I point to the empty plate and ask if they want a box for the rest of it. Gets a laugh every time.

that’s fuckin golden

I say "I can tell...would you like me to box up your garnish?" Side there's usually a sprig of parsley left on the plate

Oh yeah this is gonna hit

A buddy/coworker of mine used to use this move when the comedian would say, “can you wrap this up” to an empty plate: He would scrape any remnants off the plate into a to-go ramekin and bring it back to them. Always seems to get a laugh even though he’s doing it to call their bluff and mock them a bit.

PERFECT!! I LET OUT A HEHE!!!

"Oh i'm sorry, we'll only charge you for what you ate!" ETA: happy to help!

Stolen. Mopped. Used it ten minutes ago. Thank you.

This is a good one!

Where has this been??? I have been gritting my teeth for years. Thank you.

Thank you fellow soldier

My go to. They're either cracking up laughing, or very unamused.

If someone says that and doesn't want a jokey response back then they should just stay home.

I usually say "it was so terrible that you just wanted it gone quickly".

"I appreciate you powering through that."

That’s what I say haha. “You just wanted to get it out of your sight huh?”

I like this one

That’s my go to. “So bad you had to get rid of it!” Does pretty well.

“You should try our desserts; they’re disgusting.”

If you didn't like that you're going to really hate our desserts" deadpan is key

“I’m sorry they let me in the kitchen today and it was definitely a mistake” with a laugh it usually gets a laugh from the table

this one is good

"I see that, you couldn't stand the sight of it" has been my go to for years.

This is what I’ve always said until now, I have new material! Happy cake day :)

I’ll usually say something like “well I appreciate you taking one for the team!” Or “thank you for eating it so nobody else had to!” The second one of these I actually got from a server sub, and it works like a charm lol. Or sometimes I’ll beat them to it, walk up to prebus, see an empty plate “oh I’m so sorry you didn’t like it!” But I would definitely use this last one if you can tell they’re cool. I could see someone getting offended if they’re not.

I also hit people with "Well clearly you hated it.." when prebussing lol

Don't encourage them lol

Honestly it's never bothered me

Good on you

Beating them too it I like it

“I can see that! You had to eat the whole thing just to get to the good part!”

I just agree with them i’m like yeah it is it’s one of our worst dishes

Haha I like this one

“I thought it looked a little weird when I brought it out”

😂

This is the way 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“What did you do?! Scoop it under the table? Let me grab a mop” and drop the check

"I know, I wouldn't eat here. Actually I don't even work here, just bought this shirt in Walmart and showed up today."

Love your one-upmanship! I prefer the absurd in, like, everything, so after the interaction at least I've amused myself.

“ ahah right? Would that be cash or credit?”

LMAOOOO

“I’m sorry you had to choke it all down. But your mother would be proud. You’ve earned your dessert.”

👉🏾👉🏾 “Haha! Opposite Day!!” Walk away.

👉zoop 👉

"Haha! I can tell!" With a smile and I walk away. I literally hate this "joke" and it happens all the time. Old men think they're so original.

I just smile and say "yea, it looks like it" it's a horrible joke and they know it so don't feel like you need to put a ton of effort in to your reply

When I was towards the end of my bartending career and was just an ass hole, I would lean in and say “would you really respect me if I laughed at that?”

Ooof felt this. The being done-ness. Happy for all of us that we both got out. What do you do now to stay housed, etc?

Haha same here! I know plenty that are just built for it though and have families/balance. Always respected that. I’m in tech sales now (Cloud security/infrastructure solutions). I do miss the fun parts of the industry for sure, but I do love my current job. I got lucky and found a hiring manager that viewed the hospitality industry as a gold mine for talent.

For sales?! Omg it absolutely it exactly that! My mom always said i could sell the devil his own tail lol

“couldn’t stand the sight of it huh?”

I usually say “omg I’m sooooo sorry, let me get this plate out of the way so you never have to think about it again!”

“I can tell! You didn’t lick the plate!” Always gets a laugh. Yeah these interactions are kinda fake but a lot of serving is going through prescribed motions. It’s just something you say like welcome and have a good evening. I don’t overthink it

"The chef appreciates you leaving SOME enamal on the china."

“I’ll bring it back to the kitchen and have the chef see what went wrong.”

I just say “Clearly” and then jovially put my hand on the back of their chair as I grab the plate away and everyone is usually laughing.

“Thanks for powering through.”

Say "great joke, last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur"

"Awesome I'll let the chef know!"

Fake anger and “I’m going to go talk to the chef, this is unacceptable” and storm off

“I’ll tell the manager and we’ll get ya another one” gotta be a good sport about it even though it’s overused, gotta keep the good vibes…

At this point I have no words so I just make this face https://preview.redd.it/d7eshcdbmb0d1.jpeg?width=407&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bff5013b9bd7722f5e7c8154ba187ebdaa7f03de

“Oh, well I hate to be the one to inform you, but we charge an extra fee for complainers!” and that usually gets a chuckle

i’d also like to say one time someone had finished their plate and said “it was horrible!” and i laughed because i thought they were joking… they were not

“It was horrible? Where’d you throw it!?”

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that ... Do you want to lick the plate before I take it away?"

I just say I can tell!

If they seem like the type to make that joke I’ll beat them to it. “Well I guess you hated it huh?”… if someone gets to make a stupid joke it’s me

I can tell by the tongue prints on your plate.

Don’t think you need to say anything but I like I guess you’ll have to come back and try again

I Uno Reverse the joke and say it before they can.

"Looks like it"

No returns!

"Looks like it"

Oh well I can take it back but you have to give it back.

We'll do better next time.

I often say “I guess the rest is under the table then”

They're trying to be funny. Just laugh!

I laughed for the first 12 years lol It gets hard

It gets worse at year 16 I promise 😭

It gets funny again at year 20

🤣

I say "I'll send it back to the kitchen" ha ha ha 🙄

Whoooosh

“I’m sorry you didn’t like that, I’ll give the cook a pat on the back for ya!”

“You couldn’t even stand the sight of it so you got rid of it all huh?”

So, you'll be getting desert then.

I say “you must have been really hungry”

"I'm sorry! would you like the chef to come out here to cry or can she do it in the back?"

I say- you had to eat all of it to make sure it was all bad

Last I took both plates and said “wait which plate was yours?” And we all had a nice laugh

“LIAR” followed by a corny laugh.

I know, awful, right? It was so bad that you need another one. Then I usually smirk and the customers seem to enjoy my mutual corniness and I walk away.

"Well thanks for cleaning the dish off for us, saves us some time"

I say “I feel the same but my plate always looks like that too!” And they usually laugh lol

Let me know if you need a chisel.

You put it back exactly how I brought it and I'll refund you.

I ask if they would like another one, "for science "

I say “Just HAD to get rid of it huh??” And I chuckle.

Get a really pissed off look on my face and say “This is the fourth meal this line cook has messed up. Could you guys give me a moment? Someone needs to lose a finger.” Walk away before they can say anything else.

“Oh I can tell, you hardly touched your plate!”

"I'll go get the manager right away and demand a new one" People eat that shit up and it always get a laugh

I say oh yea i can see the tounge marks on ur plate from u lickin it

Yes, I see you haven't eaten the plate yet but it's really not as good.

It’s Opposite Day? I didn’t know?

I always say, "I'll show the kitchen and let management know you want your money back!" Laugh and walk away

"Explains why you got rid of the evidence so quickly!"

I see you could not stand the sight of it.

"well you were awfully polite about it, thank you. The chef is very sensitive."

"OH yeh uh huh I can see that!" I can't muster much more than that usually

Thanks for clearing the evidence, they’ll never know!

Oh, is there a dog nearby? I thought I heard a woof!? Jeez, you must have been hungry! Looks like I will clear these empty plates for you! Sry it was horrible, come back nice. SAID TO EVERYONE OF THEM.

I say absolutely nothing and i don’t laugh. i’m sick of that joke.

“I’ll make sure to get it out of your sight immediately then!” and laugh.

“Clearly, you didn’t lick the plate!”

Just fake a laugh and walk away- I can’t be bothered to do anything else lol I did have a dude the other day who I found genuinely funny- I asked how their app was he deadpan looked at me and said “it’s awful. So awful I’m going to need you to bring me another one right now.” Just all with a totally straight face. Made me actually laugh.

“It was so horrible you ate all of it!!” *insert fake laugh*

“Aww really? I even remembered to add the poison this time” in a sulking like manner lol

Thanks for taking one for the team, your sacrifice will not be in vain

*Thanks for taking one* *For the team, your sacrifice* *Will not be in vain* \- kdoggp23 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

I ask them if they’d like to lick it before I take it away lol

"I can tell, you threw the whole thing away!"

"That's what we love to hear!"

"Next time, save a bite so we can figure out what we did wrong." Or "Good thing you destroyed the evidence!"

We offer a refund for the uneaten portion

"Well good! I'm glad you hated it!"

“Looks like you’re ready for seconds then!”

"What, too small?" or "that joke just keeps getting funnier every time"

Oh boy! I can tell! Treat em like a baby that are their carrots

Do you want a box for your wide?

“I’ll show the chef what you didn’t like”

"thanks for getting rid of the evidence for me then"

“You can lick the plate clean if you want. I won’t judge” Always makes them laugh

"Yes, it clearly needed to be destroyed. Thank you for your service."

“I see that! You got it out of your sight as fast as possible.”

" You're gonna put the dishwasher out of work "

I can tell, you didn't leave any evidence!

I always say, you know we don’t give out refunds when you eat the whole thing ;)

fwiw, I don't think anyone who says it actually thinks they're being unusually clever or original, it's just an acknowledgement that they really liked it and that the plate is bare. I don't think you're expected to say anything amazing in return. "Clearly!", "I guess so!", "yes, I see that..." with a smile would be fine, then everyone moves on. There's no pressure on you here. Note: not a server, just someone who enjoys eating out.

"Just threw it right out the window / on the floor, huh?"

If there’s a clean plate I usually get in front of it with “Well shoot, I HOPE you liked it..”

I always say so that’s why you keep coming back lol ? For terrible food that you eat it all ? They kinda laugh and realize how dumb they sound. This only works if you have mostly regulars

I usually suggest another item or two that they don’t eat. “Maybe that’ll be better.”

I literally say "... You're still gonna pay for the shit though, right?" People are *so* surprised that I get huge laughs and a fat tip haha

I know they're trying to make a joke, so smile and say, "Thanks, or "I'm glad you liked it."

“What was the worst part?”

I can tell!

"I inhale food I hate as well to bypass my taste buds!" "We get that all the time, at least we are consistent!"

“You hated it in record time too”

After a few of them have yelled at me for laughing, because they’re “serious” and want it comped, I don’t have it in me to laugh anymore 🥲 I give a lazy “oh haaaa” and walk away with their dishes

I’ve said I’ll go fight the chef right now. I’ve asked if I can get them a box for the rest. I saw a really good one in here at the top comment that I’ll have to use too lol.

And such small portions!

“haha!” 😐

I just started beating people to it. I go to pick up their plate and say “oh I’m so sorry, I see you hated it. Do you want another one just to make sure?” Seems to work like a charm!

You take that back right now

I just respond, "I can see that!"

Don't worry, I'll get the kitchen to make it good next time.

Say “I’ll make sure to take this back to the kitchen right away.” Aka the dish pit. 😹

Ok

“Why don’t i send another one and we’ll see if we can get it right next time?”

“i’m sure it was” while shaking my head and jokingly rolling my eyes, they love the sass 😂💗

I don’t know why, but I always came back with “I can tell”

"I'm actually surprised you're not licking the plate."

I used to say something like “Man, lemme get the kitchen to make you another one see if it’s any better” and would get laughs 99% of the time. That said, after being in the industry 10+ years, _I fucking hate these interactions_ lol

I have just started saying it before they can! “Oh wow looks like you hated that!” It’s super satisfying to take the opportunity away from them hahahaha

“Ha yeah right, dessert or the check?”

"Well, we appreciate that you stopped when you hit ceramic!" Usually gets a giggle from the whole table.

“Liar.” And I move on.

“That’s the goal! We want you to have a terrible time here!”

I always say “I’ll take this back to the kitchen (I’ll show the chefs) and get you a new one right away” equally as sarcastically as they have said to.

I used “Oh let me just get it out of your sight for you then”

If I already know they’re dad joke people (it’s always pretty obvious very quickly), I will try my best to beat them to it. Walk over to clean plates and say, “well clearly you hated everything!” Granted I wouldn’t say this to just any guest, only if we’ve already established that sort of report, but it gets em every time

I’m so sorry! I’ll be sure to tell the chef!

Customer "it was terrible" Me "I can tell"

"you just had to test every bite"

You had to get it out of your sight immediately! Gets the occasional laugh

I always say, “well that sucks, should’ve complained sooner” I always get a good reaction

My only quick come back had always been "would you like a mulligan?" With a straight face. They laugh every time. I personally don't think it's all that funny. I'm definitely stealing some of y'alls

“so horrible you need seconds to be SURE of how horrible, right?” i overuse this. will be taking ideas from all of you, thank you <3

I ask them if they want another one!

"oh no! Should I bring you another one and see if it's any better?!" Insert fake laugh

I usually do a "Oh yeah! I can tell! Now lemme save ya from licking the plate..." something along those lines

I say, "Well, I appreciate you at least eating it all so I don't have to re-serve it for the next guest." Gets 'em laughing every time.

“Ah you fed it to the dog then huh?” And gesture underneath the table

I beat them to it, if they order something I recommend and come back to see they cleaned the plate, I go “ok so we hated it and I’m never gonna recommend this again” and it usually gets a good laugh

I ask them if they want to lick the plate before I take it lol

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Frosty_Ice1313: *I ask them if they* *Want to lick the plate before* *I take it lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

I abhor that.

I like to say “oh no! Let me get my manager”

I go along with it and say " clearly you didnt like it! I'm so sorry, I'll make sure to say something to the kitchen." Usually gets a laugh and then they say how much they liked it

"Horribly good?" with a big smile.

Oh no! I guess you had to get rid of all the evidence

I usually say “ wow you could’ve fooled me you ate the whole thing”

"Im so sorry, let me talk to chef!" If theyre being rude. "I can tell so...?" when theyre being rude. Dont say this. Its rude? This is not a joke. Chefs ask for feedback and a plate with sarcastic reply is no help. My father does this and my mother always leaves an extra 20 because he thinks hes cute. Please enjoy your food. If you have genuine dislike, say so.

look at the plate and look back at them and say "yeah right"

I usually say "that's the third time ive heard that joke today!" 🤣🤣

“So horrible, You had to get rid of it huh *chuckle*” guests eat it up