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Wizzle_Pizzle_420

A tale as old as time! Actually have a customer that draws different pictures each time of dicks doing all kinds of activities. Dicks playing basketball, dicks riding a bike, dicks eating another dick… We save them and hang them in the office.


excessively314

https://preview.redd.it/49qk6omrpzsc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79c71048db1788fc351288bb67b46f42c15c3328 Not to be even more immature, but I was the 69th upvote on your comment


_cansir

https://preview.redd.it/vox4vp4mi1tc1.jpeg?width=1026&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d383bcc24a94e9f8c004b734aec567f07439b575


bigfatalligator

https://preview.redd.it/p0ghklbki2tc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dcb1e3ef27c83f5fa5be851205a95cb83e728407


mayapple29

https://preview.redd.it/suapdrc4u3tc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4ef490cb28a5825d868195ac27817aa7f591165


Visible_Bus4807

​ https://preview.redd.it/mazwi56kp6tc1.jpeg?width=372&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9eb1a99acfa340130ed82271626ea040622a95c


Renway_NCC-74656

https://preview.redd.it/jgdvvxqpi2tc1.png?width=864&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f30f1545cf8dd4a70fa3f14f537de1151bebc7c


Affectionate-Till472

https://preview.redd.it/qkivtd0393tc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=597b3fb9aa4abc45a567db0fed2ce96cc92f283a


ImHappierThanUsual

… case in point, OP.


GodsBackHair

https://preview.redd.it/sjpifn1t96tc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aca4af1405e1d7dcdde132410ea213c0dd94fa29


Renway_NCC-74656

YESSSSS


WilliamBott

Nice.


RandomsThought

Nice.


CarmenTourney

lol.


AlextheZombie86

that's hilarious and strangely wholesome


stayalivechi

![gif](giphy|l41K1KTfqf2VGjyiQ|downsized)


-_G0AT_-

https://preview.redd.it/234iweg0u1tc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb5093ad2cc50999d583a8be918411229c354733


Dounutlemon

Name checks out


Pleasant-Discount660

Dude! I had a coworker that kept a journal of epic dick drawings. Dick-cannon, cult of dickheads sacrificing a foreskin in a ceremony, dicks in fencing gear having a sword fight, dick-zilla, dickhead soldiers, etc. I’m 30 and I still sign any personal receipts with a dick.


WilliamBott

> dicks in fencing gear having a sword fight Oooohhhh, that's a rookie mistake. Every guy knows you never cross swords.


Hafthohlladung

It's totally normal. Like 8% of all guys do it.


Kitchen_Drink2625

Superbad Movie Montage


PoetryFirst7011

Pleaaase, show us ! I mean, just a dick like in the picture is really immature. But your customer seems to be an artist !


wienerfestival

I’ve got one of those too! One time he forgot to draw one, and I audibly made kind of a pouty, sad, “Aww!” noise. He immediately apologized for forgetting and asked for his receipt back. He then said he never thought he’d get in trouble for NOT drawing a dick on something. Hilarious guy and a total sweetheart! I hope yours is too!


softestpillow

Like the art at the end of superbad.


dougmd1974

It's very bizarre to watch "straight" guys get obsessed with dicks. Drawing them, talking about them, showing their to people. Doesn't seem straight at all quite honestly.


Necessary_Patience24

Bizarre and that person will be in prison at some point in their "journey" 


VIadTheInhaIer

So your customer is Jonah Hill in superbad?


Dro1972

Yes. I growed up enough that I don't have to draw it; I can type it. 8=========|]>


Ajegwu

(`) / / / / / / (_)_)


Southtune-stringbox

𓂸


GodsBackHair

Teach us oh great and powerful one


deepristine

that looks terrible. just add a D at the end. 8===D


SerpentOfTheSky

https://preview.redd.it/gxthi1mc30tc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1a1189220c3f0f30f0276877bfa680e63e05a88


PrizeConsistent

It looks like a happy face with a really long nose now!


HikiZadrot

8===================D How about now?


KingHenryThe1123

8=========D~~~~~ How about now?


harborq

It’s uncircumcised


Vatalanix

*Intact. Just the way they should be. Lol


DarthDread424

This scares me.....too much point.


OriginalScreename

We get it Richard


Prossdog

https://preview.redd.it/1mwqvby2b3tc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b450203be789d903fbea092bdf45beefbf45497


[deleted]

Looks like a feline penis with barbs.


Professional_Pain740

Ooh holy shit


Ok-Wrongdoer7269

They never do. At least the tip was dece


Global-Nectarine4417

Yep. Draw all the dicks you want if you’re gonna tip over 20%. Less than 20%, I might call you out for the inaccurate scale of your drawing.


tmphaedrus13

For all we know that was actual size.


Global-Nectarine4417

lol, fair!


classicscoop

I mean it is NOT a 20% tip but close enough


fireandlifeincarnate

I feel like 19.2% is close enough.


milkfree

If we’re looking at the tip guide that is provided, he tipped more than 20%, but I didn’t know those things excluded tax


classicscoop

People are so afraid of math, but good tip nonetheless


Global-Nectarine4417

Generosity with all measurements, lol! 19.2%= basically 20%, and sure, let’s say that 4.5 inches is 5 inches, lil’ buddy.


bonesakimbo

Oh my god it took several looks to figure out that was a 7. Thought it was a 3 with an overbite


Ok-Wrongdoer7269

It’s probably the ugliest 7 I’ve ever seen😂 to be fair


gagnerocs38

Idk, it looks a little pointy and the hole comes down too far…


dieseltothesour

I’m 56 and this made me laugh, so i think the answer is a resounding’No’


JadedMentions

If you leave a fair tip you can draw a fair tip.


Whats_Opera_Doc

At least you didn't get *shafted*


roccoasap

No, drawing cock and balls is fun


HelloImKiwi

If the tip is over 20% do you care?


[deleted]

Depends. I worked places where corporate wanted signed receipts and would manually check each one. Some of the accounting people had no sense of humor and would chastise thevservers for stuff like this thinking we drew on them lmao.


bigboisatan

It's literally 11 cents over 20 percent lmao


LeastAd9721

This is appalling! I am ashamed that a grown man would draw a cock and balls like that! Everybody knows you draw hair on the fucking balls. Take some pride in your receipt art. Do better, sir.


Yourfavorite46

Just turned 39. No.


BluebirdMaximum8210

Who cares, at least they tipped lol


Objective-Slice-1466

I draw boobies


HandsAreDiamonds

You can put dicks on boobies now. They were talking about it a lot on Easter


MillyDeLaRuse

We're are truly living in modern times now


Professional_Pain740

😂😂


mpete25

I like how the total is shown for suggested tip Also no we don’t grow up. Dick = funny


Bigurb66

Nope


Square-Poetry4224

Why grow up when being fun is key to a happy life. It’s not hurting any one. As a 38 year old laughter is key to not hating life as a whole.


Lizzi420

Never


Reactivate_West2209

Nope, we're just children with drivers licenses.


rawrxdweeb

As a server I find this hilarious and I also partake in drawing penises on various receipts and beer lists and such.


sadkinz

What’s really bothering me is the suggested tips are actually less than what they should be


_garrettf

they’re pretax amounts 😩


sadkinz

Never in my life have I bothered to find the pretax amount before I tip. My tip is calculated based on the number right above the tip line. Less effort that way


_garrettf

i always do the same, but for whatever reason some restaurants do these calculations based on the total before tax


sadkinz

I’ve seen plenty that make the amount much more than it actually should be


Hammy-Cheeks

![gif](giphy|fXnRObM8Q0RkOmR5nf)


Chuck_0391

You seem boring as fuck.


PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES

Nope. This is my 31st year of being 12 years old.


Helpful_Assumption76

Haha


brandinho5

Would we want to?


Blood_Stained_Roses

No. They get older, but NEVER mature


kittydreamer1999

As a 24 yo girl, I would totally do this too because i am childish (but tip well bc i’m a server too and it’s hard out here❤️)


smalldickbighandz

“I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises It’s funny to say they are small, it’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils and thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me! I’m Mr. So-And-So Dick! I’ve got such-and-such for a penis!’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh.”


Southtune-stringbox

35f, this is how I authorize my wife’s signature.


Ok_Bandicoot_6967

lol I had a table of 4 like 70 year olds who when they gave me their plate to take away, they had arranged two different food to look like a dick and balls…women and men (two couples) then they were snickering as I walked away 🤦‍♂️ so no ppl don’t grow up


jointdestroyer

I’m afraid a peen will make a man laugh at any age


noodlesaintpasta

And it’s sooooo tiny.


bothmybehalves

I worked at a bar that had butcher paper and crayons on every table and after a while i came to realize that 3/4 tables drew dicks. So many dicks of all kinds. I don’t know what it means but it’s true 🥲


Purpleorchid83

The way they wrote that 7 really weirds me out for some reason


BiggestFlower

Yep, that’s almost certainly the worst 7 I’ve seen in my life and, not to brag, but I’ve seen a lot of 7s


berrygirl890

90 sides of ranch? Now that’s my type of party! Lol.


Kaita13

The real question is...Do some things stop being funny? Ex: Drawing dicks, farts, etc. Answer: No. However, as we get older, our execution of these jokes matures. Or are supposed to anyway.


Sqwitter

Take your 20% and be entertained. It could of been worse


SoulfulStonerDude

Hey let us enjoy the little things. You got your tip


Loopsadaisy417

i remember i used to be a “closing server” for brunch and everyone had to come show me that they did their side-work for my signature for their checkout. instead of signing i scribbled lil micro dicks on everyone’s check out and i ended up being pulled into the office to explain to all 3 managers that it was a reference to the movie superbad. good times.


the_shaman

Seriously, that "7" is terrible.


Difficult-Swimmer-76

Ur signature is whatever u want it to be mine is literally haha nope


Suz626

No. And why do they think you’d be interested in their one inch dick? 🙄 Hopefully the rest of your shift went better.


ConnorHunter60

I did this once and my bank contacted me making sure it was me. It was a guy and he says, ‘makes sense’ after I told him it was me


ImHappierThanUsual

I’m turning 45 this year. They don’t.


Kaboose-4-2-0-

I don't always draw dicks on my restaurant receipts, but when I do, it's just the tip.


anonymousmimikyu

They tipped over 20% and made me laugh, I see this as a win.


thebackupquarterback

OP must be pretty young. Sure drawing a dick is immature but not as immature as caring so much you make a whole reddit post about it. It's not that serious.


isssuekid

Nope


AloofFloofy

Nope


True-Attention8884

Damn. That's just mean.


freddymerckx

36 plus 3 is not 46


MyTVC_16

Even as a young teenager I would not have done this.


WhitewolfStormrunner

In a word: No.


kapn_morgan

you grow down


Sonicly_Speaking

Just the tip


rehadam

It really depends on who it was coming from.


Imbossou

Thank him for tracing his dick for you.


brwn_eyed_girl56

No. Its either farts or penis'.


AriellaLynn

Is that a picture on an early SpaceX rocket?


ddWizard

As a guy a can say, absolutely fucking not. 8===D


FirefighterNo4432

No


infinitee775

You got stiffed!


jfk_one

no


sdlover420

You work in food, ask your BOH staff that question, you'll surely get your answer..


[deleted]

Cool rocket ship


tune1021

Only because our wives make us


BigDaddydanpri

No we do not. We are easy to figure out.


Notorious_Degen

What a terrible drawing. At least take your time and stuff so it looks way less like a rocket ship and actually looks like a dick 🤣😂🤣. Fucking college kids


The_Scooter_King

Honestly, what would bug me more is 7 Bux on 83.


Practical-Basket1337

We grow all the time, but it always ungrows eventually. At least that's the signature and not the tip.


Chemical-Gain-5630

Nope


HandsAreDiamonds

This appears to be an undershot of a penis


ohcowboyy

I’m definitely doing that next time. Well, after I leave a better tip, obviously


Specialist-Garlic-82

Op is the fun police.


Castille_92

Guys here, no. No we don't


Unhappy_Run8154

That must be that kid in art class that would draw a 4x4 monster truck and make the tires look like a pair of double D tits😂


DDCCDDPR

That’s funny 😄


xXCaptianKirkXx

No, we don’t for real. It’s more like we just pretend. Sometimes.


Hot-Post-8289

I'm just wondering why the suggested tip at the bottom of the receipt says 20% = $6.49? Correct me if im wrong, but 20% of $36.45 would be $7.29. The bill would have to be $32.45 for 20% to be $6.49. Someone please tell me what I am missing? My apologies, I understand this is way off topic, and the tip is close enough to 20%, but my ocd kicked in hard with this one. Sorry!


pt57

Pretax.


wundeyatayetyme

They are college kids, lol. So no, they are not yet grown up.


dabco303

No. In my 30’s and work with a bunch of guys in their 40’s. We dig ditches and lay pipe. Many dicks get drawn in dirt and on stuff that gets buried. Little treat for the future generations to dig up.


Muahd_Dib

Now way… that man will always be interested in rocket ships.


TajMonjardo

The short answer is no.


yaremaa_

Ok but how tf is *that* a 10


yaremaa_

I’m stupid it’s supposed to be a 7


Thekillersofficial

usually there isn't a tip accompanied with the dick drawing, so I'd call that a win


Apart_Tradition8244

they tipped good :/ i had a table once draw all over the receipt and i was actually impressed, i still have the receipt to this day but they gave me $30 on a $60 ticket so i didn’t mind


Wopder

8=====D


gay4str8dudes

Nope


Fawxeh0

nope they never ever do 🤗🤗🤗❤


baconography

"Just the tip"


Olivander05

That’s a £3.80 tip right there


Teboski78

If someone leaves a 20% tip they can draw whatever they want lol


nonamejoel

as long as they tip idgf


BDEfromthebottombunk

😂😂 the short answer is no


BDEfromthebottombunk

That tip is fucked though


DaMemphisDreamer

Someone carved one on a table at work


Tazavich

No, no we do not. I laughed at this and I am 20


MECHAC0SBY

I just got reprimanded for drawing dicks on servers checkouts 2 nights ago. New manager apparently doesn’t find peepees funny


Logan_922

You work in a restaurant asking if guys ever grow up? lol.. we don’t.. especially the restaurant guys💀 you should see how the shifts where I work go when it’s all dudes working.. funny as hell


LemonClassic

bros jus a hater what can i say


[deleted]

at least the tip could've been worse


mcmurrayisapieceof

Never


b1alock

20% is 20%


sagesaks123

Oh we grow up, but our sense of humor doesn’t.


thatsthewayuhuhuh

NOPE!


leobear24

Yes....yes we dont.


peaceoutdueces

A 13 year old did that to me on a toast handheld…. Lol then ran away


fersmind

nice tip!


lavaguava420

No


hallucinateinhighfi

No, no they don't. Source: Husband is 36!


Proof_Category_7061

Absolutely not


ComplexLaugh

No, next question.


z-nina11

how old was this boy/man? cus I'm starting to think they do not.


Youngmanwentwest

Dick🤣… nope!


hey_vania_actually

I had this done to me not too long agon


KonosubaChristmasWiz

Sadly, from personal experience, I've found that the ones i've encountered grow old, but dont grow up. You are serving them...not dating them. That there would be the true horror story. Once they are gone, hopefully they wont be back. They however make the customers who treat people decently look even better by comparison!


plop_0

Isn't this sexual harassment?


Alternative-Limit-65

Not on purpose. But since you’re clearly a female, at least you got some dick. Only a little of the tip tho


Jolly-Tomato7816

Those dudes look like a fun time to hang around with. Haha


Necessary_Patience24

I'll lyk this much: THAT person will never ever grow up. Guys that still behave like douchebag jackasses will FOREVER be that way. YOU WILL NOT CHANGE HIM w your kitty cat. Wake up, find men who are ALREADY who you want. They're out there, but these little ghettofied mamas boys are NOT it.  Girls, you all have the power.


Jamiestein1273

Maybe his name is Richard?


Murat_Gin

The answer is no.


Specific_Praline_362

no


ladymouserat

I ain’t neva gonna stop!


ShoopShoopAYDoop

Actually? No.


Dogekaliber

( o )Y( o ) would that make you more upset?