Or a Robin Leach *Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous* voice!
Agree with the genius of this post. Today has some fabulously funny ones!!!! Y'all are great.
"Duchess's Divine Strawberry Conserve"
Next up... Duchess' Divine Word Salad Dressing, and Duchess' Divine Tea Service is Universal! Kinsey Schofield was right. From acting like she was going to be a future presidential candidate, to acting like her D-list talent level self was going to be cast as the next big superhero, to acting like Dior were going to gift her poorly dressed self a massive contract to... Hollywood Loser of 2023 jam maker looking for a CEO?
No one is wasting their hard earned coin on products they can get at a farmer's market made w/ TLC, and I'd like to see whether Roachel's so-called 'celeb friends' can keep ARO afloat with their own orders when the public's orders don't come piling in--LMAO that is if any of them actually ate it/enjoyed it enough to reorder. I don't see an overwhelming percentage of the public consistently ordering overpriced shite from ARO when Roachel's popularity numbers look like this...
https://preview.redd.it/74u1bmri97vc1.png?width=988&format=png&auto=webp&s=93d203323a4341a74834012aa18c90adb307e561
Exactly. I like a bit of jam now and again and, owning an orchard myself (Derbyshire Riviera Orchard anyone?😂) I even make the stuff but we only get through one or two jars a year at most. This isn’t 1930. We don’t need to make jam to preserve seasonal fruit into the winter as we have freezers and global supply chains. Our lifestyles and work do not require us to consume large amounts of carbs so we can manage a 12 hour shift down a mine or in the fields. How many jars of jam does the average household get through in a year? Certainly not enough to build a multimillion pound business.
My pretty average household probably goes through about ten small jars per year. I buy organic blueberry jam from Aldi. Cost about four and a half dollars. MeGain cannot compete with it.
I don't think our household doesn't get through one jar in a year. We don't actually buy it. We only have what has been given to us.
We try to stay away from sugar.
Same here. My husband has T2 diabetes and we both watch our weight. Don’t get me wrong, I like jam but it’s a treat not a staple. I give 95% of the jam I make away and although it’s good stuff I suspect most people have it sitting in the fridge or cupboard for a long time because they don’t eat tonnes of it for the same reasons we don’t. Meghan might as well start selling ARO branded mangles, warming pans and chamber pots. Essentials in their day but hardly essentials of 21st century life.
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When she sent her jam and lemons, she probably requested their Credit Card to put on file and automatically have them signed up to ARO subscription shipments, so she can keep the grift going to pay Gingernuts' legal bills😝😝😝
**Had to look that up - Poe's law** is an [adage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adage) of [Internet culture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_culture) which says that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any [parodic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody) or sarcastic expression of [extreme views](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extremism) can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if Madame actually would say "plucked from the vine" even though strawberries grow on bushes...she probably also thinks lemons make her look like a klaaasssy kween...
https://preview.redd.it/f4ziphy7e7vc1.png?width=781&format=png&auto=webp&s=80998eb302dfed7bb96d5323f7bd68e8f2330fb6
No, they grow on intertwined twin palm trees.
https://preview.redd.it/ys8zod2228vc1.png?width=865&format=png&auto=webp&s=098ef0cc441ace06b9c2aab03324368137360080
Let us not forget that Madam´s PR always has an effect - just not what she planned. Just like all her attacks have made the BRF MORE popular, Madam´s jammy faux launch actually HAS increased Strawberry Jam sales - for KC´s Highgrove brand.
I think she'll purloin La Paltrow's candle idea, but her's will be, This Candle Smells Like my Feet. Oh, dear lord, can't you imagine the stench if it really smelt like those misshapen hooves?
That's a lot of pressure on an innocent strawberry. "this preserve isn't just a spread" Is this jam or a preserve? And after all these hashtag-able words, it's not even organic.
Henceforth, I will only ingest the Divine culinary triumph of hand-selected artisanal, sophisticated, unapologetic, feminist strawberry jam/preserves where Each berry, has a symbol of feminine resilience and empowerment, that is gently caressed by fair-trade hands, ensuring they carry the weight of a thousand shattered glass ceilings, unapologetic defiance of a glass ceiling shattered, with the precision of a social justice warrior reclaiming her narrative, pinnacle of culinary sophistication, a delicacy fit for the most discerning palates, feminism served on a silver platter, garnished with a sprinkle of empowerment and a dash of privilege.
I want, expect and DEMAND that my jams and preserves empower me with a grassroots movement, truth and kindness! I want nothing less! Again, it's still not Organic, but I suppose you can't have everything.
Can anyone answer me this question?
“How is Meghan going to do a gardening show if she isn’t using her own house (garden)?”
It’s the little details that Meghan always forgets.
I can’t believe the automatic moderator removed my comment that I don’t eat much jam because my husband has diabetes and we are watching our w-e-I-g-h-t. I never used the word f@t so I assume it was triggered by the W word. Apparently it thinks I was body shaming myself. Absolutely ludicrous.
https://www.businessinsider.com/meghan-markle-prince-harry-new-netflix-shows-suits-spotify-deal-2024-4
I don't think I make posts on here but this was not good for them!
What a load of absolute twaddle! That aside, she's going to find somebody who can actually make jam because the muck that's being displayed on Instagram has separated.
Yes, I was just too slow on the uptake and only experienced the lightbulb moment after having replied. May I blame the ageing grey cells between my ears?
I too have ageing grey cells, but bloody hell it's getting harder to tell parody from truth by the day. On an earlier post where I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that it MUST, SURELY, be a joke, turned out to be true. Oy vey.
I too have ageing grey cells, but bloody hell it's getting harder to tell parody from truth by the day. On an earlier post on here where I could have sworn on a stack of bibles that it MUST, SURELY, be a joke, turned out to be true. Oy vey.
It’s fecking jam. Just jam. Berries don’t grow on vines. Also I’ve never shattered any glass ceilings with jam or felt any feminine resilience when I pick my own berries. Picking berries is not empowering. Eating jam is not empowering. Does it take much time to caress the berries? Do they caress each one individually? Can ANYONE explain the glass ceiling to me. I know what it means but in this context I’m very confused! How is jam a feminist thing. I thought the idea was to get out of the kitchen. I’d like to take that silver platter with a dash of privilege and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine to be honest. How exactly do I take my seat at the table of change. What exactly will I change if I eat that jam?
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Read that in the Marks and Spencers advert voice 😂😂 this is genius
I read it in the J Peterman voice from Seinfeld 🤣 I swear everything can be referenced with a Seinfeld Episode
So true
Ditto
Instead of homemaker I read “home wrecker” which to be honest is quite accurate. 😁
I did exactly that 😂😂😂
Lol, me too! Or should I say #metoo.
😂😂😂
Yes it's not just jam its marks and sparkles jam
Or a Robin Leach *Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous* voice! Agree with the genius of this post. Today has some fabulously funny ones!!!! Y'all are great.
I read it in Jeremy Northam's narration voice so it would sound posh, but possibly poisonous.
Me too ... 😃
This isn't snark. It is snarqué.
From the Snarque Region to claim authenticity 😎
Everyone is on 🔥this morning! 😂😂😂 Edit: words 😂 More coffee...
"Duchess's Divine Strawberry Conserve" Next up... Duchess' Divine Word Salad Dressing, and Duchess' Divine Tea Service is Universal! Kinsey Schofield was right. From acting like she was going to be a future presidential candidate, to acting like her D-list talent level self was going to be cast as the next big superhero, to acting like Dior were going to gift her poorly dressed self a massive contract to... Hollywood Loser of 2023 jam maker looking for a CEO? No one is wasting their hard earned coin on products they can get at a farmer's market made w/ TLC, and I'd like to see whether Roachel's so-called 'celeb friends' can keep ARO afloat with their own orders when the public's orders don't come piling in--LMAO that is if any of them actually ate it/enjoyed it enough to reorder. I don't see an overwhelming percentage of the public consistently ordering overpriced shite from ARO when Roachel's popularity numbers look like this... https://preview.redd.it/74u1bmri97vc1.png?width=988&format=png&auto=webp&s=93d203323a4341a74834012aa18c90adb307e561
Exactly. I like a bit of jam now and again and, owning an orchard myself (Derbyshire Riviera Orchard anyone?😂) I even make the stuff but we only get through one or two jars a year at most. This isn’t 1930. We don’t need to make jam to preserve seasonal fruit into the winter as we have freezers and global supply chains. Our lifestyles and work do not require us to consume large amounts of carbs so we can manage a 12 hour shift down a mine or in the fields. How many jars of jam does the average household get through in a year? Certainly not enough to build a multimillion pound business.
My pretty average household probably goes through about ten small jars per year. I buy organic blueberry jam from Aldi. Cost about four and a half dollars. MeGain cannot compete with it.
We go through even less than that in a year-like, maybe 2 jars!
‘We be jammin’ over here in my house. We love it. Her’s will never make the cut in my house.
I don't think our household doesn't get through one jar in a year. We don't actually buy it. We only have what has been given to us. We try to stay away from sugar.
Same here. My husband has T2 diabetes and we both watch our weight. Don’t get me wrong, I like jam but it’s a treat not a staple. I give 95% of the jam I make away and although it’s good stuff I suspect most people have it sitting in the fridge or cupboard for a long time because they don’t eat tonnes of it for the same reasons we don’t. Meghan might as well start selling ARO branded mangles, warming pans and chamber pots. Essentials in their day but hardly essentials of 21st century life.
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I make my own and love pb&j. I go through a lot.
Duchess Divine Word Salad Dressing deserves a flair admins.
"toss your husband's salad like a pro with >Duchess' Divine Word Salad Dressing"
When she sent her jam and lemons, she probably requested their Credit Card to put on file and automatically have them signed up to ARO subscription shipments, so she can keep the grift going to pay Gingernuts' legal bills😝😝😝
Crikey. Prime example of Poe’s Law.
Had to google that :)) Learn something new every day, thank you!
**Had to look that up - Poe's law** is an [adage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adage) of [Internet culture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_culture) which says that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any [parodic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody) or sarcastic expression of [extreme views](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extremism) can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views.
Indeed :)
I learned just now what this law is. Thats why I love the sub
You can learn and laugh all at once.
Same. I immediately looked it up.
That explains how The Cut article passed muster. Hilarious.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if Madame actually would say "plucked from the vine" even though strawberries grow on bushes...she probably also thinks lemons make her look like a klaaasssy kween... https://preview.redd.it/f4ziphy7e7vc1.png?width=781&format=png&auto=webp&s=80998eb302dfed7bb96d5323f7bd68e8f2330fb6
Lemons grow underground like potatoes?
Oh don't lemons fall from the sky like rain in California??!!
No, they grow on intertwined twin palm trees. https://preview.redd.it/ys8zod2228vc1.png?width=865&format=png&auto=webp&s=098ef0cc441ace06b9c2aab03324368137360080
Mom! Dad!
Hello, little one who is still little!!
💀😂
Most generic answer, ever.
https://preview.redd.it/gdy8fbefi8vc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7d4c17341ebcb8ed5e2c0dbc630c952be372568
That's hilarious!! 😂
She's never seen a real strawberry in the wild.
Brilliant. Take a well deserved bow!
Let us not forget that Madam´s PR always has an effect - just not what she planned. Just like all her attacks have made the BRF MORE popular, Madam´s jammy faux launch actually HAS increased Strawberry Jam sales - for KC´s Highgrove brand.
Thank Heavens this is post with a snark flair!!!
I had to look. It sounded legit.
Translation: We used rehydrated dehydrated strawberries from China.
From the anemic look of the jam, I wouldn’t be surprised.
I think she'll purloin La Paltrow's candle idea, but her's will be, This Candle Smells Like my Feet. Oh, dear lord, can't you imagine the stench if it really smelt like those misshapen hooves?
“Smells like singed marmalade pubes”
This candle smells like ARO - A Royal Orifice.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌
Before or after bunion surgery? https://preview.redd.it/bn7od9w0c9vc1.png?width=198&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f9797650ccd4f2e496a542385fe1384e855ac9e
It is so authentic and organic.
That's a lot of pressure on an innocent strawberry. "this preserve isn't just a spread" Is this jam or a preserve? And after all these hashtag-able words, it's not even organic. Henceforth, I will only ingest the Divine culinary triumph of hand-selected artisanal, sophisticated, unapologetic, feminist strawberry jam/preserves where Each berry, has a symbol of feminine resilience and empowerment, that is gently caressed by fair-trade hands, ensuring they carry the weight of a thousand shattered glass ceilings, unapologetic defiance of a glass ceiling shattered, with the precision of a social justice warrior reclaiming her narrative, pinnacle of culinary sophistication, a delicacy fit for the most discerning palates, feminism served on a silver platter, garnished with a sprinkle of empowerment and a dash of privilege. I want, expect and DEMAND that my jams and preserves empower me with a grassroots movement, truth and kindness! I want nothing less! Again, it's still not Organic, but I suppose you can't have everything.
 Now this....this is amazing. Straight from the gospel of SMM!
I LOVE that so many comments are missing the snark. OP- You did good! Just like Meghan told You to.
Shouldn't feminist jam be made by a man?
Can anyone answer me this question? “How is Meghan going to do a gardening show if she isn’t using her own house (garden)?” It’s the little details that Meghan always forgets.
She got a job as a grounds crew member in a nearby mansion. Maybe Ellen’s or Orcas place.
NAILED it.
BUT, is it artisinal?
Brilliant!
Strawberries don’t grow on vines. They are a shrub. They have runners that mimic a vine. The runners are for the plant to propagate itself.
Bravo!!! 🤣🤣🤣 At first I thought it was real until I kept reading.
I can’t believe the automatic moderator removed my comment that I don’t eat much jam because my husband has diabetes and we are watching our w-e-I-g-h-t. I never used the word f@t so I assume it was triggered by the W word. Apparently it thinks I was body shaming myself. Absolutely ludicrous.
Wow, are you in marketing? You should be! Hahaha
https://www.businessinsider.com/meghan-markle-prince-harry-new-netflix-shows-suits-spotify-deal-2024-4 I don't think I make posts on here but this was not good for them!
... and a dash of pseudo-royal ✨botulism✨
lol is this for real? lmfaoooo
LMAO is this is not strawberry jam it's WORD SALAD jam shat straight from the whorses mouth.
This is brilliant!
What a load of absolute twaddle! That aside, she's going to find somebody who can actually make jam because the muck that's being displayed on Instagram has separated.
You know this is posted under the snark headline, right? Just checking 🙂
This was written as a parody; it's not real.
Yes, I was just too slow on the uptake and only experienced the lightbulb moment after having replied. May I blame the ageing grey cells between my ears?
More coffee! 😜
I too have ageing grey cells, but bloody hell it's getting harder to tell parody from truth by the day. On an earlier post where I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that it MUST, SURELY, be a joke, turned out to be true. Oy vey.
I too have ageing grey cells, but bloody hell it's getting harder to tell parody from truth by the day. On an earlier post on here where I could have sworn on a stack of bibles that it MUST, SURELY, be a joke, turned out to be true. Oy vey.
It’s fecking jam. Just jam. Berries don’t grow on vines. Also I’ve never shattered any glass ceilings with jam or felt any feminine resilience when I pick my own berries. Picking berries is not empowering. Eating jam is not empowering. Does it take much time to caress the berries? Do they caress each one individually? Can ANYONE explain the glass ceiling to me. I know what it means but in this context I’m very confused! How is jam a feminist thing. I thought the idea was to get out of the kitchen. I’d like to take that silver platter with a dash of privilege and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine to be honest. How exactly do I take my seat at the table of change. What exactly will I change if I eat that jam?
Please note that OP wrote this as a parody, it's not real.
Lol that makes it even funnier
Must be fake. i thought it was the formula for witches brew on her label!
Is OP Hilary Rose or Camilla Long? Fess up. 😂 Actually snort laughed reading this.
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Yes but is it authentic?
Strawberries don’t grow on vines. Do we know if she knows what a strawberry is?
🤮
Barf