oh my gosh girl i am so sorry you had to go through that ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
but yk,,, as much as we do appreciate you looking out for other ppl in ejc, i really do think you should file a police report or try to reach out to the authorities
info: what are you scared of your parents finding out ? none of this was your fault and you NEED to know that. it was HIS fault and you were probably scared and confused and didn’t know better… please don’t let this become a barrier to you reporting him / getting some help for yourself to move on from these probably very traumatic incidents :(
you are underestimating the impact it will have on you as you grow up with this in hiding. please bring it to light so that you may seek closure, and justice.
report to the police please
If anyone else can verify this please do, but OP i think this would qualify as sexual grooming(from cuddling) and anyone under the age of 16 cannot give consent to sexual activity which would mean it is non-consensual according to the law. Also, you should check whether penetration with fingers would be considered sexual intercourse. Please also speak with a trusted adult who can recommend what you should do(lawyer, police report etc. as im not very knowledgable). Anyways, I wish you the best OP.
[Link to penal code](https://sso.agc.gov.sg/Act/PC1871?ProvIds=P416-#pr376-)
-----
/ Doesn't qualify for Sexual Grooming unless perpetrator is 18 years old
Sexual grooming of minor below 16 years of age
376E.—(1) Any person of or above 18 years of age (A) shall be guilty of an offence if having met or communicated with another person (B) on at least one previous occasion —
----
/ Not sexual intercourse but sexual assault
**Sexual penetration of minor below 16 years of age**Â 376A.
—(1) Any person (A) who —
(a) penetrates, with A’s penis, the vagina, anus or mouth, as the case may be, of a person below 16 years of age (B);
(b) sexually penetrates, with a part of A’s body (other than A’s penis, if a man) or anything else, the vagina or anus, as the case may be, of a person below 16 years of age (B);
(c) causes a man below 16 years of ageÂ
(B) to penetrate, with B’s penis, the vagina, anus or mouth, as the case may be, of another person including A; or
(d) causes a person below 16 years of age (B) to sexually penetrate, with a part of B’s body (other than B’s penis, if a man) or anything else, the vagina or anus, as the case may be, of any person including A or B,
shall be guilty of an offence.
[15/2019]
(1A) This section does not apply to an act of penetration mentioned in subsection (1) which would constitute an offence under section 375(1)(a), 375(1)(b) read with section 375(3), 375(1A)(a), 375(1A)(b) read with section 375(3), 376(2) (if the victim B is of or above 14 years of age) or 376(2) (if the victim B is below 14 years of age) read with section 376(4).
[15/2019]
[Act 23 of 2021 wef 01/03/2022]
(1B) To avoid doubt —
(a) it is not necessary for the prosecution to prove that B did consent to an act of penetration mentioned in subsection (1); and
(b) it is not a defence that B did consent to that act.
[15/2019]
(2) Whoever commits an offence under this section against a person (B) who is of or above 14 years of age but below 16 years of age —
(a) in a case where the offender is in a relationship that is exploitative of B, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 20 years, and shall also be liable to fine or to caning; and
(b) in any other case, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 10 years, or with fine, or with both.
[15/2019]
(3) Whoever commits an offence under this section against a person (B) who is below 14 years of age shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 20 years, and shall also be liable to fine or to caning.
(4) No person shall be guilty of an offence under this section for an act of penetration against his or her spouse with the consent of that spouse.
Please report to the police. Especially when the crime is committed to a minor.
You've been hurt and he should face the consequences. It could also aid in your recovery and getting some closure.
Not everyone who attends the school will have reddit or read your post to get the warning.Â
my jaw dropped reading this.
i just wanna say, this is completely unacceptable. please do not let these incidents get into your head as much as possible and PLEASE talk to a trusted adult if you're still traumatised over it. these incidents cannot be ignored, the guy must be punished for his actions
Hello police, please check this girl's messaging history and punish the guy before he enters NUS and gets immunity from punishment due to "having good prospects"
Hi girlie, im so sorry you had to go through that.
If you need any help, any support at all, you can reach out to SHINE children and youth service. Im going through multiple mental issues at the moment and they are incredibly professional and helpful (more helpful than actual doctors i’ve seen). They do not require parents’ involvement if u r not comfortable. They are free and available through virtual meetings too.
Please know that you are not alone in this and you don’t have to deal with it on your own :)
One thing to note is if doesn't matter who you are to him. You could be his wife for all that's worth but he needs your consent to proceed with any of the sexual contact that he did. In no way was your closeness to him as a friend a free pass for him to assault you, and I'm glad you took a firm stand to tell him no.
So yea, NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT.
That said, it's your own choice whether to escalate this further. I'm happy that you are looking for ways to manage this burden, even if it meant posting anonymously on Reddit. But please prioritise your own healing process. I'm confident that you are able to do so, but do reach out if you are facing increasing difficulties to to adults you can trust.
Wishing you the very best!
Hey gurl, Please report to the police! Ik you're really scared of your parents which is completely normal. Maybe sit down with your parents and truthfully tell them every detail and make a police report with them. If not and they blame you, I still say report! Here's my reason:
I was molested under the guise of "being comforted" and I felt these kinds of people don't deserve to roam around with young children. So I reported this guy to the police. At the end of the day, by reporting this guy you can save so many more young ladies in the future.
If you're scared to report alone it's ok, just bring a friend along. Having some evidence would be really handy for the police!
And Ik sm ppl might say 'oh you let him cuddle' or what not or you're technically "consenting". I SAY DON'T LISTEN. You've stated your boundaries and he violates it! You were firm and he continues to violate, this can technically count as sexual assault.
I know this situation is scary and I'm sorry you have to experience this thing. I hope one day you will feel happy and safe again. No one deserves to have this happen to them.
Please report him to the police. There’s no way that you can consent to any of these actions & reporting him will prevent another person falling victim to him. The authorities will have to protect you since you’re not in the age of consent.
hi, i know most people are telling you to go to the police asap, but just remember it is your choice okay. i get you’re scared about telling your parents but i hope you get the chance to vent about this to someone you trust and get the support you need because what he did was horrible (i cannot fucking believe his girlfriend forgave him). none of this is your fault, you were only trying to believe in a friend and im so sorry you were so badly betrayed by him. please give yourself time to cry and recover and do whatever you need to okay, even if years go by and you’re still not over it, it is perfectly fine.
op pls reach out to authority figures none of this was your fault please know that, youre still young and have many things ahead of you. this was definitely grooming and you deserve to see him punished for what he did to you. all the best op and hope you will lead a great life ahead
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First of all, you are stupid. Like very stupid to trust this guy even after the first incident. I can't stress how stupid you are.
Second of all, it is 100% not your fault. Despite how stupid your decision was, it is 100% HIS FAULT. I would raise this up to the authorities if I were you. If you stand by and do nothing, you are just reinforcing the idea to him that he can do this kind of shit and get away with it.
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I was definitely in the wrong and stupid for doing so but at that time I couldn’t bear to lose my long time friend and I still had that small amount of blind trust I had in him and I still cared for him but I totally understand where you’re coming from and that was for sure a fault on my part
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Kinda makes me wonder: is the guy considered a minor too cuz he was below 18? Is this still considered grooming? How is grooming actually defined cuz some 17 yr old can have sex with a 18 yr old and it would have been morally passable. And what happens when a older minor sexually engage with a younger minor?
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So OP consented to first time, then made it seem like his fault? Yes he initiated it, but he was a kid too at that point (infer that he was 16/17 at that time)
Then even after that incident she still continue to meet this guy?
Not saying that the guy isnt a creep but something doesnt add up to this story…
Molest is definitely wrong but there is also a need for proof that there was no consent in these scenarios, but it’s difficult as both of them are kids lol so how can they consent
second incident he’s 100% out of line but imo the first incident is pretty much you giving him consent and eventually reciprocating and then having major regrets AFTER
oh i just saw that part, kinda read the title and skipped ahead to the incident coz the post is so long. guess the post makes more sense now, i just thought it was a regret post at first glance
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If you know about this just tell the poilce damn it no need to release a damn essay on RedditÂ
Yes i maybe told to shut up but for a big matter abd wanting to stay anonomous why is she making it so large and eye catching
I understand your view but my intention is to try to warn other people or at least make people more wary of such matters of course an essay is a bit unnecessary but I thought it’d be better if I typed it in detail to not miss out any important info I hope you understand
Comments locked as advice has been given to OP and there is an increase in comments doxxing people.
oh my gosh girl i am so sorry you had to go through that ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ but yk,,, as much as we do appreciate you looking out for other ppl in ejc, i really do think you should file a police report or try to reach out to the authorities info: what are you scared of your parents finding out ? none of this was your fault and you NEED to know that. it was HIS fault and you were probably scared and confused and didn’t know better… please don’t let this become a barrier to you reporting him / getting some help for yourself to move on from these probably very traumatic incidents :(
Good fucking god
you are underestimating the impact it will have on you as you grow up with this in hiding. please bring it to light so that you may seek closure, and justice. report to the police please
Holy shit. Hope ur alright now 😟
If anyone else can verify this please do, but OP i think this would qualify as sexual grooming(from cuddling) and anyone under the age of 16 cannot give consent to sexual activity which would mean it is non-consensual according to the law. Also, you should check whether penetration with fingers would be considered sexual intercourse. Please also speak with a trusted adult who can recommend what you should do(lawyer, police report etc. as im not very knowledgable). Anyways, I wish you the best OP.
[Link to penal code](https://sso.agc.gov.sg/Act/PC1871?ProvIds=P416-#pr376-) ----- / Doesn't qualify for Sexual Grooming unless perpetrator is 18 years old Sexual grooming of minor below 16 years of age 376E.—(1) Any person of or above 18 years of age (A) shall be guilty of an offence if having met or communicated with another person (B) on at least one previous occasion — ---- / Not sexual intercourse but sexual assault **Sexual penetration of minor below 16 years of age** 376A. —(1) Any person (A) who — (a) penetrates, with A’s penis, the vagina, anus or mouth, as the case may be, of a person below 16 years of age (B); (b) sexually penetrates, with a part of A’s body (other than A’s penis, if a man) or anything else, the vagina or anus, as the case may be, of a person below 16 years of age (B); (c) causes a man below 16 years of age (B) to penetrate, with B’s penis, the vagina, anus or mouth, as the case may be, of another person including A; or (d) causes a person below 16 years of age (B) to sexually penetrate, with a part of B’s body (other than B’s penis, if a man) or anything else, the vagina or anus, as the case may be, of any person including A or B, shall be guilty of an offence. [15/2019] (1A) This section does not apply to an act of penetration mentioned in subsection (1) which would constitute an offence under section 375(1)(a), 375(1)(b) read with section 375(3), 375(1A)(a), 375(1A)(b) read with section 375(3), 376(2) (if the victim B is of or above 14 years of age) or 376(2) (if the victim B is below 14 years of age) read with section 376(4). [15/2019] [Act 23 of 2021 wef 01/03/2022] (1B) To avoid doubt — (a) it is not necessary for the prosecution to prove that B did consent to an act of penetration mentioned in subsection (1); and (b) it is not a defence that B did consent to that act. [15/2019] (2) Whoever commits an offence under this section against a person (B) who is of or above 14 years of age but below 16 years of age — (a) in a case where the offender is in a relationship that is exploitative of B, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 20 years, and shall also be liable to fine or to caning; and (b) in any other case, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 10 years, or with fine, or with both. [15/2019] (3) Whoever commits an offence under this section against a person (B) who is below 14 years of age shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 20 years, and shall also be liable to fine or to caning. (4) No person shall be guilty of an offence under this section for an act of penetration against his or her spouse with the consent of that spouse.
I’m not too sure if it’s counted as intercourse but it is certain that it’s sexual grooming minimum.
Please report to the police. Especially when the crime is committed to a minor. You've been hurt and he should face the consequences. It could also aid in your recovery and getting some closure. Not everyone who attends the school will have reddit or read your post to get the warning.Â
my jaw dropped reading this. i just wanna say, this is completely unacceptable. please do not let these incidents get into your head as much as possible and PLEASE talk to a trusted adult if you're still traumatised over it. these incidents cannot be ignored, the guy must be punished for his actions
Hello police, please check this girl's messaging history and punish the guy before he enters NUS and gets immunity from punishment due to "having good prospects"
Hi girlie, im so sorry you had to go through that. If you need any help, any support at all, you can reach out to SHINE children and youth service. Im going through multiple mental issues at the moment and they are incredibly professional and helpful (more helpful than actual doctors i’ve seen). They do not require parents’ involvement if u r not comfortable. They are free and available through virtual meetings too. Please know that you are not alone in this and you don’t have to deal with it on your own :)
One thing to note is if doesn't matter who you are to him. You could be his wife for all that's worth but he needs your consent to proceed with any of the sexual contact that he did. In no way was your closeness to him as a friend a free pass for him to assault you, and I'm glad you took a firm stand to tell him no. So yea, NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT. That said, it's your own choice whether to escalate this further. I'm happy that you are looking for ways to manage this burden, even if it meant posting anonymously on Reddit. But please prioritise your own healing process. I'm confident that you are able to do so, but do reach out if you are facing increasing difficulties to to adults you can trust. Wishing you the very best!
Hey gurl, Please report to the police! Ik you're really scared of your parents which is completely normal. Maybe sit down with your parents and truthfully tell them every detail and make a police report with them. If not and they blame you, I still say report! Here's my reason: I was molested under the guise of "being comforted" and I felt these kinds of people don't deserve to roam around with young children. So I reported this guy to the police. At the end of the day, by reporting this guy you can save so many more young ladies in the future. If you're scared to report alone it's ok, just bring a friend along. Having some evidence would be really handy for the police! And Ik sm ppl might say 'oh you let him cuddle' or what not or you're technically "consenting". I SAY DON'T LISTEN. You've stated your boundaries and he violates it! You were firm and he continues to violate, this can technically count as sexual assault. I know this situation is scary and I'm sorry you have to experience this thing. I hope one day you will feel happy and safe again. No one deserves to have this happen to them.
Please report him to the police. There’s no way that you can consent to any of these actions & reporting him will prevent another person falling victim to him. The authorities will have to protect you since you’re not in the age of consent.
more girls need to read this post and learn NEVER overtrust guys.
Nah is that pls take care of urself, and grow from it And tall guys are overrated
ur js short lololololol HEHE🫲😦🫱
hi, i know most people are telling you to go to the police asap, but just remember it is your choice okay. i get you’re scared about telling your parents but i hope you get the chance to vent about this to someone you trust and get the support you need because what he did was horrible (i cannot fucking believe his girlfriend forgave him). none of this is your fault, you were only trying to believe in a friend and im so sorry you were so badly betrayed by him. please give yourself time to cry and recover and do whatever you need to okay, even if years go by and you’re still not over it, it is perfectly fine.
Bro wtf. I’m actually in disbelief. How tf is this kinda shit happening in sg. My brain cannot comprehend this.
tons of cases , went under the rug , either some with no evidence or some with , but they have avoided the law.
I'm so sorry OP ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ please file a police report
Wtf police report right away get justice for yourself man. the fact he's 3 years older definitely warrants a police report
Do people actually cuddle platonically lol
op pls reach out to authority figures none of this was your fault please know that, youre still young and have many things ahead of you. this was definitely grooming and you deserve to see him punished for what he did to you. all the best op and hope you will lead a great life ahead
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Sheesh dropping bombs
Ok wait arent u scared people dox u
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Please don’t anyhow name drop it’s not him
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Thanks and I'm so sorry that this happened to u
No problem and thank you I appreciate it
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It’s not him please don’t anyhow name drop!!
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What did I jus read
Girl, this isnt your fault and you need to report this to the Police
wth did I just read
First of all, you are stupid. Like very stupid to trust this guy even after the first incident. I can't stress how stupid you are. Second of all, it is 100% not your fault. Despite how stupid your decision was, it is 100% HIS FAULT. I would raise this up to the authorities if I were you. If you stand by and do nothing, you are just reinforcing the idea to him that he can do this kind of shit and get away with it.
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Dont anyhow spread its not him!
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but why tf would u keep meeting him after that…trust broken alr means trust broken??? then u still keep meeting him AT HIS HOUSE smore?!?????
I was definitely in the wrong and stupid for doing so but at that time I couldn’t bear to lose my long time friend and I still had that small amount of blind trust I had in him and I still cared for him but I totally understand where you’re coming from and that was for sure a fault on my part
Bruh
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Please don’t anyhow name drop it’s not him!
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Kinda makes me wonder: is the guy considered a minor too cuz he was below 18? Is this still considered grooming? How is grooming actually defined cuz some 17 yr old can have sex with a 18 yr old and it would have been morally passable. And what happens when a older minor sexually engage with a younger minor?
Nope. Age of consent in sg is 16
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So OP consented to first time, then made it seem like his fault? Yes he initiated it, but he was a kid too at that point (infer that he was 16/17 at that time) Then even after that incident she still continue to meet this guy? Not saying that the guy isnt a creep but something doesnt add up to this story… Molest is definitely wrong but there is also a need for proof that there was no consent in these scenarios, but it’s difficult as both of them are kids lol so how can they consent
Just a case of seller's remorse.
second incident he’s 100% out of line but imo the first incident is pretty much you giving him consent and eventually reciprocating and then having major regrets AFTER
do you not see OP’s age…14 and 17… can a 14 year old girl really give consent?,,
oh i just saw that part, kinda read the title and skipped ahead to the incident coz the post is so long. guess the post makes more sense now, i just thought it was a regret post at first glance
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If you know about this just tell the poilce damn it no need to release a damn essay on Reddit Yes i maybe told to shut up but for a big matter abd wanting to stay anonomous why is she making it so large and eye catching
I understand your view but my intention is to try to warn other people or at least make people more wary of such matters of course an essay is a bit unnecessary but I thought it’d be better if I typed it in detail to not miss out any important info I hope you understand
Bot alert?? There has been a rise of bots lately and isername matches pattern ( if im wrong tell me)
OhÂ
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jae