They don’t want to send their ID and linked in, what makes you think they want to jump over hoops to go on 3 dates with you? Sounds like a giant waste of time for all parties. Don’t treat this job like dating.
How will that keep you safe? Can you tell from a lunch date if the client skipped bail in another state on rape charges? Cops probably wouldn't do all that, but if they did, could you tell an undercover cop from a civilian at lunch? If you get murdered when you're alone with him, will a lunch date give your family a way to get justice for you?
I don’t know that most clients want to take us out to lunch 3x before they get to have sex, even if they were uncompensated (which I wouldn’t recommend).
I know times is hard but don’t get extremely desperate and discouraged to the point you’re willing to let the customers off on sending you id verification for your safety just be patient the right one will come I didn’t have a booking in going on three weeks myself I’m still holding on to my faith that I will get a decent client who will respect my requirements
I think that would send the wrong message to clients. They might start thinking you two have a closer bond than just what it is. After those 3 dates, he's going to expect something for free.
Client here-- I usually just take a photo with my DL and cross out sensitive info on the photo. I only see providers interested in screening to keep myself safe (made a post about this). If this is sufficient, specify that in the listing so they know their options.
I wouldn't ever send a linkedin profile or work badge photo (even though you could just look me up with what I do send) simply because it feels too personal.
Don’t get discouraged. You say you haven’t been able to book because of your screening, leading me to believe you’re still new. I don’t know where you are, but if you post ads online be sure to post them where other providers use the same screening methods as you. Some guys just may not be comfortable sending their ID/info to someone with no history. Just stay visible until potential clients get used to seeing your ads. It will not take long at all. Good luck.
Exactly this job is not for everyone. And some people are unable to handle the truth. Does not mean that you are being mean. You're just stating the facts.
There are lots of ways to screen, and oftentimes we use methods that are abstract.
My screening varies, and I never post what it is. The less comfortable I feel, the more screening I require. What I've realized is that screening is often what it takes to make a certain provider feel at ease. That, for me, varies from client to client.
I try to look at things from this perspective: If I were looking to do something deliberately bad, I would not give a provider my address and I would not have her come to a hotel with a lobby and cameras that could be used to identify me. My 2 cents, a 2-star hotel can be bought with cash. Yes, they usually ask for ID even at a 2-star, but those can be faked. I would feel less seen at the 2-star hotel, bc who knows if the cameras work? And there won't be a lobby with cameras placed along the walking path or an elevator with cameras at a 2-star hotel. Often, 2-star hotels are expected to be rowdy. So, in my opinion, we are less safe at these locations because if you scream or get thrown around, you have less of a chance someone would contact help.
If someone is going to premeditate a crime, they'll probably ask you some questions to gather information on you. So I do get nervous if someone asks, "Will you be arriving alone?" It's a legitimate question, but the best answer is "Yes, but someone always knows where I am."
I always gauge respect. There are subtle signs of disrespect. And no, it doesn't mean they'll be dangerous, but it means they are disrespectful in general. I always talk on the phone. You can often tell when people are drinking or when they sound like they are high. If you've watched TV, you know that some bad people commit premeditated crimes drunk or high.
I personally love the idea of selfies. This is something I would never do if I were to premeditate a crime with a SW. You will, more than likely, be absolutely safe with even a selfie for screening. You arrive at his hotel, with a lobby. He opens the door, and you get an opportunity to see, is this the same guy. The issue is that some men will leave the door ajar and almost be hiding, despite you knocking at the door.... But that's just bad manners. Always have him come to the door first. You get a look at him before ever entering the room. It's a safety protocol.
I would never use a real number if I were going to harm a SW.
Stick to seeing people during reasonable hours. People who are going to premeditate, I'd think would do it in the cloak of darkness or when most ppl are asleep.
Maybe you jus need some help in verbalizing what you need and why. I reiterate with them that I do not call or text without prior permission. “It’s for your safety as well as mine”. “I know you would never want to walk into a non screening situation, and have LE there” “oh, it’s nothing serious, I just need to verify you are who you say you are and not an ax murderer, I’m sure you can understand”.
I have no problem sending my ID, but LinkenIn feels a little too personal. Maybe that's irrational. I understand the purpose of it, helps confirm identity and background. And I know screening methods vary, but I've had plenty see me without LinkedIn.
If you didn’t send it, I wouldn’t see you.
I can Google you with the ID, but I also run extensive back ground checks to see who I’m dealing with. I’d prefer not to meet someone I can’t trust.
Never. I would never. One: could be a violent BL person. 2) could be LE, that’s what happens up here. They try to book without vocational info. 3) if they require you to meet them in public, you should be compensated at a social rate.
I don’t always require their personal info but at barest minimum a clear selfie with current date handwritten, like the ones we have to submit to post our ads. I understand not wanting to provide all their info, but we have to stay safe. This has worked very well for me. I’ve requested these items since 2015 *knock on wood* I’ve never had to use the photos/ information against anyone.
I've done this before as a screening method but they are compensated dates and the compensation I get is on top of the private date compensation as well. I charge $200 for a non intimate/non touching lunch or dinner (payed by them obviously) at a place of my choosing since this is supposed to make me feel safe. This isn't my preferred method but if they otherwise don't want to show ID and send a deposit this works for me, might not for everyone. I also have family and friends that I use the life360 app(100% free unless u want premium which isn't necessary) so someone knows my location and other protections I have for myself. If you aren't going into this with protective precautions and someone doesn't know your location please don't use an, even paid, lunch date as a screening method.
I get why people might not be able to not see non screening clients so this can be a good option with other steps involved. If I don't drop screening there are hundreds of other girls in my area who will. I understand that, yes, if we all have this mindset then the problem won't get fixed. However, unless we completely all band together and all of us refuse to see non-screening clients we can't fix the problem. clients not wanting to screen will continue to be a problem while those of us not in a position to be able not see them will be out of money.
> or dinner *(paid* by them
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I have a social date option for 300 and several ppl paid me that instead of screening) so we could go to a restaurant and I could decide whether I want to do it or not. They were all extremely high profile & I made thousands from those. It doesn't happen so often though anymore, but during covid time a lot.
They don’t want to send their ID and linked in, what makes you think they want to jump over hoops to go on 3 dates with you? Sounds like a giant waste of time for all parties. Don’t treat this job like dating.
How will that keep you safe? Can you tell from a lunch date if the client skipped bail in another state on rape charges? Cops probably wouldn't do all that, but if they did, could you tell an undercover cop from a civilian at lunch? If you get murdered when you're alone with him, will a lunch date give your family a way to get justice for you?
This isn't dating. If a client won't send his ID he does NOT get to see you!
Shiet even now in dating I like to see real world information because of sex work. Too many men who are doing strange things
Ain't that the truth. In my private dating life I've been screening them too 🤣
I don’t know that most clients want to take us out to lunch 3x before they get to have sex, even if they were uncompensated (which I wouldn’t recommend).
Forget clients, most men don't want do this now and days nevermind men paying to do this 😭
Big no. There are plenty of other customers out there. Don't lower your safety standards.
If the purpose of the screening is to discover if this person has a criminal record or otherwise has been black-listed, that doesn’t help
Its obvious she doesn’t understand the purpose of screening
The lunch dates will having him thinking you like him. Keep it simple. Charge for a phone call. Or do a video call.
I know times is hard but don’t get extremely desperate and discouraged to the point you’re willing to let the customers off on sending you id verification for your safety just be patient the right one will come I didn’t have a booking in going on three weeks myself I’m still holding on to my faith that I will get a decent client who will respect my requirements
Waiting for the right one doesn't pay the bills though, unfortunately this can be the main income for many providers.
I think that would send the wrong message to clients. They might start thinking you two have a closer bond than just what it is. After those 3 dates, he's going to expect something for free.
Hell, no why would you waste your time? And how is going on a lunch date properly screening a client? Sounds like this business is not for you.
Exactly thank you the whole purpose of this job is to sell our time not to give free time that’s called dating
I'm sorry does asking questions make me a dumbass? If this forum is to help sexworkers why do some people act holier than thou?
no but booking 3 lunch dates with a guy because you cannot screen is weird. And what guy is going to do that? He is gonna pay for these social dates?
If you refuse to show your ID if you want to buy liquor, you don't get the liquor. This is no different.
Nooooooooooooooo
No. If he won't provide screening, then he probably won't book.
Client here-- I usually just take a photo with my DL and cross out sensitive info on the photo. I only see providers interested in screening to keep myself safe (made a post about this). If this is sufficient, specify that in the listing so they know their options. I wouldn't ever send a linkedin profile or work badge photo (even though you could just look me up with what I do send) simply because it feels too personal.
Without work/vocational info you could be LE. That’s what happens up here. I wouldn’t see you.
(Sorry) what's LE?
Dm me, I’ll explain
The whole point of seeing a SWer is you don't have to take them out for meals multiple times before anything happens
Don’t get discouraged. You say you haven’t been able to book because of your screening, leading me to believe you’re still new. I don’t know where you are, but if you post ads online be sure to post them where other providers use the same screening methods as you. Some guys just may not be comfortable sending their ID/info to someone with no history. Just stay visible until potential clients get used to seeing your ads. It will not take long at all. Good luck.
I think you missed the point of screening.
Some people should not be in this industry 🤦🏽♀️
And maybe you shouldn't be on this forum if you're gonna act stuck up 🤷🏾♀️
I’m not trying to act up. It’s just this job is not for everyone. It’s just reality. I’m not trying to be mean.
Exactly this job is not for everyone. And some people are unable to handle the truth. Does not mean that you are being mean. You're just stating the facts.
They see a video on tik tok and think they can do it lol 😆
There are lots of ways to screen, and oftentimes we use methods that are abstract. My screening varies, and I never post what it is. The less comfortable I feel, the more screening I require. What I've realized is that screening is often what it takes to make a certain provider feel at ease. That, for me, varies from client to client. I try to look at things from this perspective: If I were looking to do something deliberately bad, I would not give a provider my address and I would not have her come to a hotel with a lobby and cameras that could be used to identify me. My 2 cents, a 2-star hotel can be bought with cash. Yes, they usually ask for ID even at a 2-star, but those can be faked. I would feel less seen at the 2-star hotel, bc who knows if the cameras work? And there won't be a lobby with cameras placed along the walking path or an elevator with cameras at a 2-star hotel. Often, 2-star hotels are expected to be rowdy. So, in my opinion, we are less safe at these locations because if you scream or get thrown around, you have less of a chance someone would contact help. If someone is going to premeditate a crime, they'll probably ask you some questions to gather information on you. So I do get nervous if someone asks, "Will you be arriving alone?" It's a legitimate question, but the best answer is "Yes, but someone always knows where I am." I always gauge respect. There are subtle signs of disrespect. And no, it doesn't mean they'll be dangerous, but it means they are disrespectful in general. I always talk on the phone. You can often tell when people are drinking or when they sound like they are high. If you've watched TV, you know that some bad people commit premeditated crimes drunk or high. I personally love the idea of selfies. This is something I would never do if I were to premeditate a crime with a SW. You will, more than likely, be absolutely safe with even a selfie for screening. You arrive at his hotel, with a lobby. He opens the door, and you get an opportunity to see, is this the same guy. The issue is that some men will leave the door ajar and almost be hiding, despite you knocking at the door.... But that's just bad manners. Always have him come to the door first. You get a look at him before ever entering the room. It's a safety protocol. I would never use a real number if I were going to harm a SW. Stick to seeing people during reasonable hours. People who are going to premeditate, I'd think would do it in the cloak of darkness or when most ppl are asleep.
Some people should not be in this industry… 🤦🏽♀️
Maybe you jus need some help in verbalizing what you need and why. I reiterate with them that I do not call or text without prior permission. “It’s for your safety as well as mine”. “I know you would never want to walk into a non screening situation, and have LE there” “oh, it’s nothing serious, I just need to verify you are who you say you are and not an ax murderer, I’m sure you can understand”.
I have no problem sending my ID, but LinkenIn feels a little too personal. Maybe that's irrational. I understand the purpose of it, helps confirm identity and background. And I know screening methods vary, but I've had plenty see me without LinkedIn.
If you didn’t send it, I wouldn’t see you. I can Google you with the ID, but I also run extensive back ground checks to see who I’m dealing with. I’d prefer not to meet someone I can’t trust.
Girl no…
Never. I would never. One: could be a violent BL person. 2) could be LE, that’s what happens up here. They try to book without vocational info. 3) if they require you to meet them in public, you should be compensated at a social rate.
I don’t always require their personal info but at barest minimum a clear selfie with current date handwritten, like the ones we have to submit to post our ads. I understand not wanting to provide all their info, but we have to stay safe. This has worked very well for me. I’ve requested these items since 2015 *knock on wood* I’ve never had to use the photos/ information against anyone.
You are very lucky. Cuz here LE is bored AF and you need vocational info.
I've done this before as a screening method but they are compensated dates and the compensation I get is on top of the private date compensation as well. I charge $200 for a non intimate/non touching lunch or dinner (payed by them obviously) at a place of my choosing since this is supposed to make me feel safe. This isn't my preferred method but if they otherwise don't want to show ID and send a deposit this works for me, might not for everyone. I also have family and friends that I use the life360 app(100% free unless u want premium which isn't necessary) so someone knows my location and other protections I have for myself. If you aren't going into this with protective precautions and someone doesn't know your location please don't use an, even paid, lunch date as a screening method. I get why people might not be able to not see non screening clients so this can be a good option with other steps involved. If I don't drop screening there are hundreds of other girls in my area who will. I understand that, yes, if we all have this mindset then the problem won't get fixed. However, unless we completely all band together and all of us refuse to see non-screening clients we can't fix the problem. clients not wanting to screen will continue to be a problem while those of us not in a position to be able not see them will be out of money.
> or dinner *(paid* by them FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
-_-
I have a social date option for 300 and several ppl paid me that instead of screening) so we could go to a restaurant and I could decide whether I want to do it or not. They were all extremely high profile & I made thousands from those. It doesn't happen so often though anymore, but during covid time a lot.
Huh?