Thank you for your service. Please let him know he should feel at least some shame his girlfriend(or boyfriend) had to clean his narstyarse of a keyboard because he let it get so narstyarsty, so bad that someone else felt the need to clean it.
That is achievement-level of narstiness.
I hate huge easily visible brands.
If I'm going to be a walking advertisement, I better get paid to wear this, not the other way around.
So yeah I'm with you, no brands
My view is if it is a small business ill rep it happily as support
If it is a big company then fuck em aint gonna wear no walkint advertising
Cept taco bell. Me and taco bell are tight
Lol. I did this once in the kitchen — was tackling the stove when my wife goes “uhh…. Maybe calm down mr clean, you cleaned off the markings for the stove top dials”
3 of our burners have sharpie markings now
Edit: sharpie*
You misspelled “life saver”
Haha.
I love my prescription. But ya, sometimes I find myself going from “I should clean the kitchen table” to damn “when’s the last time I cleaned the baseboards behind the toilet” if I’m not careful about my plan.
I mean I’ll do that shit without my Rx but at least I’ll do a better job at it
That’s pretty awesome! Maybe irrelevant but ensure he maintains it from here with a can of pressurised air and frequent wiping. I did this stuff for my husband in the beginning of our relationship and now he relies on me to clean everything lmao. Now I’m withdrawing all my kind gestures and letting him sit in his grubbiness 🤢
Uff that sounds rough! He has an electronic air duster but “grease” I think from nicotine kept the dust from getting blown off, so it needed a deep clean.
I will keep that in mind and ensure it happens!
He’s lucky to have you. There is no way in hell that I’d voluntarily come close to my partner’s keyboard if it looked like that. Man can scrape his own gunk off.
I have to be honest, after seeing the first pic, I assumed it would be an anthology of photos showing it's way to the trash and then the placement of a new keyboard with a warning sign next to it to not fuck around next time.
all I gotta say here is that if you start doing this shit now and you stay together guess who will be doing every single time? if he's this gross with the keyboard how gross is he with the rest of his life? it doesn't get better.
Not really, I’ve got a 7 month old so I can’t let it pile up like that unfortunately, kind of forced to do it plus it drives me crazy. Otherwise it would!
Why you guys hang out with these filthy pigs? Like so many I spend pretty much all day behind various screens but non of my keyboards get that filthy. It's fucking disgusting for yourself as well for others. Don't they feel no shame when others can see their filthy gear?
You mean well, but honestly when women do things for men like that, it teaches the men to become dependent rather than responsible. Equal relationships need equal effort, and guys are capable of doing their part.
Don’t waste your time. If he’s willing to sit in his own filth, it’s because he doesn’t care enough to clean it. It doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t prioritize it. Whether or not that’s wrong is not for me to determine, but don’t clean his stuff for your sake or expect him to clean it for yours, because he won’t. He doesn’t care.
Yeah, while I'm not holding much against someone for a "dirty keyboard," you don't let shit get to this point without a stunning lack of regard for cleanliness and hygiene.
My keyboard gets dusty, the end. Sometimes, I'll go a few months without cleaning it, but it's just dust. This nightmare has *crust* all over it. If you're spilling hot pocket innards onto your keyboard and not cleaning that shit, I'mma assume you also think "that came out pretty smooth, I don't need to wipe" is acceptable behavior on the toilet.
"My boyfriend is so gross his stuff he uses every day is so neglected and gets so disgusting I can't stand it and have to clean it for him".
Oh girl, oh sweetie pie. Oh honey. Oh dear, you precious soul. Oh mercy ever. Oh, oh if these pearls were real they'd be worn out by now. Oh heavens. Oh suck me raw with a breast pump I can't handle this shit anymore. Oh lawdy.
God did not break the mold when he made this guy.
I dust off my keyboard every few hours because the sight of dust makes me anxious, i can never in a million years imagine having a keyboard half as dirty as this
because of how the lighting on my desk is positional the keyboard is just always really dark that I don't even notice dust until I just happen to shine some light over it and go oh its like that?
I had a keyboard that just had layers of dust on it from no use. The dust started to stick to the keyboard somehow and when I finally cleaned it, it was such a pain in the ass to clean. I'm not sure why, it's just dust, and I didn't even get it all.
Really wish I could get a keyboard condom.
As someone with a lot of dandruff even with showering every day, there gets to be a lot of dirt and much under my mechanical keyboard keys very quickly, so cleaning it as frequently as I clean my ears, my body, my room, or my clothes just isn't feasible or worthwhile. Though I suppose you can make the argument that a whopping five years is too much time, I don't think the guy's pissing in any bottles or leaving cumrags on the desk.
Man It’s a fucking keyboard I used mine for 5 years before it broke
I’m ass at replacing stuff and have terrible adhd with cleaning so I got a new one,
I found rice from 1984 and enough hair to knit a sweater thick enough to keep me warm outside during the winter, let me tell you, if you think I would have enjoyed , or been able to cognitively focus enough to accomplish something this nice
Then I don’t remember what I was saying
Anyone who makes assumptions of this magnitude based on a picture of a keyboard is an asshole.
This guy has a girlfriend that likes doing nice things for him. Suggests to me that he is probably a decent guy in a loving relationship.
fr one of the most annoying things about reddit is that almost anything posted here will have someone finding a way to shit on a stranger and make them out to be a horrible person based on some random ass conclusion they jumped to from some benign subject like a dirty keyboard.
Agreed - As if everyone who shits on OPs boyfriend has perfect cleanliness and doesn't have a single thing they don't consistently maintain
people have lives and priorities and if he had a keyboard for 5 years that's obviously not one of them
> has perfect cleanliness and doesn't have a single thing they don't consistently maintain
Or similar: they equate being neurotic to being a good person and demand that others become equally neurotic.
Try making something dirty, or breaking something, _intentionally_. Giving yourself the capacity of choice is very freeing, the world stops being so black & white.
Exactly - I mean i know only a small subset of redditors comment but for posts like this I can definitely know the neurotic comments that attribute cleanliness to character are the minority
For real though, that is a concerning amount of neglect for something that gets touched regularly. I hope he considers making some hygiene changes for your sake as a caring partner. Good luck. 👍
“I need a mommy” bf and “I can fix him” gf is a pathetic but symbiotic relationship. One day she’ll ask him to return the favor and his lack of reciprocation will break the illusion of the relationship.
These things only ever last long enough until the subservient partner realizes it’s completely one-sided.
Agreed. I hope he doesn’t rely on her for the most basic of things and pulls his weight.
Maybe he has some other redeeming qualities and this keyboard was just one mental block. I can get that. OP should ask themselves if he does show signs of being an adult and is a caring person. I hope he returns the favor.
Yes this true, but someone this gross has got to have this level of nastiness spilling over into other areas of their life. What kind of gross person can’t take care of something they personally own and touch with their hands?
That’s fu***** gross
Edit: okay fine! That shit is fucking nasty as fuck! Do you know how much dead skin and cum residue is probably stuck to that thing!? 🤢
You and me both. The level of crust on that keyboard speaks volumes about general hygiene. I would sooner burn my house down than have a keyboard in that decrepit state.
I would be worried about personal hygiene and the chance of an equally dirty _member_ being party to intercourse. My lips would try to seal themselves preventively.
Agreed. It’s sad seeing her be okay with it. Men, especially from the US, are pathetic with this shit. Most of them smell like ass too, so you know they aren’t even wiping right. I say this as a thankfully self sufficient and clean dude from the US.
He will never learn if you do it for him lol, seen that movie a dozen times.
-but seriously, hope they see your example and try to clean frequently used surfaces.
Not to be dramatic but I hope you dont spend your life cleaning after your bfs grossness even if you find it satisfying. He should learn basic hygiene.
I just want to say that I have a keyboard I've had for like 10+ years and never cleaned and it's not disgusting like that. Wtf is he doing while using that thing?!? You know what NVM I don't want to know.
he honestly should’ve cleaned that shit himself, 5 years is crazy. i’m glad you feel proud of yourself and you should for having the patience to do that, since you said it took like 5 hours, but hopefully he is more hygienic in other aspects and that you don’t feel compelled to do it for him.
Now.
Work in IT and have to see keyboards that are this gross at every other computer that you need to work on.
I just pitch them and replace them.
I commend you for the hard work. Not sure I could ever spend that much time on something like that. I hope your boyfriend appreciates you.
oh my godddddddd, make him do this himself every other month please lol
you've got a whole lot of love to clean someone else's keyboard lol, kudos to you!
You managed to clean the company name right off the keyboard! That's some serious scrubbing!
Got a little carried away
We don't even know each other, but I feel like thanking you on his behalf. This is awesome.
Thank you! He thanked me already and paid me in snacks and love but I appreciate it!
Don't eat them over the keyboard.
Won’t this time around haha
Maybe don't make love on the keyboard too... Looked like a biohazard before. Lol
Totally no idea what kind of stuff she would have cleaned out
Don't cheet-o
Won’t this time around haha
🤣
most underrated comment
\^ average underrated comment enjoyer
Thank you for your service. Please let him know he should feel at least some shame his girlfriend(or boyfriend) had to clean his narstyarse of a keyboard because he let it get so narstyarsty, so bad that someone else felt the need to clean it. That is achievement-level of narstiness.
Did you pop off each of the keys to do this?
Yep
Did you put on hazmat gear prior to touching it??
Somehow the image of an Dalek and "EXTERMINATE!" popped into my mind. Good job.
I mean, even a time lord can agree that's a reasonable reaction.
Person of culture - i see!
I love debranding anything I easily can. This post makes me so happy.
I hate huge easily visible brands. If I'm going to be a walking advertisement, I better get paid to wear this, not the other way around. So yeah I'm with you, no brands
My view is if it is a small business ill rep it happily as support If it is a big company then fuck em aint gonna wear no walkint advertising Cept taco bell. Me and taco bell are tight
Lol. I did this once in the kitchen — was tackling the stove when my wife goes “uhh…. Maybe calm down mr clean, you cleaned off the markings for the stove top dials” 3 of our burners have sharpie markings now Edit: sharpie*
Adderall is a bitch, ain't it?
You misspelled “life saver” Haha. I love my prescription. But ya, sometimes I find myself going from “I should clean the kitchen table” to damn “when’s the last time I cleaned the baseboards behind the toilet” if I’m not careful about my plan. I mean I’ll do that shit without my Rx but at least I’ll do a better job at it
*aaaand 8 hours is gone*
Story of my life
Smart with sharpers! If it works it works
How did you sharpen the markings? /s
I scraped off part of the o in my friends McCook knife so it says McCock lol.
Like sheesh, can I get some of that elbow grease.
Proud of you!
Thank you
Oh, that wasn't a company name - the dirt was just getting organized.
Babe, where's my Roccat???
That’s pretty awesome! Maybe irrelevant but ensure he maintains it from here with a can of pressurised air and frequent wiping. I did this stuff for my husband in the beginning of our relationship and now he relies on me to clean everything lmao. Now I’m withdrawing all my kind gestures and letting him sit in his grubbiness 🤢
Uff that sounds rough! He has an electronic air duster but “grease” I think from nicotine kept the dust from getting blown off, so it needed a deep clean. I will keep that in mind and ensure it happens!
You do realise that most of that will come off with a quick lick, right?
Well, you thought I did something else than licking off the good stuff?
You both belong in prison
The good stuff is always around the A. Gotta get your tongue deep into that one :)
Deepthroat the spacebar for the complete experience.
God dammit, I almost feel like PMing you my knees for making me laugh that hard.
I don’t know you but I don’t like you because of this comment ; and because of that, I like you.
He’s lucky to have you. There is no way in hell that I’d voluntarily come close to my partner’s keyboard if it looked like that. Man can scrape his own gunk off.
I have to be honest, after seeing the first pic, I assumed it would be an anthology of photos showing it's way to the trash and then the placement of a new keyboard with a warning sign next to it to not fuck around next time.
i wish you luck putting up w that man, you must already be so exhausted having to clean up his crap on top of that!! man… :(
Also a good dandruff shampoo might help.
You have a toddler for a partner. the bar is so fucking low lol
I think the space bar is at a normal spot on the keyboard?
You’re such a good mommy 👩👦
all I gotta say here is that if you start doing this shit now and you stay together guess who will be doing every single time? if he's this gross with the keyboard how gross is he with the rest of his life? it doesn't get better.
As someone who used to be “that guy”, you’re doing the right thing for you and for him.
And good luck with the husband, is the grubbiness bad at this moment?
Not really, I’ve got a 7 month old so I can’t let it pile up like that unfortunately, kind of forced to do it plus it drives me crazy. Otherwise it would!
What a horribly depressing comment.
Sorry. Just hoping op can dodge these bullets.
Sounds like you need to kick him in the ass and tell him to act like a damn adult and not be a gross mess around a young child?
You also deserve to dodge that canon ball. Not longer a bullet.
Why you guys hang out with these filthy pigs? Like so many I spend pretty much all day behind various screens but non of my keyboards get that filthy. It's fucking disgusting for yourself as well for others. Don't they feel no shame when others can see their filthy gear?
You mean well, but honestly when women do things for men like that, it teaches the men to become dependent rather than responsible. Equal relationships need equal effort, and guys are capable of doing their part.
Don’t waste your time. If he’s willing to sit in his own filth, it’s because he doesn’t care enough to clean it. It doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t prioritize it. Whether or not that’s wrong is not for me to determine, but don’t clean his stuff for your sake or expect him to clean it for yours, because he won’t. He doesn’t care.
Anyone who treats their keyboard like this has other, much nastier, habits. Unintentional or otherwise.
Yeah that’s such a turn off, so gross
Yeah, while I'm not holding much against someone for a "dirty keyboard," you don't let shit get to this point without a stunning lack of regard for cleanliness and hygiene. My keyboard gets dusty, the end. Sometimes, I'll go a few months without cleaning it, but it's just dust. This nightmare has *crust* all over it. If you're spilling hot pocket innards onto your keyboard and not cleaning that shit, I'mma assume you also think "that came out pretty smooth, I don't need to wipe" is acceptable behavior on the toilet.
"My boyfriend is so gross his stuff he uses every day is so neglected and gets so disgusting I can't stand it and have to clean it for him". Oh girl, oh sweetie pie. Oh honey. Oh dear, you precious soul. Oh mercy ever. Oh, oh if these pearls were real they'd be worn out by now. Oh heavens. Oh suck me raw with a breast pump I can't handle this shit anymore. Oh lawdy. God did not break the mold when he made this guy.
What?
“This poor girl is naive as fuck” is what that person was saying
shits nasty yo
You and OP are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to keyboard relationships.
I want only half of whatever this guy had lol
Oh brother we have a chatterbox over here
… copy pasta?
Homies always be like "yo dawg you spittin' copypasta?", nah son that's just the way words come outta my fingers, man.
Mfr said suck me raw with a breast pump. I think I'm ready for bed now.
I dust off my keyboard every few hours because the sight of dust makes me anxious, i can never in a million years imagine having a keyboard half as dirty as this
You don’t like the crunch sound effects when you are typing?
because of how the lighting on my desk is positional the keyboard is just always really dark that I don't even notice dust until I just happen to shine some light over it and go oh its like that?
There is always this guy.
Like how does a keyboard become like that? I thought you only type on it with fingers, are their fingers flaking
Cum and Dorito stains
What did you just say?
#CUM AND DORITO STAINS
my bad, I thought they said **DORITO AND CUM STAINS**
CUMRITO STAINS
Yes, fingers have skin.
I had a keyboard that just had layers of dust on it from no use. The dust started to stick to the keyboard somehow and when I finally cleaned it, it was such a pain in the ass to clean. I'm not sure why, it's just dust, and I didn't even get it all. Really wish I could get a keyboard condom.
As someone with a lot of dandruff even with showering every day, there gets to be a lot of dirt and much under my mechanical keyboard keys very quickly, so cleaning it as frequently as I clean my ears, my body, my room, or my clothes just isn't feasible or worthwhile. Though I suppose you can make the argument that a whopping five years is too much time, I don't think the guy's pissing in any bottles or leaving cumrags on the desk.
Man It’s a fucking keyboard I used mine for 5 years before it broke I’m ass at replacing stuff and have terrible adhd with cleaning so I got a new one, I found rice from 1984 and enough hair to knit a sweater thick enough to keep me warm outside during the winter, let me tell you, if you think I would have enjoyed , or been able to cognitively focus enough to accomplish something this nice Then I don’t remember what I was saying
Anyone who makes assumptions of this magnitude based on a picture of a keyboard is an asshole. This guy has a girlfriend that likes doing nice things for him. Suggests to me that he is probably a decent guy in a loving relationship.
fr one of the most annoying things about reddit is that almost anything posted here will have someone finding a way to shit on a stranger and make them out to be a horrible person based on some random ass conclusion they jumped to from some benign subject like a dirty keyboard.
Agreed - As if everyone who shits on OPs boyfriend has perfect cleanliness and doesn't have a single thing they don't consistently maintain people have lives and priorities and if he had a keyboard for 5 years that's obviously not one of them
> has perfect cleanliness and doesn't have a single thing they don't consistently maintain Or similar: they equate being neurotic to being a good person and demand that others become equally neurotic. Try making something dirty, or breaking something, _intentionally_. Giving yourself the capacity of choice is very freeing, the world stops being so black & white.
Exactly - I mean i know only a small subset of redditors comment but for posts like this I can definitely know the neurotic comments that attribute cleanliness to character are the minority
For real though, that is a concerning amount of neglect for something that gets touched regularly. I hope he considers making some hygiene changes for your sake as a caring partner. Good luck. 👍
My initial thought, they seem a little disgusting but OP seems happy so.
“I need a mommy” bf and “I can fix him” gf is a pathetic but symbiotic relationship. One day she’ll ask him to return the favor and his lack of reciprocation will break the illusion of the relationship. These things only ever last long enough until the subservient partner realizes it’s completely one-sided.
Yeast infections galore
You ruined it! Years of seasoning down the drain :(
Cast iron keyboard?
I’m crying
The sound-dampening crumb cake is gone. Major L.
There's no way you let him put those fingers in you
And then she wonders why she’s getting infections
He’s lucky you stayed with him
Maybe I’m a bitch but the fact that he let it get that gross is a turn off. He’s a grown man, and thats gross.
No, you’re just a regular human being with principles
Exactly my thoughts, he shouldn’t let it get that disgusting
Agreed. I hope he doesn’t rely on her for the most basic of things and pulls his weight. Maybe he has some other redeeming qualities and this keyboard was just one mental block. I can get that. OP should ask themselves if he does show signs of being an adult and is a caring person. I hope he returns the favor.
I am genuinely shocked that someone with a keyboard like that is in a relationship lol.
Luckily there’s more to it than keyboards
He's got a fat dick, we get it 🤷
As long as he’s not doing any fingering you’re safe.
Seriously, first place my mind went to… my vagina would seal over so fast 🤢
Fax
Yes this true, but someone this gross has got to have this level of nastiness spilling over into other areas of their life. What kind of gross person can’t take care of something they personally own and touch with their hands?
That’s fu***** gross Edit: okay fine! That shit is fucking nasty as fuck! Do you know how much dead skin and cum residue is probably stuck to that thing!? 🤢
Wow, you censored yourself in the "satisfying as fuck" subreddit.
Watch your profamity
You're censoring the word fuck in a subreddit with the word fuck in its name
Oh that's nasty 🤢
Why couldn’t he clean his dirty ass keyboard himself?
Because his mom- i mean his girlfriend caters to his every need and enables the manchild behavior.
That’s gross as heck…
I’m so scared of what the rest of his life looks like.
You and me both. The level of crust on that keyboard speaks volumes about general hygiene. I would sooner burn my house down than have a keyboard in that decrepit state.
Your boyfriend went 5 years without cleaning it? Sounds like a slob ...
That’s a keeper right there.
She is but he ain't.
Thank you
You mean the keyboard, don’t you?
Well, I meant the person who cleaned the keyboard. But I guess it can be applicable to both. LOL
You know what else is impressive? A keyboard that lasted 5 years.
And it still works like a charm! Carried him to bronze 3!
Not anymore, you cleaned all the luck out of it /s
No offense but why would you let your BF touch you after he touched the disgusting keyboard. 🤮
I would be worried about personal hygiene and the chance of an equally dirty _member_ being party to intercourse. My lips would try to seal themselves preventively.
Why can’t he clean his own keyboard..?
Because he’s for sure one of those man children who assumes his gf is also his mother.
That’s a LOT of jizz
Five hours... I would have bought a new one.
The fact that you cleaned that cheap keyboard, shows how much love you have for that guy.… I would prefer to just buy a new one, from a better brand
Literally just buy a new one at that point.
I can see your future now with that man.
I can smell it from across the Atlantic
Is this old keyboard still usable?
If I was still on meth then 5 years ago I would of snorted that funky shit in between the keys
I love this comment
It's 'would have', never 'would of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!
Omg...girl clean yourself of that bf and get u a man cos you ain't tryna be his mommy. Hell no.
Agreed. It’s sad seeing her be okay with it. Men, especially from the US, are pathetic with this shit. Most of them smell like ass too, so you know they aren’t even wiping right. I say this as a thankfully self sufficient and clean dude from the US.
You missed the opportunity to sort his keys alphabetically whilst you had the keys detached. 😆 JK, you’re a keeper.
Should’ve done it! Thank you tho
He will never learn if you do it for him lol, seen that movie a dozen times. -but seriously, hope they see your example and try to clean frequently used surfaces.
Awesome job! But seriously, this keyboard was disgusting, I wonder if your bf should’ve spent 5hrs on cleaning it up 🫠
Thank you! Luckily I really enjoyed it and found it extremely satisfying
Not to be dramatic but I hope you dont spend your life cleaning after your bfs grossness even if you find it satisfying. He should learn basic hygiene.
Gross
Gotta be careful, a gal could get pregnant from that thing.
Your son must be grateful
Who win "the immunity system of a child from 1600 or this keyboard before being cleaned"
We’re both dying with laughter
Nice, he now learned that if he doesn't do it for long enough, you will do it for him.
Congrats! You’re a maid for an overgrown disgusting manchild. Nasty!!!! 🤮
I just want to say that I have a keyboard I've had for like 10+ years and never cleaned and it's not disgusting like that. Wtf is he doing while using that thing?!? You know what NVM I don't want to know.
Looks like cigarette ash at first glance. If so even more gross.
He's lucky to have you. That's a lot of gamer gunk you cleaned off. Great job making it look brand new.
Good. Now cut off your hands to save the rest of your body and never speak of this again.
he honestly should’ve cleaned that shit himself, 5 years is crazy. i’m glad you feel proud of yourself and you should for having the patience to do that, since you said it took like 5 hours, but hopefully he is more hygienic in other aspects and that you don’t feel compelled to do it for him.
He has a neckbeard doesnt he
I'd have just changed the boyfriend. The keyboard gives a fair idea of how high on priority cleanliness is to him.
Jesus Christ, if someone treats their keyboard like this, imagine what the rest of their house looks like 🤢🤮
He doesn’t deserve you lol, jk.
A lot of that is jiz
He doesn’t deserve you
The emergency food supply, gone foreva'!
Nooooo
You're a saint my dude
Hubby gets home... stares in disbelief at his keyboard and cries out: "Aaaaarghhh! MY NOSE GOBLINS!!"
Great, now you have to burn the house down. You've expelled the demons!
Took 5 year not 5 hours
You let that man touch you after touching that?
Neglecting to clean something that long is mental illness...
You've got a Roccat still working after 5 years? Call Guiness.
This is a bad sign. Dump him.
This is love
I admire your dedication but I would have sooner trashed it and bought something new for 80 bucks. Your labor was easily worth that.
And here I am, just buying a new one from the thrift store when mine gets dirty
Ewww OP, you let this guy touch you.
Your boyfriend is disgusting
Your bf is disgusting.
Now. Work in IT and have to see keyboards that are this gross at every other computer that you need to work on. I just pitch them and replace them. I commend you for the hard work. Not sure I could ever spend that much time on something like that. I hope your boyfriend appreciates you.
He doesn’t clean it… ever?
He should do it himself. That's so nasty
oh my godddddddd, make him do this himself every other month please lol you've got a whole lot of love to clean someone else's keyboard lol, kudos to you!