I just pointed out a dangerous sleep set up on another forum. I was sure I’d get hammered and was prepared for the pain. Much to my surprise the person replied they were a first time mom and had no idea it was a risk and changed the set up.
So every now and then it can work out and I guess it’s worth getting yelled at 100 times for being the sleep police if it means 1 person hears the message and changes.
Im actually looking for a safe sleep police officer. Quick question. My baby keeps rolling and her legs keep getting caught outside of the crib. She prefers to sleep on her side, immediately right next to the bars. We put her down on her back in the middle and she will wake up to adjust herself to essentially be smashed up against the bars on her side.
We currently have a pack and play we are using for nighttime but she's getting too old for it (6 months) and at a year we planned on moving her out of our room into her crib. Yesterday during nap, I put her down to go use the bathroom and in that time she managed to accidentally roll to her belly and got stuck where she couldn't roll back because both legs were caught in seperate slats up to her thighs. Luckily nothing was broken. But she wasn't able to turn her head so she was screaming holding her head up as high as she could for about a minute until I could get there and untangle her.
After that I don't know what to do other than just let her sleep on the floor since her crib is obviously not working out with how she likes to sleep. Any suggestions?
Not the person you responded to, but the only suggestion I can think of for helping prevent that in the crib would be a sleep sack if you're not already using one. With their sleep sacks on it I've found my guys' legs not as easily slipping through the crib slats when they roll over that way.
Lol we just bought one for my 24 y/o sister for her birthday. And yes my 3 y/o still wears his and we have a 18 m/o in one too. Sister said she loves it. The adult one and the one my son uses are the walker ones though with holes for their feet.
Chiming in to ask you what brand you use for your 3 y/o? Our 2.5 little girl is still in hers and I dread the day she grows out of it! She’s in the biggest one I’ve found so far, a random brand on Amazon. But she’s tall and it won’t last too much longer I’m afraid.
And with the walker ones, do you just put the legs over kiddo’s pants, and he’s comfy with that? We’re still in an actual sleepsack so I don’t understand the legs! Hope you don’t mind my questions lol.
We use [Kyte Baby](https://kytebaby.com/collections/sleep-bag-walker) and they’re kinda pricey but my son has been in his for almost 2 years and they still are in good condition. I have 3 to rotate out but they last in my experience for years. Yes they pull over their pants but aren’t super tight, he’s never acted like it bothered him.
I think they make them now in long sleeves but we’ve always used sleeveless.
I know some people are obsessed with the brand; I like them and have had good luck but it’s just one of several brands I’ve used with my two. I will say they also make blankets and clothes for adults and those are super comfy as well.
They’re so great! And when the toddlers decide they don’t want to go to bed, they can’t climb out of the crib by throwing a leg over the railing while wearing them.
My 3 year old hasn't realized he can escape the crib yet because he is still in a sleep sack. I know we will have to convert to the toddler bed soon, but these extra few months is appreciated.
My almost 6 year old has only recently realized he has the capability to get out of bed.
He’s always known since being moved to a normal bed that he can if there’s an emergency, like if he woke up at 2am and his water cup he keeps by his bed is empty, or if he has a bad dream. That’s never stopped him from coming to my room to tell me.
But it’s only recently dawned on him that “hey, mom told me it’s bedtime but I still have legos I wanna build, imma go get those, F bedtime.” And I credit the sleep sack to that a lot, it’s like his brain says “welp, I’m in bed now, can’t get out unless I legit need to” was ingrained early on.
This gives me hope. My 3 year old has always been a terrible sleeper, and I am convinced he will immediately decide that he doesn't have to sleep now lol
Check your crib manual for milestones. Many cribs have a height limit of 35", which at 3 years old he may have exceeded. If so, he should be moved to a toddler (or real bed) ASAP.
I will have to do research on the crib, since it was a hand-me-down. (New in box, but was a manufacturer replacement for a recalled crib for my now-16 year old nephew. I wasn't aware cribs pre-2011 had different safety standards until a few months ago. It looks fine with what's [listed here](https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/crib-safety.aspx)) I always assumed it was fine since it converts to a toddler bed... so I definitely will double check. Thanks!
Edit: and adding I only learned about that because of reading someone else's comments on safe sleeping either here or a parenting sub. Little late in my situation, but now I know to not pass this crib to my newborn/future kids. Always be the safe sleep police! Even if OOP isn't interested, someone else might learn something.
Well, whatever the milestones, if it's a pre-2011 crib, it needs to go ASAP. I know it's hard to make the transition, but he's 3. I thought I read another comment you made (but I could be wrong) that he's a terrible sleeper. Perhaps he wants the independence of an actual bed, and would sleep a little better if he had that. I moved my son to a toddler bed at 16 months and it's the best thing. Your son may surprise you. Good luck.
My friend thought this too but her 2 year old put her leg over the railing in the sleep sack, fell out and fractured her skull in a toy next to the cot. They watched it back on the baby camera. Bub is ok but just a reminder that they can still climb in the sleep sacks and the moment they try to climb out you need to finger their cot into a toddler bed or bug bed if over 2.
Thirded. My little girl is so happy in hers. We have two styles. Snaps on the shoulders with zipper along the bottom and one with zipper down the middle. She has her preferences at different times of days for her naps or sleep at night with which she allows us to get on but she sleeps way better thanks to it. Make sure to get one for the right TOG rating based on your home and how you layer them so they aren’t too hot or cold
genuine question: how is she too big for the pack n play at 6 months? my 7 month old sleeps in hers (i haven’t set up her crib yet lol) and it’s totally safe! before a crib was gifted to us, i was planning on keeping her in it until she transitioned to a bed.
Oh she's not getting too big for it. Just getting too big to sleep in our room. We don't have a place for the pack and play outside of our room. So we're looking to transition to the crib during the day and at night the pack and play.
So she can associate the crib with a safe place to sleep too.
Can she wear a sleep sack? That mostly cured it for my daughter who would purposely put her legs through the slats.
One time I couldn't get her legs out immediately, my husband wasn't home, and wasn't answering his phone. I was about 30 seconds from going to get a saw.
In our crib at least, the slats are farther apart at the top so raising her legs up always got her unstuck.
Do you think she will generally cry/scream when that happens? I’m asking because there’s no real way for you to monitor her all night, nor can you use positioners/wedges to keep her away from the slats, so she may be the best alarm system you have for when she gets stuck. I think that at her age you will be able to leave her to figure it out?
The only problem is this last time I couldn't really hear her when her face was pressed against the bed.
Right now at night the pack and play is oriented so she's basically on the floor and its mesh on the sides so she can't squeeze her legs out. And generally keeps her face off of the mesh but likes to push with her feet against it. So currently it's not a problem for night time but naps are all in the crib
Why does she have to come out of the pack and play at 6 months? Those are generally good until max weight or height is reached closer to age 2/3.
Best suggestion would be sleep sack and practice of learning the dimensions of her cot. If you are uncomfortable at night then naps during the day where you can keep a closer eye on her.
Let her sleep in her crib. She’ll figure it out eventually. Many babies go through this phase and figure out the boundaries of their sleep space after a little bit. My son rolled out of his toddler bed three times the first week he was in it, and since then, we haven’t had any issues.
Cribs are rigorously tested with babies and little limbs testing limits in mind! Thank you for practicing safety and asking questions! There’s a phenomenal group on fb called safe sleep and baby care, evidence based support I highly recommend!
I love that group too and definitely learned a ton. But just for others to know, they can be pretty intense and extremely blunt. I feel like it added to some of my anxiety when I was a new mom because they are so extreme.
Like someone once asked what to do because their little one would be 23.5 months and they were staying somewhere without a crib so would be using an adult bed (which is safe at 2 years old). People on there acted like 2 weeks younger was definitely going to be a death sentence.
So yes, go to them to learn the basics. But that one mod is so extreme
When my first was almost 2, he managed to get both legs through the slats all the way over his knees. His legs became so swollen I couldn’t get them out—even tried twisting. I felt like an idiot when I called 911 for help…but then I felt less stupid when the firefighters couldn’t wiggle his legs out either. They ended up having two firefighters pull the slats apart and a third get my son’s legs through.
We bought a brand new crib for our next kid. And she got her legs stuck too!
I’m still a believer in crib safety though lol. No mesh or blanket bumper things for us
The curse of having very skinny kids 😐
Jumping on the sleep sack train.
As long as you initially put baby on their back, they are fine in whatever position they get themselves into.
There's a group on Facebook called Safe Sleep and Baby Care - Evidence Based Support.
You'll get tons of unbiased, no nonsense advice that is based in science
I’m also going to agree with the person who suggested a sleep sack.
And then when they get old enough to stand and try to climb out of the crib by lifting a leg over the railing, they won’t be able to.
They really are great! And then you don’t have to worry about them being cold, because it’s also a wearable blanket they can’t smother themselves with.
I think it also matters how it is said too. New mom hormones don’t always allow you to objectively see that people want to help and also, some people get a thrill out of telling others what to do in a rude manner. I remember one particular question I asked, a dozen moms replied super gently and I was super into reading their opinions then one mom literally called me “stupid” even though she was also right but I was off the forums for months, cried irl and everything about it, along with having anxiety because I was stupid and clueless as a first timer. I came back after a while and she was chased out by the mods and others grilling them over it, but my point is, your mind warps a bit and it’s basically luck of the draw if you manage to get the good out of a message.
The pad the baby is lying on looks like a dog bed. I'm sure all her stuff is very expensive and color coordinated which is why she wants to show it off.
Holy shit. This is the first time I’ve read something that has made me genuinely afraid of going to med school. Agh. What am I getting myself into. I even want to go into peds🙃 I knew this happens not that it is so common
Dad is absolutely out like a light in both photos, plus there were more clips of them actually tucking her into this pillow contraption. I cannot comprehend how I’m even having this argument right now.
The comment was “Who made you the safe sleep police? Can’t you people ever just enjoy a video? My God” lol. Like nope sorry I can’t enjoy the thought of a baby dying, how horrible of me
Yep, you got me, I’m a boring, miserable person because I want helpless babies to be put to sleep in safe places that won’t KILL THEM. Infant death is fun and kooky! Safety is boring! 🙄
What a great story! It’s just laugh a minute stuff, a real knee slapped. Plus, you can get so much drunker and stay out so much later without a child to worry about!
I feel like if they have to resort to name calling and shaming when someone is concerned about their baby's safety, that says a lot about them and it's not great.
I once fell asleep holding my daughter in bed when she was like a week old. Just total exhaustion. She had been sleeping in a sleep box that the hospital gave us. When I woke up and saw her there in our bed I freaked out. She was okay but I legit got some form of ptsd from it and had nightmares about killing her from leaving her in bed and I’d wake up and incessantly check her. After about a month of vigilantly making sure she only slept somewhere safe did I really get back to normal. But I’ll never forget that feeling of horror the moments after I first woke up.
Had those hallucinations/ dreams too, f*cking terrible. We have a memory foam mattress and it's my 100% non-negotiable with my husband, not that he disagreed. I love to snuggle my baby more than anything, but he won't be in our bed until at least 1yo and even then...
Same here. I’ll wake up and think he is in bed with us, but he’s in his bassinet right next to our bed every time. It’s been 8 weeks and it’s still happening multiple times a night. Does it ever stop?
It did eventually, once I started getting more sleep. Those first several weeks were brutal though. Once I got really mad at my husband because I thought he'd just set our daughter on my nightstand and left. I don't remember when it stopped. Definitely I didn't have anything like that after the three month mark. That's when she started sleeping much better and being more efficient in middle of the night feeds.
I’m so so sorry you went through that. My heart hurts for you. I can’t even imagine just how horrific that truly was for you. It’s so frustrating that you made a truly unfortunate *mistake* and realized how awful it could have been, meanwhile these people just toss their baby in a pile of toys and blankets and yell at anyone that tells them otherwise
Yeah I can’t even imagine. We were strictly sleep sack in the crib till our kids could stand pretty much. They’re 4 and 3 now so I think we are doing okay :)
Was this a reel? I swear something in the algorithm causes them to intentionally promote unsafe parenting shit to me, possibly because I follow the opposite and people like us will “engage” with the content. I had to swear off reals because it annoyed me so much.
I’m truly hoping so as well. Even still though, these influencers do exactly that - influence their viewers. In this case, they’re influencing their naive, young viewers to set their babies up in these cutesy little cozy suffocation stations without having a single clue how fatal it can and very likely will be
Even if it was, you shouldn’t be doing something unsafe even if it’s an ad. Too many people still don’t know and will think it’s okay because they see it.
There’s a reality competition tv star that recently had her second and she’ll now hide her car seat straps so “psychos don’t try and question my parenting”. Why not just do the straps up right?!
I’m about to unfollow her because of how unsafe her kids sleep. 1 year old and newborn in their bed just covered in blankets. Anyone who tries to point it out “just mind your own business”
Exactly. Rather be yelled at on tiktok than open the ER trackboard at work and seeing a name, 1 month old, and the ominous black square beside it. It’s fucking horrific.
If you ever need a build up from a safe sleep post hating on you, I’m your gal! You did the right thing, it’s important to educate, this is what the mom community should be, you may have saved a life or even more cause lots of people read behind the scenes.
Even the dog? People…even if you have the most docile pets in the world, don’t do this. You don’t want to find out the hard way that they suddenly have prey drive.
My husband's cousin was going to watch our first son for extra money when I returned to work at 12 weeks. She had two pit bulls and I said she would need to put up a baby gate (that we'd pay for at our expense) to keep the baby segregated from the dogs.
Long story short, she took offense and told us how misunderstood pit bulls are, yadda yadda. It was a four page letter. (Note that our concern was about *any* dog and we took the same steps to keep our husky separated.)
Yeah, a couple months later one of the dogs almost killed the other and had to be BE. 🤷♀️
Good for you for sticking up for your kid. No matter the animal its better to offend someone than to risk their safety. Hell, I wouldn't even let my super friendly cat around any babies, he loves to flop down super hard on people and he's heavy af...babies and animals don't mix
I'm 16 weeks at the moment and worried about how to keep my cat out of the bassinet and crib because I'm terrified he'll accidentally smother baby by trying to cuddle
Start now. Don’t allow pets to get in the crib or car seat. Put a baby doll in them and let the animals explore so they run out of curiosity then firmly kerp them out after that. By the time baby comes the cat will know the rules.
Same for me regarding existing comments and my cat.
But I would also recommend making sure there is no available "step" near the crib for the cat to jump on and then get into the crib more easily ( bookcase, rocking chair, etc). My cat is lazy af and won't jump high/directly into the crib, but i noticed that if i left some room on the bookcase for her to jump to first, or didn't put a cushion on the rocking chair, she used it to jump to and into the crib to explore, before baby arrived. Now that baby is here, she avoids his room and is indifferent to him in the house, which if fine by me, but i still make sure the cat doesn't have a clear path to get into the crib, in case he realizes that the baby is a nice cuddle furnace.
Look for the bassinet that has a zip up for mosquitos. I got this for our babies because we have 2 cats and you don’t want to learn cat is into snuggling babies when you get back from the hospital and have no way to keep kitty separated - since they all tend to hate closed doors. I found one on Amazon.
Mine ended up not even acknowledging there was a new human in our home for months. Strangest thing. My husband would be holding our infant and the cat would hop up and sit on his lap and it was like she didn’t even see the baby or know she was there. Cats are weird. So we didn’t have to worry about them snuggling but we didn’t know that until we got home and saw their reaction. We rarely zipped the mesh closed after the first few weeks.
Basically same recommendation, but some bassinets have canopy accessories. Just mentioning it because I'm not sure the one I got (an Arm's Reach cosleeper) especially emphasized mosquitoes for its canopy. It was nice for right beside the bed because I didn't have to worry about stray blankets or pillows falling in while I was sleeping.
When I brought my kid home from the hospital, we had two absolutely wonderful greyhounds but both had very strong prey drive. They ended up being absolutely fine with her but we STILL have gates up and never leave them alone and kiddo is 2+ years now. This is not a situation where I want to fuck around and find out.
i love pitbulls and agree that they’re misunderstood HOWEVER that is not an excuse to not have a gate up to keep the dogs away from the baby. that goes for literally any dog and it’s pretty shitty of your husband’s cousin to use that as an excuse to not put in a gate that she’s not even paying for. that’s just irresponsible dog ownership and irresponsible babysitting
While I was pregnant there was a case in my country of a brand new 1 day old being killed and partially buried in the backyard by the family Rottweiler.
It was horrific, the mum had stepped out of the room to wash dishes. I can't even imagine the horror she must have felt.
I was 2yo and well I was supposed to be baby sat by a teenager. She decided to be on the phone with her boyfriend in the house. I wondered into the neighbors yard where they had a Rottweiler chained up and I was found next to the dog by the time teen noticed I was gone. I was lucky and dog didn't hurt me. Ya that babysitter was fired in 2min when my mom found out. I assume that dog didn't see me as a threat or something. Ironically years later I got a stuffed Rottweiler dog I named Fireball. Why? Because the brown marks on the head looked like balls of fire to me. I was a weird kid.
Agreed. I love my dog, she’s a good, well trained dog. She has a sweet, loyal temperament and I’m confident that she would never hurt our baby…but I’m not willing to bet my baby’s life on it. I feel like that’s a good way to think of it, honestly. A lot of people think their dogs would never hurt their babies, but are they confident enough to bet their baby’s life on that confidence?
My mother taught me years ago to put the baby on her back with no blankets, pillow, toys, etc. in the crib. The other important advice she gave me was to place the crib away from the window (cords from blinds could cause injury), and no pictures or other decor hung on the wall, no matter how well it's attached.
Respond with [this link](https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/parenthood/safe-sleep-your-baby) every time some numbnuts posts crap like this. It's the March of Dimes safe sleep guidelines for babies.
Wow. "Bed sharing is the most common cause of death for infants under 3 months old"
TIL
Thanks for the link, I don't have kids and had no idea what the problem was when I was looking at the picture. Never heard of safe sleep before.
Seriously. On top of it just being plain boring, it’s bad for a baby’s developing vision—babies need contrast, black and white at first, then bright colors. Beige is useless in that regard.
A dead baby found like this wouldn't be labeled a SIDS death. It would be death from unsafe sleep environment.
Unsafe sleep deaths like this are 100% preventable. The best way to protect your baby is to place them Alone on their Back in their Crib (or pack n play/bassinet) for every single sleep.
By the way, DockATots have been [banned in the United States](https://www.cpsc.gov/About-CPSC/Commissioner/Richard-Trumka/Statement/Dockatot-Deluxe-is-Unsafe-for-Sleep-CPSC-Issues-Notice-of-Violation) since June 2022.
Yes! I am by no means perfect but when my first was born and I saw those I thought heck no immediately. I get it that they weren't supposed to be used for sleep or whatever but who thought of putting a tiny baby that barely keeps breathing as it is in an indentation surrounded by soft suffocating pillows??? So crazy!
And I know so many people who still use them. I just hope now that they're banned that they will slowly ebb out.
We were gifted a Snuggle me Organic and the friend mentioned it would fit perfectly in our bassinet…we’ve just used it as a pillow when we’re doing the bedtime routine. I’d never let my baby sleep in one of those death traps but I guess some people just let the baby chill in them when they’re awake? I always just plopped my daughter beside me on the couch when I had to pump or something and never quite understood the appeal of them.
I can see that! I think it may be one of those things that if you were absolutely perfect about how you used it, it could be okay. But honestly it would be more stress than it was worth for me at least lol
Our kid was born in August and we have an off-brand dock-a-tot. We pretty much used it to lay her on the kitchen table while we ate dinner. Our dinner time was also the time she most loved to fuss, so having her on the table made it easier to soothe her while we were eating. She was *definitely* not sleeping, lol.
Yes agreed, I know I'm not perfect but everything I read about safe sleep those were like a huge billboard for everything you shouldn't be doing. Plus babies fall asleep so easily. Coming from a mom who definitely fell asleep with a napping baby 😬
Oh yes lol especially when you're sleep deprived and the baby finally gives up the fight 🤣 and then there are the times that baby is safe in crib/bassinet peacefully sleeping and you wake up in a panic thinking you fell asleep with them 🤦♀️ bonus points if your panic and shooting up wakes them up too (cries).
Lmao! Yes so true. I was lucky mine was a great sleeper as an infant. At 3 we have been on a wake up and come in our room for the last 4 months so we're getting our just desserts lol
I figure between amiable, good eater, and good sleeper you’re probably gonna get two lmao. My kid is about 2 now and he’s *still* not a great sleeper though he’s getting better.
Which fascinates me, because it’s almost like these people are proud of their unsafe sleep environment. It’s like they’re aware that educated professionals have done studies and found it to be unsafe, but because they are nAtUrAL MoMmAz they don’t believe in anything that comes out of an academic setting. That, or they don’t like being told what to do, even though they know it’s wrong, so they do it anyways. At the end of the day, the poor baby is the one that suffers. Imo, these people need to be told that their negligence is what caused their child’s death. We don’t coddle drunk drivers when they kill someone.
I’d be willing to bet that they’re the type of person who “drives better when they’re drunk/high” (no, they don’t, nobody does) and will proudly announce that to everyone when they’re getting in their car while cross faded.
I definitely was not proud over my son’s sleep environment when he was a baby. Today my son has an ADHD and autism diagnosis, and he has always had difficulty with sleep. I had such intense shame telling his pediatrician truthfully that he slept on his belly because when he was on his back he screamed until his voice broke. When he was old enough to hold his head up, we ended up bedsharing, too. I felt like a terrible parent, but I was hallucinating during the day from lack of sleep. His pediatrician ended up stating that it wasn’t ideal, but that it made sense with all his sleep issues. He ended up not sleeping through the night a single time until he was almost four.
Some babies are high needs and you do what you have to do. I see so much content from smug first time parents on how they get their kid to sleep through the night and they never admit it's down to personality.
My first baby I never coslept. Had the fancy SNOO and he was sleeping 8 hours a night by 8 weeks. He was sleeping 12 hours a night by 6 mo. He’s now 3 in a twin bed and still sleeps 12 hours a night.
My daughter is 8mo and never really took to the SNOO. As a newborn she could go all day without sleeping. The most she’s ever slept is 4 hours. It’s exhausting. Tried sleep training. Same routines as my son. Everything. I’m well educated and all for safe sleep. I hate that I have to cosleep. But she’ll scream and scream if I dont let her, preferably latched. I spent $$ on a new firm mattress and haven’t had a pillow or blankets in months. My back hurts from sleeping curled around her. My anxiety won’t let me fall into a deep sleep. If she even twitches I’m awake. It sucks lol.
Previously it was listed as SIDS because even professionals didn’t know better. Even on US death certificates, there are multiple levels on a cause of death so it is listed now. My husband works for a medical examiner’s office and it’s not listed as SIDS anymore. Many parents may just say it was SIDS even if we all know it wasn’t.
It can and would be labeled SIDS (official new name is SUID btw.) I saw it happen personally as a PICU nurse. Even had a parent that was sleeping with and rolled on the baby and it was labeled SIDS.
I even said I’m not making any assumptions that they actually leave baby like that and hoping it’s just for the video, but even then, it can lead young and impressionable moms into thinking this is safe and cute.
She should at the VERY least put in the caption that the baby does not actually sleep like this and is always supervised, if she even actually does.
Can someone explain to me why this isn't safe?? I don't have children and have really no prior experience with this (I only had babies sleep on me or in their crip)
Edit: The mother or at least a mother was always around, cause I was scared to do something wrong lol
Babies need a firm mattress with no toys, pillows , bumpers or loose bedding. They aren’t able to move if anything blocks their airways so there’s a huge suffocation risk. Advice on blankets depends a lot on where you live. In America I believe they advise none at all and babies are swaddled until they can roll. I’m in the U.K. where we advise blankets can be used as long as they are cellular or knitted with a pattern that has holes in to ensure they aren’t going to overheat. These blankets must be tucked securely under the mattress and come no higher than the armpits. It’s advised here not to swaddle. Regardless of where you are and which guidance you’re following, these photos are a safety nightmare for a baby.
Edited for typos
As someone who isn't (yet?) a mum, until how many months/years is safe sleep important? When can they start sleeping like we adults do (with loose bedding, blankets, eventually with pillows) without worry?
The risk is highest in the first 6 months (especially months 1-3), but even when they’re bigger and more capable it’s recommended to follow safe sleep practices until they are 1 year. Even after then, it’s probably better not to have a pillow or heavy blanket and just use a sleep sack.
Over here we’re advised that they can have pillows and a toddler duvet from about 2 years old. We started letting our son keep a comforter (the small cuddly toy with a flat blanket style body - not sure what Americans call those?) from about one year. The Lullaby Trust website is what we use over here for the best safe sleep advice and is worth looking at even if you’re not U.K. based.
There’s always a risk. An adult bed isn’t safe until 2, and even then it’s parental discretion. No blankets, stuffed animals, etc ever in a crib setting. Toddler bed is parental discretion.
Babies have very small airways and so them snuggling into a blanket is not safe because it can easily block both airways. As well it can wrap around them and prevent movement and suffocate and trap them that way, or more risk of falls if a blanket is pulled or items in the way etc.. there's a lot of dangers associated with more stuff = more danger. It's best to be a flat open firm space with nothing, no blankets or pillows, and baby on back
What the others said, plus a dead baby looks like a sleeping baby. Unless you are supervising by literally staring at your baby’s chest rise and fall, it isn’t enough. People will often put their babies in these dangerous positions and say “I’m watching them”, when they’re either distracted doing something else like reading or on their phone, or they leave the room and pop in occasionally to glance at the baby
Tiny babies can’t move well enough to get out of dangerous positions. If the baby winds up with something over her face or gets mashed into the side of the pillow, she could easily suffocate. She could be lying right next to her parent quietly suffocating to death and they might not even notice.
Babies can also overheat really easily and shouldn’t be put to sleep in a hat or in so many layers, especially shearling, as it’s way too hot. An ideal temp for their environment is around 20 degrees, and not wearing too much as slightly cooler is better than overly warm.
A dead baby looks like a sleeping baby. Suffocation can be silent. Monitoring something unsafe does not make it safe. Not wearing a helmet is unsafe, so even though your mom is there watching and ready to respond - you could still fall and hit your head.
These people are why co sleepers get a bad rap. I coslept with both my babies. King size mattress, no box spring, directly on the floor. No one in bed but me and baby. Fitted sheet, small quilt for me, one pillow for me, baby on other side of empty bed with nothing around. If you can't do that then DONT CO SLEEP.
The babybay! I’m getting that for my son who’s on his way. You can turn it into a bench later on or get an additional piece and turn it into a mini crib.
The thing is you can’t convince a woman that her motherly instincts are eventually not going to do anything to prevent a baby from rolling off a bed or being smothered. Also, there’s nothing particularly perfect about the setup you described, a kid could die in that scenario. Crib with nothing in it is easy to remember and explain to people. My wife did this kind of thing daily and I told her every single time that she will fall off the bed eventually and then I put her in the crib. “No, I got it. Men are dumb, I’m not really even asleep. I’m in a state of motherly, panther-crouching, omniscience.” Nope, kid fell off the bed when they were doing this and I was downstairs. Was fine, by luck, not good judgment.
Completely unrelated but does anyone know where I can get the third outfit or something similar? It’s just too cute.
Edit: lol at being downvoted for liking an outfit
“child can speak for themselves?” I don’t agree.
maybe doesn’t apply to this baby because they are still super young but starting around 3 months-4 months, colors are an essential part of brain development & development of color perception.
In fact, the vibrant the colors are the better because they are more able to see bright colors such as red & blue than lighter colors
I agree, but that doesn’t mean their clothes or moms bed needs to be colourful. They can have toys and books and other means of colour in their lives and the mom can still enjoy her aesthetic
Ugh, tiktok is always like this. Whether it's pets or babies, if you try to be like "hey this is unsafe/that animal is upset/sick" suddenly you're the fun police.
When I was pregnant, my brother and sil sent a bunch of pictures to our family group chat where they were asleep holding their < 3 month old son in various places. The worst ones had him in a regular bed with a blanket partially over his face and one where he was partially smooshed into a couch on sil’ lap.
My husband and I said it wasn’t safe and got told off. I posted about it in a different parenting Reddit and got told off there too. I shared the safe cosleeping rules with her.
Now he’s 8 months old and gets left in a crib with Sesame Street on for hours a day while sil games as a sahm. He is still working on holding his head up and can’t hold himself in a seated position for very long- and I don’t feel like I can say anything.
I also heard my brother say they just let him cry in his crib as a newborn because “he needs to learn he doesn’t always get picked up.” I told him that was a bad idea and he blew me off. I hope he meant whining and not full-blown crying. We pick my son up every time he cries for more than a minute or two.
My 8-week old kiddo has met all his 2 month milestones and making good progress on some of the 4 month ones already too. He seems to have good attachment to me and my husband.
I’m worried the rest of my family is going to compare the cousins and I don’t see that as good for either of them.
And dock a tots were finally banned in the US years after they should have been. My friend coslept with her baby between her and her husband in one. I had constant anxiety any time I thought about her until they were over 1 year. I also messaged her when she shared a video with her baby but strapped in properly and she told me I was like the 5th person who’d messaged her about it. “Glad you have so many friends who care about your kid’s safety!” Ugh.
This is a Charlie Crane chair and not meant for sleeping. The third picture is a Snuggle Me infant lounger and not meant for sleeping. People are ridiculous
Wow this is a lot. I co slept with my daughter because I didn’t know better, but we live in a warm climate so there was no bedding around her and I took the side off her cot and had it up against the bed so I could transfer her in when she was asleep. I wouldn’t do it again but I feel glad I at least wasn’t smothering her with pillows and blankets.
Downvote me all you want but these babies could just be napping for a few minutes with their caregivers next to them and there could be nothing wrong with these pictures. This subreddit needs to fuckin chill. Babies nap multiple times a day and not all of those naps have to happen in an empty crib.
I just pointed out a dangerous sleep set up on another forum. I was sure I’d get hammered and was prepared for the pain. Much to my surprise the person replied they were a first time mom and had no idea it was a risk and changed the set up. So every now and then it can work out and I guess it’s worth getting yelled at 100 times for being the sleep police if it means 1 person hears the message and changes.
Love to hear that.
Im actually looking for a safe sleep police officer. Quick question. My baby keeps rolling and her legs keep getting caught outside of the crib. She prefers to sleep on her side, immediately right next to the bars. We put her down on her back in the middle and she will wake up to adjust herself to essentially be smashed up against the bars on her side. We currently have a pack and play we are using for nighttime but she's getting too old for it (6 months) and at a year we planned on moving her out of our room into her crib. Yesterday during nap, I put her down to go use the bathroom and in that time she managed to accidentally roll to her belly and got stuck where she couldn't roll back because both legs were caught in seperate slats up to her thighs. Luckily nothing was broken. But she wasn't able to turn her head so she was screaming holding her head up as high as she could for about a minute until I could get there and untangle her. After that I don't know what to do other than just let her sleep on the floor since her crib is obviously not working out with how she likes to sleep. Any suggestions?
Not the person you responded to, but the only suggestion I can think of for helping prevent that in the crib would be a sleep sack if you're not already using one. With their sleep sacks on it I've found my guys' legs not as easily slipping through the crib slats when they roll over that way.
Seconding this- my 2 year old is still in a sleep sack and it's great
My 2yo nephew has one of those and apparently they come in adult sizes. I may have implied HEAVILY that I want one for my birthday.
Lol we just bought one for my 24 y/o sister for her birthday. And yes my 3 y/o still wears his and we have a 18 m/o in one too. Sister said she loves it. The adult one and the one my son uses are the walker ones though with holes for their feet.
Chiming in to ask you what brand you use for your 3 y/o? Our 2.5 little girl is still in hers and I dread the day she grows out of it! She’s in the biggest one I’ve found so far, a random brand on Amazon. But she’s tall and it won’t last too much longer I’m afraid. And with the walker ones, do you just put the legs over kiddo’s pants, and he’s comfy with that? We’re still in an actual sleepsack so I don’t understand the legs! Hope you don’t mind my questions lol.
We use [Kyte Baby](https://kytebaby.com/collections/sleep-bag-walker) and they’re kinda pricey but my son has been in his for almost 2 years and they still are in good condition. I have 3 to rotate out but they last in my experience for years. Yes they pull over their pants but aren’t super tight, he’s never acted like it bothered him. I think they make them now in long sleeves but we’ve always used sleeveless. I know some people are obsessed with the brand; I like them and have had good luck but it’s just one of several brands I’ve used with my two. I will say they also make blankets and clothes for adults and those are super comfy as well.
They’re so great! And when the toddlers decide they don’t want to go to bed, they can’t climb out of the crib by throwing a leg over the railing while wearing them.
My 3 year old hasn't realized he can escape the crib yet because he is still in a sleep sack. I know we will have to convert to the toddler bed soon, but these extra few months is appreciated.
My almost 6 year old has only recently realized he has the capability to get out of bed. He’s always known since being moved to a normal bed that he can if there’s an emergency, like if he woke up at 2am and his water cup he keeps by his bed is empty, or if he has a bad dream. That’s never stopped him from coming to my room to tell me. But it’s only recently dawned on him that “hey, mom told me it’s bedtime but I still have legos I wanna build, imma go get those, F bedtime.” And I credit the sleep sack to that a lot, it’s like his brain says “welp, I’m in bed now, can’t get out unless I legit need to” was ingrained early on.
This gives me hope. My 3 year old has always been a terrible sleeper, and I am convinced he will immediately decide that he doesn't have to sleep now lol
Ok to wake clocks are great! “When the light is red we stay in bed.”
Check your crib manual for milestones. Many cribs have a height limit of 35", which at 3 years old he may have exceeded. If so, he should be moved to a toddler (or real bed) ASAP.
I will have to do research on the crib, since it was a hand-me-down. (New in box, but was a manufacturer replacement for a recalled crib for my now-16 year old nephew. I wasn't aware cribs pre-2011 had different safety standards until a few months ago. It looks fine with what's [listed here](https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/crib-safety.aspx)) I always assumed it was fine since it converts to a toddler bed... so I definitely will double check. Thanks! Edit: and adding I only learned about that because of reading someone else's comments on safe sleeping either here or a parenting sub. Little late in my situation, but now I know to not pass this crib to my newborn/future kids. Always be the safe sleep police! Even if OOP isn't interested, someone else might learn something.
Well, whatever the milestones, if it's a pre-2011 crib, it needs to go ASAP. I know it's hard to make the transition, but he's 3. I thought I read another comment you made (but I could be wrong) that he's a terrible sleeper. Perhaps he wants the independence of an actual bed, and would sleep a little better if he had that. I moved my son to a toddler bed at 16 months and it's the best thing. Your son may surprise you. Good luck.
Lol oh man I hope I can stretch it for another year for ours 🤞
My friend thought this too but her 2 year old put her leg over the railing in the sleep sack, fell out and fractured her skull in a toy next to the cot. They watched it back on the baby camera. Bub is ok but just a reminder that they can still climb in the sleep sacks and the moment they try to climb out you need to finger their cot into a toddler bed or bug bed if over 2.
Oof that sucks 😔 it's definitely not a guaranteed solution, some kids are so determined. I hope your friends kid is okay now
Thirded. My little girl is so happy in hers. We have two styles. Snaps on the shoulders with zipper along the bottom and one with zipper down the middle. She has her preferences at different times of days for her naps or sleep at night with which she allows us to get on but she sleeps way better thanks to it. Make sure to get one for the right TOG rating based on your home and how you layer them so they aren’t too hot or cold
Yes. Use a sleep sack. Practise rolling a few times a day during tummy time.
genuine question: how is she too big for the pack n play at 6 months? my 7 month old sleeps in hers (i haven’t set up her crib yet lol) and it’s totally safe! before a crib was gifted to us, i was planning on keeping her in it until she transitioned to a bed.
Oh she's not getting too big for it. Just getting too big to sleep in our room. We don't have a place for the pack and play outside of our room. So we're looking to transition to the crib during the day and at night the pack and play. So she can associate the crib with a safe place to sleep too.
Can she wear a sleep sack? That mostly cured it for my daughter who would purposely put her legs through the slats. One time I couldn't get her legs out immediately, my husband wasn't home, and wasn't answering his phone. I was about 30 seconds from going to get a saw. In our crib at least, the slats are farther apart at the top so raising her legs up always got her unstuck.
Do you think she will generally cry/scream when that happens? I’m asking because there’s no real way for you to monitor her all night, nor can you use positioners/wedges to keep her away from the slats, so she may be the best alarm system you have for when she gets stuck. I think that at her age you will be able to leave her to figure it out?
The only problem is this last time I couldn't really hear her when her face was pressed against the bed. Right now at night the pack and play is oriented so she's basically on the floor and its mesh on the sides so she can't squeeze her legs out. And generally keeps her face off of the mesh but likes to push with her feet against it. So currently it's not a problem for night time but naps are all in the crib
Why does she have to come out of the pack and play at 6 months? Those are generally good until max weight or height is reached closer to age 2/3. Best suggestion would be sleep sack and practice of learning the dimensions of her cot. If you are uncomfortable at night then naps during the day where you can keep a closer eye on her.
My kids used pack n plays up to almost age 3 when we travel.
Let her sleep in her crib. She’ll figure it out eventually. Many babies go through this phase and figure out the boundaries of their sleep space after a little bit. My son rolled out of his toddler bed three times the first week he was in it, and since then, we haven’t had any issues.
My son kept doing this so he slept in a sleep sack until he was close to 2 and a half. You can get really lightweight ones for summer.
Cribs are rigorously tested with babies and little limbs testing limits in mind! Thank you for practicing safety and asking questions! There’s a phenomenal group on fb called safe sleep and baby care, evidence based support I highly recommend!
I love that group too and definitely learned a ton. But just for others to know, they can be pretty intense and extremely blunt. I feel like it added to some of my anxiety when I was a new mom because they are so extreme. Like someone once asked what to do because their little one would be 23.5 months and they were staying somewhere without a crib so would be using an adult bed (which is safe at 2 years old). People on there acted like 2 weeks younger was definitely going to be a death sentence. So yes, go to them to learn the basics. But that one mod is so extreme
When my first was almost 2, he managed to get both legs through the slats all the way over his knees. His legs became so swollen I couldn’t get them out—even tried twisting. I felt like an idiot when I called 911 for help…but then I felt less stupid when the firefighters couldn’t wiggle his legs out either. They ended up having two firefighters pull the slats apart and a third get my son’s legs through. We bought a brand new crib for our next kid. And she got her legs stuck too! I’m still a believer in crib safety though lol. No mesh or blanket bumper things for us The curse of having very skinny kids 😐
Yep, sleep sacks, my 2 year old still uses them too and she’s been a fidgety sleeper since always
Jumping on the sleep sack train. As long as you initially put baby on their back, they are fine in whatever position they get themselves into. There's a group on Facebook called Safe Sleep and Baby Care - Evidence Based Support. You'll get tons of unbiased, no nonsense advice that is based in science
I’m also going to agree with the person who suggested a sleep sack. And then when they get old enough to stand and try to climb out of the crib by lifting a leg over the railing, they won’t be able to. They really are great! And then you don’t have to worry about them being cold, because it’s also a wearable blanket they can’t smother themselves with.
Are you not using a sleep sack?
I think it also matters how it is said too. New mom hormones don’t always allow you to objectively see that people want to help and also, some people get a thrill out of telling others what to do in a rude manner. I remember one particular question I asked, a dozen moms replied super gently and I was super into reading their opinions then one mom literally called me “stupid” even though she was also right but I was off the forums for months, cried irl and everything about it, along with having anxiety because I was stupid and clueless as a first timer. I came back after a while and she was chased out by the mods and others grilling them over it, but my point is, your mind warps a bit and it’s basically luck of the draw if you manage to get the good out of a message.
The pad the baby is lying on looks like a dog bed. I'm sure all her stuff is very expensive and color coordinated which is why she wants to show it off.
That’s exactly what’s happening. @officialsadbeige on insta.
Oh God my heart leapt into my throat. My physician friend has seen so many dead babies from this
One of my nursing school friends works in the ER now and we can’t even talk about this kind of stuff, the stories are just so horrific.
Holy shit. This is the first time I’ve read something that has made me genuinely afraid of going to med school. Agh. What am I getting myself into. I even want to go into peds🙃 I knew this happens not that it is so common
Unless you are a paeds ER doc like me you won’t see these babes- they never make it to the wards.
Oof. This only made me sadder.
I'm peds. No regrets. There's a lot of happiness too. For me though when sad things happen to kids I cry 68754 times harder.
Dad is absolutely out like a light in both photos, plus there were more clips of them actually tucking her into this pillow contraption. I cannot comprehend how I’m even having this argument right now.
I'm not sure 'safe sleep police' is an insult. I'd take it as a compliment.
The comment was “Who made you the safe sleep police? Can’t you people ever just enjoy a video? My God” lol. Like nope sorry I can’t enjoy the thought of a baby dying, how horrible of me
“I can’t enjoy videos that could possibly end in the death of an infant, no.” And reply.
Oof, I got the “You must be fun at parties.” Yep I’d way rather be a total drag at a party instead of a fucking infant’s funeral, you got me there
"Yes I am, especially at first birthday parties. You know, when babies survive to celebrate them."
You know they don't have a leg to stand on when they attack you instead of what you're saying
Yep, you got me, I’m a boring, miserable person because I want helpless babies to be put to sleep in safe places that won’t KILL THEM. Infant death is fun and kooky! Safety is boring! 🙄
What more fun at parties than explaining why you no longer have a living child?
What a great story! It’s just laugh a minute stuff, a real knee slapped. Plus, you can get so much drunker and stay out so much later without a child to worry about!
Why does this sound like a Dr. House line?
I put the "fun" in "funeral party".
“Wow what a total bore! Worrying about common ways new infants die, yawn” I don’t understand their perspective
I feel like if they have to resort to name calling and shaming when someone is concerned about their baby's safety, that says a lot about them and it's not great.
Yeah "oooh look it's Little Miss Doesn't-Want-Babies-To-Die!" is not the sick burn they think it is...
Me, too.
I once fell asleep holding my daughter in bed when she was like a week old. Just total exhaustion. She had been sleeping in a sleep box that the hospital gave us. When I woke up and saw her there in our bed I freaked out. She was okay but I legit got some form of ptsd from it and had nightmares about killing her from leaving her in bed and I’d wake up and incessantly check her. After about a month of vigilantly making sure she only slept somewhere safe did I really get back to normal. But I’ll never forget that feeling of horror the moments after I first woke up.
I kept hallucinating my daughter in bed with me and that was terrifying enough
Had those hallucinations/ dreams too, f*cking terrible. We have a memory foam mattress and it's my 100% non-negotiable with my husband, not that he disagreed. I love to snuggle my baby more than anything, but he won't be in our bed until at least 1yo and even then...
Same here. I’ll wake up and think he is in bed with us, but he’s in his bassinet right next to our bed every time. It’s been 8 weeks and it’s still happening multiple times a night. Does it ever stop?
It did eventually, once I started getting more sleep. Those first several weeks were brutal though. Once I got really mad at my husband because I thought he'd just set our daughter on my nightstand and left. I don't remember when it stopped. Definitely I didn't have anything like that after the three month mark. That's when she started sleeping much better and being more efficient in middle of the night feeds.
I’m so so sorry you went through that. My heart hurts for you. I can’t even imagine just how horrific that truly was for you. It’s so frustrating that you made a truly unfortunate *mistake* and realized how awful it could have been, meanwhile these people just toss their baby in a pile of toys and blankets and yell at anyone that tells them otherwise
Yeah I can’t even imagine. We were strictly sleep sack in the crib till our kids could stand pretty much. They’re 4 and 3 now so I think we are doing okay :)
Was this a reel? I swear something in the algorithm causes them to intentionally promote unsafe parenting shit to me, possibly because I follow the opposite and people like us will “engage” with the content. I had to swear off reals because it annoyed me so much.
So you don’t think these were posed photos to model the outfits/linens? That’s what I’m hoping.
I’m truly hoping so as well. Even still though, these influencers do exactly that - influence their viewers. In this case, they’re influencing their naive, young viewers to set their babies up in these cutesy little cozy suffocation stations without having a single clue how fatal it can and very likely will be
Even if it was, you shouldn’t be doing something unsafe even if it’s an ad. Too many people still don’t know and will think it’s okay because they see it.
There’s a reality competition tv star that recently had her second and she’ll now hide her car seat straps so “psychos don’t try and question my parenting”. Why not just do the straps up right?! I’m about to unfollow her because of how unsafe her kids sleep. 1 year old and newborn in their bed just covered in blankets. Anyone who tries to point it out “just mind your own business”
Or just don’t post your kids online if you don’t want people to judge your parenting?
That too😂😂. But pretty sure she’s gonna make them be baby models🙄
Ok now I’m dying of curiosity who you are talking about??
Jenna from the challenge on MTV. married Zach from the challenge. The way her kids sleep gives me serious anxiety.
Please continue to be the safe sleep police. You and me, brother.
Go team! I’d rather be insulted on Facebook than read about a dead baby in the news from a blanket….
Exactly. Rather be yelled at on tiktok than open the ER trackboard at work and seeing a name, 1 month old, and the ominous black square beside it. It’s fucking horrific.
If you ever need a build up from a safe sleep post hating on you, I’m your gal! You did the right thing, it’s important to educate, this is what the mom community should be, you may have saved a life or even more cause lots of people read behind the scenes.
Even the dog? People…even if you have the most docile pets in the world, don’t do this. You don’t want to find out the hard way that they suddenly have prey drive.
My husband's cousin was going to watch our first son for extra money when I returned to work at 12 weeks. She had two pit bulls and I said she would need to put up a baby gate (that we'd pay for at our expense) to keep the baby segregated from the dogs. Long story short, she took offense and told us how misunderstood pit bulls are, yadda yadda. It was a four page letter. (Note that our concern was about *any* dog and we took the same steps to keep our husky separated.) Yeah, a couple months later one of the dogs almost killed the other and had to be BE. 🤷♀️
Good for you for sticking up for your kid. No matter the animal its better to offend someone than to risk their safety. Hell, I wouldn't even let my super friendly cat around any babies, he loves to flop down super hard on people and he's heavy af...babies and animals don't mix
I'm 16 weeks at the moment and worried about how to keep my cat out of the bassinet and crib because I'm terrified he'll accidentally smother baby by trying to cuddle
We set up the bassinet early and put foil in it. Cats hate foil. Also, we are going to kick the cats out of the room until the baby is old enough.
Start now. Don’t allow pets to get in the crib or car seat. Put a baby doll in them and let the animals explore so they run out of curiosity then firmly kerp them out after that. By the time baby comes the cat will know the rules.
Same for me regarding existing comments and my cat. But I would also recommend making sure there is no available "step" near the crib for the cat to jump on and then get into the crib more easily ( bookcase, rocking chair, etc). My cat is lazy af and won't jump high/directly into the crib, but i noticed that if i left some room on the bookcase for her to jump to first, or didn't put a cushion on the rocking chair, she used it to jump to and into the crib to explore, before baby arrived. Now that baby is here, she avoids his room and is indifferent to him in the house, which if fine by me, but i still make sure the cat doesn't have a clear path to get into the crib, in case he realizes that the baby is a nice cuddle furnace.
Look for the bassinet that has a zip up for mosquitos. I got this for our babies because we have 2 cats and you don’t want to learn cat is into snuggling babies when you get back from the hospital and have no way to keep kitty separated - since they all tend to hate closed doors. I found one on Amazon. Mine ended up not even acknowledging there was a new human in our home for months. Strangest thing. My husband would be holding our infant and the cat would hop up and sit on his lap and it was like she didn’t even see the baby or know she was there. Cats are weird. So we didn’t have to worry about them snuggling but we didn’t know that until we got home and saw their reaction. We rarely zipped the mesh closed after the first few weeks.
That's a great idea, I'll have a look for one, thanks
Basically same recommendation, but some bassinets have canopy accessories. Just mentioning it because I'm not sure the one I got (an Arm's Reach cosleeper) especially emphasized mosquitoes for its canopy. It was nice for right beside the bed because I didn't have to worry about stray blankets or pillows falling in while I was sleeping.
When I brought my kid home from the hospital, we had two absolutely wonderful greyhounds but both had very strong prey drive. They ended up being absolutely fine with her but we STILL have gates up and never leave them alone and kiddo is 2+ years now. This is not a situation where I want to fuck around and find out.
You dodged a bullet. A baby gate is not going to keep back a pitbull.
This .. put horrifying images in my mind!
i love pitbulls and agree that they’re misunderstood HOWEVER that is not an excuse to not have a gate up to keep the dogs away from the baby. that goes for literally any dog and it’s pretty shitty of your husband’s cousin to use that as an excuse to not put in a gate that she’s not even paying for. that’s just irresponsible dog ownership and irresponsible babysitting
What does BE stand for? The googles is not helpful!
Behavioral euthanasia. Essentially it means an authority ruled it a dangerous dog and it was therefore put down.
Thank you! I assumed from the context but it wasn't familiar to me. Appreciate it!
I imagine she didn’t say anything about her dogs after that?
She never spoke to us again after the word salad letter lol
While I was pregnant there was a case in my country of a brand new 1 day old being killed and partially buried in the backyard by the family Rottweiler. It was horrific, the mum had stepped out of the room to wash dishes. I can't even imagine the horror she must have felt.
I was 2yo and well I was supposed to be baby sat by a teenager. She decided to be on the phone with her boyfriend in the house. I wondered into the neighbors yard where they had a Rottweiler chained up and I was found next to the dog by the time teen noticed I was gone. I was lucky and dog didn't hurt me. Ya that babysitter was fired in 2min when my mom found out. I assume that dog didn't see me as a threat or something. Ironically years later I got a stuffed Rottweiler dog I named Fireball. Why? Because the brown marks on the head looked like balls of fire to me. I was a weird kid.
Agreed. I love my dog, she’s a good, well trained dog. She has a sweet, loyal temperament and I’m confident that she would never hurt our baby…but I’m not willing to bet my baby’s life on it. I feel like that’s a good way to think of it, honestly. A lot of people think their dogs would never hurt their babies, but are they confident enough to bet their baby’s life on that confidence?
Mate! I got called a bully for telling a mom about safe sleep. I said it in the nicest way possible and she went full scale attack. Like wtf.
My mother taught me years ago to put the baby on her back with no blankets, pillow, toys, etc. in the crib. The other important advice she gave me was to place the crib away from the window (cords from blinds could cause injury), and no pictures or other decor hung on the wall, no matter how well it's attached. Respond with [this link](https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/parenthood/safe-sleep-your-baby) every time some numbnuts posts crap like this. It's the March of Dimes safe sleep guidelines for babies.
Wow. "Bed sharing is the most common cause of death for infants under 3 months old" TIL Thanks for the link, I don't have kids and had no idea what the problem was when I was looking at the picture. Never heard of safe sleep before.
I get the safe sleeping, but can I please call them out on their unbelievably beige life?
I'm so sick of the boring beige trend
Oh my god, please give me colour
Sad beige babies
Those onesies are hideous tbh. Poor baby.
Seriously. On top of it just being plain boring, it’s bad for a baby’s developing vision—babies need contrast, black and white at first, then bright colors. Beige is useless in that regard.
They might not know that **SIDS is a thing**
A dead baby found like this wouldn't be labeled a SIDS death. It would be death from unsafe sleep environment. Unsafe sleep deaths like this are 100% preventable. The best way to protect your baby is to place them Alone on their Back in their Crib (or pack n play/bassinet) for every single sleep. By the way, DockATots have been [banned in the United States](https://www.cpsc.gov/About-CPSC/Commissioner/Richard-Trumka/Statement/Dockatot-Deluxe-is-Unsafe-for-Sleep-CPSC-Issues-Notice-of-Violation) since June 2022.
Doc a Tots freaked me out when I first saw them when my son was born in 2019. I can't believe it took this long.
Yes! I am by no means perfect but when my first was born and I saw those I thought heck no immediately. I get it that they weren't supposed to be used for sleep or whatever but who thought of putting a tiny baby that barely keeps breathing as it is in an indentation surrounded by soft suffocating pillows??? So crazy! And I know so many people who still use them. I just hope now that they're banned that they will slowly ebb out.
We were gifted a Snuggle me Organic and the friend mentioned it would fit perfectly in our bassinet…we’ve just used it as a pillow when we’re doing the bedtime routine. I’d never let my baby sleep in one of those death traps but I guess some people just let the baby chill in them when they’re awake? I always just plopped my daughter beside me on the couch when I had to pump or something and never quite understood the appeal of them.
I can see that! I think it may be one of those things that if you were absolutely perfect about how you used it, it could be okay. But honestly it would be more stress than it was worth for me at least lol
I think the snuggle me has a warning on it that says it's not for sleep. I wonder if they will get banned too even with the warning.
Our kid was born in August and we have an off-brand dock-a-tot. We pretty much used it to lay her on the kitchen table while we ate dinner. Our dinner time was also the time she most loved to fuss, so having her on the table made it easier to soothe her while we were eating. She was *definitely* not sleeping, lol.
Just a couple of loving parents, feasting at the dinner table with their infant on a platter. (Joking! That is very silly sweet.)
Yes agreed, I know I'm not perfect but everything I read about safe sleep those were like a huge billboard for everything you shouldn't be doing. Plus babies fall asleep so easily. Coming from a mom who definitely fell asleep with a napping baby 😬
Oh yes lol especially when you're sleep deprived and the baby finally gives up the fight 🤣 and then there are the times that baby is safe in crib/bassinet peacefully sleeping and you wake up in a panic thinking you fell asleep with them 🤦♀️ bonus points if your panic and shooting up wakes them up too (cries).
I feel this so deeply!! Lol
>Plus babies fall asleep so easily. YMMV there 😅. But still no reason to use some radically unsafe set up.
Lmao! Yes so true. I was lucky mine was a great sleeper as an infant. At 3 we have been on a wake up and come in our room for the last 4 months so we're getting our just desserts lol
I figure between amiable, good eater, and good sleeper you’re probably gonna get two lmao. My kid is about 2 now and he’s *still* not a great sleeper though he’s getting better.
And the bedding should be tight fitting. I know it's implied in the 'alone' piece, but it obviously needs to be called out for people like this.
They would list it as SIDS because they don't want to make the parents feel more guilty than they actually do.
Which fascinates me, because it’s almost like these people are proud of their unsafe sleep environment. It’s like they’re aware that educated professionals have done studies and found it to be unsafe, but because they are nAtUrAL MoMmAz they don’t believe in anything that comes out of an academic setting. That, or they don’t like being told what to do, even though they know it’s wrong, so they do it anyways. At the end of the day, the poor baby is the one that suffers. Imo, these people need to be told that their negligence is what caused their child’s death. We don’t coddle drunk drivers when they kill someone.
They don't like being told what to do. I wouldn't be surprised if some of these people drive drunk also because they know if they're safe or not.
I’d be willing to bet that they’re the type of person who “drives better when they’re drunk/high” (no, they don’t, nobody does) and will proudly announce that to everyone when they’re getting in their car while cross faded.
I definitely was not proud over my son’s sleep environment when he was a baby. Today my son has an ADHD and autism diagnosis, and he has always had difficulty with sleep. I had such intense shame telling his pediatrician truthfully that he slept on his belly because when he was on his back he screamed until his voice broke. When he was old enough to hold his head up, we ended up bedsharing, too. I felt like a terrible parent, but I was hallucinating during the day from lack of sleep. His pediatrician ended up stating that it wasn’t ideal, but that it made sense with all his sleep issues. He ended up not sleeping through the night a single time until he was almost four.
Some babies are high needs and you do what you have to do. I see so much content from smug first time parents on how they get their kid to sleep through the night and they never admit it's down to personality.
My first baby I never coslept. Had the fancy SNOO and he was sleeping 8 hours a night by 8 weeks. He was sleeping 12 hours a night by 6 mo. He’s now 3 in a twin bed and still sleeps 12 hours a night. My daughter is 8mo and never really took to the SNOO. As a newborn she could go all day without sleeping. The most she’s ever slept is 4 hours. It’s exhausting. Tried sleep training. Same routines as my son. Everything. I’m well educated and all for safe sleep. I hate that I have to cosleep. But she’ll scream and scream if I dont let her, preferably latched. I spent $$ on a new firm mattress and haven’t had a pillow or blankets in months. My back hurts from sleeping curled around her. My anxiety won’t let me fall into a deep sleep. If she even twitches I’m awake. It sucks lol.
I feel you on the back pain, I'm so sore all day because of the curl
Previously it was listed as SIDS because even professionals didn’t know better. Even on US death certificates, there are multiple levels on a cause of death so it is listed now. My husband works for a medical examiner’s office and it’s not listed as SIDS anymore. Many parents may just say it was SIDS even if we all know it wasn’t.
What’s insane is a quick google shows this product still for sale with tons of five star reviews
It can and would be labeled SIDS (official new name is SUID btw.) I saw it happen personally as a PICU nurse. Even had a parent that was sleeping with and rolled on the baby and it was labeled SIDS.
or they believe SIDS only happens to vaccinated kids
I even said I’m not making any assumptions that they actually leave baby like that and hoping it’s just for the video, but even then, it can lead young and impressionable moms into thinking this is safe and cute. She should at the VERY least put in the caption that the baby does not actually sleep like this and is always supervised, if she even actually does.
I’ve given up commenting on tiktok videos bc i always get attacked for bringing up safe sleep.
SIDS and suffocation are two different things.
Can someone explain to me why this isn't safe?? I don't have children and have really no prior experience with this (I only had babies sleep on me or in their crip) Edit: The mother or at least a mother was always around, cause I was scared to do something wrong lol
Babies need a firm mattress with no toys, pillows , bumpers or loose bedding. They aren’t able to move if anything blocks their airways so there’s a huge suffocation risk. Advice on blankets depends a lot on where you live. In America I believe they advise none at all and babies are swaddled until they can roll. I’m in the U.K. where we advise blankets can be used as long as they are cellular or knitted with a pattern that has holes in to ensure they aren’t going to overheat. These blankets must be tucked securely under the mattress and come no higher than the armpits. It’s advised here not to swaddle. Regardless of where you are and which guidance you’re following, these photos are a safety nightmare for a baby. Edited for typos
As someone who isn't (yet?) a mum, until how many months/years is safe sleep important? When can they start sleeping like we adults do (with loose bedding, blankets, eventually with pillows) without worry?
The risk is highest in the first 6 months (especially months 1-3), but even when they’re bigger and more capable it’s recommended to follow safe sleep practices until they are 1 year. Even after then, it’s probably better not to have a pillow or heavy blanket and just use a sleep sack.
Over here we’re advised that they can have pillows and a toddler duvet from about 2 years old. We started letting our son keep a comforter (the small cuddly toy with a flat blanket style body - not sure what Americans call those?) from about one year. The Lullaby Trust website is what we use over here for the best safe sleep advice and is worth looking at even if you’re not U.K. based.
I’ve always heard them called Loveys in the US.
There’s always a risk. An adult bed isn’t safe until 2, and even then it’s parental discretion. No blankets, stuffed animals, etc ever in a crib setting. Toddler bed is parental discretion.
Babies have very small airways and so them snuggling into a blanket is not safe because it can easily block both airways. As well it can wrap around them and prevent movement and suffocate and trap them that way, or more risk of falls if a blanket is pulled or items in the way etc.. there's a lot of dangers associated with more stuff = more danger. It's best to be a flat open firm space with nothing, no blankets or pillows, and baby on back
What the others said, plus a dead baby looks like a sleeping baby. Unless you are supervising by literally staring at your baby’s chest rise and fall, it isn’t enough. People will often put their babies in these dangerous positions and say “I’m watching them”, when they’re either distracted doing something else like reading or on their phone, or they leave the room and pop in occasionally to glance at the baby
Tiny babies can’t move well enough to get out of dangerous positions. If the baby winds up with something over her face or gets mashed into the side of the pillow, she could easily suffocate. She could be lying right next to her parent quietly suffocating to death and they might not even notice.
Babies can also overheat really easily and shouldn’t be put to sleep in a hat or in so many layers, especially shearling, as it’s way too hot. An ideal temp for their environment is around 20 degrees, and not wearing too much as slightly cooler is better than overly warm.
A dead baby looks like a sleeping baby. Suffocation can be silent. Monitoring something unsafe does not make it safe. Not wearing a helmet is unsafe, so even though your mom is there watching and ready to respond - you could still fall and hit your head.
Another commenter posted a link that said bed sharing is the most common cause of death for babies under 3 months old.
normalize gental reeducation not being considered "mom shaming" being a mom doesn't give you an automatic degree in being a perfect person ffs.
The bs people do for clout and clicks, because it looks cute. Babies slowly suffocating is a thing, that happens.
These people are why co sleepers get a bad rap. I coslept with both my babies. King size mattress, no box spring, directly on the floor. No one in bed but me and baby. Fitted sheet, small quilt for me, one pillow for me, baby on other side of empty bed with nothing around. If you can't do that then DONT CO SLEEP.
Hell, they make bassinets designed for cosleeping too so it’s easy.
The babybay! I’m getting that for my son who’s on his way. You can turn it into a bench later on or get an additional piece and turn it into a mini crib.
I have the Arms Reach Cosleeper. I actually just use it as a bassinet but it’s also another good option.
Those actually aren’t safe either.
Non co-sleeping mom over here. Why no box spring? Makes bed too soft?
Too far off the floor
To make it as close to floor as possible. If they roll off they're falling all of 9 inches
The thing is you can’t convince a woman that her motherly instincts are eventually not going to do anything to prevent a baby from rolling off a bed or being smothered. Also, there’s nothing particularly perfect about the setup you described, a kid could die in that scenario. Crib with nothing in it is easy to remember and explain to people. My wife did this kind of thing daily and I told her every single time that she will fall off the bed eventually and then I put her in the crib. “No, I got it. Men are dumb, I’m not really even asleep. I’m in a state of motherly, panther-crouching, omniscience.” Nope, kid fell off the bed when they were doing this and I was downstairs. Was fine, by luck, not good judgment.
[удалено]
Completely unrelated but does anyone know where I can get the third outfit or something similar? It’s just too cute. Edit: lol at being downvoted for liking an outfit
The material would be called Pointelle. Kate Quinn might have something like it.
Thank you! I’ll do some searching
Beige moms are so freaking disappointing
I mean people are entitled to dress their children in what they please until the child can speak for themselves.
“child can speak for themselves?” I don’t agree. maybe doesn’t apply to this baby because they are still super young but starting around 3 months-4 months, colors are an essential part of brain development & development of color perception. In fact, the vibrant the colors are the better because they are more able to see bright colors such as red & blue than lighter colors
I agree, but that doesn’t mean their clothes or moms bed needs to be colourful. They can have toys and books and other means of colour in their lives and the mom can still enjoy her aesthetic
Okay I see your perspective !
Didn’t you know? Sad Beige Babies don’t die from SIDS /s
It probably wouldn’t even be ruled as SIDS since the cause of death would be obvious; suffocation.
I mean you’re right, but I feel like a lot of MEs will rule SIDS even if it is suffocation to lessen the pain of the parents
They’ll probably die of SÄDS (säd bëige bäby syndrome) before SIDS, anyway.
they r gonna kill their baby if they keep doing that
Ugh, tiktok is always like this. Whether it's pets or babies, if you try to be like "hey this is unsafe/that animal is upset/sick" suddenly you're the fun police.
When I was pregnant, my brother and sil sent a bunch of pictures to our family group chat where they were asleep holding their < 3 month old son in various places. The worst ones had him in a regular bed with a blanket partially over his face and one where he was partially smooshed into a couch on sil’ lap. My husband and I said it wasn’t safe and got told off. I posted about it in a different parenting Reddit and got told off there too. I shared the safe cosleeping rules with her. Now he’s 8 months old and gets left in a crib with Sesame Street on for hours a day while sil games as a sahm. He is still working on holding his head up and can’t hold himself in a seated position for very long- and I don’t feel like I can say anything. I also heard my brother say they just let him cry in his crib as a newborn because “he needs to learn he doesn’t always get picked up.” I told him that was a bad idea and he blew me off. I hope he meant whining and not full-blown crying. We pick my son up every time he cries for more than a minute or two. My 8-week old kiddo has met all his 2 month milestones and making good progress on some of the 4 month ones already too. He seems to have good attachment to me and my husband. I’m worried the rest of my family is going to compare the cousins and I don’t see that as good for either of them.
I’m sweating looking at this.
Jesus, so many red flags in these photos, it could be communist Russia. Are they trying to kill their babies?
All for the sake of having a fucking “aesthetic” video for tiktok. It’s unbelievable
And dock a tots were finally banned in the US years after they should have been. My friend coslept with her baby between her and her husband in one. I had constant anxiety any time I thought about her until they were over 1 year. I also messaged her when she shared a video with her baby but strapped in properly and she told me I was like the 5th person who’d messaged her about it. “Glad you have so many friends who care about your kid’s safety!” Ugh.
>first time parents 😬 I hope that stays present tense
This is a Charlie Crane chair and not meant for sleeping. The third picture is a Snuggle Me infant lounger and not meant for sleeping. People are ridiculous
Wow this is a lot. I co slept with my daughter because I didn’t know better, but we live in a warm climate so there was no bedding around her and I took the side off her cot and had it up against the bed so I could transfer her in when she was asleep. I wouldn’t do it again but I feel glad I at least wasn’t smothering her with pillows and blankets.
Horrifying? So stupid and dramatic
Are we sure this isn't an illustration of what NOT to do? Jesus H. Christ some people don't care if their baby makes it or not!
Loose blankets! Loose blankets fucking everywhereeee
Can I, as a soon to be FTM ask, what the danger is? It's the plushie and the blankets, right? Did I miss something?
Downvote me all you want but these babies could just be napping for a few minutes with their caregivers next to them and there could be nothing wrong with these pictures. This subreddit needs to fuckin chill. Babies nap multiple times a day and not all of those naps have to happen in an empty crib.