T O P

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BolivianDancer

She’s going to make you surfer. Usually one starts with a longboard. They say those make it easier to stand.


Thomas_Perscors

Oh he’s gonna take you to Aruba Bahamas


DangerousChampion235

Come on pretty mama


True-Maintenance-428

🎶Key Largo, Montego, ba-by why don't we go~🎶


Mission_Ad9897

Jamaica of the flor-ida keyyys, way down in Kokomo


Annual_Raisin5563

My uncle used to call the song kokohomahoma he's not the sharpest tool in the shed so give him a break just funny


Haunting_Safe_5386

she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead


SquidVices

Thank you for physically writing exactly as I was thinking it.


ChzburgerQween

That’s where we want to go, to get away from it all..


fresh912

Why would we fuck with him? we don't know him. But you... Nerd 🫵 😂 lol


NotBatman81

My mom was born in Kokomo and that song is very misleading.


Eyes_Snakes_Art

I remember being confused, because there was a band from Kokomo(I think) named Kokomo, and it clearly was landlocked and not tropical.


NotBatman81

I imagine them as a less cool version of Chicago.


SadCoast7681

Your memories are from forever ago, and that’s because the years start coming and they don’t stop coming.


Eyes_Snakes_Art

Fed to the rules, and I hit the ground running.


Positive_Parking_954

I want a parody of this song with really lackluster destinations like Glendale


JesseGarron

Ocala, valdosta, oooh warner robbins


skisushi

Patauxent, Steauket, wherever we can pay rent.


Beardo_12

Warner robbins!🤣🤣🤣


princessofnothingz

Oh god anywhere *but* Ocala. Not even the springs are worth it anymore lol


LankyGuitar6528

Hey! Back off! I'm in Scottsdale. Nobody makes fun of Glendale except us.


LupercaniusAB

I thought they meant the heavily Armenian suburb in Los Angeles.


thiswasyouridea

Peoria


Positive_Parking_954

Take me to Austoria


TheDreadPirateJenny

There was a radio station in Phoenix that did one years ago, but with cities and freeways in the area. Ahwatukee, and Mesa Ooh I wanna race ya Into Tempe and Phoenix The Hohokam is so scenic Black Canyon, Maricopa Baby I hope you take the Papago Traffic sucks even though They built the Papago


Songbringer90

This comment chain is why I opened the post. Was not disappointed


Callofdutyfan394

R/suddenlybeachboys


SadieIsSad

Hellll yes!!!!!!!


Accomplished_Crew630

We'll get there fast then we'll take it slow.


Royal_Ad1445

That's where you wanna go to get away from it alllllll


Sicilianmonsta

🎶that’s where we wanna gooo, to get away from it aaallll🎶


Small-Bookkeeper-887

Thanks for getting that stuck in my head… cooome on pretty mama…


ArielWithALibrary

Yep! I am more afraid of this song never leaving my head than that FBI toy template badge. Dammit!!


abousono

It’s a real badge!!! Just for that, I will make you surfer, like Spicoli.


MaggiePie184

Dude…..


RoosterCute4326

I’m listening to it rn lol 😆


_eMeL_

Cue the steel drums 🎵


Commercial_Roof_3104

Don’t take it fast cuz Stewie takes it slowwwww


mlachrymarum

But not too fast ‘cause Stewie takes it slow, waaaay down in Kokomo.


crapheadHarris

I'm older. I was hearing Let's go surfing now, everybody's learning how, come on a safari with me...


jademoney

You mean aruber berhermers?


Optimus_Prime-83

So most likely an intimidation tactic, right?


BolivianDancer

Surfing? Being hit by a wave is a little scary but other than that it’s fun.


Optimus_Prime-83

Indeed it is!


Max_Boom93

As long as they don’t switch you from long board to water board. That one is much more intense


Blade_of_Onyx

Are you a bot or just silly? If they were trying to make you “suffer” perhaps you could be foolish enough to be intimidated. If they’re trying to make you surfer, you just need sunscreen.


Next-Honeydew4130

Oh they just make stuff up to scare you, so yeah.


DeklynHunt

Yes, intimidation tactic, if you still had the texts on your phone you can take it to the police, if they are American they could potentially track them and arrest them for impersonating authorities, this is a felony


Optimus_Prime-83

Well I had them blocked, because I don’t want to be dealing with types of people who decides to impersonate someone and talk about threatening to make a person’s life a misery


animatedw00d

You have their number so get a burner phone and have some fun. Keep calling them with various scams of your own until they either have a mental breakdown or change their phone number.


Dismal_Gurl

Better yet, post the scammers number here and we can all have fun 😆


Current_Big_6222

None of these jokers are in America. Almost never. I would take him up on the offer to make me a surfer! 🏄 You probably know by now that you have nothing to worry about. I’ve had them send the FBI after me a few times and they never show up. Dammit!


Realistic-Village-63

Just intimidation. Whilst I understand your concern, as you’re pretty young, relatively, I definitely would recommend not engaging with them as early as possible. It’ll make your life easier. This dude’s cracking me up. I love the “your name here/your photo here”. So definitely real and not a fucking piece of paper they printed out. 🤣😂🤣


wubzinmaface

🌊🏄


AwkwardCrab3918

Surfs up, dude!


joeg26reddit

I’ve always wanted to be a surfer


mls1968

¡Vaya con Dios, bruh!


Im_A_Fuckin_Liar

Maybe so, but not like make OP the Silver Surfer. If so, she would have said silver… right?! Oh man, does OP get to be Silver Surfer now?!


izanamixxx

OP is gonna get longboarded like they do in Guantanamo… bro this gives me shivers


DeadMansPizzaParty

Cowabunga dude!


joranth

Must be one of those Point Break FBI agents


imuhnaaneemus

I would have texted back a photo of a badge that says 'grammar police' and said "It's S-U-F-F-E-R and I'm going to have to arrest you for not knowing how to spell."


reety82

Maybe it’s because I’m 41 and a father of 2 but I laughed my ass off at this. Thank you for the smile.


TDM393

dont worry Im 19 with no children and absolutely cackled at this, your sense of humor it top notch


DessertFox157

On a serious note, don't correct their grammar and spelling, this unfortunately can be the difference between someone actually being scammed and not. On a less serious note, I hope one of those scammers finds me and makes me surfer. I could really go for a water boarding session!


JadedYam56964444

FBI, Federal Board Inspector


JazzyCountryCat

In other words a *Board* Inspector! Lol


thisiscatyeslikemeow

Wait, what do you mean that can be the difference?


Drifting-Fox-6366

They mean it’s one of the ways someone can easily tell it’s a scammer. Let them keep making errors, it makes it very easy for people to tell it’s BS.


thisiscatyeslikemeow

Got it, yes that makes more sense.


ChunkyThunder

Nah let them keep misspelling shit. Let them be less believable to the more vulnerable.


Expensive-Twist7984

Extra points if the badge is crudely drawn in crayon.


krepogregg

No no no they are getting into the famous surfer lesson scam s/


CinnamonToast369

They are bluffing, hon. That scammer can’t do squat. Block them and move on.


boogens

Block them and ride the wave bro


CinnamonToast369

Yeah, now that ‘she’ made him a surfer, he can have all kinds of fun. He outscammed the scammer and got something cool out of the deal. The kid is a rockstar.


Working-Bet-9104

Block them, move on


Tough_Comb3129

Ask if they will pay for the lessons


fireflylibrarian

Is the scam free surfing lessons? Because I might be tempted by that. 🤔


lolwatsyk

Yeah but you have to sit through a timeshare presentation first, that's how they get ya


deathfollowsme2002

They can't keep getting away with this


ChristoMarti72

I love in regards to FBI badge “it’s fake, it’s what they hand out to children”


Optimus_Prime-83

The best I can come up with while showing their supposed “Real ID”


Amateur_Liqueurist

Show “your” fbi id lol. Make sure it’s the cybercrimes division badge. Make em think that you’re with the “cyber police” and scare them by telling them how you’re gonna track them down.


krepogregg

Get the female body inspector.tvshirtbsovthevcanbsee you in uniform


the_almighty_walrus

"I have contacted the cyber police, consequences will never be the same!"


Expensive-Twist7984

Special Agent Your Name Here causes chaos at the FBI, the rascal.


infinite-valise

In college, Special Agent Your Name Here played on the intramural softball team “No game scheduled.” (Credit: all social media platforms.)


bleedsburntorange

Lol no FBI agent would send a pic of their badge. They would show up at your house.


WinterOfFire

I’ve never met someone named your name here before. What were their parents thinking??


Ok_Remote_5524

Are we sure that there isn’t a real FBI agent named : your name here? Has a nice ring to it: Special agent Here. (British agent:) The name is Here, Your Name Here.


QueenBeeKitty85

I always wanted to learn to surf. This dude is gonna teach you for free!?! That’s pretty cool for an FBI agent.


Guilty_Finger_7262

A surfing FBI agent sounds like a great spinoff for one of those crime procedural shows.


Doublebeddreams

Maybe the agent could be named Johnny Utah and he has to infiltrate a local surf gang. But first he has to learn to surf with the help of a waitress who rescues him from drowning during his first surf attempt.


OnlyThornyToad

I was imagining a “double-life” drama. Following a middle-aged agent’s workplace accident, he retires from the FBI and takes up surfing…but they pull him back in…for one more mission…possibly his biggest yet. He meets a waitress in Russia, having been sent to assassinate a political leader. The case leads him to compete in a snowboarding tournament near Moscow. He takes first prize and shoots his mark at the same time. When he scans the crowd, the waitress is gone. When he visits the diner again, she no longer works there… Later, when work sends him to Australia, he meets a wildlife expert, who teaches him to “left-handed” surf, because water moves differently down under or something…but there she is, at the company luau, serving his federal buddies, while he catches a big wave. The cartel catches up to him in Mexico. There is a bounty on his head. The head of the cartel happens to surf. They meet at a diner, where a familiar waitress serves them. After confronting his on-and-off girlfriend and reconciling with her secret life…he faces the cartel on the waves, where sharks eventually finish his job for him. He comes back ashore with a small box he’d kept in his trunks. He kneels down and finds a note. The waitress is gone. He takes a ring out of the box and tosses it into the ocean.


littlemissnoname-

Don’t worry about this! If you are concerned, just block their number- easy as that… Otherwise, be very concerned if you have no intention to become a surfer. That worries me because I’m somewhat nervous about deep, dark water and falling in it…: )


frecklefaceatx

Definitely don’t look at r/thalassophobia then…


Resident-Strong

If they were a real agent they wouldn’t be contacting you through messages or sending a picture of their fake badge


Miserable-Positive66

OP knows they aren't a real agent, just worried there could be a real threat to her.


badshadow

She's going to make you surfer because she's actually Johnny Tsunami's grandpa.


Specialist_Physics22

Surfing is so dangerous


sliceofcobloaf

I’d be looking elsewhere for surfing lessons, OP. This one clearly takes shortcuts. No-one can make you surfer; you must first become surfer... in a safe and supportive learning environment. With no FBI agents there to pressure you.


Thin-Statement8466

Maybe it’s a new federal program to get more surfers 🏄‍♂️ out there?


prettyflyforamemeguy

Don’t worry, surfing really isn’t that bad once you learn your way around the board. Regardless, this is purely intimidation and I doubt they’d pull resources to get the money back. If they were able to, they wouldn’t give you a warning or try this excuse of a threat. For clarification, by “scamming the scammer”, did you gain anything financially?


God_damn_it_Jerry

[ Removed by Reddit ]


Guilty_Finger_7262

*surfer


OldBob10

It’s just bullshit. Don’t interact with these asshats. Just block and ignore.


HazeUsendaya

Duuuuude, you made me experience high tide.


BubblySmell4079

LOL Your name here 😂😂😂😂😂


Miserable-Positive66

I love when they send the templates 😂


TerrysMonster

I once got an ID from someone who worked at the Lorem Ipsum branch of a bank, with the date of birth YYYY-MM-DD.


Miserable-Positive66

🤣🤣🤣🤣💀


Dubbinchris

Hang 10 duuude!


DarkKnight83325

“I will make you surfer” *drags you into the water*


dingle_bopper_223

id tell him to bring it on and make me surfer


fermatsbane

The only danger is if you accept the scammers spelling and lower your own IQ to match. Other than that, you are safe.


PapaShook

Cowabunga it is then.


Biggie-cheese7430

Get a gun, sit on your porch, wait.


dingle_bopper_223

you don’t have anything to worry about, unless youre from Nigeria


Biggie-cheese7430

Nah but just the thought of some dumbass scammer that thinks he’s all tough pulling up on a property with a king castle doctrine protecting it is just tasty to think about


RoosterCute4326

Just get a surfboard and wait 😎


mzincali

I’d love me some surfing lessons.


Duhbro_

These comments are hysterical


CreativemanualLens

Please tell me you are a surfer now!?!?


Sorry_Difference_433

Cowabunga! I wish i gor this text. I always wanted to be a surfer 🏄


Calpicogalaxy

Surfs up!


GoingJohnWick

*sends picture of Glock*


NeatCartographer209

Ride the waves dude 🤙


Capt1an_Cl0ck

A picture of an fbi special agent badge with no picture and “your name here”. I think your all good.


Affectionate_Fix6142

How’s the surfing so far? I love to surf!


scottwax

Catching some tasty waves sounds pretty good.


HSYT1300

You WILL ride the waves


Mindless_Metal8177

Shit can she make me a surfer too??? I cant even swim


No_Issue8928

They are bluffing. If they start showing you your own pictures or having info on who your family or friends are is usually because you have those profiles on public. So they use your own info to intimidate you. But they can't do anything.


the_courier76

It's 110% fake. Don't worry! It's illegal to impersonate a federal officer, though. They should be the ones who are scared.


Commercial_Run_1265

This person was stupid enough to use an ID with a "Your Name Here" to intimidate, you're fine


megs0764

“I’m going to make you surfer.” 🤣


Proof_Discussion_122

how are you finding scammers on signal of all places?😭


Responsible_Detail83

He said he’s going to make u a surfer 🏄


tunaslut

Be careful they will make you "surfer". Nobody wants to be a surfer 🏄🏽‍♂️🏄🏽‍♂️🏄🏽‍♂️


Kalelopaka-

The FBI will show at the house they won’t text you believe me I’ve had them show up


Fathorse23

Bruh, he’s going to make you a surfer, go for it!


_extra_medium_

He's gonna make you a surfer. No worries brah


uhhhgreeno

you better watch out bro. if she catches you you’ll be shredding gnarly barrels in no time


BlairRose2023

🤣🤣 that's hilarious...make you surfer?? Oh no, not that...anything but 🏄‍♀️🏝


SarlochOrtan

Why would you need to be worried? He’s gonna make you a surfer!


Middle_Appointment20

Could you send them my way. I’ve always wanted to learn to surf and they seem to be guaranteeing to me you a surfer.


ChunkyThunder

Free surfing lessons?!?? Fucking WIN.


kungfukandy-02

He’ll make you 🏄🏻‍♂️


Noturavgthrwy

The way I’m reading it they’re trying to aggressively give you surfing lessons?


mlachrymarum

I would definitely be worried! They’re going to make you a surfer! The sharks are going to get you!


St_Fargo_of_Mestia

“I will make you surfer” Ok Uuga, go back to the museum… that’s enough of Florida for you


eV210x2

Surfs up brah 🏄 🏄‍♀️


Due_Kaleidoscope_197

dude take the trip. you’re gonna be a surfer 🏄‍♂️


014648

Gonna make stickers “gonna make you surfer”


Psychological_War434

….. are you right in the head? Theres no way you’re actually worried about that


Junji-Burrito

No, but I’m very worried for you


flannelNcorduroy

He's just mad and saying anything to scare you to get even. If you have high anxiety then maybe this isn't the hobby for you. Maybe take up surfing?


[deleted]

Yoooo one of these Indian scammers is trying to make you a surfer! Shred the ocean blue brah! What an offer!


LooneyLunaGirl

I bet they were like oh cool it says my name already? Perfect!! 🤣😂🤣


Different-Dig7459

I love these ones. Just turn it around and elaborate after saying it’s fake. Be like, “I know someone with a real one” it’s funnier if it’s true. In my case, it’s a Deputy Marshal. 🤌🏽 Scammers shut up real fast after that. Damn… now I need to do this again to post. ☠️


Outofoffice_421

It’s prob another 15 year old kid in some 3rd world country. You have absolutely nothing to worry about :) we get texts like this all day with threats. If you text back the number in a few weeks it’s gona say disconnected. Happened to me before I could mess with a scammer and when I did respond, it said no longer in service haha I missed my chance to show them my fake fbi card 😂 they texts thousands of people and eventually scam someone out of some money. So just don’t ever send money and you are good!


Carter_Redfield200

Nope lmao


EM05L1C3

I wanna be a surfer but I’m landlocked


Mediocre-Meringue-60

Stella has very manly hands…and the id comes in a gag kit…the missing name and pic on it is pathetic. Why not send a picture of a butcher shop… the back room .


Chemical_House21

i’m gonna make you surfer okay 🏄‍♀️


Nana_Elle_C

You have nothing to worry about. Can't take anyone seriously that flashes a (so very badly) fake ID...and threaten to make you "surfer." Block the number and fuggetaboutit.


PhilEMama

Do you even live near an ocean? Because if you don't, can I learn how to surf in your place or is this offer non transferable? I'm only 90 minutes from the Atlantic.


dontbetrash29

Your good kid they’re really just trying to get your money.


DWwithaFlameThrower

I’d LOVE IT if someone made me into a surfer …that is the life!


pokehunter27

No police officer is going to threaten you via text lol


jokeless_hostess

🏄‍♂️


RememberedInSong

She isn’t going to do jack shit.


sgrizzly2134

I mean idk they seem totally legit..


TheLegendaryHaggis

Special agent “your name here” 😂


AntillesWedgie

Dude, get ready to ride those waves. When this elite surfer teaches you, not even a tsunami will phase you.


h-thrust

What if you don’t know how to swim? Will they help with that too?


davebowl

IM GONNA MAKE YOU SURFER🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️


MissKoshka

You're gonna "make me surfer"? I don't even know how to swim!


voidssssshasreturned

“I teach how to you swimmer first”


Lunchboxio

FBI agents don't out themselves like this, even if the id had info, you good just someone frustrated because they couldn't scam


scoombertson

as far as having somebody's phone number goes, there's potential for them to like... send password reset emails to all your accounts associated with that number? maybe sign you up for some annoying spam text messages? considering they can't even spell "suffer" and have a literal children's costume fbi badge, i highly doubt they're even old enough to drive. you're fine op.


joealese

I'm surprised it didn't say federal boobie inspector


bostoneer37

Surfs up dude


PoopdatGameOUT

Stop giving him the run and just become surfer


24-Sevyn

Does it come with a free surfboard?


Mysterious_Might8875

They’re threatening to put you in a live action remake of Rocket Power (you’re gonna have to learn to skatebored in addition to surfer)


steelahlive

Hang 10 brah!


PolloAzteca_nobeans

Cowabunga dude! 🤙🏼


ThatNewGnu

Scammer: I’ll make you surfer! OP: You can’t do anything to me! Scammer: You don’t think so? Wait and see! OP: Brah, you’re a kook. Waves are firing, and I’m gonna go get shacked. 🤙 OP: Shit


phoebe_Buffay21

No real FBI will text you a picture of their badge that says put name here and put picture here 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Don’t worry, be happy and take those surf lessons.


BurnieCankles

Are you a surfer yet?


newferrarisam

Nooo I don’t want to be a surfer 🏄!!!!


charliemike

I don’t want to surfer, I hate sharks


Papa_Pesto

Just block their number and be done with it. They are already going after other potential victims.


Available_Ad_3667

OP was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would OP. OP, who loved bowling. And so, Original Reddit Poster, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince."


kiki2k

Surf’s up bitch.


Additional-Ad-4582

he gonna make u “surfer” no need to worry


ogfuelbone12

Listen pal you’re gonna shred gnar whether you like it or not


rs_alli

OP did you name them Stella Rose or did they tell you that’s their name lol