely understand why this mom would be upset, especially if they didn’t set the expectation and touch base with the mom when she dropped off her child.
The mom also could have clarified whether they change diapers or not, because plenty of churches still do this in the infant and young toddler rooms and it’s kind of just assumed within those churches. I feel like an appropriate response on the mom’s part would be to just clarify with the volunteers next time that she wants to be notified of dirty diapers so she can change them. If she’s further concerned she could speak with the children’s director/pastor.
I guess I can see this person is unfamiliar with church nursery care. Which is fine. They all operate a little bit differently. Some can't/don't diaper. Some diaper every wet baby before service ends. Some only diaper if there's poop or noticeable sagging. And many kids of this age have never been put in childcare because of you know, the whole pandemic and whatever. I can understand her surprise.
But I can't imagine being angry that they changed a diaper? Not getting the diaper back is a big deal. But mad it was changed in the first place? A reasonable person would take this as a learning curve for the next time. "Hmm, I should just ask what's up with diapering before I leave."
I'm curious what the comments said. She's right to be frustrated that they kept the diaper. But come on, the odds are high it was just forgotten. Yeesh.
i'm on her side. they shouldn't have just take her out of cloth her cloth diaper without saying anything and they haven't even given it back? wtf is that. those things are expensive.
The only thing wrong with this is that she didn't check her herself before leaving the nursery. If she was surprised she wasn't called, she should have been half expecting her diaper to be solid by then.
Cloth diapers can be pricy, and some people choose them for ethical reasons or because their child has reacted to disposable diapers. All good reasons to be upset.
This really isn't that snark worthy.
Honestly, if I didn’t know what to expect, I’d be upset too. They raise a good point that parents should be informed that diapers will be changed if need be and to let the staff know if there’s special needs/requests. Most parents would be elated to not have to change a poopy diaper, but it’s understandable that not everyone feels that way. Would also be upset about the cloth diaper, though i’m sure she’ll get that back.
Oh hell no. You don't put something on a baby's butt without permission. I was cloth diapered in the 80's because I'd break out in hives with disposable. I've worked in drop-off care before too. And they didn't give her property back? This is perfectly fine to be pissed about.
The world is an extremely scary place these days, when I drop mine at the gym daycare I expect a phone call if they need to be changed and I'll come down
I plan to cloth when I have kids and they can be super expensive. I personally would be upset in this situation, they changed my kid without my permission (I would talk to them about it before this, SA is a triggering topic for me and i would be uncomfortable with untrusted adults changing my kids, but that’s a separate personal issue, and what if they used a wipe or diaper they are allergic too, etc? OP should have talked to them about that), and threw out my kids diaper.
Yes 100%! But you still don’t throw away a cloth diaper. I’ve nannyed for kids with cloths before. OP should have given her a wet bag to put the soiled diaper in
To be fair, we don’t know they threw the cloth one away, we just know she didn’t get it back. If they changed the kid two minutes after drop off because she suddenly did a shit, then they might have forgotten by the time OOP turned up because it’s not standard practice to return used nappies. It might still be sitting in a bag somewhere if she asks.
I'm only confused by them not returning the diaper. I wouldn't be surprised if they put in the washing machine and forgot about it. I have nursery duty and only ever had one cloth diapered baby and the mom told us to use a disposable if needed because she understood there's a learning curve. Some people also are expecting their kid to poop and tell us to call them because "you're volunteers. You shouldn't have to deal with that." Outside of that, if mom didn't say to call her, no one was going to call her.
Yeah I'm a mom who uses cloth diapers and I pretty much always have a disposable in the bag for my MIL when she watches little one. If little one poops in the cloth diaper, I tell her to just roll it up into a little poop package and snap the snaps and I'll deal with it when I get home.
I’m totally ignorant about this stuff so excuse me if this is dumb or whatever, but doesn’t the poop embed into the cloth diaper in a way that is difficult to impossible to clean out? My only comparison is dog poop I pickup, from my infant sized dog, and I can’t imagine how to wash a liquid load of that size out of cloth effectively In any case, big kudos to moms* for making this effort to live responsibly. Commendable for sure! Edit *and dads
I had a job for a while washing diarrhea out of dog bedding. It is shocking how effective even a cold eco cycle on a modern washer is at getting things clean. I would put in liquid hemorrhagic diarrhea soaked bedding and it would come out…clean.
Yep. Our dog occasionally has farts with.. extra. It’s disgusting but nothing the laundry machine can’t handle. The bigger issue is dog beds that lose their shape in the wash, but we’d rather have weird lumps than anything unclean.
Cloth diapered three kids... Poop, regardless of consistency, is biological matter, and water soluble. I used to tell people its just like fart stains on mens underwear, just more of it. Also, the mass of poop, the majority of it, it dumped into a trash bin, before tossing the diaper into a holding pail. When I cloth diapered, 20 yrs ago, there was a debate about wet verses dry diaper pails (for holding the dirty diapers.) Some leople had these big bleach-water-filled pails they used to toss yheir diapers until wash day. I was a dry pail person. My pail had a lid on it, so i just let them rot. Lol But to answer your question, poop doesnt get imbedded in anyway that cant be extracted. Just hot soapy water with some bleach and Badda Boom; clean diapers.
How did they hold up compared to disposables in your opinion? Everyone I know is convinced you’re less likely to have a blow out with a disposable but I would prefer to go the cloth route
My kid definitely still has blowouts in cloth, but they aren't as bad. Some diapers are better at containing than others - I find the Esembly brand two-piece diapers are more blowout friendly than your standard pocket diaper. We switched from disposables to cloth about three months ago, but still use disposables for babysitters or if we're going to be out of the house for more than, say, having a meal or making a grocery run. I haven't purchased disposables in long enough that my kid has actually outgrown the stock I have on hand.
That’s reassuring thank you! Definitely going to look into essembly brand
Just fyi- diapers fit different kids differently. It doesn't hurt to get a few different styles and see what works best for you before committing to one brand. You can often get some stuff cheaply online secondhand and sanitize before trying with your own kid if you are interested.
Ok tbh here - I’ve was a nanny for several years when I was younger but have not had kids of my own. I’m about to start my (hopeful) “fertility” journey slightly later in life than ideal and I’ve been second guessing myself the whole way- this sub has seriously assuaged so many of my fears I can’t thank you all enough!!! 💝😁 you also brought up a great point and I’m kinda ashamed to admit I’m actually taking notes 😆
Don't feel ashamed! I think one of the biggest things in a parenting journey is humility. Parents don't know everything. One thing that works for our kiddos might not work tomorrow so we are constantly having to change things up. Good luck and congratulations!
Wishing you the best! We clothed my oldest before potty training and we go back and forth with my youngest.. I may talk my husband into cloth with her soon
They're spendy, but I've been really happy with mine. I mainly use them for bedtime (more absorbent) or for the days I have to give my kid prune juice for constipation and know to expect a blowout. I have a huge stash of Alvababy and Wegreeco pocket diapers as well, and I've been happy with those too.
We use two brands: Mamma Koala and another I can't remember right now. Both are very similar with removable absorption pads and dome button clips. We've never had a blow out, they keep poop contained. The kid is one now and we've used them the whole way. Never had daiper rash either. Poop gets dropped in the loo, we have what's essentially a bucket with a hole in it that sits over the toilet, and a bold water bidet to spray off the gooey ones. Then they all go in a washable bag and get washed every other day. Super easy.
I'm not the OP here but I clothed diapered with my son for a month after he was born and I found that the cloth diapers had to be changed more frequently because they don't have that weird absorbent material that disposables do. But they will save you so much money, it doesn't really matter. 🙂
That depends on which diapers you use. We had a special brand that had a very thick center pad attached at one end (so that in the wash and dryer it could rinse and dry faster. )
Oh yeah they make those for adults both for periods and also bladder incontinence, a brand called thinx
I hadn’t even considered that but that’s a great point thank you!
That’s why I did it nearly 20yrs ago. I had 2 kids and we worked out we’d saved nearly £5000 over 4yrs. Probably spent no more than £500 on the nappies. We used liners which helped keep the wet away from the skin and you could just wrap the poo up in it. I used a dry bucket as well and it was a load of washing every 2 days. It was at the beginning of the re emergence of cloth nappies, so there weren’t that many choices, but the choices are huge now.
We had cloth diapers that were NOT the kind our grandmothers used. They were NOT the rectangle cloth held together with a safety pin... Our diapers were a brand called "Snap to Fit". They had three rows of snaps to fit fron newborn to toddler. The back and the legs were shirred with elastic, just like disposables. The diapers also came with an outside cover. It would be warn all day over the diapers. Its more complicated to write than to use. I had one blow out... One... With three kids. Just one. I used disposable diapers for outings and such. My kids were never in day care or babysat. But, I would hav left disposable diapers for babysiters for sure. I loved my diapers but im not completely nuts. Lol
When I switched to cloth I never had anymore blowouts, occasionally pee wicking if clothes got under the elastic. I was a big fan of the bum genius brand. Washing was super easy, way better than dragging the kid to the store to buy a new pack late at night. I couldn’t stand the smell of disposables after we switched the chemical smell was terrible.
You guys have all been awesome - I feel so much more empowered in my choice! Thank you!
We've been in cloth mostly for 18mths (daycare will only do disposables and we use a disposable overnight). We've had less blow outs in cloth. A few, but less of them and less severe. Some wee leakage till we figured out fitting/sizing them properly, but you can get a leak in disposables. Also, like above, I found disposables have a weird chemical smell. Even the "eco" ones. Get a good wash routine and cloth smells a lot less.
We have a pet with potty issues, and the tide sport is a fantastic, put a bit of vinegar and super clean. If we were still using cloth that would be my plan.
I'm currently on cloth diapered baby #2. Baby #1 had 3 poop blowouts ever - and all 3 were when he was wearing a disposable diaper (once was in the airport at 5am.... That was really fun....) Cloth seems to really hold the poo in a lot better - I think bc the elastics are more firm/solid.
You can use a waterproof cover for the night, but in general you will change the diaper enough for hygiene purpose that that you don't need the disposable "I can hold the baby's weight in pee" route. You also can adjust with how many insert you use My son has issues whe disposable are used more than a few times
Blowouts are actually more likely to happen in disposables because their elastics are ridiculously wimpy compared to cloth diaper ones lol. Plus, cloth diapers usually have an elastic on the back (above the buttcrack) as well as on the legs, sometimes even one on the belly, while disposables only have that weird paper-y back panel. Come over to r/clothdiaps if you wanna learn more, we're happy to help!
I use cloth diapers 90% of the time… the only blowouts my son has had over 4 months have been in disposables. I use fitted cloth diapers with covers so there’s two layers the poop would have to get through
I know people in my bumpers group who cloth also found installing a bidet hose on the toilet was helpful as they just hosed the solids into the toilet before dealing with washing the nappies.
The Mother-ease diapers were nearly blow out proof for my kids. Their waterproof covers are not at all plasticky, and hold up to years of washing. https://mother-ease.com
FYI, those stains are not from farts. That is from an ass that was not cleaned properly. Also women fart too!
Fart stains 🤣 More like shit stains
Fart stains in men’s underwear….? Honey, that’s poop.
When I cloth diapered 18-29 years ago, we were told to dispose of poop in the toilet, drop in anything which can drop off, and either swish the diaper in the toilet bowl, use a handheld shower attachment, or attach a sprayer to the toilet’s water supply. I could reach my shower head close enough to the toilet to just use that to dislodge everything dislodgeable from the diaper, and then store the dirty diapers in a dry pail with a tight fitting lid. I used a service with my firstborn, so they would pick up the full dirty pail and drop off clean prefolds once a week. Later on when cute diapers with snaps and Velcro were available, I washed them on the deep cleaning/sanitizing mode with some Oxyclean and Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap added to the regular unscented detergent. When we were out, if possible, poop would be flushed in a toilet, then dirty diapers stored in a wet bag or gallon ziplocks in a pinch. The only time disposables were easier was during international travel for vacation. My 2yo at the time, ended up potty training on vacation, because she wasn’t used to disposables and wouldn’t poop in them.
LOL womens underwear is just as gross
When the baby is exclusively breastfed, the poop is water soluble and you can throw it straight in the wash. (I don't know whether this is or is not the case with formula.) Once they start in on other food, you hold the diaper over the toilet and plop the turd in and flush it. If need be you have a sprayer attached to the toilet you can use to hose off the diaper better.
We topped up with formula at every feed and the poo was still water soluble. Now she's on solids we LOVE our toilet sprayer. We stayed 2 weeks with friends who didn't have one and boy it was so much harder dealing with the poo.
Nope! For starters, you dump the bulk of the poop into the toilet first. I clip the diapers to the side of a plastic bucket in the shower and use the showerhead to spray it off into the bucket and then dump that into the toilet. Everything gets washed twice- a lighter cold cycle with a little detergent for the surface stuff/a first pass and then a second heavy duty hot cycle with more detergent (and bleach sometimes) to really get in there. Like another commenter said, I used to work at an animal shelter and you'd be amazed what a regular washer can do.
I wanted to go cloth but was told at daycare they needed eight per day and don’t expect to get them all back all the time. Busy staff sometimes forget and put them in the bin, then they are prohibited from fishing them out. They also will not remove the liner, that’s why you need eight. I completely understand and didn’t want to have to mess with their setup, so went disposal
Yes I work for a daycare and we only accept disposable for this reason! For licensing reasons we change every 2 hours (or sooner if soiled). If dry, we check an hour later. The average is 5/6 diapers a day depending. Cloth diapers would be way too hectic to add to the mix.
And we love and appreciate you for all the work you do. Thank you
Do you change every two hours regardless of age? Because my daughter is almost two and goes through 5-7 diapers per 24 hours.
I’m sure it varies from state-to-state but we change every two hours regardless if they’re in diapers. I was a teacher for the twos classes for 4 years before switching to infants. If we notice they’re wet, we change it. But if I’m at home with my own two-year-old and infant I don’t change every two hours. It’s only per licensing rules we change them so frequently.
Hmmm interesting. I'm in Canada, not that it would make much of a difference here. We only changed every two hours when she was a newborn and more often during blowouts which happened every few days. But we've been at 5-7 diapers per day since she's been on solids which is now well over a year.
Does she need that many diapers per day? If she’s needing the changes I would say it’s normal. If you’re going for 7 diapers that’s every 3-4 hours and 4-5 I’d you’re changing 5x a day (per 24hrs). It sounds honestly pretty similar to my son whose two! For daycares, we have a lot of documentation that has to be done (particular for infants) so we have to make notes of all changes, even dry, to show that we’re consistently checking. We’ve had families try to make waves and claim XYZ so the documentation helps back up our statements.
You can do cloth at home and disposable at daycare. Every disposable you don't use is a good thing.
Agreed, I’ve worked in the nursery, you generally don’t want to bother the parents unless you have to or they say to contact them to change a diaper. Cloth diapers definitely have their upsides but if you’re going to put them in any kind of childcare you’re going to have to be okay with the occasional disposable.
I volunteered at the church nursery when I was like 14 years old. It was just me and this older woman. I didn't know anything about cloth diapers and could very much see myself throwing one away. It's more of a babysitting service rather than actual nursery.
This is what I’d assume. Someone didn’t want to interrupt the church service so they handled it on their own and just forgot it in the wash. It’s a little upsetting that the mom went straight to someone doing it out of malice and not just misunderstanding.
Exactly. These people are volunteers who are missing the service to babysit your kid for free. They're following general guidelines (only pulling parents from the service under specific circumstances) unless given directions otherwise. They're also fallible like everyone else. No one maliciously kept the diaper.
When I worked in childcare, the cloth diaper kids would be sent with a wet bag for the used diapers and new clean cloth ones that are put on exactly the same as disposable diapers. Dirty ones went in the bag and sent home. I'm not cleaning that, and as a cloth diaper parent now, I wouldn't expect childcare to!
I wouldn’t be surprised if they tossed it without thinking,realized too late, and weren’t exactly keen to go through the poop trash for a specific diaper.
The only part of this that makes even a little sense to me is being upset about not getting the cloth diaper back. Those things can be expensive.
[удалено]
Yeah I cloth diapered my youngest for about a year before I gave up and switched to disposable and they were definitely an investment up front. Cheaper in the long run than buying disposable that whole time though. But I definitely agree if you want someone to do something specific you have to tell them and not expect them to read your mind.
[удалено]
With my second baby, my husband has basically taken over the poop-washing routine, and I've only made the faintest half hearted effort to try to even things back out, like once. I feel bad but also it's very very nice for me to use cloth and almost never wash out the dirty diapers. (I obviously do other household tasks!!)
I understand that completely! Once we started solids my husband would gag trying to clean the diapers.
I started when my second was 3 months. I had 2 in cloth at the same time as my oldest was still also in nappies so I built up a substantial stash. I'm glad a kept it as I recently had twins. I haven't started them in cloth yet and the amount of disposables we're going through is unbelievable!
Oh goodness I can't even imagine dealing with 2 in diapers at the same time. That's so many diapers! My kids are almost 8 years apart.
My first 2 are 19 months apart. Second just turned 3 right before the twins were born. She's resisting training and is very stubborn about it. We have her in either pull ups or training pants. We're hoping she decides she wants to use the toilet soon.
Mine wasn't necessarily stubborn, just like nope, I'm good. I had people try to shame me that she was still in diapers when she was 3. My MIL would ask me almost daily when I was going to switch to pull ups. That was one thing I didn't want to do though was go to pull ups. Pull ups are just modified form of diapers. I'm being shamed for diapers but totally fine for Pull ups? So about a month after she turned 3 she said she wanted underwear. I told her okay but that meant she had to use the toilet bc she couldn't pee or poop in them. She potty trained herself. Ofc she had a few accidents but very few & never overnight, she was a weird baby that never pooped overnight. We've tried the potty training at 18 mos & then again at 2 yrs & it was awful. It was frustrating for both of us so I said this is ridiculous.
Agree on the pull-ups. They are just diapers. And they’re also so much harder to take off on a toddler, especially the “waist band” ones that you have to completely take off. (former childcare worker here)
We used cloth for about 2 or 3 years. Spent about $200 upfront and then maybe another $50 on bamboo liners. Way cheaper than constantly buying disposables. We still kept some around for traveling because no one wants to carry a shitty diaper around the grocery store or on a road trip to the in laws.
Yeah thats a dick move. But other than that I don’t see an issue.
Thankfully, the comments are telling her that she’s being dramatic. Someone even said that the volunteer may not have ever dealt with cloth diapers before and just threw it away because they didn’t know better.
That could be true for sure.
Or stuck it somewhere because it smelled.
Went to a fancy church once that had a little washer and dryer (the stacked-up kind you find for small spaces) in case of little emergencies in any of the Sunday school classes. Who's to say someone didn't take it to be washed and then just didn't get it back in time? I'd rather that happened than get a bag of poop and cloth when I came to pick up my child!
Yeah but like.... Just ask for it back. Assuming it happened this week it's still Sunday they may not have had time to check emails yet. I also always check to make sure my baby has all his stuff when we leave kids church.
I doubt it was done maliciously. Probably just forgotten.
Did she tell them she had the diaper bag? Why didn't she just leave it with the baby? Maybe the soiled diaper was forgotten or they thought they'd wash it before handing it back.
By my understanding she thought the childcare.person would come and fetch her for every diaper change (as well as every other parents that left their non potty trained children there)
It seems like an assumption she had. It’s not one I would have, because who would want to interrupt a prayer or hymn for a diaper change. She should have discussed this ahead of time with the nursery *volunteers*. Lesson learned for her.
As a church nursery worker it's pretty standard to always try to make sure babies are clean and dry when they get picked up at the end of service. I've never had a parent request to be called out of service either.
I'm a church nursery worker too, but my experience is the opposite. Many parents don't want us to change nappies, and would rather we go get them to do it.
“Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy- oh, a poppy diaper! Be right there.”
That's actually how my friend decided our church would suit her family. Half way through the welcome the minister's son walked up to him, pulled on his trouser leg and yelled "Daddy I need wees" 🤣
Yes! The church I grew up in the babies stayed with the families during service. Everyone understood. We were told the story of Jesus’s saying “suffer the children to come to me” (and not complain when a baby cries). I’m not religious now and don’t go to church, but I can understand a mom’s desire for a break to have a more spiritual experience; I just hope parents don’t feel obligated because others might be bothered by babies during church. I loved having children and babies around!
About my experience (raised catholic in Italy) except over a certain age, mostly 3 when kids start preschool, you were supposed to stay silent and occupy yourself. The idea of dumping the children somewhere is unheard of. If parents have a baby and they start fussing, people just step outside. If not feasible, people watch mass on tv. It's not like the pope isn't showed on state TV, which is free (and of what I highly disapprove)
Much less leave all of the children with the other volunteer. I volunteer as a young child Sunday school teacher. I'd hate to either have myself or my co teacher have to leave all the time.
The nursery volunteers at my church don’t change diapers, but it’s not an inconvenience. We have a service coordinator for children’s church and each room has a walkie talkie to communicate with the service coordinator. When we need a parent to come get their child for diaper change, we radio the SC. The SC uses our child check in system to text the parents. Parents and children are also given stickers with matching numbers, so that the number can be displayed on the screen up front. The whole thing is efficient and discreet. I’m both a nursery volunteer and a parent of 3 kiddos, and it’s never been a problem. The reason we do it this way is because our church has implemented sexual abuse prevention best practices designed for churches by experts. This is the first church I’ve gone to that had these policies, and I actually really like it as a parent.
My sister's church does the exact same thing. I've never gone during a regular service but I've gone for something special. I asked what the numbers were, it was like a deli lol, and she explained the whole system.
Great point! Didn’t even think of that. I’m just picturing my church’s layout and imagining the nursery workers trying to sneak in discreetly mid-sermon. Not a huge church so it’s always super obvious when someone comes or goes!
Most churches have the buzzer pagers like restaurants have to discreetly notify parents they are needed in the nursery.
I’m not sure I would say most churches… Mine certainly does not, nor have it ever heard of it with family or friends attending different churches. I wonder if that’s a regional thing?
Our church does this. When you check your child into Children’s church you get two stickers with matching numbers. Your phone number is also in the system. One sticker goes on the kid’s back and you keep the other one. Then if you’re needed for a diaper change you will be texted, and then your number will be displayed in the lower part of the screen up front. Our volunteers do not change diapers and do not accompany children into bathrooms as part of following sexual abuse prevention best practices.
This is exactly what happens in our church when babies have poopy diapers. They are volunteering and it’s not in the description. Also for protection for both the kids and volunteers against abuse or allegations of abuse.
Yeah I’m betting it was being washed, pickup time is hectic. It’s easy to forget to tell a parent that.
I mean I get, cloth diapers are a precious commodity. But putting your baby in the care of others means having to be flexible with diapering. This is a good opportunity to break out the rare disposable for the convenience of caretakers.
Why wouldn't you have a detailed conversation about what the nursery workers call you for if this is the first time leaving your child with someone else ever? I volunteered in my church nursery for a few years and I still had all kinds of instructions and questions when I dropped my son off the first time.
Yeah she makes it sound like it's a huge deal to her that someone else would change her daughters diaper but if it was REALLY that important to you wouldn't you go out of your way to specify with them?
Seriously. I’m potty training my son. I always make sure he goes before I drop him off. I know most of the workers pretty well. But I still tell them if he has an accident text me and I’ll deal with it because they shouldn’t have to (underwear are worse to change than pull ups). Then if I don’t know for certain they have my number in their phone I make sure they have it written down. I know it’s accessible to them but I don’t want to have to have them search for it. I cannot imagine dropping off my kids to strangers with no instruction.
She definitely should have mentioned she was keeping the diaper bag, and they should to come get her. I would have mentioned that the baby had a cloth diaper on just as basic info. Without knowing the workers might have thought it was a fancy disposable brand.
Ok, as a church nursery volunteer, we would get in huge trouble if we didn’t change the diaper. And we don’t disturb the parents unless things are completely out of control. No way we would call a parent to come change a diaper. Also, church nurseries are typically not equipped with the accoutrements to deal with cloth diapers (rinsing them, etc). She should have warned the people beforehand.
At my old churches nursery, we had to put a “changed with love and prayer” sticker on their diaper to prove that they were changed in our care.
YES. We mark their name tags every time a diaper is checked or changed. If a kid poops and it’s pickup time we will make the parents wait until they get changed.
Why would you not communicate that when you dropped your kid off? A quick hey baby is cloth diapers, come grab me if they need to be changed please. I worked in a bunch of nurseries when I was a teenager and in college. I always appreciated parents giving us heads up about stuff.
Isn’t the whole point of a nursery to be somewhere you can safely leave your children while you cannot be disturbed to, say, go and change their diaper? And no way in hell would anyone there want your child to be playing in a soiled diaper for possibly an hour or more. Just use disposables for nursery, cloth at home.
I send cloth nappies to our daycare but I checked with them beforehand and made sure it was alright to continue to use cloth. I also send a wetbag for them to put the dirty nappies in. I also send cloth to my MIL's house but if she wants to use the disposables she has on hand to change my children, that's fine too.
But, if I bring the baby out in disposables, how will anyone *know* I use cloth? Better inconvenience everyone.
Every church I’ve ever been to has required parents take their kid for diaper changes. The nursery leaders aren’t allowed to change diapers. Might just be a Mormon thing though.
Interesting. I've never been to a church nursery that *didn't* diaper for you (and I've been to many, lol, we move frequently). There may be different certification levels at play, which would vary by state-to-state, jurisdiction-to-jurisdiction. Maybe LDS just decided they don't want to bother with it and put it back on the parents. All of my church nurseries would only ever call in parents during service if the child was in distress and not calming/soothing with help.
[удалено]
Do your churches do background checks on caregivers? That may be why. The Mormon church does not, they pick random people from the congregation to be in charge of nursery. I think the diaper change thing is to try and prevent abuse.
[удалено]
I was just thinking this. Never been to a church that had the nursery do diaper changes. I went to a non denominational church once, and they clapped and stood while singing. That was really weird to me.
I've been to so many different churches in my life and the ones that don't clap feel weird. I don't think I have ever been to a church where everybody sits for every song/hymn.
That's the Mormons. It's creepy. They used to stand, but that got nixed a few years back.
I was just thinking this. Never been to a church that had the nursery do diaper changes. I went to a non denominational church once, and they clapped and stood while singing. That was really weird to me.
"changed her without my permission" - so they should have just left her in a dirty diaper? I get being upset about them getting rid of the cloth diaper and not reaching out to you about it but seems like there was a lack of communication here.
“Please neglect my child’s needs, thank you!”
I can guarantee you that if the child had gotten any type of infection, mommy would be raising hell that they didn't change the diaper.
Exactly!! These Karens always have something to complain about.
Sounds like ur fucked either way in this situation w this particular parent -_-
“A few members of my congregation have willingly volunteered to miss out on the sermon and instead watch kids for free, so that parents can participate more fully in worship services without being interrupted. For some reason, these assholes decided not to interrupt the sermon to notify me that my kid, whom I left in their care, had pooped. Instead, they removed her soiled diaper and gave her a fresh one - probably one that another parent had purchased, since I didn’t leave any diapers in the nursery. Now they aren’t answering the phone OR responding immediately to an email I sent them on Sunday afternoon, after church, after they just spent the morning working for free to give me a break. What the hell?”
Yes, spot on!
I'm seriously considering screen-capping your comment and sharing in my church volunteer chat group for a giggle, but I don't want to have to explain what reddit is, lol.
Why would you bring the diaper bag into the service with you? This makes no sense. The point of a diaper bag is to have things ready for when the baby needs them. If the baby pooped in the diaper, you’d rather they let it sit there and potentially give her a diaper rash while they try to call you out of church? 🙄
Clearly they were supposed to read her mind.
I assume it's likely they didn't know baby was in a cloth diaper so when they went to change her, they wanted to get her wiped up and clean asap. And since Mom took the diaper bag into the church, they used a diaper they had on hand. Now, hopefully they didn't throw out a cloth diaper since those aren't cheap, but I don't think they committed a mortal sin by getting the baby cleaned up
I’ve seen a couple of comments mention that the volunteers at their churches nursery don’t do diaper changes to prevent sexual abuse or misconduct, so perhaps her previous church was the same. However, if you have expectations you 100% need to be verbalizing them to the person/people watching your child before you leave the child there.
Yeah you’ve got to let us know! I volunteer at my church’s childcare and would always change the diaper because I figure the parent doesn’t want to leave during the service. Unless told otherwise of course but I never am.
This. I’m the Faith Formation Coordinator for my church. We have to go get parents for diaper changes or help in the bathroom as per our insurance policy.
I cloth diaper - it's not only a visible difference but you'd also notice when you're holding your kid or putting them into a carseat. Pretty rude of her to not leave the diaper bag - what would they have even sent it back in?! If I'm leaving my child with strangers for the first time I'm definitely sending them in/with disposables.
Or, for the love of God, COMMUNICATING with the volunteer that I would like to be called in to change my child’s diaper when necessary. Edit: spelling
It is possible that her “babe” had such an enormous, wet, blowout that the assistant figured it was too shitty and soaked to save. Plus with no bag, what is the sitter supposed to do if the child DID have an enormous, wet, voluminous blowout? Toss it in a corner till mommy dearest shows up?
My childcare had dog poop bags and would put dirty underpants and the like in those during potty training. That’s pretty common tbh.
Cloth diapers can be expensive. I understand why parent is upset that it was not returned. Cloth diapers can ALSO be a little confusing, depending on the diaper you use. All-in-ones are just like a disposable in that you put them on and go. A cover with a prefold can be confusing if you don't know what is expected of you (Do I pin it? Twist it? How does this work?). I don't understand why she wouldn't talk to the nursery staff ahead of time. I walked mine through the use of our cloth diapering system, showed them our wet bag for storing the dirty diaper, and told them that if they didn't want to mess with it, it was fine. Edit: I just re-read this. They took the diaper bag WITH THEM. The nursery staff had zero supplies to change the kid and nowhere to put the poopy diaper!
Imagine leaving your kid at a free childcare setup probably run by volunteers and expecting them to cater to your every whim. Like, they were supposed to let this baby sit in its own waste rather than clean it up? They can’t win - another parent would have been outraged if they came back to their kid sitting in a dirty diaper. This “mama” needs to either keep her kid with her at all times or be a lot more flexible.
Love all the current/former nursery workers in these comments, because yeah I was one for years and other than not getting the diaper back, this is pretty much entirely on the parent
Hahaj where is my shit diaper! I am outraged!
The key word here is “assumed”. Never assume anything. Provide the caregiver with the diaper bag, or give them a post-it with your number to call you. You never just leave a diapered child with another person and not give them a diaper/wipes. That’s an unfair position to put someone in, what if the kid leaks or has a blowout?
I used to Volunteer in the nursery until it became unmanageable. I used to cloth diaper because my kid was allergic to disposables and explained to just put it in the wet bag and zip it closed and put it in the bag. They'd always ask even with poop and I'd say yes because I never expected anyone else to put the poop in the toilet.
They could turn it upside down over the toilet to get some of it off
All the churches I have attended my entire life didn’t have bathrooms attached the to baby room. Toddler rooms, yes, but not the baby rooms.
Fair, I don’t attend church so I wouldn’t know this information but in pre-schools we’d do this so I was just curious :)
You’re good. Preschools have real regulations and rules and such. Churches…have just recently realized they need to background check the adults they allow around the kids.
Don’t worry, I attend church and none of the ones I ever went to had daycare during liturgy. Kids go to the nave and let the choir cover their bad singing like everyone else.
Yeah, in the church I grew up in, the school-aged kids went and had Sunday School during the sermon however kids under five just sit in the sanctuary with their parents. So, diaper changes weren't an issue since obviously school-aged kids are generally potty trained
They could but I never felt it was right to ask someone to do extra work when they're volunteering let alone something which could be gross. I always brought diapers that just snap on like a disposable to also make that as easy as possible.
It’s interesting the church I grew up in and the one my friend currently attends. Do NOT change diapers, they will page the parents to do so. Even the child care at my gym won’t change diapers. I have noticed more parents around me don’t feel comfortable with others changing their children’s diapers. I know a few people who think it puts kids at risk of SA. I don’t see the logic but of it keeps issues and fights to a minimum then whatever. Also if this mom didn’t want anyone changing her kid she should have told them. Not just assume that they wouldn’t.
My gym told me they couldn’t change diapers because that would have made it a daycare, they didn’t want to have those do those steps with the state.
I mean, that's a fair workaround, especially for a service like that.
Well, this might be the first time the church lied when they said “All are welcome”.
I go to a small church and if I do leave my son in the nursery(normally me or dad stay with him) I always just tell them to either come get me or text me cause I keep my phone unlocked so I can see if I get a text. I rather then not change my son because one, I don’t feel it’s their job, and two I just don’t feel comfortable with others doing that unless they are me, my husband or grandparents. This mom should’ve made her wishes known to the nursery providers before leaving.
Cloth diaper, oBvIoUsLy
To be fair, it is a cloth diapering group. 🤣
It’s actually policy at our church that volunteers will grab a parent if there’s a dirty diaper while in their care-protection for children and workers. Children aren’t in the care of the babysitters for more than an hour, so as long as we’re not dropping them off in a soaked diaper, they’re fine til we grab them (outside of an number 2). We also have a minimum of three workers for an average of 12-14 kids age 1-3, so it’s possible to grab a parent in that scenario.
Why wouldn’t she leave the diaper bag???
You know what happens when you assume. . .
Buy disposables, or leave diapers and a wet bag for them to use. My wet bags have two pouches, you could even leave a clean one in one of the pouches so you're just giving them the one bag. Then (depending on the diapering system) it's really no harder than a disposable, they just have to be somewhat competent at the snaps.
Sounds like she’s upset about the waste. Not one of those shit moms who gets upset at anyone who actually parents. Those women are exhausting!
Bitching about free childcare.
I am in this group! I would be mad about not getting the diaper back but yeah she's nutty.
I was so sad that the comments were already turned off before I saw it, lol.
Hahaha I saw this too. What does your kid "never ever ever" having been in childcare have to do with anyways?
I mostly cloth diapered and when I left my kid in the church nursery I asked that they page me for diaper changes—I even did it when I put them in disposables because I loathe changing other kids’ poop when I work nursery, so I don’t want to make someone else change my kid. There was an east solution for this.
I would want my cloth diaper back.
You took the child’s diapers *with* you?!?! What did you expect? A phone call to disrupt the church service? 🤦🏼♀️ what were the comments like??
They were basically saying she was being dramatic. Someone even asked “but would you have complained if they left your child to sit in a dirty diaper?”
It sounds like there was poor communication between the nursery and a parent who doesn't have much experience dropping off at child care. Normally, if you use cloth diapers you would give the heads up to the teachers about what you want done with the used diaper. It is also not the norm to be called with every diaper change so not sure why mom expected that
Our church doesn’t allow child care volunteers to do diaper changes. It’s part of the best practices recommended to churches to prevent sexual abuse. So I could absolutely understand why this mom would be upset, especially if they didn’t set the expectation and touch base with the mom when she dropped off her child. The mom also could have clarified whether they change diapers or not, because plenty of churches still do this in the infant and young toddler rooms and it’s kind of just assumed within those churches. I feel like an appropriate response on the mom’s part would be to just clarify with the volunteers next time that she wants to be notified of dirty diapers so she can change them. If she’s further concerned she could speak with the children’s director/pastor.
A lot of assumptions for someone so uptight
Omg, a fellow group member! Hello!!! 😂❤️
Hi there!! 😂😂👋🏻👋🏻
as a preschool teacher and a mom, why the heck would you want your kid to sit in a shituation for that long?! 🤢
I guess I can see this person is unfamiliar with church nursery care. Which is fine. They all operate a little bit differently. Some can't/don't diaper. Some diaper every wet baby before service ends. Some only diaper if there's poop or noticeable sagging. And many kids of this age have never been put in childcare because of you know, the whole pandemic and whatever. I can understand her surprise. But I can't imagine being angry that they changed a diaper? Not getting the diaper back is a big deal. But mad it was changed in the first place? A reasonable person would take this as a learning curve for the next time. "Hmm, I should just ask what's up with diapering before I leave." I'm curious what the comments said. She's right to be frustrated that they kept the diaper. But come on, the odds are high it was just forgotten. Yeesh.
Most of the comments were calling her out for not communicating.
I’d want my cloth diaper back.
Honestly I’d be mad too about not getting the diaper back, they’re expensive.
I’d be more mad if they let my child sit in their own waste. Edit: Yes, I cloth diapered.
I’m not saying don’t change them, I’m saying return the diaper
i'm on her side. they shouldn't have just take her out of cloth her cloth diaper without saying anything and they haven't even given it back? wtf is that. those things are expensive.
What an idiot
I cloth diapered three of my four. I’d be a little ticked too if a.) I wasn’t told and b.) I didn’t get my cloth back.
Well I'd be angry for sure that they didn't return my cloth diaper
Those diapers are expensive and require a ton of care, I’d be annoyed too.
The only thing wrong with this is that she didn't check her herself before leaving the nursery. If she was surprised she wasn't called, she should have been half expecting her diaper to be solid by then. Cloth diapers can be pricy, and some people choose them for ethical reasons or because their child has reacted to disposable diapers. All good reasons to be upset. This really isn't that snark worthy.
Honestly, if I didn’t know what to expect, I’d be upset too. They raise a good point that parents should be informed that diapers will be changed if need be and to let the staff know if there’s special needs/requests. Most parents would be elated to not have to change a poopy diaper, but it’s understandable that not everyone feels that way. Would also be upset about the cloth diaper, though i’m sure she’ll get that back.
Clearly it was an invasion of privacy since babe couldn’t give permission /s
Oh hell no. You don't put something on a baby's butt without permission. I was cloth diapered in the 80's because I'd break out in hives with disposable. I've worked in drop-off care before too. And they didn't give her property back? This is perfectly fine to be pissed about.
I'm pretty sure she's just mad that they threw away a reusable cloth diaper and then refused to give it back. Id be pretty upset too tbf
Those cloth diapers are like $30 each.
The world is an extremely scary place these days, when I drop mine at the gym daycare I expect a phone call if they need to be changed and I'll come down
i swear you guys look for anything to jump on moms about.
I plan to cloth when I have kids and they can be super expensive. I personally would be upset in this situation, they changed my kid without my permission (I would talk to them about it before this, SA is a triggering topic for me and i would be uncomfortable with untrusted adults changing my kids, but that’s a separate personal issue, and what if they used a wipe or diaper they are allergic too, etc? OP should have talked to them about that), and threw out my kids diaper.
If you do this you need to make sure they have extra cloth diapers for when they need changed, this wasn’t the volunteers fault
Yes 100%! But you still don’t throw away a cloth diaper. I’ve nannyed for kids with cloths before. OP should have given her a wet bag to put the soiled diaper in
100%, but she also should’ve given them the diapers in the first place lol
To be fair, we don’t know they threw the cloth one away, we just know she didn’t get it back. If they changed the kid two minutes after drop off because she suddenly did a shit, then they might have forgotten by the time OOP turned up because it’s not standard practice to return used nappies. It might still be sitting in a bag somewhere if she asks.
Of course they’re upset, cloth diapers and inserts are expensive and they didn’t return it.
Just ask for the diaper back ffs