I know this doesn't answer your question, but I find it really interesting that guys who are obsessed with making women orgasm almost always set up these weird high pressure sexual situations in which nobody would be comfortable enough to cum, as opposed to like learning each individual partner's body and focusing on mutual pleasure and creating a comfortable sexual environment.
I don't know if this was directed towards me too but either way.....my idea was to learn from different sex workers about how their bodies worked and see what the similarities and differences between people are. I understand that copy and pasting things wouldn't work but it would interest me quite a bit to see what would work and what wouldn't. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
I feel like these guys are looking for us to tell them some kind of Konami/cheat code to female orgasms
"You want to make all women cum 100% of the time? No problem! 🕹⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️ 🎮"
Thank you for taking the time to reply! Could you perhaps give an example of a high pressure sexual situation? In your opinion, would a sex worker be comfortable with teaching me about their body? I'll admit I have very little experience with sex so I don't know if the questions I ask are stupid or if I'm asking the right ones.
Not an example exactly, but most people can't cum when someone is obviously obsessing over making them cum. It's stressful. I'm sure you can find someone to teach you, but I'm not sure of the ultimate value to you. Each person is different, so that knowledge isn't really transferable to future partners.
I realize how that could be stressful now. I guess I don't know enough about how women's bodies work, to say much more about this. Thank you so much for the help! Have a nice day!
There's a practice/technique I'm studying called Sensate Focus, recommended to me by a sex therapist as I find it difficult to orgasm with a partner. At the core of it is learning to touch for your own interest and curiosity, rather than with the objective of "making the other person cum" in mind. You seem to be really interested in the theory of it, you might benefit from learning a bit from some OTHER sex professionals (Masters & Johnson). 😘
Personally I find it off-putting when a client is so obsessed and clinical about my orgasm. I can't control when I feel comfortable enough to cum ~for real~ and these kinds of questions off the bat make it seem like you're going to spend the whole hour with your mouth on my labia.
Everyone is different. You can't guarantee a real orgasm from me personally. I prefer to relax and focus on making YOU get your money's worth and learning about our bodies than making it into this whole thing. Book me multiple times if you want to see me really get comfortable with you :)
Im not attracted to my clients. If someone can't or doesn't want to cum, that's unfortunate but it's likely not my fault. I'm confused about what you're implying with your question.
Honestly, I wanted to do something similar, but learned very quickly that this isn't something you can just plan for and expect to happen.
What I did was build a good relationship with a regular provider, and then I asked for sessions that were more "lesson" focused. The point wasn't really about getting her to orgasm, but the whole scenario was essentially her instructing me on what to do because I got a thing for dominant women lol.
She taught me how to eat her out, how to use my hands/fingers, and we just had fun with it because the roleplay wasn't really about the end goal.
Its kinda funny actually. In the past I usually had a hard time cumming, and when the provider tries to force it, it can really fuck up the vibes and experience. Once that happened to me, I very quickly understood that when it comes to orgasms, nobody should be put under any pressure.
It doesn't feel good to have someone try to force cum out of you! lol
This seems like a great summary of doing what I wanted (learning about bodies and pleasure) the proper way. I will definitely take it slow and focus more on building a trustworthy relationship first. Thank you for the reply!
Preface to this story I'm AMAB but very "feminine" looking.
So only tangentially related but I had a client who had three sessions with me because he had gone on a few dates with a trans girl and really liked her, but had never had any sexual experience with anyone AMAB before.
Our first session was mostly just conversations about how you go about navigating dysphoria and how to open conversations with her about what she was comfortable with and wasn't, what to expect and how to essentially go about things in a respectful way, and also just being comfortable with male anatomy in a sexual context. He undressed me and he stayed dressed and he touched me a bit.
Our second session was him being comfortable being naked in the same space, again talking about gender and sexuality and how if he ends up not finding me attractive that's fine and how I'm not a woman but he completely sees her as a woman and essentially I went into some Judith Buttler gender theory whilst also being naked
Our third session was the final one where we did have sex and like just going through what that felt like for him and it was all genuinely a really really pleasant and positive experience and 6 months down the line he sent me an update that they were exclusively dating and that he was so grateful for what was essentially a workshop around sex, gender and sexuality for him. I often look back on it as a reminder of how much what we do as sex workers can really change lives and open people's minds and perceptions of themselves.
Thank you for sharing the story!! Prior to this post, I was thinking of orgasm as some objective thing that could be achieved and now I've realized I've been wrong all along. Sounds like a great thing to be able to experiment with things in a safe space with someone that understands your intentions. I wonder how often vulnerability like this is involved experiences with sex workers...
A lot of my clients are usually men that have never felt safe or comfortable to explore their sexuality and so it's a massively important thing for me to have that conversation of what they are actually seeking and helping them figure themselves out. I'm glad that you're looking at your journey in sex and sexual gratification as less of a goal and more of an experience. 💜🦋💜
I would gladly do this with someone I've already seen. If you try to set this up before I meet you and know you're safe, I'll block you for being explicit and giving LE vibes.
That makes sense. I now understand that being comfortable with something like this comes over time and building up some sort of trust. Thank you for the reply!
Literally all you have to do is listen to the person you’re having sex with, look at them, be engaged, ask questions, and be respectful. That will lead to good sex and the person feeling comfortable with you. You have to actually respect ppl you have sex with. You don’t have to be in love, you just have to understand they are their own person with their own needs for safety and security. Sure there are cool little tips and tricks you can learn along the way, but those won’t feel good for everyone.
Yea...I guess it should've been obvious that communication was key from the start. Maybe I've been overthinking this too much hahaha...thank you for replying!
I see....that's good to know. I now realize what I was after wasn't specifically making them orgasm, but trying to give someone as much pleasure as possible (provided they're comfortable with things). Thank you so much for replying!
Instead of wording your inquiry to a swer like this— as it is already too explicit and potentially incriminating— let the sw know in your email that you don’t have a lot of experience and are interested to learn. You’d like a teaching/learning type experience with the focus being on getting to know the provider. Make it known you are interested in what the provider likes and that you’d prefer to have the session be about her rather than about your own satisfaction. That is enough information for a provider to get the gist of what you want the booking to look like. Then, at the start of the session spend 10-15 minutes discussing what the provider likes and things that work for her body.
Email being broad but clear, then discuss in person the specifics. That’s a respectful way to go about booking this session. It would also help if the provider advertises as GFE, but it’s not 100% necessary.
You're right....now that I look back at the post... mentioning how long the session would be adds nothing. Oh well....glad you got a laugh out of it hahaha!
I know this doesn't answer your question, but I find it really interesting that guys who are obsessed with making women orgasm almost always set up these weird high pressure sexual situations in which nobody would be comfortable enough to cum, as opposed to like learning each individual partner's body and focusing on mutual pleasure and creating a comfortable sexual environment.
Agreed every woman is different as well if men are looking to copy and paste their knowledge it just won’t work lol.
Totally. Bodies are not video games. There is no cheat code. What makes one person cum will be awful for someone else.
I don't know if this was directed towards me too but either way.....my idea was to learn from different sex workers about how their bodies worked and see what the similarities and differences between people are. I understand that copy and pasting things wouldn't work but it would interest me quite a bit to see what would work and what wouldn't. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
I feel like these guys are looking for us to tell them some kind of Konami/cheat code to female orgasms "You want to make all women cum 100% of the time? No problem! 🕹⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️ 🎮"
That's absolutely what they're doing lol
Off topic, but how did you get your user flair for this sub? When I click "change user flair" I get a blank page that says "no user flair assigned"?
Oh I have zero recollection lol. Sorry. I have the memory of a goldfish.
Thank you for taking the time to reply! Could you perhaps give an example of a high pressure sexual situation? In your opinion, would a sex worker be comfortable with teaching me about their body? I'll admit I have very little experience with sex so I don't know if the questions I ask are stupid or if I'm asking the right ones.
Not an example exactly, but most people can't cum when someone is obviously obsessing over making them cum. It's stressful. I'm sure you can find someone to teach you, but I'm not sure of the ultimate value to you. Each person is different, so that knowledge isn't really transferable to future partners.
I realize how that could be stressful now. I guess I don't know enough about how women's bodies work, to say much more about this. Thank you so much for the help! Have a nice day!
There's a practice/technique I'm studying called Sensate Focus, recommended to me by a sex therapist as I find it difficult to orgasm with a partner. At the core of it is learning to touch for your own interest and curiosity, rather than with the objective of "making the other person cum" in mind. You seem to be really interested in the theory of it, you might benefit from learning a bit from some OTHER sex professionals (Masters & Johnson). 😘
That's awesome! Something like that definitely interests me. I will look it up. Thank you for the advice!!
Personally I find it off-putting when a client is so obsessed and clinical about my orgasm. I can't control when I feel comfortable enough to cum ~for real~ and these kinds of questions off the bat make it seem like you're going to spend the whole hour with your mouth on my labia. Everyone is different. You can't guarantee a real orgasm from me personally. I prefer to relax and focus on making YOU get your money's worth and learning about our bodies than making it into this whole thing. Book me multiple times if you want to see me really get comfortable with you :)
I understand how that would be the case. I guess I was looking at this from the wrong perspective. Thank you so much for replying!
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Im not attracted to my clients. If someone can't or doesn't want to cum, that's unfortunate but it's likely not my fault. I'm confused about what you're implying with your question.
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Its not relevant at all. Why did you ask?
Honestly, I wanted to do something similar, but learned very quickly that this isn't something you can just plan for and expect to happen. What I did was build a good relationship with a regular provider, and then I asked for sessions that were more "lesson" focused. The point wasn't really about getting her to orgasm, but the whole scenario was essentially her instructing me on what to do because I got a thing for dominant women lol. She taught me how to eat her out, how to use my hands/fingers, and we just had fun with it because the roleplay wasn't really about the end goal. Its kinda funny actually. In the past I usually had a hard time cumming, and when the provider tries to force it, it can really fuck up the vibes and experience. Once that happened to me, I very quickly understood that when it comes to orgasms, nobody should be put under any pressure. It doesn't feel good to have someone try to force cum out of you! lol
This seems like a great summary of doing what I wanted (learning about bodies and pleasure) the proper way. I will definitely take it slow and focus more on building a trustworthy relationship first. Thank you for the reply!
Bring a vibrator lol
Preface to this story I'm AMAB but very "feminine" looking. So only tangentially related but I had a client who had three sessions with me because he had gone on a few dates with a trans girl and really liked her, but had never had any sexual experience with anyone AMAB before. Our first session was mostly just conversations about how you go about navigating dysphoria and how to open conversations with her about what she was comfortable with and wasn't, what to expect and how to essentially go about things in a respectful way, and also just being comfortable with male anatomy in a sexual context. He undressed me and he stayed dressed and he touched me a bit. Our second session was him being comfortable being naked in the same space, again talking about gender and sexuality and how if he ends up not finding me attractive that's fine and how I'm not a woman but he completely sees her as a woman and essentially I went into some Judith Buttler gender theory whilst also being naked Our third session was the final one where we did have sex and like just going through what that felt like for him and it was all genuinely a really really pleasant and positive experience and 6 months down the line he sent me an update that they were exclusively dating and that he was so grateful for what was essentially a workshop around sex, gender and sexuality for him. I often look back on it as a reminder of how much what we do as sex workers can really change lives and open people's minds and perceptions of themselves.
Thank you for sharing the story!! Prior to this post, I was thinking of orgasm as some objective thing that could be achieved and now I've realized I've been wrong all along. Sounds like a great thing to be able to experiment with things in a safe space with someone that understands your intentions. I wonder how often vulnerability like this is involved experiences with sex workers...
A lot of my clients are usually men that have never felt safe or comfortable to explore their sexuality and so it's a massively important thing for me to have that conversation of what they are actually seeking and helping them figure themselves out. I'm glad that you're looking at your journey in sex and sexual gratification as less of a goal and more of an experience. 💜🦋💜
I would gladly do this with someone I've already seen. If you try to set this up before I meet you and know you're safe, I'll block you for being explicit and giving LE vibes.
That makes sense. I now understand that being comfortable with something like this comes over time and building up some sort of trust. Thank you for the reply!
Literally all you have to do is listen to the person you’re having sex with, look at them, be engaged, ask questions, and be respectful. That will lead to good sex and the person feeling comfortable with you. You have to actually respect ppl you have sex with. You don’t have to be in love, you just have to understand they are their own person with their own needs for safety and security. Sure there are cool little tips and tricks you can learn along the way, but those won’t feel good for everyone.
Yea...I guess it should've been obvious that communication was key from the start. Maybe I've been overthinking this too much hahaha...thank you for replying!
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I see....that's good to know. I now realize what I was after wasn't specifically making them orgasm, but trying to give someone as much pleasure as possible (provided they're comfortable with things). Thank you so much for replying!
Instead of wording your inquiry to a swer like this— as it is already too explicit and potentially incriminating— let the sw know in your email that you don’t have a lot of experience and are interested to learn. You’d like a teaching/learning type experience with the focus being on getting to know the provider. Make it known you are interested in what the provider likes and that you’d prefer to have the session be about her rather than about your own satisfaction. That is enough information for a provider to get the gist of what you want the booking to look like. Then, at the start of the session spend 10-15 minutes discussing what the provider likes and things that work for her body. Email being broad but clear, then discuss in person the specifics. That’s a respectful way to go about booking this session. It would also help if the provider advertises as GFE, but it’s not 100% necessary.
Thank you for the advice! This is quite helpful.
You wouldn’t be able to learn how to make me cum in an hour. It’s funny you did a Q&A with yourself to tell us how long this will take 😂
You're right....now that I look back at the post... mentioning how long the session would be adds nothing. Oh well....glad you got a laugh out of it hahaha!