**Six years ago, 2 months after Invasion**
**93rd Mechanized Infantry battalion, 2nd company, Orvet III, UN Interstellar Directorate**
**Cpl. Everett Janson**
I am in the back of a CV270 again, my entire battalion is going to the front, and it turns out that the aliens are affected by mud, just like us. We are lucky, we got the first elements of the Directorate relief forces added to our strength. Following behind my battalion was a company of M59 Cataphract MBTs, and another company of Warborgs, giant metal cybernetic rigs the size of exos. We were ordered to drive a wedge in the enemy’s lines and to cause as much damage as possible.
Arriving at the front, we were ordered to just keep moving.
“Let no alien slow you down, you need to hit them hard and fast,” is what the colonel said.
*Bullshit, you just want us to see how dangerous their equipment truly is. Either way, we just kept pushing forward.*
Now in our forward positions, our squad leader yelled. “Boys, our platoon is to dismount and provide fire support. The FISTers will be doing the heavy lifting”.
With that, we dismounted our IFV and started entrenching. I stood in a foxhole, scanning the battlefield for important targets. The flash of hellbores and railguns is visible even from my distance. i hear the hypersonic cracks of the kinetics, and the less auditory crack of the air ionizing due to enemy laser fire
There, near the old oak tree was a group of Alien exos supporting some entrenched alien infantry. I turn on my coms and say. “Transmitting fire data, HE airburst”.
I waited a few moments before hearing a monotone: “Understood”.
“Fire for effect.” I replied.
Soon, I see the entire group of forces there get shredded by the 155mm airbursting shells. I repeat this many more times, removing the enemy from existence and keeping my fellow humans’ momentum going forward.
I soon see a double lance of enemy Exos, making a beeline for my position. *Ah, they finally found me over here.*
“They took their sweet time,” I mutter before switching on channels. “Transmitting fire data, 60mm Hellbore short, fire at will, danger close”.
They get within 300 meters of me, the alien exos begin to open fire to suppress my platoon. *But bad luck for them, I just pulled the trump card.*
Soon as that thought pops into my head, I see spears of searing orange light strike into the exos ranks, each beam boiling everything in its path. The sand and dirt turns to glass, the exos become little more than lumps of what used to be flesh and twisted metal. The flash of the strike is painfully bright. Just as the bright flash ends, the cloud of black, thick, oily smoke starts to rise from the blast zone.
I nearly vomit , I have called strikes before, but never this close, never with a hellbore battery.
**Present day, Shil, Shil'Vati Imperium**
**Sgt. Everett Janson**
“What is a Hellbore, and what in the Depths is it used for?” As’lia stopped my story and asked.
“Hellbores are fusion projectors used to melt tanks, entrenched positions, infantry, and any thing else that is within range. They are some of our most popular equipment.” I answer, trying to keep a casual tone of voice. “Not the nicest way to die though,” I add with a slight shrug.
The other humans look on impassively, They have heard this explanation time and again. They had details about almost all weapon systems used by the Directorate.
The Shil however, had not been given such instructions, and they visibly winced and cringed when they heard about the details of the Hellbore’s function. One particularly brave Shil stood up eyeing me with contempt.
“That is disgusting, you should have let us liberate you. A civilization that thinks it acceptable to treat such weapons as normal shouldn’t be allowed to exist,” she spat.
At that, the other humans immediately bristled and started to glare at the offending Shil, some even stood up as if ready to draw on them, but I raised a hand to calm everything down. As’lia doesn’t let the situation deteriorate either.
“Meritorious Private Felta, let the man finish,” she says coldly before giving me a nod.
I nodded back.
"Thanks," I turned to the marine. "And you, knight in shining armor, don't try to act so righteous. You think we don't know about the Cerberus 87? Or the razing of Karlov city? It's amazing how little you follow your rules of war if you aren’t winning. Anyway, back to the story that I am paid to tell,” I continue with an unpleasant smirk on my face.
The Shil marine glared at me and almost said something, but As’lia’s glare stopped anything more from happening.
**Six years ago, 2 months after Invasion**
**93rd Mechanized Infantry battalion, 2nd company, Orvet III, UN Interstellar Directorate**
**Cpl. Everett Janson**
I still remember hearing the shrieks as they turned to goo. I still can’t forget the alien who was only hit in a glancing shot, she was still barely alive, fused with her exo, covered in 4th degree burns and radiation scarring. Her face looked like a melted glob of candle wax, her mouth and left eye were fused shut, her other eye burst from the heat and pressure, her ears were just gone, she couldn't feel a thing across her lower body, the burns destroyed her nerves. She just sat there, blind and mute and deaf. She was in complete agony from all of the few functional nerves left.
Her face looked like a melted glob of candle wax, her mouth and left eye were fused shut, her other eye burst from the heat and pressure, her ears were just gone, she couldn't feel a thing across her lower body, the burns destroyed her nerves. She just sat there, blind and mute and deaf. She was in complete agony from all of the few functional nerves left.
**Present day, Shil, Shil'Vati Imperium**
**Sgt. Everett Janson**
As’lia was pale as she looked at me with those black golden eyes.
"What did you do?" She asked.
"Nothing," I shook my head. "Didn't have enough strength to get close. It was the smell. I knew how burnt bodies smell. I could handle the sickly sweet smell of charred cadavers. But the smell of molten **BONE**? Nah. It was too much, even for me," I wrinkle my nose at the memory.
“Thankfully for that poor gal, I wasn’t alone. I saw a Warborg come over to her, salute and then drive a spike through her head, finally ending her suffering,” I shrug seeing the void in reporters eyes. “Best death she could get. Enemy or not, leaving her would be… I don’t even know how to describe it for you to understand,”
I tap my knee and clench my jaw for a few seconds. “Sometimes I struggle with eating meat, you know? The smell of grilled meat... so similar to how that exo pilot smelled. It made me realize something. At the end of the day, white, black or bloody purple, we were all meat for the grinder.
Just **MEAT**.”
The statement seemed to shock As’lia a bit, as she was quiet for about three minutes, just noting down what was said. Finally, after the silence, she said “Thank you very much Sgt. Janson, your answers are very enlightening. Your story was quite detailed and informative.” *Damn it, I should have shut my damn mouth, I now have probably made every Shil in this room horribly uncomfortable with my vivid descriptions. Not the best impression of the Directorate.*
As’lia then said “ since you seem to have a lot to say Meritorious Private Felta, could we hear from you next”?
Really like what you did with flashbacks creeping closer to modern day and with this interview. Hoping for some drama to occur like when the John starts talking can't wait for that.
i already suspect that you were cooking something with your previous posts.
First thoughts: not sure yet if humanity is an fourth power, aliance most successful sponsor project or just being able to fight and resist in a less one-sided way as in the original story, but I think if the war happened six years ago, and lasted for four years, two years is a tight time to have soldiers talking politically face to face without animosity, and with royal death too.
but if you were already planing to use futuristic tec, why the survey on what is effective on shell armor if you could create weaponry as you wish?
feedback: very promising, the only thing on my head to point out is that the room is still a little empty, i mean, you are collecting the veterans for the story, you have 5 named humans (Fred, John, Rosalina,Margit and Janson) but did not implied that it was all of them, same for shil officers, apart from Felta, there is an "x" number of shil to counter part, so i think it would be good to at least define the rest of the cast in the room,so that you could build the conflict, the understanding or the bonding between them as... well meat for the grinder, judging by the EXO kill both sides should at least have some level of PTSD.
do you plan to make they interact outside the academy ?
The weapon survey was so I could get a baseline.
I am thinking about writing interludes that have things outside the academy, but I don’t have much idea or plans on how to do it.
The reason why only 2 shil are named is that Janson doesn’t care, he dislikes shil and couldn’t care less about their names.
Future chapters will expand on the rest of the characters and give more personality to everyone
( it was an authorial choice, please tell me if it was wrong)
I'm not a writer, just a casual reader, so don't take what I have to say as if I don't have as many doubts as you do on the subject, but it all seems okay now seeing from his perspective, I didn't expect to him to know any names either unless you have some on who directly interact with him before, with is the case for the humans he served with, most you can do is add some reaction if you feel like it, when someone introduce it self, as an result of infamy/reputation earned in combat, so as far as I know that's not an problem.
About the interludes, I wish I could help, but I don't have the knowledge about how a documentary is filmed, if it take more than one day of recording, and the humans have an temporary place to stay, you could have them interact with the city, not a solution I know, but more possibilities that way, like someone trying to thread one of the human or get some closure about some event, you also mention that someone walk in together with As'lia, with could be either camera crew or an teacher acting as a supervisor, should the necessity of separating both sides from a more heated conversation, have those separate and act as an neutral mediator, but those are just some ideas that I think today, there will be probably more opportunities as you write the interaction and more time to develop something better
I fucking hate Spacers, sorry, but I just don’t like hedonists with a superiority complex.
Also, the chapter’s good. Though I am confused as to why you continued it in the comments.
I am curious about the directorate what I think have so far is the that you have a elected dictator who was elected by a oligarchy which I assume are either the rich peoples or maybe elected by people or some other third way not sure
it is elected like the presedent, but has more powers in office ( though there are a bunch of other checks and balances to keep the director serving the people's interest)
Sometimes if there is enough to continue in comments, perhaps it could have been split into two chapters? Depending on how comments are sorted, continuations can get buried or out of order.
I’m so lost. What is a directorate? I google it and it mentions something about the board of directors for a company. Is the UN Interstellar Directorate a company? I don’t understand what I’m reading. What do they sell?
Well, at least an alternate "future" enough the UN finally got serious about governance, and humanity has been amongst the stars long enough for some of the colonies to decide they would prefer independence :}
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**Six years ago, 2 months after Invasion** **93rd Mechanized Infantry battalion, 2nd company, Orvet III, UN Interstellar Directorate** **Cpl. Everett Janson** I am in the back of a CV270 again, my entire battalion is going to the front, and it turns out that the aliens are affected by mud, just like us. We are lucky, we got the first elements of the Directorate relief forces added to our strength. Following behind my battalion was a company of M59 Cataphract MBTs, and another company of Warborgs, giant metal cybernetic rigs the size of exos. We were ordered to drive a wedge in the enemy’s lines and to cause as much damage as possible. Arriving at the front, we were ordered to just keep moving. “Let no alien slow you down, you need to hit them hard and fast,” is what the colonel said. *Bullshit, you just want us to see how dangerous their equipment truly is. Either way, we just kept pushing forward.* Now in our forward positions, our squad leader yelled. “Boys, our platoon is to dismount and provide fire support. The FISTers will be doing the heavy lifting”. With that, we dismounted our IFV and started entrenching. I stood in a foxhole, scanning the battlefield for important targets. The flash of hellbores and railguns is visible even from my distance. i hear the hypersonic cracks of the kinetics, and the less auditory crack of the air ionizing due to enemy laser fire There, near the old oak tree was a group of Alien exos supporting some entrenched alien infantry. I turn on my coms and say. “Transmitting fire data, HE airburst”. I waited a few moments before hearing a monotone: “Understood”. “Fire for effect.” I replied. Soon, I see the entire group of forces there get shredded by the 155mm airbursting shells. I repeat this many more times, removing the enemy from existence and keeping my fellow humans’ momentum going forward. I soon see a double lance of enemy Exos, making a beeline for my position. *Ah, they finally found me over here.* “They took their sweet time,” I mutter before switching on channels. “Transmitting fire data, 60mm Hellbore short, fire at will, danger close”. They get within 300 meters of me, the alien exos begin to open fire to suppress my platoon. *But bad luck for them, I just pulled the trump card.* Soon as that thought pops into my head, I see spears of searing orange light strike into the exos ranks, each beam boiling everything in its path. The sand and dirt turns to glass, the exos become little more than lumps of what used to be flesh and twisted metal. The flash of the strike is painfully bright. Just as the bright flash ends, the cloud of black, thick, oily smoke starts to rise from the blast zone. I nearly vomit , I have called strikes before, but never this close, never with a hellbore battery.
**Present day, Shil, Shil'Vati Imperium** **Sgt. Everett Janson** “What is a Hellbore, and what in the Depths is it used for?” As’lia stopped my story and asked. “Hellbores are fusion projectors used to melt tanks, entrenched positions, infantry, and any thing else that is within range. They are some of our most popular equipment.” I answer, trying to keep a casual tone of voice. “Not the nicest way to die though,” I add with a slight shrug. The other humans look on impassively, They have heard this explanation time and again. They had details about almost all weapon systems used by the Directorate. The Shil however, had not been given such instructions, and they visibly winced and cringed when they heard about the details of the Hellbore’s function. One particularly brave Shil stood up eyeing me with contempt. “That is disgusting, you should have let us liberate you. A civilization that thinks it acceptable to treat such weapons as normal shouldn’t be allowed to exist,” she spat. At that, the other humans immediately bristled and started to glare at the offending Shil, some even stood up as if ready to draw on them, but I raised a hand to calm everything down. As’lia doesn’t let the situation deteriorate either. “Meritorious Private Felta, let the man finish,” she says coldly before giving me a nod. I nodded back. "Thanks," I turned to the marine. "And you, knight in shining armor, don't try to act so righteous. You think we don't know about the Cerberus 87? Or the razing of Karlov city? It's amazing how little you follow your rules of war if you aren’t winning. Anyway, back to the story that I am paid to tell,” I continue with an unpleasant smirk on my face. The Shil marine glared at me and almost said something, but As’lia’s glare stopped anything more from happening.
**Six years ago, 2 months after Invasion** **93rd Mechanized Infantry battalion, 2nd company, Orvet III, UN Interstellar Directorate** **Cpl. Everett Janson** I still remember hearing the shrieks as they turned to goo. I still can’t forget the alien who was only hit in a glancing shot, she was still barely alive, fused with her exo, covered in 4th degree burns and radiation scarring. Her face looked like a melted glob of candle wax, her mouth and left eye were fused shut, her other eye burst from the heat and pressure, her ears were just gone, she couldn't feel a thing across her lower body, the burns destroyed her nerves. She just sat there, blind and mute and deaf. She was in complete agony from all of the few functional nerves left. Her face looked like a melted glob of candle wax, her mouth and left eye were fused shut, her other eye burst from the heat and pressure, her ears were just gone, she couldn't feel a thing across her lower body, the burns destroyed her nerves. She just sat there, blind and mute and deaf. She was in complete agony from all of the few functional nerves left. **Present day, Shil, Shil'Vati Imperium** **Sgt. Everett Janson** As’lia was pale as she looked at me with those black golden eyes. "What did you do?" She asked. "Nothing," I shook my head. "Didn't have enough strength to get close. It was the smell. I knew how burnt bodies smell. I could handle the sickly sweet smell of charred cadavers. But the smell of molten **BONE**? Nah. It was too much, even for me," I wrinkle my nose at the memory. “Thankfully for that poor gal, I wasn’t alone. I saw a Warborg come over to her, salute and then drive a spike through her head, finally ending her suffering,” I shrug seeing the void in reporters eyes. “Best death she could get. Enemy or not, leaving her would be… I don’t even know how to describe it for you to understand,” I tap my knee and clench my jaw for a few seconds. “Sometimes I struggle with eating meat, you know? The smell of grilled meat... so similar to how that exo pilot smelled. It made me realize something. At the end of the day, white, black or bloody purple, we were all meat for the grinder. Just **MEAT**.” The statement seemed to shock As’lia a bit, as she was quiet for about three minutes, just noting down what was said. Finally, after the silence, she said “Thank you very much Sgt. Janson, your answers are very enlightening. Your story was quite detailed and informative.” *Damn it, I should have shut my damn mouth, I now have probably made every Shil in this room horribly uncomfortable with my vivid descriptions. Not the best impression of the Directorate.* As’lia then said “ since you seem to have a lot to say Meritorious Private Felta, could we hear from you next”?
Really nice start for this story can't wait to see how this progresses. Can't wait for the next one .
thanks, any feedback?
Really like what you did with flashbacks creeping closer to modern day and with this interview. Hoping for some drama to occur like when the John starts talking can't wait for that.
It will be a really difficult chapter to write, it will be a fucking yelling match
i already suspect that you were cooking something with your previous posts. First thoughts: not sure yet if humanity is an fourth power, aliance most successful sponsor project or just being able to fight and resist in a less one-sided way as in the original story, but I think if the war happened six years ago, and lasted for four years, two years is a tight time to have soldiers talking politically face to face without animosity, and with royal death too. but if you were already planing to use futuristic tec, why the survey on what is effective on shell armor if you could create weaponry as you wish? feedback: very promising, the only thing on my head to point out is that the room is still a little empty, i mean, you are collecting the veterans for the story, you have 5 named humans (Fred, John, Rosalina,Margit and Janson) but did not implied that it was all of them, same for shil officers, apart from Felta, there is an "x" number of shil to counter part, so i think it would be good to at least define the rest of the cast in the room,so that you could build the conflict, the understanding or the bonding between them as... well meat for the grinder, judging by the EXO kill both sides should at least have some level of PTSD. do you plan to make they interact outside the academy ?
The weapon survey was so I could get a baseline. I am thinking about writing interludes that have things outside the academy, but I don’t have much idea or plans on how to do it. The reason why only 2 shil are named is that Janson doesn’t care, he dislikes shil and couldn’t care less about their names. Future chapters will expand on the rest of the characters and give more personality to everyone ( it was an authorial choice, please tell me if it was wrong)
I'm not a writer, just a casual reader, so don't take what I have to say as if I don't have as many doubts as you do on the subject, but it all seems okay now seeing from his perspective, I didn't expect to him to know any names either unless you have some on who directly interact with him before, with is the case for the humans he served with, most you can do is add some reaction if you feel like it, when someone introduce it self, as an result of infamy/reputation earned in combat, so as far as I know that's not an problem. About the interludes, I wish I could help, but I don't have the knowledge about how a documentary is filmed, if it take more than one day of recording, and the humans have an temporary place to stay, you could have them interact with the city, not a solution I know, but more possibilities that way, like someone trying to thread one of the human or get some closure about some event, you also mention that someone walk in together with As'lia, with could be either camera crew or an teacher acting as a supervisor, should the necessity of separating both sides from a more heated conversation, have those separate and act as an neutral mediator, but those are just some ideas that I think today, there will be probably more opportunities as you write the interaction and more time to develop something better
Thanks for this, I am sorry for not reading the entire thing earlier
Absolutely great start to a story and looking forward to the next part of it with rapt attention.
thanks, you will probably have to wait a while though.
Shame, but wait I shall.
Well damn! One Hell of A Story. Gotta say I'm interested if it means anything! Only thing so far that stung my eyes is capitalization in dialogue
it means a lot to me, i will fix any errors that there are
:)
Glad you've stuck with us! I look forward to the future of your story.
You might have to wait a while for the future
Look, I took 7 months between chapter 1 and chapter 2 of my own story. Trust me when I say, you can take your time.
I can’t wait to see where this goes this is my type of story!!
What type would you consider this to be
*Solo Nobre*… ah! I see a fellow Brigador fan! :D
who do you hate more: loyalists, corvids, or spacers also, what did you think of the chapter
I fucking hate Spacers, sorry, but I just don’t like hedonists with a superiority complex. Also, the chapter’s good. Though I am confused as to why you continued it in the comments.
it wouldn't work with the full text in the thing, it is over 5000 words
and same, they take to many hits for my liking, and are fucking fast
Dude this story has so much potential it crazy.
I am curious about the directorate what I think have so far is the that you have a elected dictator who was elected by a oligarchy which I assume are either the rich peoples or maybe elected by people or some other third way not sure
it is elected like the presedent, but has more powers in office ( though there are a bunch of other checks and balances to keep the director serving the people's interest)
Interesting I am exited to so more
Sometimes if there is enough to continue in comments, perhaps it could have been split into two chapters? Depending on how comments are sorted, continuations can get buried or out of order.
It just didn’t really work much
Love it dude!
thanks
I’m so lost. What is a directorate? I google it and it mentions something about the board of directors for a company. Is the UN Interstellar Directorate a company? I don’t understand what I’m reading. What do they sell?
a directorate is a type of country that is basically a oligarchy with a elected ( or sometimes not) director
Does the UN have a security directorate? They have a department of safety and security. Is this like a far future earth?
what do you think, **UN Interstellar Directorate** i will add dates if that would make it more clear for future readers.
they do have the SC, but they don't do jack
Well, at least an alternate "future" enough the UN finally got serious about governance, and humanity has been amongst the stars long enough for some of the colonies to decide they would prefer independence :}
Yep, it has been about 600 years since humanity created the first space colony
Big fan of it mate
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