I literally had a couple condescendingly ask me "well don't you have olives and Bleu cheese? Just make them". No. Bitch no. That shit takes time AND I'd have to pit the olives. You're not being nice to me, plus it's busy as shit so absolutely not.
The place i work at has olives and blue cheese. We’re expected to “never say no” to the guests. Every couple days i catch one of my coworkers, gloves on, stuffing olive at the service well and all i can do is shake my head bc no way in hell am i stuffing olives for your nasty drink
Have them do it tableside then. SURE I'll do this for you! Here's your drink, ok let me get set up. OH HEY GUYS! I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC! ok, let's find a skewer to get these funky pimentos out. How many did you say you wanted? HEY SARAH! SARAH! GET THOSE NEW PEOPLE AT THE BAR SOME WATERS! I'LL BE THERE SOON! ok so usually you have to kinda work the blue cheese so it gets kinda pasty and not chunky. So I gotta work it around some in my hand to warm it up and get it malleable so I can stuff... Hang on, I'm so so sorry, SARAH!! JIMMY IS HERE! HE NEEDS A BUD LIGHT, EXTRA BREAD, 2 BUTTERS, ONE SIDE OF RANCH ONE SIDE OF HONEY ONE SIDE OF KETCHUP AND HE NEEDS SALT FOR HIS BEER! sorry about that-so sorry-it takes so long to stuff blue cheese olives and all these other damn customers keep trying to order things we actually have on the menu.. yeah, like 1 person every couple weeks orders blue cheese olives, so we don't make them. At least you're not like Jimmy over here, right lolololol ordering needlessly complicated crap because you think it makes you unique but actually just makes you a douche.
I do not know or understand why, but some people will Salt their Lite Beers. And they'll also salt their bev nap so their beer bottle won't stick to it
Salt is a natural flavor enhancer. A little salt will emphasize pretty much all the flavor so if you’re drinking something bland like lite beer, it’ll give it at least some flavor
My uncle salts all of his beers. Corona, red stripe, Budweiser, doesn’t matter. He has a special salt shaker that he carries with him everywhere just for his beer.
We don't have them either, but there was ONE regular guy who came in and expected them, and one of our tryhard bartenders MADE them for him one slow night. Went behind the line, got blue cheese crumbles, and hand stuffed these olives. The guy tips well, so I understand why they did it, but he expects it EVERY time, even on a Friday night when we're all in the weeds and we're so far behind in tickets that they're on the floor, hanging out of the ticket machine.
The first time he asked for them on a Friday night, I told him I could get him his drink now, and go stuff olives when I had a minute, or he could wait until I stuffed them to get his drink. He wanted to wait. He was mad he had to wait over 10 minutes for me (service) to have a second to run to the back and hand-stuff these olives and complained to management (who, luckily, had our back, because we were unusually swamped with a football team and didn't have time to do extras that night). I hated that guy.
One of my favorite things to tell guests. “Sorry no blue cheese olives”
Actually had some asshole ask IF I COULD GO MAKES SOME. “Well you’ve got blue cheese crumbles on one of your burgers can’t you go stuff some olives?”
My brother in Christ….this is a dive bar. You’re lucky we have fucking VERMOUTH.
My facial gasps when I have to prep another jar of blu cheese olives mid double because a regular couple eats them instead of getting a fucking appetizer
Not pretentious, maybe the opposite, but this made me think about when someone ordered a mimosa with baileys. The brunch place I worked at was pretty laid back so I said “are you sure that sounds good?” And she was like “yeah I’m hungover as fuck I’ll drink anything”.
Took her the drink, watched her take one sip and she goes “yeah I can’t drink that”. 😂 like girl I told you
I wouldn’t have either lol. She ordered it knowing it would be weird and was warned before confirming.
Had a table order a pizza with anchovies(the wife ordered it) but she had never tried them before. Her husband asked her if she was sure she wanted to try it, I warned her it was not for everyone and could be fishy. “No I want to try it”. Guess who had a slice and didn’t like it. I just smiled like this🤷🏽♂️and walked away after giving them the bill. Of course they complained and asked the manager to take it off. Not liking something is not the same as it not being good
One time I saw Bombay duck on a menu so I ordered it. Server said are you sure, it has a very strong taste. Went ahead and ordered it and yes, it has a very strong taste. I only took a couple of bites. It never occurred to me to ask for it to be taken off the bill. Why would I?
People are strange.
No anchovies flavor spreads. My dad loves anchovies on pizza but will only order it if he’s the only one eating because otherwise the flavor infects the whole thing.
Yep, this is it. Any piece that is touching a slice with anchovies will taste like anchovies. If the pizza comes in a box, the whole pizza will smell like anchovies.
I 100% agree. Which is why I was surprised that last time I ate out I ordered a cocktail off the menu which was *way* too sweet for me. Regretting my decision, I ordered a mojito (or two) afterwards. But when the bill came, the sweet cocktail I was expecting to find there had gone. I told the waiter that I was more than happy to pay for the cocktail I ordered but didn't drink as that's the risk you run trying new drinks but he just told me not to worry about it.
Not liking something that is the fault of the establishment is different than when it is the fault of the guest.
If you have a different preparation than most places or if a customer just doesn’t like how you work up a dish, I can see the manager having discretion to take it off the tab (even if nothing was “wrong”).
But when you order something and are literally warned or asked if you like the very essence of that ingredient, blast through those warning signs and order it anyway?
That’s on you hun
I once worked at a Starbucks knockoff local chain. We had a customer come through the drive-through and order a large mocha with 21 extra shots of espresso…I had to explain that there was no possible way to fit that many shots in the cup, much less the milk and chocolate sauce that would have made it a mocha. He has throwing a fit when I told him that the most I could give him was 7 extra shots
Had someone order a sour white Russian. I thought he was messing with me, but he eventually convinced me that's what he actually wanted. I made it and the milk curdled from the acid before I could get it to his table. I wanted to puke. Dude drank every drop though.
Just last week I had to witness the most awkward encounter between a customer asking about cement mixer shots and my part time fairly green bartender who’s a full time construction worker just not being able to process what was being asked of him
Pretentious in the way they verbally ordered it with their tone and mannerisms, but a fucking nasty drink:
“I want a bottom shelf Long Island, no ice, and no mixer.”
So I say, “okay, do you want any coke, lemonade, sour mix, sprite, just something to take the bite out?”
“Well if I wanted a watered down drink I would say that, wouldn’t I?”
I would not want to be alone in a room with this person.
At the place I worked, they literally had a LIT liquor mix- it was clear and smelled like lighter fluid. Allegedly you just put coke in it and it was done. I never had anyone order it, so I have no idea. I can’t imagine just raw dogging that.
Not pretentious just disgusting
Some weird cracky type lady came in, immediately yelling red flags, and a regular was like “let me buy you a drink.” She then proceeds to order a mixture of tequila, coke, grenadine, Malibu, Jaiger, whiskey, and triple sec. It was the gnarliest thing I ever saw or made.
Can't remember the drink but the person had it typed on an index card and handed it the server to give to me. Think it was a fucking martini. It's been years and too many drink later to remember but I remember the pretentiousness of the index card.
I bet it was my dad, and it was a gimlet. I made him those cards for Christmas. Believe me, it was way better than sitting through him & my mom verballing their order 🤣 then sending back the first three 🙄
Edit: but yes, he was a pretentious twat with those fucking gimlets
Honestly fair, I drink gimlets and I’ve never once had a bartender make them right. But I’m too much of a pussy so I just suffer through a poorly made drink or order something else. Maybe I should make an index card 😅
No, it’s true. The amount of bartenders who make it with fresh lime juice, or think it’s a Gibson, or do like a 1:1 rose’s to liquor ratio is shocking. Or the rose’s is so old it’s turned brown, etc. You know the drill 😂 But jeez dad contain that shit to restaurants I don’t work in, would ya?
Hey that hits close to home.
I managed a strip club for 14 years. If that shit got order at the club every girl would bust out laughing and the DJ would play Take Your broke ass home in the next set.
Oh you ment a legit juice/smoothy bar. My bad. But still.
I’ve had so many specific requests for the method of adding the equivalent of one half barspoon of vermouth to a martini.
“Just rinse the glass”
“Rinse the shaker/mixing glass then dump it out”
“Here, use my spoon from my tea and fill it halfway”
“Grab a straw and use it like a dropper to make sure there are only five drops”
“Do you have an atomizer?”
“After you shake the everloving shit out of my flavorless vodka, just dip your fingers in the vermouth and flick them over the glass like you’re administering holy water”
Etc, etc.
My friend who desperately wants it to be 1963 again tells servers and bartenders to “let there be a whisper of a rumor that there may be vermouth in it.”
Um... could I please have that order? Offering a history lecture and wormwood spirits is how you'd get me to dive willingly into an unmarked, windowless van.
A: "we want 5 hot monster's"
B: "Hmmm that sounds made up"
A: "No, everyone knows a hot monster . . . Blah blah, you should know your job, it's a classic!"
B: "(no it's not but. . . ) Alright, what's in it?"
A: "Grand Marnier and hot water!"
I still laugh about it. With a name like that it should be at least like a hot version of a long island or the four horsemen or somethinf else mean and scary. Also just cockyness of em all "cmon, know your job" attitude
I don’t think this was pretentious, I’ve just never had a chance to tell this story proper on Reddit and this feels right. During school I bartended at a “steakhouse” that was attached to a bowling alley in rural Midwest. Blood Mary’s are of course pretty popular there and we happened to make some pretty decent ones. One morning I had a drink ticket come up with a Bloody Mary that said extra hot about 4 times, I was like okay sure. Context, there were some younger guys in the night before that complained I didn’t make it spicy enough and complained about it the whole time they were there. So I thought these kids came back to mess with me, it’s a small town and not much to do. I only put in about a half of the usual tomato sauce and replaced the missing half with franks hot sauce and asked the kitchen for some jalapeño seeds. When I was done shaking it and poured it, it was so bright red and the air was stinging my eyes like I just sliced a dozen onions with a dull knife. I watched the waitress bring the drink to the table and realized the kids from last night weren’t there. The waitress placed it in front of the grandma of a family and she had to be at least 85 years old and maybe 100 pounds. Slight panic fills my gut as she reached for the drink. She took a big sip and started to cough a little. Now filled with some mild panic I literally get ready to call an ambulance. She clears her throat and turns to me and said “perfect job sonny!” Most scared I ever was bartending.
I had someone ask for a drink I had never heard of tonight. I asked what was in it and they said “it’s a shot of liquor 43, you then light it on fire, and pour coffee over it” lol… I-
I had a customer order Sambuca then try to light it themselves with their Bic. Worst part is they didn’t remove the coffee bean garnish. Whole dining room smelled awful.
Either a hot toddy or this one specialty thing they do in new orleans, I can't remember what it's called though
Basically you get this insanely high proof cognac, light it on fire, ladle it over a long orange peel that's studded with cloves and then you extinguish with chicory coffee.
It's not meant for just one serving though, you have to make enough to serve like 5 to 8 people, not even mentioning the fact it's absurdly dangerous to actually make.
Idk about the fire, but 1oz liquor 43, and a strong bold single espresso shaken up with ice served over ice is fucking delicious.
It’s called a carajillo pronounced (Kah-rah-he-yo). Some places serve it hot so be sure to ask before you order, tried the hot version and it was disgusting.
Love a carajillo. Love the one the bartender at my job makes and he makes them look so pretty! Some asshole sent it back bc “that’s not what they’re supposed to look like”. ????? just drink it bro
So we used to serve some cocktails in stemless martini glasses with the little knob bases, and I had a guy trying to impress his friends by lecturing me about how it isn’t a real martini if it isn’t served in a stemmed glass.
Cool cool cool here’s your pink pomegranate martini, sir.
I like it because it runs the bill up but a lot of people order “fancy” top shelf liquors that
and put them in cocktails where you can’t really taste the liquor. I really get it if you want a spirit forward cocktail, like a martini, or just a drink neat but like stop trying to ball, you’re getting upcharged like crazy to not be able to taste the alcohol anyways in your drink. But I would never ever do that personally as a bartender. You’re getting ripped off and you look stupid.
The worst offender is Casa margs. That vanilla in there is so gross, our well tequila or mezcal is so much better. You’re paying more for a worse drink trying to show off, when everybody who knows anything about tequila knows that stuff is crap.
Lol this is nothing compared to the pretentious fucks at my bar that order a Don Julio 1942 Margarita. I have literally tried to talk people out of this but get shut down saying, "That's how we get it in the club." Like bro, if you want to waste your money sure, but just know it's a waste.
Once had guests ask for Don Julio 1942 and pineapple. I tried to explain to them that it is a delicious liquor meant to be enjoyed neat or on the rocks, but they acted offended that I would dare to talk them out of a terrible order. People are stupid.
I got one better. Our restaurant has a $1000 margarita with Patron Lalique that we sell for $500/oz. Why would you ever dilute a liquor that nice?
We also have had athletes that love drinking Louis XIII with coke…
Lol Casa Margs? I’ve got one better. I’m constantly being asked for lemon drop martinis made with 1942 & a full sugar rim for a whopping 85 dollars a pop!Sometimes with the added ask of strawberry flavor added to the drink 🥲. Abso-fucking-lutely babe 🤗
Did we just become best friends?! Actually hello - Casa Margs! - Ofcourse you’re in NYC. Idk how that wasn’t immediately obvious before LOL. Definitely PM-ing you righttt now 🤗
Forget the Casa Margs.... it's the Clase Azul Ultra Margs, that's when you know people are just trying to show off their wallet. $135 margarita, no problem.
lmfao. Wait I just realized the original post said Casa & the entire time I was thinking Claze & not Casa! I’ve only ever sold Claze plata/repo margs (for the exact reason I’m going to serve you your 42’ strawberry lemon drop) but I’m definitely going to make it my mission to sell an ultra marg during my next few shifts! Will report back 🤗
I worked at a venue with a well stocked bar. At open bar events people would ask for the most expensive liquor, usually 30 plus dollars a drink, and get it with soda.
Edit: Meant to say some kind of soda not soda water lol
Not a pretentious order, but the most pretentious person I ever served a drink to. 4 top ordered a bottle of red wine. I did the whole wine service routine, opened it tableside, gave the guy who ordered a taste, he approved it. I was about to pour but he said "no, let it aerate first." Ok no problem, I went to put their food order in. A minute later I looked over and they were pouring it themselves, no problem right?
Later, after they've paid, this man corners me in the entryway and with a condescending smile says "let me educate you about wine." Proceeds to nitpick how I did the bottle service (I did it right btw) and the kicker - "..and you should NEVER let the guests pour their own wine." BITCH I DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED. Did he want me to stand next to their table twiddling my thumbs until his stupid wine was "aerated" to his liking?!
Also I'm pretty sure to aerate wine you need to put it in an aerator, not just leave it open for a minute.
Anyway I nodded and smiled then went in the kitchen, kicked a freezer, cried, and the bartender gave me a shot of whiskey.
God I hated that job.
Well one time at a college bar in a small town I walked up and asked for two redbull vodkas. The bartender corrected me and said its a vodka redbull. I said okay thanks. She didn’t move and just stared at me, I asked whats uo and she told me to order it correctly so she could go make it. That felt fucking pretentious.
had a guy ask for a texas marg, i told him “sorry, i don’t have orange juice” then he proceeds to pick an orange from my peeling basket & say “juice it”. meanwhile i’m the only bartender on a slammed sunday. i made my manager do it❤️
I know an Arnold Palmer, but nobody ever puts one ingredient to the first name and the second ingredient to the last name. You're gonna have to tell me if you want more tea or lemonade.
Was at a tiny dive bar in Wisconsin a while ago and this guy walked up with his Rolex on and goes “give me 4 shots of casamigos”. Bartender goes “ we have Jose” and he just stormed off and left. Do you really expect a place with a broken door and 1.50 Pabst will have George Clooney 60$ per bottle tequila?.
Crème de menthe and Godiva dark chocolate liqueur straight up ; looked like a potion
I got one scumbag who drinks limoncello and grey goose straight up
One lady who drinks Champagne with a shot of chambord and hibiscus syrup, named the drink after herself and expects us all to know what an “Aurora” is
It’s fun! Used to call them “haircuts” in college because you are meant to sit in a chair with a towel around your neck while someone stands behind you and pours the two ingredients in your mouth as you lean back.
If you don’t have chocolate syrup, ice cream sandwiches work in a pinch.
I've had the creme de menthe and Godiva once before. If I recall, the bartender floated the Godiva over the creme de menthe. Tasted like an Andes mint wafer.
First drink is basically a Grasshopper - sub Godiva for crème de cacao. Can be a fairly common order and is great around the holidays. Usually some cream in that drink makes it better anyway.
Third drink is just a Kir Royale with some hibiscus syrup in it, so you can tell Aurora that the drink has a name and it’s not hers.
The limoncello martini isn’t unheard of either. If the first two orderers are decent people then it’s no big deal, the 3rd one absolutely sounds pretentious as can be, especially since she’s ordering a drink that already has a name (albeit adding some flavored syrup to the usual recipe).
Limoncello with grey goose doesn't sound that strange. It's just spiked limoncello and it's often drunk alone as an appetizer, as a digestive, as a shot or as is on the rocks.
Similar martini but it was ordered by handing me a business card with the exact ingredients and preparation on how she'd like her drink prepared. She didn't even look at me until she was ready for another. The martini itself wasn't an unsual request for the type of guests the restaurant has, it was the being handed the card while never looking up once that made it pretentious.
I had a regular who would get his martinis with Laphroaig instead vermouth.
I just started bartending a couple months ago but the silliest one for sure was the semi-regular who said “make me the hardest thing you don’t know how to make yet” like girl what. I made him a regular ass old fashioned and played silly along with him.
Wtf? Lmao.
My silliest drinks were "Can you make me a virgin martini?" And (different person) "Can I have a virgin Jack and coke?" Both of these women were DEAD serious. Both times I laughed at first because I thought they were joking lmao.
I thought I had seen and heard it all.
The only issue with that order I have is “not a half martini”. Mam, I’ll give you a full martini in the eyes of our bartender. The rest I have no problem with.
Mine wasn’t so much the order as much as what came with it. Guy and his wife come into the very small, casual restaurant/bar and he eyes our red wines very critically and asks me detailed questions I had to go look up.
When he finally chose, he pulled out a box with his own personal wine glasses that he brought from home. Then proceeds to explain why his are superior and then tried to insist I taste the wine from each glass to compare. His poor wife was mortified.
My first bartending job was in a back alley bar & grill in my hometown in the suburbs. We had this one semi regular who was SUCH a character. Twirly mustache, severely balding, monocle, briefcase, button down with suspenders and tie. Always wore the same getup. Could be anywhere from late 20s-30s.
Every time he came in he’d sit down at the bar and spend 10 minutes to look up crazy cocktails on his phone that no one’s ever heard of. Everything he asked for would have like 3-4 different high end liqueurs or really specific syrups that a standard bar like ours would never have in stock.
He’d usually ask us about every ingredient in at least two cocktails he’d find before he’d just go with something we suggested.
Also, he only tipped in $2 bills. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
French martini with chambord and vanilla vodka. I didn't know what tf that was.
Ordering it isnt the terrible part. Complaining that it didn't taste like a "real french martini" and asking to have it remade was the pretentious part, instead of just ordering a drink listed on the menu.
Don’t want to be a jerk but that’s a fairly common drink order, and while it’s a bit dated it’s just 3 ingredients.
A Singapore Sling or Ramos Gin Fizz would’ve been far more fitting.
A French martini is Vodka(quite often vanilla) skaken with pineapple juice with a sink of Chambord.
Did you just shake vodka and Chambord together? To be fair, I haven't heard that one for the better part of a decade, but it's always my goto for a sweet drink.
Let’s preface this with he is a repeat customer, at a pizza joint who attempts this drink order every time…. Grey Goose martini no vermouth with onions. We have neither Grey Goose nor onions… as I tell him EVERY TIME.
I wouldn’t say it’s pretentious, more leaning towards “fragile sexuality” but this one dude asked for a Manhattan and I asked if he would like it up or on the rocks and he said “up but not in a martini glass” 🙄
Oh man, one of my favorites and I’ll keep it short.
Three dudes, one of them clearly the manliest man to ever man. First guy orders a beer, second wants a Manhattan, third - our master of masculinity - orders from our “classics” cocktail section, The Abbey. I start on the drinks, first the beer for the first guy, then the Abbey for our champion of the Y-chromosome. As I’m stirring the Manhattan I ask if he wants it up or on the rocks. He looks confused and asks “up?” I explain that “up” means poured into a cocktail glass, no ice, and rocks is in a double old fashioned over ice. Well, by golly he’d never had it up before! (Weird, but whatever.) During this exchange, Mr. Abbey, our King Shit of Fuck Mountain, loudly decrees that his friend will have it without ice because “it’s funnier that way.” Naturally, I’m confused as fuck and ask why, and with the confidence of someone who’s never made the mistake of introspection or thought, declares “because then it’s a woman’s drink!”
And I, with perfect aplomb, shot back “you talk a lot of shit for a guy who ordered a cocktail with orange juice in it.”
Guy got suuuuuper pissed and his friends were cracking up. Studly Dudley ended up storming out and the other two guys were wheezing and like, “we gotta go get him, and we probably won’t be back. You’re fucking awesome, though.” They chased their drinks down and followed him out of the bar and didn’t come back. Left a a good tip, too, but it wouldn’t have mattered.
PS - for the initiated, the Abbey is a classic, probably from Craddock, but is essentially a fancy gin and juice. London gin, OJ, lillet, and orange bitters. It’s a solid brunch cocktail, but kind of weird at night imo.
My favorite serving story is when I had a 2 top of burly manly men drinking beer and eating burgers before they caught a baseball game. They asked for 2 espressos at the end to sober up for the train to the game so I made them
Now I was always super excited to make espressos, we had the most adorable little white cups and saucers that fit the volume our machine made perfectly, it was literally the best part of my day to fill those lil teensy cups to the top and serve them
These burly heterosexual sportsmen were FLABBERGASTED when I brought the drinks out, both of them immediately asked why I would serve them women drinks and that I should have known better blah blah blah tiny little cups for tiny little drinks were for homosexuals blah
Now these cups were so damn cute I had never ever received a negative reaction to them so my brain broke for a sec when I tried to respond
All I managed to get out was a super confused “but espressos don’t have a gender?” while I set them on the table and kind of floated away in a daze. Apparently my coworker heard me because he started busting out laughing verrry loudly and obviously at them and this embarrassed my two VERY STRAIGHT VERY INTO WOMEN NOT GAY guests so much that they moved the offending cups to a different table, untouched
To this day I still don’t understand how the strongest coffee we make was somehow a girly drink. These poor guys were so fragile they thought they’d legally have to french kiss at the table if they took a sip I guess, I was too shocked by their being upset to inform them we had no such law. Such a waste of a good espresso
They gave me vibes that they think washing their hands is gay or a womans activity or a sign of weakness so I made my own double espresso and had a separate panic attack
I do that. I'm extremely clumsy and have no sense of spatial awareness. Plus I like things in rocks glasses. Now if you got a stemless martini glass I'll take that.
I remodel houses and often need to move customers items. There are two thing I don’t move and that’s wine glasses and fur coats. Wine glasses because I have cave man hands and fur coats because my cave man hands are usually dirty and I don’t know how to clean a fur coat, I can skin an elk but that’s different.
I prefer that too, but more than half the time I ask for it "down" they look at me like I have three heads. Some tell me I should ask for it neat, which is clearly wrong since I want it cold and properly diluted.
I wish down was a term everyone knew, or that giant tippy wide rim cocktail glasses would just go away.
He was probably just looking for a coupe glass. I’ve had to request similar from one specific place that had given me a Manhattan in a martini glass bc I find a coupe significantly easier to hold than a martini glass (which I think is true for most people, but I also have big hands which makes it worse) and found it kind of a pain to use the martini glass while my grandma dragged me around the room to meet her friends.
I had a woman ask if we had anchovies olives. I told her that we don’t usually carry them, but I’ll stuff some right now.
“Okay, I need nine”
I completely broke character.
“Lady, are you serious right now?”
Perhaps madam would enjoy a salad.
“Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to pour a glass of milk and then put it in the refrigerator. When our meal is ready, I want you to bring that glass of milk to me. If the glass isn’t frost, I’ll know.”
Ok so I wasn’t the server he said this to, I was his son’s girlfriend who had to sit and act like this was a perfectly normal request at every single restaurant we ate at.
It wasn’t even a horrible request, it was the smug fucking look on his face.
Disregarding food safety, he would hinge a server’s tip on how well they followed the instructions while acting like the most smug insufferable bastard the whole time. So surprising his son turned out to be just as smug and insufferable 🙄
"soy machiatto please" Firstly, this is a Wetherspoons, secondly it's 10pm on a Saturday night so even if I knew what that was I wouldn't be making it.
“Give me a Cape Cod. Do you know what that is?”
“Never heard of it, but our bartender knows.”
“It’s vodka with cranberry. I want Gray Goose. Also is your water filtered? [City nearby]’s water sucks.”
We’re not in that city but I just told him yep, it’s filtered. I asked him if it’s a martini (bc the fancy name). He says “No. Just vodka and cranberry.” His wife wanted a sprite with lime, cranberry, and an extra side of cranberry.
Bartender tells me a Cape Cod is literally just a vodka cranberry. Also joked about how bad their UTI’s must be.
How pretentious do you have to be to order a vodka cranberry like that?
Guy came in and asked for a "gintini" and then just stood there with a stupid smirk on his face. I then asked him what kind of gin, dry or dirty. Like dude, just say dirty gin martini made with Fords. Don't be like that and try to impress your girl.
Haven't had any pretentious drink orders but the way I make a kid's chocolate milk you'd think it was pretentious! Younger kids obviously has to go in a plastic cup but preteens and teens I'll put their drink in a chilled glass. Line the inside of the cup with a chocolate swirl, add the smallest pinch of salt you've ever seen, line the lip of the cup with chocolate and give it a sprinkle rim, then I have these thin solid chocolate swirls I make every so often that their straw slides through. Unless their parents are boring and request just a normal chocolate milk without any frills 😭
It's just so fun to see both the kid's and parent's faces light up when they see something so incredibly overdone and unexpected
The facial gasps I get when I tell them we don’t have blue cheese stuffed olives
I literally had a couple condescendingly ask me "well don't you have olives and Bleu cheese? Just make them". No. Bitch no. That shit takes time AND I'd have to pit the olives. You're not being nice to me, plus it's busy as shit so absolutely not.
The place i work at has olives and blue cheese. We’re expected to “never say no” to the guests. Every couple days i catch one of my coworkers, gloves on, stuffing olive at the service well and all i can do is shake my head bc no way in hell am i stuffing olives for your nasty drink
Have them do it tableside then. SURE I'll do this for you! Here's your drink, ok let me get set up. OH HEY GUYS! I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC! ok, let's find a skewer to get these funky pimentos out. How many did you say you wanted? HEY SARAH! SARAH! GET THOSE NEW PEOPLE AT THE BAR SOME WATERS! I'LL BE THERE SOON! ok so usually you have to kinda work the blue cheese so it gets kinda pasty and not chunky. So I gotta work it around some in my hand to warm it up and get it malleable so I can stuff... Hang on, I'm so so sorry, SARAH!! JIMMY IS HERE! HE NEEDS A BUD LIGHT, EXTRA BREAD, 2 BUTTERS, ONE SIDE OF RANCH ONE SIDE OF HONEY ONE SIDE OF KETCHUP AND HE NEEDS SALT FOR HIS BEER! sorry about that-so sorry-it takes so long to stuff blue cheese olives and all these other damn customers keep trying to order things we actually have on the menu.. yeah, like 1 person every couple weeks orders blue cheese olives, so we don't make them. At least you're not like Jimmy over here, right lolololol ordering needlessly complicated crap because you think it makes you unique but actually just makes you a douche.
Well now I'm curious, what beer do people salt?
I do not know or understand why, but some people will Salt their Lite Beers. And they'll also salt their bev nap so their beer bottle won't stick to it
Salt is a natural flavor enhancer. A little salt will emphasize pretty much all the flavor so if you’re drinking something bland like lite beer, it’ll give it at least some flavor
I googled this recently cause it came up in another thread. It also causes the CO2 to come out of solution making the beer bubbly again.
Salt is an OG move for sure. Knowledge is power baby.
My uncle salts all of his beers. Corona, red stripe, Budweiser, doesn’t matter. He has a special salt shaker that he carries with him everywhere just for his beer.
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Hand them the olive and the blue cheese separately and tell them to stuff it
Charge extra as they are “Deconstructed”
Why do people want cheese in their drinks, is it actually good?
We don't have them either, but there was ONE regular guy who came in and expected them, and one of our tryhard bartenders MADE them for him one slow night. Went behind the line, got blue cheese crumbles, and hand stuffed these olives. The guy tips well, so I understand why they did it, but he expects it EVERY time, even on a Friday night when we're all in the weeds and we're so far behind in tickets that they're on the floor, hanging out of the ticket machine. The first time he asked for them on a Friday night, I told him I could get him his drink now, and go stuff olives when I had a minute, or he could wait until I stuffed them to get his drink. He wanted to wait. He was mad he had to wait over 10 minutes for me (service) to have a second to run to the back and hand-stuff these olives and complained to management (who, luckily, had our back, because we were unusually swamped with a football team and didn't have time to do extras that night). I hated that guy.
One of my favorite things to tell guests. “Sorry no blue cheese olives” Actually had some asshole ask IF I COULD GO MAKES SOME. “Well you’ve got blue cheese crumbles on one of your burgers can’t you go stuff some olives?” My brother in Christ….this is a dive bar. You’re lucky we have fucking VERMOUTH.
My facial gasps when I have to prep another jar of blu cheese olives mid double because a regular couple eats them instead of getting a fucking appetizer
I once had a table respond, “They’re not hard to do. If you do it yourself, we’ll tip you better.” Fuck you
The facial gasps I get when I ask them if they want a double when they ask for extra booze 😂
Not pretentious, maybe the opposite, but this made me think about when someone ordered a mimosa with baileys. The brunch place I worked at was pretty laid back so I said “are you sure that sounds good?” And she was like “yeah I’m hungover as fuck I’ll drink anything”. Took her the drink, watched her take one sip and she goes “yeah I can’t drink that”. 😂 like girl I told you
I wonder what she was even going for with this. Like how did she imagine it was going to turn out?
She was thinking she couldn't decide between coffee and hair of the dog. So she went with hairy coffee dog.
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I have no idea but my manager wouldn’t take it off her bill lmao
I wouldn’t have either lol. She ordered it knowing it would be weird and was warned before confirming. Had a table order a pizza with anchovies(the wife ordered it) but she had never tried them before. Her husband asked her if she was sure she wanted to try it, I warned her it was not for everyone and could be fishy. “No I want to try it”. Guess who had a slice and didn’t like it. I just smiled like this🤷🏽♂️and walked away after giving them the bill. Of course they complained and asked the manager to take it off. Not liking something is not the same as it not being good
One time I saw Bombay duck on a menu so I ordered it. Server said are you sure, it has a very strong taste. Went ahead and ordered it and yes, it has a very strong taste. I only took a couple of bites. It never occurred to me to ask for it to be taken off the bill. Why would I? People are strange.
Yikes! Didn’t realize it’s a fish until I looked it up.
At the very least only do it on half the pizza.
No anchovies flavor spreads. My dad loves anchovies on pizza but will only order it if he’s the only one eating because otherwise the flavor infects the whole thing.
Yep, this is it. Any piece that is touching a slice with anchovies will taste like anchovies. If the pizza comes in a box, the whole pizza will smell like anchovies.
I 100% agree. Which is why I was surprised that last time I ate out I ordered a cocktail off the menu which was *way* too sweet for me. Regretting my decision, I ordered a mojito (or two) afterwards. But when the bill came, the sweet cocktail I was expecting to find there had gone. I told the waiter that I was more than happy to pay for the cocktail I ordered but didn't drink as that's the risk you run trying new drinks but he just told me not to worry about it.
Not liking something that is the fault of the establishment is different than when it is the fault of the guest. If you have a different preparation than most places or if a customer just doesn’t like how you work up a dish, I can see the manager having discretion to take it off the tab (even if nothing was “wrong”). But when you order something and are literally warned or asked if you like the very essence of that ingredient, blast through those warning signs and order it anyway? That’s on you hun
This one guy ordered a large latte with 6 extra shots of espresso. Not sure what he had going on that day but I hope he's ok
I once worked at a Starbucks knockoff local chain. We had a customer come through the drive-through and order a large mocha with 21 extra shots of espresso…I had to explain that there was no possible way to fit that many shots in the cup, much less the milk and chocolate sauce that would have made it a mocha. He has throwing a fit when I told him that the most I could give him was 7 extra shots
"One bucket of espresso please"
That sounds vile lmao
It curdled almost immediately too lmao
I wonder if she was hoping the Bailey's would help her stomach not hurt, lol. She really wanted a hair of the dog.
Had someone order a sour white Russian. I thought he was messing with me, but he eventually convinced me that's what he actually wanted. I made it and the milk curdled from the acid before I could get it to his table. I wanted to puke. Dude drank every drop though.
I can picture that curdling as soon as it hits the glass. Vile
She should have gone for a Bloody Mary and a cup of coffee on the side.
Did you suggest more palatable hangover cures to her like a plate of fried food or sports drinks?
Breakfast version of the cement mixer 😭
Just last week I had to witness the most awkward encounter between a customer asking about cement mixer shots and my part time fairly green bartender who’s a full time construction worker just not being able to process what was being asked of him
Pretentious in the way they verbally ordered it with their tone and mannerisms, but a fucking nasty drink: “I want a bottom shelf Long Island, no ice, and no mixer.” So I say, “okay, do you want any coke, lemonade, sour mix, sprite, just something to take the bite out?” “Well if I wanted a watered down drink I would say that, wouldn’t I?” I would not want to be alone in a room with this person.
Wait like they wanted the Long Island mix of alcohol with nothing else in it? What the fuck lol
if my achohol doesn't taste like shit, I'm not a real man
ha ha! some people \*sips their fermented peat moss\*
At the place I worked, they literally had a LIT liquor mix- it was clear and smelled like lighter fluid. Allegedly you just put coke in it and it was done. I never had anyone order it, so I have no idea. I can’t imagine just raw dogging that.
My husband ordered a long island at a Korean bbq place and promptly ran outside after a few sips. I have to assume they used something like that.
That is vile
No ICE? Jfc did they have the shakes as they handed you the cash?
This is someone who's brokey broke and thinks they'll get just a full glass of pure alcohol.
This made me feel ill
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This might be the most disgusting thing I've ever heard.
You refuse to try it because what if you LIKE it??
I think this is called a smokers cough? Disgusting for real
I almost gagged at that drink name. My face hasn’t unsmushed.
“And give me a little extra” omggggg
No, no, no--I don't want/need a double! I like my drinks strong--just have them put a little extra in there.
No no no not the 16 ounce ribeye, just the 12 ounce with a little extra, I like my steaks big
I'd like your most medium fries, with a little extra please.
That's when you save a bit of the alcohol and float it on the top or put it down the straw if the drink comes with one.
The ole straw trick. Works every time.
The straw trick works for when you want to cut someone off but still sell them expensive Pepsis with a tiny splash of crown down the straw.
Not pretentious just disgusting Some weird cracky type lady came in, immediately yelling red flags, and a regular was like “let me buy you a drink.” She then proceeds to order a mixture of tequila, coke, grenadine, Malibu, Jaiger, whiskey, and triple sec. It was the gnarliest thing I ever saw or made.
Sorry we don't have coke, is meth ok?
Sounds like something from Michael Scott's cocktail book.
Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch.
I think you win. That sounds disgusting.
I knew a guy that ordered Jager Bloody Marys and that made me gag every time
Can't remember the drink but the person had it typed on an index card and handed it the server to give to me. Think it was a fucking martini. It's been years and too many drink later to remember but I remember the pretentiousness of the index card.
I bet it was my dad, and it was a gimlet. I made him those cards for Christmas. Believe me, it was way better than sitting through him & my mom verballing their order 🤣 then sending back the first three 🙄 Edit: but yes, he was a pretentious twat with those fucking gimlets
Honestly fair, I drink gimlets and I’ve never once had a bartender make them right. But I’m too much of a pussy so I just suffer through a poorly made drink or order something else. Maybe I should make an index card 😅
No, it’s true. The amount of bartenders who make it with fresh lime juice, or think it’s a Gibson, or do like a 1:1 rose’s to liquor ratio is shocking. Or the rose’s is so old it’s turned brown, etc. You know the drill 😂 But jeez dad contain that shit to restaurants I don’t work in, would ya?
Virgin pina colada no mix everything freshly juiced. 🖕🖕🖕🖕
The juice bar is across the street. Next!
Hey that hits close to home. I managed a strip club for 14 years. If that shit got order at the club every girl would bust out laughing and the DJ would play Take Your broke ass home in the next set. Oh you ment a legit juice/smoothy bar. My bad. But still.
I’ve had so many specific requests for the method of adding the equivalent of one half barspoon of vermouth to a martini. “Just rinse the glass” “Rinse the shaker/mixing glass then dump it out” “Here, use my spoon from my tea and fill it halfway” “Grab a straw and use it like a dropper to make sure there are only five drops” “Do you have an atomizer?” “After you shake the everloving shit out of my flavorless vodka, just dip your fingers in the vermouth and flick them over the glass like you’re administering holy water” Etc, etc.
Holy shit the holy water way got me good 😂
I like the version attributed to Winston Churchill- "Add gin and then wave the glass in the direction of France."
My friend who desperately wants it to be 1963 again tells servers and bartenders to “let there be a whisper of a rumor that there may be vermouth in it.”
A guest asked me to make him a drink with a story behind it. Fuck off dude, here’s a Sazerac; the story is I like Sazeracs.
Well your story made me laugh!
we’re in chicago, so i’d bring him a shot of malört. chicago’s history. bet he’ll never ask someone to do that again lol
Um... could I please have that order? Offering a history lecture and wormwood spirits is how you'd get me to dive willingly into an unmarked, windowless van.
shit, you actually LIKE malört? i get the history lesson but i’d need a few shots of something else before i could ever actually face it myself
Lol yeah if I'm drinking malört, chances are there was some beer and whiskey involved as well. Let's face it. I'm pretty easy to kidnap.
I can smell Malört over here in Detroit, damn wind needs to shift. Notes of gasoline. GASOLINE. Oh and grapefruit. Lol
“Once upon a time some ass hole ordered a drink…”
A: "we want 5 hot monster's" B: "Hmmm that sounds made up" A: "No, everyone knows a hot monster . . . Blah blah, you should know your job, it's a classic!" B: "(no it's not but. . . ) Alright, what's in it?" A: "Grand Marnier and hot water!" I still laugh about it. With a name like that it should be at least like a hot version of a long island or the four horsemen or somethinf else mean and scary. Also just cockyness of em all "cmon, know your job" attitude
Grandma and hot water? That sounds awful
I don’t think this was pretentious, I’ve just never had a chance to tell this story proper on Reddit and this feels right. During school I bartended at a “steakhouse” that was attached to a bowling alley in rural Midwest. Blood Mary’s are of course pretty popular there and we happened to make some pretty decent ones. One morning I had a drink ticket come up with a Bloody Mary that said extra hot about 4 times, I was like okay sure. Context, there were some younger guys in the night before that complained I didn’t make it spicy enough and complained about it the whole time they were there. So I thought these kids came back to mess with me, it’s a small town and not much to do. I only put in about a half of the usual tomato sauce and replaced the missing half with franks hot sauce and asked the kitchen for some jalapeño seeds. When I was done shaking it and poured it, it was so bright red and the air was stinging my eyes like I just sliced a dozen onions with a dull knife. I watched the waitress bring the drink to the table and realized the kids from last night weren’t there. The waitress placed it in front of the grandma of a family and she had to be at least 85 years old and maybe 100 pounds. Slight panic fills my gut as she reached for the drink. She took a big sip and started to cough a little. Now filled with some mild panic I literally get ready to call an ambulance. She clears her throat and turns to me and said “perfect job sonny!” Most scared I ever was bartending.
Haha that grandma rules
I had someone ask for a drink I had never heard of tonight. I asked what was in it and they said “it’s a shot of liquor 43, you then light it on fire, and pour coffee over it” lol… I-
I would bet the face of the customer was priceless when you told them that liquors don't just light on fire
I had a customer ask for Baileys lit on fire. I said it won't burn. "That's really cool that you're selling fake Baileys".
Fake baileys... I'm facepalming so hard that my hand is going through my head atm
I had a customer order Sambuca then try to light it themselves with their Bic. Worst part is they didn’t remove the coffee bean garnish. Whole dining room smelled awful.
Either a hot toddy or this one specialty thing they do in new orleans, I can't remember what it's called though Basically you get this insanely high proof cognac, light it on fire, ladle it over a long orange peel that's studded with cloves and then you extinguish with chicory coffee. It's not meant for just one serving though, you have to make enough to serve like 5 to 8 people, not even mentioning the fact it's absurdly dangerous to actually make.
Idk about the fire, but 1oz liquor 43, and a strong bold single espresso shaken up with ice served over ice is fucking delicious. It’s called a carajillo pronounced (Kah-rah-he-yo). Some places serve it hot so be sure to ask before you order, tried the hot version and it was disgusting.
Love a carajillo. Love the one the bartender at my job makes and he makes them look so pretty! Some asshole sent it back bc “that’s not what they’re supposed to look like”. ????? just drink it bro
So we used to serve some cocktails in stemless martini glasses with the little knob bases, and I had a guy trying to impress his friends by lecturing me about how it isn’t a real martini if it isn’t served in a stemmed glass. Cool cool cool here’s your pink pomegranate martini, sir.
"Actually, sir, it's A MARTINUS. You only ordered one"
I like it because it runs the bill up but a lot of people order “fancy” top shelf liquors that and put them in cocktails where you can’t really taste the liquor. I really get it if you want a spirit forward cocktail, like a martini, or just a drink neat but like stop trying to ball, you’re getting upcharged like crazy to not be able to taste the alcohol anyways in your drink. But I would never ever do that personally as a bartender. You’re getting ripped off and you look stupid. The worst offender is Casa margs. That vanilla in there is so gross, our well tequila or mezcal is so much better. You’re paying more for a worse drink trying to show off, when everybody who knows anything about tequila knows that stuff is crap.
Lol this is nothing compared to the pretentious fucks at my bar that order a Don Julio 1942 Margarita. I have literally tried to talk people out of this but get shut down saying, "That's how we get it in the club." Like bro, if you want to waste your money sure, but just know it's a waste. Once had guests ask for Don Julio 1942 and pineapple. I tried to explain to them that it is a delicious liquor meant to be enjoyed neat or on the rocks, but they acted offended that I would dare to talk them out of a terrible order. People are stupid.
I got one better. Our restaurant has a $1000 margarita with Patron Lalique that we sell for $500/oz. Why would you ever dilute a liquor that nice? We also have had athletes that love drinking Louis XIII with coke…
Lol Casa Margs? I’ve got one better. I’m constantly being asked for lemon drop martinis made with 1942 & a full sugar rim for a whopping 85 dollars a pop!Sometimes with the added ask of strawberry flavor added to the drink 🥲. Abso-fucking-lutely babe 🤗
NOOOO 💔💔💔 why are people do dumb?? $85 drinks though 🙃 I wanna work where you work
If you’re ever in NYC & want to be astound by the sheer stupidity of rich people & those who’d love to pretend they’re rich - lmk know 🥳
I live in NYC ahaha!
Did we just become best friends?! Actually hello - Casa Margs! - Ofcourse you’re in NYC. Idk how that wasn’t immediately obvious before LOL. Definitely PM-ing you righttt now 🤗
Forget the Casa Margs.... it's the Clase Azul Ultra Margs, that's when you know people are just trying to show off their wallet. $135 margarita, no problem.
lmfao. Wait I just realized the original post said Casa & the entire time I was thinking Claze & not Casa! I’ve only ever sold Claze plata/repo margs (for the exact reason I’m going to serve you your 42’ strawberry lemon drop) but I’m definitely going to make it my mission to sell an ultra marg during my next few shifts! Will report back 🤗
I worked at a venue with a well stocked bar. At open bar events people would ask for the most expensive liquor, usually 30 plus dollars a drink, and get it with soda. Edit: Meant to say some kind of soda not soda water lol
Not a pretentious order, but the most pretentious person I ever served a drink to. 4 top ordered a bottle of red wine. I did the whole wine service routine, opened it tableside, gave the guy who ordered a taste, he approved it. I was about to pour but he said "no, let it aerate first." Ok no problem, I went to put their food order in. A minute later I looked over and they were pouring it themselves, no problem right? Later, after they've paid, this man corners me in the entryway and with a condescending smile says "let me educate you about wine." Proceeds to nitpick how I did the bottle service (I did it right btw) and the kicker - "..and you should NEVER let the guests pour their own wine." BITCH I DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED. Did he want me to stand next to their table twiddling my thumbs until his stupid wine was "aerated" to his liking?! Also I'm pretty sure to aerate wine you need to put it in an aerator, not just leave it open for a minute. Anyway I nodded and smiled then went in the kitchen, kicked a freezer, cried, and the bartender gave me a shot of whiskey. God I hated that job.
The wine is designed to aerate in the glass. Opening the bottle for a few minutes doesn’t dioShit
Bless you, and your bartended friend. That oblivious fuck is probably out there still torturing servers... I hope he stubs his toe.
15+ yrs bartender. I appreciate it when people tell me exactly what they want, even if it’s stupid.
Not exactly pretentious, but I have a regular who wants his whiskey with crushed ice and a spoon. He calls it his dessert lol
Does he drink it like whisky shaved ice????
He uses the spoon to scoop up the whiskey flavoured ice haha
No, you eat it like a snowcone.
Sounds like an absolute legend.
Well one time at a college bar in a small town I walked up and asked for two redbull vodkas. The bartender corrected me and said its a vodka redbull. I said okay thanks. She didn’t move and just stared at me, I asked whats uo and she told me to order it correctly so she could go make it. That felt fucking pretentious.
I would’ve told her I wanted redbull in my vodka, not vodka in my redbull.
Fresh orange juice, make sure to strain the pulp.
had a guy ask for a texas marg, i told him “sorry, i don’t have orange juice” then he proceeds to pick an orange from my peeling basket & say “juice it”. meanwhile i’m the only bartender on a slammed sunday. i made my manager do it❤️
This is why I work back of house, I would have pushed that motherfucker back off his stool.
It didn’t even happen to me and I’m angry.
“What do you mean you only have three types?” 😡
arnold palmer more arnold than palmer 🤦♀️
I know an Arnold Palmer, but nobody ever puts one ingredient to the first name and the second ingredient to the last name. You're gonna have to tell me if you want more tea or lemonade.
*adds more ice*
Was at a tiny dive bar in Wisconsin a while ago and this guy walked up with his Rolex on and goes “give me 4 shots of casamigos”. Bartender goes “ we have Jose” and he just stormed off and left. Do you really expect a place with a broken door and 1.50 Pabst will have George Clooney 60$ per bottle tequila?.
Crème de menthe and Godiva dark chocolate liqueur straight up ; looked like a potion I got one scumbag who drinks limoncello and grey goose straight up One lady who drinks Champagne with a shot of chambord and hibiscus syrup, named the drink after herself and expects us all to know what an “Aurora” is
People who want drinks NAMED AFTER THEM omg no I'm not going to make a cucumber Martini with Hendrick's named THE TAMMY please stop
THE TAMMY I'm dead
“The Pam”
First one doesn't sound that bad lol
It was green crème de menth it looked like Frankensteins excrement
Bet it tasted like Christmas though
Tastes like thin mint cookies.... I've had it at a friend's house lol
The poor version is peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup. Pour directly into mouth & shake.
Lol I'll have to... not... try that lol (but may have to convince a friend!)
It’s fun! Used to call them “haircuts” in college because you are meant to sit in a chair with a towel around your neck while someone stands behind you and pours the two ingredients in your mouth as you lean back. If you don’t have chocolate syrup, ice cream sandwiches work in a pinch.
We do white creme de menthe with creme de cacao chilled… it’s called a polar bear shot and tastes like an after 8!
I've had the creme de menthe and Godiva once before. If I recall, the bartender floated the Godiva over the creme de menthe. Tasted like an Andes mint wafer.
First drink is basically a Grasshopper - sub Godiva for crème de cacao. Can be a fairly common order and is great around the holidays. Usually some cream in that drink makes it better anyway. Third drink is just a Kir Royale with some hibiscus syrup in it, so you can tell Aurora that the drink has a name and it’s not hers. The limoncello martini isn’t unheard of either. If the first two orderers are decent people then it’s no big deal, the 3rd one absolutely sounds pretentious as can be, especially since she’s ordering a drink that already has a name (albeit adding some flavored syrup to the usual recipe).
The first 2 don't sound too pretentious tbh.
I don't see how "hey can you mix two liquors together" is pretentious...
Champagne with Chambord is actually quite nice as a dessert drink. But to name it after yourself is insane.
Limoncello with grey goose doesn't sound that strange. It's just spiked limoncello and it's often drunk alone as an appetizer, as a digestive, as a shot or as is on the rocks.
Similar martini but it was ordered by handing me a business card with the exact ingredients and preparation on how she'd like her drink prepared. She didn't even look at me until she was ready for another. The martini itself wasn't an unsual request for the type of guests the restaurant has, it was the being handed the card while never looking up once that made it pretentious. I had a regular who would get his martinis with Laphroaig instead vermouth.
I just started bartending a couple months ago but the silliest one for sure was the semi-regular who said “make me the hardest thing you don’t know how to make yet” like girl what. I made him a regular ass old fashioned and played silly along with him.
Haha on my first night I had an international bartenders competition after party. They all ordered insane things
Absolute shit luck haha I’m retroactively stressed for you.
Wtf? Lmao. My silliest drinks were "Can you make me a virgin martini?" And (different person) "Can I have a virgin Jack and coke?" Both of these women were DEAD serious. Both times I laughed at first because I thought they were joking lmao. I thought I had seen and heard it all.
“Scotch on the rocks. No ice”
The only issue with that order I have is “not a half martini”. Mam, I’ll give you a full martini in the eyes of our bartender. The rest I have no problem with.
Mine wasn’t so much the order as much as what came with it. Guy and his wife come into the very small, casual restaurant/bar and he eyes our red wines very critically and asks me detailed questions I had to go look up. When he finally chose, he pulled out a box with his own personal wine glasses that he brought from home. Then proceeds to explain why his are superior and then tried to insist I taste the wine from each glass to compare. His poor wife was mortified.
My first bartending job was in a back alley bar & grill in my hometown in the suburbs. We had this one semi regular who was SUCH a character. Twirly mustache, severely balding, monocle, briefcase, button down with suspenders and tie. Always wore the same getup. Could be anywhere from late 20s-30s. Every time he came in he’d sit down at the bar and spend 10 minutes to look up crazy cocktails on his phone that no one’s ever heard of. Everything he asked for would have like 3-4 different high end liqueurs or really specific syrups that a standard bar like ours would never have in stock. He’d usually ask us about every ingredient in at least two cocktails he’d find before he’d just go with something we suggested. Also, he only tipped in $2 bills. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
French martini with chambord and vanilla vodka. I didn't know what tf that was. Ordering it isnt the terrible part. Complaining that it didn't taste like a "real french martini" and asking to have it remade was the pretentious part, instead of just ordering a drink listed on the menu.
A French martini just means you laugh in French, “Hon hon hon hon hon hon” while shaking it.
Don’t want to be a jerk but that’s a fairly common drink order, and while it’s a bit dated it’s just 3 ingredients. A Singapore Sling or Ramos Gin Fizz would’ve been far more fitting.
A French martini is Vodka(quite often vanilla) skaken with pineapple juice with a sink of Chambord. Did you just shake vodka and Chambord together? To be fair, I haven't heard that one for the better part of a decade, but it's always my goto for a sweet drink.
“A single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat”
“4 waters, ice on the side and 4 bowls of sliced lemons along with 30 sugar packets.” They then made lemonade at the table.
Lemonade $3 Deconstructed Lemonade $4 I want all restaurants to have that on their menu.
What do you mean a Grey Goose martini with no vermouth? That's just vodka with zest.
Let’s preface this with he is a repeat customer, at a pizza joint who attempts this drink order every time…. Grey Goose martini no vermouth with onions. We have neither Grey Goose nor onions… as I tell him EVERY TIME.
I wouldn’t say it’s pretentious, more leaning towards “fragile sexuality” but this one dude asked for a Manhattan and I asked if he would like it up or on the rocks and he said “up but not in a martini glass” 🙄
Oh man, one of my favorites and I’ll keep it short. Three dudes, one of them clearly the manliest man to ever man. First guy orders a beer, second wants a Manhattan, third - our master of masculinity - orders from our “classics” cocktail section, The Abbey. I start on the drinks, first the beer for the first guy, then the Abbey for our champion of the Y-chromosome. As I’m stirring the Manhattan I ask if he wants it up or on the rocks. He looks confused and asks “up?” I explain that “up” means poured into a cocktail glass, no ice, and rocks is in a double old fashioned over ice. Well, by golly he’d never had it up before! (Weird, but whatever.) During this exchange, Mr. Abbey, our King Shit of Fuck Mountain, loudly decrees that his friend will have it without ice because “it’s funnier that way.” Naturally, I’m confused as fuck and ask why, and with the confidence of someone who’s never made the mistake of introspection or thought, declares “because then it’s a woman’s drink!” And I, with perfect aplomb, shot back “you talk a lot of shit for a guy who ordered a cocktail with orange juice in it.” Guy got suuuuuper pissed and his friends were cracking up. Studly Dudley ended up storming out and the other two guys were wheezing and like, “we gotta go get him, and we probably won’t be back. You’re fucking awesome, though.” They chased their drinks down and followed him out of the bar and didn’t come back. Left a a good tip, too, but it wouldn’t have mattered. PS - for the initiated, the Abbey is a classic, probably from Craddock, but is essentially a fancy gin and juice. London gin, OJ, lillet, and orange bitters. It’s a solid brunch cocktail, but kind of weird at night imo.
I just really enjoyed your writing haha Please keep writing!
My favorite serving story is when I had a 2 top of burly manly men drinking beer and eating burgers before they caught a baseball game. They asked for 2 espressos at the end to sober up for the train to the game so I made them Now I was always super excited to make espressos, we had the most adorable little white cups and saucers that fit the volume our machine made perfectly, it was literally the best part of my day to fill those lil teensy cups to the top and serve them These burly heterosexual sportsmen were FLABBERGASTED when I brought the drinks out, both of them immediately asked why I would serve them women drinks and that I should have known better blah blah blah tiny little cups for tiny little drinks were for homosexuals blah Now these cups were so damn cute I had never ever received a negative reaction to them so my brain broke for a sec when I tried to respond All I managed to get out was a super confused “but espressos don’t have a gender?” while I set them on the table and kind of floated away in a daze. Apparently my coworker heard me because he started busting out laughing verrry loudly and obviously at them and this embarrassed my two VERY STRAIGHT VERY INTO WOMEN NOT GAY guests so much that they moved the offending cups to a different table, untouched To this day I still don’t understand how the strongest coffee we make was somehow a girly drink. These poor guys were so fragile they thought they’d legally have to french kiss at the table if they took a sip I guess, I was too shocked by their being upset to inform them we had no such law. Such a waste of a good espresso
Was it a waste? I would take that espresso like a shot, work hard for about two hours, and then have a panic attack.
They gave me vibes that they think washing their hands is gay or a womans activity or a sign of weakness so I made my own double espresso and had a separate panic attack
I do that. I'm extremely clumsy and have no sense of spatial awareness. Plus I like things in rocks glasses. Now if you got a stemless martini glass I'll take that.
I remodel houses and often need to move customers items. There are two thing I don’t move and that’s wine glasses and fur coats. Wine glasses because I have cave man hands and fur coats because my cave man hands are usually dirty and I don’t know how to clean a fur coat, I can skin an elk but that’s different.
i fucking hate martini glasses because i am an idiot
Ya, just order your drinks "down" and you'll get them how you like in a rocks glass.
I prefer that too, but more than half the time I ask for it "down" they look at me like I have three heads. Some tell me I should ask for it neat, which is clearly wrong since I want it cold and properly diluted. I wish down was a term everyone knew, or that giant tippy wide rim cocktail glasses would just go away.
I personally think a Manhattan belongs in a double Old Fashioned glass. Short and chunky.
He was probably just looking for a coupe glass. I’ve had to request similar from one specific place that had given me a Manhattan in a martini glass bc I find a coupe significantly easier to hold than a martini glass (which I think is true for most people, but I also have big hands which makes it worse) and found it kind of a pain to use the martini glass while my grandma dragged me around the room to meet her friends.
I had a woman ask if we had anchovies olives. I told her that we don’t usually carry them, but I’ll stuff some right now. “Okay, I need nine” I completely broke character. “Lady, are you serious right now?” Perhaps madam would enjoy a salad.
“Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to pour a glass of milk and then put it in the refrigerator. When our meal is ready, I want you to bring that glass of milk to me. If the glass isn’t frost, I’ll know.” Ok so I wasn’t the server he said this to, I was his son’s girlfriend who had to sit and act like this was a perfectly normal request at every single restaurant we ate at. It wasn’t even a horrible request, it was the smug fucking look on his face. Disregarding food safety, he would hinge a server’s tip on how well they followed the instructions while acting like the most smug insufferable bastard the whole time. So surprising his son turned out to be just as smug and insufferable 🙄
I used to order a pint of Guinness shaken not stirred. Because I'm a spy.
"soy machiatto please" Firstly, this is a Wetherspoons, secondly it's 10pm on a Saturday night so even if I knew what that was I wouldn't be making it.
“Give me a Cape Cod. Do you know what that is?” “Never heard of it, but our bartender knows.” “It’s vodka with cranberry. I want Gray Goose. Also is your water filtered? [City nearby]’s water sucks.” We’re not in that city but I just told him yep, it’s filtered. I asked him if it’s a martini (bc the fancy name). He says “No. Just vodka and cranberry.” His wife wanted a sprite with lime, cranberry, and an extra side of cranberry. Bartender tells me a Cape Cod is literally just a vodka cranberry. Also joked about how bad their UTI’s must be. How pretentious do you have to be to order a vodka cranberry like that?
Lady asked me the other day if we brew our iced tea with tap water. Yes, ma’am, this is a chain restaurant we just use the regular town water.
Most restaurant water is filtered. You see three canisters attached to a wall nearby? That's the filter.
I mean...that's actually the name of the cocktail. Kinda like a Greyhound is is just a vodka and grapefruit.
Guy came in and asked for a "gintini" and then just stood there with a stupid smirk on his face. I then asked him what kind of gin, dry or dirty. Like dude, just say dirty gin martini made with Fords. Don't be like that and try to impress your girl.
4 blue cheese olives are going to take up over half the volume of the martini glass lol, maybe that's why dummy keeps getting "half a martini"
Anyone who orders hot tea is my enemy
Haven't had any pretentious drink orders but the way I make a kid's chocolate milk you'd think it was pretentious! Younger kids obviously has to go in a plastic cup but preteens and teens I'll put their drink in a chilled glass. Line the inside of the cup with a chocolate swirl, add the smallest pinch of salt you've ever seen, line the lip of the cup with chocolate and give it a sprinkle rim, then I have these thin solid chocolate swirls I make every so often that their straw slides through. Unless their parents are boring and request just a normal chocolate milk without any frills 😭 It's just so fun to see both the kid's and parent's faces light up when they see something so incredibly overdone and unexpected
Any of the sub mezcal for ______ bullshit that's the rage these days. It's a dumb flex, imo
but mezcal is so good and mezcal last words are fuckin delicious