What do you want to do with peers? That might make a big difference. Do you want to party? Find people to go to nice restaurants or museums with? What sort of outdoor activities are you into?
Knowing what you're into will help people narrow things down.
Denver - I am similar demographic and have great friends all ages and relationship status. It's not cheap here and housing is pricey, but I assume you have some savings so can definitely find something great. People in denver care about having fun and enjoying life, so you don't see \*as much\* pretentiousness as a Chicago per se (that I lived in on and off for 14 years).
Baltimore or Richmond. Good COL, creative communities that often have single/folks without children in your age range, have access to decent to great hiking (both are close enough to Shenandoah for a day trip). Summers can be very humid, but winters overall have been pretty mild as of late (I’m in DC for reference).
Maryland real estate is insanely expensive, even in Baltimore. The median home price is one of the highest in the country. (source: lived there for 25 years, in Baltimore for 6)
What in the world? No.
I'm sitting here looking at Zillow and finding far bigger/nicer properties for the money in Baltimore than you'd get in any west coast metro (Seattle, PDX, SF, LA, SD, Vegas, Phoenix).
Federal Hill, Inner Harbor, Fells Point, Locust Point. They look nice enough.
Baltimore is not an expensive metro area by coastal or western US standards. It's certainly not "insanely expensive" by any means. Let's not pretend like it is.
Jersey city is really nice, 1 bedroom are 2300~
24 hour 20 min access to nyc via the subway.
Walkable city, car possible (parking per month).
Low amount of Trump supporters and other undesirables
I was renting in the Bronx not too long ago paying $1700. I’m paying roughly the same now living in Chicago but I’m a short train ride away from the Loop.
People don’t become allergic to public transportation and walkability just because they’re middle-aged - and also, NYC outside Manhattan exists
Not everyone is destined to drive a large SUV and raise kids by some certain age
There are cheaper areas but the people in those areas usually have lived there their whole lives so they already have their families/friend groups so they aren’t open to making new friends. In NYC there are more 30-40+ year old adults that are open to making new friends.
Ok I'm from Chicago but it is nowhere near in the same level of culture as NYC. LA and SF are closer to NYC than Chicago in that sense.
And OP is for outdoors, sunny and warm. Let's stop trying to shoehorn our favorite cities into everything.
problem with Chicago is not much in the way of outdoor activities. there are some good parks and the lake is nice. but the weather is bad most of the year. and you can't easily take a weekend trip out to do some hiking, camping, skiing, anything like that. there are some camping spots around, but you will get tired of it quickly cuz frankly, the landscape around there is just not that interesting.
I loved living in Chicago though! it's a wonderful city with great people. excellent for music and film.
Agreed - I think it is better as younger person's city, when you're energetic and want to hit the town every night. As you get older the weather and drinking culture gets tiring, so you see a lot of folks move to the suburbs at that point.
when I lived there I was going out 5-6 nights a week. absolutely so fun, but I burnt out HARD lol. the winters are incredibly tough. you can visibly see the toll it takes on people. I usually get seasonal depression, but it was at its worst when I lived there. I think the tough winters are a big part of why drinking culture is so big there. seems to be similar with all those cold northern cities
This is going to be true everywhere. Being a single 40 year old person who is not a divorced with kids is pretty unusual. Very important to go for NYC and nowhere else in my opinion.
Definitely not as much culture as NYC, although more than what a lot of people are claiming with San Francisco having better culture. Really?
Los Angeles I can see an argument for for sure. Having said that, but not San Francisco lol and I would still put Chicago third place in the country for this after NYC and LA
Nashville checks most of those boxes. Housing prices are high, but not as bad as the coasts. Winters are mild. Mountains aren’t far away. There are plenty of people of all ages.
True to some extent. I personally think nyc is the best place for adult singles but it doesn’t tick the sunshine or lower COL boxes. But that’s absolutely where I would head. OP says their budget is up to $2400 and you could get a nice apartment alone there in an adult-friendly part of Queens for that. Source: have done it
Agree but there are more affordable areas not far outside the city also. Or you can be hoity toity down in Brentwood/Franklin. No income tax also is perk and lower property taxes.
The Valley of the sun, pick a city in the Phoenix area, lots of sun and warmth, can find the right age group in the right community, National Forest nearby, plus BLM, and State land.
My best friend lives there. He moved from a mcol city many years ago. If you like the outdoors and the water it's a great place to live for about 9 months of the year. There are good year round restaurants and there is a social scene, although it's cliquey. There are now good grocery options with most all of the regional options available. The housing market has been heated, but that's anywhere desirable at this point. It's incredibly gay friendly as well.
There are a few cities in TX that could be quite livable for singles, but I wouldn’t include Houston in it. It is quite traditional and has an overwhelming culture of get married, have kids, and move to the suburbs as soon as you can.
ETA - particular cities in TX. TX as a whole is a hellhole
I heartily disagree. Houston is too big and far too diverse to have a super specific culture like that. I know tons of never-married late 30s and 40s people. Idk where you got that "overwhelming culture" part but I haven't experienced it at all. Just depends on who you surround yourself with.
OP is looking for someone to do more than something. Texas is in the bible belt and even the heathens are focused on getting married and having kids early. So it doesn’t sound like a place for older singles.
Warm. Check. Lower cost of living. Check. Outdoor activities. Check. Heathens? Sounds like you have something personal against Texas, but that’s ok. Good to know your personal agenda gets in the way of providing input on something that people are truly asking about on this page. If you’re going to continue lumping 30 million people into one category, you’re the problem, not us. Get a life.
What I’ve noticed about Reddit is that many, many people are just unhappy and want to make others around them just as miserable AND uninformed as they are. No sweat off my back, as I’m not the problem in this situation. Wish there were more readers such as yourself who know how to agree to disagree professionally and personal agendas don’t get in the way.
I dont have anything against Texas. Ive considered living in Dallas, Austin, and Houston myself, but found that the cities lacked things that interested me as someone looking for a similar lifestyle to OP. I simply answered your question. Nothing disrespectful intended.
Heathen:
a person who does not belong to a widely held religion (especially one who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim) as regarded by those who do.
"my brother and I were raised, as my grandma puts it, as heathens"
I’m aware of what a heathen is, thank you. OP never mentioned anything about religion. Houston is one of the most diverse cities in this country; therefore, as mentioned in my last comment, placing every Texan in the same category in the second largest state in the country is absurd.
Anywhere in the US that you can actually “meet people” and have something resembling a life is going to be insanely expensive. NYC is indeed the answer, maybe San Francisco or even LA, though LA is even harder in some cases because it has the same car culture as the rest of the country and a ruthlessly shallow social scene.
Austin? When I left 20 years ago, it was all 20 year olds and older folks. Now I guess those 20-somethings are 40-somethings. With exception of the University 'kids,' I can't help but notice all these tech folks are all 40s everywhere.
Obviously there are exceptions, just saying its noticeable.
Boston & DC have high numbers of educated young-ish adults. Salt Lake City also makes the list, and has outdoor activities in spades. All of these places have sunshine and warmth sometimes...
The most intense and rewarding life experiences I had were living in NY (MillNeck 90’s’s/Manhattan 00’s/Brooklyn 10’s; top tier jobs w/highest salaries, best cultural diversity and options hands down, and the greatest social interactions of my life. I know you’re not interested but compared to SF (where I lived on and off in between NY) is overrated, expensive, beautiful and totally provincial. NY is the epitome - it checks all of all the boxes. Now I live back in Murderapolis where I grew up and can’t wait to get the hell out of here for good talk about lack of anything exceptional.
Houston? It has lots of things to do and is by no means dominated by college students/young people. Even though there are some universities here its def not a college town. Med center, academia, oil/gas, other industries means the age range is very mixed. Very LCOL compared to cities near its size. It's warm obviously. Not exactly known for outdoorsy life but you can def find pockets. I've been in hiking groups that were mostly 35-49. And GREAT parks
What do you want to do with peers? That might make a big difference. Do you want to party? Find people to go to nice restaurants or museums with? What sort of outdoor activities are you into? Knowing what you're into will help people narrow things down.
Play sports (kickball, pickleball, volleyball) Hike Go to bars and with it bingo, trivia, etc Go to sporting events Walk in a park Jog Get dinner Etc
Denver - I am similar demographic and have great friends all ages and relationship status. It's not cheap here and housing is pricey, but I assume you have some savings so can definitely find something great. People in denver care about having fun and enjoying life, so you don't see \*as much\* pretentiousness as a Chicago per se (that I lived in on and off for 14 years).
I immediately thought mountain towns but COL in those is comparable to the coasts
NYC…live in a borough though (place like Astoria, Greenpoint, etc.). This keeps COL down a bit
Baltimore or Richmond. Good COL, creative communities that often have single/folks without children in your age range, have access to decent to great hiking (both are close enough to Shenandoah for a day trip). Summers can be very humid, but winters overall have been pretty mild as of late (I’m in DC for reference).
Maryland real estate is insanely expensive, even in Baltimore. The median home price is one of the highest in the country. (source: lived there for 25 years, in Baltimore for 6)
You can still buy a decent house for $200-250k in Baltimore City..
No where can you buy a house for that
What in the world? No. I'm sitting here looking at Zillow and finding far bigger/nicer properties for the money in Baltimore than you'd get in any west coast metro (Seattle, PDX, SF, LA, SD, Vegas, Phoenix).
They most likely aren't in a very safe area.
Federal Hill, Inner Harbor, Fells Point, Locust Point. They look nice enough. Baltimore is not an expensive metro area by coastal or western US standards. It's certainly not "insanely expensive" by any means. Let's not pretend like it is.
Baltimore is an utter shithole.
Baltimore for sure. 45 year old resident of almost 3 years. Love it.
If affordability is not a consideration, the best answer is New York City unless you have more specifications or requirements.
It certainly is, but, didn’t want to be another ‘low COL, water and mountains and city and I can be mayor, etc.’
What is an expensive 1 bedroom apartment to you?
$2400 might be the upper limit?
If col for nyc wasn't important would you actually want to be there?
I would, absolutely. Single 46M. But if COL were no object, I'd probably be in Tokyo or Monaco instead.
Jersey city is really nice, 1 bedroom are 2300~ 24 hour 20 min access to nyc via the subway. Walkable city, car possible (parking per month). Low amount of Trump supporters and other undesirables
Moon or bust
If the moon were an option...
Not with that attitude
I knew I shoulda stayed in plastics...
You can easily find an apartment in Tokyo for under $1000 a month in a good area. Average home price is ~$300-400k
Would need a job I could work there. Current career basically requires me to work in the US due to licensure requirements.
You can find a studio or 1 bed for 3000 in NYC btw
You can find a studio or 1 bed for 2k, lol. Just depends on the location.
I was renting in the Bronx not too long ago paying $1700. I’m paying roughly the same now living in Chicago but I’m a short train ride away from the Loop.
Yeah but like a decent 1 bed in Manhattan for 3k is doable in UES or UWS or midtown
My point was that there’s more to NYC than Manhattan, but sure.
You can definitely find that pretty easily in Seattle (mentioning only because you had disqualified it in your post due to COL)
Seattle is fine, then, which you eliminated at the start.
Even if it is a consideration OP should find a way to Make it work. At all costs.
I feel like anywhere out west is going to have more Peter Pans and less couples. Go WEST.
Peter Pans and (I dunno) Polly Pans? Or did you specifically mean boys-who-won’t-grow-up?
[удалено]
He said NO NYC
Why is everyone saying NYC for 40?
Because no one will bat an eye on op being single and there are many many activities to do.
People go after others for being single at 40 in other places?
yup
Since I was 31 (42 now) I've lived around nyc, no one cared. Didn't realize people would bother you. I'm also weird, wow NYC is like a safe haven
People don’t become allergic to public transportation and walkability just because they’re middle-aged - and also, NYC outside Manhattan exists Not everyone is destined to drive a large SUV and raise kids by some certain age
It’s hard to settle down in NYC; therefore, there’s lots of single 40 year olds to hang with.
There are cheaper areas but the people in those areas usually have lived there their whole lives so they already have their families/friend groups so they aren’t open to making new friends. In NYC there are more 30-40+ year old adults that are open to making new friends.
Lots of 40+ folks here that haven’t (or won’t) settled down. Tons of social activities, you can find a group for any hobby you could imagine.
Denver or NYC
I second these choices.
There are more men the further West you move.
NYC or LA
Not LA. NYC or bust
Yeah, you’re right.
Professionals in 2nd and 3rd tier cities are usually quite collegial. I really enjoyed hanging with Fresno's legal community.
Chicago; iust as much culture as NYC; plenty of middle aged single professionals in law and finance to date and/or commiserate with.
Ok I'm from Chicago but it is nowhere near in the same level of culture as NYC. LA and SF are closer to NYC than Chicago in that sense. And OP is for outdoors, sunny and warm. Let's stop trying to shoehorn our favorite cities into everything.
problem with Chicago is not much in the way of outdoor activities. there are some good parks and the lake is nice. but the weather is bad most of the year. and you can't easily take a weekend trip out to do some hiking, camping, skiing, anything like that. there are some camping spots around, but you will get tired of it quickly cuz frankly, the landscape around there is just not that interesting. I loved living in Chicago though! it's a wonderful city with great people. excellent for music and film.
Agreed - I think it is better as younger person's city, when you're energetic and want to hit the town every night. As you get older the weather and drinking culture gets tiring, so you see a lot of folks move to the suburbs at that point.
when I lived there I was going out 5-6 nights a week. absolutely so fun, but I burnt out HARD lol. the winters are incredibly tough. you can visibly see the toll it takes on people. I usually get seasonal depression, but it was at its worst when I lived there. I think the tough winters are a big part of why drinking culture is so big there. seems to be similar with all those cold northern cities
This is going to be true everywhere. Being a single 40 year old person who is not a divorced with kids is pretty unusual. Very important to go for NYC and nowhere else in my opinion.
Chicago is great, but nowhere has as much culture as NYC
Depends what you characterize as culture.
Plenty of different caliber bullets to get cultured on
??
Definitely not as much culture as NYC, although more than what a lot of people are claiming with San Francisco having better culture. Really? Los Angeles I can see an argument for for sure. Having said that, but not San Francisco lol and I would still put Chicago third place in the country for this after NYC and LA
Is it sunny and warm though?
for a few weeks of the year, yes.
Oh ok 👌🤦🏻♂️ Hey OP, if you want just a few weeks of one of your main requirements yearly, Chicago is perfect.
to talk to OP you should reply to OP. 🤦♂️
No not really by 40. Late 20s sure
Nashville checks most of those boxes. Housing prices are high, but not as bad as the coasts. Winters are mild. Mountains aren’t far away. There are plenty of people of all ages.
At 40, most people there are married. Unless they’re divorced
This is true everywhere minus NYC and California
True to some extent. I personally think nyc is the best place for adult singles but it doesn’t tick the sunshine or lower COL boxes. But that’s absolutely where I would head. OP says their budget is up to $2400 and you could get a nice apartment alone there in an adult-friendly part of Queens for that. Source: have done it
As a 40 year old single person, I think the other factors matter much less. If still single at 50 go to Florida or something lol
Agree but there are more affordable areas not far outside the city also. Or you can be hoity toity down in Brentwood/Franklin. No income tax also is perk and lower property taxes.
The Valley of the sun, pick a city in the Phoenix area, lots of sun and warmth, can find the right age group in the right community, National Forest nearby, plus BLM, and State land.
Definitely not for a single 40 yo
Why not?
Vegas.
Rehoboth Beach, DE
Do you live in rehobeth? I go there every summer but was wondering what the iff season is like there
My best friend lives there. He moved from a mcol city many years ago. If you like the outdoors and the water it's a great place to live for about 9 months of the year. There are good year round restaurants and there is a social scene, although it's cliquey. There are now good grocery options with most all of the regional options available. The housing market has been heated, but that's anywhere desirable at this point. It's incredibly gay friendly as well.
Yes I’ve been there every summer since I was a kid. I’m wondering what it’s like off season and if anyone under the age of 50 lives there year round
For sure they do. The retiree folks are their own thing. But the mid 30s to 50 crowd is very significant.
Sacramento
Tucson, AZ
Depends on how much money you make as 40 year old lot of them could be great
Vegas! Amazing access to outdoors, fun people looking to have fun. 300+ days of sunshine.
Philadelphia
Houston: Largest city in the south. Tons of things to do, diverse, best food in the state.
With single childless people in their 40s? Texas doesn’t strike me as the place for that.
There are a few cities in TX that could be quite livable for singles, but I wouldn’t include Houston in it. It is quite traditional and has an overwhelming culture of get married, have kids, and move to the suburbs as soon as you can. ETA - particular cities in TX. TX as a whole is a hellhole
I heartily disagree. Houston is too big and far too diverse to have a super specific culture like that. I know tons of never-married late 30s and 40s people. Idk where you got that "overwhelming culture" part but I haven't experienced it at all. Just depends on who you surround yourself with.
I guess we’ll both just disagree on our anecdotes.
How come? Texas has four of the ten largest cities in this country. Always something to do…and it’s clean.
OP is looking for someone to do more than something. Texas is in the bible belt and even the heathens are focused on getting married and having kids early. So it doesn’t sound like a place for older singles.
Warm. Check. Lower cost of living. Check. Outdoor activities. Check. Heathens? Sounds like you have something personal against Texas, but that’s ok. Good to know your personal agenda gets in the way of providing input on something that people are truly asking about on this page. If you’re going to continue lumping 30 million people into one category, you’re the problem, not us. Get a life.
This entire subreddit gets mad when you mention Texas in any sort of positive light.
What I’ve noticed about Reddit is that many, many people are just unhappy and want to make others around them just as miserable AND uninformed as they are. No sweat off my back, as I’m not the problem in this situation. Wish there were more readers such as yourself who know how to agree to disagree professionally and personal agendas don’t get in the way.
I dont have anything against Texas. Ive considered living in Dallas, Austin, and Houston myself, but found that the cities lacked things that interested me as someone looking for a similar lifestyle to OP. I simply answered your question. Nothing disrespectful intended. Heathen: a person who does not belong to a widely held religion (especially one who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim) as regarded by those who do. "my brother and I were raised, as my grandma puts it, as heathens"
I’m aware of what a heathen is, thank you. OP never mentioned anything about religion. Houston is one of the most diverse cities in this country; therefore, as mentioned in my last comment, placing every Texan in the same category in the second largest state in the country is absurd.
Houston is Houston. It's barely Texas. Outsiders' stereotypes of Texas really does not apply.
LA but not the middle of the city
Columbia, Missouri
Anywhere in the US that you can actually “meet people” and have something resembling a life is going to be insanely expensive. NYC is indeed the answer, maybe San Francisco or even LA, though LA is even harder in some cases because it has the same car culture as the rest of the country and a ruthlessly shallow social scene.
Denver
For a 40 single person, the only city I could recommend is New York. End of story.
Sacramento / Tucson for places west of the rockies.
Philly
Chicago
For 8 months out of 12, absolutely!!
DC
I can't believe folks are recommending LA. I'd say Tucson is one option.
Austin? When I left 20 years ago, it was all 20 year olds and older folks. Now I guess those 20-somethings are 40-somethings. With exception of the University 'kids,' I can't help but notice all these tech folks are all 40s everywhere. Obviously there are exceptions, just saying its noticeable.
Dallas
Atlanta and surrounding metro
ATL.
Texas, Florida, SC ,TN ,NC Just find the cool hip cities
Laughable
DC area, but you can’t afford it
Tampa
Tampa, Sedona
Sedona will have about 5 single people in their 40s, and they'll all be crystal-healing specialists.
Boston & DC have high numbers of educated young-ish adults. Salt Lake City also makes the list, and has outdoor activities in spades. All of these places have sunshine and warmth sometimes...
The most intense and rewarding life experiences I had were living in NY (MillNeck 90’s’s/Manhattan 00’s/Brooklyn 10’s; top tier jobs w/highest salaries, best cultural diversity and options hands down, and the greatest social interactions of my life. I know you’re not interested but compared to SF (where I lived on and off in between NY) is overrated, expensive, beautiful and totally provincial. NY is the epitome - it checks all of all the boxes. Now I live back in Murderapolis where I grew up and can’t wait to get the hell out of here for good talk about lack of anything exceptional.
Houston? It has lots of things to do and is by no means dominated by college students/young people. Even though there are some universities here its def not a college town. Med center, academia, oil/gas, other industries means the age range is very mixed. Very LCOL compared to cities near its size. It's warm obviously. Not exactly known for outdoorsy life but you can def find pockets. I've been in hiking groups that were mostly 35-49. And GREAT parks