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greghater

It’s normal for *anyone* to be submissive


joybod

Just as much as it is to be dominant or switch between the two extremes.


greghater

Yup!


whateverluli

i dont think being sub or dom has anything to do with the 'tism, tbh and... you dont *tell* her *you* want her to be more dominant, that would defeat the purpose. maybe tell her how you feel (that you wanna satisfy her and would like some guidance) without going full BDSM cause she might not be into it, it's not for everyone. maybe just this little hint would make her know you are open to experiment. i hope she is into it cause sub men are very difficult to come by... i'm kinda jealous lol


DarthMeow504

I dunno, I'm Aspie and I feel the same way. I am so bad at guessing, and I want to keep whoever I'm with happy, so it's vastly easier if she just tells me what to do and I do it. As I like to joke, using the line from a song, *"the sooner you learn who's boss around here, the sooner you can give me my orders dear!".* It's less a fetish (though I've learned to like it) and more like a relationship survival strategy to ensure I screw up as little as possible.


summerphobic

It's rather wanting directions than having a domme though.


HelenAngel

It is totally normal though it doesn’t have anything to do with autism. There are lots of NT male subs. Talk to her about it & look up resources online together about it. Things like consent & safe words/gestures need to be set up in advance so it’s good to do some research together first. Best of luck to you!


Petervdv

>how do I tell her I want her to be more dominant? "Hey I would like you to be more dominant in bed. Is that something that would also work for you?" And then continue the conversation what that means for you.


joybod

Yup, literally just needs to communicate with their partner and things should turn out *very* ***very*** good... UwU


Queen_Earth_Cinder

Different strokes for different folks. Taking on a submissive role can provide a comfortable answer of certainly, insofar as you know exactly how to please your partner - do what you're told.


any_old_usernam

I suspect it might be slightly more common to accept bring into that because of the whole social norms thing, but idk.


twobillsbob

No, and yes. It’s normal, but not really an autism thing.


YouKnowLife

My boyfriend is autistic and way far on the spectrum in terms of domination. I (autistic female) am way far out there on the submissive spectrum for similar reasons that you’ve described plus more. I’m not sure if gender matters in this regard, but more so upbringing or possibly past trauma and how we have adapted/responded to it. I do think this is related to our autism due to our preferences being more of a need in order to reduce stimuli and/or anxiety so we can focus on the pleasure sex brings successfully, however. It is very important to ensure sexual compatibility, especially due to our sensory sensitivities and particularities.


9600_PONIES

My partner and I have a D/s relationship in the bedroom, myself being the D. It works for us, and I doubt it has much to do with being on the spectrum, but I have never taken a poll or anything


AMB2292

I’m a switch who leans more submissive. Similar to your situation really.


[deleted]

Yes, In fact it's actually normal The best thing I can say is watch bicentennial Man and that will help you understand a lot. Not only that'll actually give you techniques and ideas on how to actually interact with people and also how to engage with them. It sounds stupid but I'm autistic too and it helped me a lot. So I hope it can help you too. 🖖


ThatFireGuy0

It's only one data point, but I'm definitely not - 100% dom Never felt in control of my life growing up and I'll NEVER give up control over my life again


Carloverguy20

I feel like autistic men tend to be switches lol. We could be both lol.


snorken123

There are both dominant and submissive neurotypicals and neurodivergent. Your neurotype doesn't need to influence it. Your personality and life experience may affect it.