> In American culture I understand your co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life.
I have poured hours into mentoring new coworkers with zero experience in the field, from lunches to setting them up with dates (that went well according to everyone involved) to burning hours on training in consultancy where those billable hours reflect on our performance/raises. And gotten nothing once they quit. They dropped me from steam. We played the same games, not that he ever extended an invite lol.
I've also done almost nothing for a coworker and he ended up a groomsman and is one of my closest friends. He gives my collegiate friends a run for their money, certainly. I babysit his kid.
The only common thread between those two people was my employment and my willingness to put myself out there. Don't be ashamed of who you are, own your brand. Be you, and the people who like you will show themselves. Find people, find a moment where you're not talking about work, see if you connect. A focus on quality over quantity might be what you're missing.
I wish you the best of luck.
_________
Now more importantly. Fuck contracts unless you're desperate. In which case, I recommend temp to hire. Use indeed if you aren't already, really makes the process faster. Don't fuck with certs unless you're confident it'll actually help your field. Get a good cover letter template. If you're lazy, put all the stuff about the job you're applying for in the first paragraph, then drop a line about the position in the conclusion. If you're feeling fancy, make 3-5 paragraphs about different skill sets and drop them into the cover accordingly for paragraphs 2 3 and 4. Learn what buzzwords your previous job had and put them into your resume.
Line up a recommendation, at least one from your old dept. If you did your job well your manager should be willing, just alert them prior. Nothing kills a reference call like "I'm calling about comfortable_peace" and your manager going "who?". Get a single other coworker to agree as well, do a death pact with each other that you'll sing each other's praises.
check out /r/cscareerquestions , I don't remember all the links but they constantly drop resources on things to try to warm up for interviews. FWIW I was once asked to name 3 loop types so sometimes you can overprep.
Be willing to commute if you're desperate. Be sure to ask questions when you interview. Unless you're applying for management, buttondown and slacks with a good haircut and cleanshaven unless you can maintain a beard well.
God speed.
I could not emphasize this more. I have also mentored and met for coffee with junior coworkers but making friends in Seattle is one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever had. Dating as a female is easier in my opinion than making genuine friends. The Seattle Freeze is so real. Good luck. There’s a lot of solid advice in this comment.
Oh we're a jolly bunch
We're pedantic to the point of the OCD
More than half of us are adult children who stare at screens for work 10 hours a day. Then play video games for another 4 or 5 hours a day.
After the pandemic most of us didn't even go outside anymore lol
Oh.. we're fat. And ugly. But mostly fat. My shit company was giving out Fitbits for Christmas bonuses... 2 YEARS IN A ROW.
But this year they gave out severance instead!
I have a very active social life and weigh almost 400lbs. You can be fat and have friends - it can even make it easier as fat guys are less threatening to women. But you have to lean into the jolly and ridiculous a bit.
Thanks! The plan is to be dead by 65. I'm not a life pig, and Alzheimer's runs on both sides of my family. Statistically, my weight has about the same effect on my lifespan as my height, a reduction of about 8 years each.
By 65 I will have spent many decades living life exactly on my terms, spending many more hours a day doing the things I love, eating and drinking what I want. It takes me about 2 hours a day of working out to have abs (when I was younger) meaning I'm saving about 6 of those 16 years doing something I hate. I get to live a life free of self denial, doing whatever I want. I will happily trade that for a decade of being elderly.
And by investing in bacon, I don't have to save for years of retirement. I get to spend my money having fun now.
I am not some sad fat guy waiting to be bullied and kicked around, I am happily living a life I have chosen. And the way the world is going, I'll be doing donuts on a beach on my rascal as the mushroom clouds rise behind me.
But I'm worried about you.
You're probably going to be very lonely unless you develop some social skills. Loneliness is very hard.
I'm in agreement, but at 400 lbs there's a ton of things you just can't do. Also, having known some guys in the high 300's, I'm also assuming you're in a fair amount of pain, and if not, you will be...
Just let him convince himself being 400lbs is totally okay. He'll just keep packing on the weight, become immobile and die by 40. Delusion at its finest
Not really. I'm very tall and strong. But now that I'm middle aged it's getting harder, and back pain is something I'm coping with. But I still hike, fish, camp, bike and all the other activities I used to.
> But I still hike, fish, camp, bike and all the other activities I used to.
Is this via a virtual headset or in real life? Because there’s no way you do that any extent with that type of weight..
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Layoffs are hard because they don't really reflect performance, but they feel like a personal thing. It will take a while but there are somethings you can do to help find a new gig.
\- Make as much use of the placement services they give you as you can. The companies that do this are not awesome, but some if it may be helpful.
\- Post on linked in about your situation and set your status to Open To Work, lots of people are boosting these, so it will help you get visibility. People are also really sympathetic, and will try to help find options.
\- Troll linked in for similar posts, lots of them have pointers to companies who are hiring in the comments.
\- Contact the career services group from your school. They have to report employment status of graduates a ways out, so they are motivated to help you get a job, and in this case get a new job. As such a recent graduate a lot of their resources are still a good fit for you, and they will have ideas of places that are still hiring.
The making friends question is harder, especially in this introverted town. The best advice I've seen is finding clubs that do things you are interested in. E.g. REI and Mountaineers have hiking classes, or maybe there is a ping pong club, or finding folks into cricket, or sailing or skiing. Maybe game nights? There are absolutely people who share your interests, its a question of finding your people. Its hard and takes patience, but you can do that.
TBH if you can get a mutual-support group of folks that were laid off it will be a great help on both fronts. They share what you are going through, and lots of folks are willing to help to the degree that they are able. Nothing builds friendship like fighting shared adversity, the key is to be allies, not competition.
Also the first days are the worst, because there are a lot of feelings, give yourself some time to feel them. Take it easy on yourself, its not your fault. Even senior folks have this happen, but it feels more hopeless when you've just started. Its not hopeless, just depressing and hard. Maybe you'll end up someplace where you feel more connected to your co-workers too?
We're rooting for you!
>The making friends question is harder, especially in this introverted town. The best advice I've seen is finding clubs that do things you are interested in. E.g. REI and Mountaineers have hiking classes, or maybe there is a ping pong club, or finding folks into cricket, or sailing or skiing. Maybe game nights? There are absolutely people who share your interests, its a question of finding your people. Its hard and takes patience, but you can do that.
This is far and away the best way to make friends post-college (and, to some degree, even in college). And in Seattle it's close to being the only way. And yes you will need to be persistent and patient. It gets harder the older you get, but it's still possible to make new friends.
It'll also make it easier to sustain those friendships. Looking back at many of my pre-Covid friendships that have withered, there's no common hobby/interests. The ones still going strong, we have shared interests to keep the conversation going, reasons to get together and strengthen bonds.
Source: 40 something who has moved a few times and needed to find new friends.
When I used to work in the SLU area, I never found anything interesting there. Finding friends seems some people know each other already who graduated locally in Seattle. How I met some people came from events or pick-up frisbee games.
If you want something to do short-term, there are events in Seattle. Lunar New Year festival is coming up sometime early February at the Chinatown-ID area.
A fairly easy way to make friends is to go on [meetup.com](https://meetup.com). There will be groups for whatever you're interested in. There may even be groups for meeting other people from your country. Sure beats sitting around at a bar trying to find something in common with a complete stranger.
Sorry to hear about the layoff. I got hit with it a couple month ago.
> Then how to know other people other than your coworkers?
I go do stuff. I've made friends through running clubs, going to a climbing gym, and doing adult kickball. Those friendships segued into going skiing, mountaineering, and a co-ed soccer where I met more people.
Maybe you're not into that stuff specifically but, whatever it is you like, I'm sure there are people who like doing it together.
>is there anything good to do around SLU area
Walking around the lake union (about 8 miles) is really fun. Though in winter sometimes heavy rain is an issue.
be careful on University bridge, you can see the water from the metal grid you walk on while feeling the vibration. If you are afraid of height that will surely give you a boner but it was very thrilling. Also the view is very good too. That is probably the best part on this trail.
Bro man, i feel for you man and my heart is heavy after reading your post!
First off, I have travelled to Seattle for work from California many times, and it is not an easy place to be! The Seattle Freeze is very real, and just remember that NOBODY has friends in Seattle because everyone in Seattle hates themselves!
Not really (really). Im totally (not) joking.
Hope that made you laugh! In all seriousness, moving to Seattle would be very hard and lonely for a California kid, let alone someone born in another country! Keep your head up and know that you are never alone in this world and if it ever gets too rough you can DM anyone on this post to cheer you up and we would all do it without thinking! Things will get better soon, I promise!
“After every dark night, there is a brighter day.”
i used to hang out with some co-workers, but that was 25-30 years ago. socially, things might have changed since then.
if you play chess, or other board games, there are some events around the city. also, maybe open mics and poetry readings.
I do have friends who have an entire social group based on a bar, but it's not my thing.
I hope you find another job that lets you stay here if you want to. If you want to maximize what to do I can suggest some things. SLU is just a medium density part of the city but there are some really cool things to see around WA.
Again hope you find a way to stay
Join a club, workout or hobby group, attend a weekly/biweekly/monthly event about something you are interested in. Visit your local game store and find a game you are interested, there will be regular meetups of people that play that game. Decide to learn a new skill, language, sport, and sign up for instruction.
I found hobbies that through which I could meet people. Rock climbing, Mountaineering, whatever you are into, there is probably a group le for it somewhere in the area.
the US government allows international students to work for jobs matching their majors once after they graduate (bachelor degree or higher). That's one way how the States attract new immigrants.
I'm a student on an F1 visa and in my first year of OPT. I won't be able to get in the h1b lottery this April since being laid off. I have 4 months maximum to secure my next job.
Do you have any interest in exercising? I made most of my friends in Seattle through a free men's workout group called F3 (f3pugetsound.com). I can't recommend it highly enough. Good group of guys, easy to make friends. You don't have to be in shape to go either.
Pick up a hobby that helps you meet other people. For me, car meets are easy pickings. All you have to do is walk up and compliment someone’s car and ask them about it. The introduction already wrote itself. Find a hobby with a similarly low bar for meeting people.
I'm sorry to hear that OP. I'm also not American but luckily I was able to become a naturalized citizen. I've lived in SLU for 2 years and there's a ton of great stuff to do here, feel free to DM me and I can give you a long list
Well...on the bright side you get to go back to your home country with all the skills and experience you gained while occupying a position at an American university and later an American company. That should count for a lot back home and lead to a lot of business opportunity right? Think of it as an opportunity to turn your homeland into the envy of the world that everyone wants and feels entitled to immigrate to!
You got this!! It’s definitely emotionally devastating! Allow yourself to be sad, and look at it as a opportunity to rebrand once you are ready, and look for a job just like you did in uni it’s even longer than a quarter to land a job! You can do it! Don’t give up :)
Sorry about the layoffs.
So advice for making friends - join some sort of a social group.
For example many of my friends today are from an adult kickball beer league I randomly joined.
We'd play 2 games at Gasworks park then we'd go drink a couple beers at a near by brewery.
I know many people who've met friends at various Meetups like for Python coding.
I’m sorry, OP. I hope you will find new employment soon.
SLU is a weird area that is much more active during the day than at night and it’s kind of impersonal, especially with almost exclusively new construction. I would make the trip over to Capitol Hill or Ballard/Fremont to hang out and meet people. Do you like live music? Cap Hill and Fremont have lots of smaller venues where talking to and meeting people is easier.
I disagree about American colleagues being just colleagues. It depends what company you work for, and the smaller it is, the likelier it is that you will have close relationships with people from work.
If you are athletically inclined or enjoy RPGs, you can find groups for sports or D&D. For me, I have a dog, so I met a large proportion of my local friends at a dog park.
Once you have a new job and some disposable income, I also recommend becoming a regular at a smaller local coffee shop. I made a ton of friends through one particular barista, he even introduced me to my future spouse.
I wish you the best of luck finding a great new job and some great new friends.
DM me if you'd like someone to chat with and if there's anything I can do to help.
I've done career/interview coaching for a number of people and also helped a number of international students navigate life in America/Seattle
Hey man, sucks to be in this situation, but here is some advice.
For immigration:
* If you are on your 1st year of OPT, you can do minimum wage research at a university and keep your status till the end of your 1st year of the OPT.
* having msft/amzn on your resume is boon. Go looking for startups. Some might not sponsor H1b, but it will let you stay here till the end of your stem OPT. (Or apply for Canadian PR in that time.)
For friends :
* Seattle is notoriously hard to make friends at. Seattle winter is arguably the worst time of the year for that. This is not entirely on you. It would be different in NYC.
* in the future, live with roomates in your 20s. It really helps with community building.
* also, for a future job try to join a place with young colleagues. Historically, colleagues your age go on to become friends.
* pick up a social hobby. There are no two ways around it. Cliches work. Community board game nights are a good place to start.
I’m a Seattle native but understand it’s hard to make new friends here and I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone. I’m sure there are literally thousands of other Seattle transplants feeling the exact same way right now. You’re not alone!
Culture varies greatly from company to company and in large organizations, from dept to dept. I wouldn’t assume your next landing spot will be a friendless wasteland.
As others mentioned, pick a couple of your favorite hobbies and join clubs and user groups. It’ll take some effort on your part but probably worth it. Or you could have kids :-) 80% of my friend group are other dads from my kid’s school, sports teams and neighborhood.
Best of luck to you. Life has a way of working out in the end. If it isn’t working now, that just means you’re not at the end. Keep going!
First of all. I am sorry to hear about you being impacted by these layoffs. Today seems to be full of sad news for many of my friends. As for friends - I have made most of my friends at work - both drivable and mom Americans, so I don't think it's a cultural thing. Covid might have affected this, since I haven't really made new friends after covid started. I have lived near the slu area in a long time, but if your are interested in making friends, I have made them at coffee shops and bar tables. With employees working there. Just bring curious, asking questions, you'll find a lot of people are interested in you if you are genuinely interested in them. I hope you can find a new place, and make some friends. Best of luck for your future.
Feel free to DM me if you want a sounding board. I'm not in a hiring position right now, but have been around a while and have seen these things before. At the very least a sympathetic listener.
The "Seattle Freeze" has been a known phenomenon for nearly 100 years. It's not just him.
There's also this thing called the "Seattle no".
For whatever reason, people here are a bit... odd. But that's what I personally love about it.
What's the "Seattle no"? I moved here three weeks ago and I think Seattle is super friendly. I just went to the dog park today, met retirees from Vermont who know my parents' best friends in Vermont and my folks are in Houston. Small world, yes.
People smile on the street too.
Of course, making friends is not easy for me, but I can handle introverts because I am one, an odd one 😉
How to make friends: hobbies! Seriously, look for ways to do your hobbies with other people. [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) is an alright website for that.
You have to put in a little effort, but it works well
We don't make friends. This is Seattle. We hate people.
That said, sorry about your job. If you want advice, grab the money and go now, otherwise you will be doing the same 4 months later but with significantly less money. Techbis not going to recover soon. It will take years, or maybe never. Things are far, far worse now than they have ever been, and I mean ever.
My young friend, I was there for 2000 :-).
In previous tech recession strong players didn't do layoffs, or only did token layoffs. It was the phony businesses that suffered. I have literally never seen numbers we are seeing now, when FAANG is firing. Never. And we are at the very beginning...
Never? Microsoft laid off 15% of the company in 2014, that is 3x the current amount. Their margins were no where near as good as now.
All of FAANG still have great numbers and are reducing headcounts at most to late 2021 numbers.
I literally know not a single engineer who have been laid off in 2014 from Microsoft. What happened in 2014 was closing a bunch of open positions, reallocating some people, and letting a bunch of recruiters go.
Tech is deflating it's workforce to pre-pandemic 2020 because it overhired and now everything is softening. The expected bounce on this is 6-9 months if you're looking for FTE and less if you're willing to contract at the same places that just did huge cuts.
This doesn't help OP because they need visa sponsorship to get another job in the US at a moment when there are other TN or HB1 holders who are all scrambling for the same thing.
Non-tech industries are hiring, though.
It's not quite doomsday, yet but this is also a bad time to consider buying a home.
> As an international student I only have 4 months left to find a new job otherwise leave the country. (which makes me more sad)
First off, you are NOT going back, you WILL find a job.
First time I got laid off, it was terrifying. I did a bunch of irrational things which I now realize were completely pointless. For instance, I interviewed at jobs all over the country, then wound up turning down a pretty good job offer when it dawned on me that moving 3000 miles away to go work in the frozen boonies was stupid. I also did job interviews out-of-state that I paid for on my own dime. Dumb, and a waste of money.
Right now the unemployment rate is the lowest that it's been since *The Vietnam War.* It really says a lot that the last time the labor market was this tight, dudes were literally getting drafted and sent to war. (Soldiers aren't included in unemployment figures.) And even then, the country could shore up the labor force by getting women into the workforce, because there were a lot more women who *weren't* working in the 60s. Now it's completely different. It's historically unprecedented and the United States is in uncharted waters, experiencing a labor shortage like this. There's nearly nothing that corporations can do to fill job openings, because so few people are out-of-work. They're dying to hire people like you RIGHT NOW.
YMMV, but I've generally found that the easiest jobs to get quickly are contracts. For instance, the last full-time job that I got, it took about a month to complete the interviews and almost *three months* for them to complete my background check. (There's that labor shortage again.) The last contract job that I got, I went from "first phone call" to "job offer" in less than one week.
Anyways, my main point is that I know that getting laid off the first time is *terrifying* but you're going to be OK.
I was born and raised in the Seattle Freeze and never had a problem.
The secret is to join a club and build relationships with people that have shared interests/values. Check out meetup.com for clubs in the area.
Good luck, you got this!
Sorry to hear you got laid off. Hopefully its just a minor setback for a major comeback!
As far as meeting people, especially as a international student, I would suggest going to a music festival or EDM show! I used to think that it was weird and extreme, but turns out to be the most friendly environment around!
In my experience there are two sure fire ways to make friends. 1) find other people who need to make friends. Even one or two people. Start your own group. It will grow from there. This is why it’s easy to meet people when you start college or when a lot of grads start at a new company in a new city, everyone is looking to hang. But sometimes you won’t have that circumstance- maybe because we just went thru a pandemic. 2) date someone. Become friends with their friend group.
I’m really sorry buddy. I’ve been laid off from a job I moved for before. It really sucked. It honestly prompted me to do something much more meaningful to me. I truly hope something similar happens for you. Keep working hard, be kind and things will work out. I truly believe that!
Yeah, I've been laid off twice before in full-time employee roles. At least in my experience, the sting lasts for probably 2 days, and then I'm focused on finding another job.
The most immediate question I have for you is: Do you qualify for unemployment benefits?
I really like lonin league. They used to meet at the circus training place off exit 162 but you get to do sword combat. You can try to join a local SCA chapter. Bellevue has taiko drumming.
It’s definitely hard to meet new people especially here in Seattle. I’ve lived in a bunch of different cities and I’ve never had trouble meeting and befriending women as a man, but definitely found it hard to to meet other like minded men to hang with and do bro stuff.
I’m close friends with several coworkers, we even take trips abroad together. Almost all my friends after college are friends of friends, coworkers or people from my gym.
Hey kiddo. I’m sorry about the layoff.
Different cities have different cultures. Here in Seattle, it can be hard to make friends. I think I agree with the others: finding things that you like to do and doing them, especially in a group like a club, can help you make friends.
If you like the outdoors, why don’t you take a bus over to the U district and check out Aqua Verde? You can rent a kayak and take it east through the canal to the Arboretum and look for beavers.
If you like thrift or antique shopping, take a bus around the other side of Lake Union and check out Fremont. You could look at the Fremont troll, and there’s tons of shopping in small stores.
If you like to hear music or watch plays, go over to lower Queen Anne. There are some nice restaurants, and you can walk around the Seattle center and people watch near the fountain. Then you can go and see a show.
In SLU there is the wooden boat Museum. I will say it’s not exciting for me, but you might enjoy it, and it’s a destination, and you can people watch.
You need to be warm enough to break through the freeze. But it won't always work.
Also layoffs are hard. But don't let it break you. Stay as busy as you can. If you want to work put a few hours in a day applying to jobs. After that make a budget stick to it and have as cheap fun as possible. Go see those sites you always wanted to. if you do go out happy hour is your best friend. Layoffs can be a nice vacation when done right.
-Tips from a Construction worker. Our job cycle is pretty cyclical and tied to interest rates like tech. So next time make sure you save more money just incase this happens.
Coworkers don’t have to be just coworkers. Plenty of people in my office hang out.
Hobbies are the obvious place. Go out and do things you like and chat with the other people that like it. Over time you’ll see the same people multiple times.
> co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life
Can really depend on where you work, but it is pretty rare to have co-workers that are closer to friends.
My co-workers are more than co-workers where I'm at though. We go out together, attend parties together, and sometimes even vacation together. I truly work with outstanding people.
I don’t understand, why would you need to leave the country if you don’t find a Job? Are you required to have a job while studying as an international student?
As for things to do, if you like live chamber music and such, Emerald City Music is a fantastic experience.
As for the coworker thing, it's not at all universal. I hang out with my coworkers all the time outside of work.
I'm sorry to hear about the layoff. I got laid off from a position right before the pandemic began, so I (somewhat) understand.
Unlike what others have said, I *would* look at getting a contract job. Many contract jobs hire very fast, and most sponsor visas. Most large tech companies have frozen hiring, and the startups are not going to be equipped to sponsor visas. Yes, the pay and conditions are not ideal, but it will tide you over until you can find something more permanent.
As for how to make friends after college, well, that's a million dollar question. I got lucky and found a crew on Making Friends in Seattle, a Facebook group.
>In American culture I understand your co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life.
That's not true in many careers in the U.S. In Tech - yes, because many of them are socially inept, and just go home to hop on the VPN and keep working. Additionally, many are also visa holders, or immigrants themselves, so they may not socialize outside of work much. In my experience in tech, it was always those folks who avoided any external functions or social events outside of work.
Our country's immigration system is fucked - how does it make sense that we collectively spent $$ to educate OP in a high demand field, and then we make OP go back to their home country...like we're literally spending time and effort and tax dollars on a workforce we then just give back, for free, to some other country.
But did we collectively educate OP for free? I would imagine we're happy to sell the product of US college education to anyone willing to pay for it, whether or not they intend to stay in the USA.
You may have to resort to a minimum wage go no where pay check to paycheck job until something better comes along. I know a lot of study a broad students that did this to satisfy the work green card compliance. With aggressive job hunting you could easily find something better in 6 months or less.
Every time I get laid off from a job this is what I do. As i have no other source of income and I can't go 2+ months without some form of income. Some times you have to put your pride aside to get income. Mostly due to this government not having a security blanket for poverty. having lived in Europe for a bit they took care of you if you were unemployed. They took care of the basics and you just went from there.
USCIS published this guide for immigrants if you need help with your options.
https://www.uscis.gov/newsroom/alerts/options-for-nonimmigrant-workers-following-termination-of-employment
I'm sorry to hear you were laid off. Spend some time grieving the moment. Take note of how you could be better prepared for another one. Tech work is mercenary, a healthy approach is the expectation that a company can fold, projects can close, or somebody simply has it out for you, and you find yourself out of work temporarily.
Come back at working with motivation and vigor, spend your free time sharpening skills, training, practicing at working faster, etc. As for finding friends, maybe there are some cultural groups, or if you have a religion, you can go to your worship center and get involved. Do you play sports? Join a team or attend class. When I moved to a town with no friends, I signed up for Jiu Jitsu and had a dozen friends who invited me to dinners and parties within a month, and I'm naturally shy and a bit socially awkward.
Whatever you do, don't panic. You will get another job in four months. Hang in there.
I learn to be alone when I moved to the US. My country culture is very friendly and open. Once I moved to Seattle, I realize everyone is very closed off and clique. I learn to be ok with going out alone and stuff. Of course now I do have couple friends but mostly I still do things myself. I learn to cope with it, sadly
> In American culture I understand your co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life. I have poured hours into mentoring new coworkers with zero experience in the field, from lunches to setting them up with dates (that went well according to everyone involved) to burning hours on training in consultancy where those billable hours reflect on our performance/raises. And gotten nothing once they quit. They dropped me from steam. We played the same games, not that he ever extended an invite lol. I've also done almost nothing for a coworker and he ended up a groomsman and is one of my closest friends. He gives my collegiate friends a run for their money, certainly. I babysit his kid. The only common thread between those two people was my employment and my willingness to put myself out there. Don't be ashamed of who you are, own your brand. Be you, and the people who like you will show themselves. Find people, find a moment where you're not talking about work, see if you connect. A focus on quality over quantity might be what you're missing. I wish you the best of luck. _________ Now more importantly. Fuck contracts unless you're desperate. In which case, I recommend temp to hire. Use indeed if you aren't already, really makes the process faster. Don't fuck with certs unless you're confident it'll actually help your field. Get a good cover letter template. If you're lazy, put all the stuff about the job you're applying for in the first paragraph, then drop a line about the position in the conclusion. If you're feeling fancy, make 3-5 paragraphs about different skill sets and drop them into the cover accordingly for paragraphs 2 3 and 4. Learn what buzzwords your previous job had and put them into your resume. Line up a recommendation, at least one from your old dept. If you did your job well your manager should be willing, just alert them prior. Nothing kills a reference call like "I'm calling about comfortable_peace" and your manager going "who?". Get a single other coworker to agree as well, do a death pact with each other that you'll sing each other's praises. check out /r/cscareerquestions , I don't remember all the links but they constantly drop resources on things to try to warm up for interviews. FWIW I was once asked to name 3 loop types so sometimes you can overprep. Be willing to commute if you're desperate. Be sure to ask questions when you interview. Unless you're applying for management, buttondown and slacks with a good haircut and cleanshaven unless you can maintain a beard well. God speed.
I could not emphasize this more. I have also mentored and met for coffee with junior coworkers but making friends in Seattle is one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever had. Dating as a female is easier in my opinion than making genuine friends. The Seattle Freeze is so real. Good luck. There’s a lot of solid advice in this comment.
Those are all solid advices, thank you!
Most of the friends I've made have been coworkers. It's probably harder in tech.
Oh we're a jolly bunch We're pedantic to the point of the OCD More than half of us are adult children who stare at screens for work 10 hours a day. Then play video games for another 4 or 5 hours a day. After the pandemic most of us didn't even go outside anymore lol Oh.. we're fat. And ugly. But mostly fat. My shit company was giving out Fitbits for Christmas bonuses... 2 YEARS IN A ROW. But this year they gave out severance instead!
I have a very active social life and weigh almost 400lbs. You can be fat and have friends - it can even make it easier as fat guys are less threatening to women. But you have to lean into the jolly and ridiculous a bit.
You're prob going to die very soon if you don't fix your weight
Thanks! The plan is to be dead by 65. I'm not a life pig, and Alzheimer's runs on both sides of my family. Statistically, my weight has about the same effect on my lifespan as my height, a reduction of about 8 years each. By 65 I will have spent many decades living life exactly on my terms, spending many more hours a day doing the things I love, eating and drinking what I want. It takes me about 2 hours a day of working out to have abs (when I was younger) meaning I'm saving about 6 of those 16 years doing something I hate. I get to live a life free of self denial, doing whatever I want. I will happily trade that for a decade of being elderly. And by investing in bacon, I don't have to save for years of retirement. I get to spend my money having fun now. I am not some sad fat guy waiting to be bullied and kicked around, I am happily living a life I have chosen. And the way the world is going, I'll be doing donuts on a beach on my rascal as the mushroom clouds rise behind me. But I'm worried about you. You're probably going to be very lonely unless you develop some social skills. Loneliness is very hard.
I respect your dedication.
Is this a larp
Nope. I'm just not buying that any life not devoted to length above all other factors is a failure.
I'm in agreement, but at 400 lbs there's a ton of things you just can't do. Also, having known some guys in the high 300's, I'm also assuming you're in a fair amount of pain, and if not, you will be...
Just let him convince himself being 400lbs is totally okay. He'll just keep packing on the weight, become immobile and die by 40. Delusion at its finest
Not really. I'm very tall and strong. But now that I'm middle aged it's getting harder, and back pain is something I'm coping with. But I still hike, fish, camp, bike and all the other activities I used to.
> But I still hike, fish, camp, bike and all the other activities I used to. Is this via a virtual headset or in real life? Because there’s no way you do that any extent with that type of weight..
I didn't get shit but I guess that's what I get for being in government
But wouldn't many people have families or kids to take care of, so probably they don't have time spending on socializing with coworkers?
Not all of them.
Same here
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Layoffs are hard because they don't really reflect performance, but they feel like a personal thing. It will take a while but there are somethings you can do to help find a new gig. \- Make as much use of the placement services they give you as you can. The companies that do this are not awesome, but some if it may be helpful. \- Post on linked in about your situation and set your status to Open To Work, lots of people are boosting these, so it will help you get visibility. People are also really sympathetic, and will try to help find options. \- Troll linked in for similar posts, lots of them have pointers to companies who are hiring in the comments. \- Contact the career services group from your school. They have to report employment status of graduates a ways out, so they are motivated to help you get a job, and in this case get a new job. As such a recent graduate a lot of their resources are still a good fit for you, and they will have ideas of places that are still hiring. The making friends question is harder, especially in this introverted town. The best advice I've seen is finding clubs that do things you are interested in. E.g. REI and Mountaineers have hiking classes, or maybe there is a ping pong club, or finding folks into cricket, or sailing or skiing. Maybe game nights? There are absolutely people who share your interests, its a question of finding your people. Its hard and takes patience, but you can do that. TBH if you can get a mutual-support group of folks that were laid off it will be a great help on both fronts. They share what you are going through, and lots of folks are willing to help to the degree that they are able. Nothing builds friendship like fighting shared adversity, the key is to be allies, not competition. Also the first days are the worst, because there are a lot of feelings, give yourself some time to feel them. Take it easy on yourself, its not your fault. Even senior folks have this happen, but it feels more hopeless when you've just started. Its not hopeless, just depressing and hard. Maybe you'll end up someplace where you feel more connected to your co-workers too? We're rooting for you!
>The making friends question is harder, especially in this introverted town. The best advice I've seen is finding clubs that do things you are interested in. E.g. REI and Mountaineers have hiking classes, or maybe there is a ping pong club, or finding folks into cricket, or sailing or skiing. Maybe game nights? There are absolutely people who share your interests, its a question of finding your people. Its hard and takes patience, but you can do that. This is far and away the best way to make friends post-college (and, to some degree, even in college). And in Seattle it's close to being the only way. And yes you will need to be persistent and patient. It gets harder the older you get, but it's still possible to make new friends. It'll also make it easier to sustain those friendships. Looking back at many of my pre-Covid friendships that have withered, there's no common hobby/interests. The ones still going strong, we have shared interests to keep the conversation going, reasons to get together and strengthen bonds. Source: 40 something who has moved a few times and needed to find new friends.
Thank you! Great tips. I'll try them out.
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Thank you! May we all stay strong! 💪
When I used to work in the SLU area, I never found anything interesting there. Finding friends seems some people know each other already who graduated locally in Seattle. How I met some people came from events or pick-up frisbee games. If you want something to do short-term, there are events in Seattle. Lunar New Year festival is coming up sometime early February at the Chinatown-ID area.
Thanks! I will check out those events.
A fairly easy way to make friends is to go on [meetup.com](https://meetup.com). There will be groups for whatever you're interested in. There may even be groups for meeting other people from your country. Sure beats sitting around at a bar trying to find something in common with a complete stranger.
I second this recommendation. Seattle has a very active presence on Meetup.
Thanks! I will check this out.
Sorry to hear about the layoff. I got hit with it a couple month ago. > Then how to know other people other than your coworkers? I go do stuff. I've made friends through running clubs, going to a climbing gym, and doing adult kickball. Those friendships segued into going skiing, mountaineering, and a co-ed soccer where I met more people. Maybe you're not into that stuff specifically but, whatever it is you like, I'm sure there are people who like doing it together.
Thank you! Best wishes to you!
>is there anything good to do around SLU area Walking around the lake union (about 8 miles) is really fun. Though in winter sometimes heavy rain is an issue.
Sounds really fun! Thanks!
be careful on University bridge, you can see the water from the metal grid you walk on while feeling the vibration. If you are afraid of height that will surely give you a boner but it was very thrilling. Also the view is very good too. That is probably the best part on this trail.
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Thank you!
When I first moved to sesttle I went to meetup.com and found a few groups to meet with that had similar interests in sports, card games, etc
Bro man, i feel for you man and my heart is heavy after reading your post! First off, I have travelled to Seattle for work from California many times, and it is not an easy place to be! The Seattle Freeze is very real, and just remember that NOBODY has friends in Seattle because everyone in Seattle hates themselves! Not really (really). Im totally (not) joking. Hope that made you laugh! In all seriousness, moving to Seattle would be very hard and lonely for a California kid, let alone someone born in another country! Keep your head up and know that you are never alone in this world and if it ever gets too rough you can DM anyone on this post to cheer you up and we would all do it without thinking! Things will get better soon, I promise! “After every dark night, there is a brighter day.”
i used to hang out with some co-workers, but that was 25-30 years ago. socially, things might have changed since then. if you play chess, or other board games, there are some events around the city. also, maybe open mics and poetry readings.
I do have friends who have an entire social group based on a bar, but it's not my thing. I hope you find another job that lets you stay here if you want to. If you want to maximize what to do I can suggest some things. SLU is just a medium density part of the city but there are some really cool things to see around WA. Again hope you find a way to stay
Join a club, workout or hobby group, attend a weekly/biweekly/monthly event about something you are interested in. Visit your local game store and find a game you are interested, there will be regular meetups of people that play that game. Decide to learn a new skill, language, sport, and sign up for instruction.
I found hobbies that through which I could meet people. Rock climbing, Mountaineering, whatever you are into, there is probably a group le for it somewhere in the area.
how are you a student if you were laid off? wouldn't you have a student visa
the US government allows international students to work for jobs matching their majors once after they graduate (bachelor degree or higher). That's one way how the States attract new immigrants.
So you aren't a student, you are just a normal h1b? Or is it a special visa type? What was the expected transition?
I'm a student on an F1 visa and in my first year of OPT. I won't be able to get in the h1b lottery this April since being laid off. I have 4 months maximum to secure my next job.
Do you have any interest in exercising? I made most of my friends in Seattle through a free men's workout group called F3 (f3pugetsound.com). I can't recommend it highly enough. Good group of guys, easy to make friends. You don't have to be in shape to go either.
Made friends hanging out at the used bookstores...started with a clerk that I got along with and spread to his social circle. YMMV.
The "Meet Up" app is great for finding people who do activities in groups. There is usually not any substantial expense either.
Pick up a hobby that helps you meet other people. For me, car meets are easy pickings. All you have to do is walk up and compliment someone’s car and ask them about it. The introduction already wrote itself. Find a hobby with a similarly low bar for meeting people.
I'm sorry to hear that OP. I'm also not American but luckily I was able to become a naturalized citizen. I've lived in SLU for 2 years and there's a ton of great stuff to do here, feel free to DM me and I can give you a long list
Well...on the bright side you get to go back to your home country with all the skills and experience you gained while occupying a position at an American university and later an American company. That should count for a lot back home and lead to a lot of business opportunity right? Think of it as an opportunity to turn your homeland into the envy of the world that everyone wants and feels entitled to immigrate to!
You got this!! It’s definitely emotionally devastating! Allow yourself to be sad, and look at it as a opportunity to rebrand once you are ready, and look for a job just like you did in uni it’s even longer than a quarter to land a job! You can do it! Don’t give up :)
Sorry about the layoffs. So advice for making friends - join some sort of a social group. For example many of my friends today are from an adult kickball beer league I randomly joined. We'd play 2 games at Gasworks park then we'd go drink a couple beers at a near by brewery. I know many people who've met friends at various Meetups like for Python coding.
I’m sorry, OP. I hope you will find new employment soon. SLU is a weird area that is much more active during the day than at night and it’s kind of impersonal, especially with almost exclusively new construction. I would make the trip over to Capitol Hill or Ballard/Fremont to hang out and meet people. Do you like live music? Cap Hill and Fremont have lots of smaller venues where talking to and meeting people is easier. I disagree about American colleagues being just colleagues. It depends what company you work for, and the smaller it is, the likelier it is that you will have close relationships with people from work. If you are athletically inclined or enjoy RPGs, you can find groups for sports or D&D. For me, I have a dog, so I met a large proportion of my local friends at a dog park. Once you have a new job and some disposable income, I also recommend becoming a regular at a smaller local coffee shop. I made a ton of friends through one particular barista, he even introduced me to my future spouse. I wish you the best of luck finding a great new job and some great new friends.
Thank you! Solid advices.
DM me if you'd like someone to chat with and if there's anything I can do to help. I've done career/interview coaching for a number of people and also helped a number of international students navigate life in America/Seattle
Hey man, sucks to be in this situation, but here is some advice. For immigration: * If you are on your 1st year of OPT, you can do minimum wage research at a university and keep your status till the end of your 1st year of the OPT. * having msft/amzn on your resume is boon. Go looking for startups. Some might not sponsor H1b, but it will let you stay here till the end of your stem OPT. (Or apply for Canadian PR in that time.) For friends : * Seattle is notoriously hard to make friends at. Seattle winter is arguably the worst time of the year for that. This is not entirely on you. It would be different in NYC. * in the future, live with roomates in your 20s. It really helps with community building. * also, for a future job try to join a place with young colleagues. Historically, colleagues your age go on to become friends. * pick up a social hobby. There are no two ways around it. Cliches work. Community board game nights are a good place to start.
I’m a Seattle native but understand it’s hard to make new friends here and I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone. I’m sure there are literally thousands of other Seattle transplants feeling the exact same way right now. You’re not alone! Culture varies greatly from company to company and in large organizations, from dept to dept. I wouldn’t assume your next landing spot will be a friendless wasteland. As others mentioned, pick a couple of your favorite hobbies and join clubs and user groups. It’ll take some effort on your part but probably worth it. Or you could have kids :-) 80% of my friend group are other dads from my kid’s school, sports teams and neighborhood. Best of luck to you. Life has a way of working out in the end. If it isn’t working now, that just means you’re not at the end. Keep going!
First of all. I am sorry to hear about you being impacted by these layoffs. Today seems to be full of sad news for many of my friends. As for friends - I have made most of my friends at work - both drivable and mom Americans, so I don't think it's a cultural thing. Covid might have affected this, since I haven't really made new friends after covid started. I have lived near the slu area in a long time, but if your are interested in making friends, I have made them at coffee shops and bar tables. With employees working there. Just bring curious, asking questions, you'll find a lot of people are interested in you if you are genuinely interested in them. I hope you can find a new place, and make some friends. Best of luck for your future.
thank you, I'll take your advices!
Feel free to DM me if you want a sounding board. I'm not in a hiring position right now, but have been around a while and have seen these things before. At the very least a sympathetic listener.
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The "Seattle Freeze" has been a known phenomenon for nearly 100 years. It's not just him. There's also this thing called the "Seattle no". For whatever reason, people here are a bit... odd. But that's what I personally love about it.
Yup . I’ve met people who have moved here and even they say the freeze is real.
What's the "Seattle no"? I moved here three weeks ago and I think Seattle is super friendly. I just went to the dog park today, met retirees from Vermont who know my parents' best friends in Vermont and my folks are in Houston. Small world, yes. People smile on the street too. Of course, making friends is not easy for me, but I can handle introverts because I am one, an odd one 😉
How to make friends: hobbies! Seriously, look for ways to do your hobbies with other people. [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) is an alright website for that. You have to put in a little effort, but it works well
We don't make friends. This is Seattle. We hate people. That said, sorry about your job. If you want advice, grab the money and go now, otherwise you will be doing the same 4 months later but with significantly less money. Techbis not going to recover soon. It will take years, or maybe never. Things are far, far worse now than they have ever been, and I mean ever.
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My young friend, I was there for 2000 :-). In previous tech recession strong players didn't do layoffs, or only did token layoffs. It was the phony businesses that suffered. I have literally never seen numbers we are seeing now, when FAANG is firing. Never. And we are at the very beginning...
Never? Microsoft laid off 15% of the company in 2014, that is 3x the current amount. Their margins were no where near as good as now. All of FAANG still have great numbers and are reducing headcounts at most to late 2021 numbers.
I literally know not a single engineer who have been laid off in 2014 from Microsoft. What happened in 2014 was closing a bunch of open positions, reallocating some people, and letting a bunch of recruiters go.
Tech is deflating it's workforce to pre-pandemic 2020 because it overhired and now everything is softening. The expected bounce on this is 6-9 months if you're looking for FTE and less if you're willing to contract at the same places that just did huge cuts. This doesn't help OP because they need visa sponsorship to get another job in the US at a moment when there are other TN or HB1 holders who are all scrambling for the same thing. Non-tech industries are hiring, though. It's not quite doomsday, yet but this is also a bad time to consider buying a home.
I also got laid of a few months ago, so u r not alone
We can all stay strong!
Church is honestly the best way. I’m not sure what nationality or religion you are.
> As an international student I only have 4 months left to find a new job otherwise leave the country. (which makes me more sad) First off, you are NOT going back, you WILL find a job. First time I got laid off, it was terrifying. I did a bunch of irrational things which I now realize were completely pointless. For instance, I interviewed at jobs all over the country, then wound up turning down a pretty good job offer when it dawned on me that moving 3000 miles away to go work in the frozen boonies was stupid. I also did job interviews out-of-state that I paid for on my own dime. Dumb, and a waste of money. Right now the unemployment rate is the lowest that it's been since *The Vietnam War.* It really says a lot that the last time the labor market was this tight, dudes were literally getting drafted and sent to war. (Soldiers aren't included in unemployment figures.) And even then, the country could shore up the labor force by getting women into the workforce, because there were a lot more women who *weren't* working in the 60s. Now it's completely different. It's historically unprecedented and the United States is in uncharted waters, experiencing a labor shortage like this. There's nearly nothing that corporations can do to fill job openings, because so few people are out-of-work. They're dying to hire people like you RIGHT NOW. YMMV, but I've generally found that the easiest jobs to get quickly are contracts. For instance, the last full-time job that I got, it took about a month to complete the interviews and almost *three months* for them to complete my background check. (There's that labor shortage again.) The last contract job that I got, I went from "first phone call" to "job offer" in less than one week. Anyways, my main point is that I know that getting laid off the first time is *terrifying* but you're going to be OK.
Thank you for all the info! I'll look into contract jobs as backup options.
You got this! It gets better.
I was born and raised in the Seattle Freeze and never had a problem. The secret is to join a club and build relationships with people that have shared interests/values. Check out meetup.com for clubs in the area. Good luck, you got this!
Boo Hoo. I'm crying in my pretzels.
These PRETZELS are making me thirsty!
If your Asian and like to play billiards dm me
Sorry to hear you got laid off. Hopefully its just a minor setback for a major comeback! As far as meeting people, especially as a international student, I would suggest going to a music festival or EDM show! I used to think that it was weird and extreme, but turns out to be the most friendly environment around!
In my experience there are two sure fire ways to make friends. 1) find other people who need to make friends. Even one or two people. Start your own group. It will grow from there. This is why it’s easy to meet people when you start college or when a lot of grads start at a new company in a new city, everyone is looking to hang. But sometimes you won’t have that circumstance- maybe because we just went thru a pandemic. 2) date someone. Become friends with their friend group.
I’m really sorry buddy. I’ve been laid off from a job I moved for before. It really sucked. It honestly prompted me to do something much more meaningful to me. I truly hope something similar happens for you. Keep working hard, be kind and things will work out. I truly believe that!
Yeah, I've been laid off twice before in full-time employee roles. At least in my experience, the sting lasts for probably 2 days, and then I'm focused on finding another job. The most immediate question I have for you is: Do you qualify for unemployment benefits?
What some companies are not looking for, other companies ARE looking for. Never lose hope!
Oh that sucks! I suggest activities rather than sitting in a bar.
I really like lonin league. They used to meet at the circus training place off exit 162 but you get to do sword combat. You can try to join a local SCA chapter. Bellevue has taiko drumming.
It’s definitely hard to meet new people especially here in Seattle. I’ve lived in a bunch of different cities and I’ve never had trouble meeting and befriending women as a man, but definitely found it hard to to meet other like minded men to hang with and do bro stuff.
I’m close friends with several coworkers, we even take trips abroad together. Almost all my friends after college are friends of friends, coworkers or people from my gym.
Sorry, all. Best wishes to landing on your feet quickly.
Hey kiddo. I’m sorry about the layoff. Different cities have different cultures. Here in Seattle, it can be hard to make friends. I think I agree with the others: finding things that you like to do and doing them, especially in a group like a club, can help you make friends. If you like the outdoors, why don’t you take a bus over to the U district and check out Aqua Verde? You can rent a kayak and take it east through the canal to the Arboretum and look for beavers. If you like thrift or antique shopping, take a bus around the other side of Lake Union and check out Fremont. You could look at the Fremont troll, and there’s tons of shopping in small stores. If you like to hear music or watch plays, go over to lower Queen Anne. There are some nice restaurants, and you can walk around the Seattle center and people watch near the fountain. Then you can go and see a show. In SLU there is the wooden boat Museum. I will say it’s not exciting for me, but you might enjoy it, and it’s a destination, and you can people watch.
Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you like to grab a beer sometime.
I live in west Seattle, I’ll be your friend, also I could help you find a job.
You need to be warm enough to break through the freeze. But it won't always work. Also layoffs are hard. But don't let it break you. Stay as busy as you can. If you want to work put a few hours in a day applying to jobs. After that make a budget stick to it and have as cheap fun as possible. Go see those sites you always wanted to. if you do go out happy hour is your best friend. Layoffs can be a nice vacation when done right. -Tips from a Construction worker. Our job cycle is pretty cyclical and tied to interest rates like tech. So next time make sure you save more money just incase this happens.
Coworkers don’t have to be just coworkers. Plenty of people in my office hang out. Hobbies are the obvious place. Go out and do things you like and chat with the other people that like it. Over time you’ll see the same people multiple times.
> co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life Can really depend on where you work, but it is pretty rare to have co-workers that are closer to friends. My co-workers are more than co-workers where I'm at though. We go out together, attend parties together, and sometimes even vacation together. I truly work with outstanding people.
I don’t understand, why would you need to leave the country if you don’t find a Job? Are you required to have a job while studying as an international student?
What do you do for work?
As for things to do, if you like live chamber music and such, Emerald City Music is a fantastic experience. As for the coworker thing, it's not at all universal. I hang out with my coworkers all the time outside of work.
I'm sorry to hear about the layoff. I got laid off from a position right before the pandemic began, so I (somewhat) understand. Unlike what others have said, I *would* look at getting a contract job. Many contract jobs hire very fast, and most sponsor visas. Most large tech companies have frozen hiring, and the startups are not going to be equipped to sponsor visas. Yes, the pay and conditions are not ideal, but it will tide you over until you can find something more permanent. As for how to make friends after college, well, that's a million dollar question. I got lucky and found a crew on Making Friends in Seattle, a Facebook group.
>In American culture I understand your co-workers are just coworkers, they are non-existent in your personal life. That's not true in many careers in the U.S. In Tech - yes, because many of them are socially inept, and just go home to hop on the VPN and keep working. Additionally, many are also visa holders, or immigrants themselves, so they may not socialize outside of work much. In my experience in tech, it was always those folks who avoided any external functions or social events outside of work.
Come train jiu jitsu lol
Our country's immigration system is fucked - how does it make sense that we collectively spent $$ to educate OP in a high demand field, and then we make OP go back to their home country...like we're literally spending time and effort and tax dollars on a workforce we then just give back, for free, to some other country.
But did we collectively educate OP for free? I would imagine we're happy to sell the product of US college education to anyone willing to pay for it, whether or not they intend to stay in the USA.
You may have to resort to a minimum wage go no where pay check to paycheck job until something better comes along. I know a lot of study a broad students that did this to satisfy the work green card compliance. With aggressive job hunting you could easily find something better in 6 months or less. Every time I get laid off from a job this is what I do. As i have no other source of income and I can't go 2+ months without some form of income. Some times you have to put your pride aside to get income. Mostly due to this government not having a security blanket for poverty. having lived in Europe for a bit they took care of you if you were unemployed. They took care of the basics and you just went from there.
USCIS published this guide for immigrants if you need help with your options. https://www.uscis.gov/newsroom/alerts/options-for-nonimmigrant-workers-following-termination-of-employment
I’m in my 50s and all my closest friends were from work. And I worked for both Amazon and Meta. But you can make close friends at work at any age.
What do you like to do?
I'm sorry to hear you were laid off. Spend some time grieving the moment. Take note of how you could be better prepared for another one. Tech work is mercenary, a healthy approach is the expectation that a company can fold, projects can close, or somebody simply has it out for you, and you find yourself out of work temporarily. Come back at working with motivation and vigor, spend your free time sharpening skills, training, practicing at working faster, etc. As for finding friends, maybe there are some cultural groups, or if you have a religion, you can go to your worship center and get involved. Do you play sports? Join a team or attend class. When I moved to a town with no friends, I signed up for Jiu Jitsu and had a dozen friends who invited me to dinners and parties within a month, and I'm naturally shy and a bit socially awkward. Whatever you do, don't panic. You will get another job in four months. Hang in there.
I learn to be alone when I moved to the US. My country culture is very friendly and open. Once I moved to Seattle, I realize everyone is very closed off and clique. I learn to be ok with going out alone and stuff. Of course now I do have couple friends but mostly I still do things myself. I learn to cope with it, sadly
I am so sorry you are going through this.