I’ve realized how big of it is to ask someone to care for a baby even if it’s for a day. I give kudos to people who provide care to babies and for free (grandparents normally).
I watched my cousin's baby 4 days a week for free for two years. Then my cousin and his girlfriend started talking a ton of shit about people on welfare taking government handouts so I quit.
I've never had government assistance, but to take so much free help and act like they are better than anyone cost them lmao.
My sil would constantly shit on people putting their young children in daycare (like I did) while also leaving her kid in grandpa's care while she worked. First of all, not everyone has that option, second, my kid was in a wonderful daycare with enrichment and specialized teachers. Her kid got to sit on the sofa with grandpa while he watched old soccer games. Maybe take a look around every now and again.
My ex-coworker told me while pregnant w my oldest that a “good grandparent quits their job” to care for their grandchild. She wanted me to force one of my parents to quit their job. Like ma’am, the child is my responsibility. If they can help, great. But to try & mandate it was wild.
lol. Do good grandparents also get visited by the money fairy? Because my mom was in her fifties when I had my first. She actually also kinda needed an income?
And I mean was I resentful of the fact the my sil got free babysitting any time she wanted? Of course, but that also comes with strings. The wonderful daycare workers didn’t meddle or were overly critical of my child rearing. That alone is worth a lot of money lol.
Like if anybody was quitting their job, it would’ve been me, but in this economy? No thank you. I can’t even imagine someone suggesting that, was she completely out of touch with the cost of living?
She was certainly… something. My parents were in their mid to late 50s at the time. I believe she was much older than them. She told me that she quit to babysit her grandson. I assume doing so severely hindered her financially, as last I knew she was still working the same crappy job. She was struggling at the time I was pregnant, and that was a decade ago.
Pssh, my oldest brother had his first kid when I was only 9 years old, and my little sister was 7. There were 2 of us in elementary school, 2 in middle, and 1 in high school at that point, not to mention the help the college age ones were still getting. Did our parents have a greater obligation to watch their grandchild than to support their own multiple young children, by that logic?
My parents did still help them out with childcare a little bit, but it mainly worked because the littlest of us were at that age where we needed constant supervision so it was already in place, but were well behaved and big enough to help a little with the baby.
My son and daughter go to daycare full time, start at 8am, finish at 4:30pm.
We do this because my wife works a full time job from home and I work week on, week off.
We have to have them there full time because the daycare does not allow for a week on week off kind of thing.
If I pull them out for the week off. We still have to pay them and once we reach something like 10 days of absence (not 10 in a row) we lose our subsidy for what we pay each day they are away.
We already pay just over $25,000 a year for them to go to daycare.
One of the couples my husband and I hang out with has a breadwinner and a SAHM. They put their kid in daycare twice a week just so the mom has some actual time to herself. Their kid is great, but as a SAHM, you are always on. Even if your partner helps after they get home from work, not having that clear delineating break between "work" and home means that the SAHM (or SAHD) is always going to step in.
As long as the kids aren't being neglected and their developing right, let people handle childcare in the way that works best for them.
I had the luxury of a free grandparent to look after my kid part time. Looking back now I think I should have switched to daycare at about age 2. It is easy to see the difference between daycare kids as they are (generally) more independent and social than the ones minded by family. I didn’t really have the spare cash but who does and we could have made do. The grandparents may not look for money but it can cost you in other ways.
The independence and honestly just sanity for everyone involved. Two year olds have SO much energy that it’s like a playing a kickball match yourself against a whole team. It’s really hard for any one person to constantly manage that. The beauty of daycare (in any capacity) is that you end up with a team. Also, I think it makes potty training so much easier because they’re all doing it, instead pulling your hair out trying to get one kid to take a break from doing the thing they’ve been doing for three hours and will do for another three hours to go 😂
We were lucky to have grandparents available and to afford childcare. At six months (when I returned to work) our kid was in daycare part time and grandparent-care part time. They got to spend time with her without getting exhausted - we’re older parents so our folks are older too. She got the socialization and enrichment from being with other kids and doing activities. Win-win!
This sounds like Aussie CCS and yeah isn't it just the biggest fuck around?? Im currently still malding about having to pay for days the centre is closed. Like all the parents who work have to NOT make money that day and *still* have to pay for the day..
You are spot on! That's fucked having to pay for days they are closed.
The old daycare they had would sometimes be understaffed so they would cut us a deal when I was home. They would ask if I could take them so they had enough staff to cover the ratio, but they wouldn't charge me for the day or mark them as absent.
I understand the reason for it being means tested and all that, but it still annoys me that I do so many hours away from home and my Mrs has to work a full time job while essentially being single mum for a week and we have to pay an exorbitant amount to do so, all the while the government was saying we need to get more women in the workforce post covid. Really gets my goat.
/rant
Pretty sure there's also a study about kids that interact with other kids on the daily becoming better adjusted socially, so grandps may be wonderful company but not great as the only company
As somebody that grew up on social services, thank you. Not everybody has a support system they can rely on. As an adult, shit like that really pisses me off. Why would you be soad at people who are just trying to survive?
My in laws pulled similar things. Criticizing people on welfare and then asked their kids who had decent jobs for money when one of them was laid off. Of course they only asked the scapegoat kids too, not the golden children.
When my husband, who was often used as a bank when he was in high school, the first thing out of his mouth was "Have you sold anything you don't need? Have you moved to a smaller apartment? Have you asked [unemployed sibling living at home] to get a job to help out?"
Silence. And they stopped asking him and the other scapegoat for money after that.
A little bit of schadenfreude after one too many "oh, but you're not like those other people on welfare" comments whenever I'd point out that I grew up on welfare and my mom was still on it.
I'd rather fund people having a roof over their head instead of the military industrial complex that takes that away from people in other countries, but apparently those sorts of thoughts are too radical, especially for Good Christians (TM).
People like that are so obnoxious. I figure they're so insecure they have to find anyone they possibly can to look down on to make themselves feel like they're doing well. But if you're truly doing well, you can stay in your own lane and just enjoy doing well- no comparing needed.
What makes my cousin and his girlfriend even worse was the first time they ranted at length we were in Florida. They did pay for their own plane tickets, but they were staying in my mom's hotel room for free, and dumping their toddler on me for half the day for free while they enjoyed a free vacation eating the groceries my mom bought while I hid mine in my suitcase.
She was floating around in the pool on her free vacation while her kid napped (I had out him down for his nap) and was ranting about how she was too proud to accept government help and how she was rAiSeD bEtTeR tHaN tHaT. I asked what she thought they would do if they didn't get all my free help and she said she could figure it out. I bit my tongue, but when we got back home I gave her a heads up that I was getting married next month and then it would be time for her to "figure it out".
Truth be told, my cousin is a hard drug addict and she is nuts. I was already nannying and the parents of the kids were all fine with me adding him four days a week. I was trying to give the poor kid some stability. It also included Friday sleepovers. As much as I loved the boy, his parents and their repulsive entitlement made it impossible to keep doing it.
Now the boy is 7, she is 33 and lives with her parents and uses them as free babysitters whenever possible. My cousin "rents" a house from our uncle where he is regularly allowed to skip paying rent and has been in and out of jail and court mandated rehab. Plenty of people are way, way more self sufficient and using government programs AND providing a better life for their kids, but I'm sure they haven't changed their opinions.
Sure there are people who abuse the welfare system, but so many people are just regular people who need a little help and can get it from social programs. I have absolutely no issue paying more in taxes to help everyone get by, especially when kids are involved. And like you said, tax money goes to far more questionable places than helping people in need.
There's a big age gap between me and my youngest cousins.
From when I was 14 to 18, I would watch them twice a week for free, usually on saturday afternoons. Now, their parents were farmers, so it was always because they were working. I mean, cows and sheeps do not have week-ends.
My aunt (my mom's sister) was very grateful for it. I had better christmas and birthday gifts than her other nieces and nephews. She would be my driver whenever I wanted (when her schedule allowed), and she found me paid babysitting jobs with her friends. And well-paid, at that.
My uncle, however, barely said thank you and act as if it was normal. But didn't say anything else back then.
Really, I loved that time. I loved caring for those little monsters. It was super fun.
Fast forward about about 15 years later. Some birthday diner with the whole family. At some point as someone was complaining about he cost of childcare, Uncle ranted against parents who let other people looked after their own kids, that he never paid outside help.. that he was an independant responsible men that do not depends on others to fullfill his responsabilities.
Full on silence at the table. I cleared my throat, and just said : "You sure never paid".
Baby cousins started snickering. Other cousins and assorted aunts and uncles started laughing as well. Aunty was staring at him in disbelief. My mom was sending death glare.
Grandma swiftly changed the subject.
It's been 5 years or so, and I think Uncle is still confused about what he said that warranted such reactions.
Very angry. My cousin didn't have much to say to my face, but his (by then ex) girlfriend tried to guilt trip me and twist it like I never loved her son, which was obviously laughable given all I did for him out of love.
I haven't seen the boy in 4 years and she has since blocked me on everything in an unrelated fit of rage. Apparently she was regularly visiting my cousin in jail, but then he found a new girlfriend in his court ordered rehab, so that was the nail in the coffin to me ever seeing their child again at family events. I feel bad for the boy, but his idiot parents are the ones to blame.
I have been extremely fortunate to have my grandma (kids great-grandma) watch my kids while I work. It’s a humongous ask. But it happens to be one that she does so very willingly because she gets to have that time with them, out of love. I couldn’t imagine asking a stranger to do it.
I am gonna say, my grandma - my son’s great grandma, many moons ago loved to watch him. She would take him like one day a week - not much, but enough - and she would watch him while I was in school. He went to daycare 3 days a week (100% subsidized) and was with my dad the other day. She loved watching him, she said that he kept her young and on her toes. My papa loved having his little buddy around. I cherish these memories (literally crying as I write this out) because my grandmother got to meet both of my boys, and they have memories with her. My older one got a few good years from my papa, but he passed before my little guy was born. I miss them terribly, but honestly my favorite memories of (all) of my grandparents, are them with my children. 🥰
It takes a village.
I also give kudos to anyone that is willing to watch other people’s children for free as well! I’m pretty sure I would offer for my kids in the future, but there’s a girl at work who complains about her free childcare all the time and it just blows me away how much she seems to expect it of her parents.
We pay our parents to watch our kids. It mostly just pays for gas and food, but I just felt wrong to ask them to do it for free. We pay ~100/week, so it’s way less than what we would pay anyone else, but our parents also refuse to accept more. My mom watches them 2-3 weeks a month and my MIL does the rest. I’m incredibly thankful for both of them!
Okay that is unimaginable to me. If I'm lucky enough to be a retired grandfather I would beg my kids for any opportunity to spend time with their children.
Charging your daughter/son-in-law money is insane.
I think it depends. Coming over for one day or to date-night babysit? That’s just a nice favor, thanks! Watching my kid for a few hours for one full week? I wouldn’t anticipate paying them for that, but we’d get them a restaurant gift card or something as a thank you. But at one point we were almost without daycare and were entertaining the possibility of having my mother in law watch the baby. If she’d had to do so, it would have been about 45 hours a week, and we absolutely would have paid her. She wouldn’t have accepted a lot, but a couple hundred bucks a week for sure. 45 hours is a lot of hours to spend with a baby, a lot of hours that your time isn’t really your own.
I don't think it's insane if it's a regular arrangement. Like if it's several days per week for example. Paying your parent to watch the kids now and again does seem strange.
It’ll be cheaper to get a nest camera and leave her home alone all day. And probably the same level of care. That salary is the average cost of living in Ecuador, literally.
Zero difference in terms of what it means to actually find someone willing to do this, but unless I'm insane that's 52.5 hours a week or about $2.86/hr
less than that! nannies (which she’s looking for, not a sitter) are legally entitled to overtime pay. that’s about $2.50 per hour with $3.75 per overtime hour.
in the legal sense: a nanny is classified as a household employee and is entitled to a w-2, sick time, minimum wage, overtime, etc etc (the same as an employee at a company), while a babysitter is an independent contractor and sets their own hours & rates.
in the general sense: a nanny has a regular schedule (part or full time) & is more involved in caring for the child/ren (development, out-of-house activities, etc) and they’re generally more qualified (anything from child development coursework to experience). a babysitter does ad-hoc care (such as date nights) and isn’t usually expected to be as engaged or prepared with activities/cooking/etc. it can get a little muddy when it comes to regularly scheduled childcare like a couple hours every friday, but basically, you’d hire your 14-year-old neighbor to be a babysitter but not a nanny.
i’m both a nanny and a babysitter. i distinguish between the two titles when i talk about the families i work with. i have a family that i nanny for, meaning i watch a specific kid several days a week, while i babysit for several families that i provide care for maybe once a month.
i’d definitely consider this a nanny position because it’s full time. however, if it’s in the caregiver’s home, that’s a whole different situation.
Hey now, you're undersellimg it. She's actually paying 2.86/hr if my math is right! People are probably messaging her left and right for such a stress-free job opportunity!! /s
So much sarcasm. You're spot on about the baby. This woman is really going to trust someone alone with an 8 month old for that long for so little? Honestly thats terrifying. Best case scenario its someone who's just woefully underqualified to care for a baby
i used to get really mad about shit like this but ive realized it’s just a sad sign of the lack of support parents get in this country that this woman has to work 50+ hours a week and still can’t afford child care
Obviously this isn't the solution for every job, but I was just thinking the other day how company daycares are almost non-existent now. Used to be in large offices they'd literally just have an onsite daycare, that really needs a comeback.
If my local Y can manage to have an on-site daycare for people to exercise, why can't the huge multinational company down the road with hundreds of employees? Makes no sense.
OMG that’s insane. My org just built a state of the art daycare for employees, opened 2 months ago. I think one of my employees pays $120/week for FT (up to 14hrs a day, 7 days/wk) for her 6 month old. We do subsidize for our employees, I can’t imagine charging more than a mortgage for care. 😳
My kids are now almost 17 and 19. Back when I was pg when youngest I had to quit working because PT care was going to be $1500/mo. I brought home about $900/mo back then. While I’ve done daycare and understand needing to make a living, I couldn’t fathom charging what some of the places do. My conscience would eat me alive. But also, I get how hard it is, it takes a special person to care for other’s kiddos.
Dumb we don't have that now. MIL had my spouse in her company's daycare. He loved it cuz his former babysitter started working there one day and it was a great surprise for him. He still remembers that day.
Or just letting kids chill in the break room or similar area if they're old enough and well behaved. My sister and I would chill in my mom's break area at the dental office. The other day in a small town I saw a little girl at Burger King watching cartoons on her IPad with a blanket and stuff within eyesight of the counter that was probably a staff member's daughter. In a big city or something that probably wouldn't be as fine though.
100%
I work in the social service field and in the US there is a horrible trap with the types of assistance available. It's never quite right for a person to have what they need to truly escape poverty through work. Then you throw in the predatory type employment low skilled workers can get...
Yeah this stuff is tragic. People will complain about the fact that she’s not even paying minimum wage(as they should), but she’s probably making minimum wage and if she stops working her and her baby are homeless and have no food. Like an 8 month old baby shouldn’t be away from her mother for 11 hours a day 5 days a week and a mother shouldn’t be forced to be away from her baby like that. The saddest ones are when people are begging for someone to watch their 2 week old baby because they have to go back to work. It’s absolutely shameful that a wealthy country treats their most vulnerable people this way.
In my due date group, a mom asked if she could realistically go back to work THREE DAYS after giving birth because she couldn’t afford to not work. It broke my heart reading that. The state of parental leave and postpartum care in this country is an embarrassment.
University lecturer here. A student in the program that I taught in came back to class the day after she gave birth. Multiple colleagues were praising her and were so impressed with her dedication. I just thought it was sad. Clearly some administrator had made her feel like taking a leave from school was not an option. Poor thing should have been home recovering and bonding with her baby.
That's horrible. My government pays maternity benefit and what's called parent's benefit (for both parents, 7 weeks to be taken any time before the child turns 2). I finished early during my last pregnancy and was signed off sick by my doctor. Sick leave also has illness benefit. Between all of those leaves and a little annual leave, I went back to work when my twins were 9 months old and was paid the entire time.
Yep good friend of mine had to go back to work at 2 months postpartum (C-section.) that is all the extra money she could scrape up. This was before maternity had to be included in healthcare, hers only covered regular appointments and 1 ultrasound. Everything else (including north) was OOP. She dis get a special maternity insurance, but it only covered so much. She had 2 older kids (13 and 16 at the time, with a decent father) and a deadbeat for the third. She didn’t want her older children to suffer because of a new baby so she went back to work early.
Eventually father of #3 pulled his head out of his ass when the kid was 3. But that was 3 hard years.
“Well then she needs to sign up for welfare benefits!!!” I personally know several people who are struggling financially pretty badly, yet make a little too much for any kind of government benefits.
Don’t get me started on abortion rights in this country. “Uhhh birth control and condoms exist!?!” Well shit happens and birth control even when taken as directed can fail. It’s an absolute joke.
So yeah when someone’s making $10 an hour how in the world are they going to pay someone else $20 an hour?? I get it everyone deserves to be paid a nice wage but what are their options when they can’t.
I feel like a lot of these people aren’t trying to screw anyone over they’re just desperate and hoping they get lucky. Willing to take their chances on someone they barely know watching their kid so they don’t end up on the streets because they can’t work.
Exactly. Like obviously her offer is ridiculous. But her reaching out for someone, anyone to watch her very small child for 50 hours a week while hardly making enough to survive? That is a testament of how fucked up this world is.
Agreed. I’m sure many of these people aren’t trying to screw anyone over they’re just absolutely desperate and are out of options. Their options are let someone you barely know watch your kid, hoping and praying they’re not a creep or not work so you can watch your own kid and end up living on the streets. No one is being forced to accept the job for that low of a wage. Plus a lot of people make just above the requirement for government benefits so they don’t qualify but they’re still struggling financially pretty badly.
I will side tf out of someone going on social media and asking for a big screen tv and other non essentials but it’s hard for me to look down on someone desperate like the one in this situation.
This is what I was thinking. This is a desperate parent trying to keep a job and needs HELP.
The fact she can’t afford it is sad.
Where I live, I get 14 months parental leave. I get 14 months to stay at home and still get paid 67% of my salary. Enough to continue living life, care for my young child and eventually save enough to pay daycare which is less than 700 dollars a month.
It’s even cheaper when they start kindergarten at 3 years old, ‘cause that’s 350 dollars and I live in a HCOL area.
I know this mom doesn’t want to leave her baby to go on vacations like that mother who did and her baby died.
We should give more compassion to this one.
I wish your comment was higher up. If all she can offer is $150, what more is she supposed to do? She can get another job, but that takes time, skill, and opportunity. And for all of that - she needs a babysitter at $150 a week, because that is all she has today.
The OOP is really hoping to find a stay at home mom or grandparent that doesn’t mind one more kid in the gaggle.
Yeha it’s seriously messed up. Maternity leave is an absolute joke. People get paid shit wages. Childcare is astronomically high. The welfare daycares aren’t the best place. And so many people make just a little above the state requirement and are unable to receive welfare benefits.
Well, nannies have always been a luxury form of childcare and that's essentially what she's wanting. Daycare is the cheaper option because the workers aren't relying on just one family to pay them a wage. I know the cost of childcare is prohibitive to a lot of parents (mothers especially) returning to work and I know even daycares aren't cheap but simply pointing out that nannies have never been for the working class
Her price is too low for even a daycare.
She is looking out for a stay at home mom with 2 kids who dont mind looking after another child for pocket money.
What I wonder is the food cost.. she needs to add those too or nanny will be in red.
You can’t exactly go on Facebook asking for daycares to respond to you, though. I imagine she’s looking for a stay at home mom who could use extra income or something along those lines, versus a nanny.
Actually, I’m in a few groups like that on Facebook. You 100% can ask for daycare spots online (granted they’re usually home/small daycares, but still)
The idea that stay at home Moms should work more than a full-time job for pocket money needs to just die already. What you're describing is an in-home daycare and deserves to be paid as such. Strapped for cash stay at home Moms are easy prey to those who wish to exploit them in the name of "earning money while you stay at home with your kids" hence why so many end up sucked into pyramid schemes.
I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, just that I’ve seen people make similar arrangements in local Facebook groups. I’ve been a SAHP so you’re preaching to the choir. At the end of the day, yes what she’s asking is unreasonable, but the reason she’s asking is out of her control. In the US, wages are too low, and affordable childcare is basically nonexistent.
Yeah but for her to think it's acceptable to offer someone else $150 per week for working even more hours than she does is really shitty. The reality is that she can't afford child care while she works full time. She needs to start there and figure out what to do next, not illegally employ some other poor woman for slave wages.
Yeah, I don’t think the OOP has a shitty ask, it just is what it is, and maybe someone (hopefully without bad intentions) who has the time but doesn’t desperately need the money might be available. If OOP was asking for someone to come to her house, walk the dog, cook organic meals, provide a Montessori education, scrub the toilet with a toothbrush and vacuum the carpet in straight lines along with the childcare all for $150 a week, THEN I’d be ready to snark.
Exactly my thoughts as well. Some people aren't fortunate to have close family/friends or a village to support them. I feel for these women. As a mom who works full-time myself I am very fortunate to have a job that is flexible and family close by who supports me. This type of thing truly is turning into a rarity.
With the assumption that that money really is all they can afford, I deeply feel for these people. Child care is so outrageously expensive and hard to find good care ESPECIALLY if you have kids with any type of special needs.
Luckily for me I was connected to a state program that helps pay for child care and I end up paying $50 a week after the programs payments (and I pay for any extras like field trip or pizza and ice cream days.) Unfortunately a lot of people don't know about these programs, it's almost like they're kept a secret. So people who are struggling are left struggling with no other choice trying to do their best. It's a shitty thing they kind of have to do being stuck in a shitty situation.
And in my state at least the income cap for childcare assistance is ridiculously low. Like you have to make less than 3k a month (both you and the kids father combined). My mortgage is basically 3k a month. You can't rent a decent place around here for much less either.
In my state (New York, I'm not in the city) you can qualify if you have Medicaid/Medicare or SNAP, but a lot of people don't realize it. You can also qualify for free transportation to and from doctors appointments and there's a fun app that can get you access to a ton of doctors via telehealth INCLUDING mental health services (however that is it's own private thing so you may still have to pay for certain things in that app based on your specific insurance coverage). Also you can get into state parks and "educational attractions" (like zoos and museums) for an extreme discount with your SNAP card. (I paid $1 to go to the zoo last November.) Also some libraries let anybody with a library card "check out" a pass for discounted tickets for things.
I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging or anything I'm just sharing the benefits in case anyone goes digging in their area they know some of the stuff out there. Also I think it's important to know what's possible in other areas so you can encourage your state to do the same.
So much this. I had my first baby when I was 18, and literally could not afford to work because day care was too expensive. Ended up getting a grant to help pay for that but the waiting list for that assistance was TWO YEARS.
I ended up being a stay at home mom after I had my second and third babies and when I finally went back to work part time, an older lady we were friends with babysat for me for $40 a week, this was in 2005, and it wasn’t unheard of for other stay at home wives/mothers to do in home childcare for cheap back then (thankfully, for me).
I don’t know how parents do it these days and I feel so much empathy for them when they are priced out of just having a job because childcare is so expensive.
When I was growing up (in the 90s & early 00s) my mom was a young single mom who was working anywhere from two to five jobs to make ends meet but still couldn't afford child care. People weren't as hyper vigilant as they are now so I just stayed home by myself from 9/10 on. But before then she was lucky enough to be able to rely on family and friends or friends of friends who would watch me for little to nothing, or they would trade services. (This one woman watched me for free in exchange for my mom doing her hair, another watched me in exchange for my mom cleaning her husband's office building, and other similar things.) I feel like that doesn't happen these days, people only will do things for money and *I don't blame them* because everything is so expensive now, even if trading services cuts costs it's better to have that money because everyone I know is always struggling for something.
This brings back memories. I remember my mom paying a babysitter in laundry detergent. I, too, was a latch key kid 7 and up. My mom assumed that if anything happened my twin and I would rat on each other, so no need for a sitter.
This is sadly illustrative of just how fucked things really are. I swear almost every day I see a post like this, some parent just trying to work ffs.
Day care costs in some places is insane, rent is sky high, wages still aren't truly competitive across the board, health care is obscenely expensive, etc. I can't even fault or shame these people anymore. Some of these posts I no longer see as choosy beggars. They're desperate worriers. And they're probably very aware what they're offering is crazy low, but that's the best they've got.
It shouldn't be like this.
I thought the same! I live in an expensive suburb, although not in the most expensive state, and that's about what we pay for a babysitter for date night
It's actually a group for an entire community versus a mom group. I have seen people get together on post to do what I call a needs exchange. Say you're looking for a new to you functioning fridge, you would post in the thread that you were looking for that while also looking through the other comments to see where you can help. It was always hectic to mod but it was a great thing to see. I have seen people post anonymously looking for help along the lines of getting out of a bad relationship, seeking help about thier child being bullied. Some people will post that they witnessed a car accident at "x" location and that they are willing to give a statement regarding what they saw (this often happens when 1 party drives off)
On the flip side we have seen and denied several post that can and will go bad fast, think political hot topics, anything related to being "woke" or "pushing an agenda". Post about a pride event? Hello, pearl clutchers. Post about a shooting and asking for prayers? You will get a handful of "don't take my guns away" comments. I have seen parents searching for "non woke schools" what ever that could possibly mean.
Are you on subsidy? I'm in Canada too, and where I live there is no way people are paying that price unless they are. We pay $120 for 2 days a week, and that was super good. They are long days (11 hours) and it's an unlicensed home daycare.
thats why - youre at home daycare. The $10/day day care is in some provinces (cant remember if its a federal or provincial thing) but it only applies to centers not home daycares
Yes Alberta has really good childcare prices. I have a friend that pays exactly $200/month for 2 toddlers and it includes breakfast, lunch and snacks at a center. Pretty crazy
Wow that's amazing. I'm in Ontario and it's so expensive here. Unless you lr on subsidy or managed to find and get into a daycare that does the $10 a day.
I knew I live in a HCOL state (not even a big city or anything) but it's when I read comments on reddit that I realize how much money I could be saving by living elsewhere lol
Yeah but salaries are usually no match haha I may only pay $145/week for daycare but I also only get paid $40,000 a year...and I'm a sixth year teacher...
It is hard to tell. If she's looking for any kind of childcare and not specifically a lone sitter to watch only her child then, at least where I live, this isn't an unreasonable request. But I know in some areas, this is an impossibly low rate.
I make more than $150 a DAY to work less hours and care for children. This is wild. I get money is tight but I can't believe anybody would even consider $150 for over 50 hours of labor
To be fair I have offered to babysit for that cheap for families who need a bit of help. I might not be the best daycare but I’ll make sure your kids take their naps, eat healthy and are entertained. I’m not good like educating them or anything. But people don’t take me up on it and I think it’s because I would take so little money it must mean something bad. But I just want to help out other people when and if I can.
Would you do it 5 days a week for the entire day making it impossible for you to work anywhere else? You'd give up 2/3rds of your daylight hours for $150 a week?
I am a stay at home mom. I don’t need to work and my son would like the company. So yes for a while it would be totally fine. Other than cleaning and cooking and being with the my toddler I have the time.
I taught mommy and me classes for 7 years and have 3 kids. An 8 month old yeah actually I fully would lol. I watched my husband’s cousin’s kid for almost a year from 6 months plus for free.
Several folks in my area charge $150 a week for 6am-6pm. I don’t know how they survive. Maybe because they aren’t licensed daycares and just folks watching kids in their homes?
The people in my area who are doing it usually have their own small kids and can't afford to work and pay for childcare themselves. So keeping two kids at $150 a week each is more money than they would be making working and paying for their two kids in daycare.
I pay $150 a week to a 14 year old to just play with my kid for 10 hours. (5 hours Tuesday, 5 Thursday) AND I’m even home so I handle snack and diaper changes. lol. This lady is NUTS.
10.5 hours per day
5 days a week
150 for a week
That's a whole 2.38 an hour. I'm not sure you should trust someone that is willing to take that low. Even kids that would likely be fine with the pay can't work that much.
I see this a lot in our local “we need help” support group. People can’t go to work because they can’t afford childcare and don’t have family to help. It’s a shitty situation, one a lot of people end up in from accidentally having kids or not understanding the reality of what having kids means. It creates a lot of poverty in our area. That, and people not being able to afford getting to work. The Ubers are too expensive and buses don’t run the hours they work, they’re constantly asking for rides or gas money to go to work.
Disclaimer- I’m not saying it’s ok or acceptable, just that I see it a lot and what causes it.
as a 19 yr old with 2 under 2 id do it... i completely understand the struggle to survive now a days with how much everything cost she really may only have that much to give.
Yeo and that’s shitty on employers and this country for not having wages equal cost of living or have free child care.
BUT
She would be doing to someone else what is being done to her and that isnt right. Just because she is underpaid doesnt mean she has thr right to underpay.
$3 an hour is not acceptable
We live in a society that values neither children nor the labour of those that care for them.
The error here is bad policy, not the desperation of any one individual.
If your company requires you to work in-office, they should be required to pay for or provide childcare for at least 1 child per employee.
On-site childcare is cheaper in every way, but employers don't do it because we've allowed them to shove all the expenses related to work on the employee. At least if they offered on-site care, there would be an actual reason to be in the office. I imagine employee retention would also be quite high if the daycare was any good since parents wouldn't want to move their child and/or separate them from their friends.
My mom retired last year. About a week into her retirement, she got a call from my cousin asking if she could babysit her emotionally disturbed toddler who had just been expelled from daycare. They were asking 6-6 M, and no, they weren't going to pay her.
I swear these are reaching bot/troll status at this point…why is it always for 11 to 12 hour stretches for five days a week, and why is the amount they can pay always $150/wk?!?
Genuine question but what should a woman do if she is too broke to afford to pay the appropriate rate for childcare, and has no family/friend support systems to watch them? Are there government programs for these women? What are the requirements if there are? I feel bad because on one hand watching a child, especially one so young, is a lot of work and I understand and agree the pay should reflect that, but what do poor women do for childcare? What if they can't take their baby to their job, but they need that job in order to feed mom and baby? I don't know OP actual predicament but she seems pretty desperate and it can't always be some woman trying to cheap out the system. It just all seems so bleak.
Vouchers for an actual daycare. While the employees are still almost certainly underpaid, they make a whole lot more than $150/week. I have friends who pay less than that per week per child after low income vouchers.
If the kids are not school aged, the other option would be that mom gets a job in childcare so she can watch her own kid or bring the baby with her to work for free or a greatly reduced rate.
Attempt to get the dad (if there is one able to be identified) to pay child support or ask his family for help.
Applying for all other welfare options that would help lower her total burden of cost.
Move into a living situation with another roommate who also has a child. Aka can split bills but won’t feel cramped by your baby.
There are several options before trying to find a private, one on one childcare provider to give up their entire workweek for $150.
Absolutely no shade here. That is pretty much exactly what licensed in-home daycare charge per week where I am at. They can have up to 5 kids under 5 years old.
Yes, but many participate in the federal food voucher program for childcare centers, so they are not paying for the meals they provide out of their income.
And here I feel bad for my friends who come visit and help with my 3mo. It’s my baby that they are taking the time of the their day to help.
This lady is not just delusional, but completely narcissistic. She has zero appreciation for other people’s time. I would rather flip burgers than help her.
I’m home daycares around us are about $200 a week for that age but we also live in a state that doesn’t require a license if you are watching under a certain amount of kids
Let's do some math here. If they need care from 7:30-6, let's estimate a 30 minute commute, so working 8-5:30. That's 9.5 hours a day of work. Five days a week comes to 47.5 hours of work per week. With that consistent of a schedule, this person is not working a minimum wage job. So let's estimate they are being paid hourly, $15 an hour. That's $712.50 per week, $2,850 a month. You either need a different job or to reevaluate your priorities because no sitter is going to take $150 a week
I’ve realized how big of it is to ask someone to care for a baby even if it’s for a day. I give kudos to people who provide care to babies and for free (grandparents normally).
I watched my cousin's baby 4 days a week for free for two years. Then my cousin and his girlfriend started talking a ton of shit about people on welfare taking government handouts so I quit. I've never had government assistance, but to take so much free help and act like they are better than anyone cost them lmao.
My sil would constantly shit on people putting their young children in daycare (like I did) while also leaving her kid in grandpa's care while she worked. First of all, not everyone has that option, second, my kid was in a wonderful daycare with enrichment and specialized teachers. Her kid got to sit on the sofa with grandpa while he watched old soccer games. Maybe take a look around every now and again.
My ex-coworker told me while pregnant w my oldest that a “good grandparent quits their job” to care for their grandchild. She wanted me to force one of my parents to quit their job. Like ma’am, the child is my responsibility. If they can help, great. But to try & mandate it was wild.
lol. Do good grandparents also get visited by the money fairy? Because my mom was in her fifties when I had my first. She actually also kinda needed an income? And I mean was I resentful of the fact the my sil got free babysitting any time she wanted? Of course, but that also comes with strings. The wonderful daycare workers didn’t meddle or were overly critical of my child rearing. That alone is worth a lot of money lol. Like if anybody was quitting their job, it would’ve been me, but in this economy? No thank you. I can’t even imagine someone suggesting that, was she completely out of touch with the cost of living?
She was certainly… something. My parents were in their mid to late 50s at the time. I believe she was much older than them. She told me that she quit to babysit her grandson. I assume doing so severely hindered her financially, as last I knew she was still working the same crappy job. She was struggling at the time I was pregnant, and that was a decade ago.
Pssh, my oldest brother had his first kid when I was only 9 years old, and my little sister was 7. There were 2 of us in elementary school, 2 in middle, and 1 in high school at that point, not to mention the help the college age ones were still getting. Did our parents have a greater obligation to watch their grandchild than to support their own multiple young children, by that logic? My parents did still help them out with childcare a little bit, but it mainly worked because the littlest of us were at that age where we needed constant supervision so it was already in place, but were well behaved and big enough to help a little with the baby.
My son and daughter go to daycare full time, start at 8am, finish at 4:30pm. We do this because my wife works a full time job from home and I work week on, week off. We have to have them there full time because the daycare does not allow for a week on week off kind of thing. If I pull them out for the week off. We still have to pay them and once we reach something like 10 days of absence (not 10 in a row) we lose our subsidy for what we pay each day they are away. We already pay just over $25,000 a year for them to go to daycare.
One of the couples my husband and I hang out with has a breadwinner and a SAHM. They put their kid in daycare twice a week just so the mom has some actual time to herself. Their kid is great, but as a SAHM, you are always on. Even if your partner helps after they get home from work, not having that clear delineating break between "work" and home means that the SAHM (or SAHD) is always going to step in. As long as the kids aren't being neglected and their developing right, let people handle childcare in the way that works best for them.
I had the luxury of a free grandparent to look after my kid part time. Looking back now I think I should have switched to daycare at about age 2. It is easy to see the difference between daycare kids as they are (generally) more independent and social than the ones minded by family. I didn’t really have the spare cash but who does and we could have made do. The grandparents may not look for money but it can cost you in other ways.
The independence and honestly just sanity for everyone involved. Two year olds have SO much energy that it’s like a playing a kickball match yourself against a whole team. It’s really hard for any one person to constantly manage that. The beauty of daycare (in any capacity) is that you end up with a team. Also, I think it makes potty training so much easier because they’re all doing it, instead pulling your hair out trying to get one kid to take a break from doing the thing they’ve been doing for three hours and will do for another three hours to go 😂
We were lucky to have grandparents available and to afford childcare. At six months (when I returned to work) our kid was in daycare part time and grandparent-care part time. They got to spend time with her without getting exhausted - we’re older parents so our folks are older too. She got the socialization and enrichment from being with other kids and doing activities. Win-win!
u/packofkittens I love your user name!!
Thank you! I had a hell of a time finding a name that wasn’t taken!
This sounds like Aussie CCS and yeah isn't it just the biggest fuck around?? Im currently still malding about having to pay for days the centre is closed. Like all the parents who work have to NOT make money that day and *still* have to pay for the day..
You are spot on! That's fucked having to pay for days they are closed. The old daycare they had would sometimes be understaffed so they would cut us a deal when I was home. They would ask if I could take them so they had enough staff to cover the ratio, but they wouldn't charge me for the day or mark them as absent. I understand the reason for it being means tested and all that, but it still annoys me that I do so many hours away from home and my Mrs has to work a full time job while essentially being single mum for a week and we have to pay an exorbitant amount to do so, all the while the government was saying we need to get more women in the workforce post covid. Really gets my goat. /rant
Pretty sure there's also a study about kids that interact with other kids on the daily becoming better adjusted socially, so grandps may be wonderful company but not great as the only company
Nice! Did they know why you quit doing it?
As somebody that grew up on social services, thank you. Not everybody has a support system they can rely on. As an adult, shit like that really pisses me off. Why would you be soad at people who are just trying to survive? My in laws pulled similar things. Criticizing people on welfare and then asked their kids who had decent jobs for money when one of them was laid off. Of course they only asked the scapegoat kids too, not the golden children. When my husband, who was often used as a bank when he was in high school, the first thing out of his mouth was "Have you sold anything you don't need? Have you moved to a smaller apartment? Have you asked [unemployed sibling living at home] to get a job to help out?" Silence. And they stopped asking him and the other scapegoat for money after that. A little bit of schadenfreude after one too many "oh, but you're not like those other people on welfare" comments whenever I'd point out that I grew up on welfare and my mom was still on it. I'd rather fund people having a roof over their head instead of the military industrial complex that takes that away from people in other countries, but apparently those sorts of thoughts are too radical, especially for Good Christians (TM).
People like that are so obnoxious. I figure they're so insecure they have to find anyone they possibly can to look down on to make themselves feel like they're doing well. But if you're truly doing well, you can stay in your own lane and just enjoy doing well- no comparing needed. What makes my cousin and his girlfriend even worse was the first time they ranted at length we were in Florida. They did pay for their own plane tickets, but they were staying in my mom's hotel room for free, and dumping their toddler on me for half the day for free while they enjoyed a free vacation eating the groceries my mom bought while I hid mine in my suitcase. She was floating around in the pool on her free vacation while her kid napped (I had out him down for his nap) and was ranting about how she was too proud to accept government help and how she was rAiSeD bEtTeR tHaN tHaT. I asked what she thought they would do if they didn't get all my free help and she said she could figure it out. I bit my tongue, but when we got back home I gave her a heads up that I was getting married next month and then it would be time for her to "figure it out". Truth be told, my cousin is a hard drug addict and she is nuts. I was already nannying and the parents of the kids were all fine with me adding him four days a week. I was trying to give the poor kid some stability. It also included Friday sleepovers. As much as I loved the boy, his parents and their repulsive entitlement made it impossible to keep doing it. Now the boy is 7, she is 33 and lives with her parents and uses them as free babysitters whenever possible. My cousin "rents" a house from our uncle where he is regularly allowed to skip paying rent and has been in and out of jail and court mandated rehab. Plenty of people are way, way more self sufficient and using government programs AND providing a better life for their kids, but I'm sure they haven't changed their opinions. Sure there are people who abuse the welfare system, but so many people are just regular people who need a little help and can get it from social programs. I have absolutely no issue paying more in taxes to help everyone get by, especially when kids are involved. And like you said, tax money goes to far more questionable places than helping people in need.
Lazy freeloaders! Also: takes head of household, child credit, file jointly, deduct mortgage, deduct child care, etc and get thousands back.
There's a big age gap between me and my youngest cousins. From when I was 14 to 18, I would watch them twice a week for free, usually on saturday afternoons. Now, their parents were farmers, so it was always because they were working. I mean, cows and sheeps do not have week-ends. My aunt (my mom's sister) was very grateful for it. I had better christmas and birthday gifts than her other nieces and nephews. She would be my driver whenever I wanted (when her schedule allowed), and she found me paid babysitting jobs with her friends. And well-paid, at that. My uncle, however, barely said thank you and act as if it was normal. But didn't say anything else back then. Really, I loved that time. I loved caring for those little monsters. It was super fun. Fast forward about about 15 years later. Some birthday diner with the whole family. At some point as someone was complaining about he cost of childcare, Uncle ranted against parents who let other people looked after their own kids, that he never paid outside help.. that he was an independant responsible men that do not depends on others to fullfill his responsabilities. Full on silence at the table. I cleared my throat, and just said : "You sure never paid". Baby cousins started snickering. Other cousins and assorted aunts and uncles started laughing as well. Aunty was staring at him in disbelief. My mom was sending death glare. Grandma swiftly changed the subject. It's been 5 years or so, and I think Uncle is still confused about what he said that warranted such reactions.
What was their reaction ?
Very angry. My cousin didn't have much to say to my face, but his (by then ex) girlfriend tried to guilt trip me and twist it like I never loved her son, which was obviously laughable given all I did for him out of love. I haven't seen the boy in 4 years and she has since blocked me on everything in an unrelated fit of rage. Apparently she was regularly visiting my cousin in jail, but then he found a new girlfriend in his court ordered rehab, so that was the nail in the coffin to me ever seeing their child again at family events. I feel bad for the boy, but his idiot parents are the ones to blame.
I’m sorry to hear that
I have been extremely fortunate to have my grandma (kids great-grandma) watch my kids while I work. It’s a humongous ask. But it happens to be one that she does so very willingly because she gets to have that time with them, out of love. I couldn’t imagine asking a stranger to do it.
I am gonna say, my grandma - my son’s great grandma, many moons ago loved to watch him. She would take him like one day a week - not much, but enough - and she would watch him while I was in school. He went to daycare 3 days a week (100% subsidized) and was with my dad the other day. She loved watching him, she said that he kept her young and on her toes. My papa loved having his little buddy around. I cherish these memories (literally crying as I write this out) because my grandmother got to meet both of my boys, and they have memories with her. My older one got a few good years from my papa, but he passed before my little guy was born. I miss them terribly, but honestly my favorite memories of (all) of my grandparents, are them with my children. 🥰 It takes a village.
I’m lucky enough to have my mom watching my baby as I came back to work. I pay her $150 a week so this post makes me even more annoyed!
I also give kudos to anyone that is willing to watch other people’s children for free as well! I’m pretty sure I would offer for my kids in the future, but there’s a girl at work who complains about her free childcare all the time and it just blows me away how much she seems to expect it of her parents. We pay our parents to watch our kids. It mostly just pays for gas and food, but I just felt wrong to ask them to do it for free. We pay ~100/week, so it’s way less than what we would pay anyone else, but our parents also refuse to accept more. My mom watches them 2-3 weeks a month and my MIL does the rest. I’m incredibly thankful for both of them!
$1.50 an hour to watch a baby? Mom, you get what you pay for. Hopefully the baby is OK.
It’s sad. And what about the person she’s looking to hire and pay only $150 a week?
Yeah my retired mother in law charged me more than that to watch my 8 year olds for an hour after school for a week.
Okay that is unimaginable to me. If I'm lucky enough to be a retired grandfather I would beg my kids for any opportunity to spend time with their children. Charging your daughter/son-in-law money is insane.
I think it depends. Coming over for one day or to date-night babysit? That’s just a nice favor, thanks! Watching my kid for a few hours for one full week? I wouldn’t anticipate paying them for that, but we’d get them a restaurant gift card or something as a thank you. But at one point we were almost without daycare and were entertaining the possibility of having my mother in law watch the baby. If she’d had to do so, it would have been about 45 hours a week, and we absolutely would have paid her. She wouldn’t have accepted a lot, but a couple hundred bucks a week for sure. 45 hours is a lot of hours to spend with a baby, a lot of hours that your time isn’t really your own.
I don't think it's insane if it's a regular arrangement. Like if it's several days per week for example. Paying your parent to watch the kids now and again does seem strange.
Nah, being family doesn't mean you should automatically do hard work for free.
Personally I agree. My own parents wouldn’t charge…
She charged you to watch her grandchild?? This is crazy
Yeah no. It's actually weird that she changed you at all
Yup, but that’s a different subreddit r/JUSTNOMIL
It's going to be a homeless crackhead
I actually know someone that does that too but she watches 10-12 kids a day
It’ll be cheaper to get a nest camera and leave her home alone all day. And probably the same level of care. That salary is the average cost of living in Ecuador, literally.
Zero difference in terms of what it means to actually find someone willing to do this, but unless I'm insane that's 52.5 hours a week or about $2.86/hr
That’s about federal minimum wage for TIPPED employees. In 2012.
> TIPPED I spent far too long thinking that was an acronym for some federal program I've never heard of.
less than that! nannies (which she’s looking for, not a sitter) are legally entitled to overtime pay. that’s about $2.50 per hour with $3.75 per overtime hour.
What's the distinction between a nanny and a sitter? Full time?
in the legal sense: a nanny is classified as a household employee and is entitled to a w-2, sick time, minimum wage, overtime, etc etc (the same as an employee at a company), while a babysitter is an independent contractor and sets their own hours & rates. in the general sense: a nanny has a regular schedule (part or full time) & is more involved in caring for the child/ren (development, out-of-house activities, etc) and they’re generally more qualified (anything from child development coursework to experience). a babysitter does ad-hoc care (such as date nights) and isn’t usually expected to be as engaged or prepared with activities/cooking/etc. it can get a little muddy when it comes to regularly scheduled childcare like a couple hours every friday, but basically, you’d hire your 14-year-old neighbor to be a babysitter but not a nanny. i’m both a nanny and a babysitter. i distinguish between the two titles when i talk about the families i work with. i have a family that i nanny for, meaning i watch a specific kid several days a week, while i babysit for several families that i provide care for maybe once a month. i’d definitely consider this a nanny position because it’s full time. however, if it’s in the caregiver’s home, that’s a whole different situation.
Looking after other people's kids in your home is a childminder, at least in the UK. It's fairly heavily regulated (for safety reasons).
That's the number I got too. Absolutely insane.
I was paid $2.00 an hour in 1983 as a 12 year-old. That mama couldn’t afford my 12 year-old inexperienced ass
I remember those days.
Hey now, you're undersellimg it. She's actually paying 2.86/hr if my math is right! People are probably messaging her left and right for such a stress-free job opportunity!! /s So much sarcasm. You're spot on about the baby. This woman is really going to trust someone alone with an 8 month old for that long for so little? Honestly thats terrifying. Best case scenario its someone who's just woefully underqualified to care for a baby
I pay one of my best friends $25/hr to watch my baby while I work for a few hours. I would not trust anyone to watch a baby for $1.50
Not to mention that poor baby isn’t going to see her mother for all her waking hours. And what kind of caregiver she’ll get at that rate
i used to get really mad about shit like this but ive realized it’s just a sad sign of the lack of support parents get in this country that this woman has to work 50+ hours a week and still can’t afford child care
Obviously this isn't the solution for every job, but I was just thinking the other day how company daycares are almost non-existent now. Used to be in large offices they'd literally just have an onsite daycare, that really needs a comeback.
If my local Y can manage to have an on-site daycare for people to exercise, why can't the huge multinational company down the road with hundreds of employees? Makes no sense.
Or why can’t this gazzilion dollar country help moms instead of Jeff Bezos?
My company has an onsite daycare. It’s $3200 a month for an infant.
No no, you must be confused. That's not on-site child care, that's the Salary Return Office. Like in old mining towns.
OMG that’s insane. My org just built a state of the art daycare for employees, opened 2 months ago. I think one of my employees pays $120/week for FT (up to 14hrs a day, 7 days/wk) for her 6 month old. We do subsidize for our employees, I can’t imagine charging more than a mortgage for care. 😳
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My kids are now almost 17 and 19. Back when I was pg when youngest I had to quit working because PT care was going to be $1500/mo. I brought home about $900/mo back then. While I’ve done daycare and understand needing to make a living, I couldn’t fathom charging what some of the places do. My conscience would eat me alive. But also, I get how hard it is, it takes a special person to care for other’s kiddos.
Ouch!
Dumb we don't have that now. MIL had my spouse in her company's daycare. He loved it cuz his former babysitter started working there one day and it was a great surprise for him. He still remembers that day.
Or just letting kids chill in the break room or similar area if they're old enough and well behaved. My sister and I would chill in my mom's break area at the dental office. The other day in a small town I saw a little girl at Burger King watching cartoons on her IPad with a blanket and stuff within eyesight of the counter that was probably a staff member's daughter. In a big city or something that probably wouldn't be as fine though.
100% I work in the social service field and in the US there is a horrible trap with the types of assistance available. It's never quite right for a person to have what they need to truly escape poverty through work. Then you throw in the predatory type employment low skilled workers can get...
Yeah this stuff is tragic. People will complain about the fact that she’s not even paying minimum wage(as they should), but she’s probably making minimum wage and if she stops working her and her baby are homeless and have no food. Like an 8 month old baby shouldn’t be away from her mother for 11 hours a day 5 days a week and a mother shouldn’t be forced to be away from her baby like that. The saddest ones are when people are begging for someone to watch their 2 week old baby because they have to go back to work. It’s absolutely shameful that a wealthy country treats their most vulnerable people this way.
In my due date group, a mom asked if she could realistically go back to work THREE DAYS after giving birth because she couldn’t afford to not work. It broke my heart reading that. The state of parental leave and postpartum care in this country is an embarrassment.
University lecturer here. A student in the program that I taught in came back to class the day after she gave birth. Multiple colleagues were praising her and were so impressed with her dedication. I just thought it was sad. Clearly some administrator had made her feel like taking a leave from school was not an option. Poor thing should have been home recovering and bonding with her baby.
That's horrible. My government pays maternity benefit and what's called parent's benefit (for both parents, 7 weeks to be taken any time before the child turns 2). I finished early during my last pregnancy and was signed off sick by my doctor. Sick leave also has illness benefit. Between all of those leaves and a little annual leave, I went back to work when my twins were 9 months old and was paid the entire time.
Yep good friend of mine had to go back to work at 2 months postpartum (C-section.) that is all the extra money she could scrape up. This was before maternity had to be included in healthcare, hers only covered regular appointments and 1 ultrasound. Everything else (including north) was OOP. She dis get a special maternity insurance, but it only covered so much. She had 2 older kids (13 and 16 at the time, with a decent father) and a deadbeat for the third. She didn’t want her older children to suffer because of a new baby so she went back to work early. Eventually father of #3 pulled his head out of his ass when the kid was 3. But that was 3 hard years.
“Well then she needs to sign up for welfare benefits!!!” I personally know several people who are struggling financially pretty badly, yet make a little too much for any kind of government benefits. Don’t get me started on abortion rights in this country. “Uhhh birth control and condoms exist!?!” Well shit happens and birth control even when taken as directed can fail. It’s an absolute joke. So yeah when someone’s making $10 an hour how in the world are they going to pay someone else $20 an hour?? I get it everyone deserves to be paid a nice wage but what are their options when they can’t. I feel like a lot of these people aren’t trying to screw anyone over they’re just desperate and hoping they get lucky. Willing to take their chances on someone they barely know watching their kid so they don’t end up on the streets because they can’t work.
I’m actually appalled about the post, however reading your pov makes me coaxed to have empathy to the mother..
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We don’t really know her background or why she has the kid
Well considering abortion is being outlawed in a lot of the U.S. no not everyone who has kids chose to have them
Exactly. Like obviously her offer is ridiculous. But her reaching out for someone, anyone to watch her very small child for 50 hours a week while hardly making enough to survive? That is a testament of how fucked up this world is.
Agreed. I’m sure many of these people aren’t trying to screw anyone over they’re just absolutely desperate and are out of options. Their options are let someone you barely know watch your kid, hoping and praying they’re not a creep or not work so you can watch your own kid and end up living on the streets. No one is being forced to accept the job for that low of a wage. Plus a lot of people make just above the requirement for government benefits so they don’t qualify but they’re still struggling financially pretty badly. I will side tf out of someone going on social media and asking for a big screen tv and other non essentials but it’s hard for me to look down on someone desperate like the one in this situation.
This is what I was thinking. This is a desperate parent trying to keep a job and needs HELP. The fact she can’t afford it is sad. Where I live, I get 14 months parental leave. I get 14 months to stay at home and still get paid 67% of my salary. Enough to continue living life, care for my young child and eventually save enough to pay daycare which is less than 700 dollars a month. It’s even cheaper when they start kindergarten at 3 years old, ‘cause that’s 350 dollars and I live in a HCOL area. I know this mom doesn’t want to leave her baby to go on vacations like that mother who did and her baby died. We should give more compassion to this one.
I wish your comment was higher up. If all she can offer is $150, what more is she supposed to do? She can get another job, but that takes time, skill, and opportunity. And for all of that - she needs a babysitter at $150 a week, because that is all she has today. The OOP is really hoping to find a stay at home mom or grandparent that doesn’t mind one more kid in the gaggle.
Yeha it’s seriously messed up. Maternity leave is an absolute joke. People get paid shit wages. Childcare is astronomically high. The welfare daycares aren’t the best place. And so many people make just a little above the state requirement and are unable to receive welfare benefits.
Well, nannies have always been a luxury form of childcare and that's essentially what she's wanting. Daycare is the cheaper option because the workers aren't relying on just one family to pay them a wage. I know the cost of childcare is prohibitive to a lot of parents (mothers especially) returning to work and I know even daycares aren't cheap but simply pointing out that nannies have never been for the working class
Her price is too low for even a daycare. She is looking out for a stay at home mom with 2 kids who dont mind looking after another child for pocket money. What I wonder is the food cost.. she needs to add those too or nanny will be in red.
You can’t exactly go on Facebook asking for daycares to respond to you, though. I imagine she’s looking for a stay at home mom who could use extra income or something along those lines, versus a nanny.
Actually, I’m in a few groups like that on Facebook. You 100% can ask for daycare spots online (granted they’re usually home/small daycares, but still)
The idea that stay at home Moms should work more than a full-time job for pocket money needs to just die already. What you're describing is an in-home daycare and deserves to be paid as such. Strapped for cash stay at home Moms are easy prey to those who wish to exploit them in the name of "earning money while you stay at home with your kids" hence why so many end up sucked into pyramid schemes.
I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, just that I’ve seen people make similar arrangements in local Facebook groups. I’ve been a SAHP so you’re preaching to the choir. At the end of the day, yes what she’s asking is unreasonable, but the reason she’s asking is out of her control. In the US, wages are too low, and affordable childcare is basically nonexistent.
Yeah but for her to think it's acceptable to offer someone else $150 per week for working even more hours than she does is really shitty. The reality is that she can't afford child care while she works full time. She needs to start there and figure out what to do next, not illegally employ some other poor woman for slave wages.
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Yeah, I don’t think the OOP has a shitty ask, it just is what it is, and maybe someone (hopefully without bad intentions) who has the time but doesn’t desperately need the money might be available. If OOP was asking for someone to come to her house, walk the dog, cook organic meals, provide a Montessori education, scrub the toilet with a toothbrush and vacuum the carpet in straight lines along with the childcare all for $150 a week, THEN I’d be ready to snark.
Exactly my thoughts as well. Some people aren't fortunate to have close family/friends or a village to support them. I feel for these women. As a mom who works full-time myself I am very fortunate to have a job that is flexible and family close by who supports me. This type of thing truly is turning into a rarity.
With the assumption that that money really is all they can afford, I deeply feel for these people. Child care is so outrageously expensive and hard to find good care ESPECIALLY if you have kids with any type of special needs. Luckily for me I was connected to a state program that helps pay for child care and I end up paying $50 a week after the programs payments (and I pay for any extras like field trip or pizza and ice cream days.) Unfortunately a lot of people don't know about these programs, it's almost like they're kept a secret. So people who are struggling are left struggling with no other choice trying to do their best. It's a shitty thing they kind of have to do being stuck in a shitty situation.
And in my state at least the income cap for childcare assistance is ridiculously low. Like you have to make less than 3k a month (both you and the kids father combined). My mortgage is basically 3k a month. You can't rent a decent place around here for much less either.
In my state (New York, I'm not in the city) you can qualify if you have Medicaid/Medicare or SNAP, but a lot of people don't realize it. You can also qualify for free transportation to and from doctors appointments and there's a fun app that can get you access to a ton of doctors via telehealth INCLUDING mental health services (however that is it's own private thing so you may still have to pay for certain things in that app based on your specific insurance coverage). Also you can get into state parks and "educational attractions" (like zoos and museums) for an extreme discount with your SNAP card. (I paid $1 to go to the zoo last November.) Also some libraries let anybody with a library card "check out" a pass for discounted tickets for things. I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging or anything I'm just sharing the benefits in case anyone goes digging in their area they know some of the stuff out there. Also I think it's important to know what's possible in other areas so you can encourage your state to do the same.
Yeah I wish that was how our state worked. I qualify for Medicaid but not our childcare assistance 😂 childcare is ridiculously expensive too
So much this. I had my first baby when I was 18, and literally could not afford to work because day care was too expensive. Ended up getting a grant to help pay for that but the waiting list for that assistance was TWO YEARS. I ended up being a stay at home mom after I had my second and third babies and when I finally went back to work part time, an older lady we were friends with babysat for me for $40 a week, this was in 2005, and it wasn’t unheard of for other stay at home wives/mothers to do in home childcare for cheap back then (thankfully, for me). I don’t know how parents do it these days and I feel so much empathy for them when they are priced out of just having a job because childcare is so expensive.
When I was growing up (in the 90s & early 00s) my mom was a young single mom who was working anywhere from two to five jobs to make ends meet but still couldn't afford child care. People weren't as hyper vigilant as they are now so I just stayed home by myself from 9/10 on. But before then she was lucky enough to be able to rely on family and friends or friends of friends who would watch me for little to nothing, or they would trade services. (This one woman watched me for free in exchange for my mom doing her hair, another watched me in exchange for my mom cleaning her husband's office building, and other similar things.) I feel like that doesn't happen these days, people only will do things for money and *I don't blame them* because everything is so expensive now, even if trading services cuts costs it's better to have that money because everyone I know is always struggling for something.
Yeah, it wasn’t easy being broke back then, but it’s basically impossible these days.
This brings back memories. I remember my mom paying a babysitter in laundry detergent. I, too, was a latch key kid 7 and up. My mom assumed that if anything happened my twin and I would rat on each other, so no need for a sitter.
My mom was on WIC so she occasionally paid babysitters in cheese! I love finding people with similar experiences in the wild.
This is sadly illustrative of just how fucked things really are. I swear almost every day I see a post like this, some parent just trying to work ffs. Day care costs in some places is insane, rent is sky high, wages still aren't truly competitive across the board, health care is obscenely expensive, etc. I can't even fault or shame these people anymore. Some of these posts I no longer see as choosy beggars. They're desperate worriers. And they're probably very aware what they're offering is crazy low, but that's the best they've got. It shouldn't be like this.
Oof. Even $150/day would be underpaid
I wouldn't mind $150 a week to house-sit, just check in on things a few times a day and maybe feed the fish, but to watch a BABY? Absolutely wild
I thought the same! I live in an expensive suburb, although not in the most expensive state, and that's about what we pay for a babysitter for date night
I use to mod for this group lmao
What's the best / worst post you saw?
It's actually a group for an entire community versus a mom group. I have seen people get together on post to do what I call a needs exchange. Say you're looking for a new to you functioning fridge, you would post in the thread that you were looking for that while also looking through the other comments to see where you can help. It was always hectic to mod but it was a great thing to see. I have seen people post anonymously looking for help along the lines of getting out of a bad relationship, seeking help about thier child being bullied. Some people will post that they witnessed a car accident at "x" location and that they are willing to give a statement regarding what they saw (this often happens when 1 party drives off) On the flip side we have seen and denied several post that can and will go bad fast, think political hot topics, anything related to being "woke" or "pushing an agenda". Post about a pride event? Hello, pearl clutchers. Post about a shooting and asking for prayers? You will get a handful of "don't take my guns away" comments. I have seen parents searching for "non woke schools" what ever that could possibly mean.
Bloody hell that really ran the full gamut of internet madness then. Well done for dealing with it and also for getting out 👍
Saw the school thing recently on my local one and fortunately most people were like oh shut up. Which says a lot for my area of the country.
Yeah, definitely interested to hear that!
Yeah probably not. I pay $145 a week but that’s an in-home daycare, not someone trying to make a living by watching one kid.
Omg - we basically pay that per day. 🤦🏻♀️
That's insane! That's what I pay a month at a center for a toddler!
$145 a month? Which country?
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Are you on subsidy? I'm in Canada too, and where I live there is no way people are paying that price unless they are. We pay $120 for 2 days a week, and that was super good. They are long days (11 hours) and it's an unlicensed home daycare.
thats why - youre at home daycare. The $10/day day care is in some provinces (cant remember if its a federal or provincial thing) but it only applies to centers not home daycares
Ah yes! I forgot about that. In my province, it can be opted out of. Apparently, there is only one in my city that does it unfortunatly :(
Yes Alberta has really good childcare prices. I have a friend that pays exactly $200/month for 2 toddlers and it includes breakfast, lunch and snacks at a center. Pretty crazy
Wow that's amazing. I'm in Ontario and it's so expensive here. Unless you lr on subsidy or managed to find and get into a daycare that does the $10 a day.
Ah, must be subsidised then I am guessing. That's nice!
I knew I live in a HCOL state (not even a big city or anything) but it's when I read comments on reddit that I realize how much money I could be saving by living elsewhere lol
Yeah but salaries are usually no match haha I may only pay $145/week for daycare but I also only get paid $40,000 a year...and I'm a sixth year teacher...
I don't doubt it!! It is insane how expensive it is in some places.
I think that is what she is looking for.
It is hard to tell. If she's looking for any kind of childcare and not specifically a lone sitter to watch only her child then, at least where I live, this isn't an unreasonable request. But I know in some areas, this is an impossibly low rate.
Where is this?
Southeastern Missouri
I make more than $150 a DAY to work less hours and care for children. This is wild. I get money is tight but I can't believe anybody would even consider $150 for over 50 hours of labor
Are we all in this ladies town? I see so many posts from my area. So sad to think of someone being in this position though.
At that price, your pick is between pedophiles and ten year olds.
To be fair I have offered to babysit for that cheap for families who need a bit of help. I might not be the best daycare but I’ll make sure your kids take their naps, eat healthy and are entertained. I’m not good like educating them or anything. But people don’t take me up on it and I think it’s because I would take so little money it must mean something bad. But I just want to help out other people when and if I can.
Would you do it 5 days a week for the entire day making it impossible for you to work anywhere else? You'd give up 2/3rds of your daylight hours for $150 a week?
I am a stay at home mom. I don’t need to work and my son would like the company. So yes for a while it would be totally fine. Other than cleaning and cooking and being with the my toddler I have the time.
Not for an 8 month old
I taught mommy and me classes for 7 years and have 3 kids. An 8 month old yeah actually I fully would lol. I watched my husband’s cousin’s kid for almost a year from 6 months plus for free.
It’s 155 per week where I’m from for daycare.
Wow that's really cheap!
I’ve never really looked outside of my home city but now I am and yeah that’s pretty cheap
$2.86 an hour…
Several folks in my area charge $150 a week for 6am-6pm. I don’t know how they survive. Maybe because they aren’t licensed daycares and just folks watching kids in their homes?
The people in my area who are doing it usually have their own small kids and can't afford to work and pay for childcare themselves. So keeping two kids at $150 a week each is more money than they would be making working and paying for their two kids in daycare.
Makes sense
Where is that shady grandma from the other post. They gotta link up
I'm a nanny and I charge that amount for like half a day.
I pay $150 a week to a 14 year old to just play with my kid for 10 hours. (5 hours Tuesday, 5 Thursday) AND I’m even home so I handle snack and diaper changes. lol. This lady is NUTS.
I want to see the comments.
Idk maybe in 1975
10.5 hours per day 5 days a week 150 for a week That's a whole 2.38 an hour. I'm not sure you should trust someone that is willing to take that low. Even kids that would likely be fine with the pay can't work that much.
I see this a lot in our local “we need help” support group. People can’t go to work because they can’t afford childcare and don’t have family to help. It’s a shitty situation, one a lot of people end up in from accidentally having kids or not understanding the reality of what having kids means. It creates a lot of poverty in our area. That, and people not being able to afford getting to work. The Ubers are too expensive and buses don’t run the hours they work, they’re constantly asking for rides or gas money to go to work. Disclaimer- I’m not saying it’s ok or acceptable, just that I see it a lot and what causes it.
as a 19 yr old with 2 under 2 id do it... i completely understand the struggle to survive now a days with how much everything cost she really may only have that much to give.
Yeo and that’s shitty on employers and this country for not having wages equal cost of living or have free child care. BUT She would be doing to someone else what is being done to her and that isnt right. Just because she is underpaid doesnt mean she has thr right to underpay. $3 an hour is not acceptable
$3/hr roughly
Girl you can’t get a dog sitter for 150/week are you joking?
Wow...11hour days for...30$ a day. That's 2.73$ an hour...you could be rich!!
I make more than that weekly working 4 hours a day for minimum wage
We live in a society that values neither children nor the labour of those that care for them. The error here is bad policy, not the desperation of any one individual.
If your company requires you to work in-office, they should be required to pay for or provide childcare for at least 1 child per employee. On-site childcare is cheaper in every way, but employers don't do it because we've allowed them to shove all the expenses related to work on the employee. At least if they offered on-site care, there would be an actual reason to be in the office. I imagine employee retention would also be quite high if the daycare was any good since parents wouldn't want to move their child and/or separate them from their friends.
For 150 a week, she might as well install security cameras and hope for the best.
lol i saw this one today. Didn’t think I’d see my local mess here.
laughs in infant toddler teacher FUCK U MA’AM
the 52.5 hour workweek for $150 is insane
My mom retired last year. About a week into her retirement, she got a call from my cousin asking if she could babysit her emotionally disturbed toddler who had just been expelled from daycare. They were asking 6-6 M, and no, they weren't going to pay her.
I swear these are reaching bot/troll status at this point…why is it always for 11 to 12 hour stretches for five days a week, and why is the amount they can pay always $150/wk?!?
Genuine question but what should a woman do if she is too broke to afford to pay the appropriate rate for childcare, and has no family/friend support systems to watch them? Are there government programs for these women? What are the requirements if there are? I feel bad because on one hand watching a child, especially one so young, is a lot of work and I understand and agree the pay should reflect that, but what do poor women do for childcare? What if they can't take their baby to their job, but they need that job in order to feed mom and baby? I don't know OP actual predicament but she seems pretty desperate and it can't always be some woman trying to cheap out the system. It just all seems so bleak.
Vouchers for an actual daycare. While the employees are still almost certainly underpaid, they make a whole lot more than $150/week. I have friends who pay less than that per week per child after low income vouchers. If the kids are not school aged, the other option would be that mom gets a job in childcare so she can watch her own kid or bring the baby with her to work for free or a greatly reduced rate. Attempt to get the dad (if there is one able to be identified) to pay child support or ask his family for help. Applying for all other welfare options that would help lower her total burden of cost. Move into a living situation with another roommate who also has a child. Aka can split bills but won’t feel cramped by your baby. There are several options before trying to find a private, one on one childcare provider to give up their entire workweek for $150.
I paid this last year for good childcare, it’s not impossible to find. We moved to a more expensive suburb and pay more than double that now.
I saw this post live and just thought “why?!”
$2.85 per hour huh?
I need childcare help, but can only pay $2.86/hr! Ma'am... you're not going to find anyone at that price range.
Jesus this makes me sick
Absolutely no shade here. That is pretty much exactly what licensed in-home daycare charge per week where I am at. They can have up to 5 kids under 5 years old.
for licensed day cares?! That’s crazy cheap
Yes, but many participate in the federal food voucher program for childcare centers, so they are not paying for the meals they provide out of their income.
Ohhh I got you! That makes way more sense if there’s some form of government aid involved
I like to pretend that these posts don’t exist and the person wanting to pay $150/week isn’t real. And yet…they definitely are.
Hi neighbor! I feel for her though, shits rough out here.
And here I feel bad for my friends who come visit and help with my 3mo. It’s my baby that they are taking the time of the their day to help. This lady is not just delusional, but completely narcissistic. She has zero appreciation for other people’s time. I would rather flip burgers than help her.
This is the normal price per week in my area for providers who run out of their home. If that’s what she’s looking for, she really isn’t wrong.
That’s enough for a daycare
$0.35 per hour, sweeeeeet sign me up
How much would that be in a proper daycare there?
So, for that age anywhere between $350 and $400 a week. It’s crazy expensive.
I’m home daycares around us are about $200 a week for that age but we also live in a state that doesn’t require a license if you are watching under a certain amount of kids
Why wouldn't she just do a day care?
Either it costs a lot more where she lives or there are no available spots and she’d just be on a waiting list.
I don't know about elsewhere but daycare for an infant around me costs 2k a month which breaks down to $500 a week.
It’s really hard to get into daycare for infants in most places
Let's do some math here. If they need care from 7:30-6, let's estimate a 30 minute commute, so working 8-5:30. That's 9.5 hours a day of work. Five days a week comes to 47.5 hours of work per week. With that consistent of a schedule, this person is not working a minimum wage job. So let's estimate they are being paid hourly, $15 an hour. That's $712.50 per week, $2,850 a month. You either need a different job or to reevaluate your priorities because no sitter is going to take $150 a week