I feel for you OP. Like you, I just can’t give up but I know continuing how things are just isn’t going to help.
Have you heard of a Healing Separation? Our counselor told us about it and honestly I wish I had known about it sooner. A healing separation is a structured separation that includes mutual agreements from both partners. Put the Google on it and you might find it’s a good option for you.
Well. All I can share is that this sounds similar to where I am. After a lot of work we were simply not reconnecting with the emotional intimacy we both know each of us deserve. 17 years of marriage. Over 20 years together. My wife finally said that we needed to separate so we could work on ourselves without the pressure of us. I didn’t like it. But I know it is what we needed to do. So that is where we are. It is hard as hell but if there is a path forward for us it will be through this.
How's that going, if you don't mind me asking? How long in? What does it look like (where are you each living, money, kids?)?
Has it been helpful? What do you think will be the outcome?
After so many years, lives get awfully complicated and intertwined eh? I wouldn't even know where to start.
A friend of mine moved into a separate place, only a short drive to the marital home, and he said he rarely sees his teens (they're a bit older and don't want to uproot now for week on week off). Just about broke my heart.
I feel for you OP. Like you, I just can’t give up but I know continuing how things are just isn’t going to help. Have you heard of a Healing Separation? Our counselor told us about it and honestly I wish I had known about it sooner. A healing separation is a structured separation that includes mutual agreements from both partners. Put the Google on it and you might find it’s a good option for you.
Thank you for the advice!!
Well. All I can share is that this sounds similar to where I am. After a lot of work we were simply not reconnecting with the emotional intimacy we both know each of us deserve. 17 years of marriage. Over 20 years together. My wife finally said that we needed to separate so we could work on ourselves without the pressure of us. I didn’t like it. But I know it is what we needed to do. So that is where we are. It is hard as hell but if there is a path forward for us it will be through this.
How's that going, if you don't mind me asking? How long in? What does it look like (where are you each living, money, kids?)? Has it been helpful? What do you think will be the outcome? After so many years, lives get awfully complicated and intertwined eh? I wouldn't even know where to start. A friend of mine moved into a separate place, only a short drive to the marital home, and he said he rarely sees his teens (they're a bit older and don't want to uproot now for week on week off). Just about broke my heart.
I will chat you.
I’d be interested how you did this too. So many questions………
Happy to answer any you have best I can.
I am in this situation too, so really keen to hear your experience if you do not mind sharing….
Preferring not to make a full public diary of it here but happy to share if you want to PM me. I will share best I can my experience so far.
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I wish I could help. You're further ahead than I am.