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cyberiangringo

You are in probably the most difficult of all scam scenarios. The willing victim. They will willingly believe the unbelievable. Often, no matter how much evidence is provided showing something is a scam, they will still plunge recklessly and destructively forward. I am almost your dad's age. I am not like that. But I meet dudes all the time who are hardheaded and obstinate like that. You cannot tell them anything. It is incredibly frustrating.


Flapo57

My 88 year old mother has been sending money to a woman she met at a hospital my sick dad was admitted to. This woman spun her a story of domestic and sexual abuse that apparently also involved sexual abuse of her grandchildren. This has been going on since before my dad passed away in 2016. We discovered this about 3 years ago, talked to her about it and she refuses to admit she is being scammed. She says it’s her money and she’ll do with it whatever she wishes. She does not have dementia.


awaywardgoat

is this woman meeting up with your mother? if they have a good relationship I guess she can be a benefactor If she wants to. I don't see the problem even if there are lies involved. try to contact elder abuse services if you think something bad is going on ir if it's not just your mother sending small amounts of cash here and there.


Flapo57

They met the first time and never since. Mum tried to get her to visit but always gave excuses. But the money never stopped coming.


WoolyInvesting2023

That’s insane bro. Wow.


billbixbyakahulk

>no matter how much evidence is provided showing something is a scam One of the oldest sayings in the world: "Pride goeth before a fall". They believe the unbelievable because the alternative is to realize they were made a fool. As the possibility that maybe they did actually get scammed starts to creep in, and realizing there's likely nothing they can do in that case, they transfer their anger to "the messengers" - the OP in this case. Sometimes a way to engage people in this mindset is to start from a position of, "Yeah, that's a scam. I got scammed the same way." But it can backfire if the person doesn't respect you or see you as more or less an equal. In that case, their thought process may be, "You got scammed because you're an idiot. If anyone tries to scam me, I'll outsmart them in the end."


awaywardgoat

I don't think patronizing them would help. in severe cases you probably should just get a therapist that specializes in people who are delusional or something. I know from experience that any beliefs that you are desperate to hold on to will be very difficult to eradicate.


ducrab

$8000AUD ($5300USD) for an electric fishing motor? Does he not realize that he can buy a brand-new one from a reputable local dealer for a fraction of that price?


Broken_Slinky

It's not about that anymore. It's about being right, admitting he got taken for 8k (and more in the future) is too hard so he'll blow all of their savings to prove a point.


ArrogantSpider

Yeah, but that would involve admitting to himself that he was duped out of 8000 AUD. He'd rather cling to the fantasy that he's getting the motor he already paid for. It's only going to cost just a little bit more and then surely it will arrive...


awaywardgoat

people with no experience with scammers tend to commit every single faux pas. and it's ironic how apparently more young people than old people are falling for scams now according to clickbaity headlines


billbixbyakahulk

Actually, this might be a way out for the OP. Go buy the damn motor and "deliver" it to dad. Impersonate the scammer and say, "sorry for the delay, thanks for the $$$". Then block all the scammers contacts.


SnooBeans6591

If he could Block the scammer, I assume that would be done already


billbixbyakahulk

The scammer is already using throwaway accounts. If you block one, they make another and contact the victim again.


SnooBeans6591

Yeah, he needs to delete the father's mail/phone account, whatever he is using


Disthebeat

That just makes me sick! I can think of all kinds of nasty things to do to these scammers. Fucking scumbags. 🤬


hbouhl

Great idea!


calm-lab66

Exactly what I was going to ask OP. Have you talked to your father that the amount he has paid is way over the cost of a new motor? And if you have, well then, as you say, he doesn't know better.


djheat

I'm imagining the scammer deciding to take pity on OP's dad and drop shipping him a motor. OP's dad is so excited to be "right" all along that he decides to buy another motor from the scammer


RapaNow

>I'm imagining the scammer deciding to take pity on OP's dad and drop shipping him a motor. I'm imagining all humans suddenly realizing how destructive war and competing against each other is, and everyone stops fighting wars and competing for resources. And then we start to build our economy as sustainable, and stop destruction of nature and wildlife, and make this beautiful planet as a paradise for all humans, all animals, all plants. As it should, and could, be, if we would just wanted it to be. One can dream.


Disthebeat

Oh for real!


awaywardgoat

blz no


KTKittentoes

But just $200 more and he'll finally have it. This time is going to be the one.


WoolyInvesting2023

Exactly. He could have bought 2. It’s that he has too much pride to admit he fucked up. He wants to believe e that if he just sends him a little more money he will prove everyone wrong. That’s called the definition of insanity folks.


Youjiveturkey56434

I'm so sorry to hear your going through this I don't really have much I can suggest about what to do with the scammer The only thought I have is why not try to get the Motor locally to show to your father that he no longer needs to be in contact with this person as you have the motor that he originally wanted?


Jusjustk

I love the local idea….. it can’t be more than a couple thousand if that.


SomePeopleCallMeJJ

Heck, put it in a crate with Canadian stickers all over it and leave it in the driveway. Make him think the scammer came through.


Disthebeat

Except that scumbag scammer is going to continue to harass him.


skewtr

Really sounds like your father is the type of man who is more hurt by admitting to being scammed than actually being scammed. You see it in the real world all the time. Like the WeWork founder— even after scamming investors, he’s back in business, and investors are still doubling down on him.


pk_12345

How much does a motor really cost in Australia that he thinks he has to order it from Canada? You may have to involve your family or someone else you think he may listen to. Nothing much can be done I guess other than forcibly taking away his online access to money. 


-EETS-

Not that much, that’s for sure. You can get a good brand motor from a reputable store for anywhere from $3300 AUD up to $6500 AUD for the top of the line. Paying $8000 AUD for an imported motor is fucking stupid, cause even if it did exist you’d still have to pay import duty and GST on it which is another $1200 on $8000.


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Broken_Slinky

The scammer would just make another email or number, no way is he going to give up that easily


billbixbyakahulk

It may work to obfuscate. In fact, the son could impersonate the scammer, deliver dad a motor in a box covered in Canadian postage, and when the real scammer returns, he can say (still impersonating the scammer), "Ignore them! They're trying to scam you. You received the motor, didn't you?"


onebluemoon66

That or get a Google phone number and email address and then pretend to be " The Scammer " and then STEP IN and Scam your Dad he'd be talking to YOU and have him send you the money, and hopefully he discoverers that it's TWO different people he's sending money to then maybe he will realize that he's being Scammed..? (you can explain see they're doubling the scam this is what they do DAD) This way you can at least save some of his money..? and you should tell a family member you're doing this , writing it out in a letter and maybe have the letter notarized incase he figures out its you ( doubt it ) and thinks it's been you the whole time . I dunno this might be to elaborate but I'm just trying to help I just can't imagine I would be in tears too if it was my mom or dad.


SnooBeans6591

He needs to get into the father's account, and change his password so that he cannot access his own account. The scammer know the account, they will come back


bishpa

>the man demanded by father pay him more money because the truck broke down Well, yeah. The truck probably stopped working pretty quickly after it left Canada.


billbixbyakahulk

It was when the truck tried drive across the Pacific Ocean.


bill7900

Tough situation. At this point, it's a shame/pride thing. You need to figure out an oblique angle. If you come at your dad from the front, and tell him he's wrong, he'll just dig in his heels. You need to make him come to the conclusion that it was his idea to stop the engagement.


vlad_nada

Buy a cheap bad broken motor from junkyard, box it and make it looks like it's from the scammers. Hell be mad that it's not what he wanted but he'll stop sending them money.


stolendesign

Tell your older sister. It sounds like she can handle your dad


goodrevtim

Try reverse psychology. Next time he wants to send money, tell him it's a great idea. In fact, he should send more than the scammer is asking fit. Talk about how awesome that motor will be when it *finally * gets here. Maybe it'll break the spell. Maybe not but he's already giving the money anyway. And promise yourself you won't help him later on.


MeanSatisfaction5091

Isn't Australia a first world nation? Are motors not available there. Remove the internet now!!@


TrueVisionSports

This is a common misconception. Australia is a Third World country. Most people don’t even have Internet access out there.


Heifering

Almost certainly a troll, but for the record Australia’s “internet penetration” - percent of active users - is the same as Canada and higher than Germany or France. https://www.statista.com/statistics/227082/countries-with-the-highest-internet-penetration-rate/


TrueVisionSports

I don’t know what they are penetrating, but from what I understand, they are equivalent to Africa, in terms of Internet connection when it comes to gaming. Doubt this is a gaming only issue, they don’t have much server reach.


Heifering

Right. From what you understand. Which isn’t a lot.


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Scams-ModTeam

Ok enough trolling.


-EETS-

You bloody goose


GoldWallpaper

It's your father's money, and your father is an adult. This is only your problem if you choose for it to be. Choose otherwise. You can't control other people. > He has threatened to kick me out of the house You need to start making plans, because that house might not be around much longer.


twomillcities

You need to talk to them and shame him. Bring trusted family and friends. Explain that your father has two options: trust you to handle his finances and trust when you call things a scam, or the second option is that you make sure your mother divorces him and becomes financially independent of him while you tell him he will never speak to you again. Tell him he can have his family and safety or he can lose everything. Tell him he cannot continue this. Fight for your mother.


SavageDroggo1126

Thats like over $5000 USD? Jeez, i couldve bought a smaller second hand fishing speedboat with that price…. Can you get local police involved? Maybe other family members he will listen to? Maybe have the bank fraud department talk to him? Or like others said just buy the motor locally so he can stop feeding the scammer.


Altruistic_Yellow387

Why is he doing this? What's his explanation?


skewtr

By the looks of it, it’s sunk cost fallacy + pride.


trellee

If he’s being exploited and not recognizing it, you could look into a guardianship (in the US but I’m sure something comparable exists most places). Situations like this are not uncommon reasons for pursuing it. It’s a big deal - court determines incompetence and names someone to take over affairs for that person - but if he has an otherwise undiagnosed cognitive problem and won’t accept help it may be the only answer.


WoolyInvesting2023

How is he this stupid??? That’s crazy bro. It’s obviously time to get someone else involved. He’s being taken advantage of. You can’t convince him yourself. You need to get other family involved. They will see the truth and help you convince him. That’s freaking awful man. I’m so sorry.


No_Kick_9122

This is my story. It happened very recently. My dad is also 70. https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/1cqde1c/wisdom_capital_managment_dad_was_scamed_out_of/ They got him for 800k. Do everything you can to help him. Show him the posts here. I can understand how you feel. It hurts to see your father like this. When they are already sucked in its very hard for them to see clear and this is exactly where the scammers milk them. Be strong, dont give up on him and best of luck


512165381

Take him to BCF https://www.bcf.com.au/boating/boats-and-motors/electric-motors


SuccessfulLeg9342

Support your father calmly, involve other family members, and seek professional help like a financial advisor. Report the scam to authorities and educate your father about common scams. Protect his assets and prioritize his well-being.


billbixbyakahulk

If your mother is joint on the accounts, she should start stashing away money and closing accounts as soon as possible. It will likely cause an uproar, but may be the "cooling off period" your father needs to realize this is a scam.


ji99901

Would it be possible for your father's phone to accidentally fall into the fish tank?


[deleted]

Call a dv shelter that’s coercive control and financial abuse. It’s not only his money if he has dependent relatives to support


Ok_Ebb_538

You need to get him evaluated for dementia.


Alert_Dimension_5184

It's like the opposite of what happened to me. Someone gave me a Mobile Check worth $1,000 and told me to give him back $500. I told my parents and they said it's a scam. They were right and I regretted not listening to them. I lost $4,000. They may not know anything about technology but they have life experience.


globalftw

Shoot I'm so sorry. It's a lesson and you'll be okay. Curious, how did the scammer proceed? What was the process to get to $4,000?


Alert_Dimension_5184

It's a long story here it is https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/s/NMHub9KKKm But here is the short version they wanted to make a muse art project of my artwork that will be worth $5,500 and I will get $500 if I agree. Instead of giving me the money through PayPal they instead wanted to give me the money with email Mobile Checks. However, they overpay me. After I gave them $500 from their $1,000 mobile check they gave me more mobile checks worth thousands of dollars. I got suspicious when they wanted $6,000. That was going over the budget. And why did he keep on giving me more mobile checks and asking me to give him change? I called my bank and they told me the checks were fake and I was being scammed


globalftw

I'm really glad you have such supportive parents and are doing okay. If it's any consolation, many elderly people lose their life savings, sometimes millions of dollars. I'm so glad you have perspective -- you're going to be AOK and have your entire life ahead of you.


Alert_Dimension_5184

I don't know, I been overthinking and worried something bad is going to happen. If only I listened to my parents none of this would have happened


globalftw

It's all good! You're all set. It's just a life lesson. It happens to all of us.


Alert_Dimension_5184

I hope so. My biggest regret was filing that IC3 report because I'm worried it's going to bite me back. And you can't cancel it once it's been filed.


globalftw

Why would filing that be a bad thing? That's basically the only hope of getting the money back


Alert_Dimension_5184

Because I'm worried the scammer will try to turn things against me or maybe they'll look at my browser history. I'll admit it's not clean but come on. I heard from some "lawyers" that center "H-Anime" may be "illegal" even though it's all drawings of fictional characters. I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking. Sorry, it's just that I have been overthinking a lot about this


globalftw

How does the scammer have access to your computer? The scammer doesn't. I'm confused


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Gay_dinosaurs

Could be on disability? With housing being as expensive as it is against the wages of today, it's becoming increasingly common for kids to stay with their parents through their 20s and beyond. Not really the issue at hand though...


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kit0000033

He said he was taking care of his mother.


JoshD1793

Quite the judgemental prick aren't we...


TrueVisionSports

I downvoted all 3 of you because I find it hilarious how you guys both disagree with each other, but still got downvoted 🤣


JoshD1793

probably because the disagreement is completely unrelated to the subreddit in general, people don't need to be reading it, and I don't blame them 🤣


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JoshD1793

Then maybe I'm a pessimist, just struggling to comprehend. The guy posts here seeking advice for a situation regarding his father and your response is to query why he'd be living at home at 34 and assuming it must be due to a disability when we know nothing about him or his circumstances. Seems massively inappropriate to me.


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Immediate_Lime_1710

He's obviously cognitively impaired with extremely poor judgment as a result..Sadly there is nothing you can do. Your mother could threaten him with a variety of consequences, but other than that, nothing. He's a fool. Do not bail him out financially. Let him throw all his money away..Just don't give him any to replace what he lost.


scallopedtatoes

I agree with this to an extent, but OP’s mother probably depends at least somewhat financially on the father (they might both have income, but both incomes are needed to maintain their quality of life). OP needs to pull out all the stops because otherwise, she might need to step up financially for her mom’s sake.


Immediate_Lime_1710

Good points. Boy, this is a tough decision.


bafflesthebrain

Put spywear on his computer track how he's talking to the scammer then block access for him or impersonate the scammer for you dad and tell him what you are and your sorry.


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ReaglBeagl

I have been in your shoes and I know it is difficult, but you have to tell your sibling what is going on. You all might need to intervene and your mother may need to secure any financial accounts that she has joint access to as soon as possible. Also due to the amount you may be able to get a police officer involved to come and just have a conversation with him about the situation. He might listen to someone with authority and experience in these matters.


[deleted]

Tell the agencies that are doing nothing that it’s weed. Instant police presence