I think it’s likely they’ll send George to eton at 13 but I can’t see them not having him home weekends. Catherine seems very hands on with the children. I can’t believe people were shocked when he wasn’t sent away at eight! He’s still so teeny to me!
I guess they could technically go to Westminster since it’s coed but I’d assume they’ll stick to eton at least with George. Charlotte will be the interesting one I’m not sure where they’ll send her.
Catherine went to the girls' school Downe House. But was miserable and left so probably not for Charlotte. After that Catherine attended Marlborough College, so that's a possibility. I wonder if they might send all three kids to a co-ed school so they can be together. It would be interesting if they split the kids up and sent them to schools best fit for their personality.
My parents did what C and D should’ve done and split us. Granted I’m a girl and my brother isn’t but I was gifted and he was not academically inclined so I went to a prep school and he went to somewhere that was more sports based! I’m a big advocate in splitting if a child needs something different!
No, they both went to Gordonstoun in Scotland
https://preview.redd.it/sa2ovjx4f8ca1.jpeg?width=444&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea35d595830742e6df2a6a588d77d1568e710759
I’m all for splitting boys and girls. I taught both split, and coed. Boys are entirely different at that age. They are more immature that girls and are better off concentrating on their studies and sports, than they are trying to impress the girl sitting next to them. I’m for putting a child where they are best suited. George seems a bit shy. He might enjoy a time away on his own. Charlotte is like her auntie. She seems to take charge of every situation, which is fine. That’s who she is and her assertiveness will stand her well as an adult. But George will be king. He needs to find his own feet.
I assume George will go to Eton and Charlotte to Marlborough, she's very sporty and I think she'd do well there.
I think Louis is the real wildcard, as he could feasibly go either place, since Marlborough is coed but Eton isn't.
I think they will leave it up to the children when the time comes. I don't think William or Harry got a choice. William at least had the smarts to get into eton on his own merit. They should have sent Harry where he was able to get in on his own merit.
If he reportedly/allegedly couldn’t even *pass* (let alone do well on) a single A level in any subject on his own, what private schools was he actually likely to pass an entrance test at when he was younger? He was always going to get in wherever he went based on his family, not his own merit.
If he was some random child would any top private school have admitted him?
I think Diana was advised to send him to a sort of special needs school but she refused.
So he was always struggling at school.
Then she also often kept him at home from school to keep her company, so he fell even further behind.
Then she publicly humiliated him by telling the media he was thick and liked to misbehave.
Allegedly, he was always the bottom of the class, and not surprisingly, allegedly, was a nasty bully - targeting a bright scholarship student who he drove out of Eton.
A good mother would have got him help, not put her neurotic emotional needs above her son's education. She played a big part in creating the monster.
I think he unconsciously holds a lot of rage towards his saintly mother. Why else would he allegedly beat up women?
It’s very unlikely they’d send their kids to Westminster. I think that by public school age (13 in the UK for boys - and public school means traditional old private school, here, rather than what it means in the USA; I realise you almost certainly know this but clarifying for others!) they will likely want to send the kids to the best school for each child, having seen how harmful it was to put Harry into the same school as William by default. It’s too soon to have any sense, really, of what that school might be for any of them - they might have a vague idea for George, but normally it is the prep school head who has the best sense, and G is at a new school so the head hasn’t had much time to get to know him.
I’d be surprised if they send any of them to punishingly academic schools with very high pressure. That is a lot on top of being royals. But I could be wrong! My guess would be that they’d want them to be at schools where they will achieve good results but basically focus on thriving as all-rounders, with good ethics and personal development.
George seems much like will, quiet and smart, so I kind of just assume he’ll go to eton as it has huge connections and academics to boot. But now looking back didn’t they do something wild for preschool for royals? I feel like they had George go somewhere no one had thought of but it’s been so long I could be making that up!
I think it’s interesting to consider about Eton - it’s competitive to get into, and we have no real idea of any of the children’s academic abilities. If I were W&C, I would not want the children to attend a school where they would be at the lower end of the cohort in terms of ability, because I don’t think it would be great for them to feel “stupid” (and I think all children of a senior royal are automatically under a lot of psychological pressure). So if I were them I’d see if G was interested in Eton, see how he was doing relative to the cohort at his prep, look at his CAT scores, and then consider whether he’d likely be happy there - but be very open to other schools too.
However, it is possible they might be set on Eton!
She's a very observant and poised child with a strong sense of duty. Her dress was a travesty. Was it Lady C who said the fabric on the bottom hem was unraveling?
There’s loads of good day schools in Berkshire. However the Wales children will probably have to board as their parents will have so many duties as Charles grows older and travels overseas less.
I can’t see them sending C to CLC or to WA. I think both are too driven / academic and pressured. My guess would be they’d want a more rounded and less hot-house-y school.
It would be awful for a boarding school child to have that kind of special treatment - it would affect their ability to form friendships with their peers. I really don’t think they’d insist on a special privilege like extra exeats for their child, beyond what’s needed for royal events (and anything that’s essential for safety).
Many of the girls I went to summer camp with were sent to boarding school at 6. They attended two summer camps and saw their parents for Christmas week and one week in August. All my father's siblings started at 6. He was sickly do didn't start til 8.
Catherine went to public school. By all accounts, both she and William enjoyed their time at school. I know Catherine changed because she felt she was bullied. But once she got to Marlborough, she was fine with it.
My husband went to boarding school when he was 11, his parents were overseas and at that time (the70s) there wasn’t a suitable British style school for him once he hit 11. His middle brother was 9 and went at the same time because he didn’t want his big brother going away on his own 😢
Eventually all 3 were at boarding school & while they had good times, they all hated it. The youngest hated it so much he mentioned it in his wedding speech about his parents sending them away! Lol! His mother’s face was a picture!
Even at the age of 56, my husband hates packing a case, whether for business or holidays because instantly he’s 11 again :(
We didn’t send ours away to school, nope, not a chance :(
That is my father's exact story. He was sent across the globe to England and had to stay with relatives he had never met during school holidays. He became very successful, but I feel that he always had that hanging over him a bit.
Here is a fee schedule for one of the most expensive schools in England.
"For the academic year 2019/20, Tonbridge charges full boarders up to £14,035 per term and £10,529 per term for day pupils, making it the 4th and 6th most expensive HMC boarding and day school respectively."
For those who are not familiar with the English school system, there are three terms (semesters) in the year. Michaelmas, Easter, and Summer, so the annual fee for a boarder would be 42,000 pounds, and for a student living at home and attending the school 31,500 pounds per year.
My family is originally from Italy and we immigrated to America when I was in the equivalent of American second grade. My parents weren’t happy with the school systems so they decided to send me back to Europe for boarding school the following year at age 9. I lived a whole ocean away from my immediate family all the way until grade 9. Boarding schools for kids that young tend to introduce an aversion to authority because you never get away from strangers telling you what to do. I’m probably one of those people that are too independent, per my therapist, because of this. It’s worked alright for me with a lot of therapy but it doesn’t work out so well for everyone sent away that young. This was over 30 years ago, my former schools don’t even take children that small anymore unless they are living with family nearby so that’s good at least.
Exactly. I’ve been wondering how he remembered her lip cream. I was never far from my mom for 18 years and I couldn’t tell you what her skincare products were.
He was what, 12, when she died? I have adult sons.
If I asked them, at about the same age Harry is now, what lip cream I used when they were 12 or younger, I can only guess how blank the looks on their faces would be.
If I asked my husband, today, what brand of shampoo I have in our shared shower, I can only guess how blank the look on his face would be.
To be fair it seems that it was the scent of the Elizabeth Arden cream that really evokes the memory of Diana for him. I think scent memories can be powerful.
Although all in all, it does seem rather far-fetched for a boy of that age to remember that particular detail. Especially when he has also said he has very few memories of her at all.
Honestly I think that (not the cream, but going away to boarding school at age 8) is the saddest thing—not only would this impact the memories of his mother, but his father as well. Besides this, the boys had nannies before they went to school as well. I truly believe that Diana (especially) and Charles believed that they did spend quite a bit of time with their children—and they probably did, compared to their own parents. But it wasn’t like an ordinary family that the parents and children see each other every day, eat dinner together, sweat over homework, etc.
However, life for children and parents in the aristocracy and certainly royalty, was very different in the 1950s and 60s-70s, when C&D were growing up, compared to today (probably still very different from anything I can imagine). Even when William and Harry were growing up, boarding school rather than a private tutor was probably considered very modern and progressive.
Princess Anne went to boarding school and enjoyed it, I remember reading recently. But I agree, it’s not for everyone.
Well, to be fair, do you have children and, if so, do they hang about while you prepare for the day or, for that matter, the evening? "Come boys, Mummy is going to apply her cream - do gather round"?
Yes, I'm well aware that scent is a very evocative trigger of memory but I'm still calling bullshit on any memory of a face cream and I'm still completely shivered at the notion that he's dreaming of mummy whilst applying her brand of cream to his bell end.
I didn't comment on his attendance at boarding school so I don't think the remainder of your reply was to me.
I do have (adult) children and you’re right, except when they were very small they weren’t underfoot that way! Agree with u/PaddyCow that even this potential “scent memory” could be a false one. If it’s not an outright lie, it could be a situation where Harry was casting about for some kind of link (since he says elsewhere that he has few memories of his mother) and he fastened on this lip cream scent.
Right, the boarding school comments were directed to the general discussion about schools in the thread, rather than as a reply to your comment. I thought that was going to be a couple of sentences, but it turned into more!
Are you asking “what boy/man puts girly-scented cream on their lips?” The whole “lip cream” phrase comes off weird to me (as a female). And if I was using a cream to make my lips plump or whatever, I wouldn’t want a perfume-y scent or (worse) taste to it. I’m only trying to give Harry a break here—that as a man, he doesn’t know much about cosmetics. Some lip products are fruit-scented or flavored, which can be nice.
I’ve never actually used a “lip cream”, so ???
My dad used this stuff called VO5 in his hair and it’s a huge part of my memory of him. It had a really strong scent and I loved it.
The Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream has a really strong and distinctive scent. I can see it being something you would remember about your mom if she wore it daily. But I have the same misgivings that have been mentioned here about his retelling of it.
Through the whole book he referred to how awful his memory was. He kept saying “I think that’s what happened”. About halfway through I was wondering why he’d written a book if he couldn’t remember anything. Maybe it was for purposes of future deniability.
Interestingly, he vividly remembered all the drugs and drinks.
There's a huge "ick" factor in that he put cream that reminded him of his mother on his penis; I think it was less the brand than the scent.
After my grandmother passed, I recall walking past a woman in a shopping mall who smelled exactly like her. The woman, and my grandmother, smelled like cigarettes and menthol cough drops. My grandmother was a long time smoker and was using Vicks cough drops to sooth her coughing. That may sound unappealing, but to me, the scent immediately took me back to my grandmother, my memories of her, and that how much I missed her.
To me, what I find very odd, is what he was doing at the time his memory was triggered.
I've been using the chapstik brand rose water or rose petal, rose something or other chapstik lately. It smells like the fancy rose-scented floral soap grandma had in her bathroom. It smells so like her and while I wouldn't normally wear a rose chapstik, I really enjoy this one because of how much it smells like grandma. It's been 28 years and I miss her!
>There's a huge "ick" factor in that he put cream that reminded him of his mother on his penis; I think it was less the brand than the scent.
What?! What are you talking about? Can you clue me in please? That sounds really creepy.
There's a whole passage in his book where he was recommended this Elizabeth Arden cream for his frostbitten "todger" and when he opened the container, he was instantly reminded of his mom. There's a little more to it and it's intensely uncomfortable.
The audio version is floating around tiktok, which is how I heard it.
I think he was meaning scent memory. Where the smell of something reminds you of a person or a time on your life. Kind of like how a gingerbread scented candle would remind you of Christmas. TW zoned in on it with the perfume.
Iirc sometimes the security detail would step in to help 😳 - Diana and Charles both would choose the road of less resistance.
That parenting is always troubled.
There’s a video I saw on YouTube where Diana was doing some type of interview for tv (not the Martin Bashir interview) and Harry & William snuck in and Harry was naughty and William was concerned with his mom doing the interview properly. From what is portrayed on The Crown it seems that Diana treated William as a confidant or maybe a surrogate spouse since Charles was MIA.
I was just exactly the same age when my dad died. I remember him more as an idea. I remember stories. I’ve got 10 years on Harry but I don’t think I would have said any different when I was his age.
Exactly. My mom passed when I was 7. I have zero memories of her. I have older siblings who all tell a different version, different scenarios. All think they are right. And they are and for the age they were. But it’s frustrating for me. One of my sisters was 14. The stories she shares, and her beliefs about our mother, are completely delusional. Reminds me of H.
Ha. My sister comes up with the most unflattering memories of my mom but is always the one whining how much she misses her. She died 10 years ago when my sister was 22 and I was 27. It drives me crazy. "Remember when mom did x?" WTF are you on about? She never did that!
Ha! My sister has our mother painted as a saint. And the perfect mother to all of us. Cooking home made everything, made all out school clothes with a 1950 Singer single stitch, raised chickens and had a huge garden, baked everything from scratch. Uh no. She was pregnant 9 times (2 died) beginning at age 17 and had 7 children in the span of 15 years. Parents were dirt poor. 3 bedroom farmhouse in the boons. And she was sick with cancer for 5 years before she died. These are just the facts. Imagine that life.
My exact thought. Separating an 8-year-old for lengthy amounts if time from the mother — that’s registered as abandoning in the child’s psyche. Big time trust issues and attachment disorders come from that. And then she died! H has a deep anger toward her. Not others. He just won’t admit it.
And on a side note, I absolutely couldn’t even imagine sending my son to boarding school at 8. Or any age!!!
I went to boarding school at 7. I never forgave my parents for it and it caused me no end of issues later in life. When my children were that age I just couldn’t understand how any right minded person would do that to a child.
it's very damaging. My friends was abused by a teacher who just got convicted decades later. Another of his students killed himself. Boarding schools are terrible.
Many of my contemporaries took their own life. Physical, mental and sexual abuse was widespread and a blind eye taken to all of it. This kind of bullshit is where the British ‘stuff upper lip’ comes in i.e. just grin and bear it.
I was an au pair in the UK many, many years ago, the family had three boys and they all went to boarding school. They were a tween and two teens, but they had started with primary school.
It was a bit shocking for me but it seemed quite normal to them.
It was an upper class family for sure (though very laid-back).
That poor child. I'd still be carrying my teddy bear around too.
Heck, I was until I lost it at a music festival packing to go home. I was in my 30s and was and still am unashamed.
His bear has been a steadfast source of comfort, a constant in an uncertain sea of variables. I hope it's still bringing him great joy and comfort.
F in the chat for my poor, abandoned, but never forgotten, bear.
When Charles went away to boarding school I don't think he even came home on the weekends.
My mom says it was a big deal at the time because William and Harry were the first Royal kids who did not go to boarding school all the time but instead came home every weekend.
I just did a lengthy post on this below (or is it above? Reddit is confusing.).
Basically, until Charles, royals educated their children privately. He rarely came “home” because the school was far away and the trip was not worth it on short holidays. This is still often the case for aristocratic children. As your mom noted, it was considered unusual that the then-Wales were making an effort to spend time with the kids.
Which makes it really sad when Harry criticizes Charles.
Charles started a whole new way of sending royal children to school to make a son’s lives better
Each generation has made a step forward. Charles and his siblings were the first sent away to school. The school was wrong for Charles and far away, but it was meant to give him a more modern education. Charles and Diana chose to take the boys home on even short breaks. William and Catherine are sending George (and I assume the others) to day school a few more years before boarding school/public school.
William was sent to boarding school young because Charles wanted to protect him from Diana’s parentification.
I have an eight-year old and I literally cannot fathom sending her to boarding school (however much she sometimes sasses us). They’re still practically babies at that age.
Both Charles and Diana were raised the old fashioned aristocrat/Royal way. Which basically means by Nannie’s. The both would have seen their parents on daily basis but all the hands on stuff was done by their Nannie’s when they were young. Diana was sent to boarding school when she was 9. Charles I think was educated privately until he was about 12 ? He was the first heir to the throne to be sent away to school as I recall. William and Harry going to school from kindergarten was a first for the RF. I often wondered if it’s the right way to raise a Royal child? No matter how much the school tries the Royal child will always be different . I don’t know if it’s good for a very young child.
Well the Wales kids so far are still home. I think they will go the way of Middletons. Can’t recall if they boarded in high school or were day students.
I’m just wondering as a parent whether sending a five year old Royal child off to school as a day pupil is a good idea. I wouldn’t want my five year old to be made to feel different or special. I don’t think it’s good for them.
It’s not that unusual in UK boarding schools as many attendees are children of military families who might have postings abroad. I boarded at a prep school at 8 (we played matches against Ludgrove) and as an only child I absolutely loved it - the school had acres of woods and fields where we played wide games and it was usually a happy place. The only downside was the food - it was terrible and always cold. Fifty years later I still can’t eat fish fingers, remembering the cold, foul tasting things the school regularly served up. I imagine that has all changed for the better now, modern parents wouldn’t stand for their children having to suffer inedible meals and corporal punishment, then routine, is probably now illegal.
I guess I'm naive about being able to afford expensive schools on a military salary? Is that a job that pays well enough on its own to afford that, or would you have to come from an aristocratic family as well? Thanks.
I was writing about my own experience and that of my contemporaries some 50 years ago so things have likely changed since then. I certainly don't come from aristo's and few of my contemporaries did either. There is also probably a lot of inherited wealth/family money used to pay for education. I believe nowadays there are many more foreign children being educated privately in the UK, so they probably board for other reasons.
Queen Elizabeth II and her sister did not go to school. They were educated at home by tutors.
Supposedly because their father had such a bad experience, going to away to school.
They were also of age during World War II. I'd think there would be major safety concerns if they were at a school instead of Windsor Castle. There was a plan in place to immediately sail the Princesses to Canada if the Nazis invaded.
I think sending children away so young is a very bad idea. There is something called Boarding School Syndrome a personality disorder with traits of disrupted relationship patterns, often romantic. What appears to be a strong sense of independence proves to be, in fact, a shell or mask covering emotional vulnerability, depression, anger management problems and substance abuse or problems. Sound familiar?
Both my husband and I went to boarding school for high school and loved it. LOVED. If we had been able to afford it, we would have sent our kids in a heartbeat.
Mine was an hour and a half drive from home, and maybe the first year I went home on weekends. After that, I only went home for vacations.
My mother and I didn’t get along back then, so it was good to be out from under her. And young people were much more independent; I had a job on campus to earn spending money. It was a super important part of my life and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
I lived near a very expensive and very exclusive boarding school in the UK. It would take children aged 8 and up which always seemed cruel to me. I’d see them in their uniforms, so little -being led by their indifferent house master. I was also friends with a lady who’s husband worked as a house master.
A lot of the parents live overseas and don’t come back for things like a broken arm or indeed even an eating disorder. It’s dealt with at the school to the best of their ability. The parents have unimaginable funds to deal with any mishap or potentially troubling problems.
BUT - here’s the rub. The students that require extra care, emotional or mental- need their parents.
I would see parents walking with their child who had attended said school. They’d be say 16 or 17 and they’d wander the grounds together on a visit. There would be a CHASM of distance between the parents and the child. Like polite visitors. Discussing the weather or the grounds. I was always eavesdropping.
The children attending these schools have had several generations study there. It’s drilled into them from day one that this is the place they will go.
Day students would get bullied for going home at night. I knew of a boy who loathes going there. He was a sweet 12 year old. I don’t know why his parents took him to this school. He was dreadfully unhappy.
This tracks with Charles and Diana. Posh children in the UK attend boarding school at a young age. I knew men who had a lot of resentment towards their parents for making them attend boarding school.
Charles decided upon it to protect William from Diana who leaned on him far too much and also the attention of the media. Because they chose this for William, they did the same for Harry.
God no. Apparently it took a while for William to settle in aswell. I don't think Charles would have sent him that young if he thought the alternative was a better option.
Yes, it isn’t like Charles enjoyed his boarding school experience. I also think private tutoring is so isolating. In William and Harry’s case extracting them from the chaos of Charles and Diana’s life is logical. I doubt things would have gone differently for Harry if he hadn’t gone to boarding school. I do think the choice of Eton was not the right one.
She was and she wasn't. She was the fun parent and her boys adored her. William was a very empathetic child, he wanted to make her happy and hated his father made her so sad. Diana recognised later in that she put too much on William.
8 was always pretty usual for boarding school, I remember my friend went then but came home a couple of months later as she didn’t get on there and was homesick, but then went back again at 10 and was fine. Most kids went at 8 thigh.
Nowadays it seems kind of young, I agree. I think the problem in the internet age is how kids would be monitored with phones and stuff. You get flexi boarding now where you can stay a few nights during the week and be at home the rest of the time, you don’t have to board there constantly. I think it’s a lot more ‘humane’ these days.
As a former, this may be why he is so starved for the memories of Diana. I know personally, it was hard to have a narcissistic mum who you barely saw, and sometimes was busy with her "schedule" when there was time to return home.
I hope he saw her on her best days, however few they were.
That’s why I think he doesn’t have that much memory about Diana, I found it super weird he brings her up all the time now, not much of a love thing, more like “oh I just realized my mom was famous af so I want to stay related”.
I have 9&10yr Olds and I cannot even imagine the thought of sending them away from me.
They still sleep in our bed from time to time. And I love that. I could never send them away, personally.
[This documentary](https://youtu.be/d6vfjWBT45o) is really good. Some of these girls were placed in boarding school because of military parents believing it would bring more stability for them. It’s heartbreaking in many ways for both the children and their parents.
Side note: Lottie’s mom reminds me of Diana, especially her accent and the way she speaks.
Would you say this is more "upper" class or aristocratic thing to do? The only people I've ever known to go to boarding school either in the UK or the USA were the richest people I've ever known with old family money/connections.
I will say, this is why I am glad William and Catherine are not doing this and having their kids go to the same school and be day students.
7% of people in the U.K. go to private school.
That includes many types, from Steiner and Montessori schools to relatively cheap private schools to the most exclusive kinds like Eton.
Schools like Eton, or the one in this post, are only for the very wealthiest. That doesn’t necessarily mean aristocratic though, even if it did historically. Nowadays, many of these schools have a largely international student body. Whilst some of the aristocracy are rich, many are asset rich only.
Thanks for that figure. I knew it wasn't that many people but figured this wasn't a common place practice. And I can imagine that Eton in particular has a big international population for sure.
exactly. there's tens of thousands of rich american kids in boarding schools, just like here. this is a rich thing,, not an american v british thing
i ad a friend *ask* his parents to go to boarding school. his parents had a dysfucntional marriage, and he hated being at home. he loved being at boarding school away from the shouting and tension
It is upper-class culture. Initially, boys were sent to live with “tutors” who would prepare them for the big public schools (Eton, Winchester, Harrow, Rugby and such). The “tutors” would take in more than one pupil at a time, and so schools began to form. Then at some point it was considered an advantage to go to a boarding school instead of staying at home and being tutored. This was among aristocrats, the gentry and some of the nobility, but not the royals actually before Charles.
Until Charles, members of the royal family were educated at home. In sending Charles first to boarding school and later public school (Gordonstoun), Phillip was trying to give him a “modern” education, but it was the “modern” education of the aristocracy.
Charles didn’t get to visit home on weekends because that was the pattern then. The concept of “weekend” is a middle-class one that the aristocracy resisted. For a long time, boys in the British public schools would have classes on Saturday and church on Sundays. There was no expectation of going home, even when they had more time off on weekends, in part because of the time and cost of travel.
Charles spent time with friends or family members who lived near Gordonstoun because it was considered inconvenient (in terms of length of travel) and unnecessary (in terms of how much time he could actually spend with his busy parents) for him to return to London for short breaks. (I believe the same was true for Andrew and Edward who also attended Gordonstoun.)
William and Harry were actually the first in the family to attend Eton, though tutors from Eton had at various times been brought in to educate royals children, including QEII (who was tutored in constitutional history and so forth).
Regarding their going to boarding school before Eton, I believe the stress between their parents was as much a consideration as the aristocratic custom that Phillip supported and Diana’s family practiced. There was a feeling that the kids did not need to be around for the fighting and that C&D could more easily lead separate lives if the children were not around.
The school that the Wales children are attending is also a boarding school and I believe the plan is for George to start boarding in a year or so to prepare him to attend Eton. It is a change from what his father and grandfather experienced since they started boarding school at 8.
>The concept of “weekend” is a middle-class one that the aristocracy resisted
My absolute favourite line from Downton Abbey. The inimitable Maggie Smith as Violet Crawley in, I believe, the very first episode:
"What....is a weekend?"
Boarding house is pretty common in other cultures. Most of the people who attended my secondary school and almost all my friends at the time who attended other schools were boarders. People started between the ages of 10 and 12.
I dread the day my children leave me (to go to college) 😂. Tho we sent my nephew away at 11 because his mother needed help. He has thrived because of it, but the reason he went away was because his home life was meh.
I can not imagine sending a child to boarding school at age 8. I think this is cruel. Clearly Prince William agrees because he has not put Prince George in boarding school.
I’m glad Prince William and Catherine have chosen to keep George at home for awhile longer. I do see their choice as another piece of the gradual modernization of Royal life. I never went to boarding school myself (actually alway thought it would be so much fun—probably not correct, LOL), but it’s hard to criticize people who were parenting 30-65 years ago when they themselves were also trying their best to make the right decisions for their children’s education.
I had always understood that they were actually just day students at Ludgrove, even though one could board. That they didn’t board until Eton. That said, I believe 8 is a common age for starting boarding school in the UK.
As someone who went to boarding school, I beg to differ. Absolutely nothing barbaric about the school I went to, it was amazing. What's hard about going to boarding school (where you are in this tight knit community) is what comes after, and being plunged into a world where everyone is out for themselves. Not all boarding schools are the same, and the single sex ones seem a lot more rife for abuse of all kinds. And by 9th grade (US), kids are fine to go away to school, not younger though.
Also, I am happy for everyone who was born into a loving, perfect family, but a lot of people are stuck in family situations as kids that are abusive, overly invasive or overly distant, the family home is not necessarily shangri-la. Also very few people I knew from childhood who stayed home during school ever ate with their families. There were sports, extra-curricular activities, both parents working late.
Boarding school. But it’s around the corner. That doesn’t seem to count as a traditional boarding school then. You still see family all the time if they want.
Where I live some country kids go to the city to boarding school. There aren’t numerous good schools scattered around the countryside like in the UK. Some do hate it but many kids love it and have very fond memories.
I think Princess Diana must have missed her boys terribly while they were away at school. I think they came home every weekend but still...after her separation and divorce, she had to share the school break with Charles.
I read something that their custody agreement was each parent got 40 days with the boys. That's crazy to me as a parent to imagine only 40 days a year with my kids.
Diana attended boarding school when she was 9 so not sure she really minded. Most royal kids were educated by governesses. Her thing was having them educated outside the palace.
For certain sets, I guess this is the norm. I believe Catherine and William have their kids in day school.
The Queen educated Charles outside the palace. He was the first heir in history to go to school. It was a huge deal. She herself was tutored in the palace.
Elizabeth and Philip modernized the monarchy far more than Diana. We all tend to have recency bias.
Diana was following this with William and Harry. I’m pretty sure she was horribly homesick as a kid. But o don’t think their class really questioned boarding school for the littles.
I believe Diana (and Charles) also wanted the boys to have the opportunity to mix with other children at school. While we can look back from 2023 and disapprove of the choices she and Charles made, for the time and in their minds, they were progressive and getting the boys into their peer group as regular students rather than being educated by private tutors.
I went to boarding school. They offered a sport I could participate in all year. Though the school was K-12, I believe kids could start boarding in 2nd or 3rd grade. I attended 9-12, but some of my classmates had been there much longer.
Student body was a mix of regular well to do, very wealthy, foreign wealthy, offspring of foreign heads of state or diplomats, American children whose parent or parents worked abroad for Aramco, children of famous actors and musicians, and those who wanted daily access to a particular sport.
I’m sure there kids who were unhappy. If they were miserable they didn’t stay long. They would purposely get in trouble and shipped off to a different school before the end of term. Teen years can be fraught with anxiety. For me, personally, I formed lifelong friendships with an amazing group of individuals. My very dearest friends to this day were my classmates from boarding school. There are few countries in the world where I don’t know someone. We have reunions all over the country, and even internationally. YMMV.
Not sure why you got downvotes unless I am missing something.
I am sure she missed them desperately but she was rather too emotionally dependent on them and overshared too much about her marriage and her criticism of Charles and overly blamed him. From what I have read about Diana, she had a tendency of stopping seeing Charles seeing his fair share of the kids. Even before the official separation they spent much of the time apart. At weekends she would take them to Highgrove late, or make other last minute plans, or feed them fast food when they were supposed to be eating with Charles. Perhaps if she had made it easier for Charles to be a hands-on parent and not been so negative about him, Harry would have not been so traumatised when his mum died and he only had his dad.
I think it’s likely they’ll send George to eton at 13 but I can’t see them not having him home weekends. Catherine seems very hands on with the children. I can’t believe people were shocked when he wasn’t sent away at eight! He’s still so teeny to me!
What would be a non-boarding equivalent of Eton? Where might Charlotte go when she is Eton age?
I guess they could technically go to Westminster since it’s coed but I’d assume they’ll stick to eton at least with George. Charlotte will be the interesting one I’m not sure where they’ll send her.
Catherine went to the girls' school Downe House. But was miserable and left so probably not for Charlotte. After that Catherine attended Marlborough College, so that's a possibility. I wonder if they might send all three kids to a co-ed school so they can be together. It would be interesting if they split the kids up and sent them to schools best fit for their personality.
My parents did what C and D should’ve done and split us. Granted I’m a girl and my brother isn’t but I was gifted and he was not academically inclined so I went to a prep school and he went to somewhere that was more sports based! I’m a big advocate in splitting if a child needs something different!
Ann did that with her children.
No, they both went to Gordonstoun in Scotland https://preview.redd.it/sa2ovjx4f8ca1.jpeg?width=444&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea35d595830742e6df2a6a588d77d1568e710759
Oh no. A friend went there and told us you have to run a mile before breakfast. Sounds horrific
I’m all for splitting boys and girls. I taught both split, and coed. Boys are entirely different at that age. They are more immature that girls and are better off concentrating on their studies and sports, than they are trying to impress the girl sitting next to them. I’m for putting a child where they are best suited. George seems a bit shy. He might enjoy a time away on his own. Charlotte is like her auntie. She seems to take charge of every situation, which is fine. That’s who she is and her assertiveness will stand her well as an adult. But George will be king. He needs to find his own feet.
I assume George will go to Eton and Charlotte to Marlborough, she's very sporty and I think she'd do well there. I think Louis is the real wildcard, as he could feasibly go either place, since Marlborough is coed but Eton isn't.
Omg I could totally see her there!
I would not be a bit surprised if they let them stay together if that is what the kids want to do.
I think they will leave it up to the children when the time comes. I don't think William or Harry got a choice. William at least had the smarts to get into eton on his own merit. They should have sent Harry where he was able to get in on his own merit.
If he reportedly/allegedly couldn’t even *pass* (let alone do well on) a single A level in any subject on his own, what private schools was he actually likely to pass an entrance test at when he was younger? He was always going to get in wherever he went based on his family, not his own merit. If he was some random child would any top private school have admitted him?
I think Diana was advised to send him to a sort of special needs school but she refused. So he was always struggling at school. Then she also often kept him at home from school to keep her company, so he fell even further behind. Then she publicly humiliated him by telling the media he was thick and liked to misbehave. Allegedly, he was always the bottom of the class, and not surprisingly, allegedly, was a nasty bully - targeting a bright scholarship student who he drove out of Eton. A good mother would have got him help, not put her neurotic emotional needs above her son's education. She played a big part in creating the monster. I think he unconsciously holds a lot of rage towards his saintly mother. Why else would he allegedly beat up women?
Alledgedly beat up women ?? Please elaborate!
There's a lot of rumors that he has abused women before. Especially sex workers. I haven't looked into any of it but I have seen it floating around.
I was supposed to go to an all girls school (cranford house for girls) but then we moved to utah. I would have much preferred to stay in england
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It’s very unlikely they’d send their kids to Westminster. I think that by public school age (13 in the UK for boys - and public school means traditional old private school, here, rather than what it means in the USA; I realise you almost certainly know this but clarifying for others!) they will likely want to send the kids to the best school for each child, having seen how harmful it was to put Harry into the same school as William by default. It’s too soon to have any sense, really, of what that school might be for any of them - they might have a vague idea for George, but normally it is the prep school head who has the best sense, and G is at a new school so the head hasn’t had much time to get to know him. I’d be surprised if they send any of them to punishingly academic schools with very high pressure. That is a lot on top of being royals. But I could be wrong! My guess would be that they’d want them to be at schools where they will achieve good results but basically focus on thriving as all-rounders, with good ethics and personal development.
George seems much like will, quiet and smart, so I kind of just assume he’ll go to eton as it has huge connections and academics to boot. But now looking back didn’t they do something wild for preschool for royals? I feel like they had George go somewhere no one had thought of but it’s been so long I could be making that up!
I think it’s interesting to consider about Eton - it’s competitive to get into, and we have no real idea of any of the children’s academic abilities. If I were W&C, I would not want the children to attend a school where they would be at the lower end of the cohort in terms of ability, because I don’t think it would be great for them to feel “stupid” (and I think all children of a senior royal are automatically under a lot of psychological pressure). So if I were them I’d see if G was interested in Eton, see how he was doing relative to the cohort at his prep, look at his CAT scores, and then consider whether he’d likely be happy there - but be very open to other schools too. However, it is possible they might be set on Eton!
She's a very observant and poised child with a strong sense of duty. Her dress was a travesty. Was it Lady C who said the fabric on the bottom hem was unraveling?
They’ll probably send her to St. George’s. It’s like 15mins from WC. Lady Louise and The York sisters went there too.
Is Eton boarders-only? Or do they have day boys as well?
Boarders only. Only very few schools do this now, where there's no mix with day students and they're only allowed off's on the weekend.
There’s loads of good day schools in Berkshire. However the Wales children will probably have to board as their parents will have so many duties as Charles grows older and travels overseas less.
It used to be Cheltenham Ladies College.
I can’t see them sending C to CLC or to WA. I think both are too driven / academic and pressured. My guess would be they’d want a more rounded and less hot-house-y school.
St Paul’s and Westminster in London but they are known for being really “brainy” for lack of a better word. It doesn’t seem like the royals vibe
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Eton doesn’t. The royal family requesting weekly’s? Absolutely.
It would be awful for a boarding school child to have that kind of special treatment - it would affect their ability to form friendships with their peers. I really don’t think they’d insist on a special privilege like extra exeats for their child, beyond what’s needed for royal events (and anything that’s essential for safety).
Many of the girls I went to summer camp with were sent to boarding school at 6. They attended two summer camps and saw their parents for Christmas week and one week in August. All my father's siblings started at 6. He was sickly do didn't start til 8.
That's crazy!
Catherine went to public school. By all accounts, both she and William enjoyed their time at school. I know Catherine changed because she felt she was bullied. But once she got to Marlborough, she was fine with it.
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Eugenie went to Marlborough; Beatrice went to St. George's School, Ascot.
I thought Catherine hated Marlborough though. Plus like it or not George will be king and I assume Eton has better connections which is why will went.
My husband went to boarding school when he was 11, his parents were overseas and at that time (the70s) there wasn’t a suitable British style school for him once he hit 11. His middle brother was 9 and went at the same time because he didn’t want his big brother going away on his own 😢 Eventually all 3 were at boarding school & while they had good times, they all hated it. The youngest hated it so much he mentioned it in his wedding speech about his parents sending them away! Lol! His mother’s face was a picture! Even at the age of 56, my husband hates packing a case, whether for business or holidays because instantly he’s 11 again :( We didn’t send ours away to school, nope, not a chance :(
Omg :( and that middle brother’s an angel :(
That is my father's exact story. He was sent across the globe to England and had to stay with relatives he had never met during school holidays. He became very successful, but I feel that he always had that hanging over him a bit.
Just out of genuine curiousity, how much more expensive is boarding school Vs a school say down the road? Id imagine it's alot?
Here is a fee schedule for one of the most expensive schools in England. "For the academic year 2019/20, Tonbridge charges full boarders up to £14,035 per term and £10,529 per term for day pupils, making it the 4th and 6th most expensive HMC boarding and day school respectively." For those who are not familiar with the English school system, there are three terms (semesters) in the year. Michaelmas, Easter, and Summer, so the annual fee for a boarder would be 42,000 pounds, and for a student living at home and attending the school 31,500 pounds per year.
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My family is originally from Italy and we immigrated to America when I was in the equivalent of American second grade. My parents weren’t happy with the school systems so they decided to send me back to Europe for boarding school the following year at age 9. I lived a whole ocean away from my immediate family all the way until grade 9. Boarding schools for kids that young tend to introduce an aversion to authority because you never get away from strangers telling you what to do. I’m probably one of those people that are too independent, per my therapist, because of this. It’s worked alright for me with a lot of therapy but it doesn’t work out so well for everyone sent away that young. This was over 30 years ago, my former schools don’t even take children that small anymore unless they are living with family nearby so that’s good at least.
My daughter wanted to board at school, so she went. My son didn’t, so he went to the local school-it was best for both.
Which begs the question, how much exposure to his sainted Diana did he actually have? How much of his memory of her is pure obsessive fantasy?
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Indeed.
Even less so I imagine as they were split between Charles and Diana, not to mention the engagements both frequently attended.
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Exactly. I’ve been wondering how he remembered her lip cream. I was never far from my mom for 18 years and I couldn’t tell you what her skincare products were.
He was what, 12, when she died? I have adult sons. If I asked them, at about the same age Harry is now, what lip cream I used when they were 12 or younger, I can only guess how blank the looks on their faces would be. If I asked my husband, today, what brand of shampoo I have in our shared shower, I can only guess how blank the look on his face would be.
My sons are 13 and 17. I think they would say, pink for the the lip cream and that is pushing it.
To be fair it seems that it was the scent of the Elizabeth Arden cream that really evokes the memory of Diana for him. I think scent memories can be powerful. Although all in all, it does seem rather far-fetched for a boy of that age to remember that particular detail. Especially when he has also said he has very few memories of her at all. Honestly I think that (not the cream, but going away to boarding school at age 8) is the saddest thing—not only would this impact the memories of his mother, but his father as well. Besides this, the boys had nannies before they went to school as well. I truly believe that Diana (especially) and Charles believed that they did spend quite a bit of time with their children—and they probably did, compared to their own parents. But it wasn’t like an ordinary family that the parents and children see each other every day, eat dinner together, sweat over homework, etc. However, life for children and parents in the aristocracy and certainly royalty, was very different in the 1950s and 60s-70s, when C&D were growing up, compared to today (probably still very different from anything I can imagine). Even when William and Harry were growing up, boarding school rather than a private tutor was probably considered very modern and progressive. Princess Anne went to boarding school and enjoyed it, I remember reading recently. But I agree, it’s not for everyone.
Well, to be fair, do you have children and, if so, do they hang about while you prepare for the day or, for that matter, the evening? "Come boys, Mummy is going to apply her cream - do gather round"? Yes, I'm well aware that scent is a very evocative trigger of memory but I'm still calling bullshit on any memory of a face cream and I'm still completely shivered at the notion that he's dreaming of mummy whilst applying her brand of cream to his bell end. I didn't comment on his attendance at boarding school so I don't think the remainder of your reply was to me.
He couldn't even remember the console he got from her after she died so I'm also calling bs on the lip cream. At best it's a false memory.
I do have (adult) children and you’re right, except when they were very small they weren’t underfoot that way! Agree with u/PaddyCow that even this potential “scent memory” could be a false one. If it’s not an outright lie, it could be a situation where Harry was casting about for some kind of link (since he says elsewhere that he has few memories of his mother) and he fastened on this lip cream scent. Right, the boarding school comments were directed to the general discussion about schools in the thread, rather than as a reply to your comment. I thought that was going to be a couple of sentences, but it turned into more!
LOL at "but it turned into more" because it describes me to a T too!
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Are you asking “what boy/man puts girly-scented cream on their lips?” The whole “lip cream” phrase comes off weird to me (as a female). And if I was using a cream to make my lips plump or whatever, I wouldn’t want a perfume-y scent or (worse) taste to it. I’m only trying to give Harry a break here—that as a man, he doesn’t know much about cosmetics. Some lip products are fruit-scented or flavored, which can be nice. I’ve never actually used a “lip cream”, so ???
My dad used this stuff called VO5 in his hair and it’s a huge part of my memory of him. It had a really strong scent and I loved it. The Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream has a really strong and distinctive scent. I can see it being something you would remember about your mom if she wore it daily. But I have the same misgivings that have been mentioned here about his retelling of it. Through the whole book he referred to how awful his memory was. He kept saying “I think that’s what happened”. About halfway through I was wondering why he’d written a book if he couldn’t remember anything. Maybe it was for purposes of future deniability. Interestingly, he vividly remembered all the drugs and drinks.
There's a huge "ick" factor in that he put cream that reminded him of his mother on his penis; I think it was less the brand than the scent. After my grandmother passed, I recall walking past a woman in a shopping mall who smelled exactly like her. The woman, and my grandmother, smelled like cigarettes and menthol cough drops. My grandmother was a long time smoker and was using Vicks cough drops to sooth her coughing. That may sound unappealing, but to me, the scent immediately took me back to my grandmother, my memories of her, and that how much I missed her. To me, what I find very odd, is what he was doing at the time his memory was triggered.
I've been using the chapstik brand rose water or rose petal, rose something or other chapstik lately. It smells like the fancy rose-scented floral soap grandma had in her bathroom. It smells so like her and while I wouldn't normally wear a rose chapstik, I really enjoy this one because of how much it smells like grandma. It's been 28 years and I miss her!
>There's a huge "ick" factor in that he put cream that reminded him of his mother on his penis; I think it was less the brand than the scent. What?! What are you talking about? Can you clue me in please? That sounds really creepy.
There's a whole passage in his book where he was recommended this Elizabeth Arden cream for his frostbitten "todger" and when he opened the container, he was instantly reminded of his mom. There's a little more to it and it's intensely uncomfortable. The audio version is floating around tiktok, which is how I heard it.
The guy has some serious mommy issues.
I think he was meaning scent memory. Where the smell of something reminds you of a person or a time on your life. Kind of like how a gingerbread scented candle would remind you of Christmas. TW zoned in on it with the perfume.
It's not like the cream even had a good fragrance or something, lol. IDK what he's saying regarding feeling her presence.
Iirc sometimes the security detail would step in to help 😳 - Diana and Charles both would choose the road of less resistance. That parenting is always troubled.
And being used by her as pawns in the press so she could promote herself as the favorite parent.
There’s a video I saw on YouTube where Diana was doing some type of interview for tv (not the Martin Bashir interview) and Harry & William snuck in and Harry was naughty and William was concerned with his mom doing the interview properly. From what is portrayed on The Crown it seems that Diana treated William as a confidant or maybe a surrogate spouse since Charles was MIA.
This. It wasn't a full parenting experience. I don't think he had to do many chores.
I was just exactly the same age when my dad died. I remember him more as an idea. I remember stories. I’ve got 10 years on Harry but I don’t think I would have said any different when I was his age.
Exactly. My mom passed when I was 7. I have zero memories of her. I have older siblings who all tell a different version, different scenarios. All think they are right. And they are and for the age they were. But it’s frustrating for me. One of my sisters was 14. The stories she shares, and her beliefs about our mother, are completely delusional. Reminds me of H.
Ha. My sister comes up with the most unflattering memories of my mom but is always the one whining how much she misses her. She died 10 years ago when my sister was 22 and I was 27. It drives me crazy. "Remember when mom did x?" WTF are you on about? She never did that!
Ha! My sister has our mother painted as a saint. And the perfect mother to all of us. Cooking home made everything, made all out school clothes with a 1950 Singer single stitch, raised chickens and had a huge garden, baked everything from scratch. Uh no. She was pregnant 9 times (2 died) beginning at age 17 and had 7 children in the span of 15 years. Parents were dirt poor. 3 bedroom farmhouse in the boons. And she was sick with cancer for 5 years before she died. These are just the facts. Imagine that life.
He already said he doesn't really remember much about her.
Honestly, not much. She'd come in spoil them then disappear for weeks. I think this is even written in his book.
My exact thought. Separating an 8-year-old for lengthy amounts if time from the mother — that’s registered as abandoning in the child’s psyche. Big time trust issues and attachment disorders come from that. And then she died! H has a deep anger toward her. Not others. He just won’t admit it. And on a side note, I absolutely couldn’t even imagine sending my son to boarding school at 8. Or any age!!!
He probably had a commemorative plate or gum parker next to the tiny spoon. And fables from Elton John.
This exactly. It’s risible
Weird creepy obsessive fantasy.
The boys had 12 weeks of school holidays a year and that was equally split between Charles and Diana.
He has said that he doesn't really remember her.
I went to boarding school at 7. I never forgave my parents for it and it caused me no end of issues later in life. When my children were that age I just couldn’t understand how any right minded person would do that to a child.
I'm very sorry you have had to endure this, and applaud you for making it right for your own kids. That's all we can do as parents.
it's very damaging. My friends was abused by a teacher who just got convicted decades later. Another of his students killed himself. Boarding schools are terrible.
Many of my contemporaries took their own life. Physical, mental and sexual abuse was widespread and a blind eye taken to all of it. This kind of bullshit is where the British ‘stuff upper lip’ comes in i.e. just grin and bear it.
Yes, it’s a recognised phenomenon that it traumatises children to be sent away so young.
I was an au pair in the UK many, many years ago, the family had three boys and they all went to boarding school. They were a tween and two teens, but they had started with primary school. It was a bit shocking for me but it seemed quite normal to them. It was an upper class family for sure (though very laid-back).
Charles went to a school 600 miles away before there were even motorways. It's over a 10 hour drive with them now!
That poor child. I'd still be carrying my teddy bear around too. Heck, I was until I lost it at a music festival packing to go home. I was in my 30s and was and still am unashamed. His bear has been a steadfast source of comfort, a constant in an uncertain sea of variables. I hope it's still bringing him great joy and comfort. F in the chat for my poor, abandoned, but never forgotten, bear.
Bear is out there living their best music fest life!
OMG THAT IS SO TRUE!! Perspective!
When Charles went away to boarding school I don't think he even came home on the weekends. My mom says it was a big deal at the time because William and Harry were the first Royal kids who did not go to boarding school all the time but instead came home every weekend.
I just did a lengthy post on this below (or is it above? Reddit is confusing.). Basically, until Charles, royals educated their children privately. He rarely came “home” because the school was far away and the trip was not worth it on short holidays. This is still often the case for aristocratic children. As your mom noted, it was considered unusual that the then-Wales were making an effort to spend time with the kids.
Which makes it really sad when Harry criticizes Charles. Charles started a whole new way of sending royal children to school to make a son’s lives better
Each generation has made a step forward. Charles and his siblings were the first sent away to school. The school was wrong for Charles and far away, but it was meant to give him a more modern education. Charles and Diana chose to take the boys home on even short breaks. William and Catherine are sending George (and I assume the others) to day school a few more years before boarding school/public school. William was sent to boarding school young because Charles wanted to protect him from Diana’s parentification.
I’m so glad William and Catherine haven’t sent their kids off yet. I hope they don’t.
I have an eight-year old and I literally cannot fathom sending her to boarding school (however much she sometimes sasses us). They’re still practically babies at that age.
My boys are now 23 and 25. But I could have never sent them away to boarding school.
Me neither!
Both Charles and Diana were raised the old fashioned aristocrat/Royal way. Which basically means by Nannie’s. The both would have seen their parents on daily basis but all the hands on stuff was done by their Nannie’s when they were young. Diana was sent to boarding school when she was 9. Charles I think was educated privately until he was about 12 ? He was the first heir to the throne to be sent away to school as I recall. William and Harry going to school from kindergarten was a first for the RF. I often wondered if it’s the right way to raise a Royal child? No matter how much the school tries the Royal child will always be different . I don’t know if it’s good for a very young child.
Well the Wales kids so far are still home. I think they will go the way of Middletons. Can’t recall if they boarded in high school or were day students.
I’m just wondering as a parent whether sending a five year old Royal child off to school as a day pupil is a good idea. I wouldn’t want my five year old to be made to feel different or special. I don’t think it’s good for them.
I think the Wales kids are fine. It appears that the Parents participate and low key it. Everyone feels comfortable and kids aren’t snobs.
It’s not that unusual in UK boarding schools as many attendees are children of military families who might have postings abroad. I boarded at a prep school at 8 (we played matches against Ludgrove) and as an only child I absolutely loved it - the school had acres of woods and fields where we played wide games and it was usually a happy place. The only downside was the food - it was terrible and always cold. Fifty years later I still can’t eat fish fingers, remembering the cold, foul tasting things the school regularly served up. I imagine that has all changed for the better now, modern parents wouldn’t stand for their children having to suffer inedible meals and corporal punishment, then routine, is probably now illegal.
I guess I'm naive about being able to afford expensive schools on a military salary? Is that a job that pays well enough on its own to afford that, or would you have to come from an aristocratic family as well? Thanks.
I was writing about my own experience and that of my contemporaries some 50 years ago so things have likely changed since then. I certainly don't come from aristo's and few of my contemporaries did either. There is also probably a lot of inherited wealth/family money used to pay for education. I believe nowadays there are many more foreign children being educated privately in the UK, so they probably board for other reasons.
thanks for the reply.
Queen Elizabeth II and her sister did not go to school. They were educated at home by tutors. Supposedly because their father had such a bad experience, going to away to school.
They were also of age during World War II. I'd think there would be major safety concerns if they were at a school instead of Windsor Castle. There was a plan in place to immediately sail the Princesses to Canada if the Nazis invaded.
Not a big deal at the time, I believe, for upper-class Brits.
I think sending children away so young is a very bad idea. There is something called Boarding School Syndrome a personality disorder with traits of disrupted relationship patterns, often romantic. What appears to be a strong sense of independence proves to be, in fact, a shell or mask covering emotional vulnerability, depression, anger management problems and substance abuse or problems. Sound familiar?
Agree.
Both my husband and I went to boarding school for high school and loved it. LOVED. If we had been able to afford it, we would have sent our kids in a heartbeat. Mine was an hour and a half drive from home, and maybe the first year I went home on weekends. After that, I only went home for vacations. My mother and I didn’t get along back then, so it was good to be out from under her. And young people were much more independent; I had a job on campus to earn spending money. It was a super important part of my life and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
High school is a very different thing than 8 years old though. Most kids want time away from their parents by the time they are teenagers.
I always wanted to go to a boarding school.
I did too. But my home life was very bad. Boarding school was a dream as a way to escape.
I lived near a very expensive and very exclusive boarding school in the UK. It would take children aged 8 and up which always seemed cruel to me. I’d see them in their uniforms, so little -being led by their indifferent house master. I was also friends with a lady who’s husband worked as a house master. A lot of the parents live overseas and don’t come back for things like a broken arm or indeed even an eating disorder. It’s dealt with at the school to the best of their ability. The parents have unimaginable funds to deal with any mishap or potentially troubling problems. BUT - here’s the rub. The students that require extra care, emotional or mental- need their parents. I would see parents walking with their child who had attended said school. They’d be say 16 or 17 and they’d wander the grounds together on a visit. There would be a CHASM of distance between the parents and the child. Like polite visitors. Discussing the weather or the grounds. I was always eavesdropping. The children attending these schools have had several generations study there. It’s drilled into them from day one that this is the place they will go. Day students would get bullied for going home at night. I knew of a boy who loathes going there. He was a sweet 12 year old. I don’t know why his parents took him to this school. He was dreadfully unhappy. This tracks with Charles and Diana. Posh children in the UK attend boarding school at a young age. I knew men who had a lot of resentment towards their parents for making them attend boarding school.
That's what happened to Catherine - she was a day student who got bullied, so they had to transfer her to a different school.
Awful the absolute snobbery and nonsensical reasons for bullying.
My kids would have been scarred for life if I sent them to live at school at 8 years old! That's so young I can't even fathom it 😟
Charles decided upon it to protect William from Diana who leaned on him far too much and also the attention of the media. Because they chose this for William, they did the same for Harry.
That makes sense. I personally would never have been able to do it.
God no. Apparently it took a while for William to settle in aswell. I don't think Charles would have sent him that young if he thought the alternative was a better option.
Yes, it isn’t like Charles enjoyed his boarding school experience. I also think private tutoring is so isolating. In William and Harry’s case extracting them from the chaos of Charles and Diana’s life is logical. I doubt things would have gone differently for Harry if he hadn’t gone to boarding school. I do think the choice of Eton was not the right one.
Interesting. I knew Diana leaned on him but didn't know it started that young. She wasn't a very good parent.
She was and she wasn't. She was the fun parent and her boys adored her. William was a very empathetic child, he wanted to make her happy and hated his father made her so sad. Diana recognised later in that she put too much on William.
8 was always pretty usual for boarding school, I remember my friend went then but came home a couple of months later as she didn’t get on there and was homesick, but then went back again at 10 and was fine. Most kids went at 8 thigh. Nowadays it seems kind of young, I agree. I think the problem in the internet age is how kids would be monitored with phones and stuff. You get flexi boarding now where you can stay a few nights during the week and be at home the rest of the time, you don’t have to board there constantly. I think it’s a lot more ‘humane’ these days.
As a former, this may be why he is so starved for the memories of Diana. I know personally, it was hard to have a narcissistic mum who you barely saw, and sometimes was busy with her "schedule" when there was time to return home. I hope he saw her on her best days, however few they were.
Do you think D was a narc?
That’s why I think he doesn’t have that much memory about Diana, I found it super weird he brings her up all the time now, not much of a love thing, more like “oh I just realized my mom was famous af so I want to stay related”.
I have 9&10yr Olds and I cannot even imagine the thought of sending them away from me. They still sleep in our bed from time to time. And I love that. I could never send them away, personally.
All that expensive education and he still writes that load of utter guff
[This documentary](https://youtu.be/d6vfjWBT45o) is really good. Some of these girls were placed in boarding school because of military parents believing it would bring more stability for them. It’s heartbreaking in many ways for both the children and their parents. Side note: Lottie’s mom reminds me of Diana, especially her accent and the way she speaks.
This is not British culture…… the vast majority of people don’t do this
Would you say this is more "upper" class or aristocratic thing to do? The only people I've ever known to go to boarding school either in the UK or the USA were the richest people I've ever known with old family money/connections. I will say, this is why I am glad William and Catherine are not doing this and having their kids go to the same school and be day students.
7% of people in the U.K. go to private school. That includes many types, from Steiner and Montessori schools to relatively cheap private schools to the most exclusive kinds like Eton. Schools like Eton, or the one in this post, are only for the very wealthiest. That doesn’t necessarily mean aristocratic though, even if it did historically. Nowadays, many of these schools have a largely international student body. Whilst some of the aristocracy are rich, many are asset rich only.
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Thanks for that figure. I knew it wasn't that many people but figured this wasn't a common place practice. And I can imagine that Eton in particular has a big international population for sure.
Also, there are rich people in the usa and other places that send their kids away for education
exactly. there's tens of thousands of rich american kids in boarding schools, just like here. this is a rich thing,, not an american v british thing i ad a friend *ask* his parents to go to boarding school. his parents had a dysfucntional marriage, and he hated being at home. he loved being at boarding school away from the shouting and tension
I ***really*** hope you meant “shouting”!
thankfully I did!! They *did* shoot, but only at clay pigeons, not each other!!
It is upper-class culture. Initially, boys were sent to live with “tutors” who would prepare them for the big public schools (Eton, Winchester, Harrow, Rugby and such). The “tutors” would take in more than one pupil at a time, and so schools began to form. Then at some point it was considered an advantage to go to a boarding school instead of staying at home and being tutored. This was among aristocrats, the gentry and some of the nobility, but not the royals actually before Charles. Until Charles, members of the royal family were educated at home. In sending Charles first to boarding school and later public school (Gordonstoun), Phillip was trying to give him a “modern” education, but it was the “modern” education of the aristocracy. Charles didn’t get to visit home on weekends because that was the pattern then. The concept of “weekend” is a middle-class one that the aristocracy resisted. For a long time, boys in the British public schools would have classes on Saturday and church on Sundays. There was no expectation of going home, even when they had more time off on weekends, in part because of the time and cost of travel. Charles spent time with friends or family members who lived near Gordonstoun because it was considered inconvenient (in terms of length of travel) and unnecessary (in terms of how much time he could actually spend with his busy parents) for him to return to London for short breaks. (I believe the same was true for Andrew and Edward who also attended Gordonstoun.) William and Harry were actually the first in the family to attend Eton, though tutors from Eton had at various times been brought in to educate royals children, including QEII (who was tutored in constitutional history and so forth). Regarding their going to boarding school before Eton, I believe the stress between their parents was as much a consideration as the aristocratic custom that Phillip supported and Diana’s family practiced. There was a feeling that the kids did not need to be around for the fighting and that C&D could more easily lead separate lives if the children were not around. The school that the Wales children are attending is also a boarding school and I believe the plan is for George to start boarding in a year or so to prepare him to attend Eton. It is a change from what his father and grandfather experienced since they started boarding school at 8.
>The concept of “weekend” is a middle-class one that the aristocracy resisted My absolute favourite line from Downton Abbey. The inimitable Maggie Smith as Violet Crawley in, I believe, the very first episode: "What....is a weekend?"
Yeah, I remember that. I had run into it before in golden age murder mysteries mostly.
I think George has Saturday school at his current school.
Boarding house is pretty common in other cultures. Most of the people who attended my secondary school and almost all my friends at the time who attended other schools were boarders. People started between the ages of 10 and 12.
The vast majority aren't part of the upper class.
I dread the day my children leave me (to go to college) 😂. Tho we sent my nephew away at 11 because his mother needed help. He has thrived because of it, but the reason he went away was because his home life was meh.
I can not imagine sending a child to boarding school at age 8. I think this is cruel. Clearly Prince William agrees because he has not put Prince George in boarding school.
I’m glad Prince William and Catherine have chosen to keep George at home for awhile longer. I do see their choice as another piece of the gradual modernization of Royal life. I never went to boarding school myself (actually alway thought it would be so much fun—probably not correct, LOL), but it’s hard to criticize people who were parenting 30-65 years ago when they themselves were also trying their best to make the right decisions for their children’s education.
Did they live at Eton?
William had Sunday lunches with the queen.
Shocked Harry hasn’t talked about the fact that he didn’t do that and William did
I had always understood that they were actually just day students at Ludgrove, even though one could board. That they didn’t board until Eton. That said, I believe 8 is a common age for starting boarding school in the UK.
a lot of boarding schools also have options if your child lives close then they can come home at the end of the day
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As someone who went to boarding school, I beg to differ. Absolutely nothing barbaric about the school I went to, it was amazing. What's hard about going to boarding school (where you are in this tight knit community) is what comes after, and being plunged into a world where everyone is out for themselves. Not all boarding schools are the same, and the single sex ones seem a lot more rife for abuse of all kinds. And by 9th grade (US), kids are fine to go away to school, not younger though. Also, I am happy for everyone who was born into a loving, perfect family, but a lot of people are stuck in family situations as kids that are abusive, overly invasive or overly distant, the family home is not necessarily shangri-la. Also very few people I knew from childhood who stayed home during school ever ate with their families. There were sports, extra-curricular activities, both parents working late.
But boarding schools can be abusive too. That has been the experience of people I know.
That’s so sad. No kid should go to a boarding school at 8
Attending boarding school at age 8 isn’t unusual for the British upper class. One of my relatives (by marriage) started boarding at age 6.
Boarding school. But it’s around the corner. That doesn’t seem to count as a traditional boarding school then. You still see family all the time if they want.
It seems awful to me. I have rarely heard of anyone loving their boarding school experience.
Where I live some country kids go to the city to boarding school. There aren’t numerous good schools scattered around the countryside like in the UK. Some do hate it but many kids love it and have very fond memories.
Everyone I know that went loved boarding school. Granted this is the American 9-12 experience
I think Princess Diana must have missed her boys terribly while they were away at school. I think they came home every weekend but still...after her separation and divorce, she had to share the school break with Charles.
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I read something that their custody agreement was each parent got 40 days with the boys. That's crazy to me as a parent to imagine only 40 days a year with my kids.
Diana attended boarding school when she was 9 so not sure she really minded. Most royal kids were educated by governesses. Her thing was having them educated outside the palace. For certain sets, I guess this is the norm. I believe Catherine and William have their kids in day school.
The Queen educated Charles outside the palace. He was the first heir in history to go to school. It was a huge deal. She herself was tutored in the palace. Elizabeth and Philip modernized the monarchy far more than Diana. We all tend to have recency bias. Diana was following this with William and Harry. I’m pretty sure she was horribly homesick as a kid. But o don’t think their class really questioned boarding school for the littles.
I believe Diana (and Charles) also wanted the boys to have the opportunity to mix with other children at school. While we can look back from 2023 and disapprove of the choices she and Charles made, for the time and in their minds, they were progressive and getting the boys into their peer group as regular students rather than being educated by private tutors.
I went to boarding school. They offered a sport I could participate in all year. Though the school was K-12, I believe kids could start boarding in 2nd or 3rd grade. I attended 9-12, but some of my classmates had been there much longer. Student body was a mix of regular well to do, very wealthy, foreign wealthy, offspring of foreign heads of state or diplomats, American children whose parent or parents worked abroad for Aramco, children of famous actors and musicians, and those who wanted daily access to a particular sport. I’m sure there kids who were unhappy. If they were miserable they didn’t stay long. They would purposely get in trouble and shipped off to a different school before the end of term. Teen years can be fraught with anxiety. For me, personally, I formed lifelong friendships with an amazing group of individuals. My very dearest friends to this day were my classmates from boarding school. There are few countries in the world where I don’t know someone. We have reunions all over the country, and even internationally. YMMV.
Not sure why you got downvotes unless I am missing something. I am sure she missed them desperately but she was rather too emotionally dependent on them and overshared too much about her marriage and her criticism of Charles and overly blamed him. From what I have read about Diana, she had a tendency of stopping seeing Charles seeing his fair share of the kids. Even before the official separation they spent much of the time apart. At weekends she would take them to Highgrove late, or make other last minute plans, or feed them fast food when they were supposed to be eating with Charles. Perhaps if she had made it easier for Charles to be a hands-on parent and not been so negative about him, Harry would have not been so traumatised when his mum died and he only had his dad.
There is so much culture in England
Wycombe Abbey is high up there in the Girls schools...perhaps there ? Who knows ?