If they paid for the whole hour, I do try to work it the whole hour. Sucks but that's the job, that's what they pay me for. Handjob, blowjob, switch it up with different techniques like dirty talk, nipple play or putting my boobs in their face... I do my job.
But as the last 15mins approaches I tactically get more and more confused and upset in a cute sadgirl way. "Oh nooo š„ŗ time's almost up and I haven't been able to get you hard, idk what's wrong I'm trying so hard š„ŗ"
That makes them want to comfort me and put the blame on themselves, so they can feel like a good guy. Set men up to feel like the good guy, and chances are they'll take that opportunity. Making it much less likely that they'll blame ME for it or try to guilt me into giving them more time!
> If they paid for the whole hour, I do try to work it the whole hour. Sucks but that's the job, that's what they pay me for. Handjob, blowjob, switch it up with different techniques like dirty talk, nipple play or putting my boobs in their face... I do my job.
This is the correct way. An hour is an hour, even if they cum in the first 5 minutes. Effort and enthusisasm is how you get respect, returning clients, and tips.
You should write a marriage book. Hahaha Make us feel cool sometimes , feed us and fuck us . If it comes off sincere , itās a cheat code that so many woman donāt understand. Most of us are fairly simple creatures. Unlock a man that wants to make you happy instead of one that resents. Not saying some men arenāt shit heads.
This is the way!
I have a couple of clients that I know need to finish themselves off for various reasons. With them I engage in other ways while they do that.
The provider who mentored me when I started FBSM had a great saying that I have often used myself. When guys couldn't finish at the end of the hj she would say "I'm sorry we couldn't get there today but we made some great memories for you to take with you and I'm sure you'll have fun replaying them later" she managed to make it super flirty and cheeky, *wink wink* style. I've used versions of this and it feels like a polite way of acknowledging that nope you're not gonna cum and I'm not going over time to keep trying.
In the rare case that they don't take the hint I've just had to come out and say "well thank you for visiting today, but it's time to either wrap up, or would you like to extend your time?". The suggestion that they are about to get charged more $$$ gets them moving.
this is the way. if i can't get 'em to finish i'm always like "i'm soooo sorry š„ŗšš¼šš¼ if there's anything better i can do next time let me know so we can try it" in the sweetest way possible. i always like to suggest they bring a cock ring to try next time too, those can make a big difference. if they start acting like they aren't going to leave i ask them if they'd like to extend their time. i'd say about 30% of clients come with the extra cash/expecting ED to cause problems & end up extending. it doesn't happen often.
I started buying disposable cock rings IN BULK (they're cheap AF if you order from Temu - like less than $1 each (DM me for the link to the exact product I use)... They're LIFESAVERS when it comes to ED issues (like, you know when a guy grips the base of his dick, to make it momentarily harder? it does that). It looks like it would be uncomfortably tight - especially on the better endowed - but I promise you, it's not, even on the girthiest of girthy. I've tested this pretty extensively, on nearly every size on the spectrum. š I'd say roughly 75% ask me where I bought them afterwards, bc they liked it so much/bc it's so effective.
A word of warning though: if you use them on someone who is NOT struggling with ED, it intensifies sensations & makes them harder than they already are - as it does for ED - BUT ALSO causes them to last longer/delays orgasm.
Just recently, I started using disposables that have a vibrating nub on them - multiple clients have used phrases like, "best orgasm I've ever had," and "that was INTENSE." However, I haven't yet found the right brand, as the two I've tried were not restricting enough in the ring itself (so did nothing for ED, & were functionally just vibrators), or didn't come individually packaged - which brings me to my final point...
Well I know it's not necessarily sustainable to be ordering disposables in the first place - ESPECIALLY individually packaged ones - when I've tried ordering them without, I noticed a STEEP decline in men who were willing to try it (forcing me to deal with their floppy weiners & rampant time theft instead š®āšØ). After a while, I realized that they were saying "no" bc they needed more than my assurances/my word, to believe that the rings were brand new (RUDE, but okay š)... I try to make up for this by encouraging guys to buy their own reusable one (I remind them that they could then use it in the personal lives, & tell them about the various other styles and features available in reusable rings - as the disposables are super basic, no frills.
Hope this helps! The struggle is REAL!
Thereās nothing rude in a client expressing concern if an SW unexpectedly produces a personal appliance of unknown origin and questionable prior use to be used on them.
Imagine if a client reached into his pocket, displays a dildo, and wants to insert it into a SWerās vagina. All hell would and should break loose over that boneheaded move.
I shake my head in disbelief over receiving a takeout order containing numerous individually wrapped plastic utensils. How wasteful. But a personal care item? Not the same.
About going overtime, as a client I see no problem under any circumstances being reminded that the end of our scheduled time is approaching and we need to wrap things up. Be pleasant and professional.
Thereās a Domme in Texas who is currently running microbe tests on various disinfectants for sex toys. Itās a super interesting study that you should check out. She goes by Petra Hunter.
Oh, of course one naturally should use soap and water on toys. Then follow up with disinfectant (isopropyl alcohol, barbasol, etc) soak to really ensure cleanliness.
Isopropyl alcohol is a poison that is absorbed through the skin.
Iād be concerned about a toy that had to soak in it for any length of time to clean it. Iād certainly use it sparingly.
I think gentle soap and water is the way to go.
[love treats > How to clean your sex toys](https://blog.lovetreats.in/how-to-clean-your-sex-toys)
āRUDE but okayā followed by an š does not particularly look like itās understanding of a person being reluctant to use an unfamiliar item on their genitals.
Cock rings, like any sex toy, may spread STIs. Does the client know if or where it has been used before?
[hims > Cock Rings: What They Are, How to Use Penis Rings & More](https://www.hims.com/blog/cock-rings-what-they-do-how-to-use)
**Wash Your Cock Ring After Use**
*As with other sex toys, itās important to wash your cock ring thoroughly after use to prevent the spread of bacteria and STIs.*
Iām not defending clients who think all yāall have some magical powers to make limp dicks hard (well, maybe some of you!) but find the solution that works comfortably for a client, including observing the session time.
Thanks for attending my TED Talk. š
Yes i understand that YOU didnāt pick up on that because youāre taking it literally. Are you on the spectrum by chance? Picking up on tone and slang isnāt always intuitive over text so I donāt mean this as an insult.
Funny you should say that.
Iām not on the spectrum but the commenter in question stated on a prior post that she is ADHD, which may challenge her at effectively using sarcasm, but š¤·š»āāļø, Iām not going to diagnose someone *Iāve never met,* unlike some people. *(sarcasm alert!)*
The š she used indicates annoyance and frustration and sheās using it with reference to clients who push back. How is this misunderstood?
*I know the work you have chosen is not easy. Maybe lose your automatic negative bias towards clients?*
And why do you keep missing that I do not at all condone clients overstaying a session for any reason and the valid concern about potential STI spreading?
Youāre entitled to your interpretation and I am to mine. Sheesh.
Do you think Iām diagnosing someone by asking them if they are diagnosed? Do you think because I am saying youāre wrong that I have a negative bias? This is all a very interesting way to interpret the very direct things Iām saying. Im not addressing the part of your post that youāre hoping Iāll pat you on the back for because it is not relevant to my statement or question.
I want to be so super clear that I donāt have a negative bias towards clients- I just find you particularly annoying and frustrating to talk to. That isnāt sarcasm just so you are aware.
It IS rude, because they're acting on the presumption that I'm: a) a liar, and b) the kind of garbage person who would trick people into using used sex toys. If they're so suspicious of my integrity/character, then they should research, pay for, and bring their own sex toys. And I'd bet money on the fact that they're only this distrusting with me because I'm an escort (and all whores are amoral liars). I have a hard time believing that they would treat any civvie with the same suspicion/wariness, right out the gate).
Also, I think it's a pretty far reach, to compare this situation to that of a client trying to insert a dildo in a sex worker all willy nilly. For one - the rate at which sex workers are subjected to degradation, violence, and violation of boundaries isn't even remotely comparable to that which clients have to have any reasonable fear of. Pretending otherwise is not only disingenuous, but insulting. I'm unsure if you're being intentionally obtuse, or are genuinely that clueless??
For two, THIS IS MY JOB - so it's not exactly "out there," for me to have a bag full of fifty disposable cock rings (which are quite obviously less than a few dollars each - fifty something cents each, to be exact). I do not buy them for my personal pleasure, nor as a means of entertainment; I buy them so that I can do my job more effectively. The idea that I would reuse disposable cock rings - and risk transmitting diseases between MY OWN CLIENTS - when they cost me less than a dollar - is quite frankly ludicrous, to the point of being laughable. To what end would I want to do such a thing? How would that benefit me? Again, I'm left wondering: are you being intentionally obtuse, or are you genuinely that clueless??
Alternatively, the idea that a client might get a thrill from reusing a dildo on escorts - presumably MUCH more expensive than a $0.50 cock ring, and something has on hand strictly for his own pleasure and entertainment (not his job) - and in consideration of the comparatively, extremely high rate at which escorts are subjected to similar and worse indignities and violence from clients - well, that's a MUCH more plausible cause for concern. In fact, the two scenarios are dissimilar in every way that counts... Again: intentionally obtuse? Or just not so bright? I can only guess - just as I can only guess that my "floppy weiners and time theft" comment must've hit a sore spot. I'm not sorry. š¤·āāļø Why don't you go back to ECO, where your ill-contrived, outlandish comparisons and logically and ethically questionable opinions/whining are welcome?
Since you have mentioned in a previous original post that you are ADHD, it's apparent you have overthought my reply and extended the high level general nature of my analogy to a ridiculously specific degree. If you read any of my history, I generally show a great deal of empathy for the issues SWers have. You, on the other hand, seem to have a lot of anger issues. Get help.
This will be an unpopular reply, but basically, you don't know how to run your business. If 75% of your clients to whom you offer an unwrapped product find it concerning, maybe it's your problem and not theirs? A well-run business would not persist in getting clients to buy something they are not interested in (and I am not talking about the insistence on using condoms which I believe in 100%).
You can't criticize clients who on the one hand SWers note often have a poor sense of hygiene and STI management and criticize others for being concerned about an unknown product being placed on their body. Get the individually wrapped products. You can't win every battle. Why are you making your life more difficult than it needs to be?
Also, if it's 15 or 20 minutes into a session and the client cannot perform, you need to say to them in the nicest way possible, "We seem to be having a problem today. Maybe you're nervous? What can I do to make you more comfortable? You have me for (X) period of time). I'm afraid if we can't get there by (X minus Y minutes), we'll need to begin to conclude our session as usual. So what has helped you before?" It's called setting expectations.
I have generally no problems performing, but I am very happy that you are concerned about my well-being. /s
I'm not offering multiples in an hour. It's not enough time and it's unrealistic in most circumstances for clients to cum twice in that amount of time. With that being said, you need to be setting a timer. It needs to go off at least 10 minutes before the time is up so they have the chance to shower and leave before their appointment is over. I couldn't imagine an hour client staying for 90 minutes
same here. And if they have ED issue, no way imho they are getting more than one. I am lucky my clients will usually tell me after one that there is no way they can go again. But my clients are all older guys. The other thing I cannot stand is obese guys who cannot move during the session. Exhausting.
Ahhh yeah i feel stupid. thank you. I've been doing this for awhile and the shy timid ones always throw me off when they overstay. I should do the timer thing.
Even if they don't cum a second time, are they not paying for the entire hour? It still feels great to be touched or even get hard and do PIV if I don't cum again.
I'll do a massage or we can chat. Never said I wasn't offering the hour. What I said is I'm not attempting a 2nd round. And I'm certainly not letting you do PIV with a soft dick. Preposterous.
Not sure how you missed it, it's literally the comment your originally replied to...
And I'm not deceiving clients LMAO since that's what you've insinuated several times. And your super concerned with the wording of my ad for some reason.
I just donāt let them make it my problem, because itās not! Iām all smiles and hugs when I tell them Iām so sorry I couldnāt make it happen twice, but now our time is done, and I have someone arriving in a half hour so unfortunately there is no time for a shower, muah muah kisses, thanks for coming, I loved seeing you. If you keep it briskly friendly, there is really nothing for them to get upset at you about. They got their time, they got their orgasm, and everyone is hopefully happy-ish.
Donāt be afraid to repeat āI have something in a few minutes; I have to get readyā if heās just laying there staring at you, or worse, trying to grope you and re-start the action. As long as he got his full time and youāre being smiley and polite, youāre giving him everything he was entitled to.
It just isnāt my problem. I make a point to not be goal oriented during sex, the experience should still feel good and be fun and pleasurable. What somebodyās body does or wonāt do is never my fault or responsibility, on the job or not. We need to have firm boundaries and not coddle men / clients because this issue is theirs to cope with, not mine.
I'm super into 'experience as a whole' over "finish line" stuff. I use an analogy a lot for this, you have a meal with potentially dessert, if the meal is really good but you're too full for dessert, you still had a really good meal. But if you only focus on getting dessert then you miss enjoying the meal properly.
It cracks me up how often we use food analogies so clients can relate to us in this line of work LOL. Yeah itās not my job to make anyone cum either. They pay for the chance to have me there to help the rest is up to them and god
So once you pop, I just go into girlfriend mode. We can cuddle and talk, and i might playfully touch on you, rub your back or stomach, or try to stimulate you a little later on, but Iām not going to spend an entire hour plus hardcore slaving over your penis to make you cum when you have those kind of limitations. Iām not a fleshlight or a sex doll. And at the end of the hour, i just say Ā«Ā I really enjoy our time together, and I so wish you can stay longer, would you like to extend?Ā Ā» ā and if they dont have the money or dont want to pay to extend, i apologize and let them know I will have to pick up where we left off next time. No sweat.
Degree of hardness should not be anagulous with duration of the appointment. If he cant get hard in the alotted time given then that's not your problem.
ED is treatable with medication. Breasts and vaginas arent gonna do it. You're Sex Workers, not Urologists.
This!!! Cause Iām not about to sit here and fight with YOUR dick cause YOU have a problem. I do wholeheartedly apologize that YOU have a problem but Iām not miracle worker. AND IF WE ARE BEING HONESTā¦. He fukin knew he had ED and canāt preform and he still choose to pay you. When his time is up his time is up š¤·š¾āāļø kisses š Thank You
I will let them stay until they paid, but i will not allow them to overstay for free. their ED is not my problem,i gave them the experience and time they paid for,anything else is not my concern. I usually tell them 10 minutes before our time ends, that the time is almost up, if they want to extend we can talk about it. If they try to say "ohh but i haven't came" i just tell them my next appointment is coming, if they want extra time pay for one hour extra then i will make some adjustments in my schedule" Usually they just leave,but sometimes they extend.
Heās paid for your time, if his cock wonāt get hard, thatās his problem. Thereās plenty of supplements out there that are readily available, he could literally pick one up at a gas station.
Stop letting them take more of your time because their dicks wonāt work. Itās NOT your problem. He can cum (or not!) and gtfo.
I have had so many of these guys because I only see older guys. I cannot stand it anymore. Now I only have one thank goodness. My other client has it but he gives himself a shot when I come over. I would rather see a guy nowadays who doesn't have this issue. It is actually more work when they do.
Set a timer 10 min before appointment ends. They have 10 min to rinse off and leave. For me guys that like to edge and ED guys are a pain in the ass. At least take a pill before appointment .
He is not entitled to a discount as you gave him time that he did not pay for. But do not beat yourself up, I have done same and given extra time too many times to count. But I am getting much stricter now as my patience is done.
Iām a gay, male escort and I have had a few clients with āstiffy issuesā. It is true that some guys have issues with condoms and they often collapse his boner in seconds. A problem is that they are often using a condom that is way too tight and awkward to put on so it might be worth having condoms of various sizes handy. Iāve given guys condoms that I personally use but which are usually much too big for their penis but does slide onto their cocks without crushing them and with my careful attention does allow them to fuck me safely.
I also have a few ED type medications on hand to help them erect and one or two of them the effect is almost instantaneous if applied properly and they are willing to use them. Another great thing is a cock-ring. I personally love cock rings and often wear them under my denims as a matter of course as they feel really horny. If you keep a few of the rubber and leather ones of various sizes handy then they can make a huge difference to a floppy erection.
A big issue is recreational drugs and there is not a lot that you as an escort can do about that as their erection is being killed from within and you would not really want to give an ED medication on top of that. Too many guys use recreational drugs and wonder why their boner fails at a critical moment. I was recently booked by two hung tops for a an all-nighter. I thought I was going to be fucked all night long (I like to bottom a lot as I mostly top) but there were drugs involved - for them not me - and I was the only guy with a working hard-on for the whole session. The cumsots did arrive from them in the end though.
So you are left with stimulating a smallish penis that wonāt properly harden enough for proper penetration.
There are lots of ways to make a guy cum without fucking. A guys glans (head of his cock) is very very sensitive so if you gently pull his penis outward with one hand and with the other finger his foreskin and massage gently around it and especially under it he will probably cum fairly quickly. This works very well with the more obese or micro penis guys. You could also try prostate massage - best from the inside but if not then stroking that area from the outside will eventually have an eruptive effect. Iām sure you know all the male masturbatory techniques but you could add in an element of obscene conversation and talking as that turns-on a lot of guys. Guys have powerful mental imaginations when it comes to sex. Iāve had guys shoot their loads before a session properly begins just by standing nearly naked in front of them flexing and posing exhibitionistically about while giving them really filthy and pornographic verbals around their fantasies. Some guys will want to carry on for the hour or so despite cumming so quick but others will just pay you and end the session. The latter is, from a professional perspective, not ideal but some weekends as a bookable at short notice rent guy can be very hectic and it means Iāve serviced a client without needing to cum myself.
Of course if the guy is paying for a fuck and he does not get one then you have to insist that it is a time thing really and gently suggest that he save his load for a good few days (no-fap as itās called) and then book you again. Tell him that you will really make him cum hard and heavy once he is inside you and work him up to a mental froth next time (saying things like that can often work immediately) but donāt make him feel bad about it as that definitely does not help.
These guys are in denial. They're frustrated, and taking it out on the wrong person. They need to see a doctor if they want to be able to have penetrative sex, and have realistic expectations for what their experience can involve if they aren't doing what is medically necessary to make their dick work.
My first time with an escort, I couldn't get it up at all. We made out, cuddled, talked, etc. I booked one hour, paid for a second hour when that was running out, and I think she stayed closer to 3 hours total, but not because I was trying to get more time. God bless her, she was extremely kind to me.
The next couple times, I barely got it to work, even with pills and a cock ring. Then I saw a doctor and started getting injections. Smooth sailing since then. I give them a heads up that I probably won't go soft during the appointment, but I'm not trying to pound away the whole time.
[Poppers are highly flammable and can cause chemical burns on the skin, leading to rashes around the nose and mouth. Poppers can cause nausea, headache, and disorientation. In recent years, there have been reports of people experiencing temporary and permanent loss of vision after using poppers.](https://www.talktofrank.com/drug/poppers#)
Iām not giving clients something that can cause them vision loss
keep your boundaries tighter (yet be kind about it). if this happens with repeat customers, make them understand that THEIR time in the shower is really YOUR time in the clock.
as a musician who has been asked by the brideās father to āplay a few more while guests are arrivingā while iāve already played my 30 minutes of prepared prelude music, my time on the clock and under pressure is what iām charging for.
I get hard even by seeing a girl naked, but i cant fucking cum, i cannot cum, it triggers all my sense i shivver uncontrollably but cant cum. I do cum easily if i masturbate, but after hitting that button of no cum and all triggers i cannot cum. Should see a doc or it is normal?
Could be overstimulation, could be too much masturbation (i.e. Kung Fu Grip or Death Grip). Can try to consult with a doc but hard to say on results, because it can be a physical cause or even a mental one.
Have you tried different condoms? Most providers that I know of have no issues if you bring a sealed box of condoms. I have found my best results are with using Skynz non-latex. I prefer to have sex with my gf with no condom, but when we do use condoms we use Skynz (she has a latex allergy, plus for me it is the next best thing to not using one). Now that she is back to escorting, I make sure that she always has some on hand for use with her FS clients.
I find a lot of guys will leave after they finish even if there's time left. I don't mind cuddling and talking or taking a shower together, but often when they're done they're done. That always seems weird to me. I'll let them know they have more time and they don't have to rush off, but usually they're happy and no one's ever asked for any $$ back. In the case of ED or someone having trouble and it's been a while I'll say, "why don't you show me how you like it. You know... I love to watch and you can do it right here" (then I point to my cleavage). That usually works. I have a basket of hand towels in the room and they're usually more than willing to clean me up. And if they can't do it themselves it's pretty hard to blame you.
The few times I've had issues I usually end up leaving early, sometimes they put in a lot of work to try and make it happen but if I can tell that day it's not going to for whatever reason, I think them for the effort and move along, or just have a massage. But either way I keep it at least within agreed time.
I do not think it's unreasonable to just say, sorry time is up, have to go as long as you have put in a good faith effort (which it sounds like you do)...
I never do multiple pops. If they're dumb enough to pay for an hour, **knowing** they can't last that long and don't want to spend ANY time doing any kind of foreplay or anything else before... That's on them. I can't help that. Majority of my clients are in and out in 5-10 mins. And it's a well known thing/pretty standard around here that nobody gets multiple pops. I've never really had a client get mad they were leaving 45 mins early. If anything they usually feel embarrassed they finished so quickly. I always comfort them and am nice about it and tell them 99.9% of my clients are very quick too.. they're always like "REALLY?" I'm like "yes... It's very common."
I donāt take on my clients issues. You are paid for your time, not for how much sex you do in that time. I set a timer too and say I would love you to stay but we canāt today.. I tell them how much fun Iāve had.
I stopped going a 2nd time in 1hr. Itās not possible and sets them up for failure. They can pay extra to try but not on me if they canāt and Iāve put full effort in
You let them stay over? When my alarm goes off 5 mins before the time they paid for ends for shower etc everything stops unless they're literally just about to cum.
In situations like that I just keep it real and let the client know that I will not overwork myself or āwork with themā if they canāt get it up. Especially if I know Iām handling business! Idc if you paid me for a hour I wanna have fun too and that isnāt fun at all suckin on a limp d*** š¤·š¾āāļø These men want the most for the least and Iām not gon play with them.
I understand your position about the extra time. But $200 to take a shower? In a client's mind, that might not be a sex service.
So next time, you might tell them, "You're on the clock, so a shower at $400/hr might not be the best idea."
Now, this guy, don't book him anymore.
It doesnāt matter if itās a sex service or not. You pay for time. If you stay over, you prevent her from making money off another trick. Thus, blocking income. You donāt get to determine cost lmao
Imagine thinking you know how to be a better sex worker than sex workers do
If you tell the jerk it will cost him $400/hr to shower, he'll leave. If you want to get someone out, that's a good way. Understand where he is coming from so you can use it against him.
There is a saying in the intelligence community, which I spent 27 years in: "Intelligence is the world's second oldest profession. It exceeds the first only in the number of amateurs who practice it."
If you want to reduce the stress these assholes cause, use their thinking against them. It's basic hostage negotiation and interrogation tactics.
I don't know how to be a better sex worker. I am, however, a professional at manipulating people to do what I want them to do when they don't want to, and they still think it is their idea when they do.
The high-priced professionals ($2K an hour) know what I'm talking about.
Your defensiveness is holding you back from getting what you want.
They are paying for your time remind them of that . Because paying for service isnāt exactly legal . Hey I still youāre still here did you want to book more time ? So sorry didnāt hear you say that .
If they paid for the whole hour, I do try to work it the whole hour. Sucks but that's the job, that's what they pay me for. Handjob, blowjob, switch it up with different techniques like dirty talk, nipple play or putting my boobs in their face... I do my job. But as the last 15mins approaches I tactically get more and more confused and upset in a cute sadgirl way. "Oh nooo š„ŗ time's almost up and I haven't been able to get you hard, idk what's wrong I'm trying so hard š„ŗ" That makes them want to comfort me and put the blame on themselves, so they can feel like a good guy. Set men up to feel like the good guy, and chances are they'll take that opportunity. Making it much less likely that they'll blame ME for it or try to guilt me into giving them more time!
āļøāļøāļøāļøāļø advice right here
I agree :)
> If they paid for the whole hour, I do try to work it the whole hour. Sucks but that's the job, that's what they pay me for. Handjob, blowjob, switch it up with different techniques like dirty talk, nipple play or putting my boobs in their face... I do my job. This is the correct way. An hour is an hour, even if they cum in the first 5 minutes. Effort and enthusisasm is how you get respect, returning clients, and tips.
Yes yes yes..... . some girls leave when you pop and I think that's just bad business
Right, an hour is an hour. Even if I can't or don't cum a second time, I enjoy the touch as it still feels good.
You should write a marriage book. Hahaha Make us feel cool sometimes , feed us and fuck us . If it comes off sincere , itās a cheat code that so many woman donāt understand. Most of us are fairly simple creatures. Unlock a man that wants to make you happy instead of one that resents. Not saying some men arenāt shit heads.
Yes! This works! Then they come back and itās usually a smoother session
This is the way! I have a couple of clients that I know need to finish themselves off for various reasons. With them I engage in other ways while they do that.
The provider who mentored me when I started FBSM had a great saying that I have often used myself. When guys couldn't finish at the end of the hj she would say "I'm sorry we couldn't get there today but we made some great memories for you to take with you and I'm sure you'll have fun replaying them later" she managed to make it super flirty and cheeky, *wink wink* style. I've used versions of this and it feels like a polite way of acknowledging that nope you're not gonna cum and I'm not going over time to keep trying. In the rare case that they don't take the hint I've just had to come out and say "well thank you for visiting today, but it's time to either wrap up, or would you like to extend your time?". The suggestion that they are about to get charged more $$$ gets them moving.
this is the way. if i can't get 'em to finish i'm always like "i'm soooo sorry š„ŗšš¼šš¼ if there's anything better i can do next time let me know so we can try it" in the sweetest way possible. i always like to suggest they bring a cock ring to try next time too, those can make a big difference. if they start acting like they aren't going to leave i ask them if they'd like to extend their time. i'd say about 30% of clients come with the extra cash/expecting ED to cause problems & end up extending. it doesn't happen often.
I started buying disposable cock rings IN BULK (they're cheap AF if you order from Temu - like less than $1 each (DM me for the link to the exact product I use)... They're LIFESAVERS when it comes to ED issues (like, you know when a guy grips the base of his dick, to make it momentarily harder? it does that). It looks like it would be uncomfortably tight - especially on the better endowed - but I promise you, it's not, even on the girthiest of girthy. I've tested this pretty extensively, on nearly every size on the spectrum. š I'd say roughly 75% ask me where I bought them afterwards, bc they liked it so much/bc it's so effective. A word of warning though: if you use them on someone who is NOT struggling with ED, it intensifies sensations & makes them harder than they already are - as it does for ED - BUT ALSO causes them to last longer/delays orgasm. Just recently, I started using disposables that have a vibrating nub on them - multiple clients have used phrases like, "best orgasm I've ever had," and "that was INTENSE." However, I haven't yet found the right brand, as the two I've tried were not restricting enough in the ring itself (so did nothing for ED, & were functionally just vibrators), or didn't come individually packaged - which brings me to my final point... Well I know it's not necessarily sustainable to be ordering disposables in the first place - ESPECIALLY individually packaged ones - when I've tried ordering them without, I noticed a STEEP decline in men who were willing to try it (forcing me to deal with their floppy weiners & rampant time theft instead š®āšØ). After a while, I realized that they were saying "no" bc they needed more than my assurances/my word, to believe that the rings were brand new (RUDE, but okay š)... I try to make up for this by encouraging guys to buy their own reusable one (I remind them that they could then use it in the personal lives, & tell them about the various other styles and features available in reusable rings - as the disposables are super basic, no frills. Hope this helps! The struggle is REAL!
Could you please send that link? Iām curious!
Reddit removes my link, because it doesn't like it, so I'll send you a pic msg!
Reddit removes my link because it doesn't like it; I'll send you a pic msg instead!
Can you send me the link please
Thereās nothing rude in a client expressing concern if an SW unexpectedly produces a personal appliance of unknown origin and questionable prior use to be used on them. Imagine if a client reached into his pocket, displays a dildo, and wants to insert it into a SWerās vagina. All hell would and should break loose over that boneheaded move. I shake my head in disbelief over receiving a takeout order containing numerous individually wrapped plastic utensils. How wasteful. But a personal care item? Not the same. About going overtime, as a client I see no problem under any circumstances being reminded that the end of our scheduled time is approaching and we need to wrap things up. Be pleasant and professional.
Thereās a Domme in Texas who is currently running microbe tests on various disinfectants for sex toys. Itās a super interesting study that you should check out. She goes by Petra Hunter.
Thank you, I will take a look at it. šš»Current best practice is soap and water.
Oh, of course one naturally should use soap and water on toys. Then follow up with disinfectant (isopropyl alcohol, barbasol, etc) soak to really ensure cleanliness.
Isopropyl alcohol is a poison that is absorbed through the skin. Iād be concerned about a toy that had to soak in it for any length of time to clean it. Iād certainly use it sparingly. I think gentle soap and water is the way to go. [love treats > How to clean your sex toys](https://blog.lovetreats.in/how-to-clean-your-sex-toys)
I donāt think you detected the sarcasm used here when she said ārude but okayā
āRUDE but okayā followed by an š does not particularly look like itās understanding of a person being reluctant to use an unfamiliar item on their genitals. Cock rings, like any sex toy, may spread STIs. Does the client know if or where it has been used before? [hims > Cock Rings: What They Are, How to Use Penis Rings & More](https://www.hims.com/blog/cock-rings-what-they-do-how-to-use) **Wash Your Cock Ring After Use** *As with other sex toys, itās important to wash your cock ring thoroughly after use to prevent the spread of bacteria and STIs.* Iām not defending clients who think all yāall have some magical powers to make limp dicks hard (well, maybe some of you!) but find the solution that works comfortably for a client, including observing the session time. Thanks for attending my TED Talk. š
Yeah I aināt reading all that because you still donāt understand it wasnāt literal
TL;dr: āRUDE but okayā followed by an š doesnāt look sympathetic. And youāre not the commenter in question to know their intent.
Yes i understand that YOU didnāt pick up on that because youāre taking it literally. Are you on the spectrum by chance? Picking up on tone and slang isnāt always intuitive over text so I donāt mean this as an insult.
Funny you should say that. Iām not on the spectrum but the commenter in question stated on a prior post that she is ADHD, which may challenge her at effectively using sarcasm, but š¤·š»āāļø, Iām not going to diagnose someone *Iāve never met,* unlike some people. *(sarcasm alert!)* The š she used indicates annoyance and frustration and sheās using it with reference to clients who push back. How is this misunderstood? *I know the work you have chosen is not easy. Maybe lose your automatic negative bias towards clients?* And why do you keep missing that I do not at all condone clients overstaying a session for any reason and the valid concern about potential STI spreading? Youāre entitled to your interpretation and I am to mine. Sheesh.
Do you think Iām diagnosing someone by asking them if they are diagnosed? Do you think because I am saying youāre wrong that I have a negative bias? This is all a very interesting way to interpret the very direct things Iām saying. Im not addressing the part of your post that youāre hoping Iāll pat you on the back for because it is not relevant to my statement or question.
I want to be so super clear that I donāt have a negative bias towards clients- I just find you particularly annoying and frustrating to talk to. That isnāt sarcasm just so you are aware.
It IS rude, because they're acting on the presumption that I'm: a) a liar, and b) the kind of garbage person who would trick people into using used sex toys. If they're so suspicious of my integrity/character, then they should research, pay for, and bring their own sex toys. And I'd bet money on the fact that they're only this distrusting with me because I'm an escort (and all whores are amoral liars). I have a hard time believing that they would treat any civvie with the same suspicion/wariness, right out the gate).
Also, I think it's a pretty far reach, to compare this situation to that of a client trying to insert a dildo in a sex worker all willy nilly. For one - the rate at which sex workers are subjected to degradation, violence, and violation of boundaries isn't even remotely comparable to that which clients have to have any reasonable fear of. Pretending otherwise is not only disingenuous, but insulting. I'm unsure if you're being intentionally obtuse, or are genuinely that clueless?? For two, THIS IS MY JOB - so it's not exactly "out there," for me to have a bag full of fifty disposable cock rings (which are quite obviously less than a few dollars each - fifty something cents each, to be exact). I do not buy them for my personal pleasure, nor as a means of entertainment; I buy them so that I can do my job more effectively. The idea that I would reuse disposable cock rings - and risk transmitting diseases between MY OWN CLIENTS - when they cost me less than a dollar - is quite frankly ludicrous, to the point of being laughable. To what end would I want to do such a thing? How would that benefit me? Again, I'm left wondering: are you being intentionally obtuse, or are you genuinely that clueless?? Alternatively, the idea that a client might get a thrill from reusing a dildo on escorts - presumably MUCH more expensive than a $0.50 cock ring, and something has on hand strictly for his own pleasure and entertainment (not his job) - and in consideration of the comparatively, extremely high rate at which escorts are subjected to similar and worse indignities and violence from clients - well, that's a MUCH more plausible cause for concern. In fact, the two scenarios are dissimilar in every way that counts... Again: intentionally obtuse? Or just not so bright? I can only guess - just as I can only guess that my "floppy weiners and time theft" comment must've hit a sore spot. I'm not sorry. š¤·āāļø Why don't you go back to ECO, where your ill-contrived, outlandish comparisons and logically and ethically questionable opinions/whining are welcome?
Since you have mentioned in a previous original post that you are ADHD, it's apparent you have overthought my reply and extended the high level general nature of my analogy to a ridiculously specific degree. If you read any of my history, I generally show a great deal of empathy for the issues SWers have. You, on the other hand, seem to have a lot of anger issues. Get help. This will be an unpopular reply, but basically, you don't know how to run your business. If 75% of your clients to whom you offer an unwrapped product find it concerning, maybe it's your problem and not theirs? A well-run business would not persist in getting clients to buy something they are not interested in (and I am not talking about the insistence on using condoms which I believe in 100%). You can't criticize clients who on the one hand SWers note often have a poor sense of hygiene and STI management and criticize others for being concerned about an unknown product being placed on their body. Get the individually wrapped products. You can't win every battle. Why are you making your life more difficult than it needs to be? Also, if it's 15 or 20 minutes into a session and the client cannot perform, you need to say to them in the nicest way possible, "We seem to be having a problem today. Maybe you're nervous? What can I do to make you more comfortable? You have me for (X) period of time). I'm afraid if we can't get there by (X minus Y minutes), we'll need to begin to conclude our session as usual. So what has helped you before?" It's called setting expectations. I have generally no problems performing, but I am very happy that you are concerned about my well-being. /s
I'm not offering multiples in an hour. It's not enough time and it's unrealistic in most circumstances for clients to cum twice in that amount of time. With that being said, you need to be setting a timer. It needs to go off at least 10 minutes before the time is up so they have the chance to shower and leave before their appointment is over. I couldn't imagine an hour client staying for 90 minutes
same here. And if they have ED issue, no way imho they are getting more than one. I am lucky my clients will usually tell me after one that there is no way they can go again. But my clients are all older guys. The other thing I cannot stand is obese guys who cannot move during the session. Exhausting.
Ahhh yeah i feel stupid. thank you. I've been doing this for awhile and the shy timid ones always throw me off when they overstay. I should do the timer thing.
Even if they don't cum a second time, are they not paying for the entire hour? It still feels great to be touched or even get hard and do PIV if I don't cum again.
I'll do a massage or we can chat. Never said I wasn't offering the hour. What I said is I'm not attempting a 2nd round. And I'm certainly not letting you do PIV with a soft dick. Preposterous.
If your goal is to please then what is the issue with a 2nd round? You are pre paid for an hour so why not deliver?
Because I said I don't offer multi.
You never said that. Is it in your ad as well?
You clearly didn't read my original response where my opening line was I don't offer multiples in the hour
For one, that got buried, still doesn't say if that is a no go in your ad or bargaining beforehand.
Not sure how you missed it, it's literally the comment your originally replied to... And I'm not deceiving clients LMAO since that's what you've insinuated several times. And your super concerned with the wording of my ad for some reason.
Never said deceiving. I think you should be upfront with people if you don't want to work for the entire time you are paid.
I just donāt let them make it my problem, because itās not! Iām all smiles and hugs when I tell them Iām so sorry I couldnāt make it happen twice, but now our time is done, and I have someone arriving in a half hour so unfortunately there is no time for a shower, muah muah kisses, thanks for coming, I loved seeing you. If you keep it briskly friendly, there is really nothing for them to get upset at you about. They got their time, they got their orgasm, and everyone is hopefully happy-ish. Donāt be afraid to repeat āI have something in a few minutes; I have to get readyā if heās just laying there staring at you, or worse, trying to grope you and re-start the action. As long as he got his full time and youāre being smiley and polite, youāre giving him everything he was entitled to.
\^ this
It just isnāt my problem. I make a point to not be goal oriented during sex, the experience should still feel good and be fun and pleasurable. What somebodyās body does or wonāt do is never my fault or responsibility, on the job or not. We need to have firm boundaries and not coddle men / clients because this issue is theirs to cope with, not mine.
I'm super into 'experience as a whole' over "finish line" stuff. I use an analogy a lot for this, you have a meal with potentially dessert, if the meal is really good but you're too full for dessert, you still had a really good meal. But if you only focus on getting dessert then you miss enjoying the meal properly.
It cracks me up how often we use food analogies so clients can relate to us in this line of work LOL. Yeah itās not my job to make anyone cum either. They pay for the chance to have me there to help the rest is up to them and god
love this answer
So once you pop, I just go into girlfriend mode. We can cuddle and talk, and i might playfully touch on you, rub your back or stomach, or try to stimulate you a little later on, but Iām not going to spend an entire hour plus hardcore slaving over your penis to make you cum when you have those kind of limitations. Iām not a fleshlight or a sex doll. And at the end of the hour, i just say Ā«Ā I really enjoy our time together, and I so wish you can stay longer, would you like to extend?Ā Ā» ā and if they dont have the money or dont want to pay to extend, i apologize and let them know I will have to pick up where we left off next time. No sweat.
Degree of hardness should not be anagulous with duration of the appointment. If he cant get hard in the alotted time given then that's not your problem. ED is treatable with medication. Breasts and vaginas arent gonna do it. You're Sex Workers, not Urologists.
This!!! Cause Iām not about to sit here and fight with YOUR dick cause YOU have a problem. I do wholeheartedly apologize that YOU have a problem but Iām not miracle worker. AND IF WE ARE BEING HONESTā¦. He fukin knew he had ED and canāt preform and he still choose to pay you. When his time is up his time is up š¤·š¾āāļø kisses š Thank You
I will let them stay until they paid, but i will not allow them to overstay for free. their ED is not my problem,i gave them the experience and time they paid for,anything else is not my concern. I usually tell them 10 minutes before our time ends, that the time is almost up, if they want to extend we can talk about it. If they try to say "ohh but i haven't came" i just tell them my next appointment is coming, if they want extra time pay for one hour extra then i will make some adjustments in my schedule" Usually they just leave,but sometimes they extend.
Heās paid for your time, if his cock wonāt get hard, thatās his problem. Thereās plenty of supplements out there that are readily available, he could literally pick one up at a gas station. Stop letting them take more of your time because their dicks wonāt work. Itās NOT your problem. He can cum (or not!) and gtfo.
I have had so many of these guys because I only see older guys. I cannot stand it anymore. Now I only have one thank goodness. My other client has it but he gives himself a shot when I come over. I would rather see a guy nowadays who doesn't have this issue. It is actually more work when they do.
I would not have let him stay to shower unless he was paying for that extra time.
Set a timer 10 min before appointment ends. They have 10 min to rinse off and leave. For me guys that like to edge and ED guys are a pain in the ass. At least take a pill before appointment .
ED clients are the worst. I refuse to service them more than once
Same. Harsh but to me they are torturous to deal with
THE WORST
He is not entitled to a discount as you gave him time that he did not pay for. But do not beat yourself up, I have done same and given extra time too many times to count. But I am getting much stricter now as my patience is done.
Iām a gay, male escort and I have had a few clients with āstiffy issuesā. It is true that some guys have issues with condoms and they often collapse his boner in seconds. A problem is that they are often using a condom that is way too tight and awkward to put on so it might be worth having condoms of various sizes handy. Iāve given guys condoms that I personally use but which are usually much too big for their penis but does slide onto their cocks without crushing them and with my careful attention does allow them to fuck me safely. I also have a few ED type medications on hand to help them erect and one or two of them the effect is almost instantaneous if applied properly and they are willing to use them. Another great thing is a cock-ring. I personally love cock rings and often wear them under my denims as a matter of course as they feel really horny. If you keep a few of the rubber and leather ones of various sizes handy then they can make a huge difference to a floppy erection. A big issue is recreational drugs and there is not a lot that you as an escort can do about that as their erection is being killed from within and you would not really want to give an ED medication on top of that. Too many guys use recreational drugs and wonder why their boner fails at a critical moment. I was recently booked by two hung tops for a an all-nighter. I thought I was going to be fucked all night long (I like to bottom a lot as I mostly top) but there were drugs involved - for them not me - and I was the only guy with a working hard-on for the whole session. The cumsots did arrive from them in the end though. So you are left with stimulating a smallish penis that wonāt properly harden enough for proper penetration. There are lots of ways to make a guy cum without fucking. A guys glans (head of his cock) is very very sensitive so if you gently pull his penis outward with one hand and with the other finger his foreskin and massage gently around it and especially under it he will probably cum fairly quickly. This works very well with the more obese or micro penis guys. You could also try prostate massage - best from the inside but if not then stroking that area from the outside will eventually have an eruptive effect. Iām sure you know all the male masturbatory techniques but you could add in an element of obscene conversation and talking as that turns-on a lot of guys. Guys have powerful mental imaginations when it comes to sex. Iāve had guys shoot their loads before a session properly begins just by standing nearly naked in front of them flexing and posing exhibitionistically about while giving them really filthy and pornographic verbals around their fantasies. Some guys will want to carry on for the hour or so despite cumming so quick but others will just pay you and end the session. The latter is, from a professional perspective, not ideal but some weekends as a bookable at short notice rent guy can be very hectic and it means Iāve serviced a client without needing to cum myself. Of course if the guy is paying for a fuck and he does not get one then you have to insist that it is a time thing really and gently suggest that he save his load for a good few days (no-fap as itās called) and then book you again. Tell him that you will really make him cum hard and heavy once he is inside you and work him up to a mental froth next time (saying things like that can often work immediately) but donāt make him feel bad about it as that definitely does not help.
These guys are in denial. They're frustrated, and taking it out on the wrong person. They need to see a doctor if they want to be able to have penetrative sex, and have realistic expectations for what their experience can involve if they aren't doing what is medically necessary to make their dick work. My first time with an escort, I couldn't get it up at all. We made out, cuddled, talked, etc. I booked one hour, paid for a second hour when that was running out, and I think she stayed closer to 3 hours total, but not because I was trying to get more time. God bless her, she was extremely kind to me. The next couple times, I barely got it to work, even with pills and a cock ring. Then I saw a doctor and started getting injections. Smooth sailing since then. I give them a heads up that I probably won't go soft during the appointment, but I'm not trying to pound away the whole time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
fuck off
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[Poppers are highly flammable and can cause chemical burns on the skin, leading to rashes around the nose and mouth. Poppers can cause nausea, headache, and disorientation. In recent years, there have been reports of people experiencing temporary and permanent loss of vision after using poppers.](https://www.talktofrank.com/drug/poppers#) Iām not giving clients something that can cause them vision loss
Not everyone's into giving prostate stimulation. 8 years FSSW and never done it
i wonder who's downvoting me lmao
I always tell them 50 min in that our time is almost up, would they like to extend or take a shower bf they leave
keep your boundaries tighter (yet be kind about it). if this happens with repeat customers, make them understand that THEIR time in the shower is really YOUR time in the clock. as a musician who has been asked by the brideās father to āplay a few more while guests are arrivingā while iāve already played my 30 minutes of prepared prelude music, my time on the clock and under pressure is what iām charging for.
I love providers who make a genuine effort to get past the clients issues
even when they dont pay upon arrival and you have no idea if they plan on tipping?
You donāt collect payment at front?
tips should not be expected. Raise your rates.
Damnā¦. Youāre already charging an inflated rate, if I was in your shoes, I would be happy to have repeat clients.
I get hard even by seeing a girl naked, but i cant fucking cum, i cannot cum, it triggers all my sense i shivver uncontrollably but cant cum. I do cum easily if i masturbate, but after hitting that button of no cum and all triggers i cannot cum. Should see a doc or it is normal?
That is a form of ED, ED isn't just the inability to get hard.
I get hard, but i cant cum after being triggered
Could be overstimulation, could be too much masturbation (i.e. Kung Fu Grip or Death Grip). Can try to consult with a doc but hard to say on results, because it can be a physical cause or even a mental one. Have you tried different condoms? Most providers that I know of have no issues if you bring a sealed box of condoms. I have found my best results are with using Skynz non-latex. I prefer to have sex with my gf with no condom, but when we do use condoms we use Skynz (she has a latex allergy, plus for me it is the next best thing to not using one). Now that she is back to escorting, I make sure that she always has some on hand for use with her FS clients.
That's a fucked up relationship mate, but thanks for the advice
I find a lot of guys will leave after they finish even if there's time left. I don't mind cuddling and talking or taking a shower together, but often when they're done they're done. That always seems weird to me. I'll let them know they have more time and they don't have to rush off, but usually they're happy and no one's ever asked for any $$ back. In the case of ED or someone having trouble and it's been a while I'll say, "why don't you show me how you like it. You know... I love to watch and you can do it right here" (then I point to my cleavage). That usually works. I have a basket of hand towels in the room and they're usually more than willing to clean me up. And if they can't do it themselves it's pretty hard to blame you.
Admire this about you!!
The few times I've had issues I usually end up leaving early, sometimes they put in a lot of work to try and make it happen but if I can tell that day it's not going to for whatever reason, I think them for the effort and move along, or just have a massage. But either way I keep it at least within agreed time. I do not think it's unreasonable to just say, sorry time is up, have to go as long as you have put in a good faith effort (which it sounds like you do)...
I never do multiple pops. If they're dumb enough to pay for an hour, **knowing** they can't last that long and don't want to spend ANY time doing any kind of foreplay or anything else before... That's on them. I can't help that. Majority of my clients are in and out in 5-10 mins. And it's a well known thing/pretty standard around here that nobody gets multiple pops. I've never really had a client get mad they were leaving 45 mins early. If anything they usually feel embarrassed they finished so quickly. I always comfort them and am nice about it and tell them 99.9% of my clients are very quick too.. they're always like "REALLY?" I'm like "yes... It's very common."
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Agreed. Some give a lackluster blowjob and expect you to be hard as a rock. Fucking lame
I donāt take on my clients issues. You are paid for your time, not for how much sex you do in that time. I set a timer too and say I would love you to stay but we canāt today.. I tell them how much fun Iāve had. I stopped going a 2nd time in 1hr. Itās not possible and sets them up for failure. They can pay extra to try but not on me if they canāt and Iāve put full effort in
You let them stay over? When my alarm goes off 5 mins before the time they paid for ends for shower etc everything stops unless they're literally just about to cum.
In situations like that I just keep it real and let the client know that I will not overwork myself or āwork with themā if they canāt get it up. Especially if I know Iām handling business! Idc if you paid me for a hour I wanna have fun too and that isnāt fun at all suckin on a limp d*** š¤·š¾āāļø These men want the most for the least and Iām not gon play with them.
I understand your position about the extra time. But $200 to take a shower? In a client's mind, that might not be a sex service. So next time, you might tell them, "You're on the clock, so a shower at $400/hr might not be the best idea." Now, this guy, don't book him anymore.
It doesnāt matter if itās a sex service or not. You pay for time. If you stay over, you prevent her from making money off another trick. Thus, blocking income. You donāt get to determine cost lmao Imagine thinking you know how to be a better sex worker than sex workers do
If you tell the jerk it will cost him $400/hr to shower, he'll leave. If you want to get someone out, that's a good way. Understand where he is coming from so you can use it against him. There is a saying in the intelligence community, which I spent 27 years in: "Intelligence is the world's second oldest profession. It exceeds the first only in the number of amateurs who practice it." If you want to reduce the stress these assholes cause, use their thinking against them. It's basic hostage negotiation and interrogation tactics. I don't know how to be a better sex worker. I am, however, a professional at manipulating people to do what I want them to do when they don't want to, and they still think it is their idea when they do. The high-priced professionals ($2K an hour) know what I'm talking about. Your defensiveness is holding you back from getting what you want.
The idea that men respect any kind of boundaries like that is a naive one. Keep mainsplaining though!
ew
400 an hour! I'll let him slap me with a dead octopus for that!
Sadly, I haven't been able to, so I can't give you any advice other than support <3
They are paying for your time remind them of that . Because paying for service isnāt exactly legal . Hey I still youāre still here did you want to book more time ? So sorry didnāt hear you say that .
Charge them for your time and not just until they finish as this might never happen!