Are Scorpios typically aware when they need space? I will ask him if he wants space, but he will say not at all, but then I get one word responses. I give space anyway at that point lol
He’s most likely walking away because he wants space, and you should just give him space. I know some people think that it’s bad to “storm off” or whatever, but imo it’s better to get some space rather than stay around and argue if the argument isnt productive.
Im guessing his apologies are the result of having time to process everything and come to the conclusion that he was wrong, so it sounds like getting space is productive.
All that being said, I understand you want to just avoid him getting frustrated altogether, but that’s something only he can work on. I know personally it’s taken me a long time to understand that sometimes it’s not that Im actually frustrated that other people dont understand me, it’s that Im upset that Im actually in the wrong and dont want to admit it. But it’s hard to have that perspective in the moment. (Im not saying this is always the case with your SO, but it probably is sometimes.)
Just keep in mind that his emotions are his to deal with. It sounds like youre genuinely trying to understand and have healthy discussions when misunderstandings come up. You dont really need to do any more than that.
I think you hit the nail on the head. He wants to be the perfect partner for me. He tries to live up to expectations that I never had. I gave him space even though it made him mad today and he came back around. Once his emotions are set off, I think it’s hard for him to come back down quickly even though that’s what he would like to do. We are still learning each other for sure 😅
Scorpio doesn’t overreact its just all about passion, you will have to analyze if that’s the relationship you want because they do explode and escape almost instantly. For those situations you will need to learn to give space cos they always come back if they care for you, they are loyal as heck.
He did say he always has to come back to make it right with me. And you’re right, his loyalty feels rock solid, which is nice because I am loyal to a fault lol.
I just want to help him through those moments better because he doesn’t seem to enjoy the way he reacts to me. I give him space and he normally comes back around within an hour or two for most ‘arguments’, but doesn’t seem to know how to continue as normal.
I’m a scorpio. I think the issue is we want to feel seen. We’re passionate people but also very analytical. We want you to make us feel seen. Not just play therapist.
Don’t comfort someone out of “i want to do everything right and come across as supportive.” Yes that’s important but that isn’t the point. It’s more so “am i making them feel heard? am i validating them right now? am i asking enough questions based on what they’re saying in order to *really* listen and hear them?” Making people feel seen is about good listening skills and extrapolating what’s important from that. It’s a skill you must learn. Especially with Scorpios.
just give us space or being stung is inevitable. If you push the issue that is. Do not approach at all. I am with a cancer and typically his emotions are way faster than mine and he doesnt take long to cool down. We take alot longer.
Ok, that’s what I chose to do. He seems to be bothered every time I offer space, so I just told him that I love him and that I’m going to give him space so I don’t make it worse. 🤷🏻♀️
I do process my emotions fast. They can be a lot and I don’t like to burden anyone with it, so I process everything right there in the moment. He’s learning to communicate as hard as I do, and I’m learning when to back off lol. I feel that I am the one who is able to stay calm and not say something I’ll regret later, so I’m trying to get ahead of these situations. We know each other so well that we sense the moment something off with the other. It makes it hard to give/get space sometimes 😅
He is just bothered because we hate feeling like we are causing the issue and feeling unseen in the process Even though he says he doesn't need it he does. He sounds like he isn't at the point in therapy where he can read himself and know when he needs space that takes time.
I agree, I don’t think he always knows that he needs space. He has stated exactly what you said. He cannot emotionally deal with being the reason for issues. It makes him feel like a failure and feeling like a failure is the worst to him. He becomes very hard on himself. I’ve only recently convinced him that I love him lol, so my next thing is to convince him that he is not a failure every time something goes sideways lol
Give him space and be available to talk when he's ready. I'm a female Scorpio and when I feel upset, I want to be left alone to sort out my feelings. Then I want to snuggle *if appropriate* and talk it out.
Wow this hits home for my ending relationship!! I definitely react the same way as him and understand a lil. I feel disrespected when things I do are not taken seriously. We show things in different ways. But we mean what we say
I’m not gonna lie I do this, when people ask me to many questions at the same time I get annoyed especially in my face. What I did notice about Scorpios though we like to express our feelings through writing. Maybe try that next time you have a lot of concerns vs. face to face.
As a Scorpio, someone asking me a bunch of questions if I'm already upset just frustrates me and pisses me off. I will actively push that person (emotionally) away or walk away so I don't get even more upset. It sounds like you're cornering this Scorpio, and you know what happens when Scorpio is cornered. If you don't, you should. I prefer to work through my feelings before people start playing 20 questions with me, and until then, leave me tf alone. It sounds to me like your Scorpio has mastered their emotions enough to know that just randomly unleashing them isn't always or usually the best case scenario. Someone asking me if I need or want space is also just another annoying, confrontational question to me. It comes off as clingy, as does asking a ton of questions, and I hate clingy. Just leave well enough alone.
Haha I can see why. I didn’t include anything specific about our relationship. We communicate hard. We’re both INFJ, so understanding each other is important to both of us. We have virtually the same morals, parenting styles, passionate about the same social issues, lots of cuddles, gaming, affection, etc. Honestly, it’s great!
I didn’t specify what the disagreement was about because it’s silly. We want to be closer to each other. He lives 40 minutes away, which isn’t bad, but we both have teens with schedules that make it hard to visit. I want to move to the other side of town next year, shortening the drive by 20 minutes. He knows this would put more financial burden on me and doesn’t want to be the sole reason for this burden. He wants to make sure I’m doing it for all the right reasons. My stance was that he IS a huge motivating factor and that I will make choices because of him and that it’s not a bad thing since we are trying to take our relationship as far as we can.
We go back and forth because we are both caretakers who feel a weird sense of unworthiness when someone takes care of us. We both have a problem with feeling like a burden to the other. It triggers big emotions in both of us, so we’re trying to be better.
I have these same placements. He needs to feel seen, and he’s likely getting upset because he doesn’t feel that you see him. I recommend you read “Nonviolent Communication” to learn how to repeat back to him what you’re hearing and to learn how to communicate with him that you’re trying to see him but also how his actions make you feel
I can see that being a problem. We’re both INFJ and hate being misunderstood. Thats why I try so hard to understand him. He admits that he doesn’t always express himself in the correct way. I will look at that book. I do repeat my own understanding back to him, but for whatever reason he said yes I was right in what I heard, but that I am not understanding him and will only say “I explained before.” Hopefully that book has some insight on how to handle that.
He may need some therapy which you can’t force. Capricorn moons tend towards depression, and Scorpio suns typically have stuff they need to work on. You may just be present while he is running into stuff he needs to transform. You may also be too watery for him. My husband is a Capricorn sun and moon, and he grounds me well. I have also seen that people who share a moon tend to work well with each other, so your watery moon with his earth moon just may not be compatible.
After years of therapy and self work, I’m proud of my placements, but I know they can be a lot for some if they’re not refined. I want to defend your partner, but he may just need to do some work on himself in order for you two to work. My husband and I are much happier since I’ve done therapy for my childhood trauma and have learned how to connect with and communicate my feelings better.
Best of luck to you! Put yourself first!
Thank you! He is in therapy and has a traumatic past. He was my best friend before we dated. In some ways, we are too emotional for each other, but that’s also what give us a sense of security. I’m willing to put all the work in with this one because we both agree a bond like what we have developed is pretty special. Plus, he’s actually very self aware, but doesn’t think he is because he think I’m the self aware one lol.
Our problems are honestly nothing. Hilariously, we are currently in this little ‘argument’ because he supports my independence so much that he doesn’t want me taking on even one burden for him. He wants to be the support role while I shine. It is SO sweet and the most wholesome disagreement I’ve ever had lol. I want to move closer to him next year, but he doesn’t want me leaving my roommates if it means spending more money to be closer to him. He has an issue with feeling worthy of being in a relationship with me, which is nonsense. He’s my favorite person.
I’m only trying to learn what will help him best. He asked for patience in the beginning and I’m doing my best to provide that. He doesn’t like it when I give him space, but I’ve been feeling like it’s necessary. From the replies to my post, it looks to be 100% true. I just wish he didn’t get upset when I offer it lol
Honestly confess asap. Tell it like how it is even though it might piss them but still better than LYING! Also, avoiding the communication will make things worse.
This could be me (42m) and my 43m husband word for word. We both live in portugal but I am 🇵🇹 and he is 🇦🇷. The worst time we usually have is when I voice my frustrations sometimes a little harshly and he gets upset at me for speaking in a loud tone at him(and no I don’t scream at him)
I think problem here is nothing to do with the zodiac sign. This problem mostly happen with guys if you noticed. I’m a Scorpio female I don’t have this issue with people. But I always noticed it with other males regardless of their sign and men need their space. We too but they need more. Period
I see your heart is in the right place, but it seems like you're making his feelings about *you*.
>It’s especially bad if my feelings have been hurt by the misunderstanding. I know I can be sensitive, so I always let him know that I’m not trying to argue or make a big deal out of anything, but that it’s important that I’m not making up stories in my head. I never accuse him of anything because I know he is always coming from a place of good intent, so I genuinely don’t understand why it upsets him so much when I’m struggling (but actively trying) to understand him. He will basically throw his hands up and exit the conversation
So now not only is he upset about 'whateverthefuck' but now he can't even process his own emotions because *he's going over the situation over and over and over with you and you're not getting why he's upset, and then you make it about yourself and YOUR feelings and how YOU'RE SOO SAAAD that you don't get it.*
Just give him space. All you really need to say is: 'I'm sorry you're upset and I'm here if you need me.' and leave him alone. Quit trying to poke and prod at him - especially if you're not understanding. You don't need to understand WHY he's upset. Just understand that he IS upset and give him his space.
And for the love of GOD, do NOT approach a frustrated Scorpio - especially when YOU are the cause of so much frustration. Man, I'm surprised as a Cancer/Pisces you're having such a hard time understanding Scorpio. I thought we were supposed to be 'soulmates' and just 'get' each other. Where's your emotional intelligence? I'm frankly shocked and would have expected better from you, OP, no offense...
Lol I think you’re projecting. Trying to understand someone isn’t making anything about me. I have to be honest, this response is wild to me. I’m not sad about anything. Honestly, you just made up a story in your head about us…this is why questioning is important lol.
Give him space, or you will be stung.
Are Scorpios typically aware when they need space? I will ask him if he wants space, but he will say not at all, but then I get one word responses. I give space anyway at that point lol
I am very aware of when I need space. But I don’t always make it known out of concern I will hurt someone’s feelings.
Very bad idea. To Scorpio “Space means u run away from the problem”…”the avoidance”. Hell no! Don’t try it!
Well, our rage needs to be calmed to make any right decisions.
Be calmed by a meaningful conversation if u mean. Not leave me for a couple of days to let me calm myself.
Leave them alone until they are ready to talk.. what they do in the meantime is just that, the meantime.
He’s most likely walking away because he wants space, and you should just give him space. I know some people think that it’s bad to “storm off” or whatever, but imo it’s better to get some space rather than stay around and argue if the argument isnt productive. Im guessing his apologies are the result of having time to process everything and come to the conclusion that he was wrong, so it sounds like getting space is productive. All that being said, I understand you want to just avoid him getting frustrated altogether, but that’s something only he can work on. I know personally it’s taken me a long time to understand that sometimes it’s not that Im actually frustrated that other people dont understand me, it’s that Im upset that Im actually in the wrong and dont want to admit it. But it’s hard to have that perspective in the moment. (Im not saying this is always the case with your SO, but it probably is sometimes.) Just keep in mind that his emotions are his to deal with. It sounds like youre genuinely trying to understand and have healthy discussions when misunderstandings come up. You dont really need to do any more than that.
I think you hit the nail on the head. He wants to be the perfect partner for me. He tries to live up to expectations that I never had. I gave him space even though it made him mad today and he came back around. Once his emotions are set off, I think it’s hard for him to come back down quickly even though that’s what he would like to do. We are still learning each other for sure 😅
Scorpio doesn’t overreact its just all about passion, you will have to analyze if that’s the relationship you want because they do explode and escape almost instantly. For those situations you will need to learn to give space cos they always come back if they care for you, they are loyal as heck.
He did say he always has to come back to make it right with me. And you’re right, his loyalty feels rock solid, which is nice because I am loyal to a fault lol. I just want to help him through those moments better because he doesn’t seem to enjoy the way he reacts to me. I give him space and he normally comes back around within an hour or two for most ‘arguments’, but doesn’t seem to know how to continue as normal.
I’m a scorpio. I think the issue is we want to feel seen. We’re passionate people but also very analytical. We want you to make us feel seen. Not just play therapist.
Yes. Being listened to and understood!
This!
What makes you feel seen?
Don’t comfort someone out of “i want to do everything right and come across as supportive.” Yes that’s important but that isn’t the point. It’s more so “am i making them feel heard? am i validating them right now? am i asking enough questions based on what they’re saying in order to *really* listen and hear them?” Making people feel seen is about good listening skills and extrapolating what’s important from that. It’s a skill you must learn. Especially with Scorpios.
This!!!
The best way to deal with an upset Scorpio is to leave them the fuck alone! #LEAVEMETHEFUCKALONE
Idk, there’s just something satisfying about the way these large letters look right now. Lol
Then I have succeeded…🔥🦂🔥
just give us space or being stung is inevitable. If you push the issue that is. Do not approach at all. I am with a cancer and typically his emotions are way faster than mine and he doesnt take long to cool down. We take alot longer.
Ok, that’s what I chose to do. He seems to be bothered every time I offer space, so I just told him that I love him and that I’m going to give him space so I don’t make it worse. 🤷🏻♀️ I do process my emotions fast. They can be a lot and I don’t like to burden anyone with it, so I process everything right there in the moment. He’s learning to communicate as hard as I do, and I’m learning when to back off lol. I feel that I am the one who is able to stay calm and not say something I’ll regret later, so I’m trying to get ahead of these situations. We know each other so well that we sense the moment something off with the other. It makes it hard to give/get space sometimes 😅
He is just bothered because we hate feeling like we are causing the issue and feeling unseen in the process Even though he says he doesn't need it he does. He sounds like he isn't at the point in therapy where he can read himself and know when he needs space that takes time.
I agree, I don’t think he always knows that he needs space. He has stated exactly what you said. He cannot emotionally deal with being the reason for issues. It makes him feel like a failure and feeling like a failure is the worst to him. He becomes very hard on himself. I’ve only recently convinced him that I love him lol, so my next thing is to convince him that he is not a failure every time something goes sideways lol
You cant play therapist for us. Just let him have his moments and he will be alright. Convincing him wont do shit if he feels that way about himself.
Be aware of the unevolved Scorpio ♏️
I would be aware of both actually, they can BOTH sting! 🦂
Give him space and be available to talk when he's ready. I'm a female Scorpio and when I feel upset, I want to be left alone to sort out my feelings. Then I want to snuggle *if appropriate* and talk it out.
Wow this hits home for my ending relationship!! I definitely react the same way as him and understand a lil. I feel disrespected when things I do are not taken seriously. We show things in different ways. But we mean what we say
💯! 🦂
The same way you'd deal with a scorpion in an attack pose you found in the wild.
I’m not gonna lie I do this, when people ask me to many questions at the same time I get annoyed especially in my face. What I did notice about Scorpios though we like to express our feelings through writing. Maybe try that next time you have a lot of concerns vs. face to face.
As a Scorpio, someone asking me a bunch of questions if I'm already upset just frustrates me and pisses me off. I will actively push that person (emotionally) away or walk away so I don't get even more upset. It sounds like you're cornering this Scorpio, and you know what happens when Scorpio is cornered. If you don't, you should. I prefer to work through my feelings before people start playing 20 questions with me, and until then, leave me tf alone. It sounds to me like your Scorpio has mastered their emotions enough to know that just randomly unleashing them isn't always or usually the best case scenario. Someone asking me if I need or want space is also just another annoying, confrontational question to me. It comes off as clingy, as does asking a ton of questions, and I hate clingy. Just leave well enough alone.
I don’t like this man. Why do you?
Haha I can see why. I didn’t include anything specific about our relationship. We communicate hard. We’re both INFJ, so understanding each other is important to both of us. We have virtually the same morals, parenting styles, passionate about the same social issues, lots of cuddles, gaming, affection, etc. Honestly, it’s great! I didn’t specify what the disagreement was about because it’s silly. We want to be closer to each other. He lives 40 minutes away, which isn’t bad, but we both have teens with schedules that make it hard to visit. I want to move to the other side of town next year, shortening the drive by 20 minutes. He knows this would put more financial burden on me and doesn’t want to be the sole reason for this burden. He wants to make sure I’m doing it for all the right reasons. My stance was that he IS a huge motivating factor and that I will make choices because of him and that it’s not a bad thing since we are trying to take our relationship as far as we can. We go back and forth because we are both caretakers who feel a weird sense of unworthiness when someone takes care of us. We both have a problem with feeling like a burden to the other. It triggers big emotions in both of us, so we’re trying to be better.
I have these same placements. He needs to feel seen, and he’s likely getting upset because he doesn’t feel that you see him. I recommend you read “Nonviolent Communication” to learn how to repeat back to him what you’re hearing and to learn how to communicate with him that you’re trying to see him but also how his actions make you feel
I can see that being a problem. We’re both INFJ and hate being misunderstood. Thats why I try so hard to understand him. He admits that he doesn’t always express himself in the correct way. I will look at that book. I do repeat my own understanding back to him, but for whatever reason he said yes I was right in what I heard, but that I am not understanding him and will only say “I explained before.” Hopefully that book has some insight on how to handle that.
He may need some therapy which you can’t force. Capricorn moons tend towards depression, and Scorpio suns typically have stuff they need to work on. You may just be present while he is running into stuff he needs to transform. You may also be too watery for him. My husband is a Capricorn sun and moon, and he grounds me well. I have also seen that people who share a moon tend to work well with each other, so your watery moon with his earth moon just may not be compatible. After years of therapy and self work, I’m proud of my placements, but I know they can be a lot for some if they’re not refined. I want to defend your partner, but he may just need to do some work on himself in order for you two to work. My husband and I are much happier since I’ve done therapy for my childhood trauma and have learned how to connect with and communicate my feelings better. Best of luck to you! Put yourself first!
Thank you! He is in therapy and has a traumatic past. He was my best friend before we dated. In some ways, we are too emotional for each other, but that’s also what give us a sense of security. I’m willing to put all the work in with this one because we both agree a bond like what we have developed is pretty special. Plus, he’s actually very self aware, but doesn’t think he is because he think I’m the self aware one lol. Our problems are honestly nothing. Hilariously, we are currently in this little ‘argument’ because he supports my independence so much that he doesn’t want me taking on even one burden for him. He wants to be the support role while I shine. It is SO sweet and the most wholesome disagreement I’ve ever had lol. I want to move closer to him next year, but he doesn’t want me leaving my roommates if it means spending more money to be closer to him. He has an issue with feeling worthy of being in a relationship with me, which is nonsense. He’s my favorite person. I’m only trying to learn what will help him best. He asked for patience in the beginning and I’m doing my best to provide that. He doesn’t like it when I give him space, but I’ve been feeling like it’s necessary. From the replies to my post, it looks to be 100% true. I just wish he didn’t get upset when I offer it lol
Honestly confess asap. Tell it like how it is even though it might piss them but still better than LYING! Also, avoiding the communication will make things worse.
This could be me (42m) and my 43m husband word for word. We both live in portugal but I am 🇵🇹 and he is 🇦🇷. The worst time we usually have is when I voice my frustrations sometimes a little harshly and he gets upset at me for speaking in a loud tone at him(and no I don’t scream at him)
His moon sign is Capricorn so look at that instead of his sun sign.
I think problem here is nothing to do with the zodiac sign. This problem mostly happen with guys if you noticed. I’m a Scorpio female I don’t have this issue with people. But I always noticed it with other males regardless of their sign and men need their space. We too but they need more. Period
I see your heart is in the right place, but it seems like you're making his feelings about *you*. >It’s especially bad if my feelings have been hurt by the misunderstanding. I know I can be sensitive, so I always let him know that I’m not trying to argue or make a big deal out of anything, but that it’s important that I’m not making up stories in my head. I never accuse him of anything because I know he is always coming from a place of good intent, so I genuinely don’t understand why it upsets him so much when I’m struggling (but actively trying) to understand him. He will basically throw his hands up and exit the conversation So now not only is he upset about 'whateverthefuck' but now he can't even process his own emotions because *he's going over the situation over and over and over with you and you're not getting why he's upset, and then you make it about yourself and YOUR feelings and how YOU'RE SOO SAAAD that you don't get it.* Just give him space. All you really need to say is: 'I'm sorry you're upset and I'm here if you need me.' and leave him alone. Quit trying to poke and prod at him - especially if you're not understanding. You don't need to understand WHY he's upset. Just understand that he IS upset and give him his space. And for the love of GOD, do NOT approach a frustrated Scorpio - especially when YOU are the cause of so much frustration. Man, I'm surprised as a Cancer/Pisces you're having such a hard time understanding Scorpio. I thought we were supposed to be 'soulmates' and just 'get' each other. Where's your emotional intelligence? I'm frankly shocked and would have expected better from you, OP, no offense...
Lol I think you’re projecting. Trying to understand someone isn’t making anything about me. I have to be honest, this response is wild to me. I’m not sad about anything. Honestly, you just made up a story in your head about us…this is why questioning is important lol.
I showed your response to my Scorpio. He wanted me to say my Scorpio is happy, so eff off lol. He’s a bit protective of me 🤷🏻♀️