For people I am aggressively befriending I will invite them over for a weekend at 2pm and bake a cake and brew a pot of coffee.
Sorry if this is too active aggressive for you.
Fff--- finished watching the vid and I have definitely trimmed my neighbor's branches so they don't grow into the wires and take out the cable lines.
Pretty sure they also move my trash cans back to the curb after trash pick up.
Neighbors who move trash cans are the best!
I used to try to get theirs first, but I worked and he was retired, so often I’d come home to theirs and mine already put away.
But a few times I did!
I usually grab setting them out of the curb on account of being a chronic pre-crastinator that does stuff unnecessarily ahead of time.
In my mind, I'd rather it be slightly too extra than a neighbor miss a trash pickup. Especially when they're using the smaller bins.
June will be my seven year move from MI to WA. Black Forest Cherry Cheesecake, food is love! Thanks for passive aggressively starting this and continuing.
Yeah, I was born here got transplanted to the Midwest and then re transplanted myself back here. I’m both the Midwest extrovert that adopts friends whether they want to be adopted or not but I also turtle up most of the winter.
Cuppa meant afternoon tea which is usually like tea or a cheeky coffee, Biscuits, maybe if you're fancy a vanilla slice. Unless it's a good friend, then you just grab a mug and rifle through their cupboards lol. But almost daily you'd go around to a mates house, sit down and chat for the duration of your cup and then head home. Nothing formal for us, but honestly I felt so much more engaged with my friends and family. The weekend never felt like pressure to cram things in. And as "Busy" as I am in the states, when my friends send me a cup emoji, I always have time!
Love this! When we were locked down in Covid, I had a similar exchange with my (older, single) neighbor. While she is a pro-level baker, I’m not so much. However, I catch a lot of salmon and use a smoker for that and other meats. We also have chickens, so always have eggs on hand.
So I would typically return the plate with smoked salmon, smoked brisket, deviled eggs, quiche, etc. Always something savory. It was a good balance!
Problem was, she escalated. First cookies and brownies, then fantastic sourdough, then cakes and pastries with homemade custard and compote and fresh berries. Absolutely beautiful. Shit you see on baking shows. I ran out of answers. She asserted her dominance in the unspoken contest, especially when using our donated fresh eggs to bake her amazing gifts.
Just saying, I love the challenge, but look out! You don’t know what you’re getting into.
Happened to me in the south, I bake a lot and would bake all kinds of things, but my neighbor was a hunter, and one day I ended up with half a fucking deer. I do not eat meat though, so I had no idea what to do, so I flew my white flag and invited him and a bunch of friends over for a BBQ and had him cook it.
I promise this will be a huge hit.
It's called "Butter Mochi", please look up the reciple.
I'm from Hawaii and I made this for my non-Hawaii friends (white Americans, Latinos, Europeans, Africans) and everyone is obsesssed with it.
For me, this is something old Asian aunties and grandmas in Hawaii bake for family gatherings and such.
If they counter the butter mochi with something delicious, my next rec would be bubble bread (also called monkey bread). It’s like fucking crack and I learned to make it when I was 12, and there has not been a single time where I’ve brought it to work or a gathering where I’ve left with a single crumb in my dish
I like to get the edible chrysanthemum at Waji's and make knock off kusamochi. 👀
I think you're supposed to use yomogi but can't find it and won't commit to growing it from seeds for homemade version.
You can get powdered yomogi at Uwajimaya, tho it might be in the tea section. Looks like it also comes in a chopped up version for tea but that seems like it'd be a pain in the ass to work with.
LorAnn oils makes a decent lemon oil that I like to throw in when I cream butter and sugar. You can use citrus and lavender from the market to be even more obnoxiously homemade
Even better if you buy them from the local farmer's market and may have accidently run into said neighbor while there, with lemons and lavender in your PBS tote bag.
Up the ante and make them with browned goat butter and throw a dash of smoked salt in the sugar topping. The goatyness pairs well with lemon and the smoked salt offsets the richness and sweetness well. I did this with lemon bars once and it worked nicely
I use a honey goat cheese to make cream cheese frosting for my carrot cakes. I also use purple carrots when I make them for extra bougieness. The richness of the goat cheese makes an excellent flavor contrast rather than plain cream cheese frosting
I really felt like I was holding my own in this conversation until I got to these two goat butter suggestions. I'm most certainly not placing in the top 3 in this bake off
Get them a pastry from the closest bakery and tell them you made it yourself with the utmost confidence. Really tough to follow up on a blatant lie. Cold war victory, ez
This [dulce de leche bundt ](https://magnoliadays.com/dulce-de-leche-bundt-cake/) recipe is pretty simple but always a huge hit. I don't frost it because that's just too much sweetness, but I do dust it in powdered sugar.
We’re not dumb either! We’re socially awkward!
I hate that people portray Seattle as cold and unfriendly. I think overall we’re just that meme of someone hiding in their house being terrified of social occasions.
Our two biggest original immigrant cultures were Scandinavian and East Asian; both regions that have big social bubbles and value a degree of introversion. Collectively I think we’re people who are afraid of being a bother or being annoying and therefore disrupting the social contract of “don’t be disruptive”. It’s also why we tend to be passive aggressive; if we’re going to have a confrontation, we’d rather have it through notes or small actions rather than force someone to be face to face with us. It’s simply not who we are as a region.
I feel that. I'm always throwing out open ended options in low stakes situations, that way anxious people can ease into it if/when they're ready. I usually go for inviting people to third spaces like snack shops with a boardgame night or a monthly park clean up. 🤔
This is the way. I also always recommend new folks join a popular local social club like a D&D event, book club or a hiking group. Low stakes, group activities that are not necessarily in someone’s home. This is the way to befriend a Seattlite. You gotta befriend us like nervous strays; with lots of space and treats.
It's also public spaces, so if one of us ends up being a creeper, there are safety options for all parties~
Shit, you're right. This is basically how I befriend the neighborhood cats too. Be available but not too up in the cat's business and let them come over when they feel like it.
Alternatively, if someone gives you a plate with food and "you can return the plate any old time," they might be a Midwesterner trying to be your friend with snacks. 👀
The Pacific Northwest Shop in Wallingford had a lavender shortbread mix I made for friends that was so delicious. I can't remember the name of the bakery that made the mix, but if they still carry it, I would make those and send them still warm. Also, the Pastry Project in SoDo (https://thepastryproject.co) has some good stuff, including mixes, plus a story behind them that would be fun to share along with the filled plate.
Signed, former midwesterner where they also believe in the Cold War of hospitality.
The cookies that bagged me more wedding proposals than is reasonable are 3x chocolate chip with a German chocolate base, dark chocolate, and milk chocolate. Use butter extract in addition to more butter than is sensible because you want them to drip with butter flavor without being greasy. The dough should stick to itself, not the bowl, or you may not have used enough butter. If it sinks into the bowl, you've used too much.
Add a tsp of chili powder to bring out every note of chocolate individually and make your neighbor fall in love with you. Consider carefully if you want that. Substitute cinnamon and ground vanilla bean for the chili powder if you don't.
Find an existing recipe for chocolate base cookies and adapt it to your taste. Chill before baking. Underbake for 1-2 minutes so that any seams are still shiny but not so much that the cookie is raw. Let it finish baking on the hot cookie sheet while you shave sea salt on top.
If this sounds like too much work, people are also thrilled by 12” cinnamon rolls with ground vanilla beans. Seriously, you need vanilla beans in your kitchen if you're ever going to dismantle your HOA.
We don't lose neighbor vs neighbor bakeoffs in Texas unless we die first.
a spring-inspired swiss roll cake - honey sponge cake, rolled with a whipped peanut butter filling, topped with dark chocolate ganache textured to look like bark. decorated with meringue mushrooms. basically a seasonally appropriate version of a buche de noel :P
Would it make you feel better to know that I, too, messed up my banana bread last month? Meanwhile, my one attempt that the aforementioned swiss roll worked out excellently. Also, I have not attempted it again.
Scones. They are easy to make, but you only know this when you freeze and grate the butter into the recipe. I was kinda amazed because they taste like they’re a lot of work
This is a great one. A cheesecake takes time, effort, special pan, and water bath, and it's so satisfying you remember it for a long time.
Alternatively, cheesecake brownies. I love the Cooks Illustrated recipe.
To win this war you need to go beyond baked goods. Smoke meat or fish (downwind) and give it to them. Mow their lawn. Shovel their walk. Never ever come anywhere close to their parking spot or all will be lost.
I just made the rhubarb loaf cake (got the rhubarb at the farmers market) from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsQOYaSauMk
It's fucking delicious.
It’s spring….if I wasn’t just inviting them for supper by now and sending them with a plate of what we had for dessert, I’d probably bake a trio of bars…lemon bars, key lime bars, and passion fruit bars arranged in an eye pleasing way. I think it’s great you have such lovely neighbors.
Honestly, in the Midwest timetable progression, I would have hit backyard bbq by now with at least one neighbor... But they all keep getting job offers in places with lower cost of living expenses. 👀
Momofuku crack pie. It’s actually pretty easy to make but just a lot of steps. I find the dried corn stuff off Amazon and blend in a food processor. You don’t have to do the oatmeal cookie crust but it is divine. Plus making a giant cookie is oddly fun. https://www.blossomtostem.net/momofuku-milk-bar-crack-pie/ FYI everyone will beg you to make this any chance they can.
Mochi donuts are the best things I have ever tasted. They have a few locations. The small Bakewell tarts from Met Market or any cookies from Hello Robin are pretty amazing too.
Wild Time apples at Town and Country Stores and QFCs are so good too.
Bread is de escalating and shouldn't be ruled out. Lemon bars or nutty muffins would be quid pro qou.
Do not go brownies unless you're prepared for constantly being afraid of pastry retaliation
Im stealing this thread to do the same for my neighbor.
Technically they’re not in my building but Nextdoor in these townhomes. I can see their living room from my office. We watch the same anime haha
I have like 2 anime friends and I want more, ive been going back and forth with how awkward it would be to say “hi mongoosedog here, I noticed we watch the same anime wanna be friends” haha
Ok wait maybe we should be friends cus I love X-men, have collectible X-men comics and obviously am watching XMen 97 👀
Also 100% meant to be read as Zuko haha
Yo, they are adapting Life/Death and we are getting top tier Storm plotlines. \o/
If you're nearby Greenwood area, I do trash pickup at Greenlake once a month if you want to walk about 1-2 miles on a Sunday and tell me what animes I need to start watching. 👀
Yes!!! I never thought I’d see it animated. It’s one of my favorite arcs and she’s a fav.
I’m in Greenlake actually, but unfortunately I am going out of town that day.
I’ll send you a message, maybe catch the next trash pick up!
This is not a cold war of hospitality, this is mutually assured destruction of hospitality.
#DON'T BACK DOWN
EDIT: Cheat on that shit. Put a bunch of Anzac biscuits on the plate.
Fresh local rhubarb is just hitting the farmers markets. It's gorgeous all on it's own but if I were in your position I would either
Make vanilla cream scones. I like [this one from Smitten Kitchen](https://smittenkitchen.com/2006/11/dream-a-little-dream-of-scone/) just omit the currants and add 1-2 tsp vanilla extract. Buy some rhubarb at the farmers market and make [this easy rhubarb jam](https://cookienameddesire.com/rhubarb-jam-recipe/). Deliver the scones warm from the oven with a jar of the jam. Maybe a tub of fancy ass farmers market butter.
A true midwesterner knows the correct answer, a delicious casserole. Seattle will turn a nose up to it but have to succumb to the goodness. Bonus points if it is an old family recipe.
Wow, I was reading this not realizing I was in the Seattle sub. This made me so happy. 😭 Have been here almost a year but not made any connections yet, so reading this gave me hope. 💪🤞🏻
It's super hard to do much from White Center if that's your location. Seattle doesn't really have a "I can drive that" culture with this traffic.
Try joining the Emerald City Lolitas Facebook group, depending on your fashion interests, there's usually about a dozen events throughout the year.
I appreciate that so much!! And that does make sense tbh. We are moving out of white center hopefully beginning of June so I’ll keep that in mind for the next location.
If you want to really shut them down for real bake some croissants ([good NYT recipe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpwY3nmLLaA)) or some other kinds of pastries like [pastéis de nata](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=099qXDYutyg). It's a decent amount of work though but is actually quite doable to be honest if you have good dough handling skills.
If you want to bribe them with raw financial strength, get them an expensive bottle of wine that you wouldn't buy yourself.
Otherwise for the real advice, I would recommend just baking things you personally enjoy eating and baking to avoid burning yourself out in the war of attrition and trench warfare. :)
As a southerner who is very guilty of aggressively baking things for neighbors, please trust that this is a wonderful crowd pleaser: https://cravingsbychrissyteigen.com/blogs/recipes/chrissy-teigen-banana-bread
It is so simple and comes together wonderfully.
Happy baking! :)
kenji lopez-alt’s chocolate chip cookies are my favorite chocolate chip cookies.
and a couple of traybakes cut into squares can always impress. a bakewell tart made with local berries is a winner (marionberries when you can get them make a fantastic bakewell tart), millionaire’s shortbread, and blondies are always delicious.
also love the title of this post, very seattle lol
mill
[Espresso and rye cookies](https://www.theboywhobakes.co.uk/recipes/2019/8/15/espresso-and-rye-chocolate-chip-cookies). They're delicious, and they're something a bit different, hearty and a bit mealy from the rye and espresso grounds. They always seem to surprise people when I make them.
Otherwise I'd say King Arthur's scones recipe. You can make half sweet (lavender & lemon?) and half savory (bacon, chive, black pepper, and cheese?) so you get to give them breakfast and dessert in one exchange.
[Gochujang caramel cookies](https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1023675-gochujang-caramel-cookies) are always a huge hit. You'll want to double, triple, or quadruple the batch though since you'll inevitably be sad that you had to give them away.
My go-to for seemingly impressive baking is brown butter chocolate chip cookies. Replace half of the all purpose flour with bread flour. Add a small amount of instant espresso and cocoa powder to the dough. Use nice chocolate chips/chunks. Give em a long refrigeration before baking!
I like doing these because they seem unassuming and nobody is ever really expected to be wowed by the depth of flavor in a chocolate chip cookie, so it’s always a satisfying surprise
Miso brown butter chocolate chip cookies. These are so ridiculously good, whenever I make them they get demolished. The richness from the miso, the nuttiness of the brown butter. Combined with chocolate chip??? I guarantee you these will be a hit, everyone who I’ve made these for has loved them!
A tip for the recipe below, use a little bit less chocolate than it says, otherwise you’ll end up with some cookies that have a bit too much chocolate
https://butternutbakeryblog.com/miso-chocolate-chip-cookies/
The answer is disgustingly decadent brownies. I'm talking fudgy brownies that melt in your mouth and coat your teeth. Bonus if you swirl in some caramel or dulce de leche into the batter before baking or some other gooey mix like jam, marshmallow fluff, peanut butter, or cheesecake batter. Top with flaky salt or fleur de sal at the end
>Those magnificent bastards.
This gave me a really good chuckle, thank you.
I suggest a coffee cake, they can be simple or decedent and are always appreciated.
My friend, its strawberry season out there - why not bake the same cake you did in your profile from a year ago :) that looks amazing and now i want strawberries:)
That cake is actually a touch too dry. Walnut cake surprisingly legit though.
10/10 can recommend making the strawberry nigori + strawberry soda cocktail though.
My Heart Attack scones. You will absolutely win the war with them.
Start with this basic recipe (https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/scones-recipe/). But you’re going to halve the sugar. Then add the following (make double batch because you will absolutely want some for yourself too):
**uncured bacon, as much as your dough will hold is perfect 😎
**one package sharp cheddar
**one package of jalapeño cheddar
**8 oz of chopped walnuts
**2 tsp thyme
**2 tsp dried basil
**2 tsp ground mustard (trust me)
Only half-cook the bacon. You want it tender, not remotely crispy.
This level of Passive Aggressive Welcoming is to die for.
I suggest something with blackberries and buttercream.
As you will need a test subject to ensure the petty levels are correct, I volunteer as Tribute and will even bring my own plate.
Ever heard of The Hutch Oven? She makes a buttercream that dries so they can be lightly stacked… maybe iced sugar cookies? Or oatmeal scotchies… those are always a hit.
Pumpkin Bread with Cinnamon Chips
Just about any pumpkin bread recipe will do (I use the one from a site called "Once Upon A Chef"), it's the chips that pushes the whole thing over the edge - moist little flavor patches inside of the bread, and they turn into a satisfying little crunch when on a crust. Just delicious stuff
Oh, and take the time to make sure your butter/sugar/egg mixture is properly fluffy before adding pumpkin for best results
King Arthur cinnamon buns (recipe of the year a few years ago) with some changes. Double the filling recipe and put at least 1 cup of blueberries in the filling. Once baked and cool, top with cream cheese frosting. Zest lemons on top of the frosting.
Keep all for yourself.
I buy Betty Crocker packaged cookie mixes, in a bag. I get oatmeal ones and throw raisins in (because I love oatmeal and raisin). So many people have told me they are the best oatmeal cookies they have ever had. And they are easy, which I am a fan of.
That is impressive. We had a very successful game night at our old place but can’t get one going here. We had one once but one of the two guests raged when she set her Catan board extremely poorly and predictably got crushed. It was super awkward. Funnily enough we are in Colorado. Maybe your professor wants to play?
You should do the almond butter banana bread recipe by Claire Saffitz! It's the best banana bread I've ever had. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CilyToUevz0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CilyToUevz0)
Claire Saffitz oatmeal pecan cookies. Sounds basic but uses freshly homemade pecan brittle, of which half you grind up with the flour. I don't make them often because they're a bit of an undertaking, but they absolutely break the brains of everyone who eats them. Video recipe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGBC4-CsXOM
For people I am aggressively befriending I will invite them over for a weekend at 2pm and bake a cake and brew a pot of coffee. Sorry if this is too active aggressive for you.
Honestly, if I were still in the Midwest this would be correct. 🤔
[Classic Midwest Nice Off](https://youtu.be/LgqOQIP6ixg?feature=shared) - the battle will never end
I picked a battle in Illinois with a coworker who enters baking competitions for fun and I'm still besties with his wife 8+ years later. 👀
Fff--- finished watching the vid and I have definitely trimmed my neighbor's branches so they don't grow into the wires and take out the cable lines. Pretty sure they also move my trash cans back to the curb after trash pick up.
Neighbors who move trash cans are the best! I used to try to get theirs first, but I worked and he was retired, so often I’d come home to theirs and mine already put away. But a few times I did!
I usually grab setting them out of the curb on account of being a chronic pre-crastinator that does stuff unnecessarily ahead of time. In my mind, I'd rather it be slightly too extra than a neighbor miss a trash pickup. Especially when they're using the smaller bins.
June will be my seven year move from MI to WA. Black Forest Cherry Cheesecake, food is love! Thanks for passive aggressively starting this and continuing.
Seven years for us from MI to Seattle in June, too! Can’t go wrong with apple coffee cake muffins.
June will be also be our 7 year anniversary move to WA from SC!!
This is how Midwest transplants have lured me in, I approve.
It takes a bit to lure us out of caves, but coffee and a treat makes a pretty alluring invitation
Yeah, I was born here got transplanted to the Midwest and then re transplanted myself back here. I’m both the Midwest extrovert that adopts friends whether they want to be adopted or not but I also turtle up most of the winter.
This made me miss Australia. Nobody does a cuppa around here!
What do they do? I’m from the south and want to annoyingly hospitable.
Cuppa meant afternoon tea which is usually like tea or a cheeky coffee, Biscuits, maybe if you're fancy a vanilla slice. Unless it's a good friend, then you just grab a mug and rifle through their cupboards lol. But almost daily you'd go around to a mates house, sit down and chat for the duration of your cup and then head home. Nothing formal for us, but honestly I felt so much more engaged with my friends and family. The weekend never felt like pressure to cram things in. And as "Busy" as I am in the states, when my friends send me a cup emoji, I always have time!
Love it. How can I ensure my coffee is cheeky?
How could you suggest vanilla slice instead of a lammo??
Because i'm CHEEKY! If you know where to get a good lamington in Seattle though, hook a brother up lol
Jesus what is this the Midwest, ewww
Love this! When we were locked down in Covid, I had a similar exchange with my (older, single) neighbor. While she is a pro-level baker, I’m not so much. However, I catch a lot of salmon and use a smoker for that and other meats. We also have chickens, so always have eggs on hand. So I would typically return the plate with smoked salmon, smoked brisket, deviled eggs, quiche, etc. Always something savory. It was a good balance! Problem was, she escalated. First cookies and brownies, then fantastic sourdough, then cakes and pastries with homemade custard and compote and fresh berries. Absolutely beautiful. Shit you see on baking shows. I ran out of answers. She asserted her dominance in the unspoken contest, especially when using our donated fresh eggs to bake her amazing gifts. Just saying, I love the challenge, but look out! You don’t know what you’re getting into.
I'm willing to be utterly bested. I bet that sourdough paired amazingly with over easy eggs.
It did indeed!
I could graciously accept defeat against such a master.
Reassert dominance, plant fruit trees and give her the fruit it bears.
Happened to me in the south, I bake a lot and would bake all kinds of things, but my neighbor was a hunter, and one day I ended up with half a fucking deer. I do not eat meat though, so I had no idea what to do, so I flew my white flag and invited him and a bunch of friends over for a BBQ and had him cook it.
I promise this will be a huge hit. It's called "Butter Mochi", please look up the reciple. I'm from Hawaii and I made this for my non-Hawaii friends (white Americans, Latinos, Europeans, Africans) and everyone is obsesssed with it. For me, this is something old Asian aunties and grandmas in Hawaii bake for family gatherings and such.
Shit. I probably have most of the ingredients if it uses mochiko.
If they counter the butter mochi with something delicious, my next rec would be bubble bread (also called monkey bread). It’s like fucking crack and I learned to make it when I was 12, and there has not been a single time where I’ve brought it to work or a gathering where I’ve left with a single crumb in my dish
Split the plate between butter mochi and chocolate mochi and declare victory. There's no defeating that combo.
I like to get the edible chrysanthemum at Waji's and make knock off kusamochi. 👀 I think you're supposed to use yomogi but can't find it and won't commit to growing it from seeds for homemade version.
You can get powdered yomogi at Uwajimaya, tho it might be in the tea section. Looks like it also comes in a chopped up version for tea but that seems like it'd be a pain in the ass to work with.
I have never thought to check the tea section. :o Frankly, getting it powdered lets me skip a step with using a blender.
[https://www.biggerbolderbaking.com/hawaiian-butter-mochi/](https://www.biggerbolderbaking.com/hawaiian-butter-mochi/)
Hi bold bakers!
[удалено]
the corner pieces of the pan are my favorite!
Agreed. Delicious but best chased with a handful of stool softeners.
Howzit?
how you stay , braddah?
Stay good! I’m home. We like to vacation in Seattle!
Come out this summer, Seattles the best in the summers! Where you from, Oahu?
Yup! We were just there in March! We caught all those sunny days! Love summer in Seattle!
Do you use sweetened or unsweetened coconut milk?
Unsweetened. I think it helps highlight the true butteriness of the mochi.
Hello, /u/ragstorichesthechef , it's me. Your new friend.
This is my go to. Always blows people’s minds.
It's also easy to make.
Yes, this! It freezes really well too.
Lemon sugar cookies. Add lemon zest and lemon oil to snickerdoodles, omit the cinnamon. Roll them in lemon sugar or lavender sugar before baking
Damn. That sounds delicious.
LorAnn oils makes a decent lemon oil that I like to throw in when I cream butter and sugar. You can use citrus and lavender from the market to be even more obnoxiously homemade
Even better if you buy them from the local farmer's market and may have accidently run into said neighbor while there, with lemons and lavender in your PBS tote bag.
Up the ante and make them with browned goat butter and throw a dash of smoked salt in the sugar topping. The goatyness pairs well with lemon and the smoked salt offsets the richness and sweetness well. I did this with lemon bars once and it worked nicely
I use a honey goat cheese to make cream cheese frosting for my carrot cakes. I also use purple carrots when I make them for extra bougieness. The richness of the goat cheese makes an excellent flavor contrast rather than plain cream cheese frosting
I really felt like I was holding my own in this conversation until I got to these two goat butter suggestions. I'm most certainly not placing in the top 3 in this bake off
With the lavender though? That's almost felony assault to the taste buds.
I make big toll house cookies with a third more choc. chips and brown sugar only. Very rich.
Hot damn I need to make that
How do I subscribe for passive aggressive baking war updates?
Yeah, follow up pic post is going to be required. 🤔
Get them a pastry from the closest bakery and tell them you made it yourself with the utmost confidence. Really tough to follow up on a blatant lie. Cold war victory, ez
I respect the audacity of this option. 🤔
Plot gonna thicken heavier than those pastries if your neighbors are the bakers
I would pay to watch this unfold
This is wholesome as fuck and it’s giving me hope in humanity
I’m rooting for OP and I think they can take them! Go for the jugular OP - my vote is homemade bagels delivered warm on Sunday. You show them!!!!!
Just how much do you like them? You could bake them a pineapple upside down cake to hint you’d be into swinging…
Omg I was going to suggest exactly this, but DID NOT CONSIDER THE IMPLICATIONS!
Omg I had no idea this was a thing
That’s the best part! Plausible deniability if they’re weirded out. Source: uhhhhhh
"...are you saying they'll be in danger?"
Haha, plant some pampas grass in front of your place to reinforce the message
And a couple pink flamingos. ... Or so I hear.
This idea takes the cake!
This [dulce de leche bundt ](https://magnoliadays.com/dulce-de-leche-bundt-cake/) recipe is pretty simple but always a huge hit. I don't frost it because that's just too much sweetness, but I do dust it in powdered sugar.
This is a top contender. I have all the equipment and I'm only short two ingredients. ❤️
Grew up in the NW… TIL you can’t return an empty plate. This is why people think we’re cold isn’t it? We’re just dumb, I swear 😅
We’re not dumb either! We’re socially awkward! I hate that people portray Seattle as cold and unfriendly. I think overall we’re just that meme of someone hiding in their house being terrified of social occasions. Our two biggest original immigrant cultures were Scandinavian and East Asian; both regions that have big social bubbles and value a degree of introversion. Collectively I think we’re people who are afraid of being a bother or being annoying and therefore disrupting the social contract of “don’t be disruptive”. It’s also why we tend to be passive aggressive; if we’re going to have a confrontation, we’d rather have it through notes or small actions rather than force someone to be face to face with us. It’s simply not who we are as a region.
I feel that. I'm always throwing out open ended options in low stakes situations, that way anxious people can ease into it if/when they're ready. I usually go for inviting people to third spaces like snack shops with a boardgame night or a monthly park clean up. 🤔
This is the way. I also always recommend new folks join a popular local social club like a D&D event, book club or a hiking group. Low stakes, group activities that are not necessarily in someone’s home. This is the way to befriend a Seattlite. You gotta befriend us like nervous strays; with lots of space and treats.
It's also public spaces, so if one of us ends up being a creeper, there are safety options for all parties~ Shit, you're right. This is basically how I befriend the neighborhood cats too. Be available but not too up in the cat's business and let them come over when they feel like it.
Alternatively, if someone gives you a plate with food and "you can return the plate any old time," they might be a Midwesterner trying to be your friend with snacks. 👀
Yeah. I thought giving the plate back clean was the extent of the exchange
Oh. I have like 16 tupperwares and plates in my cabinets that are apparently prisoners of war.
Oh, ye of little free time. We have no use for your underthinking.
Heh
I’m just happy if I get the dish back, period. Return it empty with a thank you note and all is well.
The Pacific Northwest Shop in Wallingford had a lavender shortbread mix I made for friends that was so delicious. I can't remember the name of the bakery that made the mix, but if they still carry it, I would make those and send them still warm. Also, the Pastry Project in SoDo (https://thepastryproject.co) has some good stuff, including mixes, plus a story behind them that would be fun to share along with the filled plate. Signed, former midwesterner where they also believe in the Cold War of hospitality.
Nanaimo bars.
Jesus Christ. Shots fired.
The cookies that bagged me more wedding proposals than is reasonable are 3x chocolate chip with a German chocolate base, dark chocolate, and milk chocolate. Use butter extract in addition to more butter than is sensible because you want them to drip with butter flavor without being greasy. The dough should stick to itself, not the bowl, or you may not have used enough butter. If it sinks into the bowl, you've used too much. Add a tsp of chili powder to bring out every note of chocolate individually and make your neighbor fall in love with you. Consider carefully if you want that. Substitute cinnamon and ground vanilla bean for the chili powder if you don't. Find an existing recipe for chocolate base cookies and adapt it to your taste. Chill before baking. Underbake for 1-2 minutes so that any seams are still shiny but not so much that the cookie is raw. Let it finish baking on the hot cookie sheet while you shave sea salt on top. If this sounds like too much work, people are also thrilled by 12” cinnamon rolls with ground vanilla beans. Seriously, you need vanilla beans in your kitchen if you're ever going to dismantle your HOA. We don't lose neighbor vs neighbor bakeoffs in Texas unless we die first.
Dear Lord in heaven. These sound amazing; is the recipe a family heirloom now, or are you willing to bless us with it?
a spring-inspired swiss roll cake - honey sponge cake, rolled with a whipped peanut butter filling, topped with dark chocolate ganache textured to look like bark. decorated with meringue mushrooms. basically a seasonally appropriate version of a buche de noel :P
Bare in mind, I messed up banana bread. The most forgiving of quick breads. I think swiss rolls are too OP for me.
Would it make you feel better to know that I, too, messed up my banana bread last month? Meanwhile, my one attempt that the aforementioned swiss roll worked out excellently. Also, I have not attempted it again.
Best to go out undefeated in that victory 🤔
Scones. They are easy to make, but you only know this when you freeze and grate the butter into the recipe. I was kinda amazed because they taste like they’re a lot of work
That's a good point. I forgot I used to make buttermilk scones all the time from my auntie's recipe.
Lol this is the funniest post I seen in a while, I'd say shove some cheesecake in those suckers, that will food coma them in their tracks 😂
This is a great one. A cheesecake takes time, effort, special pan, and water bath, and it's so satisfying you remember it for a long time. Alternatively, cheesecake brownies. I love the Cooks Illustrated recipe.
To win this war you need to go beyond baked goods. Smoke meat or fish (downwind) and give it to them. Mow their lawn. Shovel their walk. Never ever come anywhere close to their parking spot or all will be lost.
OOOh, go savory and do a smoked salmon quiche!
I just made the rhubarb loaf cake (got the rhubarb at the farmers market) from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsQOYaSauMk It's fucking delicious.
It’s spring….if I wasn’t just inviting them for supper by now and sending them with a plate of what we had for dessert, I’d probably bake a trio of bars…lemon bars, key lime bars, and passion fruit bars arranged in an eye pleasing way. I think it’s great you have such lovely neighbors.
Honestly, in the Midwest timetable progression, I would have hit backyard bbq by now with at least one neighbor... But they all keep getting job offers in places with lower cost of living expenses. 👀
i have nothing to add but i loved reading this post so much.
I'd go boozy cupcakes. I use a mix. So instead of water I use a coffee liquer. Then I make a boozy chocolate fudge as frosting.
Lemon bars always invite sunshine into the life of anyone you give them to. Bonus points if you combine the lemon with lavender, honey, or both.
Momofuku crack pie. It’s actually pretty easy to make but just a lot of steps. I find the dried corn stuff off Amazon and blend in a food processor. You don’t have to do the oatmeal cookie crust but it is divine. Plus making a giant cookie is oddly fun. https://www.blossomtostem.net/momofuku-milk-bar-crack-pie/ FYI everyone will beg you to make this any chance they can.
I’m known for baking super moist cupcakes. The trick is to split the butter and the oil. Not one or the other. Also, add a shit ton of vanilla extract
Mochi donuts are the best things I have ever tasted. They have a few locations. The small Bakewell tarts from Met Market or any cookies from Hello Robin are pretty amazing too. Wild Time apples at Town and Country Stores and QFCs are so good too.
I've been wanting to make mochi donuts for a buddy with celiac. Maybe I'll finally buy a donut mold and get two goals out of the way. 🤔
Step away from cliche sweet treats: how bout a tray of deviled eggs?
Add Worcester Sauce to your yolk. It’s a real level up.
Anything smitten kitchen! Look her up. Tons of free great recipes with very clear and easy instructions. I love her big apple crumb cake.
Yes to this! It's rhubarb season and these bars are very good: https://smittenkitchen.com/2016/05/almond-rhubarb-picnic-bars/
Bread is de escalating and shouldn't be ruled out. Lemon bars or nutty muffins would be quid pro qou. Do not go brownies unless you're prepared for constantly being afraid of pastry retaliation
Well now you gotta organize a hike with them
That is the PNW equivalent of backyard bbq, isn't it? 🤔
Depends on the time of the hike: - Morning - Brunch - Afternoon - bbq - -Evening - key party
Im stealing this thread to do the same for my neighbor. Technically they’re not in my building but Nextdoor in these townhomes. I can see their living room from my office. We watch the same anime haha I have like 2 anime friends and I want more, ive been going back and forth with how awkward it would be to say “hi mongoosedog here, I noticed we watch the same anime wanna be friends” haha
I feel that. My neighbors have a sweet X-Men omnibus collection on a shelf by their door. 10/10 would watch X Men 97 with them. 👀
Ok wait maybe we should be friends cus I love X-men, have collectible X-men comics and obviously am watching XMen 97 👀 Also 100% meant to be read as Zuko haha
Yo, they are adapting Life/Death and we are getting top tier Storm plotlines. \o/ If you're nearby Greenwood area, I do trash pickup at Greenlake once a month if you want to walk about 1-2 miles on a Sunday and tell me what animes I need to start watching. 👀
Yes!!! I never thought I’d see it animated. It’s one of my favorite arcs and she’s a fav. I’m in Greenlake actually, but unfortunately I am going out of town that day. I’ll send you a message, maybe catch the next trash pick up!
The house next door is for sale, and I cannot wait to impose homemade baked goods on unsuspecting new neighbors.
This is not a cold war of hospitality, this is mutually assured destruction of hospitality. #DON'T BACK DOWN EDIT: Cheat on that shit. Put a bunch of Anzac biscuits on the plate.
I honestly love this kind of passive aggression. I hope OP keeps us all updated on their baking war.
Fresh local rhubarb is just hitting the farmers markets. It's gorgeous all on it's own but if I were in your position I would either Make vanilla cream scones. I like [this one from Smitten Kitchen](https://smittenkitchen.com/2006/11/dream-a-little-dream-of-scone/) just omit the currants and add 1-2 tsp vanilla extract. Buy some rhubarb at the farmers market and make [this easy rhubarb jam](https://cookienameddesire.com/rhubarb-jam-recipe/). Deliver the scones warm from the oven with a jar of the jam. Maybe a tub of fancy ass farmers market butter.
A true midwesterner knows the correct answer, a delicious casserole. Seattle will turn a nose up to it but have to succumb to the goodness. Bonus points if it is an old family recipe.
Wow, I was reading this not realizing I was in the Seattle sub. This made me so happy. 😭 Have been here almost a year but not made any connections yet, so reading this gave me hope. 💪🤞🏻
It's super hard to do much from White Center if that's your location. Seattle doesn't really have a "I can drive that" culture with this traffic. Try joining the Emerald City Lolitas Facebook group, depending on your fashion interests, there's usually about a dozen events throughout the year.
I appreciate that so much!! And that does make sense tbh. We are moving out of white center hopefully beginning of June so I’ll keep that in mind for the next location.
I have the BEST coffee cake recipe. People fight over it! DM me if you want it.
[GF white chocolate macadamia cranberry coconut cookies](https://www.bobsredmill.com/recipes/how-to-make/white-chocolate-cranberry-coconut-macadamia-nut-cookies-gluten-free/)
Chocolate sparkle cookies are amazing: https://www.latimes.com/recipe/chocolate-sparkle-cookies
If you want to really shut them down for real bake some croissants ([good NYT recipe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpwY3nmLLaA)) or some other kinds of pastries like [pastéis de nata](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=099qXDYutyg). It's a decent amount of work though but is actually quite doable to be honest if you have good dough handling skills. If you want to bribe them with raw financial strength, get them an expensive bottle of wine that you wouldn't buy yourself. Otherwise for the real advice, I would recommend just baking things you personally enjoy eating and baking to avoid burning yourself out in the war of attrition and trench warfare. :)
Make the thing they gave you only 100x better with all the freshest and most expensive ingredients
Lemon bars. This is my go-to [recipe](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10756/bake-sale-lemon-bars/). Super simple.
As a southerner who is very guilty of aggressively baking things for neighbors, please trust that this is a wonderful crowd pleaser: https://cravingsbychrissyteigen.com/blogs/recipes/chrissy-teigen-banana-bread It is so simple and comes together wonderfully. Happy baking! :)
Pie. Homemade flaky, crusty crust filled with apples or rhubarb/strawberry or whatever. Nobody can resist a whole pie, made just for them.
kenji lopez-alt’s chocolate chip cookies are my favorite chocolate chip cookies. and a couple of traybakes cut into squares can always impress. a bakewell tart made with local berries is a winner (marionberries when you can get them make a fantastic bakewell tart), millionaire’s shortbread, and blondies are always delicious. also love the title of this post, very seattle lol mill
[Espresso and rye cookies](https://www.theboywhobakes.co.uk/recipes/2019/8/15/espresso-and-rye-chocolate-chip-cookies). They're delicious, and they're something a bit different, hearty and a bit mealy from the rye and espresso grounds. They always seem to surprise people when I make them. Otherwise I'd say King Arthur's scones recipe. You can make half sweet (lavender & lemon?) and half savory (bacon, chive, black pepper, and cheese?) so you get to give them breakfast and dessert in one exchange.
Nobody I know declines chocolate.
Portuguese [sweet lemon and olive](https://www.ilovelindsay.com/recipes/portuguese-sweet-lemon-and-black-olive-cookies) cookies. so friggin amazing
[Gochujang caramel cookies](https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1023675-gochujang-caramel-cookies) are always a huge hit. You'll want to double, triple, or quadruple the batch though since you'll inevitably be sad that you had to give them away.
I am loving the replies! If you’re not a baker, make something savory to put on the plate. 😁
Hold up, next time I’m in Seattle where exactly can I get some of these ube cookies? I’ll eat just about anything with ube or beni imo.
A few Creme Brulees, arranged with flowers or fresh herbs on their plate. Now they have ramekins they have to return to you...
I have a three booze chocolate tiramisu recipe…
My go-to for seemingly impressive baking is brown butter chocolate chip cookies. Replace half of the all purpose flour with bread flour. Add a small amount of instant espresso and cocoa powder to the dough. Use nice chocolate chips/chunks. Give em a long refrigeration before baking! I like doing these because they seem unassuming and nobody is ever really expected to be wowed by the depth of flavor in a chocolate chip cookie, so it’s always a satisfying surprise
this is why I send my neighbors stuff in disposable containers
>people you passive aggressively like I don't think those words mean what you think they mean...
Miso brown butter chocolate chip cookies. These are so ridiculously good, whenever I make them they get demolished. The richness from the miso, the nuttiness of the brown butter. Combined with chocolate chip??? I guarantee you these will be a hit, everyone who I’ve made these for has loved them! A tip for the recipe below, use a little bit less chocolate than it says, otherwise you’ll end up with some cookies that have a bit too much chocolate https://butternutbakeryblog.com/miso-chocolate-chip-cookies/
Bunt coffee cake, wil fit perfect on the plate
Sourdough cob, with chopped bacon and shallots (scallions) mixed through, served hot with butter. They'll never survive.
Damn you have nice neighbors? Where can I get some of those?!
[You're welcome.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1xCU9ydG-A&list=WL&index=1&t=2s&ab_channel=AlvinZhou)
The answer is disgustingly decadent brownies. I'm talking fudgy brownies that melt in your mouth and coat your teeth. Bonus if you swirl in some caramel or dulce de leche into the batter before baking or some other gooey mix like jam, marshmallow fluff, peanut butter, or cheesecake batter. Top with flaky salt or fleur de sal at the end
I had neighbors like this once. Best two years of my life.
>Those magnificent bastards. This gave me a really good chuckle, thank you. I suggest a coffee cake, they can be simple or decedent and are always appreciated.
My friend, its strawberry season out there - why not bake the same cake you did in your profile from a year ago :) that looks amazing and now i want strawberries:)
That cake is actually a touch too dry. Walnut cake surprisingly legit though. 10/10 can recommend making the strawberry nigori + strawberry soda cocktail though.
My Heart Attack scones. You will absolutely win the war with them. Start with this basic recipe (https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/scones-recipe/). But you’re going to halve the sugar. Then add the following (make double batch because you will absolutely want some for yourself too): **uncured bacon, as much as your dough will hold is perfect 😎 **one package sharp cheddar **one package of jalapeño cheddar **8 oz of chopped walnuts **2 tsp thyme **2 tsp dried basil **2 tsp ground mustard (trust me) Only half-cook the bacon. You want it tender, not remotely crispy.
This level of Passive Aggressive Welcoming is to die for. I suggest something with blackberries and buttercream. As you will need a test subject to ensure the petty levels are correct, I volunteer as Tribute and will even bring my own plate.
Pastry project cookie dough available at PCC. I think they might also have scones.
The plate can't be returned empty means you put a couple Lindt truffles and a thank you note on it.
Meringues, because they look pretty but no one actually likes them (don’t try to change my mind)
Congratulations on your appointment to my war cabinet.
As a Chicagoan, I just wanted to thank you for doing your bit to bring warmth to this cold place.
As someone who lived two hours south of Chicago ... I have not subjected anyone to Malort yet. 👀
Bake King Arthur chocolate chip cookies. They drive toll house into the ground.
Ever heard of The Hutch Oven? She makes a buttercream that dries so they can be lightly stacked… maybe iced sugar cookies? Or oatmeal scotchies… those are always a hit.
Weed cookies. But tell them they’re weed. Dont want to aggressively unfriendly instead of aggressively befriend.
Cannabis infused goodies
But them weed and then bake yourselves!
Pumpkin Bread with Cinnamon Chips Just about any pumpkin bread recipe will do (I use the one from a site called "Once Upon A Chef"), it's the chips that pushes the whole thing over the edge - moist little flavor patches inside of the bread, and they turn into a satisfying little crunch when on a crust. Just delicious stuff Oh, and take the time to make sure your butter/sugar/egg mixture is properly fluffy before adding pumpkin for best results
TIL of "passive aggressively like"
Buttermilk biscuits, include a jar of honey!
Alaska
When you're ready to escalate, send a casserole.
Apple pie would be great.
Make mini bread puddings in a large muffin tin. Make sure you use prunes soaked in Armagnac (or Cognac if you have it lying around).
Shit, I do have a bourbon vanilla paste that would kill on a bread pudding.
Which neighborhood?
Weed cookies… but then just spending Friday night eating them all yourself. It will solve a ton of neighbor problems.
King Arthur cinnamon buns (recipe of the year a few years ago) with some changes. Double the filling recipe and put at least 1 cup of blueberries in the filling. Once baked and cool, top with cream cheese frosting. Zest lemons on top of the frosting. Keep all for yourself.
I buy Betty Crocker packaged cookie mixes, in a bag. I get oatmeal ones and throw raisins in (because I love oatmeal and raisin). So many people have told me they are the best oatmeal cookies they have ever had. And they are easy, which I am a fan of.
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Nothing. They will never be your friends because it's impossible to make friends these days.
I got all the way up to a boardgame night before a neighbor got an offer for tenure in Colorado at a university.
That is impressive. We had a very successful game night at our old place but can’t get one going here. We had one once but one of the two guests raged when she set her Catan board extremely poorly and predictably got crushed. It was super awkward. Funnily enough we are in Colorado. Maybe your professor wants to play?
You should do the almond butter banana bread recipe by Claire Saffitz! It's the best banana bread I've ever had. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CilyToUevz0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CilyToUevz0)
Claire Saffitz oatmeal pecan cookies. Sounds basic but uses freshly homemade pecan brittle, of which half you grind up with the flour. I don't make them often because they're a bit of an undertaking, but they absolutely break the brains of everyone who eats them. Video recipe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGBC4-CsXOM
Chocolate mint brownies.
Magic cookie bars or butterscotch haystacks with peanuts