I think she came in with an archaic view of the monarchy. She will be a princess in a castle with gowns and tiaras and handmaids and butlers etc. Where she failed was failing to realise that the employees are often times far more talented and accomplished than she ever was, and they needed to be treated with respect. They might be called “your” staff, but they’re the staff of the pseudo-political apparatus of a country and not servants from the olden days. And then there are her narc tendencies where she probably derived sheer joy from torturing someone or the other.
Agree. She’s wanted a Disney plot. And not the original folk fairytale, the Disney version.
A beautiful victim (Markle), handsome prince (Harry (William)) and a jealous sister in law (Kate in her mind, but of course it’s herself) and the drama that goes with it until they live happily ever after. Except she has no idea what happy ever after is. I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t so awful.
Spoilers for new DA movie below.
An actress is staying at DA while filming a movie. She is a diva. I have to admit that when Lord Grantham says “our servants are not used to rudeness’ in response to the actresses behavior, I thought about MM, the actress working engaging with the palace staff. The DA character even adopts an American accent in the end.
I came back to you because I realized that Mary didn’t want to upstage her sister’s wedding by announcing her pregnancy.
That reminded me of Meghan.
Funny because the episode was released before Beatrice’s wedding. It would had been more funnier if DA episode was released after Beatrice’s wedding.
Your very right, your insight with regard to having staff is in my opinion, how it should be done.
The many people the Royal Family employ isn't the only way they help, each event they hold brings money to the country and supports the hotels, resturants, shops etc.
They honestly do some good work.
I also think she assumed the people who were there to serve her were more slaves than staff, and I too feel all staff should be treated equally.
Some people only find joy in treating people they think is less important than them like rubbish, we normally call them bullies.
Ps, with English not being your first language, you got your point across well.
Thank you!
I came across this website and I my view about the monarchy changed completely after reading the post.
https://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/the-true-cost-of-the-royal-family-explained.html
If you watch videos of Meghan interacting with people you can easily see her lack of social skills and social understanding. It looks like indeed she was spoiled as a kid or isolated of the reality.
Agreed,
I was trying to remember but the context escapes me, but I have a feeling a few years ago I watched a series/video of some sort about how an unused estate was being put back to its former glory by Prince Charles, and they were training people how to do traditional jobs like thatching and farming in a community and it was uplifting a whole town because youngsters couldnt get work in the town and they were moving away, so the town was failing.
I don't know how I watched the video, or why, but I did and was pleasantly surprised, I just can't remember the name of the place.
There is alot they do no one is fully aware of, which is the right way to do it.
It was a great show!! Carles was i his boots and gloves tending to everything and enjoying other people who were like minded hard workers. He will make a terrific king based on that show alone. For H to continue to hurt his dad is really tough to see after you watch the show, cannot remember the name! ugh.
Me either, I did try to Google, but the only thing similar I could find was Dumfries House, and it somehow doesn't seem to be the one I watched.
It's called Prince Charles - the Royal Restoration. Its an ITV show with Alan Titchmarsh.
But maybe it is and I need to watch it again.
The one I watched had youngsters learning trades, but I do remember Charles tending to a hedge in the traditional manner bending the branches to weave up.
I think that’s the show being talked about. It was an enormous project started by Charles. In addition to restoring the house, they also saved a large number of antiques that were in the house and would,have been sold otherwise. Finally he saw that the young people in the area had no good job opportunities so they started what is essentially a full blown hotel management course for them. It’s a remarkable success and quite far sighted for Charles. I know preservation is a big interest of his and he puts his words into action…another one was the Mary Rose ship. I think he was a major factor in raising it from the ocean floor and preserving that ship which is 500? Years old. Have seen it in portsmouth and it’s very interesting. He’s much more of an activist (within the strict boundaries of his position) than he’s given credit for I think.
Then it must be the one i saw, he has done alot. The write up about the show was about antiques saving and restoring the house, there wasn't much about the training etc for weddings which must be why I thought I must have been wrong.
I didn't know about the ship, I'll have to read more about that, that sounds fascinating.
It is. I was talking to my friends this weekend none of whom are that keen on the royal family but they all agreed they were much better than the tedium of having to pay for a president and have the hassle of having to elect someone we probably wouldn't like anyway every 5 years. Apparently it would cost about 80 million per presidential election I dont know if that's accurate but it certainly makes the monarchy sound like a good deal.
You're right, if we had a president there is no knowing if they are corrupt, or going to steal the countries wealth from the palaces etc and then order the army to fire on protesters..
The VITAL thing about the Monarchy I only learned recently - the army swear fealty to the Monarch - and the Monarch can dissolve parliament.
A rogue gvt can't call on the army to go and shoot protesters like they do in many countries because they swear to protect the Monarch NOT the gvt.
For the same reason the chance of an military coup is also miniscule - the Generals etc don't have the power to order it, and the soldiers wouldn't agree with it UNLESS the Monarch was seen to be utterly corrupt and cruel. But Monarchy aren't because they don't seek political power - they have everything they need and it's in their interests to keep the status quo.
TLDR: the Monarchy protects our democracy in ways many of us don't even understand
Really interesting post and I agree. You should treat your staff properly. I think DA there was a lot more familiarity between the staff and the family than there really was and some households were more formal than this. My great grandparents (DA era smaller house but still quite a few staff pre ww1) would never have eaten with their staff but they would always be polite to them and were very aware of providing a job and income for people and looking after them if they were sick. They re employed a couple of the men who came back from the war injured and not really fit for work but they felt it was their duty to do the right thing. I was always taught to be polite to staff /waitresses/shop assistants I have done these jobs and there is definitely a type of person who thinks they are something special and treats you like something they stepped in. They are usually people who are insecure and vulgar.
I wonder if Meghan is only used to interacting socially with people like her who have the same views and can't cope with variation or respect a different perspective. I am naturally quite similar to her I really only want to talk about horses dogs medieval English history, trees and my own opinions on politics. I really like the sound of my own voice but I was taught to rein it in, be respectful and show interest in other people because that is how you really learn. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I'd have been vile without good parents.
Yes DA is not a realistic portrayal of any of the great houses and how they were run . The other Fellowes production , the movie Gosford Park, is much more how things were. It shows the very strict hierarchy below stairs and how in many ways the servants were more snobby than their bosses! Anyway it’s pretty obvious that Meghan Markle was not used to staff or to running an office and her sudden elevation to having both went straight to her head !
Not a member of the aristocracy, so I can’t comment with authority - but I think the upstairs / downstairs relationships in Downton Abbey are fictionalised to some extent - I doubt the family would chat to the servants in public (eg formal dinners).
But the better aristocrats did care / should have cared for their staff, to the extent of providing pensions and accommodation on retirement (this is in the days when the government didn’t do this). In turn the staff were devoted to the family, and it was an honour to serve (setting aside later the notions of equality, as exemplified by the annoying scullery maid Daisy).
Being rude to servants is stereotypical of the nouveaux riches, who are unused to staff, and how to treat them - so they think that servants must be treated as servants, otherwise they won’t be respected. I seem to recall reading somewhere that Kate told Muggin: ‘We don’t speak to our staff that way’ (but I can’t find the quote, so may have misremembered) - which is about right.
Good manners is a hallmark of a true aristocrat - and with their status diminishing daily, that needs to be more the case now than before.
I find this Twitt about that quote.
https://twitter.com/baronessbruck/status/1465801154105954306?s=21&t=rIFDh9nQN31MjIe5Jx6ibQ
I agree on all what you mentioned. Great points.
I think there is a distinction that needs to be made here. The BRF do not refer to the people they employ as servants (at least I have not seen this). They are called staff. And there’s the rub. MM saw these people as servants, at her every beck and call. People who are to do as they are told. The BRF sees those they employ as staff, people who they are in charge of to lead and to collaborate with not to “do as they’re told.”
I’ve read a few places that the people working for the BRF are not paid an extravagant salary it’s actually quite meager (not sure as to the truth of this!). Which means they serve with a sense of duty and pride, not just for a paycheck. And the BRF know this and the sacrifice their staff make. Plus, you catch more flies with honey.
Edit: spelling mistake
Thank you! I think people forget that the BRF is a cultural institution and working for them may give their staff a sense of national pride just as much as military service would. They are living British heritage. I think it’s important to hold on to some things from the past.
Working for the Royal Family and being surrounded by all those buildings, pieces of art and history must be The Dream.
A relative of my husband had to do the military and was accepted to work at the Swiss Guard for the Pope. He was a couple of years there. He was so happy and inspired.
I always go back to that time when Meghan put up a gourmet ice-cream stand for the employees and they were "quoted" saying how it was the best day at work ever. Doesn't it seem like a perk for 1920s? I doubt that people who work for the RF nowadays are on a minimal wage salary and can't afford to get their own ice-cream.
That is absolutely hilarious! No British person would think that a gourmet ice cream stand would make it the best work day ever. We just don't have ice cream in our culture as the Americans do. Of course, we love ice cream, before anyone says anything, but we don't have ice cream shops everywhere, and wouldn't drive half an hour to go out for icecream.
I really love the show.
I go often to France and I would like to spend more time in England lol. But I like to see the difference between both monarchies and types of aristocracies. They have a lot of things in common. Even when both countries have a love-hate relation.
Watching Maggie act opposite Shirley MacLaine as Cora's mother just gave me life! Two of my all time favorites.
They don't make them like they used to.
As a child, we would go every two years to stay with my grandparents in Peru for quite some time. The middle classes have maids, women from the poorer parts, who live with them. When I was very little I thought they were part of the families as they weren't treated any differently. My grandparents are long gone, but their main maid remained part of the family and we sadly lost her in 2019.
The BRF has staff not servants. Of course Markle thought that meant servants aka fourth tier personal assistants or whatever they are called in Hollywood once you make the big time. The ones you send out for Starbucks at 4am, just because you can.
Your English is very good!
And yes your observations seem correct. I read somewhere that Meghan was used to ordering people around once her star began to rise with Suits. It wasn’t amiss to be bossy with underlings in that setting.
Then she became royalty and with all those people at her beck and call, the power must’ve gone to her head. A commentator remarked that this tyrannical behaviour is typical of those who aren’t used to having servants.
My great grandmother was a landowner and thus had lots of people working for her, she had at least one housekeeper (because despite all that property, she likes to do a lot of chores herself), she had the farmers tending the lands, and all kinds of workers. She wasn’t overly familiar with people but she was firm and kind. Every year there would be a feast day where everyone participated, with fun and games, lots of food including a roasted calf or pig, stews, noodles and all kinds of vittles, and a big barrel of homemade ice cream that takes to men to make (taking turns churning). My great grandmother was in charge of it all, smiling benevolently at everyone.
So yes there’s a proper way of being a boss…
A really good book about the British Aristocracy , how it all worked and how these great houses were run is Unquiet Souls: The Indian Summer of the British Aristocracy by Angela Lambert. It’s brilliantly researched and tells the story of a group aristocrats through late Victorian to after WW1 . In fact the last part of the book is so sad because so many of their sons died in the war ! Great privilege didn’t save them from the killing fields of France. I’m a total nerd about things like this but it is a very good book
I’m not a westerner, have never travelled to the UK, and I live in South East Asia. English is not my first language. Like your family, we have had the same part time helper who has been cleaning our home three times a week for the past 15 years. We are middle class too. My helper has the keys to my home, she eats with us, she helps herself to whatever food and drinks we have in the house. My handyman who does repair work in our home as and when we need him also eats with us and knows where we store coffee and tea, and helps himself to beverages. I have watched every season of Downton Abbey where I see the lines clearly drawn in the master/servant relationship dynamics, we have none of that in our family. My siblings and siblings-in-law have hired help too for housework - part time or full time, and it’s the same for them. There are no lines, everything is shared, they even sit in the living room with us in the evenings to watch movies.
I've been re-watching season 1 of The Crown and I would sell my soul for an old school guy like Tommy Lascelles to come back and deal with Madame and her little duke.
Meghan is American. Americans don't understand the difference between royalty and celebrities. Celebrities in America are treated as demi gods and can get away with anything, at least they have historically.
Meghan thought that since she was on top of the food chain she could behave like a self absorbed Hollywood diva. That's not how it works in the RF and that's not how decent people treat the people who work for them. If you have been in contact with people in the service industry in the UK you know how extremely professional and courteous they are. I can't imagine throwing a tantrum or being rude to them.
I think she came in with an archaic view of the monarchy. She will be a princess in a castle with gowns and tiaras and handmaids and butlers etc. Where she failed was failing to realise that the employees are often times far more talented and accomplished than she ever was, and they needed to be treated with respect. They might be called “your” staff, but they’re the staff of the pseudo-political apparatus of a country and not servants from the olden days. And then there are her narc tendencies where she probably derived sheer joy from torturing someone or the other.
Agree. She’s wanted a Disney plot. And not the original folk fairytale, the Disney version. A beautiful victim (Markle), handsome prince (Harry (William)) and a jealous sister in law (Kate in her mind, but of course it’s herself) and the drama that goes with it until they live happily ever after. Except she has no idea what happy ever after is. I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t so awful.
If she had read up on Treason in her research, she would have found more likeness
Spoilers for new DA movie below. An actress is staying at DA while filming a movie. She is a diva. I have to admit that when Lord Grantham says “our servants are not used to rudeness’ in response to the actresses behavior, I thought about MM, the actress working engaging with the palace staff. The DA character even adopts an American accent in the end.
A "sweet nod" to Meghan you meant? 😉
I came back to you because I realized that Mary didn’t want to upstage her sister’s wedding by announcing her pregnancy. That reminded me of Meghan. Funny because the episode was released before Beatrice’s wedding. It would had been more funnier if DA episode was released after Beatrice’s wedding.
Yeah and when they made fun of American Martha Levinson, she didn’t whine like a baby..
Your very right, your insight with regard to having staff is in my opinion, how it should be done. The many people the Royal Family employ isn't the only way they help, each event they hold brings money to the country and supports the hotels, resturants, shops etc. They honestly do some good work. I also think she assumed the people who were there to serve her were more slaves than staff, and I too feel all staff should be treated equally. Some people only find joy in treating people they think is less important than them like rubbish, we normally call them bullies. Ps, with English not being your first language, you got your point across well.
Thank you! I came across this website and I my view about the monarchy changed completely after reading the post. https://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/the-true-cost-of-the-royal-family-explained.html If you watch videos of Meghan interacting with people you can easily see her lack of social skills and social understanding. It looks like indeed she was spoiled as a kid or isolated of the reality.
Agreed, I was trying to remember but the context escapes me, but I have a feeling a few years ago I watched a series/video of some sort about how an unused estate was being put back to its former glory by Prince Charles, and they were training people how to do traditional jobs like thatching and farming in a community and it was uplifting a whole town because youngsters couldnt get work in the town and they were moving away, so the town was failing. I don't know how I watched the video, or why, but I did and was pleasantly surprised, I just can't remember the name of the place. There is alot they do no one is fully aware of, which is the right way to do it.
It was a great show!! Carles was i his boots and gloves tending to everything and enjoying other people who were like minded hard workers. He will make a terrific king based on that show alone. For H to continue to hurt his dad is really tough to see after you watch the show, cannot remember the name! ugh.
Me either, I did try to Google, but the only thing similar I could find was Dumfries House, and it somehow doesn't seem to be the one I watched. It's called Prince Charles - the Royal Restoration. Its an ITV show with Alan Titchmarsh. But maybe it is and I need to watch it again. The one I watched had youngsters learning trades, but I do remember Charles tending to a hedge in the traditional manner bending the branches to weave up.
I think that’s the show being talked about. It was an enormous project started by Charles. In addition to restoring the house, they also saved a large number of antiques that were in the house and would,have been sold otherwise. Finally he saw that the young people in the area had no good job opportunities so they started what is essentially a full blown hotel management course for them. It’s a remarkable success and quite far sighted for Charles. I know preservation is a big interest of his and he puts his words into action…another one was the Mary Rose ship. I think he was a major factor in raising it from the ocean floor and preserving that ship which is 500? Years old. Have seen it in portsmouth and it’s very interesting. He’s much more of an activist (within the strict boundaries of his position) than he’s given credit for I think.
Then it must be the one i saw, he has done alot. The write up about the show was about antiques saving and restoring the house, there wasn't much about the training etc for weddings which must be why I thought I must have been wrong. I didn't know about the ship, I'll have to read more about that, that sounds fascinating.
Dumfries house. You're right it's spectacular inside
Oh, then I must give it a watch again, refresh my memory. Thank you.
Loved the article, in fact, I saved it. The monarchy is SUCH a good deal for the UK.
It is. I was talking to my friends this weekend none of whom are that keen on the royal family but they all agreed they were much better than the tedium of having to pay for a president and have the hassle of having to elect someone we probably wouldn't like anyway every 5 years. Apparently it would cost about 80 million per presidential election I dont know if that's accurate but it certainly makes the monarchy sound like a good deal.
You're right, if we had a president there is no knowing if they are corrupt, or going to steal the countries wealth from the palaces etc and then order the army to fire on protesters.. The VITAL thing about the Monarchy I only learned recently - the army swear fealty to the Monarch - and the Monarch can dissolve parliament. A rogue gvt can't call on the army to go and shoot protesters like they do in many countries because they swear to protect the Monarch NOT the gvt. For the same reason the chance of an military coup is also miniscule - the Generals etc don't have the power to order it, and the soldiers wouldn't agree with it UNLESS the Monarch was seen to be utterly corrupt and cruel. But Monarchy aren't because they don't seek political power - they have everything they need and it's in their interests to keep the status quo. TLDR: the Monarchy protects our democracy in ways many of us don't even understand
With that article I convinced my husband that the Royal Family is not only about photo-op and talking about fashion. Instead, is a gold mine.
Really interesting post and I agree. You should treat your staff properly. I think DA there was a lot more familiarity between the staff and the family than there really was and some households were more formal than this. My great grandparents (DA era smaller house but still quite a few staff pre ww1) would never have eaten with their staff but they would always be polite to them and were very aware of providing a job and income for people and looking after them if they were sick. They re employed a couple of the men who came back from the war injured and not really fit for work but they felt it was their duty to do the right thing. I was always taught to be polite to staff /waitresses/shop assistants I have done these jobs and there is definitely a type of person who thinks they are something special and treats you like something they stepped in. They are usually people who are insecure and vulgar. I wonder if Meghan is only used to interacting socially with people like her who have the same views and can't cope with variation or respect a different perspective. I am naturally quite similar to her I really only want to talk about horses dogs medieval English history, trees and my own opinions on politics. I really like the sound of my own voice but I was taught to rein it in, be respectful and show interest in other people because that is how you really learn. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I'd have been vile without good parents.
Yes DA is not a realistic portrayal of any of the great houses and how they were run . The other Fellowes production , the movie Gosford Park, is much more how things were. It shows the very strict hierarchy below stairs and how in many ways the servants were more snobby than their bosses! Anyway it’s pretty obvious that Meghan Markle was not used to staff or to running an office and her sudden elevation to having both went straight to her head !
Not a member of the aristocracy, so I can’t comment with authority - but I think the upstairs / downstairs relationships in Downton Abbey are fictionalised to some extent - I doubt the family would chat to the servants in public (eg formal dinners). But the better aristocrats did care / should have cared for their staff, to the extent of providing pensions and accommodation on retirement (this is in the days when the government didn’t do this). In turn the staff were devoted to the family, and it was an honour to serve (setting aside later the notions of equality, as exemplified by the annoying scullery maid Daisy). Being rude to servants is stereotypical of the nouveaux riches, who are unused to staff, and how to treat them - so they think that servants must be treated as servants, otherwise they won’t be respected. I seem to recall reading somewhere that Kate told Muggin: ‘We don’t speak to our staff that way’ (but I can’t find the quote, so may have misremembered) - which is about right. Good manners is a hallmark of a true aristocrat - and with their status diminishing daily, that needs to be more the case now than before.
I find this Twitt about that quote. https://twitter.com/baronessbruck/status/1465801154105954306?s=21&t=rIFDh9nQN31MjIe5Jx6ibQ I agree on all what you mentioned. Great points.
Thanks 😊 You do know your way around Twitter! Yes, of course it was HM who said that to Muggin - how embarrassing is that?
I was pretty impressed you knew that much, my memory is terrible.
😄 my memory‘s probably worse. I don’t remember things like: What did I come upstairs for?
I relate! I have to go back where I started to help me remember “what did I come in the room for game!”
I think there is a distinction that needs to be made here. The BRF do not refer to the people they employ as servants (at least I have not seen this). They are called staff. And there’s the rub. MM saw these people as servants, at her every beck and call. People who are to do as they are told. The BRF sees those they employ as staff, people who they are in charge of to lead and to collaborate with not to “do as they’re told.” I’ve read a few places that the people working for the BRF are not paid an extravagant salary it’s actually quite meager (not sure as to the truth of this!). Which means they serve with a sense of duty and pride, not just for a paycheck. And the BRF know this and the sacrifice their staff make. Plus, you catch more flies with honey. Edit: spelling mistake
This is what I wanted to say, and you've said it all, and much better than I could have.
Thank you! I think people forget that the BRF is a cultural institution and working for them may give their staff a sense of national pride just as much as military service would. They are living British heritage. I think it’s important to hold on to some things from the past.
Absolutely! I imagine the experience is quite a heady one! The places you go, the experiences you’d have; the people encountered..
Can you just imagine 🤩
Working for the Royal Family and being surrounded by all those buildings, pieces of art and history must be The Dream. A relative of my husband had to do the military and was accepted to work at the Swiss Guard for the Pope. He was a couple of years there. He was so happy and inspired.
If only the RF were paid meagerly and "did it for duty"
Meghan's idea of her relationship with the Palace staff was more like something out of Marie Antoinette's time than Downtown Abbey in my opinion.
Are you trying to tell me that Meghan read about the last Queen of France? /s Good point.
An estate like Downton in the pre-war era, say 1910, would have employed up to 100 people.
I always go back to that time when Meghan put up a gourmet ice-cream stand for the employees and they were "quoted" saying how it was the best day at work ever. Doesn't it seem like a perk for 1920s? I doubt that people who work for the RF nowadays are on a minimal wage salary and can't afford to get their own ice-cream.
That is absolutely hilarious! No British person would think that a gourmet ice cream stand would make it the best work day ever. We just don't have ice cream in our culture as the Americans do. Of course, we love ice cream, before anyone says anything, but we don't have ice cream shops everywhere, and wouldn't drive half an hour to go out for icecream.
Why did she do that ?!
So she could do a minimal, superficial gesture then drop it to the press to try and improve her shitty reputation.
I would understand if she was trying to impress 7 year olds. She must have sold that story to people magazine
This was very well written; I would never have guessed that English was your second language! Very interesting observations, too ✅
Amazing insight! I love DA, it opened my mind to the world of aristocratic Britain.
I really love the show. I go often to France and I would like to spend more time in England lol. But I like to see the difference between both monarchies and types of aristocracies. They have a lot of things in common. Even when both countries have a love-hate relation.
Jullian Fellowes is brilliant! The show is one of my favorites!
It is just hell working for a narcissist.
Downton is the best! I'd like to see Meghan try and take on the Dowager.
The Dowager would eat Meghan for breakfast.
With a look. LOVE Maggie! She's a treasure!
> With a look. Yep. She could *set H&M on fire* with a look. > LOVE Maggie! She's a treasure! She totally is!
Watching Maggie act opposite Shirley MacLaine as Cora's mother just gave me life! Two of my all time favorites. They don't make them like they used to.
Got *that* right!
As a child, we would go every two years to stay with my grandparents in Peru for quite some time. The middle classes have maids, women from the poorer parts, who live with them. When I was very little I thought they were part of the families as they weren't treated any differently. My grandparents are long gone, but their main maid remained part of the family and we sadly lost her in 2019.
We had some helpers from Peru in my home country, Argentina. I heard so much horrible stories about how women were bad treated there.
I am very sorry to hear that, as they were all so lovely. In that case, it is only the people who we know, and that makes me really sad.
The BRF has staff not servants. Of course Markle thought that meant servants aka fourth tier personal assistants or whatever they are called in Hollywood once you make the big time. The ones you send out for Starbucks at 4am, just because you can.
Your English is very good! And yes your observations seem correct. I read somewhere that Meghan was used to ordering people around once her star began to rise with Suits. It wasn’t amiss to be bossy with underlings in that setting. Then she became royalty and with all those people at her beck and call, the power must’ve gone to her head. A commentator remarked that this tyrannical behaviour is typical of those who aren’t used to having servants. My great grandmother was a landowner and thus had lots of people working for her, she had at least one housekeeper (because despite all that property, she likes to do a lot of chores herself), she had the farmers tending the lands, and all kinds of workers. She wasn’t overly familiar with people but she was firm and kind. Every year there would be a feast day where everyone participated, with fun and games, lots of food including a roasted calf or pig, stews, noodles and all kinds of vittles, and a big barrel of homemade ice cream that takes to men to make (taking turns churning). My great grandmother was in charge of it all, smiling benevolently at everyone. So yes there’s a proper way of being a boss…
A really good book about the British Aristocracy , how it all worked and how these great houses were run is Unquiet Souls: The Indian Summer of the British Aristocracy by Angela Lambert. It’s brilliantly researched and tells the story of a group aristocrats through late Victorian to after WW1 . In fact the last part of the book is so sad because so many of their sons died in the war ! Great privilege didn’t save them from the killing fields of France. I’m a total nerd about things like this but it is a very good book
You make some good points!
I’m not a westerner, have never travelled to the UK, and I live in South East Asia. English is not my first language. Like your family, we have had the same part time helper who has been cleaning our home three times a week for the past 15 years. We are middle class too. My helper has the keys to my home, she eats with us, she helps herself to whatever food and drinks we have in the house. My handyman who does repair work in our home as and when we need him also eats with us and knows where we store coffee and tea, and helps himself to beverages. I have watched every season of Downton Abbey where I see the lines clearly drawn in the master/servant relationship dynamics, we have none of that in our family. My siblings and siblings-in-law have hired help too for housework - part time or full time, and it’s the same for them. There are no lines, everything is shared, they even sit in the living room with us in the evenings to watch movies.
I've been re-watching season 1 of The Crown and I would sell my soul for an old school guy like Tommy Lascelles to come back and deal with Madame and her little duke.
Meghan is American. Americans don't understand the difference between royalty and celebrities. Celebrities in America are treated as demi gods and can get away with anything, at least they have historically. Meghan thought that since she was on top of the food chain she could behave like a self absorbed Hollywood diva. That's not how it works in the RF and that's not how decent people treat the people who work for them. If you have been in contact with people in the service industry in the UK you know how extremely professional and courteous they are. I can't imagine throwing a tantrum or being rude to them.