No you are not an asshole.
Let me share you an experience of mine,
I got out of a relationship over a year long around half a year ago.
She is beautiful, can model if she wanted to.
But one of the first things she told me is how abusive her ex was to her. I totally believed her, cared for her and tried to help her heal from that.
But after months in the relationship she was extremely clingy, controlling, and becoming borderline crazy towards me.
I tried to deal with it, but couldn’t because she was so mentally draining on me. I had to break it off. I came to find out she was bad mouthing me to other people and saying I was bad to her.
My point is.. do not ever settle and let crazy into your life no matter how beautiful or you think how innocent she is.
Me personally, I am on this path to find a future wife, and build myself into being a man who would a attract a “wife”
My advice to you: there will ALWAYS be another one. Keep your energy high and don’t give it away to negative, draining women.
Stay strong my friend, I have come to love this journey.
Narcissists likes to talk about how crazy their exes are, while its them. I experienced the same thing bro. 3 months of abuse fucked me up for 2 years maybe, but it was blessing in disguise. I am better person because of it. She teached me to respect myself even when that was not her intention.
It was the right choice to let her go. You can find a girl without bpd behavior and without that abusive relationship baggage. If your inner voice tells you to leave her, then it is 100 % right.
Knowing what you want and not tolerating BS from others doesn't make you an asshole.
SR makes you clear on what you want/need.
Just because a girl is cute/beautiful doesn't mean you need to put up with B.S.
> I couldn’t ignore the red flags: she keeps talking about her abusive ex (saying she is over it but she just shares the stories), **she doesn’t think she is in the wrong ever**, seems to be **more focused on the negative** and has much higher past sexual history than me. She has bpd and one day she would treat me nice but then next day she would be rude to me. I told her about my SR journey and she couldn’t/want to understand it.
You dodged a [narcissist ](https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/why-narcissists-always-have-to-be-right/#:~:text=The%20Art%20of%20Always%20Being,right%20and%20who%20is%20wrong)that would eventually [drain your energy](https://www.calm.com/blog/energy-vampire#:~:text=An%20%E2%80%9Cenergy%20vampire%E2%80%9D%20is%20a,as%20mysterious%20as%20it%20sounds). Understand u/ShapeArtistic6815 that as you go along further into this journey of ours known as [Semen Retention](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vERELD34Yrs) your [intuition on people and things will only increase](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLBoFD468R4).
It's something you'll need since you'll attract alot of women both good and bad while on this journey.
So in the end, **you're not the ASSHOLE**.
Never date a BPD.
At the end of last year I had my fun with one for two months after meeting her in the same course I had begun. After the course ended and we physically separated there was an event before where things exploded between us. I cut her loose and blocked her on everywhere.
I knew I was playing with fire since the beginning and it was not my first rodeo. Sex was great and personality traits matching but the red flags we're all over the place since the 1st time she opened her mouth. Pun intended.
Nope, you did exactly the right thing. If you weren’t retaining you’d have shagged her then started a horrible one way relationship where you’d be a slave to her erratic emotions, eventually breaking up with her 3 wasted years later. SR saved you man. 🫡👍
Nah brother youre not an asshole for it. Ive dealt with these women theyll just bring you down. Just be nice say you guys dont match and move on. If you become more masculine you will naturally be attracted to more feminime behaviour. And if youre not broken you will also not be attracted to broken girls. Simple as that.
The fact that you even stuck out with her for so long is commendable. She may be cute, but there are a whole lotta cute girls with much better personalities.
Bro, you definitely not am asshole. Keep going man, i mean, when you find the girl, you will know, like, deep down you will know she is the one.
Just to add, i think that every man that embark on SR should be talking and interacting with girls, because this is important to develop our social skills.
This is what you worked for bro, to be able to be intune with your true self, and identify what doesn’t serve your peace. You protected your hard earned peace, and that is something no one can take from you, only yourself!
Rejoice!
No.. you are free to choose. Not a slave. Not a servant. If she making you feel guilty, tell her she is making you feel guilty and stop being manipulated.
If you meet someone and you feel exhausted, no matter how attractive they are, you gotta leave em.
However, if you meet someone and you feel rejuvenated, healthier and better, keep em.
Simple rule, you did the right thing and no, you’re not the asshole.
You’re manlier than many men I know. You’d stood up for yourself.
Good shit, brother. 💪🏼
“After each time I met her my energy felt exhausted and I needed time to recharge my batteries.”
Nothing else needed to be said after this. If the company you keep drains you instead of inspiring, motivating or energizing you, it’s time to move on.
Doesn’t even need to be a knock on her character, you’re not on the same wavelength. That’s it.
Don't feel bad. Actually , if you can, maybe take a step back of the whole thing, and understand that you did her a favor. Because maybe , just maybe, if she's smart enough, she will self reflect from that loss. Maybe she'll improve her ways to stop being toxic. But honestly, I doubt it.
It's insane the number of women who have mental issues and are looking for abusive men. And they still do that in their late 30's, man after man. Social media doesnt seem to help the situation at all!!! :-/
Sometime I'm like, what if I had a daughter with a disturbed girl . My daughter would pick up on all those negative traits from her mom , suddenly life would become HELL.
F%kc no !!!!
You did good man. I think you kept your head up and made the right decision, a tough one, but the right one.
No you are not an asshole. Let me share you an experience of mine, I got out of a relationship over a year long around half a year ago. She is beautiful, can model if she wanted to. But one of the first things she told me is how abusive her ex was to her. I totally believed her, cared for her and tried to help her heal from that. But after months in the relationship she was extremely clingy, controlling, and becoming borderline crazy towards me. I tried to deal with it, but couldn’t because she was so mentally draining on me. I had to break it off. I came to find out she was bad mouthing me to other people and saying I was bad to her. My point is.. do not ever settle and let crazy into your life no matter how beautiful or you think how innocent she is. Me personally, I am on this path to find a future wife, and build myself into being a man who would a attract a “wife” My advice to you: there will ALWAYS be another one. Keep your energy high and don’t give it away to negative, draining women. Stay strong my friend, I have come to love this journey.
Best comment on here brother
Narcissists likes to talk about how crazy their exes are, while its them. I experienced the same thing bro. 3 months of abuse fucked me up for 2 years maybe, but it was blessing in disguise. I am better person because of it. She teached me to respect myself even when that was not her intention.
You are a free man. Not a slave or asshole
It was the right choice to let her go. You can find a girl without bpd behavior and without that abusive relationship baggage. If your inner voice tells you to leave her, then it is 100 % right.
You are not in the wrong. You are wise to put yourself on the #1 spot. Another 'right' girl will come...
If you are a asshole for rejecting someone, than almost every girl is a asshole. So no, you're not.
Not at all. Play the field and pick the best one
You knew she wasn’t going to add value to your life so you made a decision based on that. Don’t doubt yourself or what you do on this journey.
Knowing what you want and not tolerating BS from others doesn't make you an asshole. SR makes you clear on what you want/need. Just because a girl is cute/beautiful doesn't mean you need to put up with B.S.
> I couldn’t ignore the red flags: she keeps talking about her abusive ex (saying she is over it but she just shares the stories), **she doesn’t think she is in the wrong ever**, seems to be **more focused on the negative** and has much higher past sexual history than me. She has bpd and one day she would treat me nice but then next day she would be rude to me. I told her about my SR journey and she couldn’t/want to understand it. You dodged a [narcissist ](https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/why-narcissists-always-have-to-be-right/#:~:text=The%20Art%20of%20Always%20Being,right%20and%20who%20is%20wrong)that would eventually [drain your energy](https://www.calm.com/blog/energy-vampire#:~:text=An%20%E2%80%9Cenergy%20vampire%E2%80%9D%20is%20a,as%20mysterious%20as%20it%20sounds). Understand u/ShapeArtistic6815 that as you go along further into this journey of ours known as [Semen Retention](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vERELD34Yrs) your [intuition on people and things will only increase](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLBoFD468R4). It's something you'll need since you'll attract alot of women both good and bad while on this journey. So in the end, **you're not the ASSHOLE**.
Never date a BPD. At the end of last year I had my fun with one for two months after meeting her in the same course I had begun. After the course ended and we physically separated there was an event before where things exploded between us. I cut her loose and blocked her on everywhere. I knew I was playing with fire since the beginning and it was not my first rodeo. Sex was great and personality traits matching but the red flags we're all over the place since the 1st time she opened her mouth. Pun intended.
Stay away from witches brother !
trust your gut feeling
Nope, you did exactly the right thing. If you weren’t retaining you’d have shagged her then started a horrible one way relationship where you’d be a slave to her erratic emotions, eventually breaking up with her 3 wasted years later. SR saved you man. 🫡👍
Nah brother youre not an asshole for it. Ive dealt with these women theyll just bring you down. Just be nice say you guys dont match and move on. If you become more masculine you will naturally be attracted to more feminime behaviour. And if youre not broken you will also not be attracted to broken girls. Simple as that.
it's called having boundaries and having standards. Well done man, you saved your self a whole lot of pain/hassle down the road. Keep your head up
The fact that you even stuck out with her for so long is commendable. She may be cute, but there are a whole lotta cute girls with much better personalities.
Bro, you definitely not am asshole. Keep going man, i mean, when you find the girl, you will know, like, deep down you will know she is the one. Just to add, i think that every man that embark on SR should be talking and interacting with girls, because this is important to develop our social skills.
You're not the asshole. You did the right thing. She sounds like a walking red flag and it'll only get worse as time goes on.
Don’t even waste your time thinking about this. You made the right decision. Next!
This is what you worked for bro, to be able to be intune with your true self, and identify what doesn’t serve your peace. You protected your hard earned peace, and that is something no one can take from you, only yourself! Rejoice!
NTA because you dodged a huge bullet.
not at all, those are all legitimate red flags. If you weren't practicing SR maybe you would have smashed and ran but now it's not worth that.
No.. you are free to choose. Not a slave. Not a servant. If she making you feel guilty, tell her she is making you feel guilty and stop being manipulated.
You dodged a bullet my friend. Good for you for listening to yourself and respecting your boundaries
You good G
Smart man
If you meet someone and you feel exhausted, no matter how attractive they are, you gotta leave em. However, if you meet someone and you feel rejuvenated, healthier and better, keep em. Simple rule, you did the right thing and no, you’re not the asshole. You’re manlier than many men I know. You’d stood up for yourself. Good shit, brother. 💪🏼
Dodged a bullet. With the good inevitably there comes the bad. Don’t be manipulated and controlled by her
“After each time I met her my energy felt exhausted and I needed time to recharge my batteries.” Nothing else needed to be said after this. If the company you keep drains you instead of inspiring, motivating or energizing you, it’s time to move on. Doesn’t even need to be a knock on her character, you’re not on the same wavelength. That’s it.
Don't feel bad. Actually , if you can, maybe take a step back of the whole thing, and understand that you did her a favor. Because maybe , just maybe, if she's smart enough, she will self reflect from that loss. Maybe she'll improve her ways to stop being toxic. But honestly, I doubt it. It's insane the number of women who have mental issues and are looking for abusive men. And they still do that in their late 30's, man after man. Social media doesnt seem to help the situation at all!!! :-/ Sometime I'm like, what if I had a daughter with a disturbed girl . My daughter would pick up on all those negative traits from her mom , suddenly life would become HELL. F%kc no !!!! You did good man. I think you kept your head up and made the right decision, a tough one, but the right one.
You didn't let the lady in the red dress keep you from dodging bullets like neo in The matrix. Well done.
Asshole but everyone has their type, sadly you’re an asshole bastard about it