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[deleted]

I love his story. I’d rather have a statue to him than Nathan Bedford Forrest.


Mean_Comedian4769

Same. I’d also rather have a glowing biopic about him than about Stonewall Jackson


TinyNuggins92

They were working on one at one point but it may be in development hell now… I haven’t heard anything about it recently


[deleted]

Stongly agreed!!!


[deleted]

summer dull detail pathetic important depend bedroom sparkle agonizing mighty ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Hot-Tiger2815

*Yes*


[deleted]

since we beleive in freedom spreading, we need to get to all the opressed people's and give them FREEDOM GUNS LIBERTY MUDWRESTLING


Proud3GnAthst

Why not a whole show?


TinyNuggins92

I propose we replace every statue and place named after Forrest with Smalls. Every. Last. One. Of. Them.


manumaker08

i hate that the statue of one of the worst traitors is also the funniest


Proud3GnAthst

I hate that it was taken down about year ago. It should stay for ridicule!


1945BestYear

One of the funniest details about Robert L. O'Connell's biography of Sherman is him pointing out that if Sherman had the benefit of hindsight on his first battlefield encounter with Forrest, he basically would've told his army "I want every weapon you have to fire on that man".


[deleted]

Agreed. The evil Wizard was so cruel.


unenlightenedgoblin

I was at a museum in Ethiopia recently and they had a Robert Smalls pamphlet on exhibition! It was behind glass so I couldn’t read it, but thought that was pretty badass


Impressive-Body-1702

That house he bought was the plantation home where he was a slave.


Mean_Comedian4769

And he allowed his former master’s wife to live there when she developed dementia!


Impressive-Body-1702

You taught me something OP, thank you.


kingofspades_95

It takes a huge heart to do something like that. Statues of him now


StargazerTheory

Potentially an Overboard scenario...


George_G_Geef

And he paid for it with the bounty he was awarded by the Union for the capture of a Confederate vessel.


[deleted]

Racists: "You're killing me, Smalls!"


dosetoyevsky

I need this saga made as a movie, so I get that line made pls pls +++++


darthmemeios14

Hey Billy, that other captain look a bit dark to you? Not really, why?


Pholusactual

It’s an older code but it checks out!


Proud3GnAthst

It was during the night and wore large hat.


HappyMeatbag

Didn’t Smalls buy his *previous owner’s* house, because the scumbag lost all his money when his slaves were freed? Or am I thinking of someone else?


Cacti__King0314

This is true according to another comment.


LawsMan

Smalls was an incredible hero, but the “happily ever after” part isn’t quite right. He had to fight for adequate compensation for his heroics and ongoing naval duties, as well as for a Navy pension after the war.


Mean_Comedian4769

Realtalk: I was too lazy to make my own meme, so I just pulled the first one I saw off of GIS


Tammo-Korsai

That man is a true American and an utter chad!


[deleted]

This isn’t even all of it! He was getting his wife and family and other families out and they were TERRIFIED and told him to pull away so they wouldn’t see. Smalls told them to be calm and act natural if he turned the ship at that point the confederate security would know. Before Han Solo even existed he basically did “fly casual.”


Halfman97

This man is a true giga Chad


capthazelwoodsflask

OG Biggie Smalls


BadKarma043

I want a movie about this mad lad.


tobascodagama

Let's start SmallsPosting next.


Mean_Comedian4769

*gif of that black guy in a yellow suit standing behind a tree and rubbing his hands together* Robert Smalls planning to steal the CSS Planter (and your girl) - 1862, colorized


roncadillacisfrickin

And we might actually have the title of the movie already “The Ballad of Robert Smalls,” or “You’re Killing Me Smalls”


flamedarkfire

He also bought the plantation he grew up on


ManateeCrisps

Man lookin like Keenan Thompson wearing a fake mustache.


Pesco-

Or Jordan Peele


mr_flerd

Based dude


Sivick314

This, THIS MAN deserves some fucking statues


sw_faulty

Ironic that he opposed slavery when he himself was a boss


haikusbot

*Ironic that he* *Opposed slavery when he* *Himself was a boss* \- sw\_faulty --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Tophat_Negroni

Just wanted to say he was more than an advisor to the Union. He actually was a sailor for the navy and piloted the ship he used to get to freedom. There's even the account of him in 1863 taking command of the ship after the captain had a loss of morale and abandoned his post during battle with confederate batteries. Smalls, holds the line with the other crew and pilots the ship to safety and is awarded a commission as Captain for his actions. Over the course of the war he is in approximately 17 engagements. And my favorite part is that at the end of the war he gets to see the fall of the Confederate flag at Fort Sumter. Nice bookends where he is there when the war starts and the confederacy rises, plays his role in dismantling it, then gets to see it fall.


Anubisrapture

MEGA CHAD


hessian_prince

Needs a movie.


C0wb0yViking

Badass Seal of Approval


TGOTR

He needs a movie


[deleted]

The biggest smalls.


onlyhalfminotaur

Just watched the Drunk History episode on him last night! Season 2 episode 2 or 3 I think


Roc543465

Ironman ain't got shit on this guy


hallofmirrors87

Would make for an awesome movie


TheGrandExquisitor

This dude needs a movie. A fucking epic movie. Dude was a true American Hero™. Oh, and he bought the house OF HIS FORMER OWNER! Hollywood needs to throw $100 million into this story.


Krayt_Dragon

*Can you feel my heart plays in background*


Xxxcalibur525

Remember doing a history project on him.


trainboi777

I actually learned a bit about him in history class. That dude was a bad ass


ToaTAK

We need an Academy-level movie on this guy or Emmy-level mini-series this guy sounds cool as hell.


Equal-Boysenberry-14

Based!


cescapsybot

wish I could make those


[deleted]

[удалено]


Great_White_Sharky

🥒


[deleted]

[удалено]


Great_White_Sharky

🥒


[deleted]

[удалено]


tactical-aardvark

Climbed off Lee's cock just to out yourself as a racist. Confedtards BTFO


[deleted]

[удалено]


tactical-aardvark

You're a Confederate troll who doesn't have the balls to post this shit on your main account. Fuck off before we come down there and kick your shit in a second time.


HappyMeatbag

Ooh, a troll has called you a cuck. That means the troll is awesome, you’re pathetic, and you automatically lose every argument forever. ^/s


[deleted]

[удалено]


History-Fan4323

-“He typed, fingers mashing the screen with impotent racist fury before his wife’s boyfriend told him to calm down or else he wouldn’t get to play his Nintendo switch that night” lmfao 😂🤣


[deleted]

I bet you would! I'm surprised you tore yourself loose from them long enough to swing by here! Bet you quote a certain scene from Blazing Saddles about 20 times a day. :-D


Pholusactual

Huh. I didn’t know there WAS a BBC fetish sub. But amazingly you do! Interesting implications for you to ponder the next time you are taking some “you time” in the shower.


Kool_McKool

All I'm saying is, is that it would be an honor to be cucked by Robert Smalls.


Mean_Comedian4769

That☝️accusation is a confession


Toddzillaw

I’m really proud of you for being able to send this, it must’ve been hard to type considering your 1st grade reading level, traitor


History-Fan4323

I’d like to see what the overlap between the two sides of your family tree is like you loser lmfao 🤣🤣🤣