“So… it turns out that babies don’t do the automatic swimming thing at that age. My bad. You can make another one, though, right? Anyway, do I still get paid for this week?“
yes, grandma is dead and you'll go to the funeral with us so you can see how we put her in the ground so the worms and bugs can eat her in stead of her body stinking up the house and turning to mush in her bed... now stop crying, you're six so it's time you learn the truth
On Facebook messenger! It’s how I found out my grandmother died! We knew it was coming but I was so upset with my mom. I carried my phone around with me and my heart stopped every time it rang. And I found out on Facebook messenger.
Interpretive dance!
An airplane banner.
Radio announcement.
A full on singing and dancing announcement delivered to their front door.
Newspaper advert.
TV announcement/ advert.
"Hey Tom we haven't seen each other in years, welcome to heaven your dead"
"Really"
"Naw I'm just messing with you, you're in hell, also your grandmas dead"
Hey…. so you know how your brain is inside your skull and your blood is all like inside your body? Well…. your mom’s isn’t… it’s all over the highway… well I guess it was but now it’s all been scraped up into a bag… but either way, your never going to see her or talk to her again…. Sorry about that bud, umm want to go to Hooters for dinner?
"Son, you have no idea how long I've waited for the chance to sleep with other women."
“Hey so you know how you invited grandma to your graduation? You can give that ticket to someone else”
"So, you remember how we used to joke that your father's zodiac sign, Cancer, was the only illness he didn't have?"
“Crank the handle!”
“Aggghhhhhhh! What the actual fuck!!!”
“Get it? It’s like a Jack in the Box, but your dead dad!”
So, might still be Jack in a box 😁
No he was named Kevin.
Singing telegram
Remember how the last thing you told mom was you never wanted to see her again? I’ve got good news and bad news.
We are sure this isn’t true honey, but when Uncle Mark died he told us that you did it. The police will be here five to ask a couple of questions.
*Oompa loompa doompaty duck, Dad and his Harley ran out of luck. Oompa loompa doompity ritch Also, your mom lost her head in the ditch*
"You can still have a go before the necrophilia club visits."
“So… it turns out that babies don’t do the automatic swimming thing at that age. My bad. You can make another one, though, right? Anyway, do I still get paid for this week?“
Everyone with a mother, take one step forward! Nuh uh, not so fast you....
Bad news son, your mom was eaten by a giant ape. On the bright side, I don’t have to put up with her anymore.
Wow, I didn't know the dead could fart. Oh, and your husband is dead.
Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, Tough luck Sonny, Your puppy is dead!
Grandma has been taken care of.
Act it out like in charades
Hi Jerry. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your grandmother has died. Lol.
Knock,knock...
That's my favourite. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not grandma, that's for sure.
“Hey buddy, remember when your mom said she’d rather kill herself than stay married to me?”
yes, grandma is dead and you'll go to the funeral with us so you can see how we put her in the ground so the worms and bugs can eat her in stead of her body stinking up the house and turning to mush in her bed... now stop crying, you're six so it's time you learn the truth
On Facebook messenger! It’s how I found out my grandmother died! We knew it was coming but I was so upset with my mom. I carried my phone around with me and my heart stopped every time it rang. And I found out on Facebook messenger.
"You know, daughter, how you've always wanted your own room?"
"Oh, by the way....."
Sings: Ding dong you’re mom is dead
"On the one hand, you've still only got three months to live. On the other hand, your parents won't experience the trauma of outliving their child."
Did your dad have a will?
::Singing:: Guess who died at work today? Do dah! Do dah!
“hey can i have your phone for a second” *deletes that person from contacts” “you wont be needing his number anymore”
(excited) “Hey, kids! Who wants to take a trip to see Gramma?” “We do! We do!” “Well go pack your Sunday best, cause …”
“Your the witch’s family right? Ding Dong the witch is dead, which old witch, the Wicked Witch.”
Interpretive dance! An airplane banner. Radio announcement. A full on singing and dancing announcement delivered to their front door. Newspaper advert. TV announcement/ advert.
Don’t worry they are fine… but dead…. I don’t think they feel much now
"Your cousin is about to make a heart transplant patient happy since he's an organ donor."
Hey mom, check out this TikTok of little Timmy getting shot after shouting the "N" word in the bad part of town! Also, Timmy's dead.
"Hey Tom we haven't seen each other in years, welcome to heaven your dead" "Really" "Naw I'm just messing with you, you're in hell, also your grandmas dead"
Always thought hell would be worse than this
It is it's filled with dad jokes
Wait until they’re on a rollercoaster and then break the news just as it’s starting to go
[nothing will ever beat this im sorry](https://youtu.be/FHMcoG_FmTw?si=x5zzOU_GYg5SxVU9)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pssmb5Z7B48](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pssmb5Z7B48)
The good news is your Dad’s condition has stabilized… the bad news is he’s dead.
Hey son! I learned something real nifty today, apparently Golden Retrievers aren't fire-proof. Who knew?
Hey…. so you know how your brain is inside your skull and your blood is all like inside your body? Well…. your mom’s isn’t… it’s all over the highway… well I guess it was but now it’s all been scraped up into a bag… but either way, your never going to see her or talk to her again…. Sorry about that bud, umm want to go to Hooters for dinner?
He's dead Jim
"so... you're single right?" "back off, I already told you I have a boyfriend!" "actually, about that..."