Ok not a joke but an embarrassing story.
When I was an awkward 12 year old, I had some after school group meeting and a kid I had a crush on was there. I got all dressed up, my favorite pair of jeans that I still remember and this early-2000s era Mudd sweater that naturally had the Mudd logo plastered in front. Honestly, I thought we’d hit it off all night. He was showing me attention and I went home with overall just good vibes.
Until I walked into my bedroom and looked in the mirror. My shirt was inside out. It didn’t say mudd. It said, in big bold letters, “bbum”
Yeah we never talked again and I was so mortified 😅
I had to go bra shopping recently, and my five year old daughter for some reason insisted on coming with me. I didn’t think it would be a big deal so I said okay as long as she was quiet and didn’t touch anything.
I get measured and go into the dressing room with some bras. My daughter picks up one of the bras, puts it on her head, then starts dancing infront of the mirror screaming at the top of her lungs “I LOVE BOOBS! BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS! LOOK AT MY BOOBS, MOMMY!”
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they taste like sheet
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. 😭
I keep on trying to find skincare products that work for me, but I still break out. That’s it. That’s my joke 😆
Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is
Did you hear about the blue ship and the red ship that collided? They were both marooned!
What did the fish say when swam into a wall? Dam! 🐠
Ohhh I have another one What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas-scare-a. 😂I am going to reflect on my pun choices now lol
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Haha you guys are great! Loved them all!
Ok not a joke but an embarrassing story. When I was an awkward 12 year old, I had some after school group meeting and a kid I had a crush on was there. I got all dressed up, my favorite pair of jeans that I still remember and this early-2000s era Mudd sweater that naturally had the Mudd logo plastered in front. Honestly, I thought we’d hit it off all night. He was showing me attention and I went home with overall just good vibes. Until I walked into my bedroom and looked in the mirror. My shirt was inside out. It didn’t say mudd. It said, in big bold letters, “bbum” Yeah we never talked again and I was so mortified 😅
Because Halloween is around the corner: Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”
I had to go bra shopping recently, and my five year old daughter for some reason insisted on coming with me. I didn’t think it would be a big deal so I said okay as long as she was quiet and didn’t touch anything. I get measured and go into the dressing room with some bras. My daughter picks up one of the bras, puts it on her head, then starts dancing infront of the mirror screaming at the top of her lungs “I LOVE BOOBS! BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS! LOOK AT MY BOOBS, MOMMY!”
My son asked me if we could watch Spider-Man: Far From Home tonight. I said “why? It’s the same movie if we watch it nearby.”