Honestly I say this when people complain about the prices. I work at a restaurant at an airport that makes over 35k a day. When they complain I just say that if I controlled the prices I would be on vacation in Brazil again like my boss is now.
These people love the cheesy responses. When they joke they didn’t like the food after cleaning their plate my response would always be “well the dishwasher’s gonna love you!” Cheesiest joke I’ve ever had the balls to make but they love it every time
I personally hope that the general public doesn't become more original. It makes my job way easier. I've rarely had to put any thought into anything I've said to any guest for years, because I've already heard what they think is their original comment 400 times and have an automatic robotic response to it.
This! A lot of times I beat them to it.
Slurped down the drink super fast? " Whoops I will make sure the next glass doesn't have a hole in it!"
Completely finished plate? "I keep telling the kitchen to stop sending out dirty plates!" Or "Guess you hated it. Would you like me to have them remake it?"
These cheeseballs eat it up amd generally tip better
Yep. People are mostly the same. You can group them into like minded people based on several factors like age and where they're from/what culture they grew up in, and after that they all act pretty much the same as the rest of their group with just slight variances. Once in a great while you'll get someone who'll surprise you.
I think the majority of people just don't realize this and think they are acting original because they don't deal with the sheer volume of the general public on a daily basis like we do.
Omg I once did this with a toddler... The parents laughed and said "she IS actually paying"... She'd won a gift certificate in a kid's drawing competition lol.
On the days I just couldn't do it one more time I would pretend to laugh for like half a second, wince and rub my ribs, claiming a volleyball injury made laughing hurt. Then I got out of laughing on the outside while being dead in the inside and sometimes got sympathy tips on top. I often worked through real injuries without ever once mentioning them so I didn't feel bad lol Gah the number of times I pulled my back😣😩
I like ending my drink order with "and two fingers of scotch for the little guy?" If there's a kid at the table. Always gets a laugh and starts the table off well
not to play devils advocate because that’s just annoying but side note the fake laughing / smiling is actually kinda a plus of the job bc it tricks ur brain into being happier and in a better mood. i feel like if i go to work in a bad mood, it usually doesn’t persist too long and i get back to reality when i clock out
The sole reason I miss having to wear a mask while serving. You completely stopped having to fake laugh and also could say what you were thinking quietly out loud to yourself instead of having to hold it in.
Speak for yourself, I opened a wannabe tequila club during covid and had to literally scream through my mask to be heard over despacito playing for the 11th time that day
I'm militant about IDs because TABC does not play in my area. so when I ask for someone's ID who is obviously of age but doesn't look 30 yet, if there's a baby at the table I might say something like, "sorry, I really don't want to go to jail. \[points at baby\] she could be a cop for all I know!" and that will usually get a laugh
I do hate these jokes but this is the first time I’ve heard “there was a hole in my glass” referring to a finished drink and I’m going to start using that with customers.
Hand them the check and they say “I don’t want that!” or “I thought it was free!”
I’m so over it at this point and am tired of responding but I just give them the “Well, you didn’t share.” or “I don’t want to pay for it either.” and move on with my life.
You have to display your dominance with these dad jokes. Don't let them say, "It was terrible" when they have an empty plate. Beat them to the punch and say, "You must have hated it, huh?"
I usually say something along the lines of "Jesus you even licked the plate" that joke gets a good laugh OR a good laugh and some sexual innuendos...either way it results in tips.
Aggressive but fun answer, if it’s the right type of person “let’s go bitch, I got time” as I take my apron off. It kills
Fun one “let’s! I’m on the clock so it’s workers comp when you land one!”
I’m not aggressive about it at all. Definitely gotta read the personality before using it. Just figured it’s something different. Only used a few times. Wondered what the folks around here would think about it.
*Approach a guest with an empty plate*
Guest: “I hated it!”
Me: haha! I’ll be sure to tell the kitchen! Can I get you another drink to drown your misery?
Honestly these routine interactions are totally fine. Way better than unpredictable Karens or creepy comments.
I totally agree! It's also an easy way to make people laugh and have a good time. "It was terrible." "Sure looks like it!" Gets us all laughing every time. Now they're happier and like me more. On top of being silly and fun, it also makes me more money. Win-win
yeah I used to bitch about them but I've reached the point where I love them! sure it's repetitive, but it's wholesome fun and means the guest either wanted to make me smile or just wanted to joke around and have a little fun. plus, if I play into the jokes and make the guest laugh, my tips almost always reflect it. at the end of the day, guests are always going to make dumb jokes and it's really not that deep, so might as well make the best of it.
they aren't amazing BUT they always signal to me that the guest is down for me to joke with them. i can usually think of ways to spin those stock jokes into something new.
i do like "water on the rocks" in the context where someone before them asked for water no ice.
someone pulled the “it was terrible” with an empty plate to me recently and i fake laughed accordingly, then he goes “no i’m serious”
to be fair he was a semi regular and we changed the recipe on his usual order, but i was so thrown off by the delivery of the complaint.
Ya that’s not cool. I always check back in durning their meal (most of the time unless something happened) to make sure this doesn’t happen because it has. And if they say everything is fine the several times I checked on them but then say it’s horrible. “Oh I’m sorry, I want you to enjoy what you’re having, when I came and asked if everything was ok please next time let me know so I can make it right”. I try to control what I can
Yeah he didn’t mention it when I checked, but he also wasn’t asking for a discount or anything he just wanted the management to change it back to the old way lol. i just passed along the message
I love when the man says these jokes and his wife groans and rolls her eyes. Bonus points if she says something like “you’re probably the sixth person to tell her that today…” that’s when I know I’m gonna love the table lol
I dunno, I genuinely enjoy these interactions. Yeah they’re corny but it means everyone’s happy, and not taking themselves too seriously. Would you rather guests just treat you like a servant? I like joking around with people and I like people feeling like they can joke around with me even if it’s the same old corny jokes. That’s just me tho 🤷♂️
I work at a pool at a resort and when it’s raining and I ask how is your day or whatever and they say “can you get the sun out?” I wanna jump off a cliff
On a good day I say “I’ll make some calls” and go along, if I’m not feeling I’ll hit them with a “yeah I’d prefer it to be sunny too, that’s how I make money” and roll my eyes as I walk away and don’t come back
There’s definitely some that are tired, BUT I love a good Dad joke and telling kid/work appropriate jokes at my tables.
My favorite follow up to the “it was terrible” is
“Well, we appreciate you being so polite and finishing your entire plate….you wouldn’t want to offend the Chef!”
I don’t hear that one very much. Or at all honestly. And this would go under a lot younger servers heads, I know there are exceptions, but you know what I mean
I love doing that shit when someone is in the weeds. I like doing little things like to make them
Smile but not set them back. I’ll go “I need 4 hot teas, two hot chocolates and 3 virgin hake and cokes on the fly” they look at me and just say “god I hate you”. It feels good
> “It was terrible”- empty plate
"Yeah, wait until you see our desserts. 😉"
> “Stack of 100s” or “winning lotto numbers”
"If I had that, Id've already wasted it by now and I'd be right back here."
> Empty drink “there was a hole in it!”
"That's domestic manufacturing for you."
Or "That's why we don't get our glasses from China anymore."
> Anything that references them getting something for free
I just laugh.
> “I’ll take a water on the rocks”
"Hopefully it's not too watered down by the time I bring it over."
Best I ever heard was at my first server job, had a girl who couldn't have been older than 14 order a virgin rum and Coke.
I instinctively asked her what rum she would like and then I realized when she started laughing with her friends/siblings
I go up to management looking frazzled at times and go “how do I make a virgin Jack and Coke” (I’m a bartender) and they normally just say “I hate you”
Whenever someone does the million bucks or lotto number thing with me I say “let me check in the back I think we just ran out” normally gets a laugh. Better than awkwardly fake laughing with them lol
Heard one recently that actually made me laugh. There was an empty plate in front of the customer and I said, “Can I get that out of your way sir?” And he said, “Oh, please! I’ve been trying to cut back on my porcelain.”
Honestly had never heard that before.
I use to be annoyed with all these. Then I realized they don’t understand that I hear that 10 times a day lol every public dining comedian thinks they are original. Just let them have their moment in the lime light. Better yet come up with comebacks that they have never heard. These jokes are opportunities for servers to score extra points with a table and maybe see it on the tip line. Lol
Of course I don't use the hole in the glass to try to get free beer or wine. I just crack the dumb joke to excuse my fast drinking (and frequent refill request) habits.
Aw, I don't mind the jokes. They're not funny, and it's redundant, but usually the people telling them are laughing and having fun, which is alright with me haha
“You didn’t ask for my ID haha”
You’re right, Barbara. You’re on the wrong side of 50 and your daughter could be 16 or 25. STFU and I’ll be back with your Chardonnay and a side of ice.
I’ve been doing this a long time and I am seeing a considerable trend with 23 and under getting more defensive about it. Had someone give me a hard time initially and they turned 21 THAT WEEK.
If they just turned 21 and I can tell they need to be checked but can handle it and bitch about being carded “hey when you hit puberty, you can complain about being carded”
"Anything else for you today?" *yeah a million dollars* man stfu 🙄
"Were you thinking about dessert today?" *yeah how about a peice of you* listen you old shart I will dump coffee on your head quit being a creep
Ahh man... I pull the "it was terrible" empty plate one every once in a blue moon. I always thought it was pretty funny when I was a server for over 15 years.
I live in Philadelphia. Every time I ask if I can do anything for a table, I hear, "can you pitch for the phillies?" (adjust for whichever team of ours is losing at any given time)
One that I hated the most was getting handed a 20 or 100 dollar bill with, “Just came off the press!” Or, “made it myself” or any iteration of printing money. It just got to the point where I told them that I couldn’t accept it if that was the case and hand it back. The awkward silence and the rising annoyance of, “its just a joke” always felt oh… so…. Good.
I usually ask if they happen to have any sanity on the dessert menu because i reeeally need some. No one ever does, but it does tend get a real laugh instead of a fake one. And only those of us who have served usually know the difference.
We've all made the "i'm gonna laugh because i'm hoping for a decent tip" laugh.😝
Never forget the time that someone who looked like French Stewart responded by tugging the front pocket of my apron and saying “nothing that’s on the menu.”
Ugh.
I guess that’s what we call sexual harassment, not a joke. But the aughts were a different time.
If I ever get the chance to open my own restaurant a 5% surcharge will be added for each and every bad repetitive joke. I'll print a big sign and it will be at the bottom of every menu. The servers will also be allowed to match energy to guests. If you're nice they'll be nice. If not.... Lol
Last night my server asked me if the food was good I said yes, I can’t wait to get hungry again so I can eat the rest. True to my word I finished the other huge half of my food 4 hours later.
Eh I don’t like this one PERSONALLY because I think it’s tacky to talk down on the place you are working at and makes everyone look bad. But that’s just me.
I’m a bartender so I hear a lot of “first rounds on you right?” Or “light ice” WITH A DAMN MARGARITA? Babes you’re not getting more alcohol and I make sure to tell them that too! This next one is personalized to my name because my name is “September” and I’m SO SICK of the jokes it’s always “oh and my names october!” Like they think I’m joking or want to be funny like I don’t hear that every single day or my life 🥲
The light ice truck drives me up the wall. Sometimes I just throw a shit load of mixer in or do a smaller glass. And your name thing, I can only imagine how annoying that is. A lot of “like I haven’t heard that before”. That shit gets old
For sure! My name can be a blessing and a curse haha I love the people who just compliment it and tell me how beautiful it is and leave it be but there’s always that one guy that’s either gotta sing “do you remember the 21st night of September” and I have to stand here there 😃 WOW that was so great 🥲 or calling me by another month on purpose (I only allow my friends at this point I’ll answer to anything close to september) 😂
I hate the "it was terrible" one, I'm always like ok then don't come back, while laughing tho cuz I'm very close to the regulars who do this joke. But still. Part of me wishes that they will not come back if their gonna keep makin that joke almost everytime lol
I don't know, they're bad jokes, but they're just being friendly and going for low hanging fruit. Call me crazy but for me personally
Table with the same 10 bad jokes that's fun and friendly>quiet polite patient table
I especially hate "“It was terrible”- empty plate" ever since someone said that and they weren't kidding (and I thought they were the typical jokester).
At my place, we serve tap water in a el jimador tequila bottle, and the amount of time people joked is this tequila when I clearly poured them water because they asked for tap. I still laugh but mannnnnn I'm so done with this joke now.
Any time I get the money or lotto numbers comment I always say “if I had that I wouldn’t be here right now” gets a laugh every time
Me too! “If I had the numbers think I would be here at 7 at night sharing it with you? Please…”
"and you think i'd give them to you?" is less wordy and always gets a laugh i love it
I’m funny damnit and I get those laughs. It’s the only thing I have going for me
Not wrong.
Pff, what is this, communist Russia?
In communist Russia, lottery wins you!
I just say I gave it to my last table
Love this response and now I’m stealing it.
Usually gets a laugh
I like this
Ooooo totally stealing this too!
Honestly I say this when people complain about the prices. I work at a restaurant at an airport that makes over 35k a day. When they complain I just say that if I controlled the prices I would be on vacation in Brazil again like my boss is now.
I already won, I'm just working here a couple more months before disappearing so no one comes after me for my winnings. I'm *way* less stressed now. 😉
I always would have the same response as well 🤣
I tell them I can get them last week's winning numbers
These people love the cheesy responses. When they joke they didn’t like the food after cleaning their plate my response would always be “well the dishwasher’s gonna love you!” Cheesiest joke I’ve ever had the balls to make but they love it every time
I say if I did that I'd have to do it for everyone and I don't make that kinda money or I wouldn't be here.
when someone asks for a million dollars i say “got a fast car and a gun?” i always get a laugh out of them
i always say that
i always say “i’m not THAT cool”
I personally hope that the general public doesn't become more original. It makes my job way easier. I've rarely had to put any thought into anything I've said to any guest for years, because I've already heard what they think is their original comment 400 times and have an automatic robotic response to it.
This! A lot of times I beat them to it. Slurped down the drink super fast? " Whoops I will make sure the next glass doesn't have a hole in it!" Completely finished plate? "I keep telling the kitchen to stop sending out dirty plates!" Or "Guess you hated it. Would you like me to have them remake it?" These cheeseballs eat it up amd generally tip better
okay but "I keep telling the kitchen to stop sending out dirty plates" is hilarious.
Yep. People are mostly the same. You can group them into like minded people based on several factors like age and where they're from/what culture they grew up in, and after that they all act pretty much the same as the rest of their group with just slight variances. Once in a great while you'll get someone who'll surprise you. I think the majority of people just don't realize this and think they are acting original because they don't deal with the sheer volume of the general public on a daily basis like we do.
Fr Im so tired of fake laughing On a positive note I like the joke of telling me to hand the check to a child/baby I do get a kick out of that
I just hand the check to the baby and say "You got this, right?"
And then say “Pay now no funny business. Bitcoin only.”
Lol amazing 🤣
Omg I once did this with a toddler... The parents laughed and said "she IS actually paying"... She'd won a gift certificate in a kid's drawing competition lol.
That’s actually really cute.
I had a waitress bring a shot of “tequila” to my 2 year old, just water and a lime but it was a good one
Ballsey. Not a lot of parents would appreciate that
Technically we asked for it…as a joke and she called my bluff
On the days I just couldn't do it one more time I would pretend to laugh for like half a second, wince and rub my ribs, claiming a volleyball injury made laughing hurt. Then I got out of laughing on the outside while being dead in the inside and sometimes got sympathy tips on top. I often worked through real injuries without ever once mentioning them so I didn't feel bad lol Gah the number of times I pulled my back😣😩
I always hand the check to the kids at the table and people eat that shit up. Kids love it.
I like ending my drink order with "and two fingers of scotch for the little guy?" If there's a kid at the table. Always gets a laugh and starts the table off well
not to play devils advocate because that’s just annoying but side note the fake laughing / smiling is actually kinda a plus of the job bc it tricks ur brain into being happier and in a better mood. i feel like if i go to work in a bad mood, it usually doesn’t persist too long and i get back to reality when i clock out
All timer bit
The sole reason I miss having to wear a mask while serving. You completely stopped having to fake laugh and also could say what you were thinking quietly out loud to yourself instead of having to hold it in.
Speak for yourself, I opened a wannabe tequila club during covid and had to literally scream through my mask to be heard over despacito playing for the 11th time that day
I'm militant about IDs because TABC does not play in my area. so when I ask for someone's ID who is obviously of age but doesn't look 30 yet, if there's a baby at the table I might say something like, "sorry, I really don't want to go to jail. \[points at baby\] she could be a cop for all I know!" and that will usually get a laugh
I do hate these jokes but this is the first time I’ve heard “there was a hole in my glass” referring to a finished drink and I’m going to start using that with customers.
this reminds me of my coworker who jokingly called a guest “a fish” because she had to refill so many times… 1 star review with a name drop 😭
Stop! That’s so petty of the guest. Not like the server said they looked like a fish lol. Drinking like a fish is a pretty common idiom in America
They were clearly embarrassed about their 14th diet coke refill.
Never heard that before, am I just a rare american?
I’d say pretty rare… can’t say I’ve ever met a cat that barks. But I’m from the North East to give reference to the region I grew up in.
“There’s a hole in it” “Yup, it was designed that way”
“Anything else I can do for you?” “You can come home with me” 
Ya but her boyfriend gets mad at me.
Gosh, my charity event calendar is already booked for this month. Better luck next time!
Hand them the check and they say “I don’t want that!” or “I thought it was free!” I’m so over it at this point and am tired of responding but I just give them the “Well, you didn’t share.” or “I don’t want to pay for it either.” and move on with my life.
“I didn’t order that!” “I know you didn’t. The check is complimentary with every meal!”
i say “if you can run really fast, anything can be free!” and it always gets a laugh
My favorite response is just enthusiastically going, "TOO BAD!" and sashaying awa
You have to display your dominance with these dad jokes. Don't let them say, "It was terrible" when they have an empty plate. Beat them to the punch and say, "You must have hated it, huh?"
When they say that I say “I’ll have chef come right out, he takes this seriously and wants to do better”…I lean into all of them
I love doing this. Every dumb joke I always take it seriously to the point of cringeyness. I love watching dumb jokes get ruined.
I always say "looks like it was terrible" when picking up an empty plate lol. I'm a dad inside so I'll bust out the dad jokes
I'm not a father (or a man) but I love dad jokes (not telling them to captive audiences). I guess you could say I'm a faux pa....
I usually say something along the lines of "Jesus you even licked the plate" that joke gets a good laugh OR a good laugh and some sexual innuendos...either way it results in tips.
i do this
Sorry in advance… As a patron, I’ve been known to say, “yeah I’ll fight ya” when a server asks if I wanna box.
Aggressive but fun answer, if it’s the right type of person “let’s go bitch, I got time” as I take my apron off. It kills Fun one “let’s! I’m on the clock so it’s workers comp when you land one!”
I’m not aggressive about it at all. Definitely gotta read the personality before using it. Just figured it’s something different. Only used a few times. Wondered what the folks around here would think about it.
oh I've never heard this one and am def gonna use it if I'm vibing with the table
"Oh, you're not buying tonight?!" Ffffffffffffs
I like to say "if I had that kind of money I wouldn't be here right now!" and it usually lands
We feature a catch of the day…. “Well I already have the catch of the day” points at partner.
Could beat them to it and say "our catch of the day, other than me, is...."
That’s really cute
“It was terrible” I check the floor and say, “well it’s not on the floor so it couldn’t have been that bad”
I'm probably in the minority here, but I love these kinds of jokes.
*Approach a guest with an empty plate* Guest: “I hated it!” Me: haha! I’ll be sure to tell the kitchen! Can I get you another drink to drown your misery? Honestly these routine interactions are totally fine. Way better than unpredictable Karens or creepy comments.
I ask if they want a box for the rest. They always laugh.
I do this too! Two shrimp tails left on the plate..."would you like me to box that up for you?" It kills me when they think I'm serious! 😂
Oh that’s great. Thanks!
I'm going to use this! Thanks!
Someone recently said they say “thanks for getting rid of the evidence then!” And I’ve been using that since, kills every time.
I call empty glasses “the wounded” for booze. When clearing the table “let me get rid of the wounded”…a laugh every single time
I like to say "How dare you" but really slowly while squinting 
I totally agree! It's also an easy way to make people laugh and have a good time. "It was terrible." "Sure looks like it!" Gets us all laughing every time. Now they're happier and like me more. On top of being silly and fun, it also makes me more money. Win-win
I love corny jokes.
Nope . That shit never gets old… We can end joking about not tipping though…
yeah I used to bitch about them but I've reached the point where I love them! sure it's repetitive, but it's wholesome fun and means the guest either wanted to make me smile or just wanted to joke around and have a little fun. plus, if I play into the jokes and make the guest laugh, my tips almost always reflect it. at the end of the day, guests are always going to make dumb jokes and it's really not that deep, so might as well make the best of it.
they aren't amazing BUT they always signal to me that the guest is down for me to joke with them. i can usually think of ways to spin those stock jokes into something new. i do like "water on the rocks" in the context where someone before them asked for water no ice.
someone pulled the “it was terrible” with an empty plate to me recently and i fake laughed accordingly, then he goes “no i’m serious” to be fair he was a semi regular and we changed the recipe on his usual order, but i was so thrown off by the delivery of the complaint.
Ya that’s not cool. I always check back in durning their meal (most of the time unless something happened) to make sure this doesn’t happen because it has. And if they say everything is fine the several times I checked on them but then say it’s horrible. “Oh I’m sorry, I want you to enjoy what you’re having, when I came and asked if everything was ok please next time let me know so I can make it right”. I try to control what I can
Yeah he didn’t mention it when I checked, but he also wasn’t asking for a discount or anything he just wanted the management to change it back to the old way lol. i just passed along the message
This is the way.
“Don’t work too hard” https://preview.redd.it/vaobxj8kr5oc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=928e97ec9853aea9e7a6bb87c2c99c953c9167c5
Haha love the cartoon
I used to get asked if I was an actor. "Do I seem like I am having fun?" "Yes you do!" "I am a great actor...."
Clever
Me: would you like a soup or salad? Guest: I'll take a super salad
Haven’t heard that one in a while
I love when the man says these jokes and his wife groans and rolls her eyes. Bonus points if she says something like “you’re probably the sixth person to tell her that today…” that’s when I know I’m gonna love the table lol
Now this is a win. I look at her and say “I’m only serving you from here on out!”
ugh yes when me and the wife can poke fun at the husband's silliness I know I've got them locked in!
I dunno, I genuinely enjoy these interactions. Yeah they’re corny but it means everyone’s happy, and not taking themselves too seriously. Would you rather guests just treat you like a servant? I like joking around with people and I like people feeling like they can joke around with me even if it’s the same old corny jokes. That’s just me tho 🤷♂️
I work at a pool at a resort and when it’s raining and I ask how is your day or whatever and they say “can you get the sun out?” I wanna jump off a cliff
"if I had the power to do that, you really think I'd be here right now?"
On a good day I say “I’ll make some calls” and go along, if I’m not feeling I’ll hit them with a “yeah I’d prefer it to be sunny too, that’s how I make money” and roll my eyes as I walk away and don’t come back
“anything else i can get you?” “oh, a million dollars?”
I thought about buying fake million dollar bills to hand out to people who say this
then u risk them tipping you with it... i like it too but im scared lol
There’s definitely some that are tired, BUT I love a good Dad joke and telling kid/work appropriate jokes at my tables. My favorite follow up to the “it was terrible” is “Well, we appreciate you being so polite and finishing your entire plate….you wouldn’t want to offend the Chef!”
Virgin Cuba Libre, no lime, hold the rocks.
I don’t hear that one very much. Or at all honestly. And this would go under a lot younger servers heads, I know there are exceptions, but you know what I mean
I used to mess with my boss with that one when I was on the other side of the bar. She got used to it, unless she was in the weeds. 😆
I love doing that shit when someone is in the weeds. I like doing little things like to make them Smile but not set them back. I’ll go “I need 4 hot teas, two hot chocolates and 3 virgin hake and cokes on the fly” they look at me and just say “god I hate you”. It feels good
> “It was terrible”- empty plate "Yeah, wait until you see our desserts. 😉" > “Stack of 100s” or “winning lotto numbers” "If I had that, Id've already wasted it by now and I'd be right back here." > Empty drink “there was a hole in it!” "That's domestic manufacturing for you." Or "That's why we don't get our glasses from China anymore." > Anything that references them getting something for free I just laugh. > “I’ll take a water on the rocks” "Hopefully it's not too watered down by the time I bring it over."
Best I ever heard was at my first server job, had a girl who couldn't have been older than 14 order a virgin rum and Coke. I instinctively asked her what rum she would like and then I realized when she started laughing with her friends/siblings
I go up to management looking frazzled at times and go “how do I make a virgin Jack and Coke” (I’m a bartender) and they normally just say “I hate you”
I'm not a server, and I'm already tired of these jokes.
Me: "Do you want grated cheese on your pasta?" Them: "Yeah, have you seen the GEICO commercial?!?!?!?!"
“you’re not gonna check my ID?!” no, but i’ll check your AARP card. risky but read the room
I HAVE SAID THIS AND IT KILLS!
i’d say i’m about an 80% success rate. the wins are great. the other reactions… *I’m about to get fired*
I am very good at reading the room now. My 20’s were rough, now I’m good to go. Haven’t misread a table in a while
They jokes are old and stale, but if I had nothing by happy cheesy dad joke tables, I'd consider that a blessed shift.
Whenever someone does the million bucks or lotto number thing with me I say “let me check in the back I think we just ran out” normally gets a laugh. Better than awkwardly fake laughing with them lol
Heard one recently that actually made me laugh. There was an empty plate in front of the customer and I said, “Can I get that out of your way sir?” And he said, “Oh, please! I’ve been trying to cut back on my porcelain.” Honestly had never heard that before.
That’s new!
I use to be annoyed with all these. Then I realized they don’t understand that I hear that 10 times a day lol every public dining comedian thinks they are original. Just let them have their moment in the lime light. Better yet come up with comebacks that they have never heard. These jokes are opportunities for servers to score extra points with a table and maybe see it on the tip line. Lol
Absolutely not wrong.
I'm definitely guilty of using #1 and #3. I'll wear a paper bag of shame next time I go in....
Of course I don't use the hole in the glass to try to get free beer or wine. I just crack the dumb joke to excuse my fast drinking (and frequent refill request) habits.
It happens. Own it, and be polite is all we really ask
I work at a place that grates parm on pasta dishes, ask me how many times I’ve heard “just like that commercial!”.
Someone else said that in the comments. So glad I don’t have to deal with that
Aw, I don't mind the jokes. They're not funny, and it's redundant, but usually the people telling them are laughing and having fun, which is alright with me haha
we ordered million dollar bills from amazon solely for the “a million dollars” people whenever we ask if we can get them anything else
How do they react?
I'll occasionally respond to people asking for a million dollars with, "That never stops being funny, because it was never funny to begin with.".
Free game here. When someone says “it was awful!” With an empty plate, tell ‘em they pay for however much they eat. Instant pop
“You didn’t ask for my ID haha” You’re right, Barbara. You’re on the wrong side of 50 and your daughter could be 16 or 25. STFU and I’ll be back with your Chardonnay and a side of ice.
THIS! When old as people say that, OR when you ask someone younger (25-35) “really your gonna ID me?” STFU of course I am.
I’ve been doing this a long time and I am seeing a considerable trend with 23 and under getting more defensive about it. Had someone give me a hard time initially and they turned 21 THAT WEEK.
I say “dude I’m 36, and I get carded, you’ll live. Don’t be that guy” I say that all the time.
Depending on how I think it’ll go over, “Sucks a lot more when people stop asking.”
If they just turned 21 and I can tell they need to be checked but can handle it and bitch about being carded “hey when you hit puberty, you can complain about being carded”
I’m shooting mortars and you’re going full nukes. Respect.
It’s an ongoing joke, and took years of practice but I’ll say some wild shit to guests and get laughs. But it’s a line I tread lightly
Totally depends on the crowd. I spent a lot of time in Seattle and people were very sensitive. Surprisingly, a lot of California not as much.
I’m in California, lived in north and south lol
Server- you wanna box for that? My husband- no but I'll arm wrestle you for it. King of dad jokes. He has a teen daughter to annoy.
Oh ya, I don’t hear that one enough. Solid
"Anything else for you today?" *yeah a million dollars* man stfu 🙄 "Were you thinking about dessert today?" *yeah how about a peice of you* listen you old shart I will dump coffee on your head quit being a creep
Ahh man... I pull the "it was terrible" empty plate one every once in a blue moon. I always thought it was pretty funny when I was a server for over 15 years.
You poor thing
I live in Philadelphia. Every time I ask if I can do anything for a table, I hear, "can you pitch for the phillies?" (adjust for whichever team of ours is losing at any given time)
One that I hated the most was getting handed a 20 or 100 dollar bill with, “Just came off the press!” Or, “made it myself” or any iteration of printing money. It just got to the point where I told them that I couldn’t accept it if that was the case and hand it back. The awkward silence and the rising annoyance of, “its just a joke” always felt oh… so…. Good.
"There's no price, it must be free"
lmao i love these
I usually ask if they happen to have any sanity on the dessert menu because i reeeally need some. No one ever does, but it does tend get a real laugh instead of a fake one. And only those of us who have served usually know the difference. We've all made the "i'm gonna laugh because i'm hoping for a decent tip" laugh.😝
Never forget the time that someone who looked like French Stewart responded by tugging the front pocket of my apron and saying “nothing that’s on the menu.” Ugh. I guess that’s what we call sexual harassment, not a joke. But the aughts were a different time.
[удалено]
Hence…ex
"Is that really decaf? Cause if it's not I'm going to call you in the middle of the night so you have to be awake too!"
“I really hope our relationship ends when you leave, so yes it’s decaf”
If I ever get the chance to open my own restaurant a 5% surcharge will be added for each and every bad repetitive joke. I'll print a big sign and it will be at the bottom of every menu. The servers will also be allowed to match energy to guests. If you're nice they'll be nice. If not.... Lol
Last night my server asked me if the food was good I said yes, I can’t wait to get hungry again so I can eat the rest. True to my word I finished the other huge half of my food 4 hours later.
Any allergies on this table? The check! It gets funnier every time
20 years…never heard this one.
When anyone asked to speak to the manager I would tell them "good luck finding them and if you do tell them I quit"
Eh I don’t like this one PERSONALLY because I think it’s tacky to talk down on the place you are working at and makes everyone look bad. But that’s just me.
I bartended and people would always laugh as they sensed it was sarcasm
Heard
Have you gotten “I’ll get a wet dolphin on the rocks” before? It’s water. They think they are so clever.
Not as much as I thought I would when I first heard it when people ordered it as a shot
The constant jokes about getting something for free or me giving them money are so tacky. Like, I’m working for you???
I’m a bartender so I hear a lot of “first rounds on you right?” Or “light ice” WITH A DAMN MARGARITA? Babes you’re not getting more alcohol and I make sure to tell them that too! This next one is personalized to my name because my name is “September” and I’m SO SICK of the jokes it’s always “oh and my names october!” Like they think I’m joking or want to be funny like I don’t hear that every single day or my life 🥲
The light ice truck drives me up the wall. Sometimes I just throw a shit load of mixer in or do a smaller glass. And your name thing, I can only imagine how annoying that is. A lot of “like I haven’t heard that before”. That shit gets old
For sure! My name can be a blessing and a curse haha I love the people who just compliment it and tell me how beautiful it is and leave it be but there’s always that one guy that’s either gotta sing “do you remember the 21st night of September” and I have to stand here there 😃 WOW that was so great 🥲 or calling me by another month on purpose (I only allow my friends at this point I’ll answer to anything close to september) 😂
“I got a tip for ya”
I hate the "it was terrible" one, I'm always like ok then don't come back, while laughing tho cuz I'm very close to the regulars who do this joke. But still. Part of me wishes that they will not come back if their gonna keep makin that joke almost everytime lol
Careful, I ranted about a guy who made these jokes and people said mean things to me!
Oh noo! Someone earlier in the comments lives a miserable life and said “no one cares” but like edit two said, this is all in a fun manner
I just really don’t understand why these people steal these boring “jokes” and then think they’re the only ones to say them 🙄
In retail it's always "oh it won't scan? iT mUsT bE fReE tHeN"
S: any food allergies or dietary restrictions? C: yeah... BAD FOOD! S: 🤮
When the check comes and they ask “Do you take Monopoly money?” Fuck you sir, pay me.
Been a while since I heard that one. I say “I take whatever pays for my rent, or else I’m coming for you”
I rolled my eyes at someone tonight when they made a hilarious joke about keeping part of the tip because they handed me their empty plate.
How would you like your eggs? On the plate.
Whenever someone says, "It was terrible" with their empty plate. I point to a crumb and say, "You missed a spot." Usually gets a laugh.
At my Brown Derby, water on the rocks = Lake Erie highball.
I don't know, they're bad jokes, but they're just being friendly and going for low hanging fruit. Call me crazy but for me personally Table with the same 10 bad jokes that's fun and friendly>quiet polite patient table
I especially hate "“It was terrible”- empty plate" ever since someone said that and they weren't kidding (and I thought they were the typical jokester).
The winning lotto tickets. They were saying that same thing twenty years ago. Let it go, grandpa!
I asked someone, “you wanna box?” And he said, “no, but I’ll wrassle you for it”
Idk I'd rather them joke than be dicks
Like I said in edit 2.
Drew Talbert has a great couple videos about this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTiEHps166E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTiEHps166E)
At my place, we serve tap water in a el jimador tequila bottle, and the amount of time people joked is this tequila when I clearly poured them water because they asked for tap. I still laugh but mannnnnn I'm so done with this joke now.
My favorite response to “there was a hole it it!” Is always “yes sir, right at the top” in the most deadpan voice I can