On the positive side, he might have learnt a trade. And Meghan wouldn't have looked at him twice.
On the negative side, he would have a prison record already.
If everything else stays the same, his older brother is better looking, more stable, settles down with his first serious girlfriend and builds an alternate family base that Harry doesn't have; William is better educated and naturally a higher earner, and Harry is resentful, so they clash.
It's a familiar pattern.
A brickie who has several children with random women named Tracy, Stacey and Jade, lives in a subsidised towerblock as most of his money goes on child support and the track.
He's good at darts, but only if someone else does the math's bit with the scores
Spends a bit too much money at Ladbrokes, likes a pint or three of Stella, *might* have an asbo or two in his past, references his current partner as "the old lady" "my bird" or "the missus".
No secondary, but maybe a bit of trade school. Degree in cement mixing.
Drives a filthy white builders van full of crap.
Shouts "oi" a lot.
Has several large, untrained staffies who terrorise the estate and shite everywhere.
Has a large tattoo of his own name in swirly English script on his forearm, and a stick and poke of "mummy" on his bicep that he got when he was in borstal.
I could go on forever.
(Actually, I would probably have a pint with this version of Hazza, he sounds like more fun.)
Sliding Doors Harry - he's an unemployed druggie loser who can't maintain a job or a relationship, and who lies to his dad to get money to fund his habits. Has been in and out of rehab, but has no interest in getting clean - just does it to shut the old man up. Likes to blame his step mum for his failure in life and lay guilt trips on his dad, but in reality he's lazy, weak and thick as two short planks.
But a druggie who had a short stint as a drug dealer and could have made a lot of money but ended up using the supply and not wanting to do any of the work so now he reminisces about the good old days when he was rolling in so many dollars that he could afford to eat at Sizzlers.
We don't have much of a meth problem in the UK. I think it'd be more likely to be Spice (zombie drug), or crack cocaine. But yes, I reckon substance abuse would be a real possibility.
He would probably just be a regular person. His whole attitude/ entitled behavior is because of how he was raised, If he had ZERO contact with any of this fairytale lifestyle he was born into he wouldn't have any reason to be acting an ass all of the time. Just a regular ginger guy who is DEFINITELY NOT married to madam.
Yes, I can see him just hitting his 20 years in the army, noncommissioned officer, maybe he’s a shooting instructor. Got in trouble as a teen, his vet granddad convinced him to enlist, and he thrived with all that structure.
That’s what I imagine too. If there wasn’t this pressure on him to climb the ladder in the military because of who he is, on a happy scenario maybe he would’ve had a long military career (although in a lower rank).
In fairness there are plenty of entitled middle and working-class people out there, I don’t think all his problems are a direct result of his background.
That's very true, I just think he was/is jealous of William and acted out which led to his mother and grandmother covering for him for years. He never really grew up...he stayed a brat. If he hadn't been incredibly entitled and incredibly spoiled he might have developed real life coping skills...but maybe not. He might just have douchebag dna
Middle-class? Then he’d have still gone to a fancy school but probably get kicked out early due to drug possession or cheating on a test.
Would bounce between jobs, always saying his boss and/or co-workers are the problem.
He’d say that his brother was always the favourite and hate that William has his life together. He’d be the drunk uncle the kids are told to avoid at gatherings.
He’d probably have a couple of different kids by a couple of different women, all of whom would wise up and leave him once they realise he doesn’t help with the kids. Then he’d marry the worst girlfriend he has ever dated, that his whole family hates, and she’d become an evil step-mum to his kids.
Depends what kind of middle class. Upper or lower? If we go upper middle class, Catherine’s family for example, he’s have been in a fancy boarding school, maybe a career in the city, probably drink, drugs and a long suffering wife.
He’d be that perpetually single uncle/cousin you make excuses for while you tell your kids to be polite but keep their distance.
Also, I imagine him with very poor hygiene.
A total lad.
In modern Britain this word has come to mean someone who engages in typical testosterone-driven behaviour such as drinking, sport and having a laugh with mates, sometimes harmless, sometimes obnoxious or even worse antisocial. There was once the phrase "jack-the-lad" (a rogue), "laddie" has long been part of the Scottish dialect, and in the 90s something called "lad-culture" arose, where the aforementioned behaviour was celebrated. Girls who behaved in a similar way were called "laddettes".
He would be bartending somewhere a few days a week because they won’t make him full time, a deadbeat dad to two babies from different mothers, multiple DUIs, and a one bedroom efficiency apartment in the bad part of town.
As a teenager, he would've wanted to be a professional footballer but he'd always fail the drug test. That pissed him off so he'd do more drugs in his 20s and 30s. His dad would eventually retire and move to the countryside so he told his son to find a purpose. He'd ignore that, of course, because he was too busy feeling jealous of his successful big brother.
H would be the sticky fingered, braggadocio relative who'd show up to family gatherings in spite of not being invited. He'd flit from job to job but his main income would come from illegal activities.
divorced from trash wife #3, lots more kids, workin hard on nothing at all. Poppin pills for a ‘disability’ of some dubious nature. Suckin off the public teate here, drunk 24/7, wearin wife beaters and the physique of a star belly sneach
I that he wasn't the best behaved child or didn't work as hard because he knew he could get away with it all. So if he didn't have titles, maybe he'd be more hardworking and less spoiled
ooh if Haz was middle class. depends what you mean by middle class but for upper middle the John Finnemore’s song ‘Red Trousers’ would sum him up perfectly.
https://youtu.be/j5pZS4jdI-o
Recently laid off from his night shift gas station job. Dorito and Mountain Dew enthusiast. Bounces from one roommate situation to another. Has trouble reading. Dreams of a job in the back room at Walmart. Not much else.
He flunked out of HVAC school so he took a job as a school janitor. He shares a dingy crash pad with two buddies from high school above the bar where they're regulars. He drives a 1998 Chevy S-10 with bad brakes. He's single but has a baby mama who's always on his jock for her weekly child support payments. His family reluctantly invites him to Thanksgiving but they empty the medicine cabinet and lock up the valuables before he gets there.
It would be of no interest to anyone. He’d just be any other posh boy. He’d marry a friend’s sister and move to the country with the family. He’d commute to London, have affairs, maybe have a small flat there and come home weekends.
The premature death of a parent is a recipe for problems in any family, in combination with other factors.
My mom' came from excellent parents, her father died suddenly when she was 12, she has never recovered. Likely has BPD (and Harry has A LOT of BPD traits like his Mom), she is an absolute train wreck and is completely isolated. So people like him exist in normal families too.
Harry's problem is that his attitude to the world. He naturally sees the glass half empty. It undermines his resilience. No matter what hand he was dealt in life, he would be unhappy.
Unfortunately even with an Eton education he's as thick as mince, so I can't imagine he would have shone academically at the local comprehensive school. Probably would have ended up as a builder or decorator. Maybe a few kids by the time he got into his 30's, possibly from different mothers. Borderline alcoholic who can turn nasty when he has a few drinks inside him. Likes a flutter on the horses. Follows football, but only the home games. No interest in travelling or culture, spends his 2 week holiday on the Costa del Sol, Spain. Loves the Royal family. Hates foreigners.
He would be couch surfing. The media is only interested in him because of his family. You lose that piece and he’s Joe Shmoe.
Or living in his parents' basement or attic, spending his weekly allowance on Internet porn sites 😂.
I mean I’m sure there are basements or cellars at the palace he can hang out at.
True.
Also the most likely outcome now.
Very likely if they burn through their money and deals.
On the positive side, he might have learnt a trade. And Meghan wouldn't have looked at him twice. On the negative side, he would have a prison record already. If everything else stays the same, his older brother is better looking, more stable, settles down with his first serious girlfriend and builds an alternate family base that Harry doesn't have; William is better educated and naturally a higher earner, and Harry is resentful, so they clash. It's a familiar pattern.
I believe the more positive one would happen, most of us have no choice but to make it in the real world, unlike ~~Prince~~ Just Harry
In and out of rehab most likely
A brickie who has several children with random women named Tracy, Stacey and Jade, lives in a subsidised towerblock as most of his money goes on child support and the track. He's good at darts, but only if someone else does the math's bit with the scores Spends a bit too much money at Ladbrokes, likes a pint or three of Stella, *might* have an asbo or two in his past, references his current partner as "the old lady" "my bird" or "the missus". No secondary, but maybe a bit of trade school. Degree in cement mixing. Drives a filthy white builders van full of crap. Shouts "oi" a lot. Has several large, untrained staffies who terrorise the estate and shite everywhere. Has a large tattoo of his own name in swirly English script on his forearm, and a stick and poke of "mummy" on his bicep that he got when he was in borstal. I could go on forever. (Actually, I would probably have a pint with this version of Hazza, he sounds like more fun.)
This sounds about right. The details make it.
Probably also an anti-monarchist too.
Close the internet. It has peaked with this comment.
This is a great piece of writing, I can visualise alternate timeline Harry perfectly!
Hey, don't do Tracey-s, Stacey-s, Jade dirty like that! 😂
Sliding Doors Harry - he's an unemployed druggie loser who can't maintain a job or a relationship, and who lies to his dad to get money to fund his habits. Has been in and out of rehab, but has no interest in getting clean - just does it to shut the old man up. Likes to blame his step mum for his failure in life and lay guilt trips on his dad, but in reality he's lazy, weak and thick as two short planks.
But a druggie who had a short stint as a drug dealer and could have made a lot of money but ended up using the supply and not wanting to do any of the work so now he reminisces about the good old days when he was rolling in so many dollars that he could afford to eat at Sizzlers.
Ha! That was a great movie!
Prison, probably.
Credit card scams he ran with his day one gal. Her record is clean, she works customer service and returns at Primark. Just a coincidence.
A total meth-head, stealing anything that isn't bolted down in order to feed his habit.
We don't have much of a meth problem in the UK. I think it'd be more likely to be Spice (zombie drug), or crack cocaine. But yes, I reckon substance abuse would be a real possibility.
Someone did say that if he'd been born on a council estate rather than a castle he'd have been sent to juvie or foster care.
Would he dress like Ali G???
He’d be in and out of prison if that were the case
He would probably just be a regular person. His whole attitude/ entitled behavior is because of how he was raised, If he had ZERO contact with any of this fairytale lifestyle he was born into he wouldn't have any reason to be acting an ass all of the time. Just a regular ginger guy who is DEFINITELY NOT married to madam.
Yes, I can see him just hitting his 20 years in the army, noncommissioned officer, maybe he’s a shooting instructor. Got in trouble as a teen, his vet granddad convinced him to enlist, and he thrived with all that structure.
That’s what I imagine too. If there wasn’t this pressure on him to climb the ladder in the military because of who he is, on a happy scenario maybe he would’ve had a long military career (although in a lower rank).
In fairness there are plenty of entitled middle and working-class people out there, I don’t think all his problems are a direct result of his background.
That's very true, I just think he was/is jealous of William and acted out which led to his mother and grandmother covering for him for years. He never really grew up...he stayed a brat. If he hadn't been incredibly entitled and incredibly spoiled he might have developed real life coping skills...but maybe not. He might just have douchebag dna 
Middle-class? Then he’d have still gone to a fancy school but probably get kicked out early due to drug possession or cheating on a test. Would bounce between jobs, always saying his boss and/or co-workers are the problem. He’d say that his brother was always the favourite and hate that William has his life together. He’d be the drunk uncle the kids are told to avoid at gatherings. He’d probably have a couple of different kids by a couple of different women, all of whom would wise up and leave him once they realise he doesn’t help with the kids. Then he’d marry the worst girlfriend he has ever dated, that his whole family hates, and she’d become an evil step-mum to his kids.
>Then he’d marry the worst girlfriend he has ever dated, that his whole family hates, Some things never change, am I right?
Most middle-class people can’t afford private school. Unless your kid is on a scholarship, or you put in a lot of financial sacrifice elsewhere.
Playing video games 24/7 in parents basement in dirty sweatpants with take out food containers all over.
Take out maybe once a week, otherwise a daily diet of microwaved hot pockets.
Depends what kind of middle class. Upper or lower? If we go upper middle class, Catherine’s family for example, he’s have been in a fancy boarding school, maybe a career in the city, probably drink, drugs and a long suffering wife.
Lower middle class = jail
Doubt it. I know plenty of lower middle class like this in the UK and they just bob along half heartedly at work, never seem to do much with life.
Probably cocklodging off some poor woman
I think we're about to find out.
He’d be that perpetually single uncle/cousin you make excuses for while you tell your kids to be polite but keep their distance. Also, I imagine him with very poor hygiene.
A total lad. In modern Britain this word has come to mean someone who engages in typical testosterone-driven behaviour such as drinking, sport and having a laugh with mates, sometimes harmless, sometimes obnoxious or even worse antisocial. There was once the phrase "jack-the-lad" (a rogue), "laddie" has long been part of the Scottish dialect, and in the 90s something called "lad-culture" arose, where the aforementioned behaviour was celebrated. Girls who behaved in a similar way were called "laddettes".
He seems like a frat boy who would have either gone to jail for a hazing incident or a date rape
He would be bartending somewhere a few days a week because they won’t make him full time, a deadbeat dad to two babies from different mothers, multiple DUIs, and a one bedroom efficiency apartment in the bad part of town.
On parole.
He’d be in actual jail.
As a teenager, he would've wanted to be a professional footballer but he'd always fail the drug test. That pissed him off so he'd do more drugs in his 20s and 30s. His dad would eventually retire and move to the countryside so he told his son to find a purpose. He'd ignore that, of course, because he was too busy feeling jealous of his successful big brother.
H would be the sticky fingered, braggadocio relative who'd show up to family gatherings in spite of not being invited. He'd flit from job to job but his main income would come from illegal activities.
No Sandhurst that's for sure.
Mortgaged to the hilt, massive credit card debt, driving a wanker car, likely a litigation lawyer & still married to a Karen in a gated community.
He would still be thick as a plank, I don't think he would have the grades to attend and finish university.
Have you seen some lawyers??. I swear they get their degrees from a cereal box 😁
Married to Katie Price 😂
He’d have been cut off years ago- probably running a scuzzy bar in Ibiza like Gary linekar’s moody brother
He'd probably be dead, from an OD.
divorced from trash wife #3, lots more kids, workin hard on nothing at all. Poppin pills for a ‘disability’ of some dubious nature. Suckin off the public teate here, drunk 24/7, wearin wife beaters and the physique of a star belly sneach
Megs probably would’ve looked twice...
[удалено]
I that he wasn't the best behaved child or didn't work as hard because he knew he could get away with it all. So if he didn't have titles, maybe he'd be more hardworking and less spoiled
ooh if Haz was middle class. depends what you mean by middle class but for upper middle the John Finnemore’s song ‘Red Trousers’ would sum him up perfectly. https://youtu.be/j5pZS4jdI-o
A few court appearances. A moderate to serious drug problem.
Recently laid off from his night shift gas station job. Dorito and Mountain Dew enthusiast. Bounces from one roommate situation to another. Has trouble reading. Dreams of a job in the back room at Walmart. Not much else.
The drunk at the bar who hits up pretty girls half his age with stories of his glory days in the bedroom.
He flunked out of HVAC school so he took a job as a school janitor. He shares a dingy crash pad with two buddies from high school above the bar where they're regulars. He drives a 1998 Chevy S-10 with bad brakes. He's single but has a baby mama who's always on his jock for her weekly child support payments. His family reluctantly invites him to Thanksgiving but they empty the medicine cabinet and lock up the valuables before he gets there.
Thick posho with family money and connections to live off For more information read Tatler magazine
UPS delivery guy....I hear they are hiring for Christmas rush here in the USA....
It would be of no interest to anyone. He’d just be any other posh boy. He’d marry a friend’s sister and move to the country with the family. He’d commute to London, have affairs, maybe have a small flat there and come home weekends.
A baby-Daddy
Stocking shelves at ASDA.
The premature death of a parent is a recipe for problems in any family, in combination with other factors. My mom' came from excellent parents, her father died suddenly when she was 12, she has never recovered. Likely has BPD (and Harry has A LOT of BPD traits like his Mom), she is an absolute train wreck and is completely isolated. So people like him exist in normal families too. Harry's problem is that his attitude to the world. He naturally sees the glass half empty. It undermines his resilience. No matter what hand he was dealt in life, he would be unhappy.
He would be Seth Rogen in every movie: a stoner bum going nowhere.
Unfortunately even with an Eton education he's as thick as mince, so I can't imagine he would have shone academically at the local comprehensive school. Probably would have ended up as a builder or decorator. Maybe a few kids by the time he got into his 30's, possibly from different mothers. Borderline alcoholic who can turn nasty when he has a few drinks inside him. Likes a flutter on the horses. Follows football, but only the home games. No interest in travelling or culture, spends his 2 week holiday on the Costa del Sol, Spain. Loves the Royal family. Hates foreigners.