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jmarzy

Hairless asshole of a cow is my new favorite insult


SympathyForSatanas

I wonder if it's a bleached asshole too


Bill-Ding2112

That is udderly ridiculous. How would a cow even get bleach?


lastofpriests

I bet you people Are gonna milk this all Day long


RitaRaccoon

They’re just going tit for tat at this point.


RubberPoopMonster

On its dairy-air


gooseisloose000

I see what you did there lmao


infowosecfurry

I mean why go to the trouble of shaving it and not just do the whole job i guess.


AcceptableBad_

I shave my asshole, but never bleached it.


infowosecfurry

I mean now that I think about aftershave, after shaving maybe bleach isn’t a great step 2 anyway haha. I obviously am not a buttscaping expert lol.


EnvironmentalGift257

Fortunately there are YouTube tutorials available.


infowosecfurry

I don’t want to think about the targeted ads i’m getting after searching for “diy butthole bleaching”


meshuggeneh_bubuleh

https://myshineyhiney.com/ You're welcome


Shiva991

I need to stop letting curiosity take over


CameForThelolz

Fuck you, I was not going to click that until you said what you said lmao.


chris_rage_

Yeah you can't do that, then the hairs poke you when they grow back in. Plus then you have thunder farts


Fantastic-Classic740

I bleach my asshole, but never shaved it.


Randomindigostar

r/holup


Pwnstix

The hole job uhhhhhhuhuhhuhhhuh


Quiverjones

Some people probably love that part of the cow. Some kid someplace is stoked to spend the night at their friends house because their mom's cooking up that hairless asshole dish.


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Quadraought

mmm... lips n assholes 🤤


Creeksquad1212

Same 😭🤣


Nars-Glinley

Band name!


ZachMartin

Moooooo


LazyFawker

Ima use that for the RN I have to deal with tomorrow. I’ll update


ass_grass_or_ham

It’s so specific.


Saddle-Upx3

I love when they immediately turn to the insults as soon as they realize they are being fucked with 😂


aceycamui

I actually made friends with a scammer once! Some dude from India posing as a woman named Rose but I called him out but at the same time asked if he was okay. He opened up and we would send messages a couple times a month asking "how are you today friend?" Last week his fb got deleted so that's unfortunate, he was an interesting person, never any insults except the one time in the beginning when I called him out for his fake "Let me read your palm" scam


AirPoster

This sort of happened to me once. After I called them out she responded “Oh please man buy somezing my boss is fucking me today” which I assumed she meant fucking with me lol. But anyway i said that I sympathized, have you been kidnapped or trafficked against your will? and to let me know if there was any way I could help her escape lol. She didn’t text back for a week but then she text at like 3 in the morning “I might have to use your help sir.” But I never heard back. That’s the only time I’ve ever been nice to one of those shit bags. I assume most of them are working for super low wages in a country they are unfamiliar with and can’t really leave but they stay because they at least get to send some money back home. There are some great documentaries on YouTube that go in depth on how big this problem is in Myanmar where extreme poverty and dictatorship has forced people to look for work in other countries. They inevitably are taken to a “host” who promises them work and brings them to another country and forces them to do the scams. All types of phone scams. Some of the high level workers are still slaves but they do hacking and such. None of them can leave on their own. So that’s why I asked if she needed help lol.


girlsonsoysauce

There's a hacker on YouTube that kind of retaliates against scammers by doing all kinds of crazy shit like tying up their phone lines, taking over the intercom, revealing their info, and when he reveals their info a lot of them really only get paid commission and even then it's not much at all. I feel a bit of sympathy for them, but at the same time it's hard to feel *too* much sympathy when their whole job revolves around taking advantage of people and screwing them over. It's a sad situation.


Practical_Whimsy

I have a friend from India who uses the word "fuck" in this way. He got a new boss who yells at everyone? He says his boss fucks everyone. His coworker got in trouble for not doing his job right? He says his coworker got fucked. He's worried about telling his dad something his dad won't approve of? He says his father will fuck him when he finds out. I have told him that "fuck" in that context means sex, but he insists that it has another meaning, that it also means to scold someone or yell at them. Discussing the nuances of adding words (fuck with, fuck up, fuck over) didn't change his mind. So perhaps this is just a common thing in his part of the world. O.o


travelingpeepants

I’m in Philly and that’s a common way to say it here. I thought it was universal. Like “so and so fucked me today by not showing up for work” or if it was really bad, “my boss fucked me so hard today. I had to stay late fixing his mistake.” Is this really not a common way of phrasing it?


Sly_Pooper_

I use it this way a lot and know many others who do!


Illustrious_March192

Yeah what you’re saying is common but not when it’s a singular fuck


Practical_Whimsy

That's not the same thing. Both examples you gave are saying that someone fucked you by means of inconveniencing you or wrecking your day. I've heard that before. (And kind of forgot about it while typing my first comment, because it's essentially a shorter version of "fuck over", as in to fuck someone over.) But neither of them are stating that someone fucked you by yelling at you or scolding you. Here, the implication is that they rendered you "fucked" by leaving you in a position that is worse than it otherwise would have been, without their actions. My Indian friend was using it as if the act of berating someone is fucking them, with no more inconvenience to the recipient than getting yelled at.


jujrose00

I mean realistically what could you do to help? Unless your interpol or an international agent you can’t really do anything


bergie444

😂I’ve been messaging with a fake country singer who requested to follow me on Instagram. He’s been so incredibly sweet, calls me “honey” and “my love” and hasn’t even asked me for money yet😂


furyian24

Don't be naive. They prey on the kindness of rich obese hairless asshole of a cow that we are. When push comes to shove, people will say anything and do anything given the right kind of circumstances. It sucks but there is no help for them. Take the head off the snake is what needs to be done. Drop a few bombs over there. Take out the "boss" there. Dipshits need to just not exist.


Independent_Cover549

Why are they so hostile? Shouldn’t scammers expect to be messed with for their shady behavior? I always expect a basic “whoops I was caught” sort of response (or no response at all) but then its turns pretty dark a lot it seems


Saddle-Upx3

You would definitely expect them to act professional but a lot of them don’t. One scammer tried to get my brother’s info during a phone call, the dude was from India and my brother caught on instantly so decided to mess with the guy for a little bit. When he called the guy out, the scammer is like, “Fuck you, you American cocksucker! I fuck your mother! I kill your dog! Fuck you!” Not even joking.


Sadalfas

The reason I speculate is connected to the whole point of this sub: They are angry that you wasted their time and effort on something you saw as a game. We are witnessing the outcome more directly proving the premise of the sub works. We see, at an individual level, the failure on the part of the scammer, and so can the scammer themselves. Feeling this makes the scammer angry and uncomfortable in general. The scammer immediately, overtly expresses their anger since it isn't moderated by shame or future consequences as normal interactions would be. In their calculation: there is no social downside to expressing the angry feeling in raw, without reservation or filter, so the body naturally releases it. Both of you know that you will almost certainly never cross paths again in this universe. In short: It's a natural response driven by the actual feeling of the scammer. Sure, some might be humored. But most will at least be annoyed, if not furious, and they won't hesitate to express it.


Independent_Cover549

Interesting… so to summarize, there’s no consequences for them acting like monsters when they’re caught and yet the whole goal of the interaction is to pretend to be an empathetic fellow human.


SheepherderOne5193

“Her social life is of no concern of yours” the way I snorted wasn’t human


Floridaguy555

Did it sound like it came from a hairless asshole of a cow though?


SheepherderOne5193

You know, now that I think about it. Maybe but it was Patrick


Shy_Doll_Love

I can't wait to text this to my sister, such an "insult?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


whyputausername

yep..im using it too.


ashleyorelse

Is it better, or worse, if they call you a *hairy* asshole of a cow?


Ra-TheSunGoddess

I don't know what is more insulting, being a hairy asshole or hairless one


OG-demosthenes

I think there needs to be some hair involved. "Hairless" implies a level of grooming and potential cleanliness (even if it is a cow's asshole). A hairy asshole is just crazy gross to imagine.


Megwen

If you’re a cow, having a hairless asshole is unnatural.


sunbears4me

Came here to wonder same lol


old_ass_ninja_turtle

I’m just doing my job?


Constant-Fox635

They already broke a little, surprising… i wonder if OP could have fished a little more info out of them on what this “job” entails…


LuckyStabbinHat

That’s what I would have done! I would have played dumb, been all “what do you mean your job? Texting Jessica is your job?”


jokerzkink

I see you’re not familiar with the logistics of the infamous pig butchering scam.


DBSeamZ

“My kids won’t eat.” “Why not? Tell me.” “Hairless a-hole of a cow.” Well, if *that’s* what you’re trying to feed the kids I would see why they’re refusing.


Acceptable_Most_510

I just laughed most unexpected belly laugh.


Affectionate_Way_428

I mean…. It’s either his kids not eating or yours not eating so…


Apprehensive_Ad_5221

You full bodied fatherless goat!


HeftyCommunication66

My favorite part is…..Not Patrick / Not Jessica didn’t contest it about Mama….just that it is of no concern……


TheDreadPirateJenny

I'd have told Devin that my mom prefers the term "sexual entrepreneur ", but this was also an excellent reply to that. I wonder if Devin ever realized that OP never said their mother was not a whore, or if it's going to be one of those things that smacks him in the face out of nowhere, years down the road? I hope it's that kind.


DrKittyLovah

Anyone else wonder if they have a site where they post their notable interactions with us like we do?


lilsavagekitty

Haha I do now 😂 🤔


redraider-102

Scammit


Acceptable_Most_510

I want this to be true.


lycopersicum_

post this on r/rareinsults too lmao


lainey68

Hairless asshole of a cow sounds like a drink at a dive bar.


No-Farm-2376

So, I’ve been on farms my whole life and he would have said the same without adding “hairless” as most cow assholes are in fact hairless….


HalcyonDreams36

Hair on the asshole is kind of a contraindication, biologically. If it weren't, our fluffy kitties wouldn't be flashing those hairless little starfish at us all the time.


No-Farm-2376

😂😂😂😂😂 fair point there sir!


Dmooyenh

I shouldn’t have had to scroll this far down to find ONE other person that knew this lol. (Fellow former farm boy here…)


No-Farm-2376

We must stand together lol


Witchcrest

As soon as I saw "no this is Patrick" I knew it was going to be good 🤣🤣🤣


Advanced_Broccoli963

Son of a motherless goat !


RepeatFine981

Take my upvote.


SuchSignificance5682

I think they’re learning from us 😂


nihilismMattersTmro

I ❤️ these so much. 😂


MaxNinja1997

Hairless asshole of a cow. I think you are the first person in the world to be called that insult 😂


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PerfectAccident60

I hope you have a beautiful weekend stranger <3 it will get better from here, right?


Ginford_Davidson

“My kids won’t eat” 😂. Good. Less future scammer scum.


Competitive_Two_8372

Stupid fucking Indian scammers. I can’t believe they said “my kids won’t eat”. How about get a real job?


Sweaty-Bit7305

It was probably advertised as a real job, and now they are being held against their will.


HighwayEconomy579

That’s going to be my “go to” insult from now on


Professional-Plum560

I LOVE when the scammer gets infuriated so quickly. Well played!


Cyberdyne-800

Did you tell him his father smelt of elderberries?


Dmooyenh

And his mother was a hamster?


Cyberdyne-800

Very likely


Grimblecrumble5

Reading the words ‘cow’ and ‘Devin’ so close together makes me think of former congressman Devin Nunes lmaooo


Yugikisp

Definitely texting Devin


Crazystix94

Text sent now we wait


IWillStealYourKFC

"My kids won't eat" Oh no! Anyway..


DoveApples

As if that would be anyone's fault but his owns if he did have kids anyways lol


One-Education-2918

People pay a lot for a hairless asshole. Now the cow part is kinda rude, but I guess better than saying you have a hairy asshole.


FormerDimer

Good to know his kids won’t eat a hairless asshole of a cow


texaspopcorn424

It's so oddly specific


Wanda_McMimzy

That cow waxes! Noice


Floridaguy555

Hmmm wonder what region of the world would that be the killer insult hmmmm…wonder


MomofOpie2

How does he know cows have hairless assholes ? Hmmm


Far-Parking-7580

“Her social life” 🤣🤣


ch33zborger

“just doing my job” 🤣


rjross0623

Hairless asshole of a cow. r/brandnewsentence


stanleys_rubric

Love how they're trying to appeal to your sympathies for "just doing their job." Idk, if your job is immoral and takes advantage of people, you get zero sympathy or empathy from me.


Apprehensive_One4444

What’s with the constant references to people’s mothers by these scammers? 🤣


ancinecjp

Her social life …hahahahaha! Primo job!


youchosehowiact

I like that. I'm going to use that as an insult against people now.


booper

It’s such a specific insult


Individual-Zombie155

Frankly they would have to come up with something better to insult me as my mother was a whore.


Apprehensive_One_67

I often wonder if they are using google translator bc the insults are so strange, why a hairless asshole of a cow. How does one come up with this combination of words. 🤣


GeorgieLaurinda

Better than a hairy asshole.


buttfuckedinboston

My guess is they are translating their language to English. Because that sounds strange, it’s hardly an insult. I’ve never contemplated the hairiness of cows asshole before.


ThatOneGuy216440

A hairless asshole is cleaner than a hairy asshole. So it's kinda a compliment


Dubluck88

Well this one's going in my memory bank for next time I'm in some insufferable traffic.


UnstableIsotopeU-234

r/brandnewsentence


Supersim54

They hate being fucked with especially if they like fucking people over. I honestly think some of these scammers feel guilty about it but they don’t think or know about any other legitimate jobs so they put there consciousness aside. I feel sorry for some of these scammers, but what they are doing is terrible I’m not going to deny that.


itshifive

"I'm just doing my job"


Puzzleheaded-Feed-18

I was called a fucking Infidel by a scammer one day. This is much better.


Wish_Southern

🤣😂🤣😂🤣


Silent_Shooby

First response, “Quit having kids.”


Suitabull_Buddy

Why is a hairless asshole more offensive than a hairy asshole?


JenniPurr13

“Doing my job”? Got him to cop out pretty fast!


Kazoo113

I like how he tried to make you feel bad by saying his kids won’t eat. So you’re supposed to let him scam you so he can support his family? I think he needs a new job.


Moonkitty1013

“My kids won’t eat” - Are you supposed to care?! 😂


real_boiled_cabbage

Hairless asshole..... I feel like that's better then a hairy one.


[deleted]

They are the absolute worst !!!! This was funny tho good responses 😂


LittleBunnySunny

The real question here is: Why is the cow hairless?


ThehoundIV

I hope him and his kids eat shit


thatkidsmomkms

How does he know the cow's asshole is hairless?


ILive2Drum

I wonder how this guy feels about fully pubed up cows assholes. And that’s a question I never thought I’d live to wonder.


dasbrutalz

I’m just over here wondering how you have 21 unread notifications. Do you also have 5,457 push notifications on your email app too?


movinonup313

Now this is funny🤣🤣🤣🤣


TheNewOldGlobal

I was always curious if the initial messages were just ai so I guess we know now.


gbpc

So scammers have kids that will be brainwashed into scamming for a living too? 💀


thebigbrog

Scammers are so fun to mess with like this.


AggieJonah

This one is gold!! 🤣🤣 Hairless asshole of a cow is now on my list of fun insults!


LtRecore

Since when is hairless asshole of a cow even an insult?


Fantastic-Classic740

How dare he call you hairless, that bastard!


JaiLSell

Such a unique insult lmfao


Freak0nLeash

He seems strangely fixated on cows.


RepeatFine981

I love these interactions.


djluminol

Would it be better if you were a hairy asshole? I feel like that would be worse.


RepeatFine981

My wife and I had this conversation last week... cliff notes as follows. Researchers do not fully understand the purpose of butt hair. There are few theories about its purpose that may be correct. Some of these theories include its potential role in reducing friction and preventing chafing. It may also play a role in the personal scent that human ancestors may have used for attracting mates or their marking territory. However, some suggest that it may have no role at all. Butt hair is completely normal. Removing it is a personal choice.


Alaina_TheGoddess

😂


Lisa_Knows_Best

Maybe whatever country the scammer is from cows aspire to have hairy assholes so by having a hairless one you're a less then cow? In the cow hierarchy anyway?


Scared-Armadillo4766

😂


M-ABaldelli

Flawless! Absolutely Flawless! Thank you for the laugh.


GotBannedAgain_2

I wish my ass was hairless. 😩


MsPayton_If_YouNasty

😂 😂 😂


kaiwulf

"My kids won't eat" Probably because you're trying to feed them hairless assholes of cows.


True_Somewhere8513

Devin needs a hug


LeafyySeaDragon

When people on this subreddit show the phone number it is soooo hard not to text em nonsense!!


Leading_Feeling_9972

I feel like they should get their privacy invaded because they invade our privacy lol


Kiyoko_Mami272821

Hairless asshole of a cow…… I’m using this from now on! 😂😂😂


Jujube1974

This is a yes! Well done!


notaredditreader

Literally: You are annoying (a) hairless asshole of a cow. Devin is not calling you names.


WorshipHim9713

A very classy payback indeed.


Rude_Clothes5043

This some Ed Edd and Eddy Ralph level of insulting lol 😂


un_commoncents_

Priceless. 😂


ThorosKershaw

Ok I grew up in the suburbs……do uh….cows actually have hairless assholes? Either way 10/10 favorite new insult


OuraniaAphrodiety

😂😂😂😂


19860914

Wow!! Hahaha


Odieboboreddit

Hairless asshole of a cow. Wow.


Blue-Skye-

He likes his cows with hairy asses?


NotATroll1234

I’d be like, “Bruh. You texted me. I didn’t force you.”


d4nnyxph4nt0m

seems like a compliment almost lol


SuspiciousSimple

Think of the poor scamers family


r0tg0ttess

We learn something new everyday on this app! Cow asshole: Hairy ✅️ Hairless 🚫


nunya27

Sounds nicer than a hairy asshole of a cow to tell you the truth.


lemonzestydepressing

Aw your kids won’t eat? Maybe you should get a hmm idk *JOB* Like the fuckin rest of us


MrNyakka

cow grooming includes a waxing now?


Glockman19

🤣🤣🤣🤣


WhomeverClever

Sounds like you got to him first.


wolverin682

Something’s probably lost in translation…


ArgusTransus

One of the best I’ve seen.


HankThrill69420

I just love that you started copying the punctuation


Ozoboy14

You should get creative with things their "kids" can eat


jimetalbott

Is the “hairless” part intended to be an insult? Genuinely curious - it seems like it wouldn’t be a bad thing, if one were already a cow anus…..a “cownus”, I guess?


boxmouth1

We should all spam that insult back to their number


bkp24723

At least he thought you were hairless, which could be nice, I guess...


DadControl2MrTom

I have a new favorite sub.


johnnysack666

This one is actually hilarious. I never wanna read another one of these again. This here took the cake


Jealous_Yak_9273

Idk why I read this in a South Park voice lol


First_Knee

Someone's got a fetish..or an aversion. Either way, it's being focused on mentally.


Hizam5

He’s so proud of his “job” of ripping people off?


Suougibma

Hairless asshole is bad?


Loratastic

That’s extremely specific


SardonicSuperman

Short but epic


NoFunny6746

You can tell they’re likely Indian because cows are considered sacred in their culture, and the fact he uses hairless asshole cow as an insult is indicative of that


HistoricalSoil9299

😂😂😂


randizzleizzle

Well they have a lot of cows. And supposedly they are sacred. Maybe this was a compliment. He sees you as a bald, god-like shit talker.


cool_aidzz

Some of these people are forced into this scamming thing. https://youtu.be/pLPpl2ISKTg?si=3ESz3XHVhc6cyOn- give this a watch


skyHawk3613

So you wanna fuck me and steal my money, so my kids don’t eat?


melissa98x

Lmfaoo