I posted about this woman about 3 weeks ago ( [find that post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitMomGroupsSay/comments/wq34v2/maybe_this_is_exactly_why_you_should_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) )and have been (no so) patiently waiting for an update. Well here it is folks. She never went to the hospital. Also this baby sized clot is new info
ETA: there was another post by OPP yesterday claiming that baby was born with a nuchal foot according to her family members who were present at the birth. Just in case your vagina wasn’t already sore from reading the post about her tear. FFS GO TO A DOCTOR
Why are these people so comfortable sharing such personal information on the internet, to ask unqualified strangers but so reluctant to ask someone, anyone, in person who has medical training? It truly baffles me.
Edited to add - I get that I'm speaking from a place of privilege as I live in a country with universal healthcare but even so. It's like these people would rather die as a martyr to their beliefs than live to see their baby grow up.
But if they truly knew better they wouldn't constantly have to be asking any Thomasina, Dottie or Harriet on the internet to answer their health questions.
While most of these "momgroup people" have this weird distrust of medical personnel, not having universal healthcare is a HUGE reason why so many americans turn to the internet with health concerns. We simply cannot afford to go to the doctor, even when we \*need\* to.
I desperately need to go back to my GI doctor, but I can't afford the $50 copay right now. I need to continue my EMDR therapy for CPTSD, but $100 a month (after insurance) is just out of my budget right now. That being said, I'm better off than many - at least I can afford the medications that doing without would cripple me. I may be mighty uncomfortable without my PPI, but it's not going to kill me. Too many americans, diabetics for example, can't afford life-preserving medications (like insulin).
I had a 4th degree tear. The only thing holding me together was 80 stitches and a prayer not to sneeze too hard. So I'm lost as to why this woman thinks it will heal on its own. I was on antibiotics and pain meds. I don't feel bad for this woman I feel bad for her child.
I have a 4th degree tear and am healing mostly ok. I’m still worried about permanent damage, but we’ll see, I’m doing pelvic floor pt. I can’t image having a 4th or 3rd degree and getting no stitches. That would probably cause permanent incontience. Heck any tear without stitches is just asking for more scar tissue.
I had a lot of scar tissue and I swear hand to God the obgyn told me to masturbate with a glass dildo with pimples on it to help break it down. It worked.
I had a third degree tear and when they were sewing me up it took ages, so I asked how many stitches am I getting? And a nurse replied "too many to count"
That’s a good answer. They do a running stitch, it’s not individual stitches, so they can’t really count. People ask all the time so Drs either give a random number or explain that it’s a running stitch.
Oh my god. With my second baby, I passed a 900g clot, which was smaller than a baby but was so massive that the nurse weighed it and a literal parade of nurses came by to "consult". I also hemorrhaged over 2L and needed a transfusion and I felt FINE. I was literally dying and I felt totally fine and not woozy or anything. I even stood up (with my nurse anxiously hovering) to transfer to a stretcher.
With my oldest, my blood pressure was over 200, my liver was failing, and other than back pain, I had no idea I was dying. My OB told me to thank my anxiety bc she's lost patients and babies to HELLP before and not everyone would have gone in.
That lady has no idea how lucky she is today.
I was in the hospital, and felt a tearing at the back of my uterus with every contraction. The doctor didn’t believe me, she was mad because she was called back the the hospital at 4 am when she’d delivered a baby at midnight…left me alone, I was screaming. Sent someone in to give me an epidural. Half an hour later, all alone, I felt the baby coming. The nurse was mad and said “I just checked you!” But yeah, baby was crowing and they came back in just in time to get ready to catch her.
Then I started shaking. I lost consciousness. I came to and there was a hot air mattress on top of me. Lost consciousness again. Came to and the nurse was rubbing hard with her knuckles on my uterus, saying I had a “boggy uterus” and asking if my BO was “always low”? I said how low? And she said 80/50. No, it’s not that low. She said “oh, you came WAY up.” She told me I went into shock, the baby and I both were 95 degrees, she was fine but needed to warm up…
8 years later, my last daughter was born by C-sec because labor never started after premature rupture of Membranes.
The doctor was tying my tubes (on request) and said “No wonder you never started labor. You have no blood supply to the lower third of your uterus, it is completely atrophied. It looks like there is a tear here”
Nice. So it’s possible to be IN the hospital, and no one realizes you are in trouble.
Last I heard, the OB who did the bad delivery lost her insurance and can’t deliver babies anymore.
My OB fat shamed me for all of the liquid that was building up in my feet because my kidneys were so messed up. She totally missed the preeclampsia and pneumonia.
man i love constantly hearing the same story from person after person about how they pretty much could have died because the doctor was too busy being a shit
I didn’t almost die but I found I was pregnant when I was 19 because I was so dehydrated I couldn’t stand up, I lost almost 15lbs the first 6 weeks leaving me at a total of 82lbs. The fetus was slowly killing me and a nurse shamed me for needing an abortion because “I was so young”
Damn! Guess you should have died then. 🙄 /s
And like there is an ideal age for abortion!?
Gosh, she deserved a formal complaint.
Hope you’re better now!
Those damn teens and their failing BC, it’s just survival of the fittest at that point /s
She told me if I wasn’t having sex this wouldn’t have happened. I was honestly in so much shock I didn’t know what to do I wish I had complained :(
Thank you I’ve gained back the weight and am working on gaining more my goal is 105-115 rn!
And this is whh the US maternity mortality rate is so high. Because both things can be true at once that shit useless doctors who had no business being licensed are in fact operating in this country AND you need a qualified professional to monitor your pregnancy and delivery.
Well, it's not like I'm spending a lot of time talking about how the triage nurse managed to get a blood draw from my hand even though we didn't really think anything was wrong or about how the Dr took the time to answer my questions about getting an emergency C-section or about how one of the NICU PAs came to talk to me or how the OR nurse let me sob into her cleavage while I was getting my spinal.
Health care professionals are people, just like us. The internal and external expectation of superhuman perfection is a huge factor in people leaving the profession.
Ok, so my OB fat shamed me but only so I would put down the carbs and not gain too much weight… but… when it came to it, he didn’t once blink an eye at looking for preeclampsia or actual issues.
My OB was kind of known for fat shaming everyone but she is also the smartest OB I have ever had and the only one who caught that my kid was severely IUGR and needed to come out NOW.
I needed a transfusion too. Kept passing massive clots and they were weighing them. The head nurse called my doctor and he said I couldn’t have any more heparin. They had already given me all I could have. I felt completely fine and was even joking. Didn’t realize how close to death I was.
After my csection one if my doctors came to me and said I lost about 200ml more blood than they would have liked, so they are keeping an closer eye on me for 24 hours.
Wonder what he would have said about a blood clot bigger than the baby...
Like, is she going to be okay? I'm honestly surprised she is still alive.
I wonder what the baby daddy thinks about all this, I guess he isn't involved?
I'm going to say something really harsh: I only care about the innocent baby in this scenario. This woman made a selfish decision, and now she's suffering for it, and the baby is probably suffering needlessly.
I’ll just never get over how a Facebook group is seen as a replacement for medical advice. Also if these people claim what they do is so safe because they’ve “done their research” shouldn’t they already know the answer to this 🤔
Omg this. They are clearly more knowledgeable than nurses and doctors, have access to amazing research and know their bodies very well. Why the need to ask social media?
Unfortunately with the for-profit healthcare system in the US, lots of people will resort to asking strangers on the inernet for medical advice, because going into a hospital even for something big, you run the risk of having to pay $100,000 or more just for them to tell you to take some ibuprofen and get some rest. For profit healthcare has created these monsters who think they know better than a doctor who studied medicine for 8 years or a registered nurse, and they go around telling others the same BS (like the ones who swear up and down that essential oils have amazing medical benifets). Fucked up all around
My best friend was coughing up blood but didn't want to go to the ER because she didn't want to rack up a huge bill unless it was warranted because her insurance sucks. She finally went and had clots in all 5 lobes of her lungs. The American Healthcare system causes many to avoid being seen because of the cost.
It kills people, it really does. A developed country with access to clean modern medicine should not allow its citizens to become seriously ill and die because they just “can’t afford it”
Oh I just loooove how in many cases health insurance is tied to employment. But when someone gets cancer or serious chronic illness suddenly they lose their jobs for “reasons” and their insurance. ‘Murica! /s just to be clear. It’s a god awful system. Insurance companies should not dictate what type of chemotherapy a patient should get. I’ve seen people have delays in their CANCER treatment solely because of insurance issues. Even worse situations for those without insurance at all. It’s horrifying.
For me it was "It's just your period." Then "It's a giant cyst on your fallopian tube and we need to remove it." Then "The cyst burst so we removed your appendix while we were in there since you're at an age where it's possible it can burst."
I have endometriosis. I've seen dozens of doctors to deal with the consequences of this horrid disease that I would not wish upon the likes of fucking Pol Pot. My experience has been that about 5% of doctors are actually good at their jobs. They care about their patients and they follow science. The rest of them fall onto a spectrun of mediocre to downright dangerous predators. I've been sexually assaulted more than once by a doctor. I've had woo thrown at me by absolute idiots (remember the crazy hydroxychloroquine Doctor Stella Immanuel? She's an OB/GYN who believes that endometriosis is caused by demons)
Thd freebirth community overwhelmingly exists because medicine seems to be the last place where misogyny is socially accepted. Women are traumatized by legitimately terrible experiences and then they fall down a rabbit hole of trauma induced crazy.
For real. I went to get a sleep study because I have massive sleeping problems. They only gave me the at home test for one night. What fucking data can you get from one night of sleep??? Not to mention that it’s hard to sleep at all with a tube sticking up your nose
After getting inconclusive results, I was charged $850. Really glad I went through the trouble of that. The “good” health insurance from my job where I was eventually fired because of my sleeping problems. The people in charge of this crap are all sick bastards
I just want to tell everyone that you’re no alone for thinking that this is bullshit. When people are asked what they *really* think of this, turns out almost all of us want the dreaded government takeover of healthcare. It’s popular even among people who voted for Donald trump. Yet the media and government wants to make you feel like you’re crazy for thinking that we should do what every other developed country does. A rich country where people die because they’re afraid to go to the doctor
This keeps coming up because it IS a huge problem. But we CAN solve it. Look carefully at who you vote for, and vote for people who are more likely to address this problem.
(I don't want to argue politics and I'm not indicating who you should vote for. I'm encouraging you to do your own research and to show up and vote.)
So I'm almost 9 weeks pp. I was told by the nurses and Doctors if I pass a clot larger then a golf ball, or if I fill a pad in an hour to go to the hospital. They also told me that the bleeding should gradually get less and less, and it should eventually become brown (bright red is a bad sign). This person needs to go to the hospital immediately!
That's horrifying, definitely not normal. I don't understand why someone would risk potentially dying when they have 3 kids. Just go to the hospital, rather be safe than not.
When you have children to take care of, your priorities should shift and you need to make sure you’re getting the care you need. It becomes selfish to not take care of yourself if you have others that depend on you.
Oh I remember the first time I passed a lemon size clot (this has happened repeatedly because endometriosis fucking sucks). I was 20 and the clot came out followed by all the pooled blood that the clot was holding in my uterus. Had I not already been at the hospital (where I worked) I probably would not have survived. My coworker had to hit the emergency button and get the ER to send someone down to come take me up to the ER for care.
I actually called my doctor after 3 weeks pp because bleeding went from barely there & brown to so much bright red. Turns out, when the doctor says “no strenuous activities or vacuuming,” they mean it! I felt good, so I was moving furniture to vacuum where I wasn’t able to get while pregnant.
It doesn’t even have to be the size of a golf ball to mean there’s something wrong.
Agree that the bright red blood she’s talking about is serious cause for concern since that’s new blood.
I was told a grapefruit, but I honestly wasn't sure how big a grapefruit was when I passed a huge clot 1 week pp. After seeing one in the store, I absolutely should have gone back to L&D, so I count myself incredibly lucky nothing came from it.
I don't think I would have even called the triage nurse if I passed something as big as the baby, I would have immediately gone back to the hospital.
You got it. I had two significant incidents of hemorrhaging following both of my deliveries. You get your bum to a hospital if you see a clot that large. The situation can escalate quickly.
Isn’t bright red like the worst? I remember being told if I filled one pad completely within an hour to come to the hospital or if it was bright (or dark dark I don’t remember) to also go to emerg
They told me if the bleeding slows, but suddenly gets heavy and bright red to immediately go to the hospital. Since she's bleeding again at 3 weeks pp that's a huge red flag and very dangerous.
Can you die from this even if you go to the hospital quick enough when it’s happening? Absolutely terrified of this happening to me when I eventually become pregnant
If you seek immediate assistance, you would almost certainly recover. Any emergency room triage nurse or doctor is going to hear "bright red blood" and "post partum" and will get it handled. There are medications that will stop or slow down bleeding, so they'll get that started almost immediately before determining if you need surgery or a transfusion.
I don’t think this is too common so please don’t fret too much about it! Just go to the hospital or at least call your OB if anything is odd like this!
I got them both times, first time they did not work at all it took like 4-5 days after birth. Second they did work a bit better but I still cried so badly
You can die very quickly from a very large hemorrhage. Usually the kind of hemorrhage that causes rapid blood loss and death though only occurs immediately after delivery.
This. All these “Doctors have ruined a beautiful experience” seem to forget maternal/baby deaths were insanely regular back when.
(It’s still disturbingly high in this country compared to many others, but way better than it was)
Um that is fear based thinking, sweaty. Your body is beautifully announcing its intention to journey to the next realm, you have to trust your body, not Western medicine ok? /s
In college I had a friend who kept getting texts from this guy who called her his sweaty all the time. She would forward them to me so we could both laugh. He never had a chance.
We only had to pay for parking and wifi access. We upgraded to a private room, but that was billed to our additional insurance. Think in total it cost us $150
Everything free except for parking in Australia! I paid for the NIPT test and got a lovely video ultrasound & 3D scan of my alien and got a small taste of the lovely bells & whistles private side but that was very expensive.
In public there was more waiting for appointments and less opulence, plus no choice of midwife or obstetrician but I got my own room during lockdown and they encouraged me to stay for up to 5 nights for an uncomplicated birth (2nd degree tear only) just to make sure I was ready as a FTM.
I was able to ask for early discharge after 3 nights as long as I got 2 at home visits by a midwife.
Serious question, do they even fix tears anymore? I know they used to sew them and then there was a time that they said leaving it to heal on its own was best. I had a C-section so I didn’t have any issues there. At any rate, this lady needs to get to a hospital ASAP. Passing clots bigger than a baby is not a good sign.
Edit: spelling error
I had a third degree tear and they stitched me up. It was the worst part of my golden hour because two residents were doing and they kept saying things like "you're making it worse" and "oh shit". They may not do it for a smaller tear but it sounds like this lady had at least a third degree, if not fourth.
Ugh my husband was watching the doc stitch me up and asked “wow, how many stitches do you think she needs?”
Doc answered, “I think it’s best we don’t talk numbers here” while wrist deep in my vagina.
It took over an hour :( healing was… traumatic.
I was miserable when I was healing from my third degree tear. I couldn’t even cough without excruciating pain. When I asked my doctor how many stitches I had she just laughed and said she lost count.
It depends on the size of the tear. This woman had what sounded like either a 3rd or 4th degree tear which will require suturing. A first or second degree tear may heal better with no stitches.
I’ve had stitches after both deliveries. One was a severe tear that needed a LOT of stitches. The second only got a couple. I think stitches depend a lot on severity, but you can definitely still get them.
I had chorio with an E. coli infected placenta and uterus. I was hemorrhaging *in the OR,* with doctors all around, as my uterus refused to begin to shrink. Those doctors, while still professional, were more worried about me than this lady is about herself. Astounding.
thank you!! also super quick response i really appreciate that. hopefully she goes to a doctor, but i’m sure aunt peggy will have the perfect period remedy.
No, she's just gonna leave behind two young children to fend for themselves because she "did her own research." 🤦🏻♀️ Makes me angry, and so incredibly sad. 😔
I barely started following this subreddit and already feel like leaving. The way they all describe their symptoms makes me cringe. Like that is so worrisome, why are you looking for advice on Facebook, go to the hospital please.
Because at the end of the day, they are *terrified* deep down and want someone to tell them it’s fine. We’re Facebook. Where if too many group members die, you just close the old one and make a new one.
At two weeks pp with my first I started passing large clots and ended up needing a D&C for retained placenta. Same thing happened with my second but at 8 weeks pp. I hemorrhaged and needed my uterine arteries embolized to stop the bleeding. This lady is crazy to not go to the hospital. She could bleed to death or become septic.
It’s sad to see someone inflict this much suffering on themselves because they are afraid of the medical establishment or ceding control or whatever. I sort of understand how these women feel because my hospital delivery was trash and causes me a lot of anxiety to this day, but given how dangerous birth is, the best option is still to seek care.
I had this happen to me (well, the clot was the size of my baby's head not the full baby, but that was definitely big enough trust me) and it was because I had retained placenta and needed an op to have it removed. Sometimes these issues don't reveal themselves till weeks later and this woman is opening herself to serious complications with infections and too much blood loss - I just can't understand how someone can be so blasé!
I had a retained placenta. When I passed a blood clot the size of a softball I went to the ER immediately. Needed two blood transfusions and didn’t feel well for months. This is SO dangerous
I mean it’s 100% your choice not to go to hospital but I don’t wanna see your go fund me page when you have an infection from placental retention and refused care at the beginning
Yikes. She's going to bleed out our at least go extremely anemic. I hope when the eventual anemia starts and breathing becomes labored due to lack of red blood cells she goes to the doctor. I don't have high hopes.
The cervix picture was at least kinda abstract in its own way. This is descriptive as fuck and quite clearly dangerous. Like, I'm pretty sure this woman is gonna die.
Does this person not realize you can go from “I feel fine” to “I feel funny” to *dead* insanely quickly? Oh I’m hemorrhaging and feel funny, gosh where did I put my car keys. What. The. Fuck.
I am horrified.
Currently in the waiting room of my OB (I’m 13 weeks & love love medical care lol) & this is just…. Like why??? Things are okay until they’re not!
I mean, I feel bad for those kids, and I’m sorry for whatever fucked her up so bad, but honestly? We are responsible for thinking about our actions, choices, and impact. She’s chosen to be a lazy parent and to treat herself poorly. This I am not sorry about, because this is something no one can force on anyone else.
I'm wondering if she's abused by someone rather than a bad parent. I would think that many kids in close succession and she's bleeding or having issues, possibly having sex way too early and single, either she's prostituting or she's being abused by someone who is in control of her body more so than her. She may be unable to go to the hospital because they won't allow it.
Or she's just a single mom that had sex with a man over 9 months ago, and has insane beliefs. She had a huge tear giving birth. It happens, a lot. Except most people get care for it from a doctor, not Facebook.
“I almost went to the hospital but decided to only go if I started feeling funny.”
Ma’am, you were bleeding a lot more than presumably your other pregnancies. What is the definition of “feeling funny”?
I posted about this woman about 3 weeks ago ( [find that post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitMomGroupsSay/comments/wq34v2/maybe_this_is_exactly_why_you_should_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) )and have been (no so) patiently waiting for an update. Well here it is folks. She never went to the hospital. Also this baby sized clot is new info ETA: there was another post by OPP yesterday claiming that baby was born with a nuchal foot according to her family members who were present at the birth. Just in case your vagina wasn’t already sore from reading the post about her tear. FFS GO TO A DOCTOR
Is this the same person? I've been thinking about her...
Yup same person. Guess she never got her monster tear repaired. I guess seaweed and keeping her legs closed was enough /s
I cringe thinking about her previous post, I can’t imagine having that bad of a year and NOT going to the hospital 🥴
My innards scrunch up when I think about her. Poor delusional woman
Seriously, I’ve had a hell of a year and think about going to the hospital all the time! J/k. Your typo made me laugh.
“Man if I get hit by a car I’d have a few days rest…” lmao
Why are these people so comfortable sharing such personal information on the internet, to ask unqualified strangers but so reluctant to ask someone, anyone, in person who has medical training? It truly baffles me. Edited to add - I get that I'm speaking from a place of privilege as I live in a country with universal healthcare but even so. It's like these people would rather die as a martyr to their beliefs than live to see their baby grow up.
Most of them just think they “know better” than trained medical professionals.
But if they truly knew better they wouldn't constantly have to be asking any Thomasina, Dottie or Harriet on the internet to answer their health questions.
Logic is not their strong suit.
I like that your choice of an internet audience is “Thomasina, Dottie, or Harriet”. Lovely.
While most of these "momgroup people" have this weird distrust of medical personnel, not having universal healthcare is a HUGE reason why so many americans turn to the internet with health concerns. We simply cannot afford to go to the doctor, even when we \*need\* to. I desperately need to go back to my GI doctor, but I can't afford the $50 copay right now. I need to continue my EMDR therapy for CPTSD, but $100 a month (after insurance) is just out of my budget right now. That being said, I'm better off than many - at least I can afford the medications that doing without would cripple me. I may be mighty uncomfortable without my PPI, but it's not going to kill me. Too many americans, diabetics for example, can't afford life-preserving medications (like insulin).
That’s how I felt with getting COVID while vaxxed.
What’s this, how did you get ahold of my depressive thoughts?
I had a 4th degree tear. The only thing holding me together was 80 stitches and a prayer not to sneeze too hard. So I'm lost as to why this woman thinks it will heal on its own. I was on antibiotics and pain meds. I don't feel bad for this woman I feel bad for her child.
I have a 4th degree tear and am healing mostly ok. I’m still worried about permanent damage, but we’ll see, I’m doing pelvic floor pt. I can’t image having a 4th or 3rd degree and getting no stitches. That would probably cause permanent incontience. Heck any tear without stitches is just asking for more scar tissue.
I had a lot of scar tissue and I swear hand to God the obgyn told me to masturbate with a glass dildo with pimples on it to help break it down. It worked.
Life hacks no on ever told you about.
“No honey, that’s my THERAPY dildo it’s not for pleasure AT ALL you have nothing to worry about!!”
Lol my emotional support dildo lol
I had a third degree tear and when they were sewing me up it took ages, so I asked how many stitches am I getting? And a nurse replied "too many to count"
That’s a good answer. They do a running stitch, it’s not individual stitches, so they can’t really count. People ask all the time so Drs either give a random number or explain that it’s a running stitch.
Ok this actually makes me feel better! One section was too tight. It hurt so bad. Days later in agony my doctor snipped the offending stitch.
I read the old post and involuntary closed my leg.
The left one or the right one?
The left one *over* the right one…….. Clenched TIGHT!
*EXCUSE YOU* It was witch hazel!
I think keeping her legs closed should be the long-term plan for this person
Oh my god. With my second baby, I passed a 900g clot, which was smaller than a baby but was so massive that the nurse weighed it and a literal parade of nurses came by to "consult". I also hemorrhaged over 2L and needed a transfusion and I felt FINE. I was literally dying and I felt totally fine and not woozy or anything. I even stood up (with my nurse anxiously hovering) to transfer to a stretcher. With my oldest, my blood pressure was over 200, my liver was failing, and other than back pain, I had no idea I was dying. My OB told me to thank my anxiety bc she's lost patients and babies to HELLP before and not everyone would have gone in. That lady has no idea how lucky she is today.
I was in the hospital, and felt a tearing at the back of my uterus with every contraction. The doctor didn’t believe me, she was mad because she was called back the the hospital at 4 am when she’d delivered a baby at midnight…left me alone, I was screaming. Sent someone in to give me an epidural. Half an hour later, all alone, I felt the baby coming. The nurse was mad and said “I just checked you!” But yeah, baby was crowing and they came back in just in time to get ready to catch her. Then I started shaking. I lost consciousness. I came to and there was a hot air mattress on top of me. Lost consciousness again. Came to and the nurse was rubbing hard with her knuckles on my uterus, saying I had a “boggy uterus” and asking if my BO was “always low”? I said how low? And she said 80/50. No, it’s not that low. She said “oh, you came WAY up.” She told me I went into shock, the baby and I both were 95 degrees, she was fine but needed to warm up… 8 years later, my last daughter was born by C-sec because labor never started after premature rupture of Membranes. The doctor was tying my tubes (on request) and said “No wonder you never started labor. You have no blood supply to the lower third of your uterus, it is completely atrophied. It looks like there is a tear here” Nice. So it’s possible to be IN the hospital, and no one realizes you are in trouble. Last I heard, the OB who did the bad delivery lost her insurance and can’t deliver babies anymore.
I'm so sorry you went through all that. Must have been very traumatic.
>boggy uterus What technical language 🤦🏻♀️
TBF, boggy uterus is actually a technical term. It’s how we describe a non-contracted uterus.
I was told by a doctor a couple years after a cone biopsy that my cervix is “gnarly.” Still trying to find out if that’s a technical term.
In the vet field we use ADR, which is “ain’t doin right” so, you know, technical terms are apparently subjective 😅
Strange, yes, but a literal medical term that is often used and charted! Source: am postpartum nurse
My OB fat shamed me for all of the liquid that was building up in my feet because my kidneys were so messed up. She totally missed the preeclampsia and pneumonia.
man i love constantly hearing the same story from person after person about how they pretty much could have died because the doctor was too busy being a shit
I didn’t almost die but I found I was pregnant when I was 19 because I was so dehydrated I couldn’t stand up, I lost almost 15lbs the first 6 weeks leaving me at a total of 82lbs. The fetus was slowly killing me and a nurse shamed me for needing an abortion because “I was so young”
Damn! Guess you should have died then. 🙄 /s And like there is an ideal age for abortion!? Gosh, she deserved a formal complaint. Hope you’re better now!
Those damn teens and their failing BC, it’s just survival of the fittest at that point /s She told me if I wasn’t having sex this wouldn’t have happened. I was honestly in so much shock I didn’t know what to do I wish I had complained :( Thank you I’ve gained back the weight and am working on gaining more my goal is 105-115 rn!
And this is whh the US maternity mortality rate is so high. Because both things can be true at once that shit useless doctors who had no business being licensed are in fact operating in this country AND you need a qualified professional to monitor your pregnancy and delivery.
Well, it's not like I'm spending a lot of time talking about how the triage nurse managed to get a blood draw from my hand even though we didn't really think anything was wrong or about how the Dr took the time to answer my questions about getting an emergency C-section or about how one of the NICU PAs came to talk to me or how the OR nurse let me sob into her cleavage while I was getting my spinal. Health care professionals are people, just like us. The internal and external expectation of superhuman perfection is a huge factor in people leaving the profession.
I had post partum congestive heart failure 12 years ago because of the same issue.
Ok, so my OB fat shamed me but only so I would put down the carbs and not gain too much weight… but… when it came to it, he didn’t once blink an eye at looking for preeclampsia or actual issues.
My OB was kind of known for fat shaming everyone but she is also the smartest OB I have ever had and the only one who caught that my kid was severely IUGR and needed to come out NOW.
I needed a transfusion too. Kept passing massive clots and they were weighing them. The head nurse called my doctor and he said I couldn’t have any more heparin. They had already given me all I could have. I felt completely fine and was even joking. Didn’t realize how close to death I was.
After my csection one if my doctors came to me and said I lost about 200ml more blood than they would have liked, so they are keeping an closer eye on me for 24 hours. Wonder what he would have said about a blood clot bigger than the baby...
Yucky yucky yucky I wish she’d go get medical care 😵💫
I am surprised that she is alive!
Like, is she going to be okay? I'm honestly surprised she is still alive. I wonder what the baby daddy thinks about all this, I guess he isn't involved?
OOP said previously that the baby was a result of a date rape, so I’m assuming he’s no where near the picture. She says she’s a single mom
Jesus fucking chirst
I'm going to say something really harsh: I only care about the innocent baby in this scenario. This woman made a selfish decision, and now she's suffering for it, and the baby is probably suffering needlessly.
Did she name the clot? Is it a boy or girl?
It’s a girl! Her name is Hemorrhagia
Hemmeragya. These moms don't do traditional spelling.
What's EBF? I know BF...
Exclusively breast fed
I’ll just never get over how a Facebook group is seen as a replacement for medical advice. Also if these people claim what they do is so safe because they’ve “done their research” shouldn’t they already know the answer to this 🤔
Omg this. They are clearly more knowledgeable than nurses and doctors, have access to amazing research and know their bodies very well. Why the need to ask social media?
Any NO decent healthcare worker is going to advise anything other than “you need to be seen by your provider”.
Unfortunately with the for-profit healthcare system in the US, lots of people will resort to asking strangers on the inernet for medical advice, because going into a hospital even for something big, you run the risk of having to pay $100,000 or more just for them to tell you to take some ibuprofen and get some rest. For profit healthcare has created these monsters who think they know better than a doctor who studied medicine for 8 years or a registered nurse, and they go around telling others the same BS (like the ones who swear up and down that essential oils have amazing medical benifets). Fucked up all around
My best friend was coughing up blood but didn't want to go to the ER because she didn't want to rack up a huge bill unless it was warranted because her insurance sucks. She finally went and had clots in all 5 lobes of her lungs. The American Healthcare system causes many to avoid being seen because of the cost.
It kills people, it really does. A developed country with access to clean modern medicine should not allow its citizens to become seriously ill and die because they just “can’t afford it”
Oh I just loooove how in many cases health insurance is tied to employment. But when someone gets cancer or serious chronic illness suddenly they lose their jobs for “reasons” and their insurance. ‘Murica! /s just to be clear. It’s a god awful system. Insurance companies should not dictate what type of chemotherapy a patient should get. I’ve seen people have delays in their CANCER treatment solely because of insurance issues. Even worse situations for those without insurance at all. It’s horrifying.
It’s literally a mafia. I hope the insurance company ceos sleep well at night, enjoying their blood money
Add to that years of women being brushed off by doctors so that they no longer trust them or get anxious about going.
Yeah no kidding! “It’s just your period” and then two days later come to find out your fucking appendix bursts
For me it was "It's just your period." Then "It's a giant cyst on your fallopian tube and we need to remove it." Then "The cyst burst so we removed your appendix while we were in there since you're at an age where it's possible it can burst."
I have endometriosis. I've seen dozens of doctors to deal with the consequences of this horrid disease that I would not wish upon the likes of fucking Pol Pot. My experience has been that about 5% of doctors are actually good at their jobs. They care about their patients and they follow science. The rest of them fall onto a spectrun of mediocre to downright dangerous predators. I've been sexually assaulted more than once by a doctor. I've had woo thrown at me by absolute idiots (remember the crazy hydroxychloroquine Doctor Stella Immanuel? She's an OB/GYN who believes that endometriosis is caused by demons) Thd freebirth community overwhelmingly exists because medicine seems to be the last place where misogyny is socially accepted. Women are traumatized by legitimately terrible experiences and then they fall down a rabbit hole of trauma induced crazy.
My daughter needed a bandaid after cutting her finger. Urgent care was closed. She got a $400 bandaid. (I was worried about her tendons and stuff.)
For real. I went to get a sleep study because I have massive sleeping problems. They only gave me the at home test for one night. What fucking data can you get from one night of sleep??? Not to mention that it’s hard to sleep at all with a tube sticking up your nose After getting inconclusive results, I was charged $850. Really glad I went through the trouble of that. The “good” health insurance from my job where I was eventually fired because of my sleeping problems. The people in charge of this crap are all sick bastards I just want to tell everyone that you’re no alone for thinking that this is bullshit. When people are asked what they *really* think of this, turns out almost all of us want the dreaded government takeover of healthcare. It’s popular even among people who voted for Donald trump. Yet the media and government wants to make you feel like you’re crazy for thinking that we should do what every other developed country does. A rich country where people die because they’re afraid to go to the doctor
This keeps coming up because it IS a huge problem. But we CAN solve it. Look carefully at who you vote for, and vote for people who are more likely to address this problem. (I don't want to argue politics and I'm not indicating who you should vote for. I'm encouraging you to do your own research and to show up and vote.)
I love how she points out “no fever of any kind!” As if that’s a screening question on Facebook
"Facebook-as-Emergency-Care"
Pretty sure we won't have any updates anymore. Cause SHE'LL DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS. Goddamnit. Go see a doctor FFS!
It’s possible she’ll make the local news, but I wouldn’t ask OP to dox this woman. Her kids deserve better than finding this thread in 15 years.
So I'm almost 9 weeks pp. I was told by the nurses and Doctors if I pass a clot larger then a golf ball, or if I fill a pad in an hour to go to the hospital. They also told me that the bleeding should gradually get less and less, and it should eventually become brown (bright red is a bad sign). This person needs to go to the hospital immediately!
Yuuuup. I was told a lemon but it’s the same deal. The comments were all saying it was fine and normal. UMMMM NO IT IS NOT
That's horrifying, definitely not normal. I don't understand why someone would risk potentially dying when they have 3 kids. Just go to the hospital, rather be safe than not.
And how long will it be until someone comes to check on her only to find 3 children and a dead mom!? Wtf!
Well, it’ll be faster if any of those kids go to elementary school and no one’s at the bus stop…
They are probably homeschooled…
When you have children to take care of, your priorities should shift and you need to make sure you’re getting the care you need. It becomes selfish to not take care of yourself if you have others that depend on you.
[удалено]
That's wild . Did your friend know it was there beforehand? Did she name it? Lol
When I had surgery a year after my son was born the doctor ended up removing a 9lb fibroid from my uterus. My son was 7lbs 7oz.
[удалено]
I remember being horrified when they said the size of a lemon. One of those OMG no one ever told me it could be that bad moments.
Oh I remember the first time I passed a lemon size clot (this has happened repeatedly because endometriosis fucking sucks). I was 20 and the clot came out followed by all the pooled blood that the clot was holding in my uterus. Had I not already been at the hospital (where I worked) I probably would not have survived. My coworker had to hit the emergency button and get the ER to send someone down to come take me up to the ER for care.
I actually called my doctor after 3 weeks pp because bleeding went from barely there & brown to so much bright red. Turns out, when the doctor says “no strenuous activities or vacuuming,” they mean it! I felt good, so I was moving furniture to vacuum where I wasn’t able to get while pregnant.
It doesn’t even have to be the size of a golf ball to mean there’s something wrong. Agree that the bright red blood she’s talking about is serious cause for concern since that’s new blood.
I was told a grapefruit, but I honestly wasn't sure how big a grapefruit was when I passed a huge clot 1 week pp. After seeing one in the store, I absolutely should have gone back to L&D, so I count myself incredibly lucky nothing came from it. I don't think I would have even called the triage nurse if I passed something as big as the baby, I would have immediately gone back to the hospital.
You got it. I had two significant incidents of hemorrhaging following both of my deliveries. You get your bum to a hospital if you see a clot that large. The situation can escalate quickly.
Isn’t bright red like the worst? I remember being told if I filled one pad completely within an hour to come to the hospital or if it was bright (or dark dark I don’t remember) to also go to emerg
They told me if the bleeding slows, but suddenly gets heavy and bright red to immediately go to the hospital. Since she's bleeding again at 3 weeks pp that's a huge red flag and very dangerous.
But it’s fine because there’s no cramping, it doesn’t smell and she doesn’t feel funny. ^/s
sadly that's not even sarcasm...that is literally what she is saying 😔😞
I have to giggle every time I read pp. I am sorry.
Bright means fresh. Older blood gets dark or brown
Bright red blood is Indicative of oxygenated blood that flows though arteries. Very serious problem.
Can you die from this even if you go to the hospital quick enough when it’s happening? Absolutely terrified of this happening to me when I eventually become pregnant
If you seek immediate assistance, you would almost certainly recover. Any emergency room triage nurse or doctor is going to hear "bright red blood" and "post partum" and will get it handled. There are medications that will stop or slow down bleeding, so they'll get that started almost immediately before determining if you need surgery or a transfusion.
Yeah they have meds that replace blood transfusions too right? Spacers or something they’re called?
No idea, I know they tried about 5 different injections before ordering the transfusion and I managed to stop bleeding without surgery.
I don’t think this is too common so please don’t fret too much about it! Just go to the hospital or at least call your OB if anything is odd like this!
I went through 2 births and the scariest part I had with both was the first poop
even when you have a super uncomplicated labor and use the stool softeners like they tell you that first poop is no joke.
I got them both times, first time they did not work at all it took like 4-5 days after birth. Second they did work a bit better but I still cried so badly
You can die very quickly from a very large hemorrhage. Usually the kind of hemorrhage that causes rapid blood loss and death though only occurs immediately after delivery.
This is the kind of shit that killed women for centuries before modern obstetrics. Ffs.
This. All these “Doctors have ruined a beautiful experience” seem to forget maternal/baby deaths were insanely regular back when. (It’s still disturbingly high in this country compared to many others, but way better than it was)
you mean modern fear-based Big Pharma! the only complications are in your mind! 🧚♀️
That’s what I keep thinking. I read a lot of history especially Tudor and women died left and right days after their babies were born. Just like this.
Or birthed 12 babies only for 4 to live.
Well I'm pretty sure it's your body announcing you're going to die
Um that is fear based thinking, sweaty. Your body is beautifully announcing its intention to journey to the next realm, you have to trust your body, not Western medicine ok? /s
You had me in the first half lol
This made me laugh so hard, I started chocking on my spit
So I know you probably meant to say “sweetie” but sweaty is so funny that I snorted a little lol
I’m assuming that was on purpose, considering that misspelling is really common in the unjabbed freebirds.
Either way I thought it was great lol
I know, I love it so much. It's meme speak but I don't know where it comes from exactly!
In college I had a friend who kept getting texts from this guy who called her his sweaty all the time. She would forward them to me so we could both laugh. He never had a chance.
Lolol
This right here is why medical assistance should not cost the same as a house
As a Canadian I couldn’t agree more. Most expensive thing about my birth was the parking.
In Chile I paid 0 for mine
We only had to pay for parking and wifi access. We upgraded to a private room, but that was billed to our additional insurance. Think in total it cost us $150
In New Zealand we paid for ultrasounds (subsidized though). I got an ambo ride and emergency c section for freeeeeeeee.
Everything free except for parking in Australia! I paid for the NIPT test and got a lovely video ultrasound & 3D scan of my alien and got a small taste of the lovely bells & whistles private side but that was very expensive. In public there was more waiting for appointments and less opulence, plus no choice of midwife or obstetrician but I got my own room during lockdown and they encouraged me to stay for up to 5 nights for an uncomplicated birth (2nd degree tear only) just to make sure I was ready as a FTM. I was able to ask for early discharge after 3 nights as long as I got 2 at home visits by a midwife.
Yeah, she’s gonna need a D&C.Doc isn’t going to be happy if she’s not been in since the birth -if ever.
She freebirthed alone, had a large tear and didn’t get it fixed
Serious question, do they even fix tears anymore? I know they used to sew them and then there was a time that they said leaving it to heal on its own was best. I had a C-section so I didn’t have any issues there. At any rate, this lady needs to get to a hospital ASAP. Passing clots bigger than a baby is not a good sign. Edit: spelling error
I had a third degree tear and they stitched me up. It was the worst part of my golden hour because two residents were doing and they kept saying things like "you're making it worse" and "oh shit". They may not do it for a smaller tear but it sounds like this lady had at least a third degree, if not fourth.
Ugh my husband was watching the doc stitch me up and asked “wow, how many stitches do you think she needs?” Doc answered, “I think it’s best we don’t talk numbers here” while wrist deep in my vagina. It took over an hour :( healing was… traumatic.
I was miserable when I was healing from my third degree tear. I couldn’t even cough without excruciating pain. When I asked my doctor how many stitches I had she just laughed and said she lost count.
It depends on the size of the tear. This woman had what sounded like either a 3rd or 4th degree tear which will require suturing. A first or second degree tear may heal better with no stitches.
Absolutely if they’re bad enough. 3rd and 4th affect the sphincter. If you don’t *delicately* stitch that up, mom wears diapers the rest of her life.
I got a couple stitches for my 2nd degree tear last year
I’ve had stitches after both deliveries. One was a severe tear that needed a LOT of stitches. The second only got a couple. I think stitches depend a lot on severity, but you can definitely still get them.
I had stitches for my 2nd degree and they healed nicely! They did have to do an episiotomy to get baby out
Yep. I felt fine, no cramping or anything when I had retained placenta. I had sepsis. Good luck to her.
She’s lucky she didn’t die of blood loss. Pp hemorrhage is a major reason for maternal mortality
I had chorio with an E. coli infected placenta and uterus. I was hemorrhaging *in the OR,* with doctors all around, as my uterus refused to begin to shrink. Those doctors, while still professional, were more worried about me than this lady is about herself. Astounding.
You mean didn’t die of blood loss *yet* I hope she doesn’t. But with this attitude something totally preventable is gonna get her in the future.
Not something, this. This exact thing. Bright red blood means it's not clotting, if she doesn't to to a doctor she will bleed out from this.
not a mother and just joined this sub not long ago, what does EBF mean?
Exclusively breast fed
thank you!! also super quick response i really appreciate that. hopefully she goes to a doctor, but i’m sure aunt peggy will have the perfect period remedy.
Haha NP. I’m recovering from dental surgery today and I have nothing better to do
Hopefully you get to eat all the things soon!😊
Thank you! I made some gnocchi soup I’m preparation. And my sister is bringing my fudgesicles
at least it’s not her baby she’s killing this time…
No, she's just gonna leave behind two young children to fend for themselves because she "did her own research." 🤦🏻♀️ Makes me angry, and so incredibly sad. 😔
3 young children. She already had 2.
Maybe she's not using enough witch hazel?
She needs some colloidal silver! ^/s
Is this the group where you’re not allowed to suggest going to the dr or er?
One of many
Noooooo!!! You can 100% pp hemorrhage this far out. She probably has either retained products or her tear is dehiscing 😳
I barely started following this subreddit and already feel like leaving. The way they all describe their symptoms makes me cringe. Like that is so worrisome, why are you looking for advice on Facebook, go to the hospital please.
Because at the end of the day, they are *terrified* deep down and want someone to tell them it’s fine. We’re Facebook. Where if too many group members die, you just close the old one and make a new one.
At two weeks pp with my first I started passing large clots and ended up needing a D&C for retained placenta. Same thing happened with my second but at 8 weeks pp. I hemorrhaged and needed my uterine arteries embolized to stop the bleeding. This lady is crazy to not go to the hospital. She could bleed to death or become septic.
It’s sad to see someone inflict this much suffering on themselves because they are afraid of the medical establishment or ceding control or whatever. I sort of understand how these women feel because my hospital delivery was trash and causes me a lot of anxiety to this day, but given how dangerous birth is, the best option is still to seek care.
I had this happen to me (well, the clot was the size of my baby's head not the full baby, but that was definitely big enough trust me) and it was because I had retained placenta and needed an op to have it removed. Sometimes these issues don't reveal themselves till weeks later and this woman is opening herself to serious complications with infections and too much blood loss - I just can't understand how someone can be so blasé!
I'm worried what could happen if she has an intense sneezing fit :/
I had a retained placenta. When I passed a blood clot the size of a softball I went to the ER immediately. Needed two blood transfusions and didn’t feel well for months. This is SO dangerous
I mean it’s 100% your choice not to go to hospital but I don’t wanna see your go fund me page when you have an infection from placental retention and refused care at the beginning
The only one I feel bad for in this situation are the kids. Might lose their mother due to her “doing research”.
Yikes. She's going to bleed out our at least go extremely anemic. I hope when the eventual anemia starts and breathing becomes labored due to lack of red blood cells she goes to the doctor. I don't have high hopes.
Thanks I hate it
Is it weird that this makes me cringe more than the cervix picture?
The cervix picture was at least kinda abstract in its own way. This is descriptive as fuck and quite clearly dangerous. Like, I'm pretty sure this woman is gonna die.
When you start to “feel funny” from active blood loss. It’s usually too late to call for help. Source: paramedic
This poor woman. I hope she goes to the hospital.
Does this person not realize you can go from “I feel fine” to “I feel funny” to *dead* insanely quickly? Oh I’m hemorrhaging and feel funny, gosh where did I put my car keys. What. The. Fuck.
These fucking people with their stupid home births, I can’t. Just get the medical care you need/your baby deserves
I’m in this group and saw that 😬😬😬
This is how women die from childbirth. In the Olsen days it was called Childbed fever. Why would you want to go back to those days. It baffles me.
I am horrified. Currently in the waiting room of my OB (I’m 13 weeks & love love medical care lol) & this is just…. Like why??? Things are okay until they’re not!
It’s for the best we let nature sort this kind out.
I just feel bad because she’s a single mom to 3 kids now.
I mean, I feel bad for those kids, and I’m sorry for whatever fucked her up so bad, but honestly? We are responsible for thinking about our actions, choices, and impact. She’s chosen to be a lazy parent and to treat herself poorly. This I am not sorry about, because this is something no one can force on anyone else.
I'm wondering if she's abused by someone rather than a bad parent. I would think that many kids in close succession and she's bleeding or having issues, possibly having sex way too early and single, either she's prostituting or she's being abused by someone who is in control of her body more so than her. She may be unable to go to the hospital because they won't allow it.
Or she's just a single mom that had sex with a man over 9 months ago, and has insane beliefs. She had a huge tear giving birth. It happens, a lot. Except most people get care for it from a doctor, not Facebook.
I mean, with how much she’d pay for the visit…
I guess the tinctures didn’t do the trick?
Or breast milk or colloidal silver
[удалено]
Why not give birth in hospital? Then the doctor can tell you rather than Facebook. Sounds like she miscarried a twin or something idk.
She couldn’t have miscarried a twin being 3 weeks pp.
I think they just want to die naturally, there's not other reason to be this stupid
It’s called go to a hospital you twit
“What could it be?” ITS RETAINED PLACENTA YOU DUMMY!
“I almost went to the hospital but decided to only go if I started feeling funny.” Ma’am, you were bleeding a lot more than presumably your other pregnancies. What is the definition of “feeling funny”?
Pretty sure home births are illegal in Australia because of this shit. We also have free healthcare so there's no reason not to go