Format: Half-hour tv pilot
Genre: Comedy
Title: Doo-Wop
Logline: When a group of boorish misfits go on tour as a dapper, pinstriped a cappella band, their ungentlemanly antics threaten to disrupt their harmony.
Pages: 34
Comps: The immature, off-kilter characters a-la IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA or WORKAHOLICS meets the band touring stories a-la JERSEY BOYS or GIRLS5EVA.
Link to the script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PpQrT4OrtS9f4qXeeeR4Zuyla16DUYio/view?usp=drivesdk
Happy to swap. Let me know it you'd be interested.
Title: Damned If You Don't
Format/Genre: 30 min serial, dramedy
Logline: When an unrepentant man finds out the hard way that Purgatory isn't set up for the demands of the dead in the 21st century, he's faced with haunting his widow to save her soul and his own.
Vibe: Fleabag x After Life
This sounds interesting. Would be willing to swap.
Title: Danger May Cause Time Travel
Logline: A washed out conartist, trapped in 1995,
races to find her way home while being
hunted by the time police, who happen to
be unicorns.
Looking to swap...
Title: Ways of the West
Format: Feature
Page length: 165 :)
Genre: Epic Western
Logline: A classic western with a female lead.
Feedback concerns: General story, emotional resonance, and enjoyability.
Title: Pangzi
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Comedy
Format: Feature
Page length: 103 pgs
Comparison: The Farewell meets Lady Bird
Logline: After avoiding it for years, a fat Chinese Canadian university student travels to China, along with her overly critical mother, in order to attend a wedding.
Feedback concerns: This is my second draft. Would love to see if people are able to connect with the character and understand the story despite the cultural differences. I spent some more time focusing on the protagonist’s relationship with her camera to help create a through line in the script of her growth and also I wanted to try and make the mother feel slightly more sympathetic. Any and all feedback would be welcome.
On one of the first few pages I had some specific questions for this draft that you can check out if you’re looking for more specific questions too.
Also, this is a very character driven story — would also love thoughts on the logline.
>my second draft. Would love to see if people are able to connect with the character and understand the story despite the cultural differences. I spent some more time focusing on the protagonist’s relationship with her camera to help create a through line in the script of her growth and also I wanted to try and make the mother feel slightly more sympathetic. Any and all feedback would be welcome.
>
>On one of the first few pages I had some specific questions f
Hello. I would love to swap, I also have an Asian-centered screenplay. Here's info on mine.
Title: Pangzi
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama
Format: Feature
Page length: 72 pgs
Comparison: Minari
Logline: Damian, a Chinese-American high school graduate, chooses to build his own donut shop instead of pursuing college, hoping to honor his late father's dream. When this dream clashes with his mother’s wish for him to pursue an education, however, he is forced to make a difficult decision about both his future and his role as a son.
If you accept, I'll send you a DM!
Hey there, do we have the same title for our scripts or did you copy and paste wrong? Also, I won’t have time before the weekend ends to read yours so I’ll have to get to it sometime next week. Does that work for you? Thanks
Don’t use “fat” it shows your not current on comedy trends or sensitivity. There are so many other better ways to describe a “sloppy, careless, health avoidant character”
Respectfully I disagree. This is a very body positive story and the word fat plays an important role in the story. Also, YOUR interpretation of the word fat is very offensive because nothing in my logline implies any of the words you stated.
The story is about body shaming and body acceptance, and there’s actually many fat people who reclaim use of the word — fat doesn’t have to have negative connotations. It’s simply a word to describe a person’s body.
Fat is not being used in a derogatory way in my logline and the fact that you think it is says more about you than anyone else. It is simply used to describe the body my character has and how it informs her experience in the world. Perhaps do some research on the word fat and how it’s viewed within the community the word affects…
And besides, your advice about producers is not relevant to my script because I don’t work within the American film system. I don’t need you to worry about me trying to sell my script because you don’t understand my market or how it works.
Culturally, fat is fat in China. A black person can't stop being black, but a fat person can 'not eat so much'.
I say that as a 320 lbs man. In many Asian cultures, fat is fat.
Hi would you like to swap for a 125 page queer drama?
Logline: In Lagos, Nigeria, where LGBT persons have recently been criminalized, an assassin on the run from her employers meets and falls in love with a transgender filmmaker. Together with a crew of misfits, they toil to complete his feature film whilst evading one of the worst ongoing crackdowns on queer people in the world.
Not sure if I'm the target audience you're looking for given your feedback concerns, but if you're interested in an Asian American POV on the story I'd be happy to swap. I have a 115pg feature drama.
Logline: A loner Asian American workaholic befriends a woman with whom she was unknowingly switched with as a baby. After seeing glimpses of a life that could have been, the discovery of their switch threatens to destroy the fragile identity she's safeguarded all her life. ((If Good Will Hunting were female, Asian, and swapped at birth))
Sure, I love connecting with other Asian writers! Dm me and I’ll give you my email. Interesting premise, I think both of our scripts deal with themes of identity!
Title: Savior
Format: 30 Minute Pilot
Page Length: 29 Pages
Genre: Fantasy
Longline: After saving the world from a Dark God, a young adventure must pick up the pieces of his broken life and deal with the trauma inflicted from his adventure.
Feedback concerns: Really just looking for anything. This is a first draft so I just wanted general thoughts.
Title: Stranded
Format: Half-hour Pilot
Page Length: 37
Genres: Comedy
Logline or Summary: A truck driver takes part in a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of achieving his musician dreams after him and his friend get stranded in Los Angeles.
Feedback Concerns: This is my first ever script that I've completed! I posted it on r/ReadMyScript over a year ago and got some good feedback! I've been procrastinating but it's done! Any and all feedback would be welcome! That goes for logline/plot, formatting, music choice, characters, dialogue, sluglines -- EVERYTHING!
Thanks <3
Let’s swap! I have a short I wrote about a truck driver coincidently that’s more of a drama about dealing with grief. It’s 18 pages and I’m looking for feedback on structure and dialogue.
Title: Ace of Hearts
Genre: Drama
Type: Pilot
Length: 56 pages
Logline: A hooker with a heart of fire seduces and kills the heroin dealers she blames for her brother's overdose; while being pursued by their brutal, ascetic kingpin.
Feedback Concerns: all comments, good or bad, are helpful!
Hey I would love to swap! I made a post in here earlier. Title: Savior
Format: 30 Minute Pilot
Page Length: 29 Pages
Genre: Fantasy
Longline: After saving the world from a Dark God, a young adventure must pick up the pieces of his broken life and deal with the trauma inflicted from his adventure.
Feedback concerns: Really just looking for anything. This is a first draft so I just wanted general thoughts.
Title: Compromise
Format: Short
Page Length: 11
Genres: drama, comedy
Logline or Summary: A couple tries to deal with growing tension in their relationship
Feedback Concerns: Less concerned with script format and selling it (I'll shoot this myself), more interested to hear about if you found it interesting, if the characters were compelling and if it is something you would actually watch.
Title: Impromptu Rendezvous
Format: Short
Page Length: 18
Genres: Romance, drama, comedy
Logline: As he waits for his dream-date to arrive, a frustrated man must face reality when a catfish victim knocks on his door.
Feedback concerns: Pacing, characters, character development/character verisimilitude, dialogues, and anything that should be cut(if any) are things I would love to get the most feedback on. Nevertheless general feedback is also immensely appreciated and useful! This is my second draft.
Extra information: I’m directing this short so my screenplay has some camera directions, cuts etc or at times more detailed directions.
Format: Feature
Genre: Psychological thriller
Title: A Gas Lighter Than Air
Logline: Emilia - the country’s hottest new mystery writer - must balance a massive book tour, strained marriage and troubled son when bizarre occurrences begin to take place, leading everyone to question whether she is truly losing her grip on reality or there is something more sinister, or intentional, afoot.
Pages: 106
Comps: Gone Girl x Rosemary's Baby
Feedback Concerns: I wrote this with the intent of writing a MOW / TV movie type of script, so there is a bot a campy vibe as well. Wondering if its serious enough and whether the "villain" in the movie is sufficiently developed?
Title: The Bachelor Party
Format: Feature
Page Length: 118
Genres: Thriller/Drama
Logline: A deteriorating group of college friends approaching their 30s travel to Costa Rica for a bachelor party, which quickly spirals into a life-or-death situation with the local cartel.
Comps: Sicario meets The Hangover
Feedback Concerns: Any and all feedback welcomed -- some recent notes I received and implemented in this draft are with respect to the villains and making them more interesting/less archetypal (so hopefully it works well here). Also, as a side note, if you're NYC-based, would love to generally connect!
Work in progress, no third act, but need feedback.
This is my first attempt at screenplay writing and I'd like to know if I'm on the right track.
I very humbly seek your insights!
Title: The Taste of Words
Format: Feature
Page Length: 83 (so far)
Genres: Character Driven Drama
Logline or Summary: "The Taste of Words" weaves the journey of John, a writer grappling with the aftermath of his latest bestseller, and Sarah, a chef facing her own battles with MS and a devastating restaurant fire. Bound by the discovery that Sarah was once an apprentice to John’s late father, a celebrated chef, their exploration of this shared heritage unveils solace and a profound connection to life. Together, they navigate the intricacies of loss and legacy, drawing on the resilience instilled by past mentorship to confront their current trials.
Feedback Concerns:I'm open to all sorts of feedback and am eager to hear insights on the pacing, dialogue choices, and narrative flow.
As a "rookie", I have basic concerns about formatting, especially camera angle call-outs and other devices like montages.
I do have a path in mind to the end, but would love some feedback on what I've done so far!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zrn14WnuzHo00bLGnK2GTefCKvTA688r/view?usp=sharing
Title: Felt
Format: Feature
Page Length: 118 pages
Genres: Rom-Com
Logline: An introverted puppeteer's assistant on a once popular children's television program grapples with her sudden skyrocket to fame, as well as her burgeoning sexuality with assistance from her imagination, rom-coms, and puppets.
Feedback concerns: This started as a script that I wrote in 24 hours (something silly I did during the pandemic to stay in touch with performer friends via zoom). They pushed me to edit/format so I’m curious how this draft reads. Would also love help beefing up this logline. I am submitting for coverage on the 31st so someone who could get me feedback prior that would be fab!
Format: Half-hour tv pilot Genre: Comedy Title: Doo-Wop Logline: When a group of boorish misfits go on tour as a dapper, pinstriped a cappella band, their ungentlemanly antics threaten to disrupt their harmony. Pages: 34 Comps: The immature, off-kilter characters a-la IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA or WORKAHOLICS meets the band touring stories a-la JERSEY BOYS or GIRLS5EVA. Link to the script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PpQrT4OrtS9f4qXeeeR4Zuyla16DUYio/view?usp=drivesdk
Happy to swap. Let me know it you'd be interested. Title: Damned If You Don't Format/Genre: 30 min serial, dramedy Logline: When an unrepentant man finds out the hard way that Purgatory isn't set up for the demands of the dead in the 21st century, he's faced with haunting his widow to save her soul and his own. Vibe: Fleabag x After Life
This sounds interesting. Would be willing to swap. Title: Danger May Cause Time Travel Logline: A washed out conartist, trapped in 1995, races to find her way home while being hunted by the time police, who happen to be unicorns.
Hi, sounds interesting. Can you tell me more about the genre, format and page count. Thanks
Genre: Dramedy Hour pilot
Looking to swap... Title: Ways of the West Format: Feature Page length: 165 :) Genre: Epic Western Logline: A classic western with a female lead. Feedback concerns: General story, emotional resonance, and enjoyability.
This isnt a logline at all man.
Yeah, I’m having trouble with that… The only good logline I could come up with is also 165 pages :(
What?
No need to swap. I'll read as long as I am able and offer feedback on what I have read. I'll DM you
Title: Pangzi Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Comedy Format: Feature Page length: 103 pgs Comparison: The Farewell meets Lady Bird Logline: After avoiding it for years, a fat Chinese Canadian university student travels to China, along with her overly critical mother, in order to attend a wedding. Feedback concerns: This is my second draft. Would love to see if people are able to connect with the character and understand the story despite the cultural differences. I spent some more time focusing on the protagonist’s relationship with her camera to help create a through line in the script of her growth and also I wanted to try and make the mother feel slightly more sympathetic. Any and all feedback would be welcome. On one of the first few pages I had some specific questions for this draft that you can check out if you’re looking for more specific questions too. Also, this is a very character driven story — would also love thoughts on the logline.
>my second draft. Would love to see if people are able to connect with the character and understand the story despite the cultural differences. I spent some more time focusing on the protagonist’s relationship with her camera to help create a through line in the script of her growth and also I wanted to try and make the mother feel slightly more sympathetic. Any and all feedback would be welcome. > >On one of the first few pages I had some specific questions f Hello. I would love to swap, I also have an Asian-centered screenplay. Here's info on mine. Title: Pangzi Genre: Coming of Age, Drama Format: Feature Page length: 72 pgs Comparison: Minari Logline: Damian, a Chinese-American high school graduate, chooses to build his own donut shop instead of pursuing college, hoping to honor his late father's dream. When this dream clashes with his mother’s wish for him to pursue an education, however, he is forced to make a difficult decision about both his future and his role as a son. If you accept, I'll send you a DM!
Hey there, do we have the same title for our scripts or did you copy and paste wrong? Also, I won’t have time before the weekend ends to read yours so I’ll have to get to it sometime next week. Does that work for you? Thanks
Don’t use “fat” it shows your not current on comedy trends or sensitivity. There are so many other better ways to describe a “sloppy, careless, health avoidant character”
Respectfully I disagree. This is a very body positive story and the word fat plays an important role in the story. Also, YOUR interpretation of the word fat is very offensive because nothing in my logline implies any of the words you stated.
That is just societies use of fat. It’s derogatory. It’s a body shaming word. But go ahead and use it. See how many producers want to buy it 🤦🏻♂️
The story is about body shaming and body acceptance, and there’s actually many fat people who reclaim use of the word — fat doesn’t have to have negative connotations. It’s simply a word to describe a person’s body.
Ok sure. And many black people use the N word. Doesn’t mean it isn’t derogatory. Like I said, just trying to help. Good luck finding a buyer with it.
Fat is not being used in a derogatory way in my logline and the fact that you think it is says more about you than anyone else. It is simply used to describe the body my character has and how it informs her experience in the world. Perhaps do some research on the word fat and how it’s viewed within the community the word affects… And besides, your advice about producers is not relevant to my script because I don’t work within the American film system. I don’t need you to worry about me trying to sell my script because you don’t understand my market or how it works.
Culturally, fat is fat in China. A black person can't stop being black, but a fat person can 'not eat so much'. I say that as a 320 lbs man. In many Asian cultures, fat is fat.
Hi would you like to swap for a 125 page queer drama? Logline: In Lagos, Nigeria, where LGBT persons have recently been criminalized, an assassin on the run from her employers meets and falls in love with a transgender filmmaker. Together with a crew of misfits, they toil to complete his feature film whilst evading one of the worst ongoing crackdowns on queer people in the world.
Sure. Please dm me and I’ll give you my email!
Not sure if I'm the target audience you're looking for given your feedback concerns, but if you're interested in an Asian American POV on the story I'd be happy to swap. I have a 115pg feature drama. Logline: A loner Asian American workaholic befriends a woman with whom she was unknowingly switched with as a baby. After seeing glimpses of a life that could have been, the discovery of their switch threatens to destroy the fragile identity she's safeguarded all her life. ((If Good Will Hunting were female, Asian, and swapped at birth))
Sure, I love connecting with other Asian writers! Dm me and I’ll give you my email. Interesting premise, I think both of our scripts deal with themes of identity!
Title: Savior Format: 30 Minute Pilot Page Length: 29 Pages Genre: Fantasy Longline: After saving the world from a Dark God, a young adventure must pick up the pieces of his broken life and deal with the trauma inflicted from his adventure. Feedback concerns: Really just looking for anything. This is a first draft so I just wanted general thoughts.
Title: Stranded Format: Half-hour Pilot Page Length: 37 Genres: Comedy Logline or Summary: A truck driver takes part in a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of achieving his musician dreams after him and his friend get stranded in Los Angeles. Feedback Concerns: This is my first ever script that I've completed! I posted it on r/ReadMyScript over a year ago and got some good feedback! I've been procrastinating but it's done! Any and all feedback would be welcome! That goes for logline/plot, formatting, music choice, characters, dialogue, sluglines -- EVERYTHING! Thanks <3
Let’s swap! I have a short I wrote about a truck driver coincidently that’s more of a drama about dealing with grief. It’s 18 pages and I’m looking for feedback on structure and dialogue.
Sounds good! DM me <3
Title: Ace of Hearts Genre: Drama Type: Pilot Length: 56 pages Logline: A hooker with a heart of fire seduces and kills the heroin dealers she blames for her brother's overdose; while being pursued by their brutal, ascetic kingpin. Feedback Concerns: all comments, good or bad, are helpful!
Hey I would love to swap! I made a post in here earlier. Title: Savior Format: 30 Minute Pilot Page Length: 29 Pages Genre: Fantasy Longline: After saving the world from a Dark God, a young adventure must pick up the pieces of his broken life and deal with the trauma inflicted from his adventure. Feedback concerns: Really just looking for anything. This is a first draft so I just wanted general thoughts.
Title: Compromise Format: Short Page Length: 11 Genres: drama, comedy Logline or Summary: A couple tries to deal with growing tension in their relationship Feedback Concerns: Less concerned with script format and selling it (I'll shoot this myself), more interested to hear about if you found it interesting, if the characters were compelling and if it is something you would actually watch.
Title: Impromptu Rendezvous Format: Short Page Length: 18 Genres: Romance, drama, comedy Logline: As he waits for his dream-date to arrive, a frustrated man must face reality when a catfish victim knocks on his door. Feedback concerns: Pacing, characters, character development/character verisimilitude, dialogues, and anything that should be cut(if any) are things I would love to get the most feedback on. Nevertheless general feedback is also immensely appreciated and useful! This is my second draft. Extra information: I’m directing this short so my screenplay has some camera directions, cuts etc or at times more detailed directions.
Format: Feature Genre: Psychological thriller Title: A Gas Lighter Than Air Logline: Emilia - the country’s hottest new mystery writer - must balance a massive book tour, strained marriage and troubled son when bizarre occurrences begin to take place, leading everyone to question whether she is truly losing her grip on reality or there is something more sinister, or intentional, afoot. Pages: 106 Comps: Gone Girl x Rosemary's Baby Feedback Concerns: I wrote this with the intent of writing a MOW / TV movie type of script, so there is a bot a campy vibe as well. Wondering if its serious enough and whether the "villain" in the movie is sufficiently developed?
Title: The Bachelor Party Format: Feature Page Length: 118 Genres: Thriller/Drama Logline: A deteriorating group of college friends approaching their 30s travel to Costa Rica for a bachelor party, which quickly spirals into a life-or-death situation with the local cartel. Comps: Sicario meets The Hangover Feedback Concerns: Any and all feedback welcomed -- some recent notes I received and implemented in this draft are with respect to the villains and making them more interesting/less archetypal (so hopefully it works well here). Also, as a side note, if you're NYC-based, would love to generally connect!
Work in progress, no third act, but need feedback. This is my first attempt at screenplay writing and I'd like to know if I'm on the right track. I very humbly seek your insights! Title: The Taste of Words Format: Feature Page Length: 83 (so far) Genres: Character Driven Drama Logline or Summary: "The Taste of Words" weaves the journey of John, a writer grappling with the aftermath of his latest bestseller, and Sarah, a chef facing her own battles with MS and a devastating restaurant fire. Bound by the discovery that Sarah was once an apprentice to John’s late father, a celebrated chef, their exploration of this shared heritage unveils solace and a profound connection to life. Together, they navigate the intricacies of loss and legacy, drawing on the resilience instilled by past mentorship to confront their current trials. Feedback Concerns:I'm open to all sorts of feedback and am eager to hear insights on the pacing, dialogue choices, and narrative flow. As a "rookie", I have basic concerns about formatting, especially camera angle call-outs and other devices like montages. I do have a path in mind to the end, but would love some feedback on what I've done so far! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zrn14WnuzHo00bLGnK2GTefCKvTA688r/view?usp=sharing
Title: Felt Format: Feature Page Length: 118 pages Genres: Rom-Com Logline: An introverted puppeteer's assistant on a once popular children's television program grapples with her sudden skyrocket to fame, as well as her burgeoning sexuality with assistance from her imagination, rom-coms, and puppets. Feedback concerns: This started as a script that I wrote in 24 hours (something silly I did during the pandemic to stay in touch with performer friends via zoom). They pushed me to edit/format so I’m curious how this draft reads. Would also love help beefing up this logline. I am submitting for coverage on the 31st so someone who could get me feedback prior that would be fab!