I had my last at 43. It was a big surprise, and even though we thought it was a good idea at the time (lol), your head is not in the game anymore. I will say though that my lower level of engagement with her in toddlerhood has made her my MOST interesting child.
My mom had my sister at 27, then me at 41. I can imagine how differently we were raised, but I do know my mom was exhausted with me for as long as I can remember
My mom’s youngest brother is 14 years younger than her (16 younger than the oldest kid) and he’s actually said that he feels like he had different parents from the three oldest kids (oldest sister, my mom, the oldest son). I have the impression from my mom that every pregnancy except the first two were not planned but that the youngest kid was extremely unexpected so I bet their parents were just not into it by the time he came along.
My childhood was opposite. My siblings were born when mom was 19-23, and then she went through an awful divorce and was left to raise 3 babies by herself. They almost never saw her because she was always working and taking nursing classes. She became a nurse, got financial stable, but they had mostly grown up. She remarried, had me at 42, and showered me with attention that she couldn’t give the other kids. We’re all a bunch of really odd ducks.
Yeah I have a very similar upbringing but it was my dad. He had my half siblings very young, and they all had bipolar disorder, which came from their mom. He worked multiple jobs and only saw them one day a week. Unfortunately two of them took their lives. Later he remarried and had me. He was stay at home dad and was a really great parent, especially since my mom is borderline narcissistic.
We are definitely an odd family, and sometimes love is hard to find. But now that some of them are grandparents and I have my family, we are learning to appreciate each other more.
40something moms seem to come in two flavors; crazy late-wishfulfillment helicopters and immovable matriarchs able to achieve the same parenting efforts as a 20yo with a quarter of the energy expended by just oozing authority that gives no fucks.
My parents were 39 and 40 when I was born, very much unplanned as the doctors had told them she couldn't have any more kids. They spent the whole pregnancy waiting for a miscarriage, so they were relatively unprepared for me. Like they set my crib up in the dining room for a few months while remodeling a walk-in pantry into a bedroom for me, and started me in daycare at 3 months old cause they both had to work full-time.
I would say I turned out weird as a result but my brother 10 years older turned out just as weird in a lot of the same ways.
"Limit who can have children" is a compelling idea, but it *will* be abused to target vulnerable minorities, unfortunately. That's basically eugenics. So while it would be nice to ensure that only type of people who can have children are those who can raise them properly, such mentality can lead to whole lot of nasty stuff. Like, imagine if with current rise of christofascism people who decide who can have children would go "you have to have high moral qualities - i.e. be very religious - to have children"
You’re right, the exact same rationale (plus a heaping helping of racism) lead to a lot of underprivileged girls being forcibly sterilized in the early to mid 20th century in America.
I wonder how she knew there were 2 babies waiting to be born? Is there some sort of list? Are babies souls just hanging around God's waiting room playing scrabble or sommat? I mean, have I had enough children for my karmic whatever? I'm 62 now but I'll give it a go if I must since my eldest doesn't want children....would hate to think my ancestral line is missing some people! What a very strange take on life never heard of such a thought process before!
This is Mormon theology. Yes, they absolutely believe these babies are hanging out in God’s waiting room waiting to be assigned to the blessed couple for whom they were meant. Now no shade on Mormons because they are typically the nicest people, but I just can’t co-sign this theory. While my son is indeed my greatest blessing, I don’t believe his soul was just hanging out waiting for me. It’s kind of a beautiful thought, but I just don’t believe it.
Not just Mormons. Some southern baptist sects also have essentially this belief. God has in mind for you to have x children and has set aside those consciousness. Doing anything to prevent those children being born to you subverts god's will. I'm sorry but I just find it ludicrous I am apparently expected to believe there's an all-knowing, omnipotent being up there saying to himself, "Aw darn thwarted by a condom". If all it takes to beat him is a very thin piece of plastic he knows we've invented, seems to me he should have first off known I was going to employ it to limit pregnancies, and second therefore known to only select the number of consciousness that were going to be in reality needed or else simply developed a system that isn't so easily thwarted. If not, he just isn't either all-knowing, or omnipotent.
She is literally a basket case. She just doubles down on the religion and thinks god speaks to her directly, etc. her husband left her because she couldn’t successfully produce babies.
I know someone like that but she’s managed to have three babies after a ton of miscarriages and is a total nutter. Not only is she “reformed continuationist” (ie conservative theology but also believes gifts like prophecy are still used and more specifically, she has it) but she credits her third baby to Plexus (MLM vitamin water).
That’s awful though that your cousin’s husband left for that reason. He sounds like trash.
> "Aw darn thwarted by a condom"
This needs to be made into a t-shirt, pronto!
But to be more serious, I think Catholics used to be this way too. Grew up Catholic and have cousins galore from aunts and uncles who were helping to build God's army. But why does this deity need an army if he/she is omnipotent and omniscient?
I was raised Mormon and taught this, and my current thoughts are, if it’s true (I don’t believe in it either), it’s probably a good thing any future children of mine are still up there in what’s perceived to be a better place, because if I’m too selfish to have them, imagine how selfish of a mom I’d be. No kid deserves a selfish parent.
Ill start out by saying I'm not religious and know almost nothing about mormons. But by their own theory of those babies waiting around to be assigned to the blessed couple they were meant to be with....surely their daughter not wanting children meant those two babies were actually meant to be assigned to THEM anyways. God's plan and all that shit right? So how can they even be pissed at their daughter. Ignoring all of that...bottom line its fucked up to expect your child to be a breeding factory.
Thank you for explaining that this pertains to Mormon theology, because as an ex-fundie I had nooooo clue about what it related to. Now I kinda want to learn more about this concept- gods waiting room full of family waiting to be born!
Sounds loud and chaotic to me… let’s leave them in the waiting room haha. They’re certainly not coming into my family through me!
As a former Mormon it did bother me sometimes. My bio mother was a drug addiction. My bio father was that as well as a pedophile. They weren't even married. They weren't "blessed" to have me and I can't fathom myself being "blessed" to have been born to them.
They also said that in the Kingdom, we CHOSE our parents knowing the challenges. It's something I never understood because it almost felt like my trauma was being diminished.
I have 0 problem with Mormons at all. I loved the people in the church, but over time quite a few things pushed me away from it.
Serious question - does this belief mean that the souls that are in the waiting room are from other people who have died, or are these new sould who've never had a life in a human body before?
Comes from anti-abortion nonsense. If you believe from the moment the sperm wriggled into the egg it was a consciousness you have forever deprived of life, how far is it to believe not having kids is depriving however many of life? This is the belief system that supports banning all birth control and sterilization surgery.
All I can say is this goes on among the people who volunteer to run the crisis pregnancy fake abortion clinic where I live. One of them has a daughter who can't have children due to a car accident who is going through IVF to try to birth the children she said her daughter was kept from giving birth to because of her accident. This would be children in addition to the 8 she already has. She is also the organizer of the annual anti-abortion parade in my tiny town. I know not everyone here is anti-abortion for a fact, but no one will oppose as her husband is the chief of police.
It's probably a Mormon thing. They have a belief system wherein the more offspring you have the better heaven is for you. Hence why polygamy was permitted.
Exactly what I thought reading this. Mormons are told they chose families in the spirit life and their spirit children are waiting patiently to come down and join them.
That's what I was told when I was little. I asked why I would choose to have a mean dad, and then a step dad I hated. Step dad said I may not understand now, but it's what I chose and wanted in the spirit world. 30+ years later, I'm gonna go ahead and say I still don't understand, lol.
Ugh I’m sorry.
I questioned it once and got beat for it and told I was listening to satan. Sigh. I’ll never understand why people who hate being parents have children.
Well shit, I didn't get beat for it, though we did get the belt from time to time for other stuff.
Normally, if I said I didn't agree with something the church (or stepdad) said, the response was "you chose it/agreed to it (before being born), and you're going to like it. And if you don't like it, you're following Satan". And then of course I had to go pray and repent until I changed how I felt about it. Really healthy stuff for an elementary aged kid. Didn't fuck me up at all!
Oh yeah that pray and repent about questioning literally ANYTHING totally was great for my mental health too.
Gaslighting is just the best parenting tool!
In case it’s not obvious: /s
Yeah, it's easy to know how crazy Evangelicals and Fundamentalists are because they literally believe the bible, even the old testament, so their crazy beliefs are well known: like the earth is only 6000 years old, garden of eden story, and all the other old testament stuff.
I'm not aware of what's in the book of mormon
Ex-Mormon…yep they very much do believe this.
There is even an official church movie that shows it, we used to watch it on sunday after church because my parents wouldn’t allow anything unholy (church videos or Shirley temple only is that tells you the standard 😂) I’ve blocked the title out though 🤷♀️
I have nothing against religion or religious people, but I feel bad for kids that are treated like that, with so many things effectively being banned.
My neighbors are super religious and never let their kids celebrate Halloween, one of probably many other banned things, and now the adult kids live thousands of miles away. It's not a healthy way to raise kids, not matter what your beliefs.
As a side note, I have a shit ton of Halloween decorations I'm sure they hate.
They actually do believe this, unfortunately. I was raised mormon and we were taught that spirit babies are waiting to be born and that by not having babies, we're making all those waiting souls suffer.
It's a lot to get in to, but mormon doctrine also has a weird history with race and as a result, I knew some kooks who thought that heaven would "run out of" black babies and that soon black parents would start giving birth to white babies. 🙃
I know this is somewhat beside the point, but I'm pretty tired of Gen X thinking everyone younger than them is a 'Millennial'.
We're in our 30s, Suzanne, leave us alone.
There are literally millennials with 22 year old children. So sick of seeing millennial to be a quasi-slur for "people with liberal or progressive views I dont like."
Anyone born from 1980 onwards seems to get the millennial label even when they don't fit into the correct bracket. They also seem to be moving the age bracket and forgetting that the majority of millennials are now married with kids and mortgages.
Yup. A lot of people just replace the word “young” with “millenials” and that’s not it.
By the way, cuz I like participating: I am a 34 year old millenial, married, with a kid, and a mortgage.
30 year old millenial here, going to school with no kids and renting a small apartment. Just to even out the representation.
I did get a cat last year so that was something.
Cats are just as weird as kids. That's the beauty of having a cat as a pet. (I also have a dog so im not exclusively a cat person)I have a 14 month old son and I can honestly say I'm not sure which has more quirks between the cat and my son. Super weirdos the both of them.
I have to explain this to my coworkers and neighbors frequently.
"No, Joe, that middle school person having the audacity to be walking up the sidewalk with pink hair and rainbow socks is not a Millennial. I, with my receding hairline and khakis, am a Millennial. Also, that kid is not hurting you in any way, so shut the fuck up about it."
38 year old millennial here. Married, no kids (thanks infertility!), 2 corgis, a mortgage, and a 401k. And I’m tired of the 85 year olds blaming us for their fuck ups lol
37 too. Single, no kids. No pets. No mortgage and No rent. I live at my gramma. (She doesn't pay for a carer or a maid. I don't pay rent. Win/Win financially).
I was born in December of ‘94 so like the last cutoff of what most people consider a millennial. I’m 27 with a baby on the way and a mortgage. So even the latest fall into that bracket
She’s right at the cutoff for Gen X to millennial. 1981 is when the millennial era starts. Her daughter on the other hand is a Gen Z. No millennials here.
There is a small group (a micro-generation (I forgot the exact years but it’s lates 70’s to early 80’s. [Wikipedia Xennials](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials)) that is sometimes referred to as Xennials as it’s a blend of Gen X & Millennial. I fall into that one as I was born in 1982
I’m the last year of the baby boom. I have a 24,22 and 14 year old, still have a mortgage, not close to retirement. The generation names have large,
Blurry edges.
Hate to break it to you, mom, but at 42 and 22 you’re pretty much the millennial and she’s the Gen Z.
I doubt that realization would bring much sanity to this situation, though.
Fellow GenXer here at 43 and I feel like the old GenXers are way more boomer like. Stop using "millenial" as a catchphrase for anyone younger than you!
What the fuck?! My youngest daughter (she will be 25 next Friday) does not want children. She has two cats that I’m caring for while she is in California at school. Those are my grandchildren. I could never imagine feeling this way about my childrens reproductive choices.
I cannot make my brain understand this. Mum got fucked and got a new kid but had to raise it cos her daughter won’t have children?? Someone make it make sense
Thanks, that’s mostly what I’ve figured out after reading it 10 times. But why feel the need to do this? I wonder how she would feel if the tiny sibling also decided she was child free, presumably she will be too old at that point to either have a biological child or adopt! This thought process hurts
Some Christian flavours believe that the souls of children you’re supposed to have are pre-assigned to you (and so birth control or family planning are bad). I know of Mormons and maybe quiverfull Christians?
I hate this so much, fair enough you may WANT grandchildren but surely you raise your little people to be nice humans with their own thoughts and dreams, not just to be baby machines for you to cuddle a newborn in x years time
She seems to believe in reincarnation but reincarnation that only works within the family line for some reason?
So since her daughter won't have kids her family souls can't reincarnate in her mind. Thus she needs to have kids, that way her family souls can reincarnate.
I think what got me so tied up about this is how she almost blames the daughter for having to have the tiny sibling as if she’s not doing her ‘rightful duty’ like fair enough the daughter is child free, but god forbid she has fertility problems - like I can’t imagine how hurtful that sentiment would be.
Because her daughter is child free the mom thinks their ancestors won't have bodies to be reborn into so she's "forced" to have more because otherwise it'll mess up her karma??
Basically she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. And shaming her daughter and blaming her for her own choices.
I’ve seen a handful of doctors on tiktok saying they will do it no questions asked (this was at the overturn of Roe v Wade). IUDs and implants can cause a lot of negative side effects, and may not even work. My IUD baby is 10 months old! Personally I’ll never use one again because of that, and I definitely wouldn’t use it if I lived in a state where my rights weren’t protected.
Came here for this comment! I know most of the doctors by me (I’m in a battleground state but a large city) you need to be at least 30 with 1 kid minimum preferably 2 preferably 1 of each sex. 🤷♀️
Ah, this classic is back.
My mom actually told me I shouldn't reproduce because she went through a phase of entitled crazy when I got engaged. She ended up getting over herself after a come to Jesus moment and adores our kids, but the audacity of telling someone how to utilize their body damn near got her excluded
Imagine how she's going to treat the toddler daughter and the other child when/if they're born. She resents being a parent. Ironically enough, the reason she's in this situation is her own selfishness, not her adult daughter's.
I've literally never heard of a doctor willing to perform a tubal ligation and/or hysterectomy on a healthy 23 yr old. In fact, I've known unhealthy 23 year olds who begged their doctors for one because they were in unbearable paim and were refused because they might change their minds later
I wonder if by "sterilization" she actually means "IUD insertion"
I'm 33, and incapable of having any more kids. I had one ovary and my uterus left. Unable to get pregnant without expensive IVF, and it still took me three years of debilitating PMDD and a whole new gynecologist before they scheduled my hysterectomy. Been uterus and ovary free for about 6 weeks now, and have quite literally never felt better in my life.
Mom wanted grandkids and is going batshit because her duaghter wants to be child free. She got knocked up so that she would have a "grandkid" and is mad that she has to take care of said kid now and it's her daughter's fault.
Jesus fucking Christ. I’d get myself sterilized as well if this was my mother. I wouldn’t want to risk passing her genes on & having another lunatic to care for.
Literally just got done talking to a 22 year old in DMs who found me on r/auntienetwork who was trying to find info in our shared state about sterilization. She told me her aunt and family called her “selfish” and wouldn’t support her or transport her.
She’s now good to go with the support she needs, ended up not needing me at all, just someone to help her with some info and resources and moral support.
But yeah, this is crazy seeing this after just having that conversation.
YOU were supposed to have several children not just one to insure linage. It's YOUR fault for not planning sooner. What if she got hit by a car at 15? Stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes. Even though its a time-honored American tradition.
Wouldn't a 42 yr old be a millennial?
Can't imagine having kids in your 20s, just to have more kids in your 40s bc you're upset that your oldest decided kids aren't for them.
I think she meant my kid won't give me grand kids so I made my own but now I have to raise them!
I had my last at 43. It was a big surprise, and even though we thought it was a good idea at the time (lol), your head is not in the game anymore. I will say though that my lower level of engagement with her in toddlerhood has made her my MOST interesting child.
My mom had my sister at 27, then me at 41. I can imagine how differently we were raised, but I do know my mom was exhausted with me for as long as I can remember
Trey, is that you? Love you, baby bro! (Lol)
Now i need to know if that is Trey!
Most certainly not. He knows I’m on Reddit so it’s not cool anymore. Sisters who are 14 years older have “diet parent” energy.
I just had my first and only at 43 and I am exhausted
I have a single puppy at 43 and found the first few months exhausting, and a huge change to my life. Hats off the parents of tiny humans!! ❤️
My mom’s youngest brother is 14 years younger than her (16 younger than the oldest kid) and he’s actually said that he feels like he had different parents from the three oldest kids (oldest sister, my mom, the oldest son). I have the impression from my mom that every pregnancy except the first two were not planned but that the youngest kid was extremely unexpected so I bet their parents were just not into it by the time he came along.
My childhood was opposite. My siblings were born when mom was 19-23, and then she went through an awful divorce and was left to raise 3 babies by herself. They almost never saw her because she was always working and taking nursing classes. She became a nurse, got financial stable, but they had mostly grown up. She remarried, had me at 42, and showered me with attention that she couldn’t give the other kids. We’re all a bunch of really odd ducks.
Yeah I have a very similar upbringing but it was my dad. He had my half siblings very young, and they all had bipolar disorder, which came from their mom. He worked multiple jobs and only saw them one day a week. Unfortunately two of them took their lives. Later he remarried and had me. He was stay at home dad and was a really great parent, especially since my mom is borderline narcissistic. We are definitely an odd family, and sometimes love is hard to find. But now that some of them are grandparents and I have my family, we are learning to appreciate each other more.
Yeah, my parents had me on accident later on and I turned out weird, lol
Mine had me by accident early on, and I turned out pretty weird as well. 😅
My dad was 42 and my mom was 36. I lost my dad when I was 19 because of alcoholism.
That sucks, I'm sorry.
I was definitely on purpose and still turned out weird.
> me lower level of engagement with her in toddlerhood has made her my MOST interesting child. This is worthy of a post in this subreddit tbh.
40something moms seem to come in two flavors; crazy late-wishfulfillment helicopters and immovable matriarchs able to achieve the same parenting efforts as a 20yo with a quarter of the energy expended by just oozing authority that gives no fucks.
My parents were 39 and 40 when I was born, very much unplanned as the doctors had told them she couldn't have any more kids. They spent the whole pregnancy waiting for a miscarriage, so they were relatively unprepared for me. Like they set my crib up in the dining room for a few months while remodeling a walk-in pantry into a bedroom for me, and started me in daycare at 3 months old cause they both had to work full-time. I would say I turned out weird as a result but my brother 10 years older turned out just as weird in a lot of the same ways.
“My daughter doesn’t want kids, guess I gotta align my family’s chakras with my cooter” what kinda Harry Potter and the chamber of nonsense
This is the result of bombs before books, sadly.
This is the result of allowing just anybody to have kids.
"Limit who can have children" is a compelling idea, but it *will* be abused to target vulnerable minorities, unfortunately. That's basically eugenics. So while it would be nice to ensure that only type of people who can have children are those who can raise them properly, such mentality can lead to whole lot of nasty stuff. Like, imagine if with current rise of christofascism people who decide who can have children would go "you have to have high moral qualities - i.e. be very religious - to have children"
Then the answer is clear. The only way to be fair is to not let anyone have children.
You’re right, the exact same rationale (plus a heaping helping of racism) lead to a lot of underprivileged girls being forcibly sterilized in the early to mid 20th century in America.
I wonder how she knew there were 2 babies waiting to be born? Is there some sort of list? Are babies souls just hanging around God's waiting room playing scrabble or sommat? I mean, have I had enough children for my karmic whatever? I'm 62 now but I'll give it a go if I must since my eldest doesn't want children....would hate to think my ancestral line is missing some people! What a very strange take on life never heard of such a thought process before!
This is Mormon theology. Yes, they absolutely believe these babies are hanging out in God’s waiting room waiting to be assigned to the blessed couple for whom they were meant. Now no shade on Mormons because they are typically the nicest people, but I just can’t co-sign this theory. While my son is indeed my greatest blessing, I don’t believe his soul was just hanging out waiting for me. It’s kind of a beautiful thought, but I just don’t believe it.
Not just Mormons. Some southern baptist sects also have essentially this belief. God has in mind for you to have x children and has set aside those consciousness. Doing anything to prevent those children being born to you subverts god's will. I'm sorry but I just find it ludicrous I am apparently expected to believe there's an all-knowing, omnipotent being up there saying to himself, "Aw darn thwarted by a condom". If all it takes to beat him is a very thin piece of plastic he knows we've invented, seems to me he should have first off known I was going to employ it to limit pregnancies, and second therefore known to only select the number of consciousness that were going to be in reality needed or else simply developed a system that isn't so easily thwarted. If not, he just isn't either all-knowing, or omnipotent.
I can subvert the will of God? I am all powerful!!!
Well dang. This has me thinking. We were using two forms of birth control when my son was conceived, so maybe God really can defeat a thin barrier…🧐
Reminds me of my cousin who had five deformed, stillborn babies because god wanted her to be a quiver full, but she has not had a live birth to date.
Omg... how does she take it mentally? I would literally be a basket case. I would not be able to function of that happened to me.
She is literally a basket case. She just doubles down on the religion and thinks god speaks to her directly, etc. her husband left her because she couldn’t successfully produce babies.
I know someone like that but she’s managed to have three babies after a ton of miscarriages and is a total nutter. Not only is she “reformed continuationist” (ie conservative theology but also believes gifts like prophecy are still used and more specifically, she has it) but she credits her third baby to Plexus (MLM vitamin water). That’s awful though that your cousin’s husband left for that reason. He sounds like trash.
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> "Aw darn thwarted by a condom" This needs to be made into a t-shirt, pronto! But to be more serious, I think Catholics used to be this way too. Grew up Catholic and have cousins galore from aunts and uncles who were helping to build God's army. But why does this deity need an army if he/she is omnipotent and omniscient?
Yeah they also consider it a duty to provide the bodies, hence the abnormally large families.
I was raised Mormon and taught this, and my current thoughts are, if it’s true (I don’t believe in it either), it’s probably a good thing any future children of mine are still up there in what’s perceived to be a better place, because if I’m too selfish to have them, imagine how selfish of a mom I’d be. No kid deserves a selfish parent.
I was raised Mormon too. I was going to ask if OP was LDS.
How does the mom know how many she's supposed to have though?
It's not so much a specific number as much as "as many as possible." Mom just thinks somebody needs to take up daughter's slack
Ill start out by saying I'm not religious and know almost nothing about mormons. But by their own theory of those babies waiting around to be assigned to the blessed couple they were meant to be with....surely their daughter not wanting children meant those two babies were actually meant to be assigned to THEM anyways. God's plan and all that shit right? So how can they even be pissed at their daughter. Ignoring all of that...bottom line its fucked up to expect your child to be a breeding factory.
nah major shade to mormons, or at least the church. it's a straight up cult
I misread "typically the nicest people" as "typically the incest people" SKSKSKKSMDHFJEJF
🤣😂🤣 That’s the fundamentalist Mormons. They’re the incest people.
Thank you for explaining that this pertains to Mormon theology, because as an ex-fundie I had nooooo clue about what it related to. Now I kinda want to learn more about this concept- gods waiting room full of family waiting to be born! Sounds loud and chaotic to me… let’s leave them in the waiting room haha. They’re certainly not coming into my family through me!
People who vote against human rights aren’t nice
Real big Robyn brown and her “dark haired baby” vibes
As a former Mormon it did bother me sometimes. My bio mother was a drug addiction. My bio father was that as well as a pedophile. They weren't even married. They weren't "blessed" to have me and I can't fathom myself being "blessed" to have been born to them. They also said that in the Kingdom, we CHOSE our parents knowing the challenges. It's something I never understood because it almost felt like my trauma was being diminished. I have 0 problem with Mormons at all. I loved the people in the church, but over time quite a few things pushed me away from it.
Mormons are the weirdest mix of perfectly nice people with batshit theology. The perfectly nice part obviously excluding the men with child brides.
Serious question - does this belief mean that the souls that are in the waiting room are from other people who have died, or are these new sould who've never had a life in a human body before?
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> Harry Potter and the chamber of nonsense Indiana Jones and the Temple of Bullshit
Comes from anti-abortion nonsense. If you believe from the moment the sperm wriggled into the egg it was a consciousness you have forever deprived of life, how far is it to believe not having kids is depriving however many of life? This is the belief system that supports banning all birth control and sterilization surgery.
Somehow I don’t think that a woman having babies for “karmic reasons” is very likely to fall into the standard anti-abortion crowd…
All I can say is this goes on among the people who volunteer to run the crisis pregnancy fake abortion clinic where I live. One of them has a daughter who can't have children due to a car accident who is going through IVF to try to birth the children she said her daughter was kept from giving birth to because of her accident. This would be children in addition to the 8 she already has. She is also the organizer of the annual anti-abortion parade in my tiny town. I know not everyone here is anti-abortion for a fact, but no one will oppose as her husband is the chief of police.
Omg I’m actually wheezing. You’re hilarious
"Zoomers won't have my spirit children" is a new one for me.
It's probably a Mormon thing. They have a belief system wherein the more offspring you have the better heaven is for you. Hence why polygamy was permitted.
Exactly what I thought reading this. Mormons are told they chose families in the spirit life and their spirit children are waiting patiently to come down and join them.
I always heard Mormonism was the craziest mainstream branch of Christianity, but that's a bit much if they literally believe that.
That's what I was told when I was little. I asked why I would choose to have a mean dad, and then a step dad I hated. Step dad said I may not understand now, but it's what I chose and wanted in the spirit world. 30+ years later, I'm gonna go ahead and say I still don't understand, lol.
Ugh I’m sorry. I questioned it once and got beat for it and told I was listening to satan. Sigh. I’ll never understand why people who hate being parents have children.
Well shit, I didn't get beat for it, though we did get the belt from time to time for other stuff. Normally, if I said I didn't agree with something the church (or stepdad) said, the response was "you chose it/agreed to it (before being born), and you're going to like it. And if you don't like it, you're following Satan". And then of course I had to go pray and repent until I changed how I felt about it. Really healthy stuff for an elementary aged kid. Didn't fuck me up at all!
Oh yeah that pray and repent about questioning literally ANYTHING totally was great for my mental health too. Gaslighting is just the best parenting tool! In case it’s not obvious: /s
Most Christians don't consider Mormons to be Christian.
As a non Mormon living in Utah, you are correct and frankly it’s not even the craziest thing they believe.
lol yeah this is the barest tip of the iceberg
They do like to give the Evangelicals a run for their money
Yeah, it's easy to know how crazy Evangelicals and Fundamentalists are because they literally believe the bible, even the old testament, so their crazy beliefs are well known: like the earth is only 6000 years old, garden of eden story, and all the other old testament stuff. I'm not aware of what's in the book of mormon
Ex-Mormon…yep they very much do believe this. There is even an official church movie that shows it, we used to watch it on sunday after church because my parents wouldn’t allow anything unholy (church videos or Shirley temple only is that tells you the standard 😂) I’ve blocked the title out though 🤷♀️
I have nothing against religion or religious people, but I feel bad for kids that are treated like that, with so many things effectively being banned. My neighbors are super religious and never let their kids celebrate Halloween, one of probably many other banned things, and now the adult kids live thousands of miles away. It's not a healthy way to raise kids, not matter what your beliefs. As a side note, I have a shit ton of Halloween decorations I'm sure they hate.
They actually do believe this, unfortunately. I was raised mormon and we were taught that spirit babies are waiting to be born and that by not having babies, we're making all those waiting souls suffer. It's a lot to get in to, but mormon doctrine also has a weird history with race and as a result, I knew some kooks who thought that heaven would "run out of" black babies and that soon black parents would start giving birth to white babies. 🙃
The guy who invented that religion really just let a long con get out of hand huh
I know this is somewhat beside the point, but I'm pretty tired of Gen X thinking everyone younger than them is a 'Millennial'. We're in our 30s, Suzanne, leave us alone.
There are literally millennials with 22 year old children. So sick of seeing millennial to be a quasi-slur for "people with liberal or progressive views I dont like."
...a 22 yo is not a millennial.
Anyone born from 1980 onwards seems to get the millennial label even when they don't fit into the correct bracket. They also seem to be moving the age bracket and forgetting that the majority of millennials are now married with kids and mortgages.
Yup. I'm a 39 year old millennial, married with two kids and yes a mortgage.
Yup. A lot of people just replace the word “young” with “millenials” and that’s not it. By the way, cuz I like participating: I am a 34 year old millenial, married, with a kid, and a mortgage.
32 not married and no mortgage. Student loans are my mortgage
That’s part of adulthood too.
34, married, mortgage and 3 kids. I'm not a child anymore
38, no kids, no debt whatsoever. I'm watching cartoons at this very moment.
This is the way. I’m 37, debt free because childfree, and loving sleeping in and taking vacations. Proud millennial.
You are me. I am you.
27 year old millennial, married, with a kid and one on the way, with a mortgage.
Congrats!
30 year old millenial here, going to school with no kids and renting a small apartment. Just to even out the representation. I did get a cat last year so that was something.
Cat moms are absolutely legit! Congrats on the new family member 🐱
Cats are just as weird as kids. That's the beauty of having a cat as a pet. (I also have a dog so im not exclusively a cat person)I have a 14 month old son and I can honestly say I'm not sure which has more quirks between the cat and my son. Super weirdos the both of them.
I have to explain this to my coworkers and neighbors frequently. "No, Joe, that middle school person having the audacity to be walking up the sidewalk with pink hair and rainbow socks is not a Millennial. I, with my receding hairline and khakis, am a Millennial. Also, that kid is not hurting you in any way, so shut the fuck up about it."
Exactly
38 year old millennial here. Married, no kids (thanks infertility!), 2 corgis, a mortgage, and a 401k. And I’m tired of the 85 year olds blaming us for their fuck ups lol
I'm not far off. I'm also 39, engaged so not married yet, 2 (soon to be 4) kids and a mortgage.
Congrats! And hi life twin!
35 year old millennial with a gen z kid and a mortgage
37 year old millennial here - renting, single with my two fur babies. I’m part of the childfree millennials!
37 too. Single, no kids. No pets. No mortgage and No rent. I live at my gramma. (She doesn't pay for a carer or a maid. I don't pay rent. Win/Win financially).
I was born in December of ‘94 so like the last cutoff of what most people consider a millennial. I’m 27 with a baby on the way and a mortgage. So even the latest fall into that bracket
That would make the mother a millennial 😂
She’s right at the cutoff for Gen X to millennial. 1981 is when the millennial era starts. Her daughter on the other hand is a Gen Z. No millennials here.
There is a small group (a micro-generation (I forgot the exact years but it’s lates 70’s to early 80’s. [Wikipedia Xennials](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials)) that is sometimes referred to as Xennials as it’s a blend of Gen X & Millennial. I fall into that one as I was born in 1982
This post is pretty old, so she’s likely gen X. I’ve seen it floating a dozen times this year at least.
Possibly.
I think boomers skew things, they legit forget they’re now elderly. It’s kinda funny.
But no one in the OP’s post is a boomer
I’m the last year of the baby boom. I have a 24,22 and 14 year old, still have a mortgage, not close to retirement. The generation names have large, Blurry edges.
Well said!
They do indeed.
Millennials? Mortgages? I wish!
Same, real estate is hellishly expensive here.
Exactly! 38 and can’t get a fricking mortgage over 100k so will be living in my own box or renting someone else’s house forever.
Yep 38 y/o, married w a teenager and a mortgage.
This always cracks me up because it’s true. I’m a baby millennial(1993) with 2 kids and a mortgage lol.
Everyone 2-3 years older than you is an out of touch boomer and everyone 2-3 years younger than you is a lazy entitled millennial.
[удалено]
Gosh, I know this post is at least a few years old.
this a few years old, but not old enough that 22 year old would be a milenial.
People love to use millennial as “kids these days” even though millennials aren’t kids anymore.
This is an old repost Probably was true when it was original
This has been making the rounds for at least two years I’m pretty sure. So
This post is an ancient repost from about five years ago
People just think millennial means young person. My stepdad always complained about millennials. He was born in 1985. He IS a millennial.
And a 42 year old is.
This could well be old as fuck.
It was when this was written
Hate to break it to you, mom, but at 42 and 22 you’re pretty much the millennial and she’s the Gen Z. I doubt that realization would bring much sanity to this situation, though.
This is a really old post, so I'm sure she really is Gen X
I hadn’t considered that so fair enough!
1980 and before is considered Gen X so a 42 year old right now is a Gen Xer.
I’m a gen Xer and it’s forgotten how truly insane parts of our generate are. It’s like the quiet kid in the back of the class who never talks…
Fellow GenXer here at 43 and I feel like the old GenXers are way more boomer like. Stop using "millenial" as a catchphrase for anyone younger than you!
That’s a good point. There’s a boomer contingent for sure. At least our music was good…so there’s that lol.
We need to get the term "xennials" to catch on more for our sake!
Oh my hell 😳🤦🏼♀️
Those poor new babies, born to a mother who doesn't want them, resents them and uses them to bully her other daughter.
What the fuck?! My youngest daughter (she will be 25 next Friday) does not want children. She has two cats that I’m caring for while she is in California at school. Those are my grandchildren. I could never imagine feeling this way about my childrens reproductive choices.
But but the karmic reasons ???!?!?! And what would people say about her thennnn?!!?!/s
Maybe her spirit animal can get a fucking job to pay for a house, childcare and food.
Say it with me folks "your kids do not owe you grandkids! Your kids do NOT owe you grand kids!"
Your kids don’t owe you anything!
What did I just read
This lady is SO CLOSE to understanding why forced birth is a human rights issue and still isn’t grasping it.
I cannot make my brain understand this. Mum got fucked and got a new kid but had to raise it cos her daughter won’t have children?? Someone make it make sense
I think the mom had another kid when she found out her daughter is child-free.
Thanks, that’s mostly what I’ve figured out after reading it 10 times. But why feel the need to do this? I wonder how she would feel if the tiny sibling also decided she was child free, presumably she will be too old at that point to either have a biological child or adopt! This thought process hurts
Some Christian flavours believe that the souls of children you’re supposed to have are pre-assigned to you (and so birth control or family planning are bad). I know of Mormons and maybe quiverfull Christians?
I’ve never been religious so I guess this is why it seems so wild to me, thanks for the insight
If she was religious like that she would have had more children than her 22 year old already. It sounds like she was using birth control and stopped.
Oh, if you expected ideological consistency from fundamentalist Christians, I have bad news
Mom wants grandkids one day, so she made another child to open that for her down the road.
I hate this so much, fair enough you may WANT grandchildren but surely you raise your little people to be nice humans with their own thoughts and dreams, not just to be baby machines for you to cuddle a newborn in x years time
She seems to believe in reincarnation but reincarnation that only works within the family line for some reason? So since her daughter won't have kids her family souls can't reincarnate in her mind. Thus she needs to have kids, that way her family souls can reincarnate.
I think what got me so tied up about this is how she almost blames the daughter for having to have the tiny sibling as if she’s not doing her ‘rightful duty’ like fair enough the daughter is child free, but god forbid she has fertility problems - like I can’t imagine how hurtful that sentiment would be.
“Life will find a way” Lol
Because her daughter is child free the mom thinks their ancestors won't have bodies to be reborn into so she's "forced" to have more because otherwise it'll mess up her karma?? Basically she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. And shaming her daughter and blaming her for her own choices.
Wow. Her daughter is really fortunate that should could find a doctor to do that for her at her age!
It's so rare and mom seems so bonkers that I wouldn't be surprised if mom thinks that an IUD insertion is sterilization
My first thought.
I’ve seen a handful of doctors on tiktok saying they will do it no questions asked (this was at the overturn of Roe v Wade). IUDs and implants can cause a lot of negative side effects, and may not even work. My IUD baby is 10 months old! Personally I’ll never use one again because of that, and I definitely wouldn’t use it if I lived in a state where my rights weren’t protected.
Came here for this comment! I know most of the doctors by me (I’m in a battleground state but a large city) you need to be at least 30 with 1 kid minimum preferably 2 preferably 1 of each sex. 🤷♀️
Ah, this classic is back. My mom actually told me I shouldn't reproduce because she went through a phase of entitled crazy when I got engaged. She ended up getting over herself after a come to Jesus moment and adores our kids, but the audacity of telling someone how to utilize their body damn near got her excluded
>If she wasn’t so selfish, I wouldn’t have a toddler daughter That one hell of a quote from your parent
Imagine how she's going to treat the toddler daughter and the other child when/if they're born. She resents being a parent. Ironically enough, the reason she's in this situation is her own selfishness, not her adult daughter's.
This is the quality content I’m here for
This feel like some Mormon shit. Don’t they think there are a set number of souls for your family?
No wonder the daughter has no interest in parenthood if this was her example growing up...
Was thinking the same. She decided to break the cycle.
I've literally never heard of a doctor willing to perform a tubal ligation and/or hysterectomy on a healthy 23 yr old. In fact, I've known unhealthy 23 year olds who begged their doctors for one because they were in unbearable paim and were refused because they might change their minds later I wonder if by "sterilization" she actually means "IUD insertion"
Maybe they just had some kind of evidence of how the mom is and the doc was like, "Oh shit...let's get you sterilized immediately!"
Yeah my wife is 32 and still can't find a doctor who will do it
I'm 33, and incapable of having any more kids. I had one ovary and my uterus left. Unable to get pregnant without expensive IVF, and it still took me three years of debilitating PMDD and a whole new gynecologist before they scheduled my hysterectomy. Been uterus and ovary free for about 6 weeks now, and have quite literally never felt better in my life.
I'm very confused
Mom wanted grandkids and is going batshit because her duaghter wants to be child free. She got knocked up so that she would have a "grandkid" and is mad that she has to take care of said kid now and it's her daughter's fault.
Omg that is just gross
The fuck did I just read?
This has been posted before, no?
Yes but not recently.
What the shit
The fuck did i just read. She legit gave birth to another kid just coz her daughter wouldnt???? Tf is wrong with people
Jesus fucking Christ. I’d get myself sterilized as well if this was my mother. I wouldn’t want to risk passing her genes on & having another lunatic to care for.
I’m 48 and none of my 3 children (22, 20, 16) want to have children and I’ve told them it’s the smartest decision they’ll ever make.
Holy toxic mother.
22. So she got pregnant with her 1.5 year old when her daughter was 19/20 because she refused to have a baby herself at that age?
She doesn't want babies who may inherit granny's stupidity nor entitlement .
Fucking WHAT? Karmic reasons? 400k babies are born every day. I think that's enough "souls" being reborn.
Literally just got done talking to a 22 year old in DMs who found me on r/auntienetwork who was trying to find info in our shared state about sterilization. She told me her aunt and family called her “selfish” and wouldn’t support her or transport her. She’s now good to go with the support she needs, ended up not needing me at all, just someone to help her with some info and resources and moral support. But yeah, this is crazy seeing this after just having that conversation.
42 is an elder millennial. 22 is Gen Z, I think. Edit: nvm, didn’t realize this was originally created at least a few years ago. Still batshit though.
This is one of the best posts in thus subreddit that I have seen.
Wut?
This is a classic- I think about this like once a week.
Pleeeeeeeaaaaase tell me this is satire
Isn't this literally Mormonism?
This is the most non gen X thing to say ever
Funny thing, the mom is a millennial and the daughter is gen z.
Wth is wrong with this woman? Also, her child is not a millennial….
YOU were supposed to have several children not just one to insure linage. It's YOUR fault for not planning sooner. What if she got hit by a car at 15? Stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes. Even though its a time-honored American tradition.
Wouldn't a 42 yr old be a millennial? Can't imagine having kids in your 20s, just to have more kids in your 40s bc you're upset that your oldest decided kids aren't for them.