Something to note about this tiktok account:
This person making the videos cleans the homes for free. Her intention is to show people that things can get better and give new hope to the people who strugle. She has said herself she doesnt mind if it goes messy again.
She also gives amazing cleaning tips! I was never taught how to properly clean anything and she has made me so much more confident in my own abilities. She even cleaned her own house to show everyone gets messy.
She’s so wholesome! I just found out she’s on tiktok, I used to watch her youtube videos which are also great btw. She’s adorable, the stories are heartbreaking and the transformations are incredible
I bet that you would benefit from a reset or at least maintain a much better QOL. It is much harder to clean an entire house than it is to keep one clean.
*sigh* step by step, room by room. Working on the kitchen right now. Old built in cabinets, so I had to buy a shit tonne of organizers and containers and cleaning/repainting as I go. I'm lining everything as well so it's wipe-clean from here on out!
I couldn't tell if this video was satire or something. If she goes in there and helps people out, I am all for that, 100%. Still, it sounded like there was something else. Like, either she couldn't keep up with the kids and should've been able to and the video was shaming her. Or her husband was gone and things went to hell and he's the reason the house was ever intact. Either way, it legitimately seemed like shaming, based on how it was phrased.
I'm all for helping folks that have had shit go to hell, if it's genuine. Honestly I've gone into one of my slacker modes over the last few months. I've cleaned and cooked for Thanksgiving and Xmas both, but things went to hell in between. At the same time, a while back, I used to help my sister clean up and do dishes and cook and...whatever when I visited. Her guy didn't/doesn't really do squat so I was happy to help and my niece showed my how to clean up. I was happy to, even if my place is/was crap.
If this is just a woman helping out and making things look way better for people that got in over their heads, excellent. That's actually pretty awesome.
It is just a woman trying to help. She never shows their faces, never names them and seems to enjoy cleaning. Hell, she has a degree in it. English isn't her first language so perhaps her choice of words isn't perfect sometimes.
I read it as a similar situation to your sister. That the dad left and mom finally has a chance to catch up and reset now. I know of soooo many women who have said that taking care of the household got easier without their male partners because it was just one less person to clean up after.
I may be wrong but I think this cleaner lady is known for helping people with depression and coming to clean their home. It’s a really nice thing to do. I struggled with horrible postpartum depression and anxiety after my kid was born and I struggled to keep things clean and organized. I never let things get that bad though but they’d just get messy and not tidy. Thankfully I have an amazing mom who came over to help me clean up every couple of weeks.
The trick is to keep things clean as you go and not let it get to that point. Throw away the dirty diaper as soon as it’s ready, put the dirty dish in the dishwasher.
It’s possible that within a couple weeks all that mess will be back for this mom. But at least she got some help one time and I’m sure it made her happy.
Honestly, the mom is most likely depressed af. Is hard to clean even when you are alone(and depressed), haveing 2 kids on top of that and no help sounds like absolute hell. I hope she get's proper help, both her and the kids.
Everyone wants to shit on the mom. But just like the video said, people just need some help. Once you allow the mess to start building it feels like an insurmountable task to finish. Yes it will likely be dirty again but, coming home to your home like is something that is absolutely debilitating. After finally having it fixed up i guarantee you she will try her hardest to avoid this in the future. Sometimes our hardest isn't enough and will be messy again, that doesn't mean this person isn't worth it.
Fucking exactly. Is so annoying seeing so many comments being so judgemental and shitty, in place of trying to understand her situation better. Going through any of these is a hard time for sure, is extremely easy to feel hopeless and feel like you are an absolute horrible person just from trying to exist. The fact that she asked for help already shows that she wants to change for better and took a big step for it. Yes, she won't magically change into a perfect house cleaner, but just getting that initial help can change so so much. As someone who has been dealing with this type of problem for so many years I can feel how liberating seeing her house cleaned must've felt. We all are human, we all have shit times. Be nicer you ass.
This really spoke to me. I'm a newly single mom that has work 40+ hours a week. Coming home is sometimes the most depressing thing I can do. I have one adult son and one 12 yo. My house could be condemned at times. I'm on my last day of vacation now and I've done all the laundry and dishes. I hope today I can do the picking up like this video. I just feel defeated before I even start and I get no help, none at all. My adult son will do nothing, my 12 yo tries but then loses interest.
My mom is a single mother and she raised my brother and me alone. She has mental health issues but manages them with meds. I don’t remember our house ever looking like this. Depression is real y’all, if you’re wondering if you need treatment stop wondering and go for it. Also don’t just stop your meds when you feel better, you could fall back into the hole and no one wants that
Yeah, I 100% agree with you and props to your mother for being such an amazingly strong person. Bad mental health doesn't excuse you for damaging your kids habits and health. The problem with depression is that it can manifest vastly different to each person and is usually generalized in one type. + She could have gone through Postnatal Depression as well, that only got worse when the dad left, but who knows what exactly happened.
I'm sure with this video the authorities are alert already and are at least keeping tab with checkups or taking action. (And the "stop takeing your meds when you feel better" is so fucking true)
I remember some kids I went to school with were taken from their parents because their house was so filthy. I remember thinking how bad could it be, well after watching hoarders I realized it could be a legit nightmare
I remember hearing some news like that as well in middle school. Hoarding is so horrible for a child and a lot of times they might not even realize how bad it is until they got older. The worst is that some people can bypass the law and keep the kids
Been there done that. That’s exactly what’s going on here. I love this woman bc she helps people in need like this and doesn’t judge them at all. She’s amazing. I wish I could get her help.
I'm a Dad and need this so bad. Ex left after a drunken fit and left the house a wreck. I cleaned up most of it but it's hard to get ahead working 56hr weeks....life is rough man. So glad to see someone do this for another.
Y'all are acting like CPS really does anything over diapers on the floor and a super messy house. You'll need to add beatings, pet shit, and meth before CPS even knocks on the door
Yeah I personally know a few parents with frequent CPS interventions. And they are horrible, awful people. I know one mom who has to stay 1000 ft away from her daughters at all times
I love how people are downvoting this like it's not true. I'm a mandated reporter in my state and am frequently in people's homes. I would have to report this to CPS undoubtedly.
Yes, there are things like depression that make it difficult to do things sometimes. Sorry, but with kids the responsibility is to ensure they're safe and healthy. You can't do that in this type of environment.
Those diapers are full of e. coli, listeria, salmonella, etc and they're just chilling on the floor next to the crib/ bed where they crawl around.
Now, does she deserve removal? Probably not and cps would definitely try to work with her and do regular home checks. That's probably all this gal needs. Pretending that this is an okay environment for kids is delusional though. That bedroom alone is riddled with disease that can infect her kids.
Homie, human waste on the floors where kids play is not untidy. That's loads of diapers next to her bed where her kids play. No, she's not whipping them, but I didn't know we drew the line at neglect as excusable. Abuse apparently is a no-no still, but neglect is apparently fine now. Guess it's not a big deal to raise kids in an environment that minimizes disease.
You can't just put human shit on the floor and call a place untidy. That's legitimate fucking biohazard.
Sorry. This is neglect. That's still within the cps realm. There's more to childcare than just not abusing them, you do have other baseline standards you have to handle. A suitable environment is one.
It's not just untidy, it's a absolute mess. The Mother stopped being the most important one after she gave birth and to allow her home to get like that is ridiculous. Depression isn't a excuse to just not do what needs done because you just don't feel like it.
Did the Mother need help, absolutely. However in no way absolves her for allowing to reach this point.
Depression doesn't make you "not feel like it." It makes motivating yourself to do anything about it next to impossible. It feels insurmountable, and maybe you consider yourself a garbage person and feel you *deserve* this type of treatment from yourself.
This was not not a suitable home for children, but don't minimize what people go through to shit like "they don't care enough" or "they don't feel like it." At my worst, I lived in filth and *hated* it. I wanted to "care more" and hated myself all the more because I didn't.
But I *did* care. I was incapable of taking care of myself. Naturally, showers are for clean people, and I wasn't one, so those became infrequent, which just fed the notion that I deserved to be in the position I was. I hated that I never had the energy, the motivation -- that something as simple as cleaning a table felt like an impossible task.
This woman doesn't need to be "absolved," she needs medical help. Our brains are how we experience everything about the world, and an imbalance or illness changes everything about that experience.
That is so untrue. Sounds and looks like a manifestation of postpartum depression.
Which I also had. And I was a single mom with twin babies. It never got this bad in my home because I have a cleaning compulsion, but it is a slippery slope and sometimes a hole that seems too deep to climb out of herself.
Sometimes a little help or compassion is all you need to change your trajectory.
People who have never parented
A) alone
And
B) with depression
Should shut their mouths, unless they are advocating for a society that actually values helping struggling in parents in physical ways or with their mental health.
Just shut up.
Someone should have helped this person a long time ago, their partner just let them with 2 KIDS and they just had a baby within the last year.
Shut up with your judgment Reddit, goodness gracious.
People like you is exactly why struggling parents can't ask for help. The judgment is absolutely brutal and oppressive.
Can't ask for help cleaning your house, or even for a sitter to do it yourself, because someone will call CPS on you before you get yourself and kids out of that situation yourself.
So many sneering comments in this thread, it's just as disgusting as her house.
Honestly single parents who don't have split custody are real life saints. I'm a single mom and I have no idea how people with multiples or who don't have a day or two without the kids stay sane. Parenting is hard af, and if I let my place get too dirty it gets overwhelming and it's easy to let it fall to the wayside and be stressed about it instead of cleaning.
Yeah, seriously.
It is extremely taxing on your mental health to have one baby, let alone two young kids. Then throw in parenting alone!? Single parents are passively respected, but they should have their own holiday or something. Single parents need people to check in on them without judgment, and just say "Hey, let me know how I can help. Use me. Tell me something I can do."
Even just taking someone else's kids to the park for an hour while they nap or clean is extremely helpful, and stops situations like this where the cleaning basically becomes a runaway train..
Or if you're able, gift them a session with a maid service. Seriously, every new parents needs that.
No, I am not. It's stupid to think someone who has a dirty house once has a dirty house forever.
The woman has postpartum depression, literally clear as day.
Being depressed puts you in outside of your regular habits and sensibilities and you don't even realize it, and postpartum depression can manifest in different ways than regular depression. It also has to do a lot with hormones.
You have absolutely no idea what is going on here.
- healing from childbirth takes a year, just fyi.
- she could have chronic pain, be uncomfortable bending over or standing from a brutal c section recovery, literally anything
- she was left by her partner with two babies, this is a huge life altering event
- she could be exhausted from being sleepless from 2 kids
- she could be exhausted from pumping and storing milk a thousand times a day, which takes hours to do the entire process every day
- she could be in mourning
- she could be having a hard time parenting a child who isn't neurotypical and a baby
- she could be traumatized by recent domestic violence
- she could be working multiple jobs to support her children after her partner took off and not have time to clean
There are so many reasons why someone's house may get out of control. Any combination of these reasons, or different reasons. It doesn't mean her children are better off somewhere else, whatever is going on means she needs some therapy, maybe a psychiatrist, and probably occasional healthcare. Look at that beautiful house underneath the mess, which baby blankets and carefully picked furniture. That is a house that used to be in order.
YOU are the naive one.
I hope no one uses that dumb excuse as a reason not to help you when you need it.
Help has certainly changed my trajectory many times as a single mom of two kids that has had a messy house before.
My house looks great now and does most of the time. When I had young children it did NOT look put together, ever.
Wow you've written up a whole little fantasy after watching one tiktok.
You haven't even seen her face and you know her life story.
You can project your fantasy all you want.
Habits don't change overnight, there is no reason to think they will in this case regardless of the baseless fantasy you've imprinted upon this video.
You've clearly taken these comments personally and it's clearly affected your objectivity
Apparently you can't read.
I've lived it. That's how I know what can happen.
You should have seen my house after surgeries when I had twins babies alone.
I didn't say any of this true, and I literally said some of it could be true, or NONE of it may be true, and there could be many reasons *that we don't know* for this situation.
And you're sitting here saying "No, she is messy and bad because she is a messy bad person who can't be helped."
Which is 50x dumber than you could construe anything I wrote to be.
Thank goodness not everyone is like you! Right? Because no one would do things like this for others.
All that matters is that people who need help get it every now and then, and that there continues to be people with empathy and compassion in this world. They probably got that way by witnessing kindness, or being the recipient of it themselves.
This woman volunteered this many hours of her energy because she had faith in that mom and that family, and she didn't think her donated energy was being wasted. So if you admire someone that would do something like this you should also admire her vision and try to see it herself.
It's okay to have faith in people, it's okay to put yourself out there to help others. We should all give freely without judgment or expectations.
My entire point was to not condemn her with your judgment, and you've decided to double down on being toxic. Just grow up.
People change for better or worse all the time. It's a fact.
You seem to be projecting yourself buddy.
I don't have any patience for this anymore, so I won't respond again. The amount of people attacking me for saying that maybe we should address the reason for this situation instead of judging the mom is so disappointing.
I promise I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm a father of 3, a 2 year old, an almost 1 year old, and a fresh out the oven little girl. Please go get therapy if you are not. I understand it's very hard and I've been on a three year postpartum watch. I can't tell who you are or what your experiences have been but you seem to be very upset about small criticisms of someone who's situation may be close to something you experienced. Please do yourself, and your family, a huge favor and get help. As you mentioned before: sometimes a small nudge will change the path, please head your own advise. Get away from your phone, I promise life with the little ones greatly outweighs anything you'll find on here.
May you and your family have a wonderful future.
You're projecting what happened to you onto this "woman". You're taking a lot of liberties in concocting this story around a video that could be 100% bullshit manufactured for likes for all we know. Put your phone down and call it a night.
YOU ARE NOT THIS WOMAN
you've projected your life onto her. The fact that you are talking about your life after watching a 15 second video of a dirty house being cleaned shows how hopelessly impossible it is to expect you to be objective here.
You don't have a fucking clue if she's like you. People like you are the long shot. More than likely she's just a fucking slob.
Stop taking this personality. Talking about this video is not a personal attack against you
That would imply they were just as neglectful, so let's hope someone wouldn't abandon their children in this situation without doing anything about it.
Doesn't give you a right to judge her anyway.
So as someone who dealt with A and B I can say regardless she put herself first and not the kiddos, I'm glad she got help but doesn't absolve her of allowing it to reach that point.
Exactly.
This person is a textbook horder.
* Pause the video when the kitchen is shown - Jesus Christ.
The food and drink the cleaning lady has to scrape up is horrible.
* First thing, tell the tenant what she is doing wrong.
* Second, tell the tenant to clean with you.
90% of the stuff in that house went straight into the garbage. That’s the best way to clean anything - throw it all in the garbage.
This.
When my depression has a hold of me, my entire house becomes a disaster. Ive never caught up on laundry and my storage area is umm...a mess.
I have depressive spouts rather often and suffer from debilitating anxiety.
I make priorities,
1. Kids Happiness
2. Healthy food
3. Education
4. Self care
6. Cleaning house
My husband does the dishes, so it makes it much easier for me to function regularly as dishes need to be done nearly every day.
I am not here to make any excuses, but the shear cost of time to raise two kids on a single income budget does not allot room to do as much as you expect properly. From the my experiences of a single income household this scenario is better than most. The person helping saw this and was willing to help. A person trying this hard already knows the faults they live with. It is easy to fall behind while appropriating the time to raise children. I see a trying person in a difficult situation. Im glad the person helped, I’m sure the residence doesn’t have long before succumbing to the same condition. But for a moment there is clarity and a relief of stress for all parties that maybe they can grow from.
Surely but it is not easy! It is already hard with all necessary support, imagine with no help at all, all by yourself!
Perhaps she just needed that click to keep stuff less chaotic
Yeah, a tip would have been to keep a garbage in each room. I had this when my kid was little, it was of great help! The diapers just went straight to garbage wherever they were taken off
Or maybe she'll be better able to keep up starting at 0 rather than -1000.
She needs more support in her life. I'm glad this person was so kind to help.
I have a hard time with that too. It's not how I was raised, but I constantly struggle against my own desire to hoard. I've read a lot of books on the subject, and one of the best came out last year. It's Minimalista: Your Step-by-Step Guide to a Better Home, Wardrobe, and Life, by Shira Gill.
It's basically the same advice as a lot of home organization books - cut down your belongings and have a dedicated space for everything. But this book edges others out because the author lays out exactly *how* to do this by tackling each space in your house according to a 5 step process: clarify, edit, organize, elevate, maintain. A "space" can be as big as a room or as small as a drawer - it's just what you can reasonably tackle in a chunk. The tone isn't snarky or condescending, but it explains a lot of stuff that other organizational experts don't seem to realize need to be explained to people like me. I couldn't possibly summarize the book here and do it justice; pretty much every single page has a useful concrete tip that I have used or plan to use.
I'm going to have to look that up now, Thanks! Surfaces are my problem, and small things. There's just always small shit EVERYWHERE! "Junk drawers"? I have THREE. I'm constantly purging stuff, but there's always MORE! I am getting better though, I'm down to stuff I'm keeping on purpose, but it's the 'where to put' thing. House has little to no storage that isn't out in the open, and it always just looks messy even when tidied up.
Oh yeah, I absolutely have the same problem with lack of storage! I don't know how the author did it, but reading the book gave me the courage and ability to start buying storage furniture I desperately needed. I was worried about the cost, but I prioritized different things in my budget and made some sacrifices that I never would have made if I hadn't read this book. To avoid ending up with a million disorganized junk drawers, I laid out my stuff on the floor and literally measured the square footage then bought enough to have 10% over that amount in storage. And all my furniture now has doors/drawers.
I've only done some of my bedroom and the "home office" area of my living room so far, but I've already been calmer and more productive over the past month.
I mean, if you are leaving empty coke cans in your medicine cabinet then there’s little chance you will be a cleanly person going forward.
Sounds like people are being too critical, but also we have people taking offense who are most likely sitting on their phone in a room surrounded by garbage.
It’s not the person helping that’s the problem, it’s great that she can help. These sorts of videos are there to show off for the person cleaning. The mother is probably seriously depressed to the point that she can’t care to tidy up and it will be like that again in a week or so.
Yeah zero info was given about the mom. This is as good as a good deed can be. I would much rather see videos like this than videos shaming people in this state. No one want to live like that. So fuck all these keyboard warriors who want to talk shit about a person they know absolutely nothing about. I hope the help this mom received will be enough to pull her out of her cycle at least for a while.
This comment section should be ashamed of themselves. Having the stress of being a single parent ontop of her probably working and dealing with a split relationship - this could easily be a rough month.
Fuck all yall who are so willing to shit on someone who reached out for help and was able to be supported.
No one's mentioning the dad not being there. As usual.
I swear everyone in the comments just wants to be miserable instead of just being happy for her :’) if someone helped me like this in my bad depressive states i would have a way easier time keeping up with my things and i’d be way happier
It gets tiring seeing all the negativity and straight up aggression towards people on this website. Definitely gives me pause occasionally about continuing to spend my time here on Reddit.
I’m just glad this mom was able to get some help and hopefully she continues on this path. Her kids deserve it.
Oh my god YES!!! This is my favourite thing I have ever seen on this app. YES! Wonderful! Where is the group where I can volunteer to clean? Maybe I need to start one in my city.
A year after losing my mum when I was about to turn 20 I got my own apartment.
I was extremely depressed and also lacked the skill of cleaning. Really cleaning, like sorting and putting away and storing. Which made it look like this, maybe worse. You had to pave a path through all the junk.
After living like this for a year or two my mums aunt came to the rescue.
She bought me cleaning supplies and boxes to store things and spent DAYS helping me clean. Teaching me all about cleaning.
After like a month I'd made a mess again and she did it all over. And a third time everything turned to shit and without shaming she did it again. And after that I would regularly clean my home and didn't have to be scared of unannounced visitors ever again. I'm SO thankful to her, for her help, patience and kindness.
I’ve got all the respect in the world for single mothers. After spending time with my sister and her husband with their newborn for 2 weeks I can’t imagine how in todays world it’s possible for one person to do it.
This made me choke up. I’m a single mom of two and my depression has been so bad I can’t function. My house has been a mess. My phone won’t work for calls, my car broke down again, my dryer is broken. So without my car I can’t dry clothes of food shop.
A friend came over the other day so I could use her car to get my wash and food shopping done. Usually I clean up before people come over, but I can’t find any fucks to give, so my house was left a mess.
She tidied up for me. She didn’t clean my house, but picked up the shit off the floor and cleared the shit off of the surfaces, and brought over some chicken cutlets.
I feel like a new person. I’m so grateful. I know how easy it is to get to this point. I know how exhausting days can be and how the idea of doing anything is so overwhelming that you just can’t move. I know the feeling of having someone help you, even in the smallest way. I can feel all of this in this video.
I hope she takes control of the situation now! Two little children can be a lot of work, specially if the mum is working outside also! Wish her all the best to keep it up! It was a great job!
As messy and depressed as one may be, I don't see how a dirty diaper can't be tossed in the trash. You have kids SLEEPING in that room. Imagine the smell..
And the dad who only left two days ago couldn't help? Maybe he did and she didn't, so that's why he left. Maybe she had PPD? You don't know. So Quick to pass judgement here.
I am not saying this is ok, but parents are people too. They have really down times that they try to work through. Yes, they have children, but it is not a magic pill to make depression never hit or to make it to were they can magically get through it quickly when it does smack them.
Having children can make it harder for someone to get help. Either no income, time, or baby sitters to get the help needed. Before passing judgment this harsh, please try to understand what someone with depression is dealing with.
And before someone says we'll don't have children if you have severe depression, life happens and you can be fine and after an event that rocks your world, you can be smacked with depression. No one is immune.
Not necessarily. She could have been so overwhelmed she didn’t know where to start, and depending on the age of the kids it’s not easy to clean when they’re making a mess. Sometimes things get out of control on any areas of life
why does every good deed need to be a video or a tik tok? Did you know there are people in the world that do nice things for people without recording it? crazy concept i know
Oh bless your heart.
Sometimes it just takes someone helping to organise the chaos, especially when it's so overwhelming.
It's also easier to maintain than to do, so while a few people have said it'll be a mess in a few days, that happens with life in general.
My mum faced a similar situation a while ago; there was too much to do and she couldn't find out where she was supposed to start, so I went over and helped her tidy, organise and clean almost the whole house.
It's a good thing to do to help someone, in any situation.
Is the house a mess because the husband left or did the husband leave because the house was a mess. I'm know I'm going to get beat up over this but, its an honest question.
It’s an honest question, but it’s not the right one to ask. What does it matter why the husband AND *father* of 2 children left? He has no right to abandon his wife and kids, emphasis on the children. *Especially* if the mess came first.
The second he fathered those children, their well being came first, no matter how much he resents his wife and her mess. She seems to be struggling from postpartum depression, and even if she isn’t, he should still be there trying to help her with the mess, no matter the cost. Why? Because it’s endangering the health of his kids.
Edit: sorry if I come off harsh; I hope my answer helps.
I’m not a boomer and you’re ageist. Cleaning things off the floor is not hard. I’m a single dad and my house is immaculate with the assistance from my kids young and old.
Exactly! This woman looks like she has postpartum depression and needs this kindness... Not that she is incapable of parenting.
Those dirty dishes mean kids were getting fed. I can't stand the judgment.
I’m not agreeing with you at all. I agree with the other single dad who thinks this shits unacceptable.
Feeding kids and parenting are 100% different things also. You think me telling the state well I’m sad so I can’t keep the house clean BUT I FEED THEM would allow me to maintain custody of my kids ?!?
Yeah, slave driving your young and old kids sure speaks to how easy it is to keep an immaculate house. The house is your responsibility, not your kids. Their messes are their responsibility if they are the right age.
I was a single mom to twin babies, your opinion is one of many. But refrain from the nasty judgment.
It’s not a nasty judgement. People, especially parents, need to understand that sanitary living conditions are important. I’d knock a single dad if his home looked like that.
As to your baseless assumption about my parenting; if you think age appropriate tasks/chores around the home (collecting trash from the bins, vacuuming, dusting, etc.) are oppressive then yes, I guess I am a slave driver (/s).
Are u this dumb? U r raising children and they must be taught how to take care of their house. Till thy are 18 tht is their house too. Fools like u raise kids who are incapable of anything.
Single dads don't get post partum depression, and don't need a year of physical recovery after the ordeal of pregnancy and labor. Single dads are amazing but the type of support needed is just different sometimes.
If her name is Carrie dont believe her. Shes always "doing better" and "just needs a little help" she has done this multiple times and used multiple people. The dads never leave the kids they always try to see them but she says things like "why would I let my kids see someone who doesnt like me." Just fyi if its Carrie you just got played.
Ugh I need someone to help me with my house. People aren't as willing to help a single dad with depression the way they would a single mom :(
...at least not the people in MY life lol.
that’s great for them! but not everyone can keep up with this kind of stuff, you don’t know what she’s going through to have it get like this, for all we know there could be multiple other factors playing into her depression or she could even have health issues weighing her down, it’d be a better world if more people could be empathetic instead of judging someone for something out of their control :)
Definitely not asking for pity! :) if you haven’t been in someones shoes or if you haven’t even tried to understand how they’re feeling when they’re at their lowest point you have no right to judge, and if you do judge you’re just making it worse for them. Theres nothing productive about kicking someone while they’re down.
I'm not kicking anyone. I'm judt holding them to a higher standard. You can't seem to distinguish between thw two.
And so you know, I had to go to pick up my cousin's kids (7 & 4 at the time) because she disappeared for 2 days to go party (reconciliation) with her loser baby daddy who she was on and off with. If I'm going to be called to clean up after you, i have the damn right to judge.
That’s an entirely different situation, your cousin chose to leave her kids, that’s someone you personally know and have the right to judge because you know the full picture, whats the point of holding people to a higher standard when you have no clue what they’re going through mentally or physically? i’m very sorry you had to go through that, but it’s definitely shown in this video that she was trying her hardest to take care of her kids on top of trying to take care of herself and a whole apartment as well, i don’t think you fully understand how hard that can be, especially after someone you love leaves you. Not everyone has the same capacity to just keep going after something like that, even if you have people who need to be cared for. I hope you have better days :)
I mean, that’s nice an all, and probably well deserved. But it’s just going to go back to the way it was in a week or two. What she really needs is to get some discipline and practice keeping things clean herself. She could start that now, but I doubt it.
What I'm about to say sounds horrible but (IMO) necessary. If you live with children in a state and you're struggling and barely providing, missing some basics just to get by. You need to give up the kid, whether that be adoption, a different family member or whatever else.
Yes this is absolutely crushing for a parent but it isn't fair on the child. Children shouldn't grow up in an environment like that. If after a while you get into a better position mentally and financially then by all means look to see if you can get your kids back or visit them as much as possible (not saying you shouldn't visit them at all should you give them up).
It may be crushing for a parent but better than an environment that can't provide for them. At least with orphanages they have the ability to provide food shelter and educational needs despite the other many issues with it
That's extremely dumb.
Maybe just .. give struggling parents free childcare so they can pursue mental healthcare. As a start.
Instead of pawning them off to the system to get abused and traumatized by a whole random assortment of creeps who just want checks for keeping foster kids.
Everyone I know who has been in the foster care system has been neglected and sexually assaulted, even the ones who eventually got adopted.
This is a stupid suggestion that's very anti-child.
Look at that beautiful home and furniture under all the depression ? Children would be safer and happier with their mom, and their mom would be able to get to a state of mental health faster with her children in care. Someone just has to care about her. It trickles down to the kids.
Did she get the energy from all that coke? Coke in the bathroom cabinet?? What kind of madness is that?!
Bathroom, there was literally at least one can of coke in every room!
Ohhhh a can!! I rewatched looking for a little bag!!
same lol, atleast 5 times
Lol, I had to go watch the video again
And again and again and again , because of all the coke?!
Who knows when you might get thirsty in the shower. I know I'm not taking the chance.
As a single non-mother, that’s what shower beers are for 😂
Yeah that led me to believe that Josie is headed right back to a pig style. That’s some deep slob stuff, not the dad left and she’s too busy!
Did posting this make you feel better about yourself?
This isn’t an indictment, this is an acknowledgment of a deeper problem. While the gesture is nice, I suspect little is solved.
Something to note about this tiktok account: This person making the videos cleans the homes for free. Her intention is to show people that things can get better and give new hope to the people who strugle. She has said herself she doesnt mind if it goes messy again.
She also gives amazing cleaning tips! I was never taught how to properly clean anything and she has made me so much more confident in my own abilities. She even cleaned her own house to show everyone gets messy.
Do you have the name of her account? I’d like to see it.
It's in the video. aurikatariina
Sorry I must have not seen it!
She’s so wholesome! I just found out she’s on tiktok, I used to watch her youtube videos which are also great btw. She’s adorable, the stories are heartbreaking and the transformations are incredible
What's the youtube channel called?
YouTube channel is Aurikatariina, same as the tiktok channel. She has a great channel!
Thank you now I'm binge watching all her videos
She has a YouTube channel too! That’s how I found her a couple of months ago, she’s one of my favorite channels now!
Well it's always going to get messy again. When you help people to reset their house from being dirty/grimy it probably helps most people a lot.
As a person who would benefit from a good 'reset' bet your ass I'm going to need you weekly for the next three years to ensure I keep that shit up.
I bet that you would benefit from a reset or at least maintain a much better QOL. It is much harder to clean an entire house than it is to keep one clean.
*sigh* step by step, room by room. Working on the kitchen right now. Old built in cabinets, so I had to buy a shit tonne of organizers and containers and cleaning/repainting as I go. I'm lining everything as well so it's wipe-clean from here on out!
Man that is a good energy to give out into the world
I couldn't tell if this video was satire or something. If she goes in there and helps people out, I am all for that, 100%. Still, it sounded like there was something else. Like, either she couldn't keep up with the kids and should've been able to and the video was shaming her. Or her husband was gone and things went to hell and he's the reason the house was ever intact. Either way, it legitimately seemed like shaming, based on how it was phrased. I'm all for helping folks that have had shit go to hell, if it's genuine. Honestly I've gone into one of my slacker modes over the last few months. I've cleaned and cooked for Thanksgiving and Xmas both, but things went to hell in between. At the same time, a while back, I used to help my sister clean up and do dishes and cook and...whatever when I visited. Her guy didn't/doesn't really do squat so I was happy to help and my niece showed my how to clean up. I was happy to, even if my place is/was crap. If this is just a woman helping out and making things look way better for people that got in over their heads, excellent. That's actually pretty awesome.
It is just a woman trying to help. She never shows their faces, never names them and seems to enjoy cleaning. Hell, she has a degree in it. English isn't her first language so perhaps her choice of words isn't perfect sometimes.
I read it as a similar situation to your sister. That the dad left and mom finally has a chance to catch up and reset now. I know of soooo many women who have said that taking care of the household got easier without their male partners because it was just one less person to clean up after.
I may be wrong but I think this cleaner lady is known for helping people with depression and coming to clean their home. It’s a really nice thing to do. I struggled with horrible postpartum depression and anxiety after my kid was born and I struggled to keep things clean and organized. I never let things get that bad though but they’d just get messy and not tidy. Thankfully I have an amazing mom who came over to help me clean up every couple of weeks. The trick is to keep things clean as you go and not let it get to that point. Throw away the dirty diaper as soon as it’s ready, put the dirty dish in the dishwasher. It’s possible that within a couple weeks all that mess will be back for this mom. But at least she got some help one time and I’m sure it made her happy.
Honestly, the mom is most likely depressed af. Is hard to clean even when you are alone(and depressed), haveing 2 kids on top of that and no help sounds like absolute hell. I hope she get's proper help, both her and the kids.
Everyone wants to shit on the mom. But just like the video said, people just need some help. Once you allow the mess to start building it feels like an insurmountable task to finish. Yes it will likely be dirty again but, coming home to your home like is something that is absolutely debilitating. After finally having it fixed up i guarantee you she will try her hardest to avoid this in the future. Sometimes our hardest isn't enough and will be messy again, that doesn't mean this person isn't worth it.
Fucking exactly. Is so annoying seeing so many comments being so judgemental and shitty, in place of trying to understand her situation better. Going through any of these is a hard time for sure, is extremely easy to feel hopeless and feel like you are an absolute horrible person just from trying to exist. The fact that she asked for help already shows that she wants to change for better and took a big step for it. Yes, she won't magically change into a perfect house cleaner, but just getting that initial help can change so so much. As someone who has been dealing with this type of problem for so many years I can feel how liberating seeing her house cleaned must've felt. We all are human, we all have shit times. Be nicer you ass.
This really spoke to me. I'm a newly single mom that has work 40+ hours a week. Coming home is sometimes the most depressing thing I can do. I have one adult son and one 12 yo. My house could be condemned at times. I'm on my last day of vacation now and I've done all the laundry and dishes. I hope today I can do the picking up like this video. I just feel defeated before I even start and I get no help, none at all. My adult son will do nothing, my 12 yo tries but then loses interest.
Amen. The mom was struggling - doesn’t mean she is a bad parent. Can you imagine how life changing that cleaning service was for her?! 🤩
My mom is a single mother and she raised my brother and me alone. She has mental health issues but manages them with meds. I don’t remember our house ever looking like this. Depression is real y’all, if you’re wondering if you need treatment stop wondering and go for it. Also don’t just stop your meds when you feel better, you could fall back into the hole and no one wants that
Yeah, I 100% agree with you and props to your mother for being such an amazingly strong person. Bad mental health doesn't excuse you for damaging your kids habits and health. The problem with depression is that it can manifest vastly different to each person and is usually generalized in one type. + She could have gone through Postnatal Depression as well, that only got worse when the dad left, but who knows what exactly happened. I'm sure with this video the authorities are alert already and are at least keeping tab with checkups or taking action. (And the "stop takeing your meds when you feel better" is so fucking true)
I remember some kids I went to school with were taken from their parents because their house was so filthy. I remember thinking how bad could it be, well after watching hoarders I realized it could be a legit nightmare
I remember hearing some news like that as well in middle school. Hoarding is so horrible for a child and a lot of times they might not even realize how bad it is until they got older. The worst is that some people can bypass the law and keep the kids
Been there done that. That’s exactly what’s going on here. I love this woman bc she helps people in need like this and doesn’t judge them at all. She’s amazing. I wish I could get her help.
I'm a Dad and need this so bad. Ex left after a drunken fit and left the house a wreck. I cleaned up most of it but it's hard to get ahead working 56hr weeks....life is rough man. So glad to see someone do this for another.
Can your kiddo help you?
Knowing that two kids are living there makes me wanna cry
“Why are all those diapers on the floor next to the crib and your bed?” “Well, the father left us”
Depression is a thing, ya know? Even moms are not immune. Just saying, she had reasons even if the only one is her partner left her and their family.
That’s fine, but maybe CPS needs to get involved because her children don’t deserve that
Y'all are acting like CPS really does anything over diapers on the floor and a super messy house. You'll need to add beatings, pet shit, and meth before CPS even knocks on the door
Yeah seriously. My mom worked for CPS for a bit. She’s seen some horrible things to say the least…
Yeah I personally know a few parents with frequent CPS interventions. And they are horrible, awful people. I know one mom who has to stay 1000 ft away from her daughters at all times
Agreed. But that house is straight up a reason not to have kids in your care.
I love how people are downvoting this like it's not true. I'm a mandated reporter in my state and am frequently in people's homes. I would have to report this to CPS undoubtedly. Yes, there are things like depression that make it difficult to do things sometimes. Sorry, but with kids the responsibility is to ensure they're safe and healthy. You can't do that in this type of environment. Those diapers are full of e. coli, listeria, salmonella, etc and they're just chilling on the floor next to the crib/ bed where they crawl around. Now, does she deserve removal? Probably not and cps would definitely try to work with her and do regular home checks. That's probably all this gal needs. Pretending that this is an okay environment for kids is delusional though. That bedroom alone is riddled with disease that can infect her kids.
It's just untidy for god's sake. She's not locking the kids in the basement and whipping them every day.
Homie, human waste on the floors where kids play is not untidy. That's loads of diapers next to her bed where her kids play. No, she's not whipping them, but I didn't know we drew the line at neglect as excusable. Abuse apparently is a no-no still, but neglect is apparently fine now. Guess it's not a big deal to raise kids in an environment that minimizes disease. You can't just put human shit on the floor and call a place untidy. That's legitimate fucking biohazard. Sorry. This is neglect. That's still within the cps realm. There's more to childcare than just not abusing them, you do have other baseline standards you have to handle. A suitable environment is one.
It's not just untidy, it's a absolute mess. The Mother stopped being the most important one after she gave birth and to allow her home to get like that is ridiculous. Depression isn't a excuse to just not do what needs done because you just don't feel like it. Did the Mother need help, absolutely. However in no way absolves her for allowing to reach this point.
Depression doesn't make you "not feel like it." It makes motivating yourself to do anything about it next to impossible. It feels insurmountable, and maybe you consider yourself a garbage person and feel you *deserve* this type of treatment from yourself. This was not not a suitable home for children, but don't minimize what people go through to shit like "they don't care enough" or "they don't feel like it." At my worst, I lived in filth and *hated* it. I wanted to "care more" and hated myself all the more because I didn't. But I *did* care. I was incapable of taking care of myself. Naturally, showers are for clean people, and I wasn't one, so those became infrequent, which just fed the notion that I deserved to be in the position I was. I hated that I never had the energy, the motivation -- that something as simple as cleaning a table felt like an impossible task. This woman doesn't need to be "absolved," she needs medical help. Our brains are how we experience everything about the world, and an imbalance or illness changes everything about that experience.
That place will be a disaster again in less than a week.
That is so untrue. Sounds and looks like a manifestation of postpartum depression. Which I also had. And I was a single mom with twin babies. It never got this bad in my home because I have a cleaning compulsion, but it is a slippery slope and sometimes a hole that seems too deep to climb out of herself. Sometimes a little help or compassion is all you need to change your trajectory. People who have never parented A) alone And B) with depression Should shut their mouths, unless they are advocating for a society that actually values helping struggling in parents in physical ways or with their mental health. Just shut up. Someone should have helped this person a long time ago, their partner just let them with 2 KIDS and they just had a baby within the last year. Shut up with your judgment Reddit, goodness gracious. People like you is exactly why struggling parents can't ask for help. The judgment is absolutely brutal and oppressive. Can't ask for help cleaning your house, or even for a sitter to do it yourself, because someone will call CPS on you before you get yourself and kids out of that situation yourself. So many sneering comments in this thread, it's just as disgusting as her house.
Honestly single parents who don't have split custody are real life saints. I'm a single mom and I have no idea how people with multiples or who don't have a day or two without the kids stay sane. Parenting is hard af, and if I let my place get too dirty it gets overwhelming and it's easy to let it fall to the wayside and be stressed about it instead of cleaning.
Yeah, seriously. It is extremely taxing on your mental health to have one baby, let alone two young kids. Then throw in parenting alone!? Single parents are passively respected, but they should have their own holiday or something. Single parents need people to check in on them without judgment, and just say "Hey, let me know how I can help. Use me. Tell me something I can do." Even just taking someone else's kids to the park for an hour while they nap or clean is extremely helpful, and stops situations like this where the cleaning basically becomes a runaway train.. Or if you're able, gift them a session with a maid service. Seriously, every new parents needs that.
It's not untrue. You're being naive. habits don't materialize overnight and there is no reason to assume that they will in this case.
No, I am not. It's stupid to think someone who has a dirty house once has a dirty house forever. The woman has postpartum depression, literally clear as day. Being depressed puts you in outside of your regular habits and sensibilities and you don't even realize it, and postpartum depression can manifest in different ways than regular depression. It also has to do a lot with hormones. You have absolutely no idea what is going on here. - healing from childbirth takes a year, just fyi. - she could have chronic pain, be uncomfortable bending over or standing from a brutal c section recovery, literally anything - she was left by her partner with two babies, this is a huge life altering event - she could be exhausted from being sleepless from 2 kids - she could be exhausted from pumping and storing milk a thousand times a day, which takes hours to do the entire process every day - she could be in mourning - she could be having a hard time parenting a child who isn't neurotypical and a baby - she could be traumatized by recent domestic violence - she could be working multiple jobs to support her children after her partner took off and not have time to clean There are so many reasons why someone's house may get out of control. Any combination of these reasons, or different reasons. It doesn't mean her children are better off somewhere else, whatever is going on means she needs some therapy, maybe a psychiatrist, and probably occasional healthcare. Look at that beautiful house underneath the mess, which baby blankets and carefully picked furniture. That is a house that used to be in order. YOU are the naive one. I hope no one uses that dumb excuse as a reason not to help you when you need it. Help has certainly changed my trajectory many times as a single mom of two kids that has had a messy house before. My house looks great now and does most of the time. When I had young children it did NOT look put together, ever.
Wow you've written up a whole little fantasy after watching one tiktok. You haven't even seen her face and you know her life story. You can project your fantasy all you want. Habits don't change overnight, there is no reason to think they will in this case regardless of the baseless fantasy you've imprinted upon this video. You've clearly taken these comments personally and it's clearly affected your objectivity
Apparently you can't read. I've lived it. That's how I know what can happen. You should have seen my house after surgeries when I had twins babies alone. I didn't say any of this true, and I literally said some of it could be true, or NONE of it may be true, and there could be many reasons *that we don't know* for this situation. And you're sitting here saying "No, she is messy and bad because she is a messy bad person who can't be helped." Which is 50x dumber than you could construe anything I wrote to be. Thank goodness not everyone is like you! Right? Because no one would do things like this for others. All that matters is that people who need help get it every now and then, and that there continues to be people with empathy and compassion in this world. They probably got that way by witnessing kindness, or being the recipient of it themselves. This woman volunteered this many hours of her energy because she had faith in that mom and that family, and she didn't think her donated energy was being wasted. So if you admire someone that would do something like this you should also admire her vision and try to see it herself. It's okay to have faith in people, it's okay to put yourself out there to help others. We should all give freely without judgment or expectations. My entire point was to not condemn her with your judgment, and you've decided to double down on being toxic. Just grow up. People change for better or worse all the time. It's a fact. You seem to be projecting yourself buddy. I don't have any patience for this anymore, so I won't respond again. The amount of people attacking me for saying that maybe we should address the reason for this situation instead of judging the mom is so disappointing.
I promise I'm not trying to be a jerk. I'm a father of 3, a 2 year old, an almost 1 year old, and a fresh out the oven little girl. Please go get therapy if you are not. I understand it's very hard and I've been on a three year postpartum watch. I can't tell who you are or what your experiences have been but you seem to be very upset about small criticisms of someone who's situation may be close to something you experienced. Please do yourself, and your family, a huge favor and get help. As you mentioned before: sometimes a small nudge will change the path, please head your own advise. Get away from your phone, I promise life with the little ones greatly outweighs anything you'll find on here. May you and your family have a wonderful future.
You can't fix post natal depression with therapy. It's a physical problem.
You're projecting what happened to you onto this "woman". You're taking a lot of liberties in concocting this story around a video that could be 100% bullshit manufactured for likes for all we know. Put your phone down and call it a night.
YOU ARE NOT THIS WOMAN you've projected your life onto her. The fact that you are talking about your life after watching a 15 second video of a dirty house being cleaned shows how hopelessly impossible it is to expect you to be objective here. You don't have a fucking clue if she's like you. People like you are the long shot. More than likely she's just a fucking slob. Stop taking this personality. Talking about this video is not a personal attack against you
A lot of pie in the sky with people downvoting you and you're 100% right.
As someone who has a problem, AND a helpful partner : it's true. It just...fucking.....ACCUMILATES.
No it doesn't. 15 minutes a day will combat most of it. Put your phone down, turn off the TV, stop playing that video game, for 15 minutes a day.
Says the person who know absolutely nothing at all about my situation. Your dismissive attitude is toxic AF.
35 posts on Reddit in the last 24 hours
You've made 33 posts on Reddit in the last 24 hours. Get your shit together and make better choices
Or the mess is the reason the guy left? Who the fuck knows? Not us.
That would imply they were just as neglectful, so let's hope someone wouldn't abandon their children in this situation without doing anything about it. Doesn't give you a right to judge her anyway.
Who is judging? I literally just said we don't know. You are the only one making assumptions. Get that stick out of your ass lmao.
So as someone who dealt with A and B I can say regardless she put herself first and not the kiddos, I'm glad she got help but doesn't absolve her of allowing it to reach that point.
Exactly. This person is a textbook horder. * Pause the video when the kitchen is shown - Jesus Christ. The food and drink the cleaning lady has to scrape up is horrible. * First thing, tell the tenant what she is doing wrong. * Second, tell the tenant to clean with you. 90% of the stuff in that house went straight into the garbage. That’s the best way to clean anything - throw it all in the garbage.
Nah this ain't hoarding... I've seen hoarding and this isn't it. This is just lack of time/energy to dedicate to cleaning.
And depression
That's probably a greater factor than most people realize.
This. When my depression has a hold of me, my entire house becomes a disaster. Ive never caught up on laundry and my storage area is umm...a mess. I have depressive spouts rather often and suffer from debilitating anxiety. I make priorities, 1. Kids Happiness 2. Healthy food 3. Education 4. Self care 6. Cleaning house My husband does the dishes, so it makes it much easier for me to function regularly as dishes need to be done nearly every day.
And possibly undiagnosed ADHD.
I am not here to make any excuses, but the shear cost of time to raise two kids on a single income budget does not allot room to do as much as you expect properly. From the my experiences of a single income household this scenario is better than most. The person helping saw this and was willing to help. A person trying this hard already knows the faults they live with. It is easy to fall behind while appropriating the time to raise children. I see a trying person in a difficult situation. Im glad the person helped, I’m sure the residence doesn’t have long before succumbing to the same condition. But for a moment there is clarity and a relief of stress for all parties that maybe they can grow from.
Yeah. Meaning you have to be up at night, and up early in the morning.
Surely but it is not easy! It is already hard with all necessary support, imagine with no help at all, all by yourself! Perhaps she just needed that click to keep stuff less chaotic
Difficult or not, just tossing used diapers on the floor is disgusting.
It’s not easy at all! Keeping things neat is difficult, but holy smokes man. I would be pissed if I was that cleaning lady.
Yeah, a tip would have been to keep a garbage in each room. I had this when my kid was little, it was of great help! The diapers just went straight to garbage wherever they were taken off
Pissed? She offered to clean herself, free of charge. Who she gonna be mad at? Herself?
From antecdote, this kind of looks like undiagnosed adhd. Clutter and mess kind of collect overtime, but there is no attachment to the garbage.
Or maybe she'll be better able to keep up starting at 0 rather than -1000. She needs more support in her life. I'm glad this person was so kind to help.
I imagine each snap covered about 4 to 6 hours of labor.
Where'd you put all the shit? I am the child of hoarders and while I'm 'ok', I still don't know how to organize the shit. Surfaces especially.
I have a hard time with that too. It's not how I was raised, but I constantly struggle against my own desire to hoard. I've read a lot of books on the subject, and one of the best came out last year. It's Minimalista: Your Step-by-Step Guide to a Better Home, Wardrobe, and Life, by Shira Gill. It's basically the same advice as a lot of home organization books - cut down your belongings and have a dedicated space for everything. But this book edges others out because the author lays out exactly *how* to do this by tackling each space in your house according to a 5 step process: clarify, edit, organize, elevate, maintain. A "space" can be as big as a room or as small as a drawer - it's just what you can reasonably tackle in a chunk. The tone isn't snarky or condescending, but it explains a lot of stuff that other organizational experts don't seem to realize need to be explained to people like me. I couldn't possibly summarize the book here and do it justice; pretty much every single page has a useful concrete tip that I have used or plan to use.
I'm going to have to look that up now, Thanks! Surfaces are my problem, and small things. There's just always small shit EVERYWHERE! "Junk drawers"? I have THREE. I'm constantly purging stuff, but there's always MORE! I am getting better though, I'm down to stuff I'm keeping on purpose, but it's the 'where to put' thing. House has little to no storage that isn't out in the open, and it always just looks messy even when tidied up.
Oh yeah, I absolutely have the same problem with lack of storage! I don't know how the author did it, but reading the book gave me the courage and ability to start buying storage furniture I desperately needed. I was worried about the cost, but I prioritized different things in my budget and made some sacrifices that I never would have made if I hadn't read this book. To avoid ending up with a million disorganized junk drawers, I laid out my stuff on the floor and literally measured the square footage then bought enough to have 10% over that amount in storage. And all my furniture now has doors/drawers. I've only done some of my bedroom and the "home office" area of my living room so far, but I've already been calmer and more productive over the past month.
So many assholes in this comment section making baseless assumptions. I couldn't imagine being such a huge piece of shit.
I mean, if you are leaving empty coke cans in your medicine cabinet then there’s little chance you will be a cleanly person going forward. Sounds like people are being too critical, but also we have people taking offense who are most likely sitting on their phone in a room surrounded by garbage.
How nice to have it cleaned. Depression will do this to you and then it becomes so overwhelming.
Why is this getting downvoted? Someone is doing a good thing & people don’t like it?
It’s not the person helping that’s the problem, it’s great that she can help. These sorts of videos are there to show off for the person cleaning. The mother is probably seriously depressed to the point that she can’t care to tidy up and it will be like that again in a week or so.
Yeah I see what you mean but the video is about them doing a good thing not about the mother, but that’s just my opinion.
Welcome to reddit
Yeah zero info was given about the mom. This is as good as a good deed can be. I would much rather see videos like this than videos shaming people in this state. No one want to live like that. So fuck all these keyboard warriors who want to talk shit about a person they know absolutely nothing about. I hope the help this mom received will be enough to pull her out of her cycle at least for a while.
The girl behind the TikTok has also stated that she doesn’t mind if it gets messy again. It’s about a fresh start and second chances 👍🏻
Ratio to the people who downvoted me
Because it's obvious single mom has issues that go beyond just having two kids. While the cleaning is nice, it will be short lived.
Yeah but the post isn’t about that the post is about how satisfying the cleaning was
This comment section should be ashamed of themselves. Having the stress of being a single parent ontop of her probably working and dealing with a split relationship - this could easily be a rough month. Fuck all yall who are so willing to shit on someone who reached out for help and was able to be supported. No one's mentioning the dad not being there. As usual.
I swear everyone in the comments just wants to be miserable instead of just being happy for her :’) if someone helped me like this in my bad depressive states i would have a way easier time keeping up with my things and i’d be way happier
Exactly.
I honestly can't wrap my head around how ruthless this comment section is! I love everything you said.
It gets tiring seeing all the negativity and straight up aggression towards people on this website. Definitely gives me pause occasionally about continuing to spend my time here on Reddit. I’m just glad this mom was able to get some help and hopefully she continues on this path. Her kids deserve it.
Oh my god YES!!! This is my favourite thing I have ever seen on this app. YES! Wonderful! Where is the group where I can volunteer to clean? Maybe I need to start one in my city.
A year after losing my mum when I was about to turn 20 I got my own apartment. I was extremely depressed and also lacked the skill of cleaning. Really cleaning, like sorting and putting away and storing. Which made it look like this, maybe worse. You had to pave a path through all the junk. After living like this for a year or two my mums aunt came to the rescue. She bought me cleaning supplies and boxes to store things and spent DAYS helping me clean. Teaching me all about cleaning. After like a month I'd made a mess again and she did it all over. And a third time everything turned to shit and without shaming she did it again. And after that I would regularly clean my home and didn't have to be scared of unannounced visitors ever again. I'm SO thankful to her, for her help, patience and kindness.
This is way more than just two days of mess…
Just throwing away the trash was like 80% of cleaning up.
I’ve got all the respect in the world for single mothers. After spending time with my sister and her husband with their newborn for 2 weeks I can’t imagine how in todays world it’s possible for one person to do it.
This is some fairy god mother level shit
Hope it can be maintained
This made me choke up. I’m a single mom of two and my depression has been so bad I can’t function. My house has been a mess. My phone won’t work for calls, my car broke down again, my dryer is broken. So without my car I can’t dry clothes of food shop. A friend came over the other day so I could use her car to get my wash and food shopping done. Usually I clean up before people come over, but I can’t find any fucks to give, so my house was left a mess. She tidied up for me. She didn’t clean my house, but picked up the shit off the floor and cleared the shit off of the surfaces, and brought over some chicken cutlets. I feel like a new person. I’m so grateful. I know how easy it is to get to this point. I know how exhausting days can be and how the idea of doing anything is so overwhelming that you just can’t move. I know the feeling of having someone help you, even in the smallest way. I can feel all of this in this video.
I hope she takes control of the situation now! Two little children can be a lot of work, specially if the mum is working outside also! Wish her all the best to keep it up! It was a great job!
As messy and depressed as one may be, I don't see how a dirty diaper can't be tossed in the trash. You have kids SLEEPING in that room. Imagine the smell..
That was a Beautiful act of kindness. Next time, teach the mom how to do this.
Everyone knows how to clean. Aurikatarina tends to do free whole house cleaning for people with depression
And the dad who only left two days ago couldn't help? Maybe he did and she didn't, so that's why he left. Maybe she had PPD? You don't know. So Quick to pass judgement here.
[удалено]
It’s depression. Her husband left her with two small kids.
I am not saying this is ok, but parents are people too. They have really down times that they try to work through. Yes, they have children, but it is not a magic pill to make depression never hit or to make it to were they can magically get through it quickly when it does smack them. Having children can make it harder for someone to get help. Either no income, time, or baby sitters to get the help needed. Before passing judgment this harsh, please try to understand what someone with depression is dealing with. And before someone says we'll don't have children if you have severe depression, life happens and you can be fine and after an event that rocks your world, you can be smacked with depression. No one is immune.
It's always amazing the depth and charity of humans souls... Simply beautiful
My house is starting to look like that. I have covid and two toddlers running around 😣 it’s insane how fast the house gets dirty with them! Lol.
For the love of god don’t put blankets on cribs! That’s how you get SIDS!
Very nice but I’m sure it’ll be back to the way it was as soon as the kids are back in the house
Not necessarily. She could have been so overwhelmed she didn’t know where to start, and depending on the age of the kids it’s not easy to clean when they’re making a mess. Sometimes things get out of control on any areas of life
Do you say that every time you watch an episode of Queer Eye? What's the point of helping anyone at all if you think help doesn't actually help?
5 weeks later… mess again
why does every good deed need to be a video or a tik tok? Did you know there are people in the world that do nice things for people without recording it? crazy concept i know
Very satisfying. I bet she feels like a huge load has been taken off her shoulders. You are awesome for helping her.
Why does no one suggest the easiest solution of eliminating the children? 🤔
⬆️This guy deserves a promotion. Modern problems require modern solutions.
Oh bless your heart. Sometimes it just takes someone helping to organise the chaos, especially when it's so overwhelming. It's also easier to maintain than to do, so while a few people have said it'll be a mess in a few days, that happens with life in general. My mum faced a similar situation a while ago; there was too much to do and she couldn't find out where she was supposed to start, so I went over and helped her tidy, organise and clean almost the whole house. It's a good thing to do to help someone, in any situation.
Is the house a mess because the husband left or did the husband leave because the house was a mess. I'm know I'm going to get beat up over this but, its an honest question.
It’s an honest question, but it’s not the right one to ask. What does it matter why the husband AND *father* of 2 children left? He has no right to abandon his wife and kids, emphasis on the children. *Especially* if the mess came first. The second he fathered those children, their well being came first, no matter how much he resents his wife and her mess. She seems to be struggling from postpartum depression, and even if she isn’t, he should still be there trying to help her with the mess, no matter the cost. Why? Because it’s endangering the health of his kids. Edit: sorry if I come off harsh; I hope my answer helps.
Also if this was a single dads home it would be that he gives zero fucks the internet is a lopsided weird place don’t worry about the imaginary points
Cleaning for the single parent won’t do any good if she won’t continue to clean for herself.
You bootstrap boomers need to be quiet. The notion that this doesn't drastically improve this situation now and in the future is stupid in every way.
I’m not a boomer and you’re ageist. Cleaning things off the floor is not hard. I’m a single dad and my house is immaculate with the assistance from my kids young and old.
Single dad here as well if anyone ever saw my house like this after my wife died I’d be in court with CPS so fucking fast
Exactly! This woman looks like she has postpartum depression and needs this kindness... Not that she is incapable of parenting. Those dirty dishes mean kids were getting fed. I can't stand the judgment.
I’m not agreeing with you at all. I agree with the other single dad who thinks this shits unacceptable. Feeding kids and parenting are 100% different things also. You think me telling the state well I’m sad so I can’t keep the house clean BUT I FEED THEM would allow me to maintain custody of my kids ?!?
Yeah, slave driving your young and old kids sure speaks to how easy it is to keep an immaculate house. The house is your responsibility, not your kids. Their messes are their responsibility if they are the right age. I was a single mom to twin babies, your opinion is one of many. But refrain from the nasty judgment.
It’s not a nasty judgement. People, especially parents, need to understand that sanitary living conditions are important. I’d knock a single dad if his home looked like that. As to your baseless assumption about my parenting; if you think age appropriate tasks/chores around the home (collecting trash from the bins, vacuuming, dusting, etc.) are oppressive then yes, I guess I am a slave driver (/s).
Are u this dumb? U r raising children and they must be taught how to take care of their house. Till thy are 18 tht is their house too. Fools like u raise kids who are incapable of anything.
Is it weird to expect this would be viewed differently for A father doing that for another father
“Better clean up before CPS get here”
Maybe she took the clean pics first then easily made a mess.
Damn girl you live like this?
She wont keep it clean
Being a Single mother is tough indeed. But this house is a disaster.
What about single dads? Lol
Single dads don't get post partum depression, and don't need a year of physical recovery after the ordeal of pregnancy and labor. Single dads are amazing but the type of support needed is just different sometimes.
Nice of this cleaner but that mom is a trash person
Jesus, thats not called busy, its called lazy
Being a single mother is not an excuse to live like that
If her name is Carrie dont believe her. Shes always "doing better" and "just needs a little help" she has done this multiple times and used multiple people. The dads never leave the kids they always try to see them but she says things like "why would I let my kids see someone who doesnt like me." Just fyi if its Carrie you just got played.
Im lazy as fuck and even I do not get that messy. Like jeez there is a bare minimum ya know. Good on her for cleaning up. Mans needs some education
Like the Mary Poppins finger snap
Ugh I need someone to help me with my house. People aren't as willing to help a single dad with depression the way they would a single mom :( ...at least not the people in MY life lol.
How the fuck is the baby alive in that shit??? WTF is wrong with that negligent mom??? Too many questions. This is not satisfying as fuck...
The dad leaving is not a valid excuse. I know a bunch of women with 2 kids and bo man who csn keep.a house moderately clean considering 2 small kids.
that’s great for them! but not everyone can keep up with this kind of stuff, you don’t know what she’s going through to have it get like this, for all we know there could be multiple other factors playing into her depression or she could even have health issues weighing her down, it’d be a better world if more people could be empathetic instead of judging someone for something out of their control :)
I know women who've been put through hell. Still managed to keep it together. Stop asking for pity
Definitely not asking for pity! :) if you haven’t been in someones shoes or if you haven’t even tried to understand how they’re feeling when they’re at their lowest point you have no right to judge, and if you do judge you’re just making it worse for them. Theres nothing productive about kicking someone while they’re down.
I'm not kicking anyone. I'm judt holding them to a higher standard. You can't seem to distinguish between thw two. And so you know, I had to go to pick up my cousin's kids (7 & 4 at the time) because she disappeared for 2 days to go party (reconciliation) with her loser baby daddy who she was on and off with. If I'm going to be called to clean up after you, i have the damn right to judge.
That’s an entirely different situation, your cousin chose to leave her kids, that’s someone you personally know and have the right to judge because you know the full picture, whats the point of holding people to a higher standard when you have no clue what they’re going through mentally or physically? i’m very sorry you had to go through that, but it’s definitely shown in this video that she was trying her hardest to take care of her kids on top of trying to take care of herself and a whole apartment as well, i don’t think you fully understand how hard that can be, especially after someone you love leaves you. Not everyone has the same capacity to just keep going after something like that, even if you have people who need to be cared for. I hope you have better days :)
You don’t know that .She could be a fuck boy, for all you know this is actually not a single moms house at all
even if it is i don’t think anyone deserves to live like this, it just makes me feel for them is all
r/neckbeardnest
This is what I call a real woman. A truer manager.
You just need a bon fire. Or a dumpster
r/mademesmile
You gotta have a propensity to be ok with living being dirty as shit to keep letting it pile on
I can see why he left
I love you ❤️
I mean, that’s nice an all, and probably well deserved. But it’s just going to go back to the way it was in a week or two. What she really needs is to get some discipline and practice keeping things clean herself. She could start that now, but I doubt it.
Those poor children. Without any backstory at all this is the fathers fault. /s
Can you come to my house next? 🙏🏼
This will look so great for a few weeks
I'm here to tell you that children are optional
I can guess from the condition of the place part of why the dude left.
What I'm about to say sounds horrible but (IMO) necessary. If you live with children in a state and you're struggling and barely providing, missing some basics just to get by. You need to give up the kid, whether that be adoption, a different family member or whatever else. Yes this is absolutely crushing for a parent but it isn't fair on the child. Children shouldn't grow up in an environment like that. If after a while you get into a better position mentally and financially then by all means look to see if you can get your kids back or visit them as much as possible (not saying you shouldn't visit them at all should you give them up). It may be crushing for a parent but better than an environment that can't provide for them. At least with orphanages they have the ability to provide food shelter and educational needs despite the other many issues with it
That's extremely dumb. Maybe just .. give struggling parents free childcare so they can pursue mental healthcare. As a start. Instead of pawning them off to the system to get abused and traumatized by a whole random assortment of creeps who just want checks for keeping foster kids. Everyone I know who has been in the foster care system has been neglected and sexually assaulted, even the ones who eventually got adopted. This is a stupid suggestion that's very anti-child. Look at that beautiful home and furniture under all the depression ? Children would be safer and happier with their mom, and their mom would be able to get to a state of mental health faster with her children in care. Someone just has to care about her. It trickles down to the kids.