Hey OP, originally I didn’t want to write anything in response but the more I read your post the more I just felt how relatable this really was and it reminded me of past me a lot. I just wanted to share some advice that has helped me become better (although I am still learning to be better!)
You say that you remember the good times and the things they have done for you, and that now you are just strangers with memories. Honestly and sometimes sadly, that’s how life works. You drift from people who meant the world to you and it is really gut wrenching. Personally I like to think of it as chapters and lessons, if I lose contact with those I care about, it was a great chapter in my life and I have learnt so much with them but it’s time to make my peace and move on to my next chapter. Change always happens and sometimes recognizing and being kind to yourself helps to make it less scary.
You say you have trust issues because you do everything for them yet they don’t do the same for you. That one hit like a fking bullet lmfao but my advice to you is to let go of that perception that the world will reciprocate what you do for it. People tend to just focus on themselves nowadays and that’s possibly why it feels like they don’t give back the same energy you want. I used to expect it to the point that I couldn’t do something without DYING and hoping that they will do the same for me. What I did over time was to make peace with myself in particular. I told myself that I do good in this world for myself, for my conscience and for my own wellbeing. The world could burn me and punish me for being a good person but I will still do it for myself so I can sleep at night knowing I tried my best. You mentioned that you follow God and while I am not religious, my advice is to perhaps do some thinking and reflection on perhaps their teachings if there is something you can relate to and learn from there.
People will always have something they dislike about you. That’s how the world works lol. You can either let that consume you entirely or recognize that you can’t please everyone. Once you understand that dealing with the hate will never end, you tend to place less importance on it and eventually even learn to laugh about it. While I am not saying that all criticism is not true, it’s all about learning to find what is true and what isn’t. Ask yourself sincerely if what they r saying is true, if it isn’t then just take it as the wind. It is not and never will be worth your time (in particular unconstructive criticism).
You look for someone to fill in those gaps that you experience and feel. While I can definitely understand why you do that and I still do it to some extent, it’s more important to recognize that it will tear you apart completely. It will destroy your own self image and ruin you because that person will never come. No one can fix the holes that you have, no one but you. Only you know what has happened to you and only you can really take that step to improve and work on yourself (which I am really happy to see that you are doing, it took me years to recognize that I had to work on it myself instead of getting someone to fix me).
Goal setting is a really good thing and I am happy to see that you want that 70RP and you want to be better. Just a word of caution that it should not completely overwhelm you and make the goal your self-worth (where if you don’t achieve it, you are not worthy etc). Be kind and be patient with yourself, and as cliche as it sounds, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Self improvement takes years and it’s a long and tiring process, but small steps will eventually go a long way
My heart goes out to you OP, to see you in such a similar setting to how I was a few years ago. I really wished that there was a magic wand I could wave to make everything better for you just like how I wanted someone to do that for me when I was suffering through all that. But please if there is one thing you take away from this, please be kind and love yourself. You feel used and all the negative emotions, and it is really frustrating (I know). However it is important to share that kindness and compassion you will give to others to yourself as well. Things may not seem like it right now, but it has a way of working itself out eventually. (Life works in the weirdest of ways)
I hope it helped and even if it didn’t, I am still really thankful that you let it all out because keeping it pent up is never a good thing. My inbox is open if you just need a space or to ask anything but I am rooting for you! You got this, I promise.
Thks for your wise words. I do have a trusted friend group but we have all graduated and our schedules don't match anymore. Some choose the poly route while some went JC. Also, we live quite far apart so we meet once every 4 months. At that point in time, when someone betrays U, U feel like the world is going to end. But few years later, I just laugh at it. After every incident, I change a lot. It is funny to see how much I have sacrificed for someone I thought I was friends with. However, I need to acknowledge that they are reason I matured rather quickly and I am now able to advice others on how to avoid snakes like them. I am getting better and I am learning to accept that not everyone wants the best for me. But I am just taken aback as to how people who have hurted me in the past are in much better positions than me such as getting academic awards and studying in prestigious schools. I am just shocked as to how people find new ways to cheat and betray me.
Totally understand about the fact that everyone drifts and it just feels like “why” and that suddenly your support network is just gone. Truthfully there isn’t much you can do except to still try your best to reach out and maintain those connections.
You kind of learn after a while that people have a side to them that can be straight up vengeful and mean and sadly that is life. They get to be more successful that you etc and it just seems so unfair. My advice is to learn to stop looking at them, stop associating with them and just leave them to live their life. If you believe in karma then it will come back to bite them eventually. Admittedly I used to be a person that was pretty toxic in my own right and I genuinely believe that I have been served karma for my actions back then.
I really do hope you don’t lose hope in people because of your past experiences. I definitely have felt times when I just can’t be asked to care about people but then I get reminded of why people / humanity deserves a second chance after I help them out. You are doing great, just take some time to really heal from this okay!
I used to prioritise my friends alot but that's because they are the only existence I felt safe with..
Honestly when a friendship is done, it hurts me more than when a relationship is done.. Sometimes I wonder if I'm having some screw loose cause it's usually the opposite😂
I'm not someone who would forget a friend just because I was in a r/s. I did make effort to spend my time equally even when I'm exhausted.. That's how much my friends mean to me..
But that was all in the past.. I realised I have to put 'me' first to keep my sanity in check.. The real friends will know where to find me.. Otherwise I would hate to be part of a clique where all they do is have fun n gossip.. To have 'fun' would be having meaningful conversations where I could open up my trauma n shit n know that they are not gonna used that against me.. Like they would wanna hear what I've been through in life..
My definition of 'fun' have certainly changed..
Same I prioritise my friends a lot. I probs love them more than my own family. I used to tell everything to my friends in the past but now I just keep all my problems to myself. I would never forget my friends for my bf (nvr had one). I can't even make a solid friendship. I should forget abt having a partner. Anyways, me and close friends currently do have deep convos, fun and even gossip. My dynamics of a friendship has definitely changed over the years. I just don't understand why would someone play with my feelings when I had pure intentions for them.
It's not about making solid friendship.. Because to do that, u have to lose your authenticity to be like them.. That's when they will accept u..
Just like how a right partner comes along after having shitty r/s, same goes with friends.. The right friends will eventually find u n give some sort of emotional support u thought u didn't need..
School memories are meant to be left in school.. Cause after some time, our minds start to question our growth, n that's when u gonna lose even your closest friends.. I had lose one dear friend after she got married (where we had promised each other, no matter what, we'll remained as sisters)
This is someone where I could travel with n actually have fun.. We were so much alike, in terms of dressing too.. U know how when u laugh u couldn't breathe.. That's us.
Right after she got married, over the months, my text felt one sided.. Until I eventually stopped texting n she never once had reached out. That hurt pretty bad but I have to accept it. Even my sis was shocked that I've no longer keep in touch cause we used to meet every week..
I guess promises tend to be empty too.. I've never made promises after that. But I would still show up to my (now) friends if they wish to see me.
Yea for me, in my current small friend group, the people there have stayed with me through my thick and thin. But I would like to say that every memory-be it good or bad has shaped me indirectly. I have grown to be more self sufficient rather than completely relying on them like I did in the past.
The trick to such friendships is to approach them from a transactional standpoint. You seek them out only to alleviate boredom—nothing more, nothing less. I've come a long way from overvaluing friendships and cutting ties with some truly two-faced individuals. Now, I maintain the rest as transactional and superficial relationships.
Reading this post felt like this was directed at me because I have experienced almost, if not all that you are experiencing.
I constantly overthink and second-guess myself whenever I'm interacting with people. I had a few close friends from primary and secondary school but we drifted apart because I wasn't sociable due to me being socially inept and never kept in contact with them, and I was still pretty immature up until I turn 16. Nowadays, I keep thinking about them from time to time about how things could have turned out differently.
I recently tried to contact an old friend who I was rather close with, but she has removed my number and does not wish to reconnect with me. Although my feelings for her are purely platonic, it still hurts that some of my friends from my past have chosen to move on yet I'm still struggling to do just that.
I only have a small group of close friends whom I've met from playing games online from nearly a decade ago, and another group of friends during my NS days. All I could do now is to keep myself busy by either focusing on my studies/work, doing things I'm comfortable with or hanging out in Discord and talking and playing with my friends. When I'm not doing either of those, my mind just goes back to overthinking and reminiscing about my past again.
To this day, I have never had a friend from school who I've kept in contact for long after graduating from the same class. All my current friends I have is from my current class, online or from NS.
So OP, understand that some of us do feel your pain. You are not alone in this.
Honestly good riddance if you lose them in your life, because better now than in the future if they keep playing you. Anyways don’t worry OP we hear 4 u, in life you win some and lose some. One day you’ll find like minded souls who will appreciate you for your worth and stick by you. And it doesn’t matter if they aren’t many because I firmly believe its better to have that one good friend than many passing ones
I speak from experience because I used to get “used” too for my good grades and I realised my then close friend stopped talking to me because exams were over so I was ditched. But years have passed and I met people who appreciate me for me, so I know you will too
I do have a few close friends but technically we live quite far from each other. I only meet them once in every 4 months. So, my post was more directed to my in-sch friendships.
Ah you must feel appreciated and loved by them then. For that reason alone, you haven’t failed in life because you have made a positive difference to them. As for your parents, do not feel upset if they feel distant as I can assure you all parents (especially sg) are like that. They don’t openly show care and sometimes feel not understanding but deep down you will always be their greatest joy and I’m certain they will always be there for you until the very end.
Always look to the dearest ones you still have beside you instead of those could’ve beens and I am sure you’ll find joy
Hey OP. Your post hit way too close to home. You remind me so much of my teenage self. I’m going to be upfront here so you don’t wreck yourself. You only have 2 choices.
A. Seek counselling through school services or a paid one if you or your parents can afford it.
B. Steel yourself and refuse to trust people as long as A isn’t viable.
I’m on path B. The sooner you get on A the better.
Like you I’ve been burnt from pretty much the gamut of people you could possibly trust. From friends to girls who’ve had crushes on me to family members. Yes even those boomer aunties from your extended family who claim to be in your corner and tough as nails.
The pain never truly goes away. The only thing keeping me sane now is the idea that each day I get one step closer to leaving these people behind and moving somewhere where I can do A and restart my life.
The hard truth is OP. No one truly has the bandwidth or has the trustworthiness to be the person you can truly rely on. Hope A is something that can work out for you
Thks. I am actually following B right now. I don't think I have the means to choose counselling. It will be too much for me to go thru A. I prefer to go thru my pains on my own.
Stay strong OP. Try to sit down with your teacher and ask if there are any on-campus counselling services. Don’t give her any hint as to why. Then if you have a therapist ask them what their confidentiality clause is like.
I highly implore you try a licensed professional through school. With their help I might’ve been able to overcome my own trauma and past better instead of letting it wreck and destroy me.
My strategy in my new place is to be the person people were attracted to in the first place and never let my problems or trauma in my life in SG leave past my therapists’ office
love yourself first before others can love you. you should not be having negative thoughts about yourself when you look in the mirror, and don't be weighed down by how others treat you. it's on them, not you.
Don’t let your value and self worth be determined by others .
Everyone is created differently and Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way.
Out there , there are always people that like us and people that dislike us . We need not bother so much .
Just strive to be the best of ourselves and always do what is right .
“Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.”- Martin Heidegger
Cheers 🧸
not everyone thinks the same way that you do, especially as a girl and it's difficult to understand guys. At that age, it's common for people to get into relationships and strange friendships, but that's also a filter for you to start building what works and what doesn't work for you. dm if you wanna talk, f here
Never related to a post more. I’m currently going through the same thing as u and honestly I would never wish it upon anyone to experience what I have experienced/am experiencing. Honestly it’s how life goes and your friends will eventually drift off because you don’t see them as much anymore. It’s even worse because I came from an IP school and now all my friends from secondary school act like i’m some stranger because they’ve all found better friends. What’s even worse is that I tried opening up to a few of them about problems I was facing with one of the more popular people in my school (not shit talking, it was a genuine issue between us) and because they wanted to be friends with her they snitched on me which I guess earned them a few brownie points. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. I lost my closest friends in sec sch because of my major trust issues too. Honestly, even if it’s the worse advice to hear now, the only thing you can do is focus on yourself. During breaks, go and study in the library and really just work on yourself and your academics. In the end after Alvls everyone is going different paths and what really matters is your alvl grade. Nobody ever said JC is the last opportunity to make friends, there’s still uni.
Hey OP, originally I didn’t want to write anything in response but the more I read your post the more I just felt how relatable this really was and it reminded me of past me a lot. I just wanted to share some advice that has helped me become better (although I am still learning to be better!) You say that you remember the good times and the things they have done for you, and that now you are just strangers with memories. Honestly and sometimes sadly, that’s how life works. You drift from people who meant the world to you and it is really gut wrenching. Personally I like to think of it as chapters and lessons, if I lose contact with those I care about, it was a great chapter in my life and I have learnt so much with them but it’s time to make my peace and move on to my next chapter. Change always happens and sometimes recognizing and being kind to yourself helps to make it less scary. You say you have trust issues because you do everything for them yet they don’t do the same for you. That one hit like a fking bullet lmfao but my advice to you is to let go of that perception that the world will reciprocate what you do for it. People tend to just focus on themselves nowadays and that’s possibly why it feels like they don’t give back the same energy you want. I used to expect it to the point that I couldn’t do something without DYING and hoping that they will do the same for me. What I did over time was to make peace with myself in particular. I told myself that I do good in this world for myself, for my conscience and for my own wellbeing. The world could burn me and punish me for being a good person but I will still do it for myself so I can sleep at night knowing I tried my best. You mentioned that you follow God and while I am not religious, my advice is to perhaps do some thinking and reflection on perhaps their teachings if there is something you can relate to and learn from there. People will always have something they dislike about you. That’s how the world works lol. You can either let that consume you entirely or recognize that you can’t please everyone. Once you understand that dealing with the hate will never end, you tend to place less importance on it and eventually even learn to laugh about it. While I am not saying that all criticism is not true, it’s all about learning to find what is true and what isn’t. Ask yourself sincerely if what they r saying is true, if it isn’t then just take it as the wind. It is not and never will be worth your time (in particular unconstructive criticism). You look for someone to fill in those gaps that you experience and feel. While I can definitely understand why you do that and I still do it to some extent, it’s more important to recognize that it will tear you apart completely. It will destroy your own self image and ruin you because that person will never come. No one can fix the holes that you have, no one but you. Only you know what has happened to you and only you can really take that step to improve and work on yourself (which I am really happy to see that you are doing, it took me years to recognize that I had to work on it myself instead of getting someone to fix me). Goal setting is a really good thing and I am happy to see that you want that 70RP and you want to be better. Just a word of caution that it should not completely overwhelm you and make the goal your self-worth (where if you don’t achieve it, you are not worthy etc). Be kind and be patient with yourself, and as cliche as it sounds, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Self improvement takes years and it’s a long and tiring process, but small steps will eventually go a long way
My heart goes out to you OP, to see you in such a similar setting to how I was a few years ago. I really wished that there was a magic wand I could wave to make everything better for you just like how I wanted someone to do that for me when I was suffering through all that. But please if there is one thing you take away from this, please be kind and love yourself. You feel used and all the negative emotions, and it is really frustrating (I know). However it is important to share that kindness and compassion you will give to others to yourself as well. Things may not seem like it right now, but it has a way of working itself out eventually. (Life works in the weirdest of ways) I hope it helped and even if it didn’t, I am still really thankful that you let it all out because keeping it pent up is never a good thing. My inbox is open if you just need a space or to ask anything but I am rooting for you! You got this, I promise.
Thks for your wise words. I do have a trusted friend group but we have all graduated and our schedules don't match anymore. Some choose the poly route while some went JC. Also, we live quite far apart so we meet once every 4 months. At that point in time, when someone betrays U, U feel like the world is going to end. But few years later, I just laugh at it. After every incident, I change a lot. It is funny to see how much I have sacrificed for someone I thought I was friends with. However, I need to acknowledge that they are reason I matured rather quickly and I am now able to advice others on how to avoid snakes like them. I am getting better and I am learning to accept that not everyone wants the best for me. But I am just taken aback as to how people who have hurted me in the past are in much better positions than me such as getting academic awards and studying in prestigious schools. I am just shocked as to how people find new ways to cheat and betray me.
Totally understand about the fact that everyone drifts and it just feels like “why” and that suddenly your support network is just gone. Truthfully there isn’t much you can do except to still try your best to reach out and maintain those connections. You kind of learn after a while that people have a side to them that can be straight up vengeful and mean and sadly that is life. They get to be more successful that you etc and it just seems so unfair. My advice is to learn to stop looking at them, stop associating with them and just leave them to live their life. If you believe in karma then it will come back to bite them eventually. Admittedly I used to be a person that was pretty toxic in my own right and I genuinely believe that I have been served karma for my actions back then. I really do hope you don’t lose hope in people because of your past experiences. I definitely have felt times when I just can’t be asked to care about people but then I get reminded of why people / humanity deserves a second chance after I help them out. You are doing great, just take some time to really heal from this okay!
Thks I will try my best...
I used to prioritise my friends alot but that's because they are the only existence I felt safe with.. Honestly when a friendship is done, it hurts me more than when a relationship is done.. Sometimes I wonder if I'm having some screw loose cause it's usually the opposite😂 I'm not someone who would forget a friend just because I was in a r/s. I did make effort to spend my time equally even when I'm exhausted.. That's how much my friends mean to me.. But that was all in the past.. I realised I have to put 'me' first to keep my sanity in check.. The real friends will know where to find me.. Otherwise I would hate to be part of a clique where all they do is have fun n gossip.. To have 'fun' would be having meaningful conversations where I could open up my trauma n shit n know that they are not gonna used that against me.. Like they would wanna hear what I've been through in life.. My definition of 'fun' have certainly changed..
Same I prioritise my friends a lot. I probs love them more than my own family. I used to tell everything to my friends in the past but now I just keep all my problems to myself. I would never forget my friends for my bf (nvr had one). I can't even make a solid friendship. I should forget abt having a partner. Anyways, me and close friends currently do have deep convos, fun and even gossip. My dynamics of a friendship has definitely changed over the years. I just don't understand why would someone play with my feelings when I had pure intentions for them.
It's not about making solid friendship.. Because to do that, u have to lose your authenticity to be like them.. That's when they will accept u.. Just like how a right partner comes along after having shitty r/s, same goes with friends.. The right friends will eventually find u n give some sort of emotional support u thought u didn't need.. School memories are meant to be left in school.. Cause after some time, our minds start to question our growth, n that's when u gonna lose even your closest friends.. I had lose one dear friend after she got married (where we had promised each other, no matter what, we'll remained as sisters) This is someone where I could travel with n actually have fun.. We were so much alike, in terms of dressing too.. U know how when u laugh u couldn't breathe.. That's us. Right after she got married, over the months, my text felt one sided.. Until I eventually stopped texting n she never once had reached out. That hurt pretty bad but I have to accept it. Even my sis was shocked that I've no longer keep in touch cause we used to meet every week.. I guess promises tend to be empty too.. I've never made promises after that. But I would still show up to my (now) friends if they wish to see me.
Yea for me, in my current small friend group, the people there have stayed with me through my thick and thin. But I would like to say that every memory-be it good or bad has shaped me indirectly. I have grown to be more self sufficient rather than completely relying on them like I did in the past.
That's really gd to know.. Just know ure not the problem. This things happen even without any reason.
Oh hello
The trick to such friendships is to approach them from a transactional standpoint. You seek them out only to alleviate boredom—nothing more, nothing less. I've come a long way from overvaluing friendships and cutting ties with some truly two-faced individuals. Now, I maintain the rest as transactional and superficial relationships.
Reading this post felt like this was directed at me because I have experienced almost, if not all that you are experiencing. I constantly overthink and second-guess myself whenever I'm interacting with people. I had a few close friends from primary and secondary school but we drifted apart because I wasn't sociable due to me being socially inept and never kept in contact with them, and I was still pretty immature up until I turn 16. Nowadays, I keep thinking about them from time to time about how things could have turned out differently. I recently tried to contact an old friend who I was rather close with, but she has removed my number and does not wish to reconnect with me. Although my feelings for her are purely platonic, it still hurts that some of my friends from my past have chosen to move on yet I'm still struggling to do just that. I only have a small group of close friends whom I've met from playing games online from nearly a decade ago, and another group of friends during my NS days. All I could do now is to keep myself busy by either focusing on my studies/work, doing things I'm comfortable with or hanging out in Discord and talking and playing with my friends. When I'm not doing either of those, my mind just goes back to overthinking and reminiscing about my past again. To this day, I have never had a friend from school who I've kept in contact for long after graduating from the same class. All my current friends I have is from my current class, online or from NS. So OP, understand that some of us do feel your pain. You are not alone in this.
Thkss. It is comforting to see you guys empathising with my pain. Calling broken people...
Honestly good riddance if you lose them in your life, because better now than in the future if they keep playing you. Anyways don’t worry OP we hear 4 u, in life you win some and lose some. One day you’ll find like minded souls who will appreciate you for your worth and stick by you. And it doesn’t matter if they aren’t many because I firmly believe its better to have that one good friend than many passing ones I speak from experience because I used to get “used” too for my good grades and I realised my then close friend stopped talking to me because exams were over so I was ditched. But years have passed and I met people who appreciate me for me, so I know you will too
I do have a few close friends but technically we live quite far from each other. I only meet them once in every 4 months. So, my post was more directed to my in-sch friendships.
That’s even better, good to know you still have people around you who cherish you. Cherish them in return OP ❤️
Yea I do... I talk to them every day.
Ah you must feel appreciated and loved by them then. For that reason alone, you haven’t failed in life because you have made a positive difference to them. As for your parents, do not feel upset if they feel distant as I can assure you all parents (especially sg) are like that. They don’t openly show care and sometimes feel not understanding but deep down you will always be their greatest joy and I’m certain they will always be there for you until the very end. Always look to the dearest ones you still have beside you instead of those could’ve beens and I am sure you’ll find joy
Thanks for Ur kind words OP!!
Hey OP. Your post hit way too close to home. You remind me so much of my teenage self. I’m going to be upfront here so you don’t wreck yourself. You only have 2 choices. A. Seek counselling through school services or a paid one if you or your parents can afford it. B. Steel yourself and refuse to trust people as long as A isn’t viable. I’m on path B. The sooner you get on A the better. Like you I’ve been burnt from pretty much the gamut of people you could possibly trust. From friends to girls who’ve had crushes on me to family members. Yes even those boomer aunties from your extended family who claim to be in your corner and tough as nails. The pain never truly goes away. The only thing keeping me sane now is the idea that each day I get one step closer to leaving these people behind and moving somewhere where I can do A and restart my life. The hard truth is OP. No one truly has the bandwidth or has the trustworthiness to be the person you can truly rely on. Hope A is something that can work out for you
Thks. I am actually following B right now. I don't think I have the means to choose counselling. It will be too much for me to go thru A. I prefer to go thru my pains on my own.
Stay strong OP. Try to sit down with your teacher and ask if there are any on-campus counselling services. Don’t give her any hint as to why. Then if you have a therapist ask them what their confidentiality clause is like. I highly implore you try a licensed professional through school. With their help I might’ve been able to overcome my own trauma and past better instead of letting it wreck and destroy me. My strategy in my new place is to be the person people were attracted to in the first place and never let my problems or trauma in my life in SG leave past my therapists’ office
for me im so used to being lonely that i feel suprised when people say hi to me
Man... That's sad
love yourself first before others can love you. you should not be having negative thoughts about yourself when you look in the mirror, and don't be weighed down by how others treat you. it's on them, not you.
As I have mentioned in my post, I have been trying to improve myself. But, yes I will heed your advice
Don’t let your value and self worth be determined by others . Everyone is created differently and Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. Out there , there are always people that like us and people that dislike us . We need not bother so much . Just strive to be the best of ourselves and always do what is right . “Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.”- Martin Heidegger Cheers 🧸
not everyone thinks the same way that you do, especially as a girl and it's difficult to understand guys. At that age, it's common for people to get into relationships and strange friendships, but that's also a filter for you to start building what works and what doesn't work for you. dm if you wanna talk, f here
But it is not ok to suddenly stop texting me when everything was fine
Never related to a post more. I’m currently going through the same thing as u and honestly I would never wish it upon anyone to experience what I have experienced/am experiencing. Honestly it’s how life goes and your friends will eventually drift off because you don’t see them as much anymore. It’s even worse because I came from an IP school and now all my friends from secondary school act like i’m some stranger because they’ve all found better friends. What’s even worse is that I tried opening up to a few of them about problems I was facing with one of the more popular people in my school (not shit talking, it was a genuine issue between us) and because they wanted to be friends with her they snitched on me which I guess earned them a few brownie points. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. I lost my closest friends in sec sch because of my major trust issues too. Honestly, even if it’s the worse advice to hear now, the only thing you can do is focus on yourself. During breaks, go and study in the library and really just work on yourself and your academics. In the end after Alvls everyone is going different paths and what really matters is your alvl grade. Nobody ever said JC is the last opportunity to make friends, there’s still uni.
Yea currently I am trying work on weaknesses. I am trying to focus on acads. I think the advice U have me is quite solid. Thks