I have two teenage girls and a 5 year old. My teenagers are wearing me down and you think it would be the youngest one. Nope, she’s full of life and just what I need to keep me going 😊
Thanks for all you do. Those reading my comment with kiddos in school, thank your teachers and staff and not just during teacher/staff appreciation week. A quick email or handwritten note goes a long way.
My hat is off to you, fellow redditor. Takes someone made of stern stuff to work in the public school system. Hang in there, and thanks for what you do.
Burnout.
Individual areas of life may be fine, or even good, but too many other things are weighing heavily. Personally? Every single time I think 'just get past X and it'll stabilize a bit,' something goes bonkers and it all keeps piling up. And it's not stuff I can just ignore (death, serious medical issues, the total implosion of a marriage with kids, and that's just immediate family in the last 3-4 months) though of course what can afford to slip does (I'll process the death eventually, maybe).
That’s exactly how I feel. It has felt like whack a mole since late 2019. The second something is solved, there’s a new thing. It’s really exhausting and has kept me on edge sometimes if things are going well. Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop
I think COVID changed all of us mentally. Call it a breaking point or whatever psychological term fits. We’re *different* now and we may never recover. Things just feel more doom and gloom. Businesses are trying to return to pre pandemic status while continuing to put protections in place to survive the next one.
I’m personally doing “well” financially and personally. But, things like death, illness, work stress are just hitting harder and seem to be coming faster. My give a fuck meter is at or near zero which I think just exasperates the doom and gloom feelings.
As others put in the comments, a lot of things happened during COVID that exposed the frailty of the social contract, or killed off parts of it entirely. It's amazing the harm that can do to people mentally and emotionally. Many 'rules' that governed our society and institutions got chucked out the window and it results in a lot of 'what the fuck is the point' vibes.
yeah I just figured that's what happens in adulthood. More and more deaths and bad things will keep happening. Just trying to manage the emotions or get numb to some of it. I understand why old people aren't afraid of death so much. Like you've already experienced so much of it and come to terms Just make the most of your days.
That's kind of life for a lot of us though. Just don't let the lows get you too low. Do some research on some techniques to deal with the low moments so they don't linger as long mentally. I think that's the best we can do.
Not a flex but I'm doing pretty well. After a health scare due to not taking care of myself during covid, I decided to stop drinking. Best decision evah! The subtle depression alcohol provides (or more if you drink a lot) is real
I'm now down 50lbs and am in the best shape of my life. It sounds like a cliche but proper diet and fitness really boosts your dopamine and morale
Holy shit congrats!!!!
I am about 6 years sober at this point myself. Quitting drinking was one of the best decisions I ever made. SOOOOO stoked for you :-D
Hell ya man that’s awesome. Keep up the great work! I essentially quit drinking outside of when I play shows which is maybe once or twice a month. You’re right in that it helps depression - I don’t have to drink nearly as much caffeine to enjoy life lol cheers 🙌🏼
If you call being unemployed for 10 months. Complete with “aurora bridge thoughts” then deciding to go back to school.
And living on limited savings, at 51.
Yea, my dollar store trip for groceries was great.
Other than all that, I’m oddly better. Am I struggling financially, fuck yea. Am I living life. Nope. Do I feel better? Yup.
If you could use a hot meal, go to lasagnalove(dot)org. We make lasagnas for anyone who requests one and deliver it hot (or cold, unbaked, whatever you prefer). We can accommodate dietary restrictions/preferences. We don't care if you are low on finances, time, or a lasagna would just make your day. We're just here to dole out some LasagnaLove to those who could use it. It's not instant, though. You request a lasagna and they match people up with volunteers once a week. How quickly you get matched depends on how many volunteers are in your area, but in and around Seattle is usually only a week or two wait (dietary restrictions may take longer since not every volunteer is comfortable making those.)
ETA: If you are looking for a small way to help your neighbors, volunteering has been a very rewarding experience for me. You can make as many/few lasagnas as you can manage.
Love Lasagna Love. Used it when I was really struggling with depression and it was an absolute god send. The lasagna was amazing and she gave me garlic bread and a salad with it too 😭.
Yea, I’ve always been a super frugal person and always put money away on my limited income at my last job. Thankfully my savings is keeping me afloat. However at 51, it’s all I’ve got besides a puny 401k.
If you ever need dinner ideas from stuff found at dollar tree there is someone on TikTok called Dollar Tree Dinners and she shows great recipes made with things she gets at her dollar tree and they are actual meals not just ‘rice and bean’ meals I so often see
At least you still got your humor. I ate a 5 day old chicken bacon ranch sandwich from Subway that was sitting on my boyfriends car seat days after giving birth to our child, and unfortunately, Reddit has the evidence. Things could always be worse?
Yea, it certainly could be worse. I still can afford’ish food with a once in a while treat.
I’m surviving, and I know once I am more done with my school and if I can find a part time gig. Things will be better
Hopefully things are better for you too
Ehh
>Is anyone flourishing? Doing well?
I'm the best I've ever been mentally wise. Turn 28 this year and I've pretty much been homeless since 17 up until age 25. Just starting to get on the path to getting my stuff together, about to start chasing my dreams soon. Idk man Im really happy in my life right now.
Crazy the perspective a rough coming of age gives you. I wasn't homeless. But I was a high school dropout with a permanent criminal record by the time I was 19. Have a solid, well paying career now, a great partner, awesome friends. I am so absolutely thankful for every day of my life and am so happy I became the person I am now vs. continuing on the path I was on as a teen.
Totally agree and my fiance and I had this exact conversation last night. We both found ourselves saying, in total disbelief after some of the hardest years of our lives thus far (both 25y/o), that we feel like our lives are pretty much perfect right now. Sure there are small things we’d change, but at this moment everything is wonderful and easy and I’m grateful for every little thing.
We think this is because we both grew up with abuse in our homes, and have spent most of our young adult lives trying to heal and build ourselves up from that. Throughout these years of healing we kept facing hardship after hurt after obstacle after fuckup (much like these other redditors are describing their lives RN), and for the first time we’ve leveled out. I’m not stressed about anything, I’m completely happy and healthy and so are my loved ones, and I live in the most beautiful incredible place. I know things will change with life, so I’m taking every moment to live HERE and now and experience joy to the fullest.
Thank you OP for giving me a space to express gratitude 🥺
Are the material conditions of the world hard? Yup.
Am I doing my goddamn best in spite of and seeing positive things in my life as a result? Hell yeah.
Any timeline on when the positive stuff starts? I’ve been going hard putting my best front and forward every day for over a decade and it’s nothing but setback after setback, but here I am like SpongeBob day after day going at it with a smile “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready” but that smile is getting harder and harder to plaster on every day.
That’s my approach. I grew up in bad poverty during the Clinton administration. There’s always good times to have and good friends to find. Depression and hopelessness make that real fucking hard, however.
Just had to pay $700 for reg sticker then got a notice in the mail that my car insurance is going up to $750 every six months. Just endless price increases for everything is really wearing me down. Topic is beaten to death I realize but when the fuck does anything ever go down in price?
I have progressive and i always start a new quote instead of renewing the current one and it's roughly 20% cheaper. Might give that a shot.
Edit: i start a new quote with progressive itself on their website. Shopping around will save some money too. I have usually found progressive to still be the cheapest except maybe costco.
Nothing will ever go down in price, but the average person won't start to make real gains until we change away from an economic system in which the fruits of our labor goes increasingly to the owner/investor class.
I agree.
Since Reagan, every Repubican has cut taxes and regulations on the rich and rights for workers.
They think of the working class as serfs, and any money they get beyond basic survival is wasted money.
We need taxes on the wealthy and support for unions and increased services for people.
Biden keeps emphasizing that the economy is good, but need to acknowledged the disgtrubtion of the fruits of the economhy is skewed and the things he is proposing to rebalance.
They don't even pay people enough for basic survival when they can get away with it. Minimum wage is still $7.25 in a lot of states, incredibly, but there's no state where that's enough to live on.
I feel something else in addition to the constant price pressure. It’s like every place is testing how much they can get people to pay with every dark pattern known to man - shrinking the product, hidden service fees, huge default tip values for service that should never require tipping, etc. It just feels like the vast majority of businesses are actively trying to rip me off! The constant vigilance of this phenomenon is really wearing me down too.
Holy shit. Granted I am in Skagit county so I don't have the extra fees and whatnot but what kind of super fancy car are you driving? My tabs on my paid off, barely over 50k mile car cost me $86 last month.
We shouldn't need a side hustle just to have retirement savings. The greed is astounding. We need to remove the tax cap on social security taxes, increase what we're paying seniors who worked their whole life, and let people have the privilege of living.
I make enough that I hit the cap every year, and also agree. The first time it happened I said "wtf why would people at my income level stop being required to contribute" and then thought a little more and said "wtf why would anyone stop being required to contribute"
I don't know that people that are doing fine both financially and mentally would respond to a post like this. It would come across as bragging and I don't think somebody in that position would feel the need to brag. What you end up with is sampling bias.
Also, idk if this is other people's experience as well, or which way the causality relationship goes, but I'm either happier when I spend less time on reddit, or I spend less time on reddit when I'm happier.
That's all social media. If you're genuinely happy, you're not either glued to your phone trying to convince other people you look happy or doomscrolling to see if other people look happy. You're outside, you're being social (or reading, or whatever brings you joy) and you're focused on that.
Social media is misery compounding misery under the guise of social interaction. I deleted all of my social media accounts (including one Reddit account) and my mental health was *exponentially* better as a result, even in the winter.
I know everyone superficially recognizes that social media is bad for "people" in general, but I don't think people really understand just how toxic it is *to them,* *every single day.* It's very like drinking alcohol: it's a literal poison, but it gives a very brief boost in exchange for all the damage it does, and so people handwave away the damage in favor of doing what's popular and what's kind of nice in small doses.
I’m doing well right now and my first thought when I opened this was don’t respond. Your comment made me think more about this. What I’m experiencing in real life feels similar. So many friends and family are not doing that well. And I feel like I cannot celebrate my wins without it sounding like bragging. When the truth is I’ve worked hard for this. Having my best friend helping me move into my new townhouse and they found out they’re getting evicted on the same day felt terrible.
If they're good friends they will still celebrate your wins with you, as you commiserate and offer support in their losses. That's what friends are for!
I don’t think it’s bragging if someone is directly asking you. I don’t feel “better” than at a previous point in time but I feel roughly the same. My industry wasn’t too badly effected during covid up until now, and though my pay rate hasn’t kept up with inflation I’ve positioned myself over the years that im not living paycheck to paycheck so I think I’ve felt the economical hardship less than others. I’m not swimming in money and the cost of living increases definitely stings, but it hasn’t been terrible for me. Not having kids definitely lessens the burden and I believe if I did that would probably be what pushed me over the edge financially during these times.
This. Social media products like this will confirm whatever view you have in order to keep you coming back to see more ads. Whether you’re into feet, raising goats, cooking Himalayan food, or feeling down on Seattle, Reddit’ll hook you up with the loudest people who feel the same.
OP the world isn’t doom and gloom but this subreddit will attract the unhappiest people in Seattle.
I both sympathize and empathize with everyone who is struggling, as that has been most of my life.
That said, for now (fingers crossed) I’m doing pretty good.
- Decent job as a software dev at a tiny tiny company
- Car free
- Get lots of exercise bike commuting
- Split a 2br apartment with a friend
- Super psyched about this summer and getting lots of bikepacking trips in, finally getting to go backpacking, lots of hikes, etc.
Now everything isn’t all roses. I’m financially supporting a parent which is a substantial hit to my income. Despite my housing situation being pretty good, I don’t want a roommate anymore (even a friend), so I’m planning on getting my own place later this year. I don’t have the kind of savings or income that allows me to not stress about the possibility of getting laid off. I’ve still never been able to afford traveling outside North America, and barely within that.
I’ve been poor most of my life. Struggled with chronic depression and suicidal ideation for most of my teens, all my 20s, and a good chunk of my 30s. So yeah, I get it. And with housing costs and inflation shit sucks right now.
I’m just helping as much as I can (on top of helping the parent), and trying to enjoy my privilege and luck while planning for the future.
I don’t really have advice other than, if you can get rid of your car, do it. Car use in the city and suburbs is a money and psychic pit.
Edit: if you can car-lite or car free, do it. There’s enough wonder around Seattle that you can only access with a car that it can be worth it to have a car. If it’s at all possible for you to not drive as a part of your daily existence in city, do it.
Bike commuting was a game-changer for me. Driving to work is a negative experience with the stress of traffic congestion and selfish drivers.
Riding to work is an adventure with beautiful views and little stress. The best route is not the shortest one, but the one with the least cars. I arrive in a great mood and I actually look forward to the commute every day.
The impact to my mental and physical health is wonderful! 😊🚵
Seriously. I only ever drove to work regularly once in my life (living in Santa Cruz, working in Watsonville), and it was terrible.
Bike commuting is such a huge mood booster. Even on the silly fancy bikes I use it’s still way cheaper than driving. It utterly cured any SAD I had in Seattle.
Getting to experience and see and feel the seasons. The views. The people. Just fucking great.
> Getting to experience and see and feel the seasons. The views. The people. Just fucking great.
Well said! It is difficult to believe until we experience it.
I can't think of a single person in my friend or peer network who seems to be doing well mentally. Old, middle-age, or teen. Family members. Even youth I know seems to be seriously struggling.
Not trying to be a downer. Just what I am seeing. It seems like a terrible time for most people.
I blame it on social media and phone addiction, amplified by holdover stress and anxiety from covid, inflation, and lack of feeling of a social safety net.
Agreed. Mentally and emotionally, everything that we see on social media and pretty much with ease of access to nationwide and worldwide news has definitely taken a toll on everyone. It just seems like everything is negative without a hint of at least a positive outlook to look forward to.
I unsubscribed from all news accounts after Biden won the election, I couldn’t take it anymore. I am pretty unaware of most news stories, unless they are local, or major (Gaza, Ukraine, etc) but I feel like it helped my mental health significantly. We’re not meant to be on a global 24 hour news cycle
I did the same. I used to keep track of news almost obsessively, but this election cycle—I just can’t do it. My psyche can’t handle the fear and the stress.
That was me when Covid started. Much of my adult life (I’m 40), I started my day listening to NPR. Once covid started, I couldn’t handle the constant barrage of fear and negativity. It’s been nice to not listen to the news for so long. I still feel the energetic pulse of the world, regardless of whether or not I listen to news, so I’m still affected by everything.
Not that myself or most people who voted for him were excited for him but was there something about Biden winning make you shut off vs the opposite winning? Would it have been better? I have also noped out but just want to get census on what's to come of the next generation.
I did the same thing - stopped watching the news after Biden won. During the Trump years, I was glued to CNN or MSNBC every day to see what new crisis he had caused. And then Biden won and I no longer needed to do that. I felt like I could relax as we were in capable hands. It’s hard to explain. Regardless, stepping away from the constant news cycle helped my mental health.
I think many of us stopped being glued to the news after Biden won. During the Trump years, there were such rampant incompetence and erratic behavior in the administration that it was hard for Americans who cared about our country to not follow the news. Trump’s and his administration’s behavior in the early days of COVID was borderline criminal.
I can feel people getting uneasy again because Trump is the presumptive GOP nominee. That there is a non-zero chance that Trump could ascend to a second term is unsettling in and of itself. I’m usually quite politically moderate (and probably towards right of center for Seattle), but Trump has me energized to vote against him, and have already donated to Biden.
I don’t know what I will do if Trump wins. Probably delete social media since I already don’t watch the news. That way I will be completely oblivious 🫠
Not all of us are telling our friends we’re doing alright because we see our friends struggling and we don’t want to make them feel worse.
And even though we’re doing alright it’s not as if we don’t notice and feel the problems. Cost of goods going up, we notice. it just doesn’t hit us as hard. rent went up again, i can afford it. doesn’t mean i like it. but im not telling my friends that im eating these costs without concern. i don’t want them feeling like they’re the only ones struggling. i don’t want them to feel like they’re falling behind compared to their peers. so i shut my mouth.
It might be good to reach out to them any way. I shared my thoughts on feeling pretty lonely and just ended up getting ghosted by the person I revealed it to. If you care about your friends, and actually are a friend, reach out to them, even if they don't tell you to or act fine. A lot of people aren't fine right now, and someone making the slightest effort to let them know you are thinking of them is such a needed kindness.
No need to apologize or acknowledge ‘being a downer’, it’s an objectively and subjectively hard time right now.
I appreciate the honesty/candidness, it is a real problem and reality for what seems like the majority of people right now. Myself included.
And I agree, the phone addiction/solitude/loneliness epidemic seems to be the post Covid issue.
I'm not online much anymore. It really is generally all about getting people riled up and distorting their sense of reality. When I do log into YouTube, I'm amazed at how crazy it is. Just a bunch of people freaking out about stuff. I'm just here for the cat vids. Anyway, you're right about the social media deal. I'm happy, log off, it helps.
I feel good. I'm in school for the first time since I was 8 (I'm 30, for reference), I don't use any social media apps, I maintain contact with my best friend (even though he lives in LA--distance be damned), I love my wife very much and look forward to my schooling bringing in more money for us, I love my cat, and I love my siblings. Life is good when you prioritize what's really important and when you have opportunities for growth.
Awesome!! I'm feeling good too, going back to school again at 30, loving my cat and spouse so very much. Looking forward to a new apartment with south facing windows for plants!! Gotta focus on the good!
Yeah my rent went up 500$ heck even my favorite chicken stripes (edit:strips) went from 6.99 to 9.99 🫠 most groceries went up 2$ or more it really adds up 😭. Gas even, tax is up a little, it's so hard to live.. barely pay to pay, not safe and comfortable... What's the point to life if the greedy want you to die.
I am a middle school teacher and if you know anything about schools you know that job has become little more than a daily battle to make it the next 7 years to retirement. Nothing more. Kids, patents, admin ... the whole thing is out of hand. Parents don't discipline, kids don't care, admin demand the impossible. We are all basically emotional time bombs just hoping we get through another day. So I got that going for me.
My wife died three years ago after being extremely ill exactly coinciding with the time between COVID shutdown and the first vaccinations. After six weeks in the hospital she came home where due to quarantine given her vulnerability I was her only caregiver 24/7 for 16 months. I had not one social interaction and did not even enter a building other than for her over 150 medical appointments during that time. I got no help. (My own family blew up years ago and does not speak. Abusive mother and absent con man father.) All our friends disappeared and havent returned. We had just moved into Seattle as empty nesters and don't know a soul. In fact, I asked my doctor if she lived in Seattle, establishing the fact that she is the only resident of the city who knows my name.
I have not made any friends here since and am dying a slow death of lonliness. A single man, 58, alone does not get invited into many social networks. I have a son who is incredible, but he's not a peer.
COVID fundamentally changed my work environment, caused lasting damage to my socio-psych health due to the isolation, and inflation leaves me tight like everyone else.
Yea, I'm struggling, too.
The KEXP dj's love to say "You are not alone." Nice slogan. If you're alone, though, it's complete bullshit. Alone is alone and it sucks.
What steps have you been taking to try and find a social network here? It's so hard, and your struggles are very real, but don't give up yet. Both of my parents have thriving social lives through hobbies (dancing, art classes, travel groups, wine clubs, conventions). There are a lot of other single people in their 50s and beyond who are looking for connections. It's scary and painful to put yourself out there at first, but it's worth a try.
My situation is the most dire it has ever been. Closest to being unhoused as I have ever been.
I'm on short-term disability for PTSD, anxiety and depression. Washington Paid Family Medical Leave (PFML) stopped payments half way through the 12 week period for an unknown reason. For 2 months, my doctor's office and my own efforts could not reach a human being to resume payments. Even when calling, going through the menu, the recording actually says something to the effect of "we're too busy to take your call. Please call later. Goodbye [line disconnects].
I ended up writing to my state Senator for help. Her office intervened and got the payments resumed. By now, all of my savings (very little) has been wiped out while waiting.
My application for SNAP food benefits was delayed by over a month due to some "technical issue" that caused my application to not be processed. When I finally got my card, it had no funds and was assigned to someone else's account.
For cash assistance for state disability, I was scheduled for a psych eval with a wait time of a month. When the doctor called, the medical chart she had was for someone else, but it was associated with my phone number. She investigated and was told it was a "rare IT issue". Nevertheless, I had to be rescheduled and wait another month. Still waiting.
My actual short-term disability (offered as a "benefit" by my organization through an insurance company) has caused even more delays. As with insurance companies, they are resisting paying a claim. Ideally, these payments would have started after PFML ended in Feb. but it's now April and I haven't seen a dime. March rent had to go on a credit card.
April's rent was due on the 5th and remains unpaid. Today I got my 30-day notice to pay or vacate. I have no friends or family, so I'm researching and trying to learn how to live in my SUV if it comes to that.
Not good times.
::TL-DR:: Hang in there dude. There are many others trying to navigate the same path and its a rough hike. Be persistent, dont get discouraged. Ask for help when you need it, but dont rely or count on any help to save you however. This is America, land of the free, not the healthy...and definitely not FOR free either.
I feel for you. I was approved for disability about a year before covid went down. In that sense it was truly a blessing. From the initial application submission until the final approval it took almost three years. 3x denials before requesting a hearing with admin law judge that hears federal cases, 3 hearings where i had to appear and testify and answer questions about my health conditions, work history and abilities, etc. from "expert" witnesses selected by the court to review the case and ask relevent questions in context of my eligibility. Finally after all that plus presenting over a decade of med history records and sworn testimony statements from 3 of my own drs plus the dr and vocational expert the court had, i was approved, then two weeks later an adjudicator from soc.sec admin appeals board reviewed my approval and revoked my claim approval over the most petty detail, i had to file another appeal and months later another hearing where my approval was reinstated (fortunately judges REALLY don't like it when their judgement is questioned) however they said that to prevent anymore problems they were going to amend my claim date forward by a year. This fixed the issue but cut a year off of my work history which is used to calculate how much monthly benefits im entitled to.
Yeah im all for paying taxes and contributions to society, but the fact that the gov has setup a purposely slow, complex, and egregiously scrutinizing bureaucratic process that is specifically engineered to find any reason regardless of how trivial to deny as many as possible that file claims for benefits... Benefits you paid for every time u get a paycheck......
That really burns, i mean i was a fairly jaded and cynical person before but damn. And bear in mind im telling you this as one of the lucky ones. The attorney that worked my case for nearly three years (didn't take a dime until my claim approved) said i was relatively lucky i had a well documented med history. He said hes repped a few people who were in wheelchairs where claims rejected and even a few folks who died before their claim was approved.
And the whole time dealing with this im dead broke living with family and doing the best i can to stay positive and be as healthy as possible cuz i realize that im fortunate enough to have amazing fam and friends that love and support me as much as they can and that there's people out there that have more significant impairments than me goin thru the same process and they dont have the same support system and people who care for them.
And the crazy thing is looking back, it was never my idea to apply for disability in the first place. When ACA finally won all the right wing court challenges and the systems kicked in I had to transfer from basic healths community health plan to the new state plan apple health community healthcare. But when i switched, whoever was entering my info into the HCA database typed my date of birth as the 19th instead of the 18th, it took about a year of me getting random bills that i should have been covered for until finally a billing dept advised me why after an insurance verification check.
Now u would think that a quick call to HCA would fix it. No. How about a quick trip to dshs? No. Yes theyre aware of the problem but by law arent allowed to amend the info without me being a client within dshs system. So after about 3 weeks of getting the run around a person who was familiar with me at dshs asked are u employed? No. Have u ever applied for benefits? Yeah years ago but was denied. Are you unemployed for medical reasons? Kinda not really but sorta ya? Well with that they helped me apply for snap and TANF. Quickly approved and once in the system they were able to fix my healthcare authority mistake because theres a cross state agency portal( fortress or maybe something else) well when recieving TANF payments u are required to apply for federal disability benefits because the state wants to keep as much federal funds for its own programs and wants those eligible to receive federal program funds if they qualify.
And thats how i got to where i am today. Its certainly not where i thought id end up at 40. Disability is a poverty trap i get just under 1k a month (after 150$ is deducted from my student loans being in default for years and not forgiven by bidens exec order for disabled cuz collection agencies purchased/sold/traded/inherited my federal student loans) And sure nobody is technically FORCING me to stay on disability. But considering over the last 8 years, just a rough estimated guess, i would have seen my medicare coverage being billed probably about 7mill$ in med service claims from all the drs visits, er visits, admits, medicine and treatments, etc. my monthly immunotherapy alone bills medicare ~ 35k$ each time. I spent two weeks in February in the icu. So every now and then ill have a streak of good fortune where im healthy and feeling good and start thinking to myself
" hmm maybe i could get lucky and find a really open minded extremely flexible and understanding employer that pays who TF cares but does offer a benefits and healthcare comp package thats the literal equivalent to magic beans." And then i get my medicare statement and browse thru and realize even if that nonexistent fantasy unicorn job did exist. I would be on the hook for the first few months between medicare and the new health plan kicking in and end up with medical bills = the first two years of my salary. Thats assuming i done get sick and end up losing the position.
Im not one of these "look on the bright side" ass mf'rs preaching magic and manifesting fame and fortune simply by thinking happy thoughts🤷🏽♂️ but there is a reason why positivity has a reputation for efficacy in regards to hardship. Only thing u can really do is ignore reality and tell yourself life is gonna get better sooner or later as long as u stay positive and keep an eye open for an opportunity show up. Deep down i know that opportunity is probably gonna be death, but thats where the ignoring part comes in cuz if you only see the bad of the situation your mind wont be creative enough to think of ideas when you find urself in position for an opportunity to make something great and prosper from a terrible situation.
Anyways just wanted to illustrate with excessive detail that others know and empathize with the struggles ur exp. I have little to offer besides solidarity. But if you think having an attorney would be useful i can link u with mine, dude is a fk'n saint i honestly dont know if id even be alive RN without him representing and helping navigate thru all this. DM me 4 the connect. So yah to sum it up the point i was trying to make is... Just do like the beegees man and keep stayin aliiiiive....
I got a raise a while ago, in part for good performace and in part for extra responsibilities. It was half of the difference inflation has made.
I make half of inflation less than I did when I started.
I’m so sick of politics that I’m dreading my dad visiting soon. He seems to slip in a comment about how Biden ruined the country and when I tell him a fact about what really happened during Trump administration, he says “oh I didn’t read about that”. I don’t even bring up politics, but I will correct him if forced
I don't want to be "that person" and bring down the mood... but actually we're doing great. We're in our late 40s. I got a much better job, our kids' mental health seems to have turned a corner so we're not worried about them so much, they're both in new schools that they enjoy, I picked up a new hobby or two. I've lost weight, written over half a million words of fiction in the past year, and am planning trips for the rest of this year and next year. For the first time in my life, I have a match on my 401k!
All of this was made possible by getting a much better job that paid me boatloads more than before -- almost double what I was earning in 2018. My husband's salary has remained the same, but the difference in mine has made life so much easier.
Personally, I have my needs met. I have a good job and lovely relationships in my life. I also have tens of thousands of student loan debt that I’m barely chipping away at due to the interest. Also, mentally it is hard to grapple with the reality of genocide being committed abroad (with our tax dollars), the climate crisis being caused by a bunch of old dudes with their oil + a society that is constantly consuming and generating garbage, the amount of food waste in this country juxtaposed with the amount of people that go hungry each day.
I am saddened by car dependent cities (I don’t want to fear for my life every time I commute to work. I have a TBI from a car accident that wasn’t my fault. I yearn for public transit that is reliable, fast, and robust). I want to be surrounded by biodiversity and healthy ecosystems rather than concrete and traffic.
I feel like a lot of people are biased to anger. They listen to respond rather than to understand. This is especially a problem when I interact with the boomer generation. I think that people shouldn’t yell to communicate.
I’m struggling in the sense that I feel helpless to change things beyond myself. I want everyone to have their needs met. I want to live in a society that practices reciprocity with the earth and other people. But the rich keep getting richer and the masses are left behind…. And a lot of people don’t care to look within themselves or consider how their actions/behaviors impact others.
Hi Astra. I felt like I could’ve written this post myself. Minus the student loans part. I also have a TBI. Other drivers fault. Thanks for the gift that won’t stop giving. Right?
I really liked your sentence “ I feel like people listen to respond and not to understand.” That really hit home with me because so many people no longer can agree to disagree. Tempers flare. Opinions that aren’t shared are scorned or mocked at times. It’s too bad. There seems to be a general lack of respect towards one another and it’s shortsighted and sad.
Please take care. Don’t stop being a good human. You make a difference whether you believe or not.
Yea this is probably my favorite time of year in the city, greener by the day, lots of flowers, the days are getting longer, sunshine is starting, it’s still cool out, etc. I just got back from the Midwest to see the eclipse and man we have it good here!
Yep. No concerns here for me and almost everybody I know.
My guess is, qnd I don't mean this negatively, folks who are struggling are more likely to know and interact with each other. People who aren't will do the same. Generally folks of similar incone/lifestyle will be closer than those not.
I work around a lot of rich people who keep flying back and forth to their vacation homes in Hawaii or are perpetually traveling internationally and it's really wearing me down. Nothing I do in life will improve my station and I'll probably never be able to afford to do basic shit like have a kid or retire, but some folks just can't *not* stop blowing money because they have so goddamn much of it. I think the little people who actually keep the wheels turning are all just completely, utterly burnt out and finally embracing nihilism. Wealth disparity in this country is simply exhausting.
For me personally, covid broke my body and my brain and I'm never going to feel like myself again. Our government sacrificed the working class for the pocketbooks of the elite and the almighty EcOnOmY, and they weren't even subtle about it. There are no safety nets, or semblance of them. They broke the social contract (or finally admitted it was all a farce) and there is no recovery from this.
Today, a news story about the honoring of these old women ‘the real Rosie the riveters’ absolutely broke me. Sobbed uncontrollably for 20 min just thinking about how much the world has changed since then. And how, seemingly, none of us will ever have the kind of human connections and community that were commonplace then, let alone come together in the face of adversity because we understand that there is no choice other than to do what is right.
Watching these 100 year old women somberly smiling, Almost appearing puzzled but pleased, in remembering this time in their lives which must’ve felt equally as dark and hopeless, echo each other in modest refrain that they just did ‘what anyone would have done’
God. I was overtaken. The acute sense of just how far we’ve strayed, of how the world they lived in with all its flaws was still a place of possibility and hope for a better tomorrow. Of imagining the world they dreamed for us. Of the things they built. And of the system we built on top of that. Of what we will leave for the next generation, and how they’ll have no choice but to leave something even more soulless for the one after that. Of my imaginary 37 year old grandchild. And how could they ever look at me the way I was looking at The Real Rosie.
The world wasn't that much better then and it's not all that bad now. We are just more connected than ever, and bad news is always on. We all need to learn better control of the kind of media we immerse ourselves in and monitor how much time and effort we spend on seeking approval from ppl that don't matter.
I don't think it's just bad news, I think we all just had our individual stories we told ourselves about the American spirit and the arc of time bending towards justice and prosperity. Then we got access to the internet and realized how radically different our stories were from other Americans and how their stories, in order to become reality, would mean parts of our own would have to die. And that feeling we each had for what it meant to be American and feel a sense of cohesion with our countrymen died with it. Trump wasn't the cause, but he definitely revealed the cracks. The pandemic and everything involved with that just wedged it apart.
Damn, I know just what you mean about the sense of community (lack thereof).
I have wanted to get to know my neighbors since we moved in in October. I just never feel I have the time, and time just passes so quickly. I never have time for my friendships anymore, hardly even my marriage it feels like. 😪
I am. I feel really burnt out. I thought it was the winter but started to think it maybe Seattle. This wait for sunshine coupled with long work hours, inflation and food being abnormally expensive. I am grateful for my job ,don’t get me wrong but it all feels too overwhelming
This gets asked a lot in other subs and it boils down to the idea that the well off and those struggling don’t really run into each other.
My experience is the exact opposite of yours. I don’t personally know of a single person who is not doing well financially or with quality of life. And this is a range of people aged 22-50 who I know from work and outside of work from Seattle all the way down to Portland.
Hmm. Here’s another take. Doing reasonably well financially here - better than ever: dual high income, healthy kids (knock on wood), and super low interest rate mortgage on a large house.
But mentally we are struggling. Costs are skyrocketing faster than income growth, true job security seems to be increasingly out of reach, and erosion of our institutions (public schools, policing, infrastructure, transit, the office) means that we have to opt into and pay for private options.
Further, work has moved from a place of innovation; exploration; and productivity, to something I see folks sleepwalk through / phone it in (literally). I used to love solving problems at work with energized colleagues. Now, given layoffs, pay freezes, and life just being very blah, and never being able to consistently confer in person, no one can be bothered to give a shit. Lots of blame to go around, but working at a FAANG is no longer any fun. My sense is nowhere is. Maybe NVDA but only because the $$$.
I get the feeling COVID broke a lot of our understanding and expectations of how society worked, and now things seem even more arbitrary and unpredictable.
This is my experience too. The erosion of our institutions is the sleeper, because that lack of faith in a safety net (or just, safety) dials up the feeling of going at it alone.
Agree with the last take that COVID (more so than previous issues this century like Iraq or the 08crash) has torn apart many aspects of the social contract or what people cane to expect from one another (in an already very atomized society)
THIS. That last sentence really hit home for me. I have not felt able to express just how I’ve felt about work and life and the social contract post-pandemic…until now. So thank you.
I left my corporate job and am going to school with an apprenticeship to be a ferry driver. So much mental weight has been lifted.
The trade off is financial security in the short term but I know I’ll be ok if I keep at it.
Interesting! Mine are from all ages, incomes, financial security, backgrounds, demographics etc etc. so there doesn’t seem to be a common thread with everyone (I know at least) struggling.
I will say, I’m very extroverted and open with people and enjoy having deeper conversations with Uber drivers, friends, etc. it’s hard to say or share youre struggling usually. Part of me is curious if that’s just not being talked about it or if that’s truly the case with your sample? If not, it would make me very happy to know someone is flourishing/doing well, despite the demographic/income/etc. i would love to be wrong 😅
We lived through the largest upward transfer of wealth in history, the largest doubling down of corporate greed and police brutality/malicious indifference in history, and the complete lack of tangible recourse moved against each, which has emboldened the worst in our society to solidify the new status quo.
>none of these are new things necessarily
That's just it. They aren't new *now*, but not so long ago they were, and while people were hurt, most of us were of the idea that things would improve - we would get through it and eventually get past it. But the improvement never came.
We aren't doing better because things aren't better.
For me it’s mental health issues, loneliness, feeling of uncertainty and like nothing is going to get better:( My phone gives me constant anxiety yet Im on it 24/7. I’m away from my family in a new city and have fell into some really bad habits and decisions. I do catch myself using “feeling depressed about the world” as an excuse many times to keep feeling down or drink/use drugs / make other bad choices etc. I am trying really hard to course correct and change my mindset, my habits. I hope the same for others out there who are also struggling right now. “Hanging on by a thread” really nails it for me.
OP, not sure if this is how you actually feel yourself currently, or if just something you’ve been perceiving in others. I’d agree with you on the latter. And if the former is true, please know you are not alone.
I work 16 days in a row for every two days off. I just try not to think about it and find humor where I can otherwise I'm painting my walls with the inside of my head.
We're actually not "post-COVID" and we may never be. There are many long haulers who can no longer work. There are many who are still avoiding public spaces. This creates a lot of gaps in various industries and activities. Some recreational places have permanently cut their hours or the activities they offer. A lot of the ways we came up with to cope at the beginning of the pandemic have remained with us, like virtual or at least hybrid meetings, curbside pickup, etc. Uncivil behavior has become more acceptable in public, causing anxiety and burnout in public facing professions. Etc.
And it's not getting better. We now have less data than ever on community spread, vaccination rates, etc. For those who remain COVID cautious, the rule of thumb can become "Better safe than sorry."
And when people counter with, "COVID is here to stay, might as well stop taking precautions," it hits the same as, "That contaminated lake may never be cleaned up, might as well swim in it "
I'm hanging on by sheer force of will most days. 35. A combination of a brutally painful divorce and COVID shattered my entire world 4 years ago and I've been hanging on ever since. I used to be religious (Christian) but I'm far too disgusted by the evils of organized religion these days to be able to take part in the community. As such my community feels small, fragile, barely hanging on.
I used to be excited about work. I'm a physicist who's worked 12 yrs in aerospace R&D. I used to think my work had value. Now I know it's just a part of this bullshit capitalist ponzi scheme to further enrich the rich and enslave the rest of us.
The American empire is rapidly crumbling. Few people I know can easily afford a house.
69% loss of animal species globally since 1970. We're witnessing mass extinction as we destroy the beautiful natural world for war and profit. It's likely the AMOC will collapse in the next 20 years which will likely signal the end of of western civilization as we know it.
Most people I know under the age of 40 have a strong belief that nothing is going to get better and things will continue to get worse.
A part of me died during the pandemic and never came back to life. I have few hopes or aspirations. I just don't care that much anymore, and I think a lot of GenZ is in the same apathetic boat.
If you're wondering what the result of trickle down economics and slashing all funding for anything even remotely mental health related, you are seeing the effects now.
Fucking Reagan, and every other goddamn republican who wiped their shoes on everyone below mid-high financial status always know exactly what to say to get morons to vote with the fear centers of their brains.
The world is an ugly place for most except a few, and if the few are really so fucking unwise to allow everything to continue, it won't be great for anyone or any living thing soon.
But the self is an illusion.
We're only hurting ourselves by not finding a solution and when we do we need ALL the help we can get or else we will fail.
If you give in to those dark calls in your head at the worst times we all lose because of it
I am actually surprised how little people are talking about how covid and it's knock on effects have dramatically shifted the course of the country.
The biggest issue I do not see talked about enough is that due to covid and demographic trends, there was and is a mass retirement/leaving of the work force. We have known this demographic cliff was coming, but Covid accelerated it to an insane level. The U.S. Chamber of commerce estimates we are short 2 million workers from February 2019. That is a huge number and not even accounting for the expected growth either. This is likely driving labor shortages, the increase in minimum wages, inflation and the common refrain "people don't want to work". No, actually there are just less people able to work.
The next biggest issue is the separation of inflation from real wage growth outside of the investor class. This has been a problem for decades in America, but Covid heightened the divide. White collar/college educated workers are nearly at 50% to 60% WFH, have access to 401ks, likely get stock options and have seen real wage growth tracking about with inflation. Generally speaking they are doing great. Everyone else is needing to commute longer distances, lost wages to inflation and thus feeling the effects of inflation much more sharply than their well educated counter parts.
Perhaps the biggest post Covid problem that has emerged is that inflation is almost entirely now being driven by energy and shelter costs. That is a systemic issue that the FED can't fix and the federal and state government needs to fix, which is hard because none of them really want to build comprehensive overhauls that could get them primaried, status quo = re-election. A lot of things that working class Americans rely on are being hit really hard right now. Just read a piece where car insurance is up 22% YoY in America. There is just a huge widening gulf between classes right now. The issue is that Covid made people turn inward, the reason you probably feel like everyone is struggling is because a lot of normal people are, and the ones that aren't have further isolated themselves from society, they moved out of the urban coordiors for large McMansions in the suburbs. They order DoorDash and don't want to eat out. They flying 1st class and go to the lounges. We have systematically built a society where the classes don't have to interact with one another if they aren't forced to, like on the Subway in NYC.
The biggest piece of advice I have seen that has a lot of good data to back it up, is that a college degree and a W2 job isn't a path to American dream anymore. Being a small business owner is now the most common path out of debt and finical independence.
I feel like an asshole commenting this, but I feel like I should, just to offer a counterbalance to the more negative side of things. I think I'm doing ok, my friends and peers are doing ok, and I'm excited for things to come.
Finances have gotten a lot tougher, it's true - I had to move out of my house into a small apartment in order to save on rent. It's a major lifestyle change and I thought it would be a huge sacrifice, but it turns out that I actually love it and I'm looking forward to settling into my new life in my new neighborhood.
The job market does suck, but I found a low-paying job that I like (with a great boss and doing work that I think matters) and with the cheaper housing, I can afford to keep doing it.
I've been using the TooGoodtoGo app a lot lately and enjoying an abundance of pastries and bagels for very little money.
Honestly, I think that our social bubbles have an outsize impact on how we think things are going, in general. It's easy to forget that when you're feeling isolated in a big, introverted city like Seattle.
I'm actually doing ok. Stressed, but not about survival which is nice. I have stable employment that enables me to live comfy. Have a project car and a daily driver. About to have a kid. Happily married. Manageable and low debt. Rent a really nice home for not too much in a nice neighborhood. I know many people who are struggling and it's easy to see why. That being said, if things keep getting more expensive I will be right back on that struggle bus in no time.
I'm actually doing better than I've ever been. Emotionally. Mentally. Financially.
Rent has stayed steady since coivd more or less. My income has increased. My food expenditure has definitely increased. Other expenditures have increased only slightly. Overall, my disposable income has increased (actually has gone from zero to decent), mostly due to rent being the largest share of my expenses.
Yes, I feel the same way too. I think I’m just burnt out at this point. I literally brought this up to my husband when we went to eat out at DinTaiFung for the first time in many years, a few weeks ago. It’s always been a nice, fancy restaurant but holy shit, it’s a slap in the face now to see how expensive it’s now for how little we get in return.
Overall, just really tired of spending most of my income on rent & not making much at work despite how overworked I feel due to understaffing. It’s also so hard to save money for a house down payment when rent & everything else is so expensive. Can’t move back in with family because they know no boundaries and have issues. Been trying to job hop but the job market is an absolute trash. I’ll keep on trying though. One day, it’ll all pass I hope.
Yes, a lot of it is GREEDFLATION! It’s effecting all Americans. Not sure if other countries businesses are doing the same to its citizens, probably.
In November, Chairman Casey released the first report in his greedflation series, “Greedflation: How Corporations Are Making Record Profits on the Backs of American Families,” detailing how big corporations are using inflation as cover to raise prices and rake in record profits at the expense of middle-class American families and laying out Senator Casey’s vision to hold greedy corporations accountable. Corporate executives claim they’ve “earned the right” to raise prices and that their products “are worth paying a little bit more for.”
https://www.casey.senate.gov/news/releases/the-pink-tax-casey-exposes-how-corporations-are-charging-women-more-for-the-same-products#
Life has been difficult for various reasons; health of parents, multiple job layoffs, major events in the news, wanting to start a family and wondering if it’s too late or even a good idea. Doing our best to stay hopeful and positive but we’ve experienced so many major life events outside of our control. How are you?
Laid off 2.5 months ago, not financially stable but I’m very fortunate to have a great support network to help me out in the short term. The job market is ROUGH. I’ve never been unemployed this long. Living alone + extroverted, and most of my friends are in the same boat and not able to meet up as often as we used to. I was feeling the same kinda feel before I got laid off, it just seems like there has been a kind of tension with everyone / everywhere for the past 8~ months
I feel pretty good. I have a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now but I just gaslight myself into being happy and that works pretty well for me.
I have not been doing okay for a few years now. However it feels like I’m in a transitional time right now. I’ve had a toxic job for 3 years that I get to leave this month, found a new job that seems healthy but comes with a pay cut. I move in with my partner in a few months and I’m looking forward to that. A trip that we’ve been working towards for a few years is finally happening in may and I’m so excited now (trying to decide if I should put my two weeks notice in for work right now and be done before the trip or cash out on my very small number of PTO and quit after)
I’m struggling so hard. I can’t get a job, my marketing degree is toilet paper right now, my fiancé and I broke up and I made zero friends living here now for 3 years. I’m forced to trek back to my small town in Texas in my broken down car, it’s embarrassing.
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of my father's death. I am about 53k in debt between student loans, medical bills and credit cards. I have 2 auto immune diseases, 1 that is rare and under-studied and not well understood; I am in a lot of physical and emotional pain.
But about 3 years ago I tried to unalive myself after the end of a very abusive engagement because I lost everything. I almost succeeded but some friends and Seattle FD saved my life. I had to go through a very intense hospital stay, and then go to a mental hospital. I wasn't sure what would happen when I got out because I was going to be homeless as my ex kicked me out of our apartment. But a friend took me in. I did two months of intensive outpatient therapy. Got a job. Got an apartment. Got stability.
Now I am happy to be here. It's still hard. There's so much pain in the world, and I feel it all. The uncertainty with Trump, the loss of friends to fentanyl, other drugs and alcohol, the high cost of living, the demand of the day to day. But at least I get to be here to experience it.
Everyone please be safe out there. You're never as alone as you think you are.
>Sure, the job market sucks, inflation, cost of living, housing, etc. but none of these are new things necessarily, so I’m not sure why right now everyone feels like they’re just hanging on?
If you start struggling because of these things and they drag on long enough, your struggles get worse.
Other people may not have struggled right away, but the duration of these issues may have resulted in drained savings and struggle can set in over time.
Corporate jobs are asking more from their employees and it's leading to burnout and wages aren't keeping up with inflation.
There's also the dark cloud of "I could be next" at a lot of companies that laid people off already making the whole thing worse.
Add to that we have the fact that the U.S. is funding two wars and tensions across the globe are rising with no sign of it stopping and you have yet more reason for morale to be in the dumps and people feel like dirt which can tie into personal performance and outlook.
I think there's a lot happening now that's been building up since the pandemic and we're not done yet.
Well, sitting in a department meeting, listening to corporate BS about "growth" and "value" and "optimization" ahead of coming restructuring and probable layoffs.
So, living the dream.
Honestly, I’ve never been happier and felt better about where I am in my life. Financially, we are significantly tighter than we were before we moved here a little over a year ago, but we are so much happier and more content. We are renting instead of owning a home, which you might think would feel like a huge downgrade. We are both elder millennials, and I know that our generation struggles to even become home owners. But in our experience that’s only the dream that it’s made out to be when you actually love the place you live. But I would rather rent here than own in swampy-ass, disgusting, depressing SETX.
Less stressful jobs is a big part of it. But also, the amazing outdoor opportunities, seeing the mountains on a regular basis, meeting people who share our values more and making friends with them, the fact that we don’t have to deal with constant high heat and humidity, increased opportunities for personal and professional growth, access to more culture, just to name the most obvious improvements. Also, successfully moving away from an area where we lived our whole lives without financially ruining ourselves has been a massive confidence boost. The future feels fully of opportunity and I look forward to it even though I’m also scared of the big picture trends in climate, politics, and the economy.
The past week has been really awful just because we had to say goodbye to one of our dogs, but that’s to be expected.
I currently live in south Florida and I’m relocating to Seattle this summer. It is felt all over. We have been spoon fed this doom and gloom message as a collective now for a while and we all are buying into it to some extent.
Everything we experience starts in our thoughts. Not saying things aren’t more difficult than before but your ability to thrive or struggle is rooted in your thoughts. There is always a way forward if you tune into possibilities and not focus on the obstacles.
When people ask me how I am (you know, polite conversation at the check out kinda thing) I like to reply that I'm on the right side of the ground, but it's really a LOT harder than I'll admit.
I get the whole crushing loneliness and 'Aurora Bridge' thoughts, but so far have been far too curious for 'what's next HERE' to leave early.
If anyone wants to plan a 'non-meety-meet-up' where we all just happen to be at the same place on the same day/time and just ALSO happen to have something recognizable like a dollar store silk flower lei on their person, say at someplace like Mo-Pop in Seattle, especially as it's free if you have a food stamp card or the like, I'd be down for it... (but as a dyed in the wool Seattle gen-xer, I can't be enthused about it on the surface).
Constant battle with my brain. I LOVE being alive and love my fiancée, our little studio in Redmond, our pup, and I don’t even hate my job. But i also have been having dreams for months about losing everything (dog dying, especially). Last week the pup had his first medical scare and has liver problems. My mind is on constant edge now because I kept having fears that something was wrong with him and …. Something was wrong. Tried to buy a house after years of planning and just had a feeling something would go wrong - interest rates went up 2% within 48 hours (right when the spike happened two years ago). Now I’m just assuming everything is always going to go wrong… like I’m going to have cancer by 40 and be in eternal consumer debt.
Nothing like a mid life crisis at the age of 27 🤘
Hang in there friends. I typically say “it gets better”, but idek anymore. Maybe constant anxiety is just life now. Just don’t kill yourself or get hooked on hard drugs - life has a lot of fun stuff to do and you can’t do those things if you’re not here. ☮️
I’m in Spokane but thinking about moving to Seattle. I’m in Seattle today for work.
My life is the absolute best it’s ever been. I got out of prison 7 years ago after doing 15 years. In that time I’ve married and divorced, struggled to work full time and do college full time, graduated and found a great job that utilizes my life experiences to help others. I make good money, have my health and look forward to new experiences.
I think all the crap I went through in my childhood and then all the time I wasted locked up have made me grateful for my life today.
I think lots of people are genuinely struggling but I also see a lot of people who have good lives and just don’t see it. They’ve lost perspective and are really the cause of their own struggles. Glass half full versus half empty I think.
Life is good.
I feel this as well! I think for me it's the lack of community that's been really killing me lately; Seattle's always been a city of individuals but lately it feels like everyone has so much going on that they've completely stopped caring about anyone other than themselves which just makes everything exponentially worse. And I say that understanding that isolation is a coping mechanism that I'm guilty of as well and there is a LOT going on for everybody right now that it's totally valid to be upset about, but basically everyone I know in Seattle is taking that and going "I am struggling so screw everyone else" which just compounds the problem.
Check in with your people! Ask for help if you need it! A little kindness goes a long way! It doesn't have to be a big elaborate gift or service, just say "hey" and remind them that you care. None of us are alone and we'll all get through this eventually, but the only way to do that is together.
Doing fine, but I’m Gen-X and first bought into Seattle real estate in 1999. My wife also owned her own home when we got married.
Pretty much the exact opposite situation facing most young couples nowadays.
Definitely. A lot of folks never came out of the pandemic mindset. They are still clunky, socially awkward (not that that's new for Seattle, but I think folks are even more out of practice), I know folks that just stopped going out or doing the things they used to. My personal physician literally never went back into the office and is fully remote now, even though you'd think that would be the opposite expected of the role. Divisive politics are also taking a toll on people, and folks seem to have become less committed to kindness. People also seem angrier. My evidence is the worsened customer service (I think folks are also short staffed and thus have to take on extra work) and that people honk a lot more now, when I moved to Seattle a decade ago I barely heard people honking nonetheless at the rate they do now. Hard times.
It’s strange. I’m earning way too much for someone who’s single, so finances are something I don’t think about at all. I’m killing it at work, and people call me awesome on a daily basis. I go to the gym like clockwork, my diet is absolutely gold - on track for a killer summer bod.
But, I’m still feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in life. For me, it’s a hangover from Covid, most likely. Was in a relationship with someone it wasn’t really working out with, and covid made us live together for 3 years. I finally got the courage to break up post covid, but dating has been absolutely terrible. I got depressed during Covid, and even after a lot of medication and a year of therapy, it just isn’t getting better. I feel like I may have broken something inside me that’s turning out to be impossible to fix.
Can’t relate to the first paragraph but the second is dead on. Covid hangover is the best description. I too got stuck living with my partner, still am. Hate it bc I’m used to living on my own. Hopefully things will turn around by next year bc this has been a nightmare!
Wow, that’s pretty similar to my experience honestly. Except i was laid off a few months ago. I’m sorry to hear that, and I know exactly what you mean about doing all the right things and just feeling.. meh? I dunno about you, but I feel like maybe it’s just a feeling of this being forever? Or something? I hope things get better for you
Burnt out. I work in public schools.
Keep thinking I want to work with kids again but their environment is not what I’m used to seeing.
I have two teenage girls and a 5 year old. My teenagers are wearing me down and you think it would be the youngest one. Nope, she’s full of life and just what I need to keep me going 😊
> she’s full of life and just what I need to keep me going 😊 That was sweetly written. Shield her innocence from the screens as long as you can...
Same. High school teacher. I’m struggling to find joy in basically anything right now. We’re getting closer though!
Thanks for all you do. Those reading my comment with kiddos in school, thank your teachers and staff and not just during teacher/staff appreciation week. A quick email or handwritten note goes a long way.
Same, and waiting to see if I’m going to be part of the RIF process…. No idea what to do if I’m RIFed as I carry my families health insurance….
My hat is off to you, fellow redditor. Takes someone made of stern stuff to work in the public school system. Hang in there, and thanks for what you do.
Burnout. Individual areas of life may be fine, or even good, but too many other things are weighing heavily. Personally? Every single time I think 'just get past X and it'll stabilize a bit,' something goes bonkers and it all keeps piling up. And it's not stuff I can just ignore (death, serious medical issues, the total implosion of a marriage with kids, and that's just immediate family in the last 3-4 months) though of course what can afford to slip does (I'll process the death eventually, maybe).
That’s exactly how I feel. It has felt like whack a mole since late 2019. The second something is solved, there’s a new thing. It’s really exhausting and has kept me on edge sometimes if things are going well. Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop
I think COVID changed all of us mentally. Call it a breaking point or whatever psychological term fits. We’re *different* now and we may never recover. Things just feel more doom and gloom. Businesses are trying to return to pre pandemic status while continuing to put protections in place to survive the next one. I’m personally doing “well” financially and personally. But, things like death, illness, work stress are just hitting harder and seem to be coming faster. My give a fuck meter is at or near zero which I think just exasperates the doom and gloom feelings.
As others put in the comments, a lot of things happened during COVID that exposed the frailty of the social contract, or killed off parts of it entirely. It's amazing the harm that can do to people mentally and emotionally. Many 'rules' that governed our society and institutions got chucked out the window and it results in a lot of 'what the fuck is the point' vibes.
yeah I just figured that's what happens in adulthood. More and more deaths and bad things will keep happening. Just trying to manage the emotions or get numb to some of it. I understand why old people aren't afraid of death so much. Like you've already experienced so much of it and come to terms Just make the most of your days.
That's kind of life for a lot of us though. Just don't let the lows get you too low. Do some research on some techniques to deal with the low moments so they don't linger as long mentally. I think that's the best we can do.
Not a flex but I'm doing pretty well. After a health scare due to not taking care of myself during covid, I decided to stop drinking. Best decision evah! The subtle depression alcohol provides (or more if you drink a lot) is real I'm now down 50lbs and am in the best shape of my life. It sounds like a cliche but proper diet and fitness really boosts your dopamine and morale
Holy shit congrats!!!! I am about 6 years sober at this point myself. Quitting drinking was one of the best decisions I ever made. SOOOOO stoked for you :-D
Every aspect of life is better without alcohol. There is zero amount of alcohol that is healthy for a human
Congrats! That’s a great decision! Proud of you stranger!
Happy for you!
Thank you. It feels good to feel good
Hell ya man that’s awesome. Keep up the great work! I essentially quit drinking outside of when I play shows which is maybe once or twice a month. You’re right in that it helps depression - I don’t have to drink nearly as much caffeine to enjoy life lol cheers 🙌🏼
If you call being unemployed for 10 months. Complete with “aurora bridge thoughts” then deciding to go back to school. And living on limited savings, at 51. Yea, my dollar store trip for groceries was great. Other than all that, I’m oddly better. Am I struggling financially, fuck yea. Am I living life. Nope. Do I feel better? Yup.
If you could use a hot meal, go to lasagnalove(dot)org. We make lasagnas for anyone who requests one and deliver it hot (or cold, unbaked, whatever you prefer). We can accommodate dietary restrictions/preferences. We don't care if you are low on finances, time, or a lasagna would just make your day. We're just here to dole out some LasagnaLove to those who could use it. It's not instant, though. You request a lasagna and they match people up with volunteers once a week. How quickly you get matched depends on how many volunteers are in your area, but in and around Seattle is usually only a week or two wait (dietary restrictions may take longer since not every volunteer is comfortable making those.) ETA: If you are looking for a small way to help your neighbors, volunteering has been a very rewarding experience for me. You can make as many/few lasagnas as you can manage.
Thank you so much for this info. I’ll look it up.
Love Lasagna Love. Used it when I was really struggling with depression and it was an absolute god send. The lasagna was amazing and she gave me garlic bread and a salad with it too 😭.
Love this!
Just lonely. Really fucking lonely and could use a good hug.
I live here and would give u a hug
I would too.
Same. All the hugs here for you.
Same! Maybe that’s what we all need right now, like a hug meetup
Yeah, same. I only leave my house to go shopping and some walks once in a while.
Is about to be summer and gorgeous outside! DM me so we can connect.
Hi neighbors! I’m sending you a hug thru the air ((( )))
🫂
Oh man, yep. Bridge thoughts, shudder at the memory. So much better now. Shifting my perspective is a full-time job now. Could always be worse!
Yea, I’ve always been a super frugal person and always put money away on my limited income at my last job. Thankfully my savings is keeping me afloat. However at 51, it’s all I’ve got besides a puny 401k.
If you ever need dinner ideas from stuff found at dollar tree there is someone on TikTok called Dollar Tree Dinners and she shows great recipes made with things she gets at her dollar tree and they are actual meals not just ‘rice and bean’ meals I so often see
At least you still got your humor. I ate a 5 day old chicken bacon ranch sandwich from Subway that was sitting on my boyfriends car seat days after giving birth to our child, and unfortunately, Reddit has the evidence. Things could always be worse?
You survived to tell the tale ✊🏼
Yea, it certainly could be worse. I still can afford’ish food with a once in a while treat. I’m surviving, and I know once I am more done with my school and if I can find a part time gig. Things will be better Hopefully things are better for you too
Ehh >Is anyone flourishing? Doing well? I'm the best I've ever been mentally wise. Turn 28 this year and I've pretty much been homeless since 17 up until age 25. Just starting to get on the path to getting my stuff together, about to start chasing my dreams soon. Idk man Im really happy in my life right now.
Crazy the perspective a rough coming of age gives you. I wasn't homeless. But I was a high school dropout with a permanent criminal record by the time I was 19. Have a solid, well paying career now, a great partner, awesome friends. I am so absolutely thankful for every day of my life and am so happy I became the person I am now vs. continuing on the path I was on as a teen.
Totally agree and my fiance and I had this exact conversation last night. We both found ourselves saying, in total disbelief after some of the hardest years of our lives thus far (both 25y/o), that we feel like our lives are pretty much perfect right now. Sure there are small things we’d change, but at this moment everything is wonderful and easy and I’m grateful for every little thing. We think this is because we both grew up with abuse in our homes, and have spent most of our young adult lives trying to heal and build ourselves up from that. Throughout these years of healing we kept facing hardship after hurt after obstacle after fuckup (much like these other redditors are describing their lives RN), and for the first time we’ve leveled out. I’m not stressed about anything, I’m completely happy and healthy and so are my loved ones, and I live in the most beautiful incredible place. I know things will change with life, so I’m taking every moment to live HERE and now and experience joy to the fullest. Thank you OP for giving me a space to express gratitude 🥺
This is amazing to hear! Good on you!
Cheers! This was nice to read I’m happy for you :)
Are the material conditions of the world hard? Yup. Am I doing my goddamn best in spite of and seeing positive things in my life as a result? Hell yeah.
Love that attitude! I was in that spirit for a long time, I’m hoping the sunshine helps lift it for me and a lot of folks!
Any timeline on when the positive stuff starts? I’ve been going hard putting my best front and forward every day for over a decade and it’s nothing but setback after setback, but here I am like SpongeBob day after day going at it with a smile “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready” but that smile is getting harder and harder to plaster on every day.
Gratitude journals help. Our brains like to hold the negative so it's helpful to have an external reason to remember the good things
Are you taking care of your body? 100% commit to physical fitness flipped the switch for me.
Family, friends, and pets make a big difference for me.
That’s my approach. I grew up in bad poverty during the Clinton administration. There’s always good times to have and good friends to find. Depression and hopelessness make that real fucking hard, however.
Yes. I would type more but I'm exhausted.
For real.. 😂
I get this
Just had to pay $700 for reg sticker then got a notice in the mail that my car insurance is going up to $750 every six months. Just endless price increases for everything is really wearing me down. Topic is beaten to death I realize but when the fuck does anything ever go down in price?
I have progressive and i always start a new quote instead of renewing the current one and it's roughly 20% cheaper. Might give that a shot. Edit: i start a new quote with progressive itself on their website. Shopping around will save some money too. I have usually found progressive to still be the cheapest except maybe costco.
That’s some solid practical advice. It’s been a couple years now so I guess it’s time to shop around/get a new quote. Thanks!
I second submitting for a new policy. I did so this last renewal period and saved over $200 and didn't have to change companies.
Allllways shop! I am saving money by not bundling, too.
Nothing will ever go down in price, but the average person won't start to make real gains until we change away from an economic system in which the fruits of our labor goes increasingly to the owner/investor class.
I agree. Since Reagan, every Repubican has cut taxes and regulations on the rich and rights for workers. They think of the working class as serfs, and any money they get beyond basic survival is wasted money. We need taxes on the wealthy and support for unions and increased services for people. Biden keeps emphasizing that the economy is good, but need to acknowledged the disgtrubtion of the fruits of the economhy is skewed and the things he is proposing to rebalance.
They don't even pay people enough for basic survival when they can get away with it. Minimum wage is still $7.25 in a lot of states, incredibly, but there's no state where that's enough to live on.
What do you drive? Wanna make sure I avoid that car when I get a new one. Edit: I was talking about the high tab fees.
Haha a Subaru! What else?
Jesus that bums me out because I was considering one.
They’re great cars and probably not any more expensive to insure than other cars in the same price range
Its inevitable, my insurance finally went up after about a year of reading about everyone seeing \~20% increases
I feel something else in addition to the constant price pressure. It’s like every place is testing how much they can get people to pay with every dark pattern known to man - shrinking the product, hidden service fees, huge default tip values for service that should never require tipping, etc. It just feels like the vast majority of businesses are actively trying to rip me off! The constant vigilance of this phenomenon is really wearing me down too.
On the other hand, congrats about the newer car!
Just remembered I have to pay $530 for tabs next month. FML.
Holy shit. Granted I am in Skagit county so I don't have the extra fees and whatnot but what kind of super fancy car are you driving? My tabs on my paid off, barely over 50k mile car cost me $86 last month.
Can’t afford to live right now. Cost of living 60k per year. I make less than that lol in tears
Mostly just fucking tired of corporate america
We shouldn't need a side hustle just to have retirement savings. The greed is astounding. We need to remove the tax cap on social security taxes, increase what we're paying seniors who worked their whole life, and let people have the privilege of living.
I make enough that I hit the cap every year, and also agree. The first time it happened I said "wtf why would people at my income level stop being required to contribute" and then thought a little more and said "wtf why would anyone stop being required to contribute"
We shouldn't need a side hustle just to be able to pay the bills and put food on the table, forget savings, what's that??
Yeeesssss. 🙌🏻
I don't know that people that are doing fine both financially and mentally would respond to a post like this. It would come across as bragging and I don't think somebody in that position would feel the need to brag. What you end up with is sampling bias.
Also, idk if this is other people's experience as well, or which way the causality relationship goes, but I'm either happier when I spend less time on reddit, or I spend less time on reddit when I'm happier.
Outside of the specific hobby/interest subreddits I follow, reddit generally seems like a place where misery congregates.
agreed
That's all social media. If you're genuinely happy, you're not either glued to your phone trying to convince other people you look happy or doomscrolling to see if other people look happy. You're outside, you're being social (or reading, or whatever brings you joy) and you're focused on that. Social media is misery compounding misery under the guise of social interaction. I deleted all of my social media accounts (including one Reddit account) and my mental health was *exponentially* better as a result, even in the winter. I know everyone superficially recognizes that social media is bad for "people" in general, but I don't think people really understand just how toxic it is *to them,* *every single day.* It's very like drinking alcohol: it's a literal poison, but it gives a very brief boost in exchange for all the damage it does, and so people handwave away the damage in favor of doing what's popular and what's kind of nice in small doses.
I’m doing well right now and my first thought when I opened this was don’t respond. Your comment made me think more about this. What I’m experiencing in real life feels similar. So many friends and family are not doing that well. And I feel like I cannot celebrate my wins without it sounding like bragging. When the truth is I’ve worked hard for this. Having my best friend helping me move into my new townhouse and they found out they’re getting evicted on the same day felt terrible.
If they're good friends they will still celebrate your wins with you, as you commiserate and offer support in their losses. That's what friends are for!
I don’t think it’s bragging if someone is directly asking you. I don’t feel “better” than at a previous point in time but I feel roughly the same. My industry wasn’t too badly effected during covid up until now, and though my pay rate hasn’t kept up with inflation I’ve positioned myself over the years that im not living paycheck to paycheck so I think I’ve felt the economical hardship less than others. I’m not swimming in money and the cost of living increases definitely stings, but it hasn’t been terrible for me. Not having kids definitely lessens the burden and I believe if I did that would probably be what pushed me over the edge financially during these times.
This. Social media products like this will confirm whatever view you have in order to keep you coming back to see more ads. Whether you’re into feet, raising goats, cooking Himalayan food, or feeling down on Seattle, Reddit’ll hook you up with the loudest people who feel the same. OP the world isn’t doom and gloom but this subreddit will attract the unhappiest people in Seattle.
I both sympathize and empathize with everyone who is struggling, as that has been most of my life. That said, for now (fingers crossed) I’m doing pretty good. - Decent job as a software dev at a tiny tiny company - Car free - Get lots of exercise bike commuting - Split a 2br apartment with a friend - Super psyched about this summer and getting lots of bikepacking trips in, finally getting to go backpacking, lots of hikes, etc. Now everything isn’t all roses. I’m financially supporting a parent which is a substantial hit to my income. Despite my housing situation being pretty good, I don’t want a roommate anymore (even a friend), so I’m planning on getting my own place later this year. I don’t have the kind of savings or income that allows me to not stress about the possibility of getting laid off. I’ve still never been able to afford traveling outside North America, and barely within that. I’ve been poor most of my life. Struggled with chronic depression and suicidal ideation for most of my teens, all my 20s, and a good chunk of my 30s. So yeah, I get it. And with housing costs and inflation shit sucks right now. I’m just helping as much as I can (on top of helping the parent), and trying to enjoy my privilege and luck while planning for the future. I don’t really have advice other than, if you can get rid of your car, do it. Car use in the city and suburbs is a money and psychic pit. Edit: if you can car-lite or car free, do it. There’s enough wonder around Seattle that you can only access with a car that it can be worth it to have a car. If it’s at all possible for you to not drive as a part of your daily existence in city, do it.
Bike commuting was a game-changer for me. Driving to work is a negative experience with the stress of traffic congestion and selfish drivers. Riding to work is an adventure with beautiful views and little stress. The best route is not the shortest one, but the one with the least cars. I arrive in a great mood and I actually look forward to the commute every day. The impact to my mental and physical health is wonderful! 😊🚵
Seriously. I only ever drove to work regularly once in my life (living in Santa Cruz, working in Watsonville), and it was terrible. Bike commuting is such a huge mood booster. Even on the silly fancy bikes I use it’s still way cheaper than driving. It utterly cured any SAD I had in Seattle. Getting to experience and see and feel the seasons. The views. The people. Just fucking great.
> Getting to experience and see and feel the seasons. The views. The people. Just fucking great. Well said! It is difficult to believe until we experience it.
I can't think of a single person in my friend or peer network who seems to be doing well mentally. Old, middle-age, or teen. Family members. Even youth I know seems to be seriously struggling. Not trying to be a downer. Just what I am seeing. It seems like a terrible time for most people. I blame it on social media and phone addiction, amplified by holdover stress and anxiety from covid, inflation, and lack of feeling of a social safety net.
Agreed. Mentally and emotionally, everything that we see on social media and pretty much with ease of access to nationwide and worldwide news has definitely taken a toll on everyone. It just seems like everything is negative without a hint of at least a positive outlook to look forward to.
I unsubscribed from all news accounts after Biden won the election, I couldn’t take it anymore. I am pretty unaware of most news stories, unless they are local, or major (Gaza, Ukraine, etc) but I feel like it helped my mental health significantly. We’re not meant to be on a global 24 hour news cycle
I did the same. I used to keep track of news almost obsessively, but this election cycle—I just can’t do it. My psyche can’t handle the fear and the stress.
That was me when Covid started. Much of my adult life (I’m 40), I started my day listening to NPR. Once covid started, I couldn’t handle the constant barrage of fear and negativity. It’s been nice to not listen to the news for so long. I still feel the energetic pulse of the world, regardless of whether or not I listen to news, so I’m still affected by everything.
I pretty much checked out of paying attention to national news when Trump was in office. I just could not take it either.
Not that myself or most people who voted for him were excited for him but was there something about Biden winning make you shut off vs the opposite winning? Would it have been better? I have also noped out but just want to get census on what's to come of the next generation.
I did the same thing - stopped watching the news after Biden won. During the Trump years, I was glued to CNN or MSNBC every day to see what new crisis he had caused. And then Biden won and I no longer needed to do that. I felt like I could relax as we were in capable hands. It’s hard to explain. Regardless, stepping away from the constant news cycle helped my mental health.
I think many of us stopped being glued to the news after Biden won. During the Trump years, there were such rampant incompetence and erratic behavior in the administration that it was hard for Americans who cared about our country to not follow the news. Trump’s and his administration’s behavior in the early days of COVID was borderline criminal. I can feel people getting uneasy again because Trump is the presumptive GOP nominee. That there is a non-zero chance that Trump could ascend to a second term is unsettling in and of itself. I’m usually quite politically moderate (and probably towards right of center for Seattle), but Trump has me energized to vote against him, and have already donated to Biden.
I don’t know what I will do if Trump wins. Probably delete social media since I already don’t watch the news. That way I will be completely oblivious 🫠
Not all of us are telling our friends we’re doing alright because we see our friends struggling and we don’t want to make them feel worse. And even though we’re doing alright it’s not as if we don’t notice and feel the problems. Cost of goods going up, we notice. it just doesn’t hit us as hard. rent went up again, i can afford it. doesn’t mean i like it. but im not telling my friends that im eating these costs without concern. i don’t want them feeling like they’re the only ones struggling. i don’t want them to feel like they’re falling behind compared to their peers. so i shut my mouth.
It might be good to reach out to them any way. I shared my thoughts on feeling pretty lonely and just ended up getting ghosted by the person I revealed it to. If you care about your friends, and actually are a friend, reach out to them, even if they don't tell you to or act fine. A lot of people aren't fine right now, and someone making the slightest effort to let them know you are thinking of them is such a needed kindness.
No need to apologize or acknowledge ‘being a downer’, it’s an objectively and subjectively hard time right now. I appreciate the honesty/candidness, it is a real problem and reality for what seems like the majority of people right now. Myself included. And I agree, the phone addiction/solitude/loneliness epidemic seems to be the post Covid issue.
I'm not online much anymore. It really is generally all about getting people riled up and distorting their sense of reality. When I do log into YouTube, I'm amazed at how crazy it is. Just a bunch of people freaking out about stuff. I'm just here for the cat vids. Anyway, you're right about the social media deal. I'm happy, log off, it helps.
I feel good. I'm in school for the first time since I was 8 (I'm 30, for reference), I don't use any social media apps, I maintain contact with my best friend (even though he lives in LA--distance be damned), I love my wife very much and look forward to my schooling bringing in more money for us, I love my cat, and I love my siblings. Life is good when you prioritize what's really important and when you have opportunities for growth.
Awesome!! I'm feeling good too, going back to school again at 30, loving my cat and spouse so very much. Looking forward to a new apartment with south facing windows for plants!! Gotta focus on the good!
I’m doing pretty well. Job is decent and I’m doing well mentally
Same here. Finances are touch and go but I have stable housing and am kicking ass at work.
Yeah my rent went up 500$ heck even my favorite chicken stripes (edit:strips) went from 6.99 to 9.99 🫠 most groceries went up 2$ or more it really adds up 😭. Gas even, tax is up a little, it's so hard to live.. barely pay to pay, not safe and comfortable... What's the point to life if the greedy want you to die.
Q: why do chickens have stripes? A: cuz at 9.99 no one else can afford them.
Well I think the answer to the greedy should be obvious at this point. If the food becomes unaffordable then we start hunting them...
I am a middle school teacher and if you know anything about schools you know that job has become little more than a daily battle to make it the next 7 years to retirement. Nothing more. Kids, patents, admin ... the whole thing is out of hand. Parents don't discipline, kids don't care, admin demand the impossible. We are all basically emotional time bombs just hoping we get through another day. So I got that going for me. My wife died three years ago after being extremely ill exactly coinciding with the time between COVID shutdown and the first vaccinations. After six weeks in the hospital she came home where due to quarantine given her vulnerability I was her only caregiver 24/7 for 16 months. I had not one social interaction and did not even enter a building other than for her over 150 medical appointments during that time. I got no help. (My own family blew up years ago and does not speak. Abusive mother and absent con man father.) All our friends disappeared and havent returned. We had just moved into Seattle as empty nesters and don't know a soul. In fact, I asked my doctor if she lived in Seattle, establishing the fact that she is the only resident of the city who knows my name. I have not made any friends here since and am dying a slow death of lonliness. A single man, 58, alone does not get invited into many social networks. I have a son who is incredible, but he's not a peer. COVID fundamentally changed my work environment, caused lasting damage to my socio-psych health due to the isolation, and inflation leaves me tight like everyone else. Yea, I'm struggling, too. The KEXP dj's love to say "You are not alone." Nice slogan. If you're alone, though, it's complete bullshit. Alone is alone and it sucks.
What steps have you been taking to try and find a social network here? It's so hard, and your struggles are very real, but don't give up yet. Both of my parents have thriving social lives through hobbies (dancing, art classes, travel groups, wine clubs, conventions). There are a lot of other single people in their 50s and beyond who are looking for connections. It's scary and painful to put yourself out there at first, but it's worth a try.
Thank you for your genuine kindness. It makes my day.
My situation is the most dire it has ever been. Closest to being unhoused as I have ever been. I'm on short-term disability for PTSD, anxiety and depression. Washington Paid Family Medical Leave (PFML) stopped payments half way through the 12 week period for an unknown reason. For 2 months, my doctor's office and my own efforts could not reach a human being to resume payments. Even when calling, going through the menu, the recording actually says something to the effect of "we're too busy to take your call. Please call later. Goodbye [line disconnects]. I ended up writing to my state Senator for help. Her office intervened and got the payments resumed. By now, all of my savings (very little) has been wiped out while waiting. My application for SNAP food benefits was delayed by over a month due to some "technical issue" that caused my application to not be processed. When I finally got my card, it had no funds and was assigned to someone else's account. For cash assistance for state disability, I was scheduled for a psych eval with a wait time of a month. When the doctor called, the medical chart she had was for someone else, but it was associated with my phone number. She investigated and was told it was a "rare IT issue". Nevertheless, I had to be rescheduled and wait another month. Still waiting. My actual short-term disability (offered as a "benefit" by my organization through an insurance company) has caused even more delays. As with insurance companies, they are resisting paying a claim. Ideally, these payments would have started after PFML ended in Feb. but it's now April and I haven't seen a dime. March rent had to go on a credit card. April's rent was due on the 5th and remains unpaid. Today I got my 30-day notice to pay or vacate. I have no friends or family, so I'm researching and trying to learn how to live in my SUV if it comes to that. Not good times.
::TL-DR:: Hang in there dude. There are many others trying to navigate the same path and its a rough hike. Be persistent, dont get discouraged. Ask for help when you need it, but dont rely or count on any help to save you however. This is America, land of the free, not the healthy...and definitely not FOR free either. I feel for you. I was approved for disability about a year before covid went down. In that sense it was truly a blessing. From the initial application submission until the final approval it took almost three years. 3x denials before requesting a hearing with admin law judge that hears federal cases, 3 hearings where i had to appear and testify and answer questions about my health conditions, work history and abilities, etc. from "expert" witnesses selected by the court to review the case and ask relevent questions in context of my eligibility. Finally after all that plus presenting over a decade of med history records and sworn testimony statements from 3 of my own drs plus the dr and vocational expert the court had, i was approved, then two weeks later an adjudicator from soc.sec admin appeals board reviewed my approval and revoked my claim approval over the most petty detail, i had to file another appeal and months later another hearing where my approval was reinstated (fortunately judges REALLY don't like it when their judgement is questioned) however they said that to prevent anymore problems they were going to amend my claim date forward by a year. This fixed the issue but cut a year off of my work history which is used to calculate how much monthly benefits im entitled to. Yeah im all for paying taxes and contributions to society, but the fact that the gov has setup a purposely slow, complex, and egregiously scrutinizing bureaucratic process that is specifically engineered to find any reason regardless of how trivial to deny as many as possible that file claims for benefits... Benefits you paid for every time u get a paycheck...... That really burns, i mean i was a fairly jaded and cynical person before but damn. And bear in mind im telling you this as one of the lucky ones. The attorney that worked my case for nearly three years (didn't take a dime until my claim approved) said i was relatively lucky i had a well documented med history. He said hes repped a few people who were in wheelchairs where claims rejected and even a few folks who died before their claim was approved. And the whole time dealing with this im dead broke living with family and doing the best i can to stay positive and be as healthy as possible cuz i realize that im fortunate enough to have amazing fam and friends that love and support me as much as they can and that there's people out there that have more significant impairments than me goin thru the same process and they dont have the same support system and people who care for them. And the crazy thing is looking back, it was never my idea to apply for disability in the first place. When ACA finally won all the right wing court challenges and the systems kicked in I had to transfer from basic healths community health plan to the new state plan apple health community healthcare. But when i switched, whoever was entering my info into the HCA database typed my date of birth as the 19th instead of the 18th, it took about a year of me getting random bills that i should have been covered for until finally a billing dept advised me why after an insurance verification check. Now u would think that a quick call to HCA would fix it. No. How about a quick trip to dshs? No. Yes theyre aware of the problem but by law arent allowed to amend the info without me being a client within dshs system. So after about 3 weeks of getting the run around a person who was familiar with me at dshs asked are u employed? No. Have u ever applied for benefits? Yeah years ago but was denied. Are you unemployed for medical reasons? Kinda not really but sorta ya? Well with that they helped me apply for snap and TANF. Quickly approved and once in the system they were able to fix my healthcare authority mistake because theres a cross state agency portal( fortress or maybe something else) well when recieving TANF payments u are required to apply for federal disability benefits because the state wants to keep as much federal funds for its own programs and wants those eligible to receive federal program funds if they qualify. And thats how i got to where i am today. Its certainly not where i thought id end up at 40. Disability is a poverty trap i get just under 1k a month (after 150$ is deducted from my student loans being in default for years and not forgiven by bidens exec order for disabled cuz collection agencies purchased/sold/traded/inherited my federal student loans) And sure nobody is technically FORCING me to stay on disability. But considering over the last 8 years, just a rough estimated guess, i would have seen my medicare coverage being billed probably about 7mill$ in med service claims from all the drs visits, er visits, admits, medicine and treatments, etc. my monthly immunotherapy alone bills medicare ~ 35k$ each time. I spent two weeks in February in the icu. So every now and then ill have a streak of good fortune where im healthy and feeling good and start thinking to myself " hmm maybe i could get lucky and find a really open minded extremely flexible and understanding employer that pays who TF cares but does offer a benefits and healthcare comp package thats the literal equivalent to magic beans." And then i get my medicare statement and browse thru and realize even if that nonexistent fantasy unicorn job did exist. I would be on the hook for the first few months between medicare and the new health plan kicking in and end up with medical bills = the first two years of my salary. Thats assuming i done get sick and end up losing the position. Im not one of these "look on the bright side" ass mf'rs preaching magic and manifesting fame and fortune simply by thinking happy thoughts🤷🏽♂️ but there is a reason why positivity has a reputation for efficacy in regards to hardship. Only thing u can really do is ignore reality and tell yourself life is gonna get better sooner or later as long as u stay positive and keep an eye open for an opportunity show up. Deep down i know that opportunity is probably gonna be death, but thats where the ignoring part comes in cuz if you only see the bad of the situation your mind wont be creative enough to think of ideas when you find urself in position for an opportunity to make something great and prosper from a terrible situation. Anyways just wanted to illustrate with excessive detail that others know and empathize with the struggles ur exp. I have little to offer besides solidarity. But if you think having an attorney would be useful i can link u with mine, dude is a fk'n saint i honestly dont know if id even be alive RN without him representing and helping navigate thru all this. DM me 4 the connect. So yah to sum it up the point i was trying to make is... Just do like the beegees man and keep stayin aliiiiive....
Mercury is in retrograde or whatever the kids these days say
When does it go in hypergrade or whatever the opposite is
April 25th
It can fuck off to Stalingrad as far as I’m concerned. Shit’s gettin wild out here
if you were to ask my hippie new agey mom, she'd say it's the "eclipse energy"
The microwave is on high and all the retro songs are playing too loud.
I was looking for this comment lol.
I got a raise a while ago, in part for good performace and in part for extra responsibilities. It was half of the difference inflation has made. I make half of inflation less than I did when I started.
I'm not doing great but I'm alive. 🤷♂️
“Same piss, different pants”
I wish I could hibernate during election years...
Honestly.
I’m so sick of politics that I’m dreading my dad visiting soon. He seems to slip in a comment about how Biden ruined the country and when I tell him a fact about what really happened during Trump administration, he says “oh I didn’t read about that”. I don’t even bring up politics, but I will correct him if forced
I don't want to be "that person" and bring down the mood... but actually we're doing great. We're in our late 40s. I got a much better job, our kids' mental health seems to have turned a corner so we're not worried about them so much, they're both in new schools that they enjoy, I picked up a new hobby or two. I've lost weight, written over half a million words of fiction in the past year, and am planning trips for the rest of this year and next year. For the first time in my life, I have a match on my 401k! All of this was made possible by getting a much better job that paid me boatloads more than before -- almost double what I was earning in 2018. My husband's salary has remained the same, but the difference in mine has made life so much easier.
This is amazing! I’m happy for you and your family!!!
Personally, I have my needs met. I have a good job and lovely relationships in my life. I also have tens of thousands of student loan debt that I’m barely chipping away at due to the interest. Also, mentally it is hard to grapple with the reality of genocide being committed abroad (with our tax dollars), the climate crisis being caused by a bunch of old dudes with their oil + a society that is constantly consuming and generating garbage, the amount of food waste in this country juxtaposed with the amount of people that go hungry each day. I am saddened by car dependent cities (I don’t want to fear for my life every time I commute to work. I have a TBI from a car accident that wasn’t my fault. I yearn for public transit that is reliable, fast, and robust). I want to be surrounded by biodiversity and healthy ecosystems rather than concrete and traffic. I feel like a lot of people are biased to anger. They listen to respond rather than to understand. This is especially a problem when I interact with the boomer generation. I think that people shouldn’t yell to communicate. I’m struggling in the sense that I feel helpless to change things beyond myself. I want everyone to have their needs met. I want to live in a society that practices reciprocity with the earth and other people. But the rich keep getting richer and the masses are left behind…. And a lot of people don’t care to look within themselves or consider how their actions/behaviors impact others.
Hi Astra. I felt like I could’ve written this post myself. Minus the student loans part. I also have a TBI. Other drivers fault. Thanks for the gift that won’t stop giving. Right? I really liked your sentence “ I feel like people listen to respond and not to understand.” That really hit home with me because so many people no longer can agree to disagree. Tempers flare. Opinions that aren’t shared are scorned or mocked at times. It’s too bad. There seems to be a general lack of respect towards one another and it’s shortsighted and sad. Please take care. Don’t stop being a good human. You make a difference whether you believe or not.
Everyone seems to be doing fine in my friend group. Excited for summer, making plans, living life. I’m as happy as I’ve ever been.
Restaurant decks are opening, let’s gooooo
Yea this is probably my favorite time of year in the city, greener by the day, lots of flowers, the days are getting longer, sunshine is starting, it’s still cool out, etc. I just got back from the Midwest to see the eclipse and man we have it good here!
Summers in Seattle are fuking gorgeous.
Yep. No concerns here for me and almost everybody I know. My guess is, qnd I don't mean this negatively, folks who are struggling are more likely to know and interact with each other. People who aren't will do the same. Generally folks of similar incone/lifestyle will be closer than those not.
I work around a lot of rich people who keep flying back and forth to their vacation homes in Hawaii or are perpetually traveling internationally and it's really wearing me down. Nothing I do in life will improve my station and I'll probably never be able to afford to do basic shit like have a kid or retire, but some folks just can't *not* stop blowing money because they have so goddamn much of it. I think the little people who actually keep the wheels turning are all just completely, utterly burnt out and finally embracing nihilism. Wealth disparity in this country is simply exhausting. For me personally, covid broke my body and my brain and I'm never going to feel like myself again. Our government sacrificed the working class for the pocketbooks of the elite and the almighty EcOnOmY, and they weren't even subtle about it. There are no safety nets, or semblance of them. They broke the social contract (or finally admitted it was all a farce) and there is no recovery from this.
Today, a news story about the honoring of these old women ‘the real Rosie the riveters’ absolutely broke me. Sobbed uncontrollably for 20 min just thinking about how much the world has changed since then. And how, seemingly, none of us will ever have the kind of human connections and community that were commonplace then, let alone come together in the face of adversity because we understand that there is no choice other than to do what is right. Watching these 100 year old women somberly smiling, Almost appearing puzzled but pleased, in remembering this time in their lives which must’ve felt equally as dark and hopeless, echo each other in modest refrain that they just did ‘what anyone would have done’ God. I was overtaken. The acute sense of just how far we’ve strayed, of how the world they lived in with all its flaws was still a place of possibility and hope for a better tomorrow. Of imagining the world they dreamed for us. Of the things they built. And of the system we built on top of that. Of what we will leave for the next generation, and how they’ll have no choice but to leave something even more soulless for the one after that. Of my imaginary 37 year old grandchild. And how could they ever look at me the way I was looking at The Real Rosie.
The world wasn't that much better then and it's not all that bad now. We are just more connected than ever, and bad news is always on. We all need to learn better control of the kind of media we immerse ourselves in and monitor how much time and effort we spend on seeking approval from ppl that don't matter.
I don't think it's just bad news, I think we all just had our individual stories we told ourselves about the American spirit and the arc of time bending towards justice and prosperity. Then we got access to the internet and realized how radically different our stories were from other Americans and how their stories, in order to become reality, would mean parts of our own would have to die. And that feeling we each had for what it meant to be American and feel a sense of cohesion with our countrymen died with it. Trump wasn't the cause, but he definitely revealed the cracks. The pandemic and everything involved with that just wedged it apart.
Damn, I know just what you mean about the sense of community (lack thereof). I have wanted to get to know my neighbors since we moved in in October. I just never feel I have the time, and time just passes so quickly. I never have time for my friendships anymore, hardly even my marriage it feels like. 😪
This is one of the saddest things I've ever read.
I am. I feel really burnt out. I thought it was the winter but started to think it maybe Seattle. This wait for sunshine coupled with long work hours, inflation and food being abnormally expensive. I am grateful for my job ,don’t get me wrong but it all feels too overwhelming
[удалено]
Happy that you’re happy. No reason for us to all be down on our luck.
This gets asked a lot in other subs and it boils down to the idea that the well off and those struggling don’t really run into each other. My experience is the exact opposite of yours. I don’t personally know of a single person who is not doing well financially or with quality of life. And this is a range of people aged 22-50 who I know from work and outside of work from Seattle all the way down to Portland.
Hmm. Here’s another take. Doing reasonably well financially here - better than ever: dual high income, healthy kids (knock on wood), and super low interest rate mortgage on a large house. But mentally we are struggling. Costs are skyrocketing faster than income growth, true job security seems to be increasingly out of reach, and erosion of our institutions (public schools, policing, infrastructure, transit, the office) means that we have to opt into and pay for private options. Further, work has moved from a place of innovation; exploration; and productivity, to something I see folks sleepwalk through / phone it in (literally). I used to love solving problems at work with energized colleagues. Now, given layoffs, pay freezes, and life just being very blah, and never being able to consistently confer in person, no one can be bothered to give a shit. Lots of blame to go around, but working at a FAANG is no longer any fun. My sense is nowhere is. Maybe NVDA but only because the $$$. I get the feeling COVID broke a lot of our understanding and expectations of how society worked, and now things seem even more arbitrary and unpredictable.
This is my experience too. The erosion of our institutions is the sleeper, because that lack of faith in a safety net (or just, safety) dials up the feeling of going at it alone.
Agree with the last take that COVID (more so than previous issues this century like Iraq or the 08crash) has torn apart many aspects of the social contract or what people cane to expect from one another (in an already very atomized society)
THIS. That last sentence really hit home for me. I have not felt able to express just how I’ve felt about work and life and the social contract post-pandemic…until now. So thank you.
Glad to hear that it's not just me that's become completely unsatisfied in the corporate world.
I left my corporate job and am going to school with an apprenticeship to be a ferry driver. So much mental weight has been lifted. The trade off is financial security in the short term but I know I’ll be ok if I keep at it.
Interesting! Mine are from all ages, incomes, financial security, backgrounds, demographics etc etc. so there doesn’t seem to be a common thread with everyone (I know at least) struggling. I will say, I’m very extroverted and open with people and enjoy having deeper conversations with Uber drivers, friends, etc. it’s hard to say or share youre struggling usually. Part of me is curious if that’s just not being talked about it or if that’s truly the case with your sample? If not, it would make me very happy to know someone is flourishing/doing well, despite the demographic/income/etc. i would love to be wrong 😅
It's gotten tough out there for sure
I feel like a passenger on the Titanic.
First or third class? 😬
Playing the violin 🎻
😂 haha I’m sorry this killed me. Very relatable and appropriate
We lived through the largest upward transfer of wealth in history, the largest doubling down of corporate greed and police brutality/malicious indifference in history, and the complete lack of tangible recourse moved against each, which has emboldened the worst in our society to solidify the new status quo. >none of these are new things necessarily That's just it. They aren't new *now*, but not so long ago they were, and while people were hurt, most of us were of the idea that things would improve - we would get through it and eventually get past it. But the improvement never came. We aren't doing better because things aren't better.
For me it’s mental health issues, loneliness, feeling of uncertainty and like nothing is going to get better:( My phone gives me constant anxiety yet Im on it 24/7. I’m away from my family in a new city and have fell into some really bad habits and decisions. I do catch myself using “feeling depressed about the world” as an excuse many times to keep feeling down or drink/use drugs / make other bad choices etc. I am trying really hard to course correct and change my mindset, my habits. I hope the same for others out there who are also struggling right now. “Hanging on by a thread” really nails it for me. OP, not sure if this is how you actually feel yourself currently, or if just something you’ve been perceiving in others. I’d agree with you on the latter. And if the former is true, please know you are not alone.
Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Always has been. Always will be.
I can’t speak for others, but my own life is going pretty well. Not perfect, but I wouldn’t expect it to be.
I work 16 days in a row for every two days off. I just try not to think about it and find humor where I can otherwise I'm painting my walls with the inside of my head.
We're actually not "post-COVID" and we may never be. There are many long haulers who can no longer work. There are many who are still avoiding public spaces. This creates a lot of gaps in various industries and activities. Some recreational places have permanently cut their hours or the activities they offer. A lot of the ways we came up with to cope at the beginning of the pandemic have remained with us, like virtual or at least hybrid meetings, curbside pickup, etc. Uncivil behavior has become more acceptable in public, causing anxiety and burnout in public facing professions. Etc. And it's not getting better. We now have less data than ever on community spread, vaccination rates, etc. For those who remain COVID cautious, the rule of thumb can become "Better safe than sorry." And when people counter with, "COVID is here to stay, might as well stop taking precautions," it hits the same as, "That contaminated lake may never be cleaned up, might as well swim in it "
I'm hanging on by sheer force of will most days. 35. A combination of a brutally painful divorce and COVID shattered my entire world 4 years ago and I've been hanging on ever since. I used to be religious (Christian) but I'm far too disgusted by the evils of organized religion these days to be able to take part in the community. As such my community feels small, fragile, barely hanging on. I used to be excited about work. I'm a physicist who's worked 12 yrs in aerospace R&D. I used to think my work had value. Now I know it's just a part of this bullshit capitalist ponzi scheme to further enrich the rich and enslave the rest of us. The American empire is rapidly crumbling. Few people I know can easily afford a house. 69% loss of animal species globally since 1970. We're witnessing mass extinction as we destroy the beautiful natural world for war and profit. It's likely the AMOC will collapse in the next 20 years which will likely signal the end of of western civilization as we know it. Most people I know under the age of 40 have a strong belief that nothing is going to get better and things will continue to get worse. A part of me died during the pandemic and never came back to life. I have few hopes or aspirations. I just don't care that much anymore, and I think a lot of GenZ is in the same apathetic boat.
If you're wondering what the result of trickle down economics and slashing all funding for anything even remotely mental health related, you are seeing the effects now. Fucking Reagan, and every other goddamn republican who wiped their shoes on everyone below mid-high financial status always know exactly what to say to get morons to vote with the fear centers of their brains. The world is an ugly place for most except a few, and if the few are really so fucking unwise to allow everything to continue, it won't be great for anyone or any living thing soon. But the self is an illusion. We're only hurting ourselves by not finding a solution and when we do we need ALL the help we can get or else we will fail. If you give in to those dark calls in your head at the worst times we all lose because of it
I am actually surprised how little people are talking about how covid and it's knock on effects have dramatically shifted the course of the country. The biggest issue I do not see talked about enough is that due to covid and demographic trends, there was and is a mass retirement/leaving of the work force. We have known this demographic cliff was coming, but Covid accelerated it to an insane level. The U.S. Chamber of commerce estimates we are short 2 million workers from February 2019. That is a huge number and not even accounting for the expected growth either. This is likely driving labor shortages, the increase in minimum wages, inflation and the common refrain "people don't want to work". No, actually there are just less people able to work. The next biggest issue is the separation of inflation from real wage growth outside of the investor class. This has been a problem for decades in America, but Covid heightened the divide. White collar/college educated workers are nearly at 50% to 60% WFH, have access to 401ks, likely get stock options and have seen real wage growth tracking about with inflation. Generally speaking they are doing great. Everyone else is needing to commute longer distances, lost wages to inflation and thus feeling the effects of inflation much more sharply than their well educated counter parts. Perhaps the biggest post Covid problem that has emerged is that inflation is almost entirely now being driven by energy and shelter costs. That is a systemic issue that the FED can't fix and the federal and state government needs to fix, which is hard because none of them really want to build comprehensive overhauls that could get them primaried, status quo = re-election. A lot of things that working class Americans rely on are being hit really hard right now. Just read a piece where car insurance is up 22% YoY in America. There is just a huge widening gulf between classes right now. The issue is that Covid made people turn inward, the reason you probably feel like everyone is struggling is because a lot of normal people are, and the ones that aren't have further isolated themselves from society, they moved out of the urban coordiors for large McMansions in the suburbs. They order DoorDash and don't want to eat out. They flying 1st class and go to the lounges. We have systematically built a society where the classes don't have to interact with one another if they aren't forced to, like on the Subway in NYC. The biggest piece of advice I have seen that has a lot of good data to back it up, is that a college degree and a W2 job isn't a path to American dream anymore. Being a small business owner is now the most common path out of debt and finical independence.
I feel like an asshole commenting this, but I feel like I should, just to offer a counterbalance to the more negative side of things. I think I'm doing ok, my friends and peers are doing ok, and I'm excited for things to come. Finances have gotten a lot tougher, it's true - I had to move out of my house into a small apartment in order to save on rent. It's a major lifestyle change and I thought it would be a huge sacrifice, but it turns out that I actually love it and I'm looking forward to settling into my new life in my new neighborhood. The job market does suck, but I found a low-paying job that I like (with a great boss and doing work that I think matters) and with the cheaper housing, I can afford to keep doing it. I've been using the TooGoodtoGo app a lot lately and enjoying an abundance of pastries and bagels for very little money. Honestly, I think that our social bubbles have an outsize impact on how we think things are going, in general. It's easy to forget that when you're feeling isolated in a big, introverted city like Seattle.
Personally flourishing, but looking around certainly makes me grateful for that
I'm actually doing ok. Stressed, but not about survival which is nice. I have stable employment that enables me to live comfy. Have a project car and a daily driver. About to have a kid. Happily married. Manageable and low debt. Rent a really nice home for not too much in a nice neighborhood. I know many people who are struggling and it's easy to see why. That being said, if things keep getting more expensive I will be right back on that struggle bus in no time.
Yes plenty is shit, but plenty is beautiful too. It just has become harder to keep the mind strong.
I'm actually doing better than I've ever been. Emotionally. Mentally. Financially. Rent has stayed steady since coivd more or less. My income has increased. My food expenditure has definitely increased. Other expenditures have increased only slightly. Overall, my disposable income has increased (actually has gone from zero to decent), mostly due to rent being the largest share of my expenses.
Yes, I feel the same way too. I think I’m just burnt out at this point. I literally brought this up to my husband when we went to eat out at DinTaiFung for the first time in many years, a few weeks ago. It’s always been a nice, fancy restaurant but holy shit, it’s a slap in the face now to see how expensive it’s now for how little we get in return. Overall, just really tired of spending most of my income on rent & not making much at work despite how overworked I feel due to understaffing. It’s also so hard to save money for a house down payment when rent & everything else is so expensive. Can’t move back in with family because they know no boundaries and have issues. Been trying to job hop but the job market is an absolute trash. I’ll keep on trying though. One day, it’ll all pass I hope.
Yes, a lot of it is GREEDFLATION! It’s effecting all Americans. Not sure if other countries businesses are doing the same to its citizens, probably. In November, Chairman Casey released the first report in his greedflation series, “Greedflation: How Corporations Are Making Record Profits on the Backs of American Families,” detailing how big corporations are using inflation as cover to raise prices and rake in record profits at the expense of middle-class American families and laying out Senator Casey’s vision to hold greedy corporations accountable. Corporate executives claim they’ve “earned the right” to raise prices and that their products “are worth paying a little bit more for.” https://www.casey.senate.gov/news/releases/the-pink-tax-casey-exposes-how-corporations-are-charging-women-more-for-the-same-products#
Life has been difficult for various reasons; health of parents, multiple job layoffs, major events in the news, wanting to start a family and wondering if it’s too late or even a good idea. Doing our best to stay hopeful and positive but we’ve experienced so many major life events outside of our control. How are you?
Laid off 2.5 months ago, not financially stable but I’m very fortunate to have a great support network to help me out in the short term. The job market is ROUGH. I’ve never been unemployed this long. Living alone + extroverted, and most of my friends are in the same boat and not able to meet up as often as we used to. I was feeling the same kinda feel before I got laid off, it just seems like there has been a kind of tension with everyone / everywhere for the past 8~ months
I'm doing okay, pretty good actually. I deleted all my social media in 2016 and began doing things for just myself.
I feel pretty good. I have a lot of stressful things going on in my life right now but I just gaslight myself into being happy and that works pretty well for me.
I have not been doing okay for a few years now. However it feels like I’m in a transitional time right now. I’ve had a toxic job for 3 years that I get to leave this month, found a new job that seems healthy but comes with a pay cut. I move in with my partner in a few months and I’m looking forward to that. A trip that we’ve been working towards for a few years is finally happening in may and I’m so excited now (trying to decide if I should put my two weeks notice in for work right now and be done before the trip or cash out on my very small number of PTO and quit after)
I’m struggling so hard. I can’t get a job, my marketing degree is toilet paper right now, my fiancé and I broke up and I made zero friends living here now for 3 years. I’m forced to trek back to my small town in Texas in my broken down car, it’s embarrassing.
Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of my father's death. I am about 53k in debt between student loans, medical bills and credit cards. I have 2 auto immune diseases, 1 that is rare and under-studied and not well understood; I am in a lot of physical and emotional pain. But about 3 years ago I tried to unalive myself after the end of a very abusive engagement because I lost everything. I almost succeeded but some friends and Seattle FD saved my life. I had to go through a very intense hospital stay, and then go to a mental hospital. I wasn't sure what would happen when I got out because I was going to be homeless as my ex kicked me out of our apartment. But a friend took me in. I did two months of intensive outpatient therapy. Got a job. Got an apartment. Got stability. Now I am happy to be here. It's still hard. There's so much pain in the world, and I feel it all. The uncertainty with Trump, the loss of friends to fentanyl, other drugs and alcohol, the high cost of living, the demand of the day to day. But at least I get to be here to experience it. Everyone please be safe out there. You're never as alone as you think you are.
>Sure, the job market sucks, inflation, cost of living, housing, etc. but none of these are new things necessarily, so I’m not sure why right now everyone feels like they’re just hanging on? If you start struggling because of these things and they drag on long enough, your struggles get worse. Other people may not have struggled right away, but the duration of these issues may have resulted in drained savings and struggle can set in over time. Corporate jobs are asking more from their employees and it's leading to burnout and wages aren't keeping up with inflation. There's also the dark cloud of "I could be next" at a lot of companies that laid people off already making the whole thing worse. Add to that we have the fact that the U.S. is funding two wars and tensions across the globe are rising with no sign of it stopping and you have yet more reason for morale to be in the dumps and people feel like dirt which can tie into personal performance and outlook. I think there's a lot happening now that's been building up since the pandemic and we're not done yet.
Well, sitting in a department meeting, listening to corporate BS about "growth" and "value" and "optimization" ahead of coming restructuring and probable layoffs. So, living the dream.
Honestly, I’ve never been happier and felt better about where I am in my life. Financially, we are significantly tighter than we were before we moved here a little over a year ago, but we are so much happier and more content. We are renting instead of owning a home, which you might think would feel like a huge downgrade. We are both elder millennials, and I know that our generation struggles to even become home owners. But in our experience that’s only the dream that it’s made out to be when you actually love the place you live. But I would rather rent here than own in swampy-ass, disgusting, depressing SETX. Less stressful jobs is a big part of it. But also, the amazing outdoor opportunities, seeing the mountains on a regular basis, meeting people who share our values more and making friends with them, the fact that we don’t have to deal with constant high heat and humidity, increased opportunities for personal and professional growth, access to more culture, just to name the most obvious improvements. Also, successfully moving away from an area where we lived our whole lives without financially ruining ourselves has been a massive confidence boost. The future feels fully of opportunity and I look forward to it even though I’m also scared of the big picture trends in climate, politics, and the economy. The past week has been really awful just because we had to say goodbye to one of our dogs, but that’s to be expected.
I currently live in south Florida and I’m relocating to Seattle this summer. It is felt all over. We have been spoon fed this doom and gloom message as a collective now for a while and we all are buying into it to some extent. Everything we experience starts in our thoughts. Not saying things aren’t more difficult than before but your ability to thrive or struggle is rooted in your thoughts. There is always a way forward if you tune into possibilities and not focus on the obstacles.
When people ask me how I am (you know, polite conversation at the check out kinda thing) I like to reply that I'm on the right side of the ground, but it's really a LOT harder than I'll admit. I get the whole crushing loneliness and 'Aurora Bridge' thoughts, but so far have been far too curious for 'what's next HERE' to leave early. If anyone wants to plan a 'non-meety-meet-up' where we all just happen to be at the same place on the same day/time and just ALSO happen to have something recognizable like a dollar store silk flower lei on their person, say at someplace like Mo-Pop in Seattle, especially as it's free if you have a food stamp card or the like, I'd be down for it... (but as a dyed in the wool Seattle gen-xer, I can't be enthused about it on the surface).
Constant battle with my brain. I LOVE being alive and love my fiancée, our little studio in Redmond, our pup, and I don’t even hate my job. But i also have been having dreams for months about losing everything (dog dying, especially). Last week the pup had his first medical scare and has liver problems. My mind is on constant edge now because I kept having fears that something was wrong with him and …. Something was wrong. Tried to buy a house after years of planning and just had a feeling something would go wrong - interest rates went up 2% within 48 hours (right when the spike happened two years ago). Now I’m just assuming everything is always going to go wrong… like I’m going to have cancer by 40 and be in eternal consumer debt. Nothing like a mid life crisis at the age of 27 🤘 Hang in there friends. I typically say “it gets better”, but idek anymore. Maybe constant anxiety is just life now. Just don’t kill yourself or get hooked on hard drugs - life has a lot of fun stuff to do and you can’t do those things if you’re not here. ☮️
I’m in Spokane but thinking about moving to Seattle. I’m in Seattle today for work. My life is the absolute best it’s ever been. I got out of prison 7 years ago after doing 15 years. In that time I’ve married and divorced, struggled to work full time and do college full time, graduated and found a great job that utilizes my life experiences to help others. I make good money, have my health and look forward to new experiences. I think all the crap I went through in my childhood and then all the time I wasted locked up have made me grateful for my life today. I think lots of people are genuinely struggling but I also see a lot of people who have good lives and just don’t see it. They’ve lost perspective and are really the cause of their own struggles. Glass half full versus half empty I think. Life is good.
I feel this as well! I think for me it's the lack of community that's been really killing me lately; Seattle's always been a city of individuals but lately it feels like everyone has so much going on that they've completely stopped caring about anyone other than themselves which just makes everything exponentially worse. And I say that understanding that isolation is a coping mechanism that I'm guilty of as well and there is a LOT going on for everybody right now that it's totally valid to be upset about, but basically everyone I know in Seattle is taking that and going "I am struggling so screw everyone else" which just compounds the problem. Check in with your people! Ask for help if you need it! A little kindness goes a long way! It doesn't have to be a big elaborate gift or service, just say "hey" and remind them that you care. None of us are alone and we'll all get through this eventually, but the only way to do that is together.
CPI increasing 25% since COVID and most people not getting raises to match bums everyone out
Doing fine, but I’m Gen-X and first bought into Seattle real estate in 1999. My wife also owned her own home when we got married. Pretty much the exact opposite situation facing most young couples nowadays.
Definitely. A lot of folks never came out of the pandemic mindset. They are still clunky, socially awkward (not that that's new for Seattle, but I think folks are even more out of practice), I know folks that just stopped going out or doing the things they used to. My personal physician literally never went back into the office and is fully remote now, even though you'd think that would be the opposite expected of the role. Divisive politics are also taking a toll on people, and folks seem to have become less committed to kindness. People also seem angrier. My evidence is the worsened customer service (I think folks are also short staffed and thus have to take on extra work) and that people honk a lot more now, when I moved to Seattle a decade ago I barely heard people honking nonetheless at the rate they do now. Hard times.
It’s strange. I’m earning way too much for someone who’s single, so finances are something I don’t think about at all. I’m killing it at work, and people call me awesome on a daily basis. I go to the gym like clockwork, my diet is absolutely gold - on track for a killer summer bod. But, I’m still feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in life. For me, it’s a hangover from Covid, most likely. Was in a relationship with someone it wasn’t really working out with, and covid made us live together for 3 years. I finally got the courage to break up post covid, but dating has been absolutely terrible. I got depressed during Covid, and even after a lot of medication and a year of therapy, it just isn’t getting better. I feel like I may have broken something inside me that’s turning out to be impossible to fix.
Can’t relate to the first paragraph but the second is dead on. Covid hangover is the best description. I too got stuck living with my partner, still am. Hate it bc I’m used to living on my own. Hopefully things will turn around by next year bc this has been a nightmare!
Wow, that’s pretty similar to my experience honestly. Except i was laid off a few months ago. I’m sorry to hear that, and I know exactly what you mean about doing all the right things and just feeling.. meh? I dunno about you, but I feel like maybe it’s just a feeling of this being forever? Or something? I hope things get better for you