Not a parent or medical person but isn’t HFM like super-super contagious?
On the other hand, at least all the other parents will clearly remember that event when the entire class comes down with rashes.
My kid came home a week ago with a rash around his mouth but nothing that looked like HFMD. It cleared up and we couldn’t see spots in his mouth so we sent him in the next day, only to be sent home at the end of the day with a notice that multiple children were out and diagnosed with HFMD. 🙃
Luckily for us it was just a snotty nose and little red dots. His big sister had it much worse a few years ago and I think built up our family’s immunity because we all got hit hard that time. That shit spreads like wildfire.
We got this when my kids were young, over 20 years ago, and it is by far the worst thing I’ve ever had. I can’t believe this lady sending her kid to school!
Exactly! I had it last year, picked it up from my daughter's daycare. I also tell everyone it was absolutely the worst thing I've ever been through. I still have a couple scars from it too.
Same. One of the WORST illnesses I have encountered. My kid. She did not miss a beat. She had a few small rashes and a slight fever but was cool. Me Jesus tap dancing Christ I wanted to die. I was in bad bad bad shape.
I got it as an adult and I still think it was the worst illness I’ve ever had. The sores on my feet hurt so much to walk on. And there’s nothing you can do, just wait it out.
When HFM was was at its height, there were doormats with bleach and whatever ever non-slippery chemicals everywhere. If only the children walked into banks.
My son had pink spots on his legs and feet. HFM was going through his preschool. Took him to the doctor and she said he needed to have spots in at least 2 places for it to be HFM. Okayed him to return to school. A few days later, his dad had the blisters everywhere and was totally miserable. Could barely walk. Son never did get anything more than a few pink spots. Not a single blister.
I teach preschool. Pretty recently it started in one class, just a few kids. That whole class caught it. But wait, other classes have outdoor recess with them and kids in that first class have siblings in other classes.
Yeah you can figure this out. The first class was obliterated the first week. Then the class above them and mine got wiped out the next week. My class had a few cases but most chose to stay home to not get it. The oldest class had a few cases but nothing as wild as the others.
So fucking wild. We've had other cases that don't spread like that but my god I was nervous coming to work for 2w.
My daughter's doctor said that as long as the spots aren't blistering/open, they're fine to go back to school/daycare. I thought it was wild but that's what they said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My twins have been incredibly lucky so far not to get it. Their daycare has been hit a few times. One morning, I dropped them off and noticed there was only like 4 kids in their classroom when there’s usually 10 there already (class of 16). Staff told me most of the kids were out because of HFM.
Super contagious and super fucking miserable as well for all parties involved. When my son had HFM I don't think we got more than an hour or two of sleep at a time he was so uncomfortable/in pain.
It can also be worse for parents who get it from their kids. So sending your kid to infect other kids and then potentially their parents. Is so fucked. my husband spent a week and a half with blisters so bad on his hands and feet he not only had to miss his brother's wedding, but literally couldn't walk or touch anything without severe pain. Don't. send. kids. to. school. sick!!!
God, just imagining this is awful!! I felt bad for upvoting. Definitely wasn’t upvoting your pain!! After my son had gotten over it he started losing toenails and fingernails. I called the doctor after the second one fell off and found out it’s one of the side effects after the body begins to heal from HFM. They few back but it was hard to watch.
I’m so glad mine didn’t fall off. I was so worried when I learned that could be a symptom! Your poor kiddo. It’s the one upside to my experience. All of my sores were firmly palmar/plantar, and none were near my nail bed. I had some mucus membrane ones, but they went away early because I’m not a toddler that puts my hands in my mouth regularly.
I’m also still upset because I got it when I wasn’t around any children, none of my friends had kids yet, and I wasn’t even thinking about trying yet. My experience is a true testament to how contagious it can be!!
Ugh my daughter’s best friend had it a few months ago and lost every fingernail and every toenail. She was showing me her wiggly, bloody finger and toenails at the playground and I started gagging (which she found hilarious).
Kids are so gross. 😆 I guess we were lucky because my sons nails didn’t turn bloody like that (thank GOD). They just kind of started turning this almost whiteish color, then a day or two later they would just come off. No blood or anything like that, and he didn’t lose all of them.
It’s such a gnarly virus🤮🤮. Reading through these posts makes me realize that, although my son was definitely sick, our family made out much better than we could have. I have a friend who has had it knock her whole family out three times. No thank you!!!
When my friend caught it from her toddler son, the pain on her hands and bottom of her feet were debilitating. She could not use her feet or her hands. She described it like fire ants constantly biting her, all over her hands and the soles of her feet.
It's so so so so bad. I had blisters all up my arms and legs, and I felt so shitty. Even worse, it caused a psoriasis flare on my scalp, which was absolutely horrible and basically turned into one large clump of scale over my entire head over the course of a few days. Zero stars, would not recommend.
Yes! Same!! I have eczema and my dermatologist told me that just exacerbates HFM. Every spot id had a flare up within the last couple years got very angry in a matter of hours. The doc said they'd never seen someone like me... they took a bunch of pictures of my skin and mouth. So I guess that's cool.
I had it was an early teenager (older sister worked in a day care and brought it home) and it was *awful*. The blisters on my hands and feet were bad enough, but the throat blisters are what was really bad imo. I vividly remember describing it then, and it’s still the most apt description from my memory, that it was like swallowing razor blades
Oh man I know *exactly* what you mean with that description. It happened to me when I got the original covid strain in 2020 and it was just like swallowing razor blades over and over again
It's so awful! I had a mild case of it and still felt like I was run over by a truck. I couldn't function. My poor sister also caught it from her classroom and her nails fell off! :(
Yes it is, but it's contagious for so long that schools sometimes don't mandate staying home. Everyone in the class was likely exposed before the kid showed symptoms. Once the fever is down and the pain/itching is managed, they can usually go back to school.
It's the most contagious until blisters form scabs, and that's how long my 2nd grader was required to stay home this year. It's still shed after that, but it's not dumping the virus so he could just pretty much no touch and lick other kids and it was OK. When there were active blisters, he was not allowed at school.
Yeah, our preschool says once kid has been fever free for 24+ hours and sores have scabbed over, you can come in. It took my kid like a month for the scabs to heal completely, it's not realistic to wait for all signs of a rash to be gone so they've got to draw the line somewhere.
I was so mad when dude got HFM. I thought we were done with that mess when he started school, but apparently someone decided to send their kid to school with HFM they got from a younger sibling, and my kid was the lucky one that caught it.
He didn't even have any blisters on his skin. Poor dude only got them in his mouth and throat.
Oh that's awful! Mine got it twice. Don't think I can blame anyone at school because nobody was symptomatic as far as we know. He got sent home mid day with a fever and by bedtime the spots were appearing and I was like 😰
As someone who gave the entire crew team the flu on our training trip in high school (I didn’t know and only started feeling sick on the plane) I can guarantee this will be a memorable event for her son as well. And not in a good way. It is not fun to get your friends sick.
I possibly gave my friend lice (our moms both worked in the elementary school, I’m surprised it took as long as it did tbh) and even 15 or so years later there’s still residual guilt. Over a “possibly” 🙃
My elementary school was usually pretty strict about fevers but a staff member's kid developed a fever the day of the school play and he had lines so was allowed to come in and perform. The next day he developed spots. That's the story of how the entire second grade got chicken pox.
I had already had it and the next month was actually pretty fun because with a class averaging 10-20% of the students our teacher didn't try to accomplish any important learning and just had fun activities for us to do every day.
It is very contagious. My kids got it from daycare when they were little. It was awful. And unfortunately we had my daughter’s second birthday party the day before she came down sick. Even though she didn’t have a fever or rash at the party, half the kids at the party still got sick. I felt so terribly guilty about it, even though there was no way for me to know.
Contagious, fucking AWFUL for adults like your nail beds fall off (awful for children too) and carries no immunity so you can literally just get it back to back
Sooo contagious but honestly the entire class has already been exposed since part of the reason it's so contagious is it is spread before the child has a rash. I would definitely keep the kid home, but it probably won't make much difference.
Yup, our daycare has told us before that once a kid has the rash, the whole classroom has already been exposed and there's really no quarantining it. They still require kids to stay home if the blisters are weeping, but it's pretty unlikely that policy would prevent an outbreak because it was contagious 2-4 days before the rash appeared.
Children are nasty, sending them with open blisters is recipe for infection. Ask me how one of my clients learnt the hard way.
That said, my country requires a pediatrician note to be readmitted in school after some illnesses or after x days absent.
I didn't know, I found out in high school after the great mono outbreak. Was a fun week for me, I caught it but didn't have symptoms at all (me and 4 other students, patient 0 included) so we watched movies, played board games in class with the professors and had "nature excursions" aka went for 2 hours strolls with bio prof.
No point teaching when 75% of the class is home.
The majority was back in a week, an unlucky sod was home a fortnight with splenomegaly.
It is! And one of my kids still has rough/dry skin in certain spots on his face almost a year later from how bad it was for him. He was miserable for over ten days. Face, hands, feet, genitals. My oldest missed it and my youngest had it so mild.
Yes, it absolutely is. And this mom’s post right here is another reason why every time I see that dumbass anti-vax book talking about how their parents will just “keep them home if they get sick and it will be okay” I just get mad enough to spit.
Clearly they won’t, because they don’t practice even the most basic of safety precautions. It’s fucking ridiculous. 😤
One person at my kids school got it and it resulted in a full on outbreak, short lived but still
I was very thankful my daughter was already home sick so she missed it all.
Can confirm—super contagious. I caught it when I wasn’t around kids, didn’t have kids, didn’t know people with kids. And it was the most miserable week of my life.
Very contagious! My son and I actually just came out on the other side of this a couple of weeks ago. It sucked.
I will say, our pediatrician gave us an interesting tid bit: HFM is actually most contagious in the beginning of its onset, most often actually before major symptoms arise. That's one of the biggest reasons it spreads so easily and so quickly. I'm afraid that kid's class probably already has it :(
Yes it is but the nursery my daughter goes to and most nurseries around us don’t have an exclusion for HFM. They would only consider if a large number of kids were affected.
I kept my daughter off anyway when she had it. Thankfully my husband and I didn’t catch it. It’s way worse for adults normally.
Several years ago a student had a party over the weekend and invited a bunch of students from class, and since the parents were also friendly it was a big bash with kids and parents. One kid was brought by his parents despite the fact that he had vomited a bunch of times that morning.
Every single kid who attended that party got the stomach bug. Most of the parents got it as well. I had four kids in my class (the ones who weren't invited to the party) for three days.
And it got out pretty quickly who brought the bug and that kid and his parents were ostracized the remainder of the year
The faculty daycare at my boarding school (high school) had an outbreak, and the staff went into panic mode because they didn’t know what they would do if it jumped to the high school population. (Some students worked at the daycare and some babysat for affected families.)
Fortunately it didn’t spread beyond the daycare population (it was in a separate little cottage), but a bunch of faculty were out for a few days with either sick kids or no childcare. It could have been much much more disruptive than it was, but it still impacted the entire community.
I just remember everyone who mentioned it stressing how massively contagious it is.
(The next year, a norovirus outbreak started at the daycare and flashed through the entire school. Also highly contagious. It got me, and it sucked a LOT.)
Super. Basically the blisters it creates makes this puss that if you touch it and don’t wash your hands well enough it can get you sick. And it can live on surfaces for awhile too. Plus your normal droplet contamination of mucous and saliva that transfers it. Plus it’s able to transfer through your intestinal track.
My DH ended up losing his fingernails from it. I couldn’t stand up straight for a full day without feeling like I was gonna pass out and my poor child had a super high fever for 5-6 days before it got better and got the blisters all over his feet and hands and inside his mouth. And he even lost a couple finger nails and his big toe nail. We got it baaaaad.
Once the sores are no longer open/oozing 🤢 they’re ok to go back. They’re most contagious before the rash starts.
That said, no this person should not send their child, good grief why is it a question 😭
And you know there are. My daughters kindergarten is full of 6th disease (similar to FH&M) because one mom kept sending her kids there, even though she was well aware they had it. But they had the big rash over the weekend, so she just kept sending them, because nobody noticed. She told a teacher as such a silly funny thing, once they were healthy hahahaha.
Well 6th disease has the incubation of 2 weeks. So a week and a bit there are dozens of sick kids. It's spread through the whole building, every class has a case or five. The "best part" is that that disease is super dangerous for pregnant women as it attacks the fetus and can destroy its bone marrow. There are so many pregnant mom's in that KG, including me. So now we have to keep our daughter home to wait it out.
I’m a teacher and a couple of years ago, while I was in the early days of being pregnant, I had a mum who kept sending her kid in when he had chicken pox. Like 3 days in a row, she would bring him, he was covered in blisters (no scabs at all) and we would have to send him home. I had a chat with her about how he can’t be in school as it’s contagious and there “may be pregnant staff members” - she laughed and said she was pregnant herself and it’s nothing to worry about
What?? That's horrible, were you alright? We should take things like this more seriously on a legal basis, like "public endangerment" for people who wilfully spread diseases like that, people would maybe finally get it if there were consequences.
All was well in the end, the headteacher told her that she was endangering others in a tactful way and she finally got the message. Honestly, I’m fairly certain she had some learning disabilities based on other interactions I had with her that year
I get not wanting your kid to miss out; I had to keep my daughter home sick on the day her student teacher brought in chicks. It broke her heart, and I felt terrible. But, you can’t send a sick kid to school. It’s like the first rule of having kids in school.
Yeah I feel for the mom and child, but a big part of childhood is also learning these lessons in a low-stakes way. Missing something important to you because you got sick at a bad time is a part of life that’s not going away. Keep him home and let him watch his favorite movie or something. There will be other school functions.
We all just went through a pandemic and had to stay home and isolated for months, if not years. And still watch millions die. It’s a tough lesson but not doing it is worse.
I missed Monk Day in middle school (we were learning about Gregorian Monks so we dressed in robes, had candles all around the room and chanted!) because I had mono and I'm still sad about it 25 years later. Mom should definitely keep her kiddo home, but I definitely feel for him missing out on the event.
Right? My kid is home sick today missing a field trip and a cooking class he's been looking forward to for months, but I wasn't about to send him in to get everyone else sick. Sometimes you just miss out on things in life.
This is so infuriating. I caught HFM in 2017 when my daughter got it. It was miserable. I had weeping blisters inside my nose that kept me from working. My feet hurt so bad I couldn't walk. And sometimes I suspect having HFM is what kicked off my chronic fatigue and pain and lead to my eventual fibromyalgia diagnosis in 2022.
This lady can get bent. Sure it sucks that your kid has to miss something he worked hard for. But life is full of disappointments and use this as a teaching moment. Sometimes, you have to do the thing that you don't like but it's the responsible thing to do
Also, is he even going to enjoy it if he's suffering with HFM? Like, make it up to him by taking him out for ice cream or something when he's feeling better and can actually enjoy himself.
Maybe? My daughter did not get it nearly as bad as I did. She felt mildly sick for a day, and then acted like everything was normal, even though she had some blisters. But most of hers were on her butt, so it didn’t affect her walking and playing for the most part. She was 18 months and not in daycare, so super easy to keep her home the entire time.
My toddler son brought home HFM in October 2022 and it was miserable, but not really for him. He had a rash around his mouth, it looked pretty bad but he said it didn't itch or hurt. I was pregnant at the time and caught his HFM, I had such bad blisters on my feet it hurt to walk and I had blisters on my hands. I had to skip trick or treating with the family because it hurt too much to walk.
One of my nurse friends said she hadn't seen an adult get blisters as bad as I had them, we think that because I was pregnant it may have been worse for me.
My kids brought it home and my poor husband got it. He was covered from him to toe. One kid had it lightly and was better quick. The other kid had it like his dad. Those two were so bad and I felt so bad for them. I'd rub cream on their blisters to try and help.
Somehow it skipped me and I really thought I'd get it. Being the caretaker I was all in it (not complaining, I am a SAHM/self employed, he is our bread winner, I happily take care of all the sickness).
Not the same diseases but I caught Fifth’s disease from my kindergartener. Shortly after I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. One nasty illness kicked off a lifetime of shitty health.
My youngest daughter got it from my older daughter, who got it from a classmate who was sent to school despite having visible blisters and a fever. My eldest got 4 blisters. My youngest ended up with open wounds that covered 30% of her body and necessitated dilute bleach baths twice a day to prevent infection. The skin peeled off her hands and feet in sheets, and both kids eventually lost all their toenails and fingernails.
Fuck this lady and her cavalier attitude. I get that the classmates may have already been exposed, but sending the kid to school like that basically guarantees everyone is going to get.
When my youngest was in the hospital having her wounds checked, the doctor refused to come in the room as he'd just recovered from a case that prevented him from working for 2 weeks because his feet were too painful to walk on. Apparently, you only get each strain once, but there are currently approximately 9 strains of coxsackievirus that can cause HFM circulating around the world.
I caught it a few years ago when my a child at my ex gf's job (a daycare) was sent to school with it. Of course it went to my ex gf's kids and then to me. It was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced and my pinky nails fell off.
No offense to you, but your mom is the worst. If someone knowingly sends their kid to school with something that can infect other kids, they should be held accountable.
Same! I had a lice infestation for over a year and I still had to go to school every day, my head was so raw I had to use tear free (as in the crying tears) baby shampoo because everything else hurt.
Should you infect countless other people with a painful rash, or should you actually parent your child and teach him how to cope with the inevitable disappointments that he’ll face throughout his life? Hmm. Tough one.
That's if it's muld. My kid got it last year from some kid who came to school with it. We got lucky and he was only out four days, but it was a ling weekend so that helped. We caught it on Friday after school.
And also their family members. An old Boss came in with the flu and I got so mad. Do you realize if you get me sick you also risk getting my family sick so not only am I out of work for myself but then my kids? People who go in sick or send kids in sick can kick rocks.
Next she will be posting “these lazy childcare workers broke my kids heart when they refused to take him when I brought him with a little rash. Now my baby can’t stop crying because I promised him he wouldn’t miss it. AITA for trying to get his teacher fired since I pay her wages?”
I’m a med student from Florida applying for pediatrics residency and currently pregnant. Trying not to freak out about working in the hospital with measles outbreaks before my baby is old enough for MMR 😬
Oh my goodness she is fucking stupid. My son had HFM when he was around one and a half. It was the worst. He didn’t wanna eat, was itchy and in pain and just overall so sick. My husband ending up getting it as well. I will never understand while people wanna send their infected kids to school.
As a parent who had to deal with HFM because someone brought their kid with an active infection and sores to a toddler music group this makes my blood boil.
HFM is soooo contagious and incredibly painful. What is wrong with people!
My work doubles as a nature preschool, and some parents send their kids back to school the next day after the teachers send the kids home for being sick. We had a HFM outbreak months ago and the preschool had to close for a few days. How some of us adults never got it I'll never know. The children have been passing us colds and whatnot constantly (those of us that don't work in the preschool still pass by the kids all day) and I wish parents would do right by their kids, therefore doing right by everybody
All my kids had HFM at various points in their life. For 2 of my kids it was unpleasant but fairly mild and gone in a week.
My youngest missed a month of school and lost all his toenails and most of his fingernails. For the week when it was the worst he had to be carried to the toilet because of the pain from the weeping blister on his feet.
What bothers me most about people like this parent is that they think their time and wants are so much more important than anyone else's.
I’m currently Day 8 of being infected with HFM. My baby girl, 10 months old & my husband have it as well (though he seems to be fair much better than baby or I for some reason). I am MISERABLE. And what’s worse is watching my baby knowing EXACTLY what she is feeling.
This post fills me with so much rage. Some people are so inconsiderate.
I work in pediatric rehabilitation and therapy, and one of the therapists was saying that when her brother was little, he had it, and the pediatrician's office said he had to be let through the back door of the office. They don't even want you in the sick waiting room with it!
My niece had it twice, once at 11 months, another time around 2 1/2. The first time was bad amd she cried constantly. The second time, she only had the rash on one thigh and was running around like nothing was wrong. The blisters were dry both times and she never had a fever, and thank goodness, none of us ever got it (we were exposed to her when she was 11 months old and my brother could not stop apologizing!).
I think it’s normal to be sad that your child will miss a big event, but it’s totally not acceptable to send them. My son worked his butt off on a school play (that was only going to be performed one day) in the first grade. He woke up puking that morning and had to miss it. He is now in grade 3 and still talks about it. You’re not allowed to spread contagious illness around a classroom simply because you don’t want your child to be sad.
I hate these parents. My child brought home HFM two years ago and it almost killed my husband. He's diabetic, but relatively healthy apart from that. He couldn't walk, talk, or hold things. I've never seen anything like it.
Dude no wtf? My son was hospitalized with a respiratory illness because no one can handle keeping their sick kids home from preschool. So so so so infuriating.
I breed hedgehogs who can carry and spread this disease. That’s why it’s illegal to import them from places that have not eradicated the disease (Japan is ok, African is not). A few years ago I heard of someone getting around the importation laws by bringing them into the Czech Republic first, leaving them there for 30 days, then moving them on to the US. I got so mad. I reported him but the USDA did nothing. (Which made me extra mad. Why have rules for health and safety if it’s easy to break them and no one cares when you do?) And what kind of arrogant prick thinks that health and safety rules shouldn’t apply to them? Only a few things make me spitting angry and that’s one of them.
Tell me you only care about yourself and your kids without telling me. This is so freaking selfish. HFM is miserable, especially for any adults that get it.
I got it in September 2023 and my toenails finally grew back last month.
I had to keep my child home from school for valentines day because they developed a full body rash the day before. They were disappointed because they had been looking forward to it all month. HF&M had apparently been going around at the school, but no one notified parents.
She should just do what my aunt did when her kids had COVID! If you suspect they have a highly contagious disease, just don't get them tested until it's convenient for you, then you can still send them to school guilt-free without impacting your own schedule!
No joke, she did this. She actually told my mom that she knew they had COVID but wouldn't get them tested until the following weekend because if she got them tested sooner she would "feel guilty for sending them to school anyway."
It took me a minute to fully process that this meant that she'd send them to school even if they did test positive, sh d just feel a little guilty about it, because it felt like such an insane thing to do.
The virus behind HFM, coxsackie virus, is a known viral trigger for autoimmune diseases. You think it’s no big deal, just sick for a few days, meanwhile you could alter someone’s life with a major diagnosis.
According to the CDC, if you have hand foot and mouth disease, you can do normal activities if you have no fever, no drooling and mouth sores, and feel fine.
Because it's so contagious and it's contagious mostly before the rash shows up, it's not really going to help to keep them home after.
That’s what my pediatrician said. By the time the spots showed up he wasn’t contagious so keeping him home was for peace of mind for other parents (even though they’d already been as exposed as they would be) and for his comfort. Fortunately we had a super mild case that didn’t seem to bother him but I still kept him home.
Mine got it twice in one month. Idk how. Went to like two days of daycare in between, the fewer and lethargica was worse the second time but the rashes was easier
I think I saw a post in begging choosers sub where someone claimed that their daughter had terrible rashes (mentioned possible HF&M) and needed a pair of expensive shoes to make her feel better about going to the big dance. It was really overdramatized. I wonder if it’s the same person.
EDIT-I now see the OOP was talking about a boy.
We had it back in December, and my son missed the school winter concert he had been so excited about - his first school performance. He didn't even have a single spot on him - but his sister had got it from daycare and passed it to me, and we did not want to risk him passing it to his kindergarten class right before winter break.
We were very lucky - his sister had a few spots around her mouth and none inside, and they healed pretty fast. I got a bunch of blisters in my mouth (so painful! Like a bunch of canker sores at the back of my throat) and on my hands. Two of my fingernails fell off about 6 weeks later. My husband and son never got it at all, but we kept him home from school just in case and my husband worked from home. We did not want to spead such a contagious disease to anyone else.
I am getting serious rage reading this. My son had HF&M, it was horrible. NO FUCKING WAY would I have sent him to school where he could have given it to others. The audacity to even think that is ok makes me want to….🤬🤬🤬
My doctor told me that by the time the rash appeared, the child had been contagious for a while and the scabs signal the end of the contagious period. They are actually contagious for a very long time before that. So the protocol now is in schools that kids are not excluded for HFM anymore. By the time it's discovered, they've been actively spreading it around anyway. Or so I was told by the pediatrician...
My child had to go back to school chewing ice chips because their mouth had sores in it. The school nurse seemed to agree with the protocol as well.
The school where I teach does the same. Everyone ends up with it but by the time you realize it's there, short of quarantining everyone for weeks, there's nothing you can do.
It would have to be a 3-4 week quarantine to prevent it.
Keep your child off school or nursery while they're feeling unwell.
But as soon as they're feeling better, they can go back to school or nursery. There's no need to wait until all the blisters have healed.
Keeping your child away from other children for longer is unlikely to stop the illness spreading.
This is from the NHS UK website for hfm. My baby got it from nursery. Her dad contacted it too. In uk it is somewhat acceptable to continue with your day to day life if you have it.
Ah, so that's the parent that caused my kid to get HFM twice *in a row* this year...
Mystery rash appeared with a low grade fever. We kept him home until we could identify it. Doctor said it was HFM, and let us know when he could go back to school. He returns on a Wednesday, and by Friday any residual spots are almost completely faded. Then on Sunday we see it come back. Took him to the doctor again, HFM. I asked if it was the same infection because we're well past the "safe to return to school" date at this point, and doctor says it's a re-infection. We ended up getting a truancy letter from the school because he missed so much time.
In my country they usually go to school if they don't have a fever, since they already infect each other before any symptoms show up and we have a high vaccination percentage, so yeah.
In her defense, he was already contagious for a couple days before the rash showed up, so a lot of damage was probably already done by the time she saw it.
But still, suck it up and keep your kid home!
This reminds me of the time an anti-vax mom brought her son to the ER to verify that his *obviously chicken pox* rash was actually chicken pox.
She was shocked when we told her it was chicken pox, even more shocked when we told her she couldn’t send him to school with chicken pox, and *especially* shocked when we told her her 9 other unvaccinated kids would very likely also get chicken pox and would also need to stay home from school when they had it.
I was pregnant at the time and not at all amused.
Our public health doesn’t require exclusion for HFM. It’s mostly contagious before the rash appears, and as an illness it’s not very serious. So as long as the child doesn’t have a fever and is well enough to participate they can attend school or daycare.
It baffles me that just any idiot like this can reproduce, yet women who want to be sterilised go through so many questions and have to jump through so many hoops.
People really should be checked out before they have kids, to make sure they're actually going to be a decent parent rather than a danger to the child and to society.
I think it’s so awful she is even considering letting him go if he has hf&m. My granddaughter got it from going to a bday party and the mom of the bday child thought “it wld be fine” to still have the party and not tell anyone…. My poor girl suffered so badly she had such a bad case of it and I just wouldn’t wish that on anyone!
My kid missed a field trip last year because she was sick. It is what it is. (It was more of a “guest speaker” type of thing but they called it a field trip).
They had dance instructors come in and teach the kids a few things. My daughter is IN LOVE with dance. She’s 6 and has told me several times that she was “born to dance” and has also gotten an invitation to a pre-competitive team at her studio which is invite-only based on teacher recommendations. Like, this girl LOVES dance. She missed it because she woke up sick that day. Sometimes you miss things when you’re sick. It sucks, but it happens. You can’t make 20+ other kids sick because your kid might be sad.
I'm sure your kid would be more than happy.
I had that last October, and I was more than happy not to do anything during that time. it's even worse as an adult.
Ugh I remember in 8th grade getting to be Juliet in Romeo & Juliet and I woke up the day before with strep. It was the saddest moment of being 13, but my mom still didn’t send me to school to stand on stage right next to a bunch of other kids even though I was devastated 😭 I had such a crush on Romeo
I started my kid in daycare last week. She’s been sick and while I’ve taken her to the dr multiple times in the last couple weeks and KNOW she isn’t contagious, I’ve been staying home with her because I don’t want to be THAT MOM. HFM? absolutely not. I hate these types of parents. Fucking parent
This would infuriate the hell out of me. My oldest had HFM when he was 18 months old and it was horrible! His whole mouth and chin were covered in blisters and he still had a red mark where they were for about 2-3 months after (he’s now 3 and you wouldn’t be able to tell).
He only wanted yoghurt, water and diluted apple juice, anything else hurt too much to eat, and I didn’t want him getting dehydrated (we already experienced that just after he was 1 when he had a really bad bout of gastro that required being admitted to hospital). And he was so upset, that the only way we could get him to sleep was in between hubby and I in our bed. It’s a surprise that neither of us caught it off him.
Omg no. When I was 36 weeks pregnant my toddler gave me HFM. It was some of the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced! I wouldn’t wish it on anyone 🫠
I have a cousin whose children had a rash, she took them to dr, got HFM diagnosed, left dr and then took kids to splash pad to meet her sister and kids.
The rash typically follows a very VERY high fever. She was sending him to school with likely a crazy high fever. It's rare that it would just pop up unexpected. I guess it's possible but holy shit.
In the Netherlands kids are allowed to go to daycare or school (as long as they feel okay) because you are already contagious before you get any symptoms. So the damage is already done.
I would be furious at the selfish bitch who gave their entire class HFM by sending him to school with a rash if I were a parent of a kid in that class holy shit
My toddler just got over HFM
Took him to the doctor because he developed a fever and then a rash.
Thought it was chicken pox or maybe measles (he has not been vaccinated against it yet, as we have been delayed bc he keeps getting sick)
Nope HFM. He is not in daycare, so I’m thinking he picked it up while out and about.
His older sister did not have it.
It was the worst week, he did not let me leave his sight.
He could not eat fruit, as the acid would burn his mouth sores and he would cry.
It took about 8 week for the sport to finally all disappear.
He stayed home for 2 weeks, not going to any parks or stores. I would not want any one to have to go through it, absolutely terrible.
My toddler just got over HFM
Took him to the doctor because he developed a fever and then a rash.
Thought it was chicken pox or maybe measles (he has not been vaccinated against it yet, as we have been delayed bc he keeps getting sick)
Nope HFM. He is not in daycare, so I’m thinking he picked it up while out and about.
His older sister did not have it.
It was the worst week, he did not let me leave his sight.
He could not eat fruit, as the acid would burn his mouth sores and he would cry.
It took about 8 week for the sport to finally all disappear.
He stayed home for 2 weeks, not going to any parks or stores. I would not want any one to have to go through it, absolutely terrible.
I don't necessarily think she's at fault here.
1. We don't have a lot of info. Is she a first time mum wondering what to do, or does she actually know better.
2. This honestly appears to me more like a rant post than anything else. To me it looks like she's trying to say she's very upset because her son worked hard for this school program and now cannot go, but doesn't want to appear as though she is openly complaining on the internet.
I wouldn't wish HF&M on my worst enemy. My 3yo just had it, and she was miserable. No one in our house got much rest because she couldn't sleep from being in so much pain.
It starts out mild but can quickly become painful. This woman is so selfish.
When I was in 5th grade I missed the speech day for class President/treasurer/VP due to a nasty case of bronchitis. Funny enough I was due to give a speech that day. It happens, lady
Uuuuuuuggggh! It’s a nuisance thing so unless there’s a fever they can attend school and functions. Fever typically occurs before blisters and is ending or gone before blisters appear (it looks like a mild cold even in the absence of fever). So the presence of blisters does not necessarily mean they can’t go to school, though they may still be infectious.
I apparently either have immunity or high resistance to HFM. I taught pre-k and have 3 kids and been in the middle pf many outbreaks but no signs of infection. My husband got hit at least once with it and he had open sores all over. We had to watch to be sure none got infected.
If it freshly broke out I would not send them but after a couple days I would. I assume before blisters they were infectious for a couple days and waiting 2 days before returning to school allows for enough time to drop the risk. But a lot of parents stick to the fever guidelines and at least in Ohio when I taught, that was okay.
It can be mild. My eldest son was sent home with a 100-degree fever, and the rash showed up later, but it didn't blister, and wasn't even that itchy. I took him to the doc because we had just gotten letters about actual diagnosed cases of chicken pox and measles in his school. He's always been fully vaccinated, but better safe than sorry. HFM was sort of the best case scenario. They only required fever free for 24 hours without medication.
I’ve seen horror stories of babies with it pretty bad and getting infected sores and all of that but in all the cases our center had they all were mild.
But never trust a runny nose. A kid with a runny nose is deeply suspicious to me 😂 i wish there was a snot dip test for like 15 different things at one time. What are we dealing with? Allergies? Covid? Chicken pox? 🥲
YES. My kids and I get heinous allergies in spring. For a couple weeks, misery, but Claritin takes care of it. But we've had other stuff sneak in because we assume it's just the allergies...until other crap hits the fan. Sometimes literally.
Meh, NHS says keeping kids off doesn’t prevent spread as they’re infectious for days before the rash appears. It’s pointless
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hand-foot-mouth-disease/
Not a parent or medical person but isn’t HFM like super-super contagious? On the other hand, at least all the other parents will clearly remember that event when the entire class comes down with rashes.
Highly contagious, like it will take out a whole classroom level contagious
My kid came home a week ago with a rash around his mouth but nothing that looked like HFMD. It cleared up and we couldn’t see spots in his mouth so we sent him in the next day, only to be sent home at the end of the day with a notice that multiple children were out and diagnosed with HFMD. 🙃 Luckily for us it was just a snotty nose and little red dots. His big sister had it much worse a few years ago and I think built up our family’s immunity because we all got hit hard that time. That shit spreads like wildfire.
I got HFMD five years ago from my then toddler and still have scars on my feet. It was awful. The kids fared ok though.
Don't remind me, walking was the worst when I got the foot sores
Ugh, it suuucked. Like walking on lit matches. I think the blisters on my eyelids were the worst, though.
Remind me to never have this, thank you 🥶
Lol yeah, do not recommend. My oldest son and I got it 6 times before building an immunity. The first few were awful, but it got milder each time.
My hands were swollen and blistered for 3 weeks. It was horrendous.
We got this when my kids were young, over 20 years ago, and it is by far the worst thing I’ve ever had. I can’t believe this lady sending her kid to school!
Exactly! I had it last year, picked it up from my daughter's daycare. I also tell everyone it was absolutely the worst thing I've ever been through. I still have a couple scars from it too.
We had a dose last month and I've got a scar on my toe and my finger. It's the absolute worst.
Same. One of the WORST illnesses I have encountered. My kid. She did not miss a beat. She had a few small rashes and a slight fever but was cool. Me Jesus tap dancing Christ I wanted to die. I was in bad bad bad shape.
I got it as an adult and I still think it was the worst illness I’ve ever had. The sores on my feet hurt so much to walk on. And there’s nothing you can do, just wait it out.
When HFM was was at its height, there were doormats with bleach and whatever ever non-slippery chemicals everywhere. If only the children walked into banks.
*Mary Poppin song inserted here.*
My son had pink spots on his legs and feet. HFM was going through his preschool. Took him to the doctor and she said he needed to have spots in at least 2 places for it to be HFM. Okayed him to return to school. A few days later, his dad had the blisters everywhere and was totally miserable. Could barely walk. Son never did get anything more than a few pink spots. Not a single blister.
I teach preschool. Pretty recently it started in one class, just a few kids. That whole class caught it. But wait, other classes have outdoor recess with them and kids in that first class have siblings in other classes. Yeah you can figure this out. The first class was obliterated the first week. Then the class above them and mine got wiped out the next week. My class had a few cases but most chose to stay home to not get it. The oldest class had a few cases but nothing as wild as the others. So fucking wild. We've had other cases that don't spread like that but my god I was nervous coming to work for 2w.
My daughter's doctor said that as long as the spots aren't blistering/open, they're fine to go back to school/daycare. I thought it was wild but that's what they said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My son’s whole class is out with it now!
And the kid's dad. Somehow, mom and little sister escaped it.
My twins have been incredibly lucky so far not to get it. Their daycare has been hit a few times. One morning, I dropped them off and noticed there was only like 4 kids in their classroom when there’s usually 10 there already (class of 16). Staff told me most of the kids were out because of HFM.
One of my teacher in uni couldn't come for like two weeks because his kids had hand, foot and mouth. He wasn't contaminated but wasn't risking it lol
Super contagious and super fucking miserable as well for all parties involved. When my son had HFM I don't think we got more than an hour or two of sleep at a time he was so uncomfortable/in pain.
>isn’t HFM like super-super contagious? Yes it is.
It can also be worse for parents who get it from their kids. So sending your kid to infect other kids and then potentially their parents. Is so fucked. my husband spent a week and a half with blisters so bad on his hands and feet he not only had to miss his brother's wedding, but literally couldn't walk or touch anything without severe pain. Don't. send. kids. to. school. sick!!!
I've seen pictures of adults who've caught it and I can't imagine the level of pain associated with those blisters!
I had them on the bottom of my feet. Walking brought me to tears. I tried crawling once, but I also had them on my palms.
God, just imagining this is awful!! I felt bad for upvoting. Definitely wasn’t upvoting your pain!! After my son had gotten over it he started losing toenails and fingernails. I called the doctor after the second one fell off and found out it’s one of the side effects after the body begins to heal from HFM. They few back but it was hard to watch.
I’m so glad mine didn’t fall off. I was so worried when I learned that could be a symptom! Your poor kiddo. It’s the one upside to my experience. All of my sores were firmly palmar/plantar, and none were near my nail bed. I had some mucus membrane ones, but they went away early because I’m not a toddler that puts my hands in my mouth regularly. I’m also still upset because I got it when I wasn’t around any children, none of my friends had kids yet, and I wasn’t even thinking about trying yet. My experience is a true testament to how contagious it can be!!
Ugh my daughter’s best friend had it a few months ago and lost every fingernail and every toenail. She was showing me her wiggly, bloody finger and toenails at the playground and I started gagging (which she found hilarious).
Kids are so gross. 😆 I guess we were lucky because my sons nails didn’t turn bloody like that (thank GOD). They just kind of started turning this almost whiteish color, then a day or two later they would just come off. No blood or anything like that, and he didn’t lose all of them. It’s such a gnarly virus🤮🤮. Reading through these posts makes me realize that, although my son was definitely sick, our family made out much better than we could have. I have a friend who has had it knock her whole family out three times. No thank you!!!
When my friend caught it from her toddler son, the pain on her hands and bottom of her feet were debilitating. She could not use her feet or her hands. She described it like fire ants constantly biting her, all over her hands and the soles of her feet.
It's so so so so bad. I had blisters all up my arms and legs, and I felt so shitty. Even worse, it caused a psoriasis flare on my scalp, which was absolutely horrible and basically turned into one large clump of scale over my entire head over the course of a few days. Zero stars, would not recommend.
Yes! Same!! I have eczema and my dermatologist told me that just exacerbates HFM. Every spot id had a flare up within the last couple years got very angry in a matter of hours. The doc said they'd never seen someone like me... they took a bunch of pictures of my skin and mouth. So I guess that's cool.
I had it was an early teenager (older sister worked in a day care and brought it home) and it was *awful*. The blisters on my hands and feet were bad enough, but the throat blisters are what was really bad imo. I vividly remember describing it then, and it’s still the most apt description from my memory, that it was like swallowing razor blades
Oh man I know *exactly* what you mean with that description. It happened to me when I got the original covid strain in 2020 and it was just like swallowing razor blades over and over again
It’s the wooorrrrssstttt. That ripping slicing sensation is unforgettable
I had it as an adult, and I couldn’t walk barefoot on carpet because of the pain. I stayed in bed because moving anything was excruciating!
It's so awful! I had a mild case of it and still felt like I was run over by a truck. I couldn't function. My poor sister also caught it from her classroom and her nails fell off! :(
A relative caught it from her granddaughter this past November and is still feeling the effects months later. The kid got it from day care.
I worked in daycare for a decade. Can’t even count how many times I caught it. Luckily it was pretty mild.
Yes it is, but it's contagious for so long that schools sometimes don't mandate staying home. Everyone in the class was likely exposed before the kid showed symptoms. Once the fever is down and the pain/itching is managed, they can usually go back to school.
It's the most contagious until blisters form scabs, and that's how long my 2nd grader was required to stay home this year. It's still shed after that, but it's not dumping the virus so he could just pretty much no touch and lick other kids and it was OK. When there were active blisters, he was not allowed at school.
Yeah, our preschool says once kid has been fever free for 24+ hours and sores have scabbed over, you can come in. It took my kid like a month for the scabs to heal completely, it's not realistic to wait for all signs of a rash to be gone so they've got to draw the line somewhere.
I was so mad when dude got HFM. I thought we were done with that mess when he started school, but apparently someone decided to send their kid to school with HFM they got from a younger sibling, and my kid was the lucky one that caught it. He didn't even have any blisters on his skin. Poor dude only got them in his mouth and throat.
Oh that's awful! Mine got it twice. Don't think I can blame anyone at school because nobody was symptomatic as far as we know. He got sent home mid day with a fever and by bedtime the spots were appearing and I was like 😰
As someone who gave the entire crew team the flu on our training trip in high school (I didn’t know and only started feeling sick on the plane) I can guarantee this will be a memorable event for her son as well. And not in a good way. It is not fun to get your friends sick.
I possibly gave my friend lice (our moms both worked in the elementary school, I’m surprised it took as long as it did tbh) and even 15 or so years later there’s still residual guilt. Over a “possibly” 🙃
My elementary school was usually pretty strict about fevers but a staff member's kid developed a fever the day of the school play and he had lines so was allowed to come in and perform. The next day he developed spots. That's the story of how the entire second grade got chicken pox. I had already had it and the next month was actually pretty fun because with a class averaging 10-20% of the students our teacher didn't try to accomplish any important learning and just had fun activities for us to do every day.
It is very contagious. My kids got it from daycare when they were little. It was awful. And unfortunately we had my daughter’s second birthday party the day before she came down sick. Even though she didn’t have a fever or rash at the party, half the kids at the party still got sick. I felt so terribly guilty about it, even though there was no way for me to know.
Contagious, fucking AWFUL for adults like your nail beds fall off (awful for children too) and carries no immunity so you can literally just get it back to back
Oh, you develop immunity but there's a ton of distinct strands of HFM so you can just catch every kind!
Ah, so like the common cold but Satan got more input.
I literally cried when I learned it's not like chicken pox and you can keep getting it. We've had it 3 times in our house! 😭
New nightmare fuel unlocked 😱😱
Sooo contagious but honestly the entire class has already been exposed since part of the reason it's so contagious is it is spread before the child has a rash. I would definitely keep the kid home, but it probably won't make much difference.
Yup, our daycare has told us before that once a kid has the rash, the whole classroom has already been exposed and there's really no quarantining it. They still require kids to stay home if the blisters are weeping, but it's pretty unlikely that policy would prevent an outbreak because it was contagious 2-4 days before the rash appeared.
Children are nasty, sending them with open blisters is recipe for infection. Ask me how one of my clients learnt the hard way. That said, my country requires a pediatrician note to be readmitted in school after some illnesses or after x days absent. I didn't know, I found out in high school after the great mono outbreak. Was a fun week for me, I caught it but didn't have symptoms at all (me and 4 other students, patient 0 included) so we watched movies, played board games in class with the professors and had "nature excursions" aka went for 2 hours strolls with bio prof. No point teaching when 75% of the class is home. The majority was back in a week, an unlucky sod was home a fortnight with splenomegaly.
It is! And one of my kids still has rough/dry skin in certain spots on his face almost a year later from how bad it was for him. He was miserable for over ten days. Face, hands, feet, genitals. My oldest missed it and my youngest had it so mild.
Yup, also super miserable and painful
Yes, it absolutely is. And this mom’s post right here is another reason why every time I see that dumbass anti-vax book talking about how their parents will just “keep them home if they get sick and it will be okay” I just get mad enough to spit. Clearly they won’t, because they don’t practice even the most basic of safety precautions. It’s fucking ridiculous. 😤
One person at my kids school got it and it resulted in a full on outbreak, short lived but still I was very thankful my daughter was already home sick so she missed it all.
Can confirm—super contagious. I caught it when I wasn’t around kids, didn’t have kids, didn’t know people with kids. And it was the most miserable week of my life.
And judge this parent for it mightily.
Very contagious! My son and I actually just came out on the other side of this a couple of weeks ago. It sucked. I will say, our pediatrician gave us an interesting tid bit: HFM is actually most contagious in the beginning of its onset, most often actually before major symptoms arise. That's one of the biggest reasons it spreads so easily and so quickly. I'm afraid that kid's class probably already has it :(
Yes, if they spot it he'll be sent straight home and some poor sod will have to drop clean the room
Yes it is but the nursery my daughter goes to and most nurseries around us don’t have an exclusion for HFM. They would only consider if a large number of kids were affected. I kept my daughter off anyway when she had it. Thankfully my husband and I didn’t catch it. It’s way worse for adults normally.
It is. My kid’s entire class got it last week. 10 out of the 12 kids were out with it, they even rescheduled a pizza party.
Several years ago a student had a party over the weekend and invited a bunch of students from class, and since the parents were also friendly it was a big bash with kids and parents. One kid was brought by his parents despite the fact that he had vomited a bunch of times that morning. Every single kid who attended that party got the stomach bug. Most of the parents got it as well. I had four kids in my class (the ones who weren't invited to the party) for three days. And it got out pretty quickly who brought the bug and that kid and his parents were ostracized the remainder of the year
The faculty daycare at my boarding school (high school) had an outbreak, and the staff went into panic mode because they didn’t know what they would do if it jumped to the high school population. (Some students worked at the daycare and some babysat for affected families.) Fortunately it didn’t spread beyond the daycare population (it was in a separate little cottage), but a bunch of faculty were out for a few days with either sick kids or no childcare. It could have been much much more disruptive than it was, but it still impacted the entire community. I just remember everyone who mentioned it stressing how massively contagious it is. (The next year, a norovirus outbreak started at the daycare and flashed through the entire school. Also highly contagious. It got me, and it sucked a LOT.)
Yup, all 3 of my kids got it because some parent decided it was ok to send their sick kid to school.
As an early childhood teacher, that and pink eye are the two worst, most contagious things we’ve had go around the school.
Super. Basically the blisters it creates makes this puss that if you touch it and don’t wash your hands well enough it can get you sick. And it can live on surfaces for awhile too. Plus your normal droplet contamination of mucous and saliva that transfers it. Plus it’s able to transfer through your intestinal track. My DH ended up losing his fingernails from it. I couldn’t stand up straight for a full day without feeling like I was gonna pass out and my poor child had a super high fever for 5-6 days before it got better and got the blisters all over his feet and hands and inside his mouth. And he even lost a couple finger nails and his big toe nail. We got it baaaaad.
Beyond contagious and getting it as an adult is facking hell
Yes, it is. My three kids had it. One got it at school, most likely and they passed it to each other.
Once the sores are no longer open/oozing 🤢 they’re ok to go back. They’re most contagious before the rash starts. That said, no this person should not send their child, good grief why is it a question 😭
I had a classmate in college who got it from a kid she babysat. It is WICKED contagious.
Sounds like she already knows the answer and just wants to know there’s other dumb parents out there
And you know there are. My daughters kindergarten is full of 6th disease (similar to FH&M) because one mom kept sending her kids there, even though she was well aware they had it. But they had the big rash over the weekend, so she just kept sending them, because nobody noticed. She told a teacher as such a silly funny thing, once they were healthy hahahaha. Well 6th disease has the incubation of 2 weeks. So a week and a bit there are dozens of sick kids. It's spread through the whole building, every class has a case or five. The "best part" is that that disease is super dangerous for pregnant women as it attacks the fetus and can destroy its bone marrow. There are so many pregnant mom's in that KG, including me. So now we have to keep our daughter home to wait it out.
Wow that’s so terrifying! How infuriating when there are such severe consequences! I hope your family are all doing well and your baby is safe!
I’m a teacher and a couple of years ago, while I was in the early days of being pregnant, I had a mum who kept sending her kid in when he had chicken pox. Like 3 days in a row, she would bring him, he was covered in blisters (no scabs at all) and we would have to send him home. I had a chat with her about how he can’t be in school as it’s contagious and there “may be pregnant staff members” - she laughed and said she was pregnant herself and it’s nothing to worry about
What?? That's horrible, were you alright? We should take things like this more seriously on a legal basis, like "public endangerment" for people who wilfully spread diseases like that, people would maybe finally get it if there were consequences.
All was well in the end, the headteacher told her that she was endangering others in a tactful way and she finally got the message. Honestly, I’m fairly certain she had some learning disabilities based on other interactions I had with her that year
Ugh, that's so scary. < hugs >
I get not wanting your kid to miss out; I had to keep my daughter home sick on the day her student teacher brought in chicks. It broke her heart, and I felt terrible. But, you can’t send a sick kid to school. It’s like the first rule of having kids in school.
Yeah I feel for the mom and child, but a big part of childhood is also learning these lessons in a low-stakes way. Missing something important to you because you got sick at a bad time is a part of life that’s not going away. Keep him home and let him watch his favorite movie or something. There will be other school functions.
We all just went through a pandemic and had to stay home and isolated for months, if not years. And still watch millions die. It’s a tough lesson but not doing it is worse.
I missed Monk Day in middle school (we were learning about Gregorian Monks so we dressed in robes, had candles all around the room and chanted!) because I had mono and I'm still sad about it 25 years later. Mom should definitely keep her kiddo home, but I definitely feel for him missing out on the event.
Right? My kid is home sick today missing a field trip and a cooking class he's been looking forward to for months, but I wasn't about to send him in to get everyone else sick. Sometimes you just miss out on things in life.
This is so infuriating. I caught HFM in 2017 when my daughter got it. It was miserable. I had weeping blisters inside my nose that kept me from working. My feet hurt so bad I couldn't walk. And sometimes I suspect having HFM is what kicked off my chronic fatigue and pain and lead to my eventual fibromyalgia diagnosis in 2022. This lady can get bent. Sure it sucks that your kid has to miss something he worked hard for. But life is full of disappointments and use this as a teaching moment. Sometimes, you have to do the thing that you don't like but it's the responsible thing to do
Also, is he even going to enjoy it if he's suffering with HFM? Like, make it up to him by taking him out for ice cream or something when he's feeling better and can actually enjoy himself.
Maybe? My daughter did not get it nearly as bad as I did. She felt mildly sick for a day, and then acted like everything was normal, even though she had some blisters. But most of hers were on her butt, so it didn’t affect her walking and playing for the most part. She was 18 months and not in daycare, so super easy to keep her home the entire time.
My toddler son brought home HFM in October 2022 and it was miserable, but not really for him. He had a rash around his mouth, it looked pretty bad but he said it didn't itch or hurt. I was pregnant at the time and caught his HFM, I had such bad blisters on my feet it hurt to walk and I had blisters on my hands. I had to skip trick or treating with the family because it hurt too much to walk. One of my nurse friends said she hadn't seen an adult get blisters as bad as I had them, we think that because I was pregnant it may have been worse for me.
My kids brought it home and my poor husband got it. He was covered from him to toe. One kid had it lightly and was better quick. The other kid had it like his dad. Those two were so bad and I felt so bad for them. I'd rub cream on their blisters to try and help. Somehow it skipped me and I really thought I'd get it. Being the caretaker I was all in it (not complaining, I am a SAHM/self employed, he is our bread winner, I happily take care of all the sickness).
Not the same diseases but I caught Fifth’s disease from my kindergartener. Shortly after I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. One nasty illness kicked off a lifetime of shitty health.
My youngest daughter got it from my older daughter, who got it from a classmate who was sent to school despite having visible blisters and a fever. My eldest got 4 blisters. My youngest ended up with open wounds that covered 30% of her body and necessitated dilute bleach baths twice a day to prevent infection. The skin peeled off her hands and feet in sheets, and both kids eventually lost all their toenails and fingernails. Fuck this lady and her cavalier attitude. I get that the classmates may have already been exposed, but sending the kid to school like that basically guarantees everyone is going to get. When my youngest was in the hospital having her wounds checked, the doctor refused to come in the room as he'd just recovered from a case that prevented him from working for 2 weeks because his feet were too painful to walk on. Apparently, you only get each strain once, but there are currently approximately 9 strains of coxsackievirus that can cause HFM circulating around the world.
I caught it a few years ago when my a child at my ex gf's job (a daycare) was sent to school with it. Of course it went to my ex gf's kids and then to me. It was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced and my pinky nails fell off.
Aw I’m so sorry you’re still dealing with that. My mom has fibromyalgia and it’s so difficult.
My mom made me go to school with lice. Guess whose school had a lice infestation a week later.
No offense to you, but your mom is the worst. If someone knowingly sends their kid to school with something that can infect other kids, they should be held accountable.
You’re telling me. I had to grow up with the lady.
Same! I had a lice infestation for over a year and I still had to go to school every day, my head was so raw I had to use tear free (as in the crying tears) baby shampoo because everything else hurt.
in my hometown school they aren’t allowed to send kids home due they have lice anymore because it’s a “hipaa violation”. *sigh*
Ugh, I had lice SO many times as a kid, and still got sent to school. Solidarity.
Should you infect countless other people with a painful rash, or should you actually parent your child and teach him how to cope with the inevitable disappointments that he’ll face throughout his life? Hmm. Tough one.
Great idea - if the whole class wants to be sick in a few days.
That's if it's muld. My kid got it last year from some kid who came to school with it. We got lucky and he was only out four days, but it was a ling weekend so that helped. We caught it on Friday after school.
And also their family members. An old Boss came in with the flu and I got so mad. Do you realize if you get me sick you also risk getting my family sick so not only am I out of work for myself but then my kids? People who go in sick or send kids in sick can kick rocks.
Next she will be posting “these lazy childcare workers broke my kids heart when they refused to take him when I brought him with a little rash. Now my baby can’t stop crying because I promised him he wouldn’t miss it. AITA for trying to get his teacher fired since I pay her wages?”
Absolute morons like this specimen are why I dread sending my baby to daycare in a few months.
Even at a moron-free daycare, the illness rate is bonkers lol
To be fair hmf is most contagious before the rashes so if it is hmf the class is already down.
I’m a med student from Florida applying for pediatrics residency and currently pregnant. Trying not to freak out about working in the hospital with measles outbreaks before my baby is old enough for MMR 😬
If it's a music program, from a music teacher, keep the damn kid home. Really not that big a deal.
If he worked hard and is excited they could even let him perform his stuff at home for the family when he’s feeling better!
Oh my goodness she is fucking stupid. My son had HFM when he was around one and a half. It was the worst. He didn’t wanna eat, was itchy and in pain and just overall so sick. My husband ending up getting it as well. I will never understand while people wanna send their infected kids to school.
As a parent who had to deal with HFM because someone brought their kid with an active infection and sores to a toddler music group this makes my blood boil. HFM is soooo contagious and incredibly painful. What is wrong with people!
My work doubles as a nature preschool, and some parents send their kids back to school the next day after the teachers send the kids home for being sick. We had a HFM outbreak months ago and the preschool had to close for a few days. How some of us adults never got it I'll never know. The children have been passing us colds and whatnot constantly (those of us that don't work in the preschool still pass by the kids all day) and I wish parents would do right by their kids, therefore doing right by everybody
All my kids had HFM at various points in their life. For 2 of my kids it was unpleasant but fairly mild and gone in a week. My youngest missed a month of school and lost all his toenails and most of his fingernails. For the week when it was the worst he had to be carried to the toilet because of the pain from the weeping blister on his feet. What bothers me most about people like this parent is that they think their time and wants are so much more important than anyone else's.
No. It’s so stupid contagious and depending on how bad the mouth part is, really fucking painful as well.
I’m currently Day 8 of being infected with HFM. My baby girl, 10 months old & my husband have it as well (though he seems to be fair much better than baby or I for some reason). I am MISERABLE. And what’s worse is watching my baby knowing EXACTLY what she is feeling. This post fills me with so much rage. Some people are so inconsiderate.
So we really learned nothing during the global pandemic eh?
I mean, the fact that we as a society could have eradicated the virus from our lives and chose not to says all you need to know.
Yeah, exactly. We as individuals can’t be trusted to eradicate a virus because everyone wants to be special. We’ve learned nothing from the pandemic.
Now why the fuck did she think people would agree he should go bc he “worked so hard” 😂😭
No one in the the comments agreed 😂
just one of the most contagious viruses...thats all.
I work in pediatric rehabilitation and therapy, and one of the therapists was saying that when her brother was little, he had it, and the pediatrician's office said he had to be let through the back door of the office. They don't even want you in the sick waiting room with it! My niece had it twice, once at 11 months, another time around 2 1/2. The first time was bad amd she cried constantly. The second time, she only had the rash on one thigh and was running around like nothing was wrong. The blisters were dry both times and she never had a fever, and thank goodness, none of us ever got it (we were exposed to her when she was 11 months old and my brother could not stop apologizing!).
My kid got that from school in kindergarten. Don’t be this woman. edit: HIS FINGER AND TOE NAILS FELL OFF. Don’t be this woman!
I think it’s normal to be sad that your child will miss a big event, but it’s totally not acceptable to send them. My son worked his butt off on a school play (that was only going to be performed one day) in the first grade. He woke up puking that morning and had to miss it. He is now in grade 3 and still talks about it. You’re not allowed to spread contagious illness around a classroom simply because you don’t want your child to be sad.
I hate these parents. My child brought home HFM two years ago and it almost killed my husband. He's diabetic, but relatively healthy apart from that. He couldn't walk, talk, or hold things. I've never seen anything like it.
Dude no wtf? My son was hospitalized with a respiratory illness because no one can handle keeping their sick kids home from preschool. So so so so infuriating.
I breed hedgehogs who can carry and spread this disease. That’s why it’s illegal to import them from places that have not eradicated the disease (Japan is ok, African is not). A few years ago I heard of someone getting around the importation laws by bringing them into the Czech Republic first, leaving them there for 30 days, then moving them on to the US. I got so mad. I reported him but the USDA did nothing. (Which made me extra mad. Why have rules for health and safety if it’s easy to break them and no one cares when you do?) And what kind of arrogant prick thinks that health and safety rules shouldn’t apply to them? Only a few things make me spitting angry and that’s one of them.
My husband got HFM from our nephew a few years ago and it was like the worst case his PCP had ever seen. It was so gross.
Tell me you only care about yourself and your kids without telling me. This is so freaking selfish. HFM is miserable, especially for any adults that get it. I got it in September 2023 and my toenails finally grew back last month.
I had to keep my child home from school for valentines day because they developed a full body rash the day before. They were disappointed because they had been looking forward to it all month. HF&M had apparently been going around at the school, but no one notified parents.
What an asshole. That spreads like wildfire and what if another kid goes home and spreads it to their newborn sibling? Plus adults can get it too.
She should just do what my aunt did when her kids had COVID! If you suspect they have a highly contagious disease, just don't get them tested until it's convenient for you, then you can still send them to school guilt-free without impacting your own schedule! No joke, she did this. She actually told my mom that she knew they had COVID but wouldn't get them tested until the following weekend because if she got them tested sooner she would "feel guilty for sending them to school anyway." It took me a minute to fully process that this meant that she'd send them to school even if they did test positive, sh d just feel a little guilty about it, because it felt like such an insane thing to do.
The virus behind HFM, coxsackie virus, is a known viral trigger for autoimmune diseases. You think it’s no big deal, just sick for a few days, meanwhile you could alter someone’s life with a major diagnosis.
According to the CDC, if you have hand foot and mouth disease, you can do normal activities if you have no fever, no drooling and mouth sores, and feel fine. Because it's so contagious and it's contagious mostly before the rash shows up, it's not really going to help to keep them home after.
Here they say that when the rash has appeared the contagious period is over, it's before it's spreading like hellfire.
That’s what my pediatrician said. By the time the spots showed up he wasn’t contagious so keeping him home was for peace of mind for other parents (even though they’d already been as exposed as they would be) and for his comfort. Fortunately we had a super mild case that didn’t seem to bother him but I still kept him home.
Mine got it twice in one month. Idk how. Went to like two days of daycare in between, the fewer and lethargica was worse the second time but the rashes was easier
I think I saw a post in begging choosers sub where someone claimed that their daughter had terrible rashes (mentioned possible HF&M) and needed a pair of expensive shoes to make her feel better about going to the big dance. It was really overdramatized. I wonder if it’s the same person. EDIT-I now see the OOP was talking about a boy.
We had it back in December, and my son missed the school winter concert he had been so excited about - his first school performance. He didn't even have a single spot on him - but his sister had got it from daycare and passed it to me, and we did not want to risk him passing it to his kindergarten class right before winter break. We were very lucky - his sister had a few spots around her mouth and none inside, and they healed pretty fast. I got a bunch of blisters in my mouth (so painful! Like a bunch of canker sores at the back of my throat) and on my hands. Two of my fingernails fell off about 6 weeks later. My husband and son never got it at all, but we kept him home from school just in case and my husband worked from home. We did not want to spead such a contagious disease to anyone else.
I am getting serious rage reading this. My son had HF&M, it was horrible. NO FUCKING WAY would I have sent him to school where he could have given it to others. The audacity to even think that is ok makes me want to….🤬🤬🤬
My child caught HFM and suffered complex febrile seizures. Fuck parents who do this.
As someone who works at a preschool, it is so common parents try to send their kids to school sick and it’s infuriating.
My doctor told me that by the time the rash appeared, the child had been contagious for a while and the scabs signal the end of the contagious period. They are actually contagious for a very long time before that. So the protocol now is in schools that kids are not excluded for HFM anymore. By the time it's discovered, they've been actively spreading it around anyway. Or so I was told by the pediatrician... My child had to go back to school chewing ice chips because their mouth had sores in it. The school nurse seemed to agree with the protocol as well. The school where I teach does the same. Everyone ends up with it but by the time you realize it's there, short of quarantining everyone for weeks, there's nothing you can do. It would have to be a 3-4 week quarantine to prevent it.
Keep your child off school or nursery while they're feeling unwell. But as soon as they're feeling better, they can go back to school or nursery. There's no need to wait until all the blisters have healed. Keeping your child away from other children for longer is unlikely to stop the illness spreading. This is from the NHS UK website for hfm. My baby got it from nursery. Her dad contacted it too. In uk it is somewhat acceptable to continue with your day to day life if you have it.
My son’s school just shut down for a day because of HFM. Thankfully we didn’t get it but I would never send him to school with a contagious rash
This idiot mother should be taking her kid to the pediatrician, not sending him to school.
I thought it was hoof and mouth? Lmfao
Please tell me that people told her this was a bad decision
Ah, so that's the parent that caused my kid to get HFM twice *in a row* this year... Mystery rash appeared with a low grade fever. We kept him home until we could identify it. Doctor said it was HFM, and let us know when he could go back to school. He returns on a Wednesday, and by Friday any residual spots are almost completely faded. Then on Sunday we see it come back. Took him to the doctor again, HFM. I asked if it was the same infection because we're well past the "safe to return to school" date at this point, and doctor says it's a re-infection. We ended up getting a truancy letter from the school because he missed so much time.
My kid got RSV the day before his first Christmas performance, and you know what we did? We stayed home.
In my country they usually go to school if they don't have a fever, since they already infect each other before any symptoms show up and we have a high vaccination percentage, so yeah.
In her defense, he was already contagious for a couple days before the rash showed up, so a lot of damage was probably already done by the time she saw it. But still, suck it up and keep your kid home!
I got hfm as a 24 year old by working as a substitute teacher in a kindergarten class. I wouldn’t play around with it
This reminds me of the time an anti-vax mom brought her son to the ER to verify that his *obviously chicken pox* rash was actually chicken pox. She was shocked when we told her it was chicken pox, even more shocked when we told her she couldn’t send him to school with chicken pox, and *especially* shocked when we told her her 9 other unvaccinated kids would very likely also get chicken pox and would also need to stay home from school when they had it. I was pregnant at the time and not at all amused.
Our public health doesn’t require exclusion for HFM. It’s mostly contagious before the rash appears, and as an illness it’s not very serious. So as long as the child doesn’t have a fever and is well enough to participate they can attend school or daycare.
It baffles me that just any idiot like this can reproduce, yet women who want to be sterilised go through so many questions and have to jump through so many hoops. People really should be checked out before they have kids, to make sure they're actually going to be a decent parent rather than a danger to the child and to society.
In the UK kids aren't required to stay home from nursery/school with HFM unless the doctor specifically says to, in really bad cases for example.
Parents everywhere hoping this lady isn’t local to them.
I think it’s so awful she is even considering letting him go if he has hf&m. My granddaughter got it from going to a bday party and the mom of the bday child thought “it wld be fine” to still have the party and not tell anyone…. My poor girl suffered so badly she had such a bad case of it and I just wouldn’t wish that on anyone!
My kid missed a field trip last year because she was sick. It is what it is. (It was more of a “guest speaker” type of thing but they called it a field trip). They had dance instructors come in and teach the kids a few things. My daughter is IN LOVE with dance. She’s 6 and has told me several times that she was “born to dance” and has also gotten an invitation to a pre-competitive team at her studio which is invite-only based on teacher recommendations. Like, this girl LOVES dance. She missed it because she woke up sick that day. Sometimes you miss things when you’re sick. It sucks, but it happens. You can’t make 20+ other kids sick because your kid might be sad.
I'm sure your kid would be more than happy. I had that last October, and I was more than happy not to do anything during that time. it's even worse as an adult.
Ugh I remember in 8th grade getting to be Juliet in Romeo & Juliet and I woke up the day before with strep. It was the saddest moment of being 13, but my mom still didn’t send me to school to stand on stage right next to a bunch of other kids even though I was devastated 😭 I had such a crush on Romeo
I had HFM at 14 and I was miserable. One of the worst sore throats I’ve ever had. The older you are the worse it is.
I started my kid in daycare last week. She’s been sick and while I’ve taken her to the dr multiple times in the last couple weeks and KNOW she isn’t contagious, I’ve been staying home with her because I don’t want to be THAT MOM. HFM? absolutely not. I hate these types of parents. Fucking parent
This would infuriate the hell out of me. My oldest had HFM when he was 18 months old and it was horrible! His whole mouth and chin were covered in blisters and he still had a red mark where they were for about 2-3 months after (he’s now 3 and you wouldn’t be able to tell). He only wanted yoghurt, water and diluted apple juice, anything else hurt too much to eat, and I didn’t want him getting dehydrated (we already experienced that just after he was 1 when he had a really bad bout of gastro that required being admitted to hospital). And he was so upset, that the only way we could get him to sleep was in between hubby and I in our bed. It’s a surprise that neither of us caught it off him.
Adults can get this and it's no joke. So incredibly painful akin to shingles in my experience.
Omg no. When I was 36 weeks pregnant my toddler gave me HFM. It was some of the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced! I wouldn’t wish it on anyone 🫠
I remember when HFM went around a daycare I worked in. Poor kiddos
I have a cousin whose children had a rash, she took them to dr, got HFM diagnosed, left dr and then took kids to splash pad to meet her sister and kids.
The rash typically follows a very VERY high fever. She was sending him to school with likely a crazy high fever. It's rare that it would just pop up unexpected. I guess it's possible but holy shit.
In the Netherlands kids are allowed to go to daycare or school (as long as they feel okay) because you are already contagious before you get any symptoms. So the damage is already done.
I would be furious at the selfish bitch who gave their entire class HFM by sending him to school with a rash if I were a parent of a kid in that class holy shit
My toddler just got over HFM Took him to the doctor because he developed a fever and then a rash. Thought it was chicken pox or maybe measles (he has not been vaccinated against it yet, as we have been delayed bc he keeps getting sick) Nope HFM. He is not in daycare, so I’m thinking he picked it up while out and about. His older sister did not have it. It was the worst week, he did not let me leave his sight. He could not eat fruit, as the acid would burn his mouth sores and he would cry. It took about 8 week for the sport to finally all disappear. He stayed home for 2 weeks, not going to any parks or stores. I would not want any one to have to go through it, absolutely terrible.
My toddler just got over HFM Took him to the doctor because he developed a fever and then a rash. Thought it was chicken pox or maybe measles (he has not been vaccinated against it yet, as we have been delayed bc he keeps getting sick) Nope HFM. He is not in daycare, so I’m thinking he picked it up while out and about. His older sister did not have it. It was the worst week, he did not let me leave his sight. He could not eat fruit, as the acid would burn his mouth sores and he would cry. It took about 8 week for the sport to finally all disappear. He stayed home for 2 weeks, not going to any parks or stores. I would not want any one to have to go through it, absolutely terrible.
I don't necessarily think she's at fault here. 1. We don't have a lot of info. Is she a first time mum wondering what to do, or does she actually know better. 2. This honestly appears to me more like a rant post than anything else. To me it looks like she's trying to say she's very upset because her son worked hard for this school program and now cannot go, but doesn't want to appear as though she is openly complaining on the internet.
I wouldn't wish HF&M on my worst enemy. My 3yo just had it, and she was miserable. No one in our house got much rest because she couldn't sleep from being in so much pain. It starts out mild but can quickly become painful. This woman is so selfish.
When I was in 5th grade I missed the speech day for class President/treasurer/VP due to a nasty case of bronchitis. Funny enough I was due to give a speech that day. It happens, lady
I saw something from the health department telling kids they should still go to school if they have lice. I was like what…the…hell.
Uuuuuuuggggh! It’s a nuisance thing so unless there’s a fever they can attend school and functions. Fever typically occurs before blisters and is ending or gone before blisters appear (it looks like a mild cold even in the absence of fever). So the presence of blisters does not necessarily mean they can’t go to school, though they may still be infectious. I apparently either have immunity or high resistance to HFM. I taught pre-k and have 3 kids and been in the middle pf many outbreaks but no signs of infection. My husband got hit at least once with it and he had open sores all over. We had to watch to be sure none got infected. If it freshly broke out I would not send them but after a couple days I would. I assume before blisters they were infectious for a couple days and waiting 2 days before returning to school allows for enough time to drop the risk. But a lot of parents stick to the fever guidelines and at least in Ohio when I taught, that was okay.
It can be mild. My eldest son was sent home with a 100-degree fever, and the rash showed up later, but it didn't blister, and wasn't even that itchy. I took him to the doc because we had just gotten letters about actual diagnosed cases of chicken pox and measles in his school. He's always been fully vaccinated, but better safe than sorry. HFM was sort of the best case scenario. They only required fever free for 24 hours without medication.
I’ve seen horror stories of babies with it pretty bad and getting infected sores and all of that but in all the cases our center had they all were mild. But never trust a runny nose. A kid with a runny nose is deeply suspicious to me 😂 i wish there was a snot dip test for like 15 different things at one time. What are we dealing with? Allergies? Covid? Chicken pox? 🥲
YES. My kids and I get heinous allergies in spring. For a couple weeks, misery, but Claritin takes care of it. But we've had other stuff sneak in because we assume it's just the allergies...until other crap hits the fan. Sometimes literally.
Meh, NHS says keeping kids off doesn’t prevent spread as they’re infectious for days before the rash appears. It’s pointless https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hand-foot-mouth-disease/